#this style is so freeing...im in grade school again...

[bobosbillionsknives]

I think I'm genuinely losing my mind

[jqmalikhsgib]

astrology

one

in most stories being the youngest kid means being the sheltered child. everyone would see the baby of the family being favored more than the eldest or middle child. for you, it wasn’t ever like that.

you grew up in an classic middle class family. your mother was a prosecutor and your father was a detective. your older brother followed in his fathers footsteps. he went to college, worked his ass off, and became an officer.

and your sister became a lawyer just like your mom. she was damn good at it too.

you on the other hand, you had different dreams. you never wanted to be cooped up in a bubble. your dreams were to travel the world, draw the most beautiful sights you’ve ever seen, meet new people, discover yourself.

when you graduated high school you saved up enough money over the years to do so. you took different jobs just to pay bills and continue to move along.

your parents never thought it was a great idea. they’d always scold you to go to college. they’d get your siblings along in it but it just never worked. you loved your free spirited life style.

you visited your family every once in a while. but after ten years of being free, ten years of constantly hearing the same things over and over, ten years of nonstop get bugged over when you’re gonna grow up and turn your life around, you were tired.

you stopped going to every christmas, every thanksgiving, every birthday, any holiday. you’d come up with some excuse. telling your family you had a shift at whatever job you had.

truth was, you needed to be away. your family back home may not have understood. besides your best friend, you didn’t really keep in contact with anyone.

spencer was the only one who stood beside you. he knew that you had other dreams and aspirations. he never judged you for drifting off and exploring the world. he was the one to encourage you.

“yn, remember what you told me when i had a hard time deciding to skip a few grades? you said that if i didn’t, id always wonder. you told me im too smart to be in seventh grade and i needed to get off my ass and go show those high school idiots how smart i truly am. you’re an amazing artist, yn! i know you can make a name for yourself.”

that was the only thing you needed to hear before you packed your bags, bought a plane ticket, and began your journey. you never regret your decision.

it’s why you’re so glad to be in virginia. getting to see spencer again made you happy. you haven’t seen your best friends since he made it into the behavioral analysis program. you knew spencer was beyond smart. knowing that he was working with the smartest people, fighting crime, and kicking ass, made you proud.

you smile at the guard up front. “hi, im here to see doctor spencer reid.”

the guard asked for a form of identification before smiling and giving you a visitors badge. spencer made sure to let them know you’d be coming by.

when you finally got to his floor your eyes widened with how big it truly was. you never thought you’d ever be here. standing in front of a team full of people who study human behavior.

“yn!?” spencer runs to his friend.

“woah, slow down there pretty boy.”

you opens your arms wide as spencer lifts you up and spins you around. you giggled before he sets you down.

“hi, genius!”

“god, i miss you.”

“miss you too bud. this place is incredible, spence. how do you guys get any work around here done. i wouldn’t know how to sit still.”

spencer just shrugs as he walks the two of you over to his desk. you spot two individuals.

one of them was a woman. she was beautiful. her dark locks were slowly fading to grey, but she definitely rocked it.

the other was a tall, muscular build man. he had a cocky smirk on his face. he was definitely handsome. you can tell he’s a bit of a player but ultimately a sweetheart.

“well pretty boy, you gonna introduce us?”

spencer smiles. “guys, this is my best friend since diapers, yn! yn thats emily and derek.”

you gently waved.

“hi. it’s nice to finally meet you. spencer talks bout you guys all the time. im glad he has someone else to bug besides me.” you playfully hit his arm.

“you must be someone special. reid doesn’t hug anyone. says—”

“it’s safer to kiss? he’s been saying that since we were children. i think he came up with that when he had a crush on our next door neighbor, dawn.”

“hey! it’s an actual fact!” spencer defends.

you playfully roll your eyes. “when are you off, butthead? i wanna look at places while im here.”

“im off this weekend.”

“you’re moving down here?!”

“yeah. spencer constantly tells me how great this place is. it’s gotta be better than nevada if it’s got spencer’s vote of approval.”

“it is a great state. you’ll love it. if you need help finding something im sure i could be of service.”derek flirts.

“thanks. i should probably let you all get back to work. ill—”

“we have a case!” you get interrupted. you slowly lift your head and your heart skips a beat.

he stares at you with a scowl on his face. you assumed it was a permanent one. he was tall, had a beautiful head of hair, his face was clean shaven, his suit was definitely dry cleaned. he looked like a man you’d see in a fairytale. like how you’d imagine prince eric from the little mermaid to look. he was breathtaking.

“i’ll probably be gone for a few days. will you be okays exploring the city without me?” spencer breaks you out of your trance.

“um—yeah. just be safe. and call me!”

spencer smiles as he squeezes your arm before walking away. you give your heart a second to go back to normal speed.

you think you’re gonna love it here.

so, yes it’s an age gap between them. listen, im not gonna be like some people and say i have a huge problem with age gaps, because i do not!

yes, at times it can be gross. when someone is freshly eighteen and dating someone in their mid to late twenties or older, it’s gross

if someone knew the person when they were a child and begin dating them. even if they’re in their twenties, it’s gross

but as someone who’s 25 and has only dated men older since i was like 22, i don’t see much of a problem as long as they were two consenting adults.

that being said, read it if you want and if you don’t, scroll past it.

reader is 28

aaron is 44

[ask-decepticon-nightglitch]

Idia Shroud x Reader

˚₊ ⋆ ☠︎︎ ⋆ ₊˚

My small, child hands reached for my very first tablet, excitedly turning it on to watch "had3s"' livestream. I saw the young boy, around 10 years old, with fiery hair in the livestream playing his video games. He was so good! My finger went to the comments.

Und3rw0rld: Wow! Good job with that level! I am still trying to defeat the first boss!

I sent the comment, seeing my username pop up in the comment section.

had3s saw the comment and I swear I saw a smile on his face. I heard him speak in his soft, young voice, "thank you, Und3rw0rld. Maybe I can give you some tips? You can always pm me" no way did he just suggest helping me with that darn level?

And so, that is how our young friendship started. 

Every day, I would hop onto my tablet, texting my new online friend. We would talk for hours! Often, I would lock myself in my room, texting the streamer that I had met in that specific stream. 

**

had3s sent you a message!

had3s: Und3rw0rld, r u online?

Und3rw0rld: yeah, wbu?

had3s: yeah, r u free to chat 4 a bit? im bored

Und3rw0rld: totally! :)

had3s: how old are u?

Und3rw0rld: Im 10, turning 11 next month!

had3s: im 10 too! my birthday isn't until december

I pressed the home button and went to the game that I was struggling with. My mini character jumped to the side, avoiding an attack from the boss, only to be shot with an arrow.

Game over.

I sighed in frustration.

had3s sent you a message!

I ignored the message for now, retrying the level. 

Game over.

I tried it again.

Game over.

I eventually went to my messages.

had3s: what do u want to talk about?

had3s: hello?

had3s: r u busy? should i stop texting?

Und3rw0rld: sorry! i was playing a game and kept losing

had3s: ohhh

Und3rw0rld: would you like to give me tips for the level im stuck on?

had3s: sure :)

~

"Y/n? Are you playing on that tablet again?" Mother came into my room. I was 12, and ready to start middle school.

"Yeah! My friend on here likes the same games I like." I explained with a smile.

Mother sighed and took the tablet from my hands.

"Hey-!?"

"You need to get ready for school. You can have it back when you're home." Mother said in a stern tone, "honestly, sometimes I regret giving this thing to you."

I went to my room, feet stomping hard on the wooden floor, slamming my door as hard as could. I aggressively threw my loungewear on the floor of my room, growling angrily as I pulled on my school clothes. I grabbed my f/c bag and stormed off through the front door without saying goodbye to Mother.

School was always boring.

No one wanted to be friends with the "weirdo" as people called me.

"Ewww, look at them!" Some students loved throwing random insults at me. Oh, my hair is too messy for your liking? Well, I didn't style it for you. My clothes look weird? Cry about it. My makeup is smudged? Don't care. I'm a friendless freak? Ha, yeah, I am, so what?

All I cared about was getting through this school day.

All I cared about was getting my tablet back so I could talk to had3s more.

It felt like torture.

Sitting through all 6 judgmental classes.

Finally, the bell rang, and I grabbed my bag, packing up my notebooks and papers. I shoved them in the bag and slung it over my shoulder, rushing out of the building. I tried my best to hurry home. My mind raced; my feet moved faster.

I approached my house, opening the door.

"Mother! Can I have my tablet now?" I said to the lady in the kitchen who was preparing dinner.

"I thought about it, and I think you should focus more on your studies than some random creep on the internet. I've locked you out of your tablet." Mother spoke.

My world suddenly crashed into a fiery explosion. What...?

"What do you mean?! My grades are fine- I'm passing tests!" 

Mother silenced me.

"You don't have any friends; you are making enemies and teachers have seen you beating up a student." Mother replied sternly, "do not speak to me in that tone."

~

had3s went online that day, waiting for Und3rw0rld to text him.

He waited.

He waited some more.

He did not get an answer.

had3s opened up the chat.

had3s: r u online?

had3s: hello??

had3s: did i do something wrong?

had3s: im sorry...

had3s: i'll leave you alone...

~

The next day, had3s went on again.

He saw that Und3rw0rld still did not open the texts he sent.

had3s: are you okay?

When he did not get an answer, he closed the text app.

The next day, no reply.

The day after that, still no reply.

A week later, not a single text was opened.

Eventually, he gave up trying to reach out. He was upset, he had really grown fond of his online friend 2 years.

~

Years have passed, had3s still did not get a single reply. 

I was 16 now, and I had transferred to a mage school called Night Raven College after an incident involving a horse and a carriage.

I was walking through the hallway of the Ignihyde dorm when I bumped into someone with blue, fiery hair.

It almost reminds me of...

"Oh, sorry. I wasn't looking where I was going. I'm new here." I looked at the student I bumped into. He looks so familiar. Why?

"I-I'm Idia Shroud. The dorm leader." The student said.

"I'm Y/n. It is nice to meet you."

I notice the student, Idia, was carrying around a tablet.

Hey...that almost looks like the same model tablet that streamer friend of mine has.

I haven't talked to him in years. I miss him. Thanks, Mother. I would even say I had started to grow feelings for the friend.

"Could you show me to my room? There are so many rooms in these halls."

Idia gave a small nod and hesitantly turned to his tablet, looking up my name.

"You're my age. And your birthday is next month?" Idia asked out loud, a little surprised by the information. Where had he heard of this information before?

"Yep, ah! There is my room." I smiled at the room number, going inside.

" kay, um...bye" Idia said, walking away.

And that was when it struck me.

I knew that voice.

I have heard those words before on had3s' livestreams. That was how he ended his videos.

"Oh...my goodness... could he be? No... that would be impossible. Well, he is my age, so not entirely impossible. Is he had3s?" I sat on my bed, looking around the room. I had a large monitor and a comfy looking gaming chair.

My thoughts were running wild.

had3s has blue, fiery hair. Idia has the same exact hair. Both have bright yellow eyes. Oh, my goodness, that was had3s.

~

I did not get much sleep that night. The nights went on and off like that for four weeks. One morning, I went to Idia's room and knocked on the door, wanting to find answers to the Idia-had3s connection.

Idia yelped from inside the room and opened the door.

"O-Oh! Um! What do you need?"

"Can I ask you some questions?" I asked.

Idia's anxiety spiked.

"Um...kay? That is kind of sus, NGL. But come in." Idia let me in to his room. 

He had anime figurines on a shelf and books everywhere. His room was fairly messy. He also had a big monitor in his room.

"Do you do livestreams?" I asked.

"Yes, but not as much as I used to. When I was younger I did them all the time."

"What was your gamer tag?"

Idia was very curious now.

"had3s."

My eyes widened at the name that left his mouth.

"Oh...Oh, Idia. I've missed you. We can finally meet properly now. I'm Und3rw0rld."

Idia's eyes widened and he felt a blush tint his cheeks and hair pink.

"You're Und3rw0rld? W-Why did you leave? I thought you were mad at me!" Idia spoke just above a whisper.

"I'm so sorry I did that to you. You see, when I started attending middle school, my mom took away my tablet and locked me out so I couldn't text you again. I'm so sorry." I felt tears well up in my eyes.

Idia wanted so badly to hug me, but he wasn't used to physical affection. 

"Can I... Can I hug you, had3s?" I asked softly.

"Y-Yes."

We both were brought into an awkward hug, but soon we relaxed in each other's embrace.

I felt my cheeks burn.

"I guess I shouldn't be too surprised that I actually started developing feelings for you the more I thought about you." I smiled.

Idia blushed heavily.

"I feel the same. The more urgent I tried to reach out, the more nervous I'd feel. Like a good nervous." Idia shot me a sharp-toothed grin.

"Then... shall we become a couple? If you're comfortable. Or uh, do you want to be my player 2?"

"I-I'd like that."

I leaned up to kiss Idia's cheek.

"AH-! W-Why'd you do that? You surprised me!!" Idia spoke in a high-pitch tone.

~

I went to Idia's dorm, sitting on his bed while playing a game on my new phone. It was the game that introduced us to each other.

"You still can't get passed that first boss?" Idia snickered.

"Shut up."

"Let me help you." Idia wrapped his arms around me, guiding my hand to move across the screen to make my character dodge the boss attacks until I saw stars appear on the screen and a "You win!" came across the screen. It really brought back memories to that stream.

My face went red.

"T-Thanks."

-

I don't know how to end this sooo 1552 words

idia is baby

[sadgirlnoga]

looking for people who can volenteer as sensitivity readers for my ao3 story!

i have this story on ao3 called dancing in the devils auditorium, its the first ever story i wrote and it has a pretty diverse cast. the story takes place in late 2012 and focuses on julian, a 13 year old cishet white boy that comes from an evangelical christian household, on his first day of 7th grade he notices this other girl in his class named aya, a mixed jewish girl(ashkenazic father and cuban jewish mother) with a unique style that can pretty much be described as a mix of many types of jfashion, alternative fashion and inspired by cartoons and anime. they bump into eachother and start talking, afterwhich she makes him a tumblr account. but when he comes home and mentions her name to his parents they snap, out her as a "homosexual male" and forbid him from talking to her ever again. so he decides to investigate after his friends, marco and ben, convince him to keep talking to her. 2 days later and julian is sitting with his extended family, in which his dad mentions that julian talked to aya, while also outing her as trans in a very dehumanizing and degrading way, which aya overhears from the table across them. the next day julian is forced to stay inside the house because he isnt feeling well, yet he isnt contagous, alloing him to do his on research about the trans community and also allowing allowing aya and her friend tina to sneak past his clueless housekeeper and visit him, tina gives them some alone time and they end up talking, and than julian asks aya about her trans identity. aya reveals that shes not only trans, but shes also intersex and has klinefelters syndrome 48, XXXY. she opens up to julian about her bullying, religious trauma and mistreatment by the town she used to live in. after talking some more they both kiss but before they can establish their status aya has to walk tina home. tina and marco create a plan to set julian and aya up on a free movie date, which they end up successfully as the date ends with a kiss and they become a couple. as the story continues, both of their world begin to collide. aya helps julian think for himself and be a good boyfriend, and julian makes aya feel loved and helps her get over her past trauma and expiriences with horrible online relationships. there are also other characters that play pretty big roles in the story.

Im looking for:

Exvangelical sensitivity readers

Transfem sensitivity readers

Nonbinary sensitivity readers

Intersex sensitivity readers(preferably ones with Klinefelter Syndrome.)

Jewish sensitivity readers

Muslim sensitivity readers

Latinx sensitivity readers(preferably Cuban and Dominican)

black sensitivity readers(preferably darkskin black girls)

East asian sensitivity readers

Southeast asian sensitivity readers

South asian sensitivity readers

Bipoc sensitivity readers

Readers with cluster B personality disorders(preferably ASPD and HPD, also people with conduct disorder can really help)

Indiginous sensitivity readers

Genderfluid sensitivity readers

WLW sensitivity readers

Pansexual sensitivity readers

Transracial adoptee sensitivity readers

Sensitivity readers who are children of divorce

Shut in sensitivity readers

Physically disabled sensitivity readers

Intellectually disabled sensitivity readers

Sensitivity readers with all kinds of mental illnesses

Low income sensitivity readers

Older Gen Z sensitivity readers who were on tumblr during the early 2010s

And sensitivity readers who were in middle school from 2010-2014.

if your interested you can either comment, DM me on here or simply read the story on ao3 and comment there.

[nutzworth]

every so often i get reminded of my ex friend rose who drifted apart from our friend group around 2022... and i get SO MAD i start spouting steam from my ears and everything. its such a specific scenario but im going to explain it because im crazy

ive known her for like literally years. weve been friends at least since 2017 when our friend group was SUPER into undertale and we had a minecraft world where we were cringe and awesome we were just kids. everything is SO cringe. you have to understand this

and everyone continues to be friends etc etc i dont remember a lot from 2020-2021 but i get into homestuck and rose is crazy about danganronpa and like chucky and icp and stuff like that. assorted nonsense. at this point im CRAZY crazy about homestuck. rose reads a little bit of homestuck. she plays danganronpa and the sims and valorant. we text every day on discord in the friend group discord server. she helps me cosplay dirk strider for the first time with her knowledge from cosplaying danganronpa. its still cringe as hell admittedly but by god were we free

and then..... well rose lived around the same area as the friend group did. most of them anyway. but in 2021? late 2021 ish? she MOVED AWAY. to a little further. to where its kind of a hassle to visit. and she moves schools. and then she TURNS NORMAL!!!!!!!!!!!

i only see her via tiktok and instagram which are like notoriously fake apps to see people on. but shes NORMAL. shes those girls at school that are normal. my definition of normal is wildly general seeing as im totally in the top 10 weirdos in my grade but you have to trust me. shes NORMAL!!!!!!!! and she gets a girlfriend thats normal too. the girlfriend is not weird or cringe at all. i meet her and its WEIRD. cus shes normal and im weird and its its its. you get me

anyway while she turns normal she also drifts away from the friend group and eventually we dont talk. like ever anymore. and it DRIVES ME UP THE WAAAAALL!!!!!!! HOW CAN YOU BE THAT NORMAL? AFTER EVERYTHING? how how how. how can you have friends that dont even like KNOW what tumblr is. i assume. i dont know them but thats my guess. they LOOK normal TO ME. how can you cosplay danganronpa and read some pages of homestuck and and talk about sans x komaeda and go on discord and fuck around on minecraft and then BE NORMAL? AFTER THAT? COME ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thats my main gripe. i dont understand it at all. weirdos that KNOW what danganronpa and homestuck are cant just... cant just BE normal. and obviously i dont know what shes like behind closed doors but from how she was acting WHILE we were drifting apart shes just regular. and normal. and not a weirdo freak like the rest of us anymore. whaaaat what what what what HOW POSSIBLY!!! i dont understand. it makes me so mad. how can you simply move schools and then be normal.

what goes through her head... like is she happy... was she happier with us than them? does she hate us now? i looked at her tiktok and she posted this like tiktok trend(?) thing? and its like "love is not my ex and my old friends .... love is my girlfriend :heart:" like is she talking about us? does she not love us? i love her still. i dont know if ill ever stop loving all of my old friends. did she love us? in the moment? she helped me style a cringe ass dirk strider wig for halloween. she made me play your turn to die. does she still care about us? is she mad that we were mean toward her sometimes? shes sensitive. weve all known this. but we were only like 13 or something. does she blame us? does she think we were cringe? does she think we ARE cringe? does she regret it? does she miss it? uuugh ugh ugh ugh ugh. IM CRAZY. about her. ohh my god. i dont know her at all and i dont know if i ever will again. i wonder if she still thinks of us. i wonder if shes relieved shes not with us anymore. i wonder i wonder i wonder (head buried in hands)

[umishiqu]

this is so special to me this is so slay. im so happy people are catching on because it’s so hilarious to go back and look at these scenes again with the context of book 7. im gonna place a rant i did a little bit ago here which is just my interpretation of Kalim’s development and a little bit of Jamil’s but nonetheless:

Kalim is an interesting character. A lot of people expected, and wanted, his development to be related to the immediate freeing of Jamil from his services and fate. As much as this was important to Kalim, a lot of people don’t realize that this didn’t align with his or Jamil’s development. It doesn’t even acknowledge the position Kalim first starts with. Kalim starts from a place where he unknowingly trips up Jamil with things that don’t concern Jamil, but Kalim believes it to be important to him. In Kalim’s lab coat card, he explodes the kitchen by accident, and when Jamil comes to check on Kalim and make sure he is okay, Kalim brushes off Jamil’s concerns of Kalim possibly being killed by his family members and instead says that they should focus on fixing up the kitchen before focusing on Kalim’s homework. So that Jamil could make meals for a party that Kalim planned for - for Jamil to get to meet other people in Jamil’s grade and get along with them. Jamil is obviously upset with this and tells Kalim to cancel the party, which Kalim agrees to, because he doesn’t want to get Jamil angry.

People say Kalim has good intentions but bad decision-making skills, but I honestly thought that Kalim was more than emotionally intelligent to come to the conclusion of a party for Jamil. Part of the problem with Scarabia’s relationship is that they are codependent on each other. Kalim saw this and instinctively went ahead to create opportunities where Jamil can meet other people so he can bond with people other than Kalim. This happens a few times, where Kalim recognizes the problems with their relationship, and tries to go and fix it but because of misunderstandings his execution isn’t successful. In his ceremony robes, he knows Jamil isn’t feeling good about the upcoming year and tells Jamil that he should have been housewarden instead. Jamil denies this, and then tells Kalim if there’s anything wrong with the ceremony robes. Kalim, thinking that what Jamil is actually mad about is the robes and not the housewarden thing that he previously rejected Kalim’s proposal on, goes off to change the style of the robes. Jamil’s school uniform story is literally Kalim badly executing his plan of getting Jamil to stop overworking himself by cooking Kalim’s meals by purposefully chowing down on leftovers for the next day, foiled because he misunderstands the actual food Jamil wants and couldn’t properly bring the food to him. It’s an actual metaphor for the actual problems Kalim has with Jamil - misunderstandings and poor execution. Kalim tells Jamil “Hey, we should go to the cafeteria every day!” Jamil rejects this idea and Kalim is genuinely surprised at this. Kalim doesn’t act on whims just to act on whims, but because he has an idea that his crazy plan might actually help.

It happens again in Book 4, when he recognizes Jamil is concerned about their parents seeing Kalim serve food, but Kalim says that their parents aren’t there, so they shouldn’t be worried. Kalim’s emotional intelligence comes back again in the magic carpet ride, where he says it wouldn’t hurt if Jamil loosened up a little bit - understanding the stress and strife Jamil goes through, and still racking his head on possible reasons as to why. (There’s a reason as to why he doesn’t attribute Jamil’s personality to his and Kalim’s servant and master positions and I’ll explain it later.) Kalim’s been trying from Day 1 to work with Jamil and understand him but because of his poor execution of his plans, he keeps falling short. At the end of the day, Kalim not only has good intentions but thoroughly deduces what the roots of the problem of their relationship was. He’s actually pretty good at this in general, and deduces what Trey projecting onto the relationship between Kalim and his carpet means about Trey’s relationship with Riddle, and encourages Trey to vent to him. But there are moments like with Riddle’s gym story; Kalim not immediately seeing why he can’t just call Riddle horrible at fitness because it means Riddle will retaliate with anger and possibly get his magic shut down for the day, and Jamil covering up to stop the mess before it happens. (I’m going to be very honest though, Kalim will be mean in a reciprocal way for the sake of reciprocity if someone is mean to him. But it’ll be very subtle that it can easily be explained with obliviousness - Riddle first saying “Write your time down if you’re going to forget it next time”, and after Jamil tells Riddle thanks for babysitting Kalim, Riddle saying “You’re welcome, you deserve a break sometimes” when Kalim was literally right there… that was Kalim’s invitation to serve the shade right back 😂 Like… it’s his immediate response to Riddle saying that. He does this with Leona in New Years as well, when Leona says “unlike other people (Kalim), I actually have things to do with my time”, to which Kalim responds with “You should join in next time too!” implying that he knows Leona doesn’t actually have other things to do but sleep, and also acknowledging the shade on himself, which is kind of hilarious to me. And he doesn’t even do it on purpose - he’s not an evil mastermind, this is him giving back the attitude others give him because reciprocity is a part of his idea of friendship.) Or moments like in the Scarabia dorm uniform cards, where Kalim ends up making more work for Jamil even when they split their duties because Kalim did his parts sloppily or without care. That is an actual flaw of Kalim but it’s not obliviousness to a situation, it’s his carefree attitude that's the issue.

That reciprocity is actually part of the reason why Kalim didn’t catch what was going on with Jamil. We see in Kalim’s personal story that his fate of getting poisoned is the fate of the eldest son of the Asim family, and this was an idea told to Kalim by both his dad and Jamil. We see Jamil in Alab Nariya tell Kalim to go do his job instead of helping guide the guests, his friends, around. Kalim assumed this division of duties and roles was just how things are supposed to be, and that these are just aspects of themselves that they need to deal with. That Kalim needs to deal with even if he wants to do something else. What he didn’t realize was that Jamil was doing everything beyond his duty, not because it was him trying to be friends with Kalim and that Kalim should reciprocate to be friends with Jamil back, but because “beyond his duty” was actually a perceived part of his duty. No matter what solutions Kalim offers to Jamil, to Jamil it will always be within the context of “Jamil agrees to these solutions because Kalim is the master and Jamil is the servant or disagreed to these solutions because Kalim is the master and Jamil is the servant”, not because it’s actually something Jamil wants.

FYI, this is also why at the end, Jamil says he wants to get to choose whether he is the master or the servant. And this development is so important. He rejects the fake Kalim, all of Jamil’s hopes and distorted images of a fake Kalim, in the same manner that he rejected the real Kalim in Book 4. (And this is positioned as being Jamil’s equivalent to Vil killing everyone in his dream. Vil’s personality was not beautiful, and Jamil was not being mindful initially, but there are steps he’s taking to assert his perspective here.) He knows Kalim now and what he’ll do for Jamil. He knows Kalim will respond to his desires. But Jamil will decide if he wants to torture Kalim by asserting the role of a servant (nothing you do will matter because I’m stuck here and I know how badly being useless pisses you off), or if he wants to torture Kalim by asserting the role of a master (I will dictate how the pace of our conversations will go, I will tell you what I want, and I know you will do it for me). Kalim getting upset with Jamil in general over his attitude - finally realizing the core of what Jamil really wants - is why Jamil is so happy with this development even though he says in Book 4 “you never change” to Kalim with a relieved look on his face. Kalim is finally getting it and understanding it. Jamil was scared of what straying from the status quo meant for him, and is now starting to get comfortable with the paths they both chose.

After Book 7 and seeing people like Vil call Kalim a little scary for his traits, seeing Kalim blow up with Jamil the way he did, and seeing Kalim after that tell Jamil that’s he’s a little pissed Jamil didn’t get more hurt really makes you go back and look at the context of scenes in a different light. Everything led to this direction of character development. Kalim getting frustrated over the main vocals in Book 5… Jamil insinuating Vil’s overblot was Kalim’s fault and Kalim nearly screaming in frustration over it (he lets out a little squeal instead)… Kalim getting mad at Jade insinuating that the others might already be dead… Kalim hug-tackling Jamil out of relief but also at tiny frustrations because he was so worried, and Jamil in their dreams later on recognizing that Kalim doesn’t just hug but hug-tackles and Jamil not wanting to get tackled… This happens in events too. Kalim hugs Fellow after everything is said and done but also slaps him on the back more than a few times.

There are so many layers to him. Eventually, Kalim learnt to develop his very minuscule mean streak into actual retaliation out of rage. A part of why Book 4 worked so well is because their relationship is so interesting. Jamil and Kalim are both interesting. Azul even says that the only person Kalim cares enough about to even promise something like keeping a dangerous unique magic a secret is Jamil. Which gets you wondering how people actually perceive how Kalim interacts with other people in the cast, because he could easily have cared about anyone else in the same way. Jamil is the exception and it’s emphasized over and over again - he is the one person Kalim will not be mean to (used to), Kalim genuinely wants to help him especially because Jamil helps him (still does! back to Kalim’s nature of reciprocity, based on his interpretation of how friendships work), and he is the one person Kalim trusts. The only person. Measured now, like a lot of other developments with Kalim related to things he used to not be able to do (tie his headband, organize a parade by himself) but now can (Cloudcalling voice lines, Jamil’s comfy birthday story), but the idea is still there. Which was always to get to truly understand the real Jamil and fulfill his real desires!

side note pls do not worry if you didn’t catch the emotional intelligence thing I promise it is not a consensus in the fandom 😂😔 anyway cheers to these mfs we are getting some progress. i wish the fandom could deduce what the progress was too but unfortunately id be giving us too much credit, we’re still in our stupid 2022 twst debates for some reason

im so sorry im gonna yell about about kalim and jamil again bc it just hit me and this had been bothering me ever since i read book 4

kalim????? knew how basically "two-faced" jamil all along???? even before his overblot and all??? (sorry if this was obvious already and im just slow 🧍)

he is VERY emotionally intelligent so i was always confused how he never caught on to jamil being fake around him

i chalked it up to jamil just being incredibly good at lying

so when jade used his UM on kalim ;;; kalim KNEW it was jamil, he KNEW he was being hypnotized, but he outright REFUSED to out him to jade bc he cares about him so much

i was always waiting on how that part would be addressed later on but i don't think it was ever explicitly mentioned again???

anyways kalim knew deep down about jamil but on the outside, he is like "that can't be, he's my best friend! we knew each other our whole lives!! he would never do that to me" like i think he was in that state of denial, the possibility of the person he trusted the most betraying him

and i'm SO happy that during book 7 kalim finally realizes the power dynamic between them and finally calling jamil out on his bullshit

[aruuq]

to be honest anyone in the gangs of tokyo rev might as well cried in the exam because im guessing none of them actually put in much big effort to study in education

except mitsuya and hakkai, kokonoi and taiju seem more serious too,draken probably puts only like medium effort. takemichi, with hina's guidance might pull through. and then there's definitely kisaki...

yk im probably even guessing that mikey doesn't even attend the exam- or does he???

i mean we've seen baji, and many people think he's dumb in terms of education but what if what if, the rest of the boys are too??? or they just study till they barely pass or something

but then again i could be wrong since a lot of them made it to highschool ( but then again it's because toman disbanded and everyone just worked in their own ways? )

( this isn't a discrimination against their education smarts but just a simply thought )

Hmmm.....

-random anon

Types of Students – Tokrev Headcanons

characters: baji, chifuyu, draken, hanma, inupi, izana, kakucho, kazutora, kisaki, koko, mikey, mitsuya, pah, peh, ran, rindou, sanzu

genre & style: fluff, headcanons

word count: 0.8k

notes: at first i started answering your ask anon and then i realized how long it had become, so, well, i can as well put it into a full ass writing. tysm for the idea! 

warnings: not proofread ‘cause i’m almost sleeping while writing it (will correct it tomorrow morning)

Mikey doesn't and won’t care. An image of Mikey with a book, learning of his own free will about, let’s say, human anatomy, or doing a whole page of complicated equations with square roots and logarithms, doesn’t sit in my mind right. We’ve seen him saying that attending school is important, and then sleeping on his desk during every lesson, it’s obvious he doesn’t care

Draken is a bit more tamed, he may even prepare for an exam once in a blue moon, but he still doesn’t care about the whole school thing much. My boy has his goal and he does everything that may help him to achieve it – which means if he doesn’t see any value in learning a certain subject, he simply won’t do it. Bike shop supremacy, Kenny says.

On the other hand I know for a fact Mitsuya studies. The boy doesn’t sit with books until midnight each day, but he still grasps as much as he can from the education he’s provided with. He’s thankful for what he has plus he just wants to be a good example for his little sisters. Huge good big bro vibes.

Chifuyu looks like someone who doesn’t study much, yet soaks knowledge like a sponge. If he attends classes, he doesn’t have to learn anything at home. If he has a few days break from school, well… good job Fuyu, bcs ur gonna be a bit fucked! But somehow this lucky boy manages to get a decent mark every time, what we can’t say about…

…his dear comrade. Baji ain’t the sharpest tool in a shed, nor is he someone with a great attention span. The only way he gets good grades is when Chifuyu revises material with him. For the younger boy it’s a little repetition, for Keisuke a battlefield.

Kazutora isn’t bothered by the idea of studying. It’s an option. Sure. Is he actively doing anything connected with school? No. Why would he? He does get the concept behind it, but he simply doesn’t want to. He’s fine without it, luck's on his side and he almost always passes exams on his first tries.

When it comes to Pah and Peh I think they are at pretty the same level of smartness. As much as I’m sure Peh takes a book once in a while to make sure he’s going to pass the semester, Pah doesn’t care. He knows his future is secured so he focuses on anything he wishes for.

I don’t think Sanzu even attends school??? He doesn’t look like a type to think hmmm, yeah, it’s a great day to meet these annoying fuckers, have hands covered in a nasty ass chalk, and to do some useless assignments! On the other hand Haru looks like someone who has absorbed chalk like candies as a kiddo, so I’m sure there has been time he attended school. He just doesn’t do it anymore lol

Inupi studies only on specific subjects, the one with teachers he likes and respects. He doesn’t care much if it’s a subject he likes or not, if the person teaching him is likable he’s going to do his best not to disappoint them, and if not… he’s gonna make sure they're gonna remember him. I just think he’s still this salty ‘n petty kid deep, deep inside lmaoo

Koko’s naturally good. He doesn’t learn much, he has decent grades on default, just ‘cause he’s smart. Oh, and he’s this annoying kid who always argues with teachers and corrects them. He doesn’t care if they don’t like him, after all there’s nothing they can do to him due to his high grades.

Izana isn’t bothered by most of the subjects. He doesn’t even attend them if he finds them useless. But if there’s a person he despites, he does everything to humiliate them in terms of knowledge. He studies only on this exact subject he shares classes with this person, and does everything to be better than them

Kakucho is a perfect example (I would say the best in the whole Tokrev) of a good student. His learning habits are well-balanced, he knows when to make breaks, doesn’t overwork himself, and gets the best grades. Somehow every teacher likes him and doesn’t get how he’s friends with somebody like Izana

Ran and Rindou are these mysterious fellas who appear only on the day of final exams. There are many rumors about them, ‘cause they don’t attend any classes, don’t do any assignments for the whole year, just enter the building as the finals start, complete them, and forget about this place for next few months until the next important test happens. Do they pass? barely…

Does he look like he cares? Exactly. Hanma doesn’t find anything exciting in the idea of studying, learning from some extremely fucking boring books, so why would he even try? Why would he even attend school? I mean, there are times where he is seen on the school grounds, don’t get me wrong, but it’s always ‘cause he wants to kick somebody’s ass, educational purposes not detected.

Kisaki is a genius. Perfect grades – no studying involved. Sly motherfucker.

[actualbird]

good day po fave online kuya kong si kuya zak 🫶🏽🫶🏽

feel free to delete this from ur inbox if u don wanna answer i genyuweenly won't mind <33 pero how did u decide on a senior high school?? a strand?? A COLLEGE???? a career too doot doot doot

idk school and the future has been stressing me out :pain: also any debate tips cause in my head ur a very good speaker...... my first debate is graded so it's taking a toll on my grp 😓😓😓😓 AND labag sa kalooban namen ung topic AHAHHAHAHHA so namamlastik lang kami

thank u sm ule kuya kahit na idelete mo to, typing it out made me calmer ng onti seryoso ueuueue

>hopefully friendly neighborhood (marikenyo) grade 10 student

ps; ur luke cos is so cos goals the luke stan in me is screaming crying cause im curious if im taller than u /j im only 5'2" lawl UR WIG IS SO NICE TOO LIKE GENUINELY !!!! the styling is mwa chefs kiss

hi hi anon!! omg first off can i just say i got a nice boost of happy chemical from being called kuya zak like,,,,oh das me :'D

and it's alright, i dont mind this at all!! i really understand how the future can be stressful huhu, especially when ur in high school, so helping out in any way wld be my pleasure

i'll go thru this one by one (and under a readmore) cuz it seems uve been following here for a while so siguro by this point, siguro alam mo na na madaldal ako esp sa mga ask responses JHVKAJHSFVJKAHS

how did i decide a senior high school strand/college degree/career?:

unfortunately, i cannot help on on the High School Strand kasi 'di ko naabutan yung strand system in high school VSJHFVKSJDHGSD. my batch graduated right when they started doing strands, so i never got to experience it, huhu, nor do i understand the process (even after my younger sibling has tried many times to explain it to me, minsan bobo ako jVKJSHF)

but maybe my next stuffs can help out :D

in choosing a college course i.....really kinda just picked what i wanted to do. and this was a huge privilege i'll always be grateful to my family for, whatever i wanted to study, they'd support me. the courses i applied for in diff schools were the following, in order of first to last choice: Creative Writing, English/Comparative Literature, and BA Psychology (tho disclaimer: i only put this last one on application forms cuz it was needed, i didnt actually want to study that very much HAHA, it was writing or lit for me all the way)

on why i wanted those courses is....idk it's another thing that i think is also a privilege. ive always known that ive wanted to write, to study writing, and to pursue it later on. ive been writing and reading ever since i was a kid and i was pretty deadset on it from an early age.

i know that a lot of people dont have a similar experience tho sometimes, but i guess my advice for how to pick a college course is: what can you see yourself enjoying learning more and more and more about?

ofc, this gets a bit more complicated if ur family is strict and will only allow u to take certain degrees huhu. but if uve got the freedom to choose, i'd say dont just think about what you like, but what you'd like to learn about.

cuz college is work. it's a LOT of work. and while liking something can help, that Like can fall flat when youve gotta be doing all the requirements. it helps if, whatever u choose, it's something uve got a craving for knowledge for.

and honestly, if you dont know what to get or if you choose something and realize it isnt for you, thats okay too! you can shift courses in college! or if you want to learn more, you can take a minor degree! sometimes your first choice wont work, and thats okay. you can choose again and see what fits.

how i chose my career was a bit different from this cuz....the ph job market is in shambles JHVASFVASKJFHASVKFJAH

i currently work as a copywriter and despite the stresses, i really enjoy my job! but this wasnt my first job (my first job fucking sucked so bad that i resigned within a month) and i didnt land it straight out of college (i was out of college for over a year before landing my current gig). i got lucky with my current job, bc when it comes to careers, it's a lot harder to have a choice.

of course, all the jobs i was looking into were writing related: content writer, SEO writer, scriptwriter, etc etc. but theres a lot of companies out there that treat writers like absolute shit, a lot of companies who wont get back to you after an interview, a lot of companies who wont take you. i didnt choose my career so much as get lucky in the job market gacha (lol), but my advice here is that like...search within the industries you think you'd, at best, enjoy working in or, at minimum, can endure being in

which is a very depressing statement, i know.....life is tough, but there are good jobs out there with ppl who wont treat u like crud. if i got lucky, i can only hope more ppl can get this kind of experience too

and like i said in the college bit, if u find urself in a job u dont vibe with and u have the privilege/stability to be able to quit it:.....just quit it

a lot of these life choices are made to be really Big by schools and teachers and everybody really, but you dont have to get it right the first time. you can start over, it's alright, youve got your whole life ahead of you. if your life allows u the privilege and freedom to choose and discover new things, dont hold yourself back

i hope this could help somehow. i realize that a lot of this is medj philosophical jHVJHSFKJSD but back when i was in college, i wish somebody told me that it's not the end of the world if i didnt get it right the first time. so thats what i'll tell you, cuz it's true :'D

and as for debate tips HAHA, okay heres where i can give some more concrete advice because i LOVE DEBATING. I LOVE PUBLIC SPEAKING AND PRESENTING OMG OMG. it's a dream come true for me, people HAVE to listen to what ive got to say, it's a huge power trip JVSKJHFVAJS

ANYWAY, DEBATE TIPS:

i am so sorry that the topic that got assign to u and ur grp isnt something u like huhu. but my overall tip for debate (and any public speaking tbh) is. fake it

like, legit, just fake it. the delivery portion of debate, to me, is basically theatre and acting HVKJHVFKJAHFAS

imagine the most confident speaker uve ever seen urself, maybe somebody so confident na nainis ka sa kaniya, and do exactly that:

get that good posture, make motions with your hands because this helps get people's attention. if eye contact makes u nervous (it makes me so nervous huhu) u can blur/unfocus ur eyes, U Do Not See It

maintain a good rhythm with your speaking too. speak with moderate loudness and emphases for the less important, and then idiin mo in the bits na gusto mo parang mic drop moment ahfjshfa (which is usually saved best for the latter portion of an argument, but good to pepper it in as well thru the whole thing with ur most important pieces of info)

tho ofc thats all only on the public speaking bit. if im remembering correctly, high school debate does also rely heavily on the research/outline stuffs u have to do prior to the debate, and for that, i have less advice huhu. im not all that great of a researcher, but as long as uve got ur reputable sources all arranged well, oks na yan!

i feel like at this point i shld tell u that in high school, medj patapon ako na estudyante, basta pumasa ako, ok na yan sakin JHVJSHFVKDSJHFKS

that being said, pls take all my advice w a grain of salt, ha! because what works for me might not work for you. everybodys got different methods of speaking, researching, choosing degrees and careers. but even if what i said doesnt match what wld work for u, i hope ur main takeaway na lang is that u can do whatever u want in whichever way works best for you

anyway, thats all ive got to say for now! i hope smthng here could be of use and that you have a great week, anon :'D

(P.S. WAAHH, THANK U FOR UR KIND WORDS ON MY LUKE COSPLAY :DDD!! i got the wig secondhand for a steal price HAHA and......yes, you are taller than me, im 5'1" JHVJSHDFVKSDJHFVDSKJHFDSKJJKHVKJH)

[seijohsbabe]

Necking

Ship: Bully!A.Miya x Reader

Tw: smut, nicknames, kinda Exhibitionism, humiliation, swear words, degradation, bullying, noncon

Wordcount: 2,5k

a/n: Please im craving for feedback or some love, I’m so sensitive rn lmao, need some confirmation that my stuff what I write is good for you guys <3

When they said high school was going to be a great time, it was a huge lie. It was hell. It wasn't the school stress, your grades were good, but there was someone in your class who kept an eye on you for no reason. Unfortunately not as you would have hoped, but the complete opposite. Atsumu Miya, pro athlete volleyball player. When you started school two years ago, you were seated right next to him. He looked nice, with his nice lazy grin, and his perfectly styled hair. But at some point evil emerged from behind this facade.

It started very small. Your things were broken, your locker was broken open, and things in there were stolen or destroyed as well. You didn't know who it was, but it wasn't a great feeling. But the whole thing really started in your second year. Right on your first day, Atsumu spilled hot coffee on your blouse. Of course, you thought it was accidental, happens to everyone. But as Atsumu became more and more aggressive with his actions, you slowly became suspect. He started to pull your hair as you walked by, put one leg in the middle of the hallway so that you flew in the middle of the floor, your skirt slipped up slightly and your books scattered all over the aisle, while Atsumu and the rest of the group just kept going. At some point, you turned to a tutor, but he denied everything.

,,Atsumu our professional volleyball player? No way“ Your parents don't let you change schools anymore, it would be too much effort, it's only 1 1/2 years left.

And so your judgment was made, another 1 1/2 years of hell with Atsumu Miya.

Half a year later, at the beginning of the last school year at this school, he exceeded all limits. He was getting more and more touchy with you.

You still sat next to him and it didn't make it any easier. In the middle of class, his long, strong hands grabbed your thighs to get higher and higher. Your hands clapped against his in protest, but he didn't mind, on the contrary, while the teacher turned around and you two sat in the back row anyway, he put your hair back so that your neck was free to attack it with his mouth, to make a big red mark.

"Now everybody can see what a slut you are." He only whispered before he wrote something for the class, which the teacher dictated without even give you a second glance.

He didn't stop with anything until today. Instead, he did even more to make your life hell. You didn't know why, and why exactly you, but unfortunately you got used to it. Falling down, the tease in class, hurting you in any way, no matter whether emotionally or physically. Today it was that time again, history and Atsumu was next to you again. He came into class with his smug grin as always, every girl turned around, but he didn't pay any attention to any of them, instead, he looked straight at you. The other girls followed his gaze to give you a dark look, but that left you cold. Only Atsumu was able to scare you. You never knew what he was up to today, what he had new on the reservation, the last time it was a volleyball that was wrongly set in your face, while you only wanted to get a message to one of his team colleagues, another time he had spilled juice over your perfect notes for class. In front of the teacher, he apologized to you several times, but you saw his big grin after the teacher turned again and the class continued. It was a vicious circle that you could never escape.

So when the lesson took its course and everything was going well so far, it wasn't long before you felt his hands on your thighs again. He only wandered up to your skirt hem and down again, but this time he even went under what your eyes read wide. He wouldn't? His face stayed calm and focused, he even nodded sometimes, but his fingers slowly pushed your panties to the side to slide his finger through your slit. It made you gasp and press your thighs together. But he just pinched you, and a small, "Let them open."

You didn't want to push him to go any further, thinking how should you push him further? He was just passing one of the last borders. His fingers ran repeatedly through your cunt, while you had to bite your hand in order not to get too loud. "Oh you Lil slut, I know you want it." He whispered softly and deliberately. But you couldn't answer at the moment, luckily the hand was still buried in your mouth while he suddenly sank 2 fingers into you. This time you couldn't help but moan softly.

,,Y/n? everything okay?“ the teacher asked.

,,Y-yes, I'm just tired." Fortunately, the teacher didn't notice anything from the hand under your skirt, but this left Atsumu unimpressed and got faster and faster with his pace, while he watched you briefly with an amused grin that you have to groan loudly, but it wasn't going to end well, so you clench your teeth and try to think of something else.

He hissed in anger that you were taking it so far. So when he tilted his fingers a little and hit your point, you groaned. It was unexpected that he hit that spot. With an evil grin, he looked over at you, his fingers now taken back.

,,Y/n, I think you should maybe breathe some fresh air don't you think? Atsumu Kun, please stay with her.“ Your teacher spoke again.

If he came with you now, what would he do to you?

,,No it's okay I can go on my-" you tried to talk yourself out of it, but a certain someone had to talk over you, of course. "Oh no y/n, you will fall over afterward, you're already so pale, come on.“

And with that, he pulled you out of the classroom followed by several strange looks from the students and the teacher.

He pulled you by your upper arm as you stumbled behind him. You dared not speak, too afraid that he might come up with a stupid idea. Nobody was in the hallway, everyone was in their class. Your steps could be heard in the whole corridor, until he suddenly stopped in front of a door and you slammed in his back. Your eyes examined the door before you were dragged in. It was the boy's toilet you were dragged into.

He pulled you into one of the cabins to lock it behind you with one click. Then he pressed you firmly against the door, holding you completely captive with his size, with no way out. He looked down at you, with an omniscient grin. He had something bad on his mind and you just hoped that you would still live after that. Of course, he noticed your fear and clicked his tongue a few times while he shook his head thoughtfully.

"Oh my little y/n-chan, don't be afraid, I'm gonna show ya something real‘ good. Believe me, you'll like it."

But you didn't like a thing he did, so you just looked up at him suspiciously. His blond hair fell slightly on his face, his brown eyes glistened at you. Slowly his hands sank down to get under your skirt. This time your hands pressed onto his well-trained chest while he clasped your cunt.

"Still so wet for me, my lil slut hmm?" Your head shook, but he just grinned wider.

"Oh you will see, later you'll be begging for my cock." With these words, he tore your blouse open and then tossed it on the floor next to you. His gaze wandered over your body, back up to your eyes. You just stood there, looking at him, no clue of what to do. He moved quickly to take off his uniform to show his muscles that smelled of strength. He leans down to stop just in front of your face. One hand leaned against the door the other brushed through your hair. You looked at him dreamily, you were just too much in thoughts of what to do when he caught your lips with his lips. It caught you by surprise, with widening eyes. You already had your first kiss, but this one was nothing compared to this one.

Atsumu was dominant, demanding, and quick. He thrust his tongue into your mouth to exude even more dominance. Until it went down and down, leaving a trail of spit until it met your collarbone, to stop there and suck onto the skin. Your hands found themselves in his hair again, pulled tight, which made him grunt. After a while, he broke away to look at his work of art from afar. He looked satisfied, and ran his thumb over it until he stared into your eyes again.

In a short time, his hands were back on his shoulders to push you down with force. You couldn't fight it and let yourself fall with your knees on the floor. It made you wince, the stabbing pain went through your whole body. His hands were now on his pants to slowly open them to let them and his underpants in one moment fall. His cock jumped against you. It pulsed. The tip was already leaking pre-cum. The size alone made you swallow. He just laughed down at you while he saw your amazed face. His hands were now in your hair to twist them around and have a closer grip on you.

"Suck" he directed you with your lips to his penis. "I don't think I-" and again he interrupted you, "Oh you can baby, and you will, now suck." He said with an annoyed tone. Your hands clasped his penis. They just fit drum. You started with little kitten licks along the tip and the length, but that wasn't enough for him. He pulled your hair to make you look up. "Take it in your dirty mouth you slut."

You just nodded, to look at its length one time again. Your mouth opened slowly to lie over the first few centimeters, but Atsumu was impatient, rolled his eyes, and directed your head down. Quickly his tip tapped against your throat and you had to gag, but there were still a few centimeters left. His hand in your hair, the strong grip made you wince while he guides your head up and down at an even faster pace. Your gagging noises echoed in the whole boys toilet, your spit ran out of your mouth down on your chin.

His other hand leaned above you on the door, his head hanging down, eyes closed. "Fuck- just like that baby." He groaned while his rhythm slowly decreased. Your eyes watered, and tears ran down your face.

Suddenly he pulled you away from his cock, and looked at your weeping face, spit ran down your face mixed with your tears.

"Look at you, already so fucked out." He laughed more to himself. Then he tugged you up on your hair, your scalp burned. When you were on your feet again, he finally let go of it. He suddenly turned you around and pressed your face to the door. Your cheek squeezed against the hard material as Atsumu tore your panties under your skirt. "I needed them!" you whined to him.

"Not anymore." He lifted your skirt slightly to collect your wetness again with one finger.

He took it with relish in his mouth as if he were trying the most delicious chocolate in the world. With a "pop" he let it slide out of his mouth, and groaned at your taste.

"You know y/n-Chan, I've always dreamed about that right here, and finally I can do it in real, it's just fuck- so much better than I imagined."

Your hands pressed against the wall of the cabin, which was getting hotter and hotter as you tried to see what he was going to do. However, when you felt his cock stroking along your entrance, the panic came up.

,,Please Atsumu! Dont do this please!“

But before you could continue, he buried himself in you with a jolt. To be filled with the stabbing pain all at once was not exactly pleasant. Especially with his size it was not really easy to accept the whole thing that fast. But he didn't even give you time for that, as he began to pounding right inside you while his hands were on your hips. Now you had to let out a moan too.

Although it burned, the feeling of being completely filled was so pleasant. So lapsed in lust you didn't notice at first that he hit you on your butt. Only when he hit it a second time you had to let out a small cry. "You like that don’t you? My lil cumslut. Fuck your sucking me in, so g-gready for my cock huh?“

And with the constant pace and one more hit on your butt, the knot of lust burst and you saw stars. You were afraid your legs were going to give up so much they wobbled. Your moans echoed trough the whole boys toilet, maybe even on the hall.

Worst of all, Atsumu kept his tremendous pace. The overstimulation was too much for you to make you cry. But he just grinned as always and gripped your hips even tighter.

Out of nowhere, he turned you around to pick you up by your thighs and push you against the cabin door. The door rattled loudly, you were almost afraid it would fall apart.

He picked up his lost pace again while your senses are completely out of order. All you felt was his length in you. The tip kissed your point with every thrust. Your hands, which were still just on his shoulders, were now holding on to his neck to pull him closer and press his lips tightly onto yours. You needed something to hold on.

The pace slowed down for a moment, because he was probably surprised, but didn't let himself be confused for long until he hammered into you again. You both moan into the kiss until Atsumu broke up and took you one more time into consideration. Your eyes rolled back, your tongue peeked out a little, and your hands went up to pull on his hair. "Aw come on, another one, you can do it." You just cried towards him, the pleasure overwhelmed you completely.

The knot got bigger as Atsumu put pressure on your clitoris while he penetrated your point further. „Fuck, im cumming! Come on, come with me baby.“ He groaned head back in his neck. Your legs clasped him tightly while the pressure rose again and everything is twice as sensitive as before. ,,I-I, too much Atsumu-" you've mumbled. And with his last final snap you cummed together. He shot his semen into you, white long strings painted your walls white while you were trembling. He groaned with you together until he let go of your legs and let you sit on the floor.

As he dressed again like nothing happened, he looked at your trembling figure, completely fucked out, cum dribbling out of you. He stuck a finger in your cunt to push the cum back in, and took your chin between his fingers to make you look him in the face. "Better not to waste any of my present, you dumb Lil’ bitch alright?" And with that he walked out of the cabin even hummed a little song while you were completely out of your mind on the floor, trembling.

[gaysimpsstuff]

Fatgum As a Dad

This was inspired by a conversation I had on a discord server, we all have daddy issues and want Fatgum to adopt us so here’s all the shit we collected.

There are some serious themes in here, mostly regarding the biological parents of the kid, but it’s vague as possible. If anyone wants me to add a trigger warning please let me know.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It all started when he was a kid, when he learned what an orphanage was. One of the kids in his class mentioned being from one, so when he got home he asked his parents about it. 

“Mom, what’s an orphanage?”

“Well, Taishiro, it’s where children that don’t have parents go. Then people can come and adopt the children. Why do you ask.”

“A kid at school said he’s from one, when d’you think he’s gonna get adopted?”

“He might, not all children get adopted. Some of them stay in the orphanage until they’re adults.”

“BUT THAT’S NOT FAIR!” he shouted. “EVERYONE DESERVES A HAPPY CHILDHOOD!”

“Well, honey, life’s not fair. And not everyone gets a happy life. It’s how most villains are made, actually. They were hurt more than everyone else and couldn’t handle it anymore. Not all villains are like that but many are. I think you should stay away from that kid, Taishiro. He might turn out a villain.”

But he didn’t stay away. And he made it his mission to become a pro hero so he could make a ton of money and help as many people as he could. He’d help even villains, keep them from doing something dangerous and inspire hope in them.

Then, he’d adopt any kid who needed a father. All the orphanages and foster programs would be empty. Homeless children off the street and in his house, being fed and clothed. He’d care for each and every one of them, not wanting a single person to feel like they didn’t belong. 

He finds most of his kids at pride parades. He walks around with a shirt that says ‘FREE DAD HUGS’ and a box full of candy. He remembered one of the kids walking up to him slowly.

“Um.. are you Fatgum?” 

“Yes I am!”

“Can I have a hug?”

“Yes you can, Kiddo!” he got down, and the kid put his arms on his stomach (Fatgum’s too big for anyone to fully hug, the dude’s taller than Allmight!) he wrapped his arms around the kid before he heard sniffles. He looked down and saw that the kid was crying.

“M-my parents never hug me like this!” they exclaimed. “They haven’t since I came out. They want to kick me out when I turn thirteen!” 

“Can I have their number? I’m going to... talk to them.”

He ended up taking the kid’s family to court, and since the parents were going to just kick the kid out anyways, they let Fatgum adopt them, but they kept nagging him about how he was ‘going to be raising a little demon.’

“Then call me Lucifer.” he spat right back. Now, that kid’s grown up, has pride flags all around their walls, and doesn’t ever doubt that they’re loved.

Fatgum probably bakes with his kids. Helping them up onto the counter to mix ingredients and play with the dough. If they mess something up or break a glass, it’s fine. He doesn’t yell at them or sigh and shake his head, he just kissed the kid on the forehead and helps them clean up the mess. 

The food always turns out amazing, and Fatgum always tells the kids that. All of his kids are now Gordon Ramsay level chefs and have probably met Gordon Ramsay. 

No matter what their body type is, Fatgum tells his kids their handsome/beautiful and are model worthy. If anyone comments of one of his kid’s body, whether it be negative or... ‘positive’ in a creepy way, you can expect that they’re getting slammed into the ground. No questions asked.

One of Fatgum’s kids is really good at make-up. Like, really good. So Fatgum did the only thing a rational father would do. 

Ask for a make-up job.

It didn’t end all that well...

“Hold still.. I gotta get the eyeliner on.”

“Gosh, Kiddo it’s making my eyes water.” 

“I know, just hold still... aaaand...... done! Now don’t touch it or it’ll smear!”

“Wow, that looks great! You’re really good at this!”

“Thanks, dad- you smeared it already didn’t you?”

“....Nope.”

Fatgum: I'm not gonna do it, it just seemed like a good option. 

Fatgum not even two seconds later after seeing a trans kid crying: now carrying said child on his shoulders while his spouse is chuckling in a corner after signing adoption papers I did it.

This man would get his kids almost anything they wanted. Especially kids with ADD/ADHD/Autism/Tourettes/Anxiety who need stim toys.

Kid: chewing on their nails.

Fatgum: here take this stim toy, and this one, you chew this one so that might help-

Kid ends up with more stim toys than they can count.

Fatgum: just doing his job 

The Daddy Issues Gang: Hi dad- oh shit wait- Hi- I- fuck- trauma ensues. crying

Fatgum: grabs the daddy issues gang we're going to the nearest courtroom say hello to your new father its me im the father ok lets go.

Kid: um, dad can I talk to you? 

 Fatgum, turning around quickly: yes? 

 Me: ‘he moved so quick, he's mad at me, I'm gonna get yelled at’ Sorry, sorry! 

Fatgum: uh, no. I'm getting you ice cream and a new stuffed animal no questions asked

He'd just know when something's wrong, and he’d be great at comforting.

His usual style of comfort is to let the kid sit on his stomach and tell him what’s wrong. His body is one giant pillow for his kids to lay on, he can fit at least eight of them if they cuddle in closely.

Once filmed a commercial dressed as the Cool-Aid man, and all of his kids were in the commercial.

Fatgum: Busts down wall  “OH YEAH!”

Director: “And CUT! Okay, try a little more aggressive-”

Fatgum, in tears: “I don’t wanna scare my kids.”

As stated before, if anyone makes his kids feel bad he’s punching them to the ground, but sometimes he’s not in a position where he can do that. Like if a Karen mom ever comes over.

"Linda stop bringing lemon squares if you're going to talk about my son that way because they're just as sour as your attitude."

Fatgum but he slaps the toxic members of your family and tells them to do better or he's taking you.

Then takes you anyway because you prefer him.

Fatgum with a sweater that says ‘mr dad guy on it’

Fatgum definitely watches ATLA, and quotes Uncle Iroh daily. When his kids are minding their own business they suddenly hear

“Leaves from the vine... falling so slow...” 

INAUDIBLE CHAOS AND PANIC

Fatgum agency cosplayed ATLA characters on Halloween.

Fatgum was Iroh.

Kirishima was Sokka.

Tamaki was either Momo or Appa.

Maybe get a couple others in on it too, Mirio could be Aang and if Kirishima convinces Todoroki to join for a while he’d totally be Zuko.

Fatgum lets his kids squish his face.

Fatgum used to work with a hero who was hard of hearing, so he learned sign language to help them, and he’s got the skill saved in case one of his kids might be deaf.

So one day, Kirishima invites Bakugou on patrol with him, and we all love that headcanon of Bakugou going deaf, so when he gets pissed at something, he starts insulting everyone around him in SL.

Fatgum notices and starts signing back to him.

YOU’RE ALL MOTHERFUCKERS AND I HATE YOU ALL!

Hey, now, let’s calm down and not call everyone motherfuckers.

FUCK YOU TOO

Bakugou...

Everyone thinks that they’re doing magic, because they’re making all these shapes with their hands and keep looking offended at each other.

Now, Fatgum tries his gosh darn hardest to keep up with the memes, so when his kids come home with good grades, he says “That’s so pog, Kiddo!”

All of his kids are embarrassed.

In the middle of a battle, he throws Kirishima at a villain and they both scream “YEET!” the villain afterwords forever lives in fear of the word ‘yeet’ because he thinks it’ll result in a human rock being thrown at his face.

Fatgum can’t text very well, because his fingers are just too damn big-

sonhsisntextsblooklikehthis'

Translation: so his texts look like this

you learn to understand his texts

Someone better get him a large tablet instead of a phone

If he gets married after he adopts the kids, there’s going to be a huge competition over who does the rings and who does the flowers etc.

If any of his kid’s ever bring home a romantic partner, you can bet your ass he’ll be all over them.

“What’s your average grade?”

“E-eighty percent sir!”

“And do you take sports?”

“No sir, I wish to be a biologist.”

“I see, I see...”

“DAD, YOU AREN”T INTERVIEWING MY PARTNER, ARE YOU? YOU SCARED OFF THE LAST THREE I DON’T WANNA DEAL WITH THAT AGAIN!”

“SORRY, KIDDO! I’LL LET THEM GO NOW! I’ve got my fucking eyes on you. Don’t screw this up.”

Hope y’all enjoy this, if y’all want I can write some headcanons for if Fatgum’s kid becomes a villain-

[heartachebf]

@songofassandfire said: Okay uhhh maybe after the broship breakup in the vaccination special, Kenny gets fed up and exhausted with being sort of passed around between his friends, and ends up finding comfort in butters? Sorry if that’s too vague mgddngdng

i hope u like it, dude! not my best work, but im pretty satisfied with this :) i wrote this with them as teenagers in mind because, well, i write what i know most of the time, and i remember being in high school better than i remember being in fourth grade jhfdajk

im still taking short bunny, creek, or style drabble requests to help me get back into writing! feel free to send any requests youve got in mind here <3 now, onto the ficlet !

while butters is doing homework in his room, on his belly on his bed with his chin resting in his palm, he gets a sudden notification on his phone, a loud buzz startling him out of his homework induced reverie. he frowns at the distraction from the math problem he was struggling through, though he is partially grateful to have an excuse to look away from all the angry numbers and letters on his paper. he sits up, grabs his phone, and unlocks it eagerly.

from: ken ♥ hey can i come over for a bit? i need to get away from my friends lol

butters frowns at the message, types out a quick response of sure, i’m up in my room, before returning to laying on his stomach and staring at his homework, as if looking at it hard enough will magically solve all of the problems for him. he quickly finds himself drifting off, though, thinking about his boyfriend’s current predicament with their mutual friends. he doesn’t know much about the whole issue with them - he only knows bits and pieces from what kenny has been willing to divulge during their nightly phone calls, but from what he does know, it sounds messy. he knows that kenny’s three friends have split up for reasons unknown to him, and have thus taken to toting kenny between them like a divorced couple slinging a child between them. butters grimaces. it must be a nightmare to be treated like that.

while he’s lost in his thoughts, he’s suddenly shocked by a body bouncing on his bed next to him. butters is just about to scream when a familiar, calloused hand is shoved over his mouth. he finally looks up to see who’s in his bedroom, smiling wide under the palm on his mouth when he sees his boyfriend. kenny smiles wide back at him, his normal crooked and charming smile making butters feel warm and gooey inside.

as soon as kenny moves his hand, butters leaps up, throwing his arms around kenny’s neck. “hi, ken!” butters says eagerly, smiling even bigger when he feels kenny’s strong arms loop around his waist.

“hi, buttercup!” kenny responds, trying to sound just as eager, but it’s clear to butters just how exhausted he is.

butters pulls away a bit so he can look at kenny’s face now, taking in his tired expression with a frown. “what’s going on, cupcake?” he asks, gently brushing kenny’s messy bangs out of his face.

kenny lets out a long suffering sigh, leaning into butters’s hands. “my friends are driving me insane. i’m so sick of them treating me like their kid. as if i’m not as mature as the rest of them. y’know, i might even be more mature than them.”

butters nods understandingly, moving to sit cross legged next to kenny. “i know what you mean, honey. have you tried talking to them about how you feel about the arrangement lately?”

kenny groans, leaning forward to plop his head on butters’s shoulder. “i keep trying to talk to them, but every time i bring up the situation to any of them, they immediately just shut down and try and change the subject. i think i almost got stan to crack and listen to me once, but they’re all just.. ugh. i’m so close to just dropping all three of them until they all get their shit together.”

butters nods along as kenny speaks, gently running his fingers through his boyfriend’s sandy curls. “i think you should,” butters says softly, encouragingly. “maybe what they need is for you to leave them in order to kick their butts into gear! they’re bein’ pretty dumb with this whole thing, i think.”

“god, tell me about it!” kenny says, laughing bitterly. he reaches up to rub at his face tiredly. “they’re such dumbasses.”

butters laughs softly and nods in agreement. “definitely. i think they just need a little push to realize that they’re, like... you guys are like platonic soulmates! i think, um, taking a break from each other is good for them, but they’re going about it the wrong way.”

kenny huffs out a breath and nods before pulling away to look at butters. “how’d you get to be so smart, babe?”

butters lets out a small noise of surprise. “who, me?”

kenny laughs and nods, smiling wide before leaning forward to kiss butters softly. “yes, you! i never really thought of us as soulmates before, but that makes a ton of sense. i’m gonna tell ‘em to piss off until they get their shit together, i’m sick of being toted around like a little kid!”

butters smiles wide and toothy, gently cupping kenny’s face in his hands. “that’s a buddy! i think it’ll be really good for you to get away from them, cupcake!”

kenny smiles just as wide back, leaning in to kiss him softly again. “me too, babe. it’ll be fun to hang out with other people for once. maybe i’ll get into less chaos without those guys around.”

butters giggles and nods, reaching to grab kenny’s hands and squeezing them lightly. “yeah! i’ve been sitting with craig and his friends lately, you should join us! they’re a lotta fun, and they don’t start as much drama.”

“god knows i could use some of the peace that they bring,” kenny says, interlocking his fingers with butters’s, squeezing his hands mindlessly.

“feel a little better now?” butters asks after a moment, tilting his head. when kenny nods, he continues, “great! now, how about you help me with my math homework? algebra always makes my head spin...”

[oldyears]

hello sorry for such bothersome asks, pls dont feel obligated to answer! i was just wondering if u were filipino? i saw that u were southeast asian on ur about page hehe that is why. and can i also ask what level you are in in college? im still pondering whether i would go to film or creative writing, and would love to know ur input

it’s okay!! yes i’m filipino and studying in the ph hehe i’m currently in my third year of college so i guess i do have some thoughts i can share with you regarding your dilemma. i don’t know your situation and other stuff factoring into your decision, but what i can say is that creative writing is geared more towards the craft of writing and studying how the different writing genres exist in the philippines and their development throughout the years. in the uni i’m attending (just take a guess lol there are only three schools in the metro that offer cw as an undergrad) we’re required to take four different genres (fiction, nonfic, playwriting, and poetry) before being made to choose a concentration by second semester of sophomore year. you also have to take into account that all your works will be workshopped and you will have to take arts classes (again, in the case of my uni because cw is under fine arts) alongside your workshop writing classes. i can’t speak for other universities since students under the creative writing program in those places have a different curriculum but what i’ve learned so far in this program is that cw is difficult at times because there’s just. so much writing. you know this before even entering the program but the sheer amount of writing you’re required to do is just so ??? sometimes HAHAHAH sorry you caught me at a bit of a bad time it’s almost finals week and right now i am just :) not full of love for university but if you have any other questions feel free to send them in! overall tho cw is great if you love writing and are willing to improve yourself as a writer! you don’t have to be a graduate of creative writing to be a writer, but getting into the degree program does give you an edge against other budding writers because you’re mentored by seasoned writers (palanca awardees and judges, if that’s a factor for you) so you know what can work and what doesn’t work based on the writing trends. one downside tho (among many others, all involving employment after grad) is that these sorts of programs sort of follow a certain bias because there needs to be a standard set to grade students and that’s like. difficult w all creative endeavors but so far my profs have been really open to different writing styles and perspectives so it’s all been okay for me!

[smalltragedy]

* natalia dyer, nonbinary + she/they | you know philomena carmichael, right? they’re twenty, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, a day? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to the leanover by life without buildings like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole wind whipping around your hair, the gentleness of decomposition, a naked blur dancing around the flames of an everlasting fire thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is april 20th, so they’re a taurus, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( james, 22, est, they/them )

hi thank u all fr being so patient w me as i rapidly switch out muses n figure out wht the fuck im doing atm <3 also sry fr my rare presence work hs been kicking my ass like lets jst say i deserve 2 b smbdy’s housewife (misogny wins this time sry) so i nvr hv to work in my life <3 DFSLKSDHKGLFSHLKAGHLKAHLKSG this is a joke 2 clarify. anyways. this is philly she’s old bt she’s one of my very favorites ever. this intro is also old sry its nt in my usual. style. LKDFKHGLKGF

CANCER, TRAUMA, DEPERSONALIZATION / DEREALIZATION, DEATH, GRAPHIC MENTION OF DECAY, INSECTS MENTION TW.

mini playlist.

the girl who stole my tamagotchi ;; hot sugar / i dropped out ;; and the kids / pork soda ;; glass animals / wonderfully bizarre ;; bendigo fletcher / (dream) ;; salvia palth / alien blues ;; yundabar / dust in your pocket ;; glass animals / warm honey ;; willow / bela lugosi’s dead ;; bauhaus / gecgecgec ;; 100 gecs / blinding ;; florence and the machine / nantes ;; beirut / cherry-coloured funk ;; cocteau twins / not allowed ;; tv girl / oblivion ;; grimes / space song ;; beach house / dog food ;; 100 gecs / the leanover life ;; life without buildings.

statistics.

full name: philomena brontë carmichael

nickname(s): philly, phil, mena, etc.

birthday: april 20th, 2000. 

zodiac: taurus sun, scorpio moon, aries ascending.

mbti & temperament: infp & improvisor / phlegmatic. 

label: the halycon.

sexuality: demisexual.

pinterest.

biography.

a middle child belonging to christopher and imogen carmichael - two stanford professors. christopher specialized in british literature whilst imogen specialized in the classics. hence the name.

the order of siblings goes as such: lysander, elektra, juno, philomena, and twins orion & valora. the deal was that everybody had a greek (or in juno’s case, roman) first name and a middle name inspired by a piece of british literature circa 1800s and under. a family of nerds, if you will.

so, clearly - right off the bat, their parents are … eccentric. they’re both in love with their respected topic, and with each other, and with their kids. the carmichael family is a happy family.

they each have their own quirks and whatnot - though philly’s always been particularly dreamy - even as a child, she’d spend hours watching clouds or caterpillars or the leaves blow in the wind rather than play with other kids. she wasn’t a shy kid - she just had her own interests.

hardship doesn’t hit the family until philomena is five and starts having splitting headaches. they’re slow at first - but as soon as she’s seeing spots and unable to walk in a straight line, doctor appointments are made.

cancer tw // it doesn’t take long for them to discover the tumor, though the official diagnosis of malignant ependymoma comes a month later.

it’s grade ii but slow-moving, small enough to not be as much of a threat as worried, but big enough where removal is necessary. philomena earns a scar and brings it in for show-and-tell. for two months afterwards, philly’s at radiotherapy monday through friday.

they’re lucky - philomena’s considered cancer-free by the next year. she’s babied at first - handled delicately, as if she could break if touched - but with five other children … it doesn’t last for too long. end of cancer tw //

and life continues as normal.

her personality doesn’t shift much over the next few years - she’s awfully independent for a kid, and awfully quiet - when she speaks it’s about faeries and bigfoot, about how the sky is so blue and if you listen quietly, you can hear the leaves whisper their secrets to each other. this is not odd.

she’s close to all her siblings, but she idolizes her older sister - elektra. elektra’s six years older and dyes her hair whatever colors she wants. elektra bought a knife off a seedy guy downtown. elektra threw away all of her heels and renounced god. elektra is god. her music is loud but it’s not heavy - it’s florence and the machine.

they’re opposites - elektra’s boisterous and feels loudly, philomena’s softer and feels…less. when elektra sneaks out, philomena keeps watch. they are a duo.

philomena is smart - but she’s fifteen and hates school. hates sitting inside all day. hates the same routine - day after day - it’s all the same. her parents’ routine is the same, philly feels contained and she wants to live.

elektra’s twenty-one and just bought a brand new spanking (used but not falling apart) 19-something volkswagen … van - using her entire savings account. she says she’s tired of routine, she’s leaving the next day.

naturally, philomena stows away in the back and isn’t discovered until they’re two states away and she’s got to pee. elektra nearly crashes the van in shock.

it’s an argument - philomena vs. elektra, then them vs. their parents, then their parents vs. the school, the state - it’s an ordeal. philomena switches to an online program in the end.

it hurts christopher and imogen - lysander’s not having any of their nonsense, juno’s betrayed and alone - the twins are twins. in the end, it’s alright. the carmichael family is a happy family.

philomena and elektra take their time - it’s not a road trip, it’s their new life, permanently on the road. they stop and explore often - they do odd jobs in whatever town they settle in. they dine-n-dash, they shoplift. they survive in their own way.

during particularly desperate times, they two resorted to identity theft & credit fraud - getting away with it only by ditching the cards once they’ve made it out of state.

she drops out of high school officially when she’s seventeen - they have to drive all the way back to california to deal with the wrath of their parents and to deal with paperwork, but it’s done. philomena doesn’t know what path she wants in life - but it’s not that.

depersonalization / derealization tw // it’s during this time that the episodes occur - philomena’s outside her body, philomena’s wrapped in cotton, her memories are not her own. she’s looking in the mirror and she doesn’t recognize herself. they take shelter in a city for six months, long enough for her brand spankin’ new therapist to figure out what’s wrong with her. she’s diagnosed with depersonalization / derealization disorder - they think it’s stress. philomena doesn’t get stressed. they think it’s trauma. she laughs - she never laughs. depersonalization / derealization end of tw //

death, decay. maggots tw // there is trauma though, deep-rooted but somewhere inside - you just have to look for it.

you. just. have. to. look. for. it. look for it. look for it. look for it look for it look -

you were ten and she was thirteen, an off-trail hike in familiar woods in a familiar town, safe and familiar. it was your idea, to stray from the carved out paths, down creeks and up hills and round, and round again. you’re the one who spotted the scarf first, sticking up from the dirt and dancing in the wind like the beginning of reincarnation. it was not reincarnation, it was discovery. it was ruin. with curiosity drawn, you skidded down - with compliance, followed juno, followed your sister - clumsy in her steps and tumbling down quicker than you. you saw the corpse, but juno felt it. decaying flesh and maggot. end of death, decay, maggots tw //

and she left juno, just like that - just five years later, when juno had finally gone to the end of her wits. philly up and left. abandoned her.

philomena and elektra leave the city after that therapy session. they do not return. she’s always been good at hiding her secrets.

after ending up with warrants from their arrest in florida (after running from the law in texas), philly and elektra have wound up at irving <3 partially hiding from the law and partially bcos their trusty van’s broken down and they haven’t got the money to fix her up yet. 

personality & facts.

she’s quiet but she’s confident - her voice sounds like rustling leaves, if leaves smoked a pack of cigarettes a day.

often underestimated - philly’s petite and looks like she’d fall over if a plastic bag blew too close to her. she’s independent - for the most part. elektra is the only person philly takes orders from.

has always been considered odd - weird, strange. still talks about the trees as if they’re listening, as if they’re old friends. she’s vague and doesn’t elaborate on the things she says.

believes in pretty much any superstition you throw her way. luck is very important to her. if you ask her if the earth is flat, she’ll say probably. believes strongly in bigfoot and the lochness monster. has personally seen aliens, and loves ghosts almost more than herself.

she can be amusing - whether you ‘get’ her or not, her outlook is often bright - she talks about the negatives the same way she talks about the positives. can be seen as naive or gullible, but she’s plenty smart. even if half of her education has come directly from google.

philly doesn’t laugh. a smile, yes - often, in fact - not always reaching her ears, or bearing teeth - but these are not indicators of her happiness. philly is consistently content. she thinks many things are funny - she still will not laugh.

her voice is often monotonous - she doesn’t sound dreary, she sounds far-away. her voice carries. her emotions are often unknown to others.

is apathetic in most situations. she’s hard to bother - she’s incredibly patient and enjoys the company of most - tolerates them at the very least. it’s hard for her to express her emotions, because she feels them so little that it’s very nearly not worth it. her affection is not verbal - it’s small touches and gestures of kindness, love in her own way.

is a fan of knock-knock jokes and bad puns. she won’t crack a smile while telling you them, nor does she expect you to laugh. she just enjoys them.

she owns a motorola razr covered in puffy stickers - hasn’t ever had a smartphone. she’s a fan of emoticons. her favorite is :o)

has a lot of bruises and scratches and scars - she’s often getting herself into pickles. there are always, at the very minimum, three bandaids on each hand.

she has insomnia, so she’s awake often. is often seen wandering town - even when she shouldn’t be, even when it might be dangerous. her intuition is delayed. when she does sleep - her dreams are vivid and fantastical.

keeps a box of memories - sentimental bits and pieces she’s picked up over the last few years. there are a lot of buttons and postcards, but any teeny tiny object will do.

her style changes every week - most, if not all, of her clothes are thrifted. one week she’s baby spice and the next she’s lydia deetz. she combines pieces from different styles often - she looks like a barbie clothed by a child. she feels most comfortable like this.

will either patch-up the clothes that get too worn or reuse them in some way. sometimes donates the clothes she gets tired off - isn’t minimalistic, but she’s learned to keep only a small amount of possessions.

the only consistency is her lucky ribbon - it’s pastel yellow and silky and as thin as a shoelace. she ties it onto her outfit of the day, everyday. if she loses it, she’s lost. elektra has a matching ribbon.

has no problem with minor theft - she only takes bare minimum, puts herself and elektra first and that’s how it’s always been.

currently living in florence, their van, with her sister elektra <3 currently residing in lilac ridge.

they used to live in motels on the occasion, the cheapest room, and more often than not they’d both go home with strangers for a comfier bed and a hotter shower.

it was a common occurrence - she didn’t sleep with them - but somehow, she weaseled her way into their homes anyway. has come out mostly unscathed, on most occasions. this has been a practice ever since they’ve been on the road.

really, truly - has not slept with anybody, had her first kiss at thirteen with a frog. this doesn’t bother her. (smirks at leo)

will consume anything you put in front of her - isn’t picky.

listens to whatever they’ve picked up along the way but she likes instrumentals the best. her second favorite genre is 1990′s and 2000′s top hits. they’re nostalgic for her. third favorites? florence, of course. fleetwood mac. the bird and the bee.

loves storms - will go out in the rain and will risk her life for it.

owns a pair of roller-skates and is often skating rather than walking. unless she’s on grass - then she’s walking barefoot.

has many hobbies, and gets bored of them often. her favorite hobby is welding. she’s not certified.

also, juggling.

also, accordion.

the kind of girl who’ll do any job you give her. odd jobs are her favorite jobs. babysitting is her least favorite - but she does it anyway. has lost children before. have they ever been found? not by philly.

dyes her hair blonde often and cuts her own hair - bangs included - finds it cathartic, likes the itchiness of bleach.

everything she does is often in pursuit of feeling free, alive, and meaningful.

( like her frequent visits to the woods, late at night when the moon is high and full. it’s freeing to dance around a fire, stark naked in the cold. builds immunity )

comes and goes wherever she pleases, nothing & nobody can stop her (besides elektra).

has a certain knack for getting animals to like her. has too many ‘pet’ rats that reside with her, alongside a baby raccoon & a few crow pals. has a new animal companion everyday, but she doesn’t contain them or force them to stay.

wanted plots.

speaking through my third eye ... ;; philly is new in town n shes very strange. constantly lives in a state in which she does not exist (at least on the same plane). this is her harassing the locals. this is her slipping thru their fingertips as they attempt 2 understand her. they get close smtms bt philly jst. whisks herself away.

hollows of our eyelids ... ;; perhaps there is smbdy jst as strange as philly. i’m out here calling fr all the weirdos. lets be friends. lets hv philly n co go on adventures n discover horrible sites n uncover ancient secrets tht lie deep below irving. mayb nt tht. bt im jst saying. this is fr the dreamers. da weirdos. the jugheads. LHKDSHFSADLKGFHLSKADG fr those who also feel as if they r not real.

bills n aches n blues... ;; ya this is my call fr all negative plots. bills (catching philly be a thief and a fraud), aches (mayb heartache? unrecruited feelings or w/e theyre called?), n blues (ooooh so sad... so sad ... angst ...) obviously i am a genius. i wldnt say tht philly is here 2 make enemies bc philly doesnt care much abt ppl bt perhaps tht cld b an issue. tht she doesnt care much abt others. mayb ur muse is jst like. cn u pls care. n philly is like. i am incapable. sry. sucks.

n also ,, ;; like. anything i’ll. take anything. philly is weird lets come up w surreal plots tht verge on the edge of like. nt being correct fr this verse. suddenly theres vampires? or so they think ... smirks. anyways. shes been 2 jail n been in the circus (shoutout 2 kirby) n dances naked in the woods n hoards animals n treasures. we hv a lot to work with here obv. 

[graffitiskies]

━♡ guess the 26 year old july baby just arrived to dallyeog! it makes sense, because jeon yooseul is just as wild as the month of july. wait, why do they remind me of bae suji? beyond that, they seemed audacious and impartial upon first glance. i heard someone say they’re sort of stormful and brusque though. i hope they get acquainted here in complex #3 / apartment #0722 / floor # 2 ; she seems to have a lot going on with her job as a rideshare driver.

tw: missing persons

hey everyone!!!! ;u; i’m so glad to be joining you at this ungodly hour (it’s literally after 4am here SMH!!) but hey when the muse hits you IT HITS YOU LIKE A CINDERBLOCK and i for one love when i get a weird burst of sudden muse for a new character hehe :> anyways, that character would be jeon yooseul, a somewhat asocial rideshare driver who’s been living at dallyeog for about a year now :0 pretty much all the info i have for her is below, but in case you’d rather not read a big stretch of text all together, here’s some individual page links: x, x & x :)

profile / stats basic

full name - jeon yooseul nickname/s - yoo, yoojwi ( from her aunt due to her quiet nature ) age - twenty six dob - 07/22/1994 gender identity - cis female orientation/s - pansexual / demiromantic blood type - o born - gyeonggi-do, south korea  grew up - pohang, south korea nationality - korean occupation: rideshare driver languages: korean, conversational japanese, very basic english

personality

label - the thunderstorm traits - audacious, stormful, impartial, brusque, enigmatic, aloof aesthetics - long drives with no destination, concealed crying fits, lonely shadow puppets on the wall in the waning sun, wind and raindrops in your hair, smudged lip balm, beat up messenger bags, the jingling of keys, continental drift, being left on read western horoscope - cancer chinese zodiac - dog alignment - chaotic neutral mbti - the logician ( intp-t ) enneagram - the philosopher ( 5w4 ) disc type - the architect ( Dc )

appearance

fc - bae su-ji ( bae suzy ) hair - deep brown and usually worn naturally, with little effort put in. eye color - black build - slender clothing style - simple, aimless - lots of blacks, earth tones and neutrals. owns a few leather jackets. piercings - both ears in multiple places tattoos - a small heart on her left ring finger, a heart topped with a cross on lower part of the back of her neck

familial ties

mother - jeon hyesun ( status unknown ) father - jeon soonil ( status unknown ) siblings - younger brother jeon yoohwan ( 20, currently in university ) aunt - im darae ( 49, living in pohang ) uncle - im jongho ( 52, living in pohang )

biography

yooseul was born in the muggy, oppressive heat of july to two very kind, yet very naive people. they were both young; barely 19 when they had yooseul, and were in no position to take care of a child. however, they still took on the challenge, as it was simply the kind of people they were.

while the pair meant well, they were always leaving yooseul with her aunt and uncle before traipsing off on another adventure. they loved traveling the world doing all kinds of thrilling, but reckless activities. climbing infamous mountain peaks, visiting the sites of active volcanos, boating down the amazon river with scarce supplies. the little girl would overhear pieces of arguments between her aunt & uncle and her parents. yooseul’s aunt and uncle tended to look out for her even more than her parents did, and were adamant that all the traveling was actively harming yooseul’s development. her mother and father remained steadfast that their daughter wouldn’t even remember this stretch of her life, due to how young she was.

when yooseul’s brother was born, everyone was a bit hopeful that yooseul’s parents would slow down with their jet-setting lifestyle, but if anything, it seemed to kick them into high gear. it was as though having a second child made them feel as though the clock were ticking on their lives, and off they were again on another adrenaline rush.

as yooseul grew enough to truly comprehend and lament her parents’ absence, it was only then that they seemed to finally understand the effect they were having. then again, anyone would probably start listening when their young child is on their knees, begging and crying with an intensity of someone’s whose heart was truly breaking. the trips slowed to a crawl and became every once in a while, rather than every other weekend. yooseul grew passive about them by age seven, as they were so infrequent, so when her parents told her they’d be going on a hiking trip to the south korean evergreen forests, she honestly didn’t think much of it.

she hadn’t seen her aunt and uncle in months, and she and her brother could fly kites in their spacious garden. it was a handful of positives, or so yooseul thought. ( tw begins here ) the days stretched on at their house, and it seemed to be taking a bit longer for her parents to return than she’d anticipated. she could tell something may have been wrong by the hushed conversations her aunt and uncle had, coupled with teary phone calls to people that yooseul couldn’t seem to make out.

she learned the truth while eavesdropping on a news story about her parents; apparently they had gone out hiking as planned, but they had never returned back to the hotel they were staying at. several searches had been conducted in the forest, but only scant, inconclusive traces of the couple were found.

as she was just a child, yooseul knew only hope. her parents would come back one day. why wouldn’t they? they’d been hiking before. they knew what they were doing. days turned into months, and optimism turned into doubt. the evergreen forests were so large and covered so much ground - and who knew if they were even still in there?

( end of tw ) her aunt and uncle did what they could for her and her brother, as the two had gained custody of the children due to their frequent care of them. while her brother was able to develop at a relatively normal pace, yooseul withdrew inside of herself for the most part. the hope she had once known had shifted into stinging pessimism. she loved the family she had left of course, but she was terrible at opening up about what she was feeling, and she was so reluctant for people to see any weakness in her. she had to be the strong one, and it was so much easier to be strong when you let emotions roll off your back entirely.

yooseul had difficult focusing on the things that went on around her, especially in school. she never really made socializing a priority, and her grades were abysmal. it was honestly a wonder that she graduated at all, but her aunt and uncle didn’t want her to be without a secondary diploma, so they refused to let her fall back irretrievably far.

trying to enter the workforce was even worse. she’d sworn off university, and all the small trade jobs she got never seemed to last more than a couple of months, mostly due to her lack of interest. she simply drifted from one meaningless wad of money to the next, either saving it up in a jar for goals she didn’t have or slipping it into her aunt’s purse when she’d refuse to take it directly.

having no prospects might have seemed like a downer of a life to live, but yooseul didn’t really think of things in those terms - she was solely focused on existing in whatever moment she was in and doing whatever she wanted to do. after her aunt and uncle surprised her with a fairly nice kia k8 (as they knew it was something she’d never buy for herself), she leaned into late night drives for comfort. there was something about being alone, feeling the wind ruffling through your hair, some mindless song on the radio recorded solely to push false emotions, watching the lines on the road come at you like knives when you push the limits of the car’s engine. it felt free.

after hearing word of a new rideshare app launching from her uncle, yooseul decided to apply to be a driver. she had nothing else going on at the moment, and those late night drives she enjoyed so much could actually make her some money.

she’s been doing it for a few years now and enjoys it as much as yooseul can enjoy something. the social aspect of it can be a bit awkward, so she loves nothing more than when her passenger keeps their face locked on their phone in silence. she’s since moved out of her aunt and uncle’s place and intro her own apartment at dallyeog. she figured it was finally time to move on, as her brother was now entering college and hadn’t really needed any help taking care of for some time now. maybe, deep down, she’d stuck around so long for sentimental reasons, but she’d never ever admit that.

wanted connections ( first come first serve )

anniversary of an uninteresting event ( open ) - yooseul never talks about it, but y/m saw the story about her parents on some exploitative talk show where they launched a ton of conspiracy theories about what happened. you want to set the record straight, but she doesn’t really wanna hear it.

be quiet and drive ( open ) - y/m orders a ride from yooseul with no set destination in mind. they’ve just had a really awful day and want to zoom through the city towards the sunset without looking back. lucky for them, that is just yooseul’s vibe.

needles and pins ( open ) - y/m and yooseul knew eachother before she moved into dallyeog, possibly even dating back to childhood. they actually know her better than most of the people she’s around now, which makes her mighty uncomfortable. she feels as if they hold some sort of key to a past she thought she’d locked away forever.

cherry waves ( open ) - nobody knows how y/m and yooseul came together, but every time they come into contact, they both immediately lose themselves. sitting on the beaches of busan with a bottle of whiskey, tiptoeing on the edge of dallyeog’s rooftop hand in hand, or ending up a tangled mess of flushed skin and kiss-swollen lips in the back of yooseul’s car; wherever they are, time doesn’t seem to exist.

battle axe ( open ) - yooseul can be a little abrasive when she’s irritated, and maybe that’s why y/m likes pushing her buttons so much. maybe they just like to challenge her attitude of not caring about anything. 

passenger ( open ) - somehow, every time y/m orders from the rideshare app, they end up with yooseul as their driver. it’s not that she doesn’t get them there safely and on time, but she can be...rather scary. maybe all it would take is a few conversations, and they’d see she’s not so bad, and maybe even bump up her rating to three stars?

hole in the earth ( open ) - yooseul did the unthinkable when she and y/m were together a few years ago: she actually opened up. she told them things she never thought she’d tell anyone, and y/m didn’t really understand the weight of that decision for her, betraying her trust. seeing y/m again now is just reopening old wounds and pouring on the salt.

digital bath ( open ) - for whatever reason, it is way easier for yooseul to have lengthier conversations over texts, snaps and other various digital means of communication. perhaps it’s not having to see the person’s reaction in real-time and therefor not having to process any of her own emotions. y/m is one of the only people who actually indulges her on this, and now they have become somewhat friendly as a result.

this is all i have for the moment, but i am v enthusiastic about brainstorming things based on chemistry and character traits or of course scooping up one of your open plots! 

[bubmyg]

hi hannah!! pls feel free to answer this whenever you feel like it bc i know this is a monster of a question. I’m trying to decide if I want to go to law school but don’t really have an accurate idea of what it would be like. I was wondering if you could share some of your experience especially the worst parts of it?

if your undergrad is any sort of discussion based logical thinking picking through a problem or piece of information then it’s no different and no harder it’s just different information. i was an english literature major in undergrad and it’s the same class style, same way of reading and thinking abt things, just completely different subject matter. it’s definitely a learning curve w that different subject matter tho. and u learn pretty quickly that not very many people get spectacular grades in law school. law school is the vehicle to get to the bar exam, doesn’t particularly matter how well the vehicle runs. obviously that isn’t me telling you to not study and take C’s w a smile but the hardest thing for me was dealing w the logistics of the mandatory curve LMAO

the other difficult aspect for me was being outgoing. you don’t have to be extroverted by any means but networking is like. the most important part. you gotta make urself comfortable w emailing professors and firms off linkedin. u gotta get used to volunteering in class bc they’re gonna cold call u anyway. ur probably gonna be completely clueless sometimes even if you read the information three different times. ur probably gonna think u sounded dumb in front of the class or in front of a judge or in front of ur professor. if ur like me ur gonna think ur the dumbest person in the room and how did you possibly get into law school when the dudes around you start talking abt business associations. and that’s totally cool!!! u just gotta come to terms w imposter syndrome being a semi normal occurrence n realize ur smart as hell too or u wouldn’t be there LMAO

it’s also a lot more self discipline??? ive only had one class so far that had a scheduled assignment regime otherwise ur only grade is the final and you have to schedule out studying and outlining and reviewing. ur prof might not even remind u abt the final until a day or two before (and will be teaching right up to it!) depending on ur undergrad major tho that might not be super scary. it wasn’t scary to me rlly just an adjustment

in my own personal experience it’s not the big daunting thing the stereotypes make it out to be. it’s just college again just w a bit more reading and professors w random name drop connections DNDNDNDNDN and there are so so many directions u can go w law that aren’t selling ur soul to big corporations i swear don’t let anyone tell u there isn’t money in helping people lmao (or if big law is ur gig then by all means go for it)

this was. all over the place I’m sorry djdnnd im happy to answer any specifics u have as well!!!!

[wistfulkitten]

i dream you'd love me again (2) || jk

sadness, guilt, regret. all things jeongguk felt after reading her letter.

genre: angst and fluff? childhood friends, cheating, sisters boyfriend au

pairing: jeongguk x reader

word count: 2.3k

posted: 200518

warnings: longing, infidelity, profanity (kinda), mentions of sex, probably inconsistent punctuation 

a/n: theres probably gonna be minor grammar issues because grammarly is shit and im tired. n e way i tried making this longer, it took me like four hours believe it or not. funni how i can make time for writing but not for my hw. silly me. i tried explained why he did what he did and im sorry if it was crappy. thank u to yall who read the first one. if you guys have any requests or ideas feel free to send me something in my inbox or message me. tyty:))

------------------------------------------------------------

sadness. sadness is what jeongguk felt at the end of ___’s letter. sad that he hurt her enough to the point that she thought of herself as anything but perfect. sad that she doubted his feelings for her. sad that despite everything he put her through, she still loved him and still wished him the best. he always knew she had a big heart. it's one of the many reasons he was drawn to her in the beginning, but it was also one of her biggest weaknesses. her heart was too big for her own good and it scared him. ___ was always too quick to forgive and forget and most of the time it came back to bite her in the ass.

 he saw it time after time when her dad had left. he had had an affair and left his wife and two kids for a younger woman and yet she never got mad or ever blamed her father in contrary to yoona. while yoona never gave her father the time of day after the separation, ___ always made sure to set time aside for him even when he never put in enough effort to interacting with his daughters. he was a pretty crappy father, content with his new life. and though it made her sad that her family was no longer whole and her mother was practically always crying herself to sleep, it made her happy that her dad was happy. she was just about twelve then and still, she never gave into childish grudges. thirteen year old jeongguk found her slightly stupid for this trait but as they grew up, he found it quite endearing. 

guilt. after the sadness had settled in, a great wave of guilt washed over his being. while he was here, newly married with a whole life ahead of him, you were somewhere out there living the life you always wanted sad and lonely. too heartbroken to even enjoy it properly. he didn't deserve it, the comfort and security his new marriage gave him, he didn't deserve it. 

 jeongguk was merely seventeen when he fell in love with a sixteen year old ___ all the while he dated yoona, her older sister. he’d known them practically his whole life and it was such a small town that it was simply impossible for you not to know anyone and everyone. everyone went to the same schools and hardly anyone moved out of the godforsaken town. he and yoona started dating in the sixth grade. much too young to be dating but their families were long time friends and saw it appropriate for the two to start early. so that one day the two families would unite. jeongguk hadn’t minded at first. he was eleven at the time but yoona had always been a good friend. they played together all the time so nothing really changed except for the frequent hugs and occasional kiss on the cheek.

 as they grew older they graduated into more mature ways of affection but it never bothered him too much. though he was friends with yoona, he was always closer to ___. sure at first, he had trouble expressing but afterward never once did they ever feel reserved towards one another, only ever honest with every bit of their being.  while yoona was more reserved and occasionally bratty, ___ was outspoken and adventurous. always willing to try something new even if it wasn't exactly encouraged. she never shied away from speaking her mind and that was something jeongguk always aspired to be. she was everything he wasn’t.  she expressed herself in every possible way. hair color was constantly changing since the start of high school. she pulled off any type of style you could think of. you could pick her out of any crowd in an instant. she painted, wrote poems and songs, sang, played various instruments, even took up photography. she turned any type of art form into a way for people to understand her, every single part of her. she was good at so many things and jeongukk, jeongukk was good at one thing. basketball. yet she never made him feel bad about it, instead she went to every game. cheering him on. she was mesmerizing in every single way. 

 while they had their good moments, yoona had a knack of patronizing him for every fault and imperfection. when they started high school she had tried so hard to be looked at as the perfect couple. she made it a point to show that they ‘never fought’ and were always ‘happy’. he never spent too much time with his friends because ‘every boyfriend had to put his girlfriend first’. this is the exact reason jimin never liked her and why jin always referred to her as a pain in the ass. it was safe to say his friends weren't exactly fond of her either. she was so different from ___ which was good or bad, depending on who you were asking. 

yoona was pretty, though jeongguk would say ___ was prettier. soft features, soft personality, light colors were a constant, skirt never too short, hair never too long. she was a straight line kind of girl like the majority of girls in town. grades never faltering. she always believed in the whole study hard, get a good job, have kids plan everyone stuck to and it was always so suffocating. 

he wanted more out of life, he wanted to explore places, explore himself. he wanted to get to know himself in more ways than one because he had yet to know all of it. all of him. but by the time he was sixteen, jeongguk already had a career to work towards and a girl everyone was so sure would be his wife. it was like his life was a book and everyone but him was the author. he had no control and he started to dread the future. he was running and he knew what would be at the finish line, so he slowed down. while yoona was running full speed, he was jogging at most. he started faking a persona in front of his family and yoona because they simply didn’t get it and they never would. 

when he couldn’t exactly talk to his own girlfriend about his feelings and problems ___ was always there to listen. she was good at that. listening. she never judged, instead always reassuring him that when the time came he’ll know what to do. she had an easygoing way of living and he longed to live like that too. though her mother didn't agree and favored yoona more, she simply took it as it was and cherished what she had for the time being. her love for her mother and sister never faltered even if their love never measured up. ___ had a way of looking at the world that could get her far, far away from here and jeongguk envied that. she said all his feelings were valid and no one should be mad at him for simply feeling. once he had slowed down enough for the once blurry images to become clear, he’d realized that running with yoona was far too tiring and that walking with ___ was far more fulfilling.

 jeongguk was merely seventeen when he fell in love with a sixteen year old ___ and it was the most exhilarating feeling ever. it had started out as just a friend being there for a friend, but one day it turned into something more. they had been out on one for their many infamous nightly drives when they had stopped at a cliff, a pretty view of their small town in sight. pretty lights below and above. the stars were out that night just like them, watching the rest of the world sleep. she’d looked into his eyes, simultaneously looking into his soul. with anyone else, he would’ve felt naked and exposed but with her, he wanted her to see everything and to understand everything. he realized he only ever wanted one person to do that and he wanted to express it in the best way possible. he kissed her. really kissed her and she didn't shy away. he knew it was wrong, they both did, but it felt so good. so good that it felt right. right there, in the back of jeongguk’s first car, clothes disappeared one by one and they wrote love poems into the bareness of their skin. so passionate, so raw that it was impossible to stop afterward. they did it again and again behind closed doors, behind the curtain they drew in the depths of night. it was nothing they ever felt before. when they weren’t tangled within each other they explored as much as the city would let them. talking about anything and everything. no boundaries. 

___ planned on leaving once she graduated, didn’t know where to but the farther the better. she hated it here and so did he. it made jeongguk sick to even think about a life without her in it. he was selfish, he knows. he had them both and it was very clear which of them he loved more yet it saddened him that the one he favored more would ever leave him here. alone. that was until she asked him to come with. she asked him to run away with her. he swears if he wasn't deeply in love with her then, he was now. of course he said yes. running away and seeing the world with his favorite girl was a dream. a dream he truly wanted to become reality. 

they planned it out. jeongguk and yoona graduated and while ___ finished her final year in high school and yoona stared college, jeongguk took a gap year waiting for ___. waiting for their dream while working jobs here and there, financially preparing. he also took a business internship so that his family would get off his back for working instead of college. it was full proof, even the boys knew. though they thought it was risky, they supported them both. they had grown fond of ___.  they’d both work jobs to add onto their savings and the day after ___ graduated they’d leave and never come back. that was the plan, the dream. and yet they never made it.  

regret. he regretted it so much. the faithful day came but jeongguk didn’t. she waited and waited but he couldn’t do it. he watched from afar, luggage in hand. watch her wait. watched her cry when she realized. he cried with her. he was just so damn scared. a coward is what he was. he was scared of the unknown, something he craved so much and yet he was scared of it. and that's exactly how he felt for ___ at that moment. he craved her so much, loved her so much, and yet he was scared of her. scared that her spontaneous ways would one day be the end of them. he thought of yoona, at least with yoona he knew what he was getting. knew exactly where they’d end up. he wanted certainty and that's why he watched her leave. but to his surprise, she didn't leave, not yet. she stayed and waited, waited long enough for everyone else to find out. she was then branded as a little slut that wanted a taste of the forbidden fruit, the one he didn't choose. it was far from the truth but its what everyone believed. and so she left far far away and he didn't chase after her. god did he regret it. every day since that day he’s felt nothing but regret. he was back to putting the mask on trying to appease everyone. surprisingly no one reprimanded him and for that he felt anger, anger he’d only felt towards himself.

___ was the love of his life so it hurt. it hurt to see that she didn’t think of herself like he did. he wasn't aware she felt that way. like she was in yoona’s shadow. to him, it had never been like that because she’d been the one he sought to look at first in every room. it hurt to see she thought so low of herself but you could say he wasn't any better. he was newly married and yet he was miserable. it had only been a few months since he and yoona got married and people were already asking when they were having a baby. straight out of college and things were moving so fast. he was nauseated and lived life in such a lethargic manner. he needed her. 

she said she still loved him. maybe it wasn’t too late. maybe he could turn things around and fulfill the dream they never reached. so he picks up the phone and dialed the number he used to call every night. it was so familiar that he didn’t need to think twice about it.

it rang once, twice, and finally, on the third ring, she answered.

“gukk?”

he cried at the sound of her voice. he missed her so much. after a while, he could hear soft sniffling from the other line.

“can i come home?” he asked, voice so hoarse it hurt.

“you are home… aren’t you?” voice strained, sounding confused.

“no no, you’re my home ___. i need to come home. “

with that jeongguk couldn’t help but cry harder.

“shhh shhh gukk, it's ok. everything will be ok.” she cooed familiar words he hadn’t heard in a while. “ok, come home. come to me baby.”

he booked the first flight he could as soon as she said where she was and packed up as much as he could. he was gonna stop living this lie and start living for himself. something he should have done four years ago. and in a few hours, that’s exactly what he was gonna do. live the life he dreamed of with her, no holding back. he needed to stop being afraid. he was on his way, without a care in the world. jeongguk loved ___ and ___ loved him. that's all that mattered.

he’d send the divorce papers over tomorrow.