#this started as one or two things but just kept growing 🙈

[heatherholes]

appreciation post for my betters 💖

men who make sexist jokes 💖

men who interrupt 💖

men who mansplain 💖

men who manspread 💖

men who manipulate 💖

men who grope 💖

men who gaslight 💖

men who pay their female employees less 💖

men who don’t hire women at all 💖

men who obviously don’t respect me 💖

men who only pretend to respect me 💖

men who want head and don’t give it in return 💖

men who think they have it worse than women 💖

men who know they have it better 💖

men who expect women to dress modest 💖

men who expect women to dress like sluts 💖

men who think women are public property 💖

men who think women are private property 💖

men who won’t let their girl start an onlyfans 💖

men who make their girl to start an onlyfans 💖

men who provide for women 💖

men who pimp and profit off women 💖

men disgusted by lesbianism 💖

men turned on by lesbianism 💖

men who are stern, stoic and fair 💖

men who are demanding, volatile and unfair 💖

misogynist men who treat women like cunts 💖

feminist men who treat women like cunts 💖

men 💖 men 💖 men 💖 men 💖 men 💖

[anticanonsposts]

könig taking care of us on our period but also not being afraid to fuck us 🙈

muahaha here you go darling 

cw: nsfw-mdni, p in v, fingering, blood, feelings of embarrassment, teasing??

You didn’t mean for it to happen but you invited your boyfriend König over and one thing led to another and now you were straddled on his lap, both of you shirtless, with no space in between the two of you, essentially consuming each other. His greedy little (big) hands were not being shy and running along every part of your body. Clawing your hands down to his fly you start to unzip it, feeling his growing hard dick under his pants. But he gently bats your hands away and instead works to take off your pants. Sitting up on your knees you help him by shimmying out of them which elicits a groan from him. 

‘Eager there big guy huh?’ you tease which earns you a soft spank to your butt. Giggling, you go back to eating his face only breaking away when he says,

“Can I finger you?” 

Responding with a nod and ‘mmhmm’ you start to get off of him to lay down but he stops you, ‘No I want to like this’ his eyes gleaming up at you, clearly in a horny haze. As you return your lips to his once more his right hand makes its way down to your core. Gently taking his ring and index finger he glides against your slick and runs his middle finger from your entrance up to your clit. Shivering slightly, he chuckles. Absolutely giddy with himself. He loved that he was able to please you, make you feel good, you worked so hard every day so he really enjoyed seeing you let loose. 

Gripping better onto his shoulders now, he slowly slides his middle finger into you, curving it slightly, then quickly adds his ring finger. 

You gasp a bit, not because of pain, but you always forget how much bigger his hands feel than other people you’ve been with. 

He quickly finds a good rhythm against you, curving his fingers in and out of you, his palm rubbing against your clit each time. Tongues still down each other's throats, the two of you stay like this for a few blissful minutes. Finally, wanting more, you pull away and say, “Shit, please just fuck me König” both of you lips puffy at this point. 

“Do you want it that bad, hmmm?” he teases back before coating your collar bones and chest with quick, light pecks.  

Bracing yourself on his shoulders you start to shift your weight off of him and he pulls his hand from you, only for both of you to realize his fingers and palm are covered in blood. 

“Oh my god!” you exclaim, this has never happened to you during sex before, some of your friends had told you how when this happened to them, it killed the mood. 

König’s eyebrows raise, his face surprised with a mild concern. Was he too rough with you? You’d done this before and nothing happened? But as soon as you cover your face with your hands out of embarrassment he figures out what’s going on. But before he can react you have already lept off of his lap and run into the bathroom. 

Closing the door behind you, you quickly grab some toilet paper to try and wipe any excess blood that has accumulated between your legs. You felt absolutely mortified, you were sure he was grossed out, sure he didn’t wanna see you anymore, your mind just kept filling and swimming with worry. You were broken out of this trance by a soft knock on the door. “Liebe? Please come out.” 

You open the door to your boyfriend standing there with a sheepish smile. “Oh shit here, wash your hands I’m sorry” you say which only gets a chuckle from him. As he grabs some soap and starts lathering his hand under the water  you say, “I’m sorry that happened, I didn’t realize I was gonna start my period today. We don’t have to continue if you don’t want, but shit you’re probably still hard, i can give you head if you want-” rambling on, only cut off by his lips meeting yours. 

“Liebe, do you remember what I do/did for work? Do you think a little blood bothers me, hmm? I understand if YOU don’t want to continue but just know you will get no hesitancy from me.” 

“Shit-Sorry I just thought you’d be grossed out-”

“Stop apologizing Liebling! It’s ok, I don’t mind, your body is doing what your body does….Now, do you wish to continue?”  he assures you, gently gripping your face in his huge (yes i know we know he’s big but you best believe i'm gonna mention it constantly rahhhh) hands. Noticing a small smile and glint in your eyes he mimics and starts smiling down at you. 

“Let’s get a towel, and you go ahead and lay down, ok?” he says grabbing an old towel from under your sink.  

Doing exactly what he suggested you grab the towel and make your way back to your bed, laying it out so that your bottom half can rest on it. You shimmy up, propping yourself up on your elbows, legs spread slightly. His eyes rake up your body as he rids himself of the rest of his clothes. 

Then the bed dips under his weight as he crawls his way up to you, caging you under him with his arms on either side of you. Your elbows lock around his neck, bodies pressed together once again, your mouths explore each other. That is until you are whining, legs wrapped around his waist, grinding your heat against this core. 

Knowing, he’s already teased you so much, he braces himself up with one of his arms and uses the other to line himself up with you, making sure to glide against you first. Then he slowly enters you, groaning at the feeling of you wrapping tightly around him. Finally bottoming out he looks down at you, immediately you give him a quick nod, begging with your eyes for him to start thrusting. And who is he to deny you? One elbow still propped up he uses his right hand to trap your jaw to keep your eyes on him, and uses his left hand on your hips, moving you as leverage for a better rhythm. 

As he fucks into you, he murmurs praise after praise into your ears, “Fuck, dummer schatz (silly darling/treasure), you’re worried a little blood would keep me away from this pussy? Nothing could keep me from enjoying you, du bist zu perfekt (you’re too perfect). Blushing from his words due to your ever growing German vocabulary all you can do is whimper back, telling him how good he feels. 

At this point he really starts pounding into you, slightly bouncing your hips off the bed to meet his thrusts. You move yourself with him, taking everything he has to give you. Feeling your core start to twitch he quits his hand from your hip and pushes your right leg up by the crook of your knee so that he more directly hits your g-spot. “mmmm-König-I’m..gonna cum” you moan looking up at him with those gorgeous eyes he loves so much. “I know libeling, come apart for me, ok? I’ve got you” he replies as you start rubbing slow circles around your clit. “I’m gonna cum with you, just tell me when you are!” he grunts out, more assertive as he is nearing his own climax. After a few more strong thrusts you finally come undone “oh fuck-König–mmmcuming!” you cry, core tightening around him, white hot pleasure coursing through your body. He groans in response and buries himself inside  of you, balls deep as if he’s trying to get you pregnant. 

“Fuck!”  you both say in unison before laughing. Carefully he pulls out of you and you sit up to ‘inspect the damage’. His dick definitely has blood on it, nothing horrific, but clearly you are bleeding. “See, I told you I don’t mind” he says before laying on his back, pulling you with him to rest on his chest. 

“We better shower babe” you pipe up still a bit nervous about the blood. 

“In a minute, I wanna hold you a little longer”

That was just the first time bestie: from then on any other time you were on your period but wanted to have sex….

would be one of the only times he got mildly frustrated with you

having to repeat over and over again that he couldn't care less about any blood, as long as you were down

if seeing the blood bothered you he would have you turn around so you didn’t have to see it at all

doing it in doggy so that you don’t have to see his dick come out of you covered in blood <3 he’s so sweet like that 

and then would quickly clean himself and you up so that you wouldn't second guess anything 

as I said he would already be so down for it, but when he found out that orgasms can help with cramps, call him tylenol because he is on you so fast

after a while you realize that he tends to overstimulate you so much more when you’re on your period…because he wants you to not be in pain 

this man is the DEFINITION of a period stops nothing but a sentence

[starstruckmiraclekitty]

Hi I wanted to know if you could do a headcannon based off this TikTok

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMYx3JsUQ/

And just other random pregnant reader hcs with 141, König , Alejandro and the whole gang y’know if you can’t that’s perfectly fine. ❤️❤️❤️ love your work ❤️❤️❤️

Thank you for this one!!❤️ Hope this is along the lines of what you were looking for! Added some fluff for some of our boys😅🙈

141+ Alejandro, Rudy, and Konig w/ Pregnant Reader Headcannons

Warnings: crying, swearing, mild sexual references, fluff, mild angst

Simon Ghost Riley-

Scared as shit at first when you told him you were pregnant

He ended up ghosting you for a few days after he found out, as he needed to sort some things out mentally. He'd never in his life thought children were in the cards for him. It was a lot for him to take in.

Eventually came around and was very vocal to you about his concerns, but told you that if this is what you wanted, he would support you no matter what, and would remain by your side indefinitely

110% becomes more protective of you, now that you're carrying his child

Kept a small picture of your ultrasound in his vest pocket

Always had his arm around you in public even though he disliked PDA and very rarely let you go anywhere without him or one of your close friends.

Once your bump started to form, it became more real to Simon that the two of you were bringing a child into this world, and a small part of him started to grow excited.

Whenever he'd be out on shopping trips, he'd always pick up little things he thought the baby might like

Very hands-on with you, and doesn't like to see you do much, other than taking it easy

Unbeknownst to you, towards the end of your pregnancy, Simon would often find himself talking to the unborn child as he stroked your belly while you were sleeping

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You were out cold one night, with Simon curled up into you from behind. He was absentmidently rubbing at your very pregnant belly, lost in thought. He'd shifted slightly, careful not to wake you, and pressed his lips to your stomach.

"Hey, kid. I know you can't even hear me, but that's a'right. Gonna make a promise to you, okay? I'm gonna be the best dad I possibly can. I love your mom so fucking much, I'd do anything for her. And you, now. I'll be nothing like him. I'll be good. For you and mom."

And he was. Simon was the best father to your son that you could've ever asked for.

Johnny Soap MacTavish-

Man had truly thought you were pranking him at first. The two of you shared quite the playful relationship, so he honestly wouldn't have put it past you

When he found out that you truly were pregnant, he was elated

The day after he found out, he told nearly everyone he knew

Totally the kind of guy who found any excuse to bring you being pregnant into a conversation with someone

Constantly touching your stomach.

Went insane when he could feel your child kicking, his face would light up every single time

Developed a small kink of having you wear his hoodies while you were pregnant

He spent a lot of his free time watching tik toks on different ways to alleviate some of your pregnancy symptoms, and often found himself trying out various things on you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Lass, can I try something with you?" Your husband asked, approaching you with a wicked grin.

You'd given him a questioning gaze, before nodding your head.

"Aye! Stand up. Will ya? Turn your back to me."

"What are you on about, Johnny." You chuckled, but did as he asked.

"Saw this on Tik Tok, bear with me, okay?" He asked as he wrapped his arms below your belly and lifted up slightly.

The relief you felt was immediate. Some of the weight you've been carrying for months was literally being lifted off of you. You sighed deeply and laid your head back onto Johnny's shoulder.

"Feel good?" He smirked, pressing a kiss to your hair.

"Mmmmhmm. I'm not letting you go back to work now. Gonna make you do this all day every day until the little one comes." You chuckled.

"I won't say no to that."

Alejandro-

You and Alejandro had been trying for a child for some time

You were a civilian, and you two had been together for long enough that you felt you were ready to have a family

He was overjoyed when you'd shared the news with him. He was away from home for a few weeks, and you had told him over video chat.

Once he'd gotten home, he'd engulfed you in a massive hug, spinning you around.

"Vas a ser una madre tan hermosa" (You are going to be such a beautiful mother) he'd whispered in your ear

Keeps your pregnancy on the DL, only tells a few people, including Rodolfo

Was over the moon when you were okay with having Rudy as the godfather

Literally always finds an excuse to touch you in some way, and you often find him staring at you admiringly, more than he had before.

LOVES kissing your belly, especially right after the baby kicked. He adored your little giggles that ensued from it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The two of you were home on a quiet weekend night, Alejandro cleaning up from dinner while you washed the dishes.

You had a slow Spanish dance song playing softly in the background, and you found yourself swaying your hips along with the music.

Alejandro looked over to you and smiled to himself before putting down what he was working on. He made his way over to you, hugging you from behind and wrapping his arms underneath your pregnant bump. He pulled up softly, easing some of the tension in your back, as you were pressed into his abdomen. "You are so beautiful, amor de mi vida."

He swayed along with you, a comfortable silence falling over the two of you. Both of you ended up staying like that even as the song ended, too content in each other's arms to move.

Rudy-

Man was literally over the moon when the two of you found out you were pregnant

A few weeks into you being pregnant, he was already suggesting baby names

Absolute sweetheart to you throughout your entire pregnancy, unbelievably caring

Like Alejandro, he kept your pregnancy rather quiet, but it was very hard for him not to tell anyone and everyone

Cried when he felt your baby kick for the first time

Loved going shopping with you, finding little clothes and toys for the baby

Him and Alejandro had spent weeks building the nursery, and he was so excited to show you

Literally just the best baby daddy, he was so incredibly caring and sweet throughout the entire time you were pregnant

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One day, late into your pregnancy, you found yourself pacing the hallway of your home nervously. Your due date was rapidly approaching, and your nerves were starting to overwhelm you.

"Cariño?" Rudy asked, walking into the room. "Baby, what's wrong?"

"I'm scared, Rodolfo. What if I won't be a good mom? What if I can't do this?" You gestured to your stomach, tears pooling in your eyes.

"Hey, none of that, okay? You are so amazing, amar. Please don't think anything else. You're gonna be the best mom, and im gonna be with you the entire time. In this together, always, you and me." He came up behind you, placing a kiss to your shoulder. He looped his arms around the under side of your belly, pulling upward slightly.

You leaned your head back to press a kiss to your lover's chin and sighed in content as he continued to hold your belly. "I love you, mi amor."

"Yo tambien te amo, por siempre" (I love you too, forever)

John Price-

Man's jaw dropped to the floor when you told him that you were pregnant

Was slightly nervous at first, considering this would be your guys' first child, but the thought of your belly swelling with HIS child? Man was a goner.

He definitely got hornier throughout your pregnancy. There was something about seeing your swollen belly that had his cock constantly straining in his pants.

Doted on you like crazy. Loved cooking for you, and found your pregnancy cravings disgusting, yet hilarious

Totally became a handyman and loved being able to build your child's nursery on his own

Kept a tiny picture of the ultrasound in his wallet

You'd somehow managed to convince John to join you in childbirth classes, and he'd shyly admit he actually liked going with you

"Alright, everyone, today we will be learning a technique that allows the mom's to have a bit of weight relief. Partners, if you don't mind stepping up behind the mom, and put your hands on the underside of their belly." The instructor called out, as everyone moved to stand behind their partner.

Price came up behind you and pressed a kiss just beneath your ear. "Looking ravishing today, love."

"You've seen me all day. You're just now telling me this?" You giggled, pressing your back into your husband's chest.

"Can't I tell my wife that she looks divine?" He teased, making a tisking sound in your ear. "Maybe I'll just have to show you later then."

"John!" You playfully slapped his arms that were moving to encompass your lower abdomen.

"Alright, partners gently lift the belly upward, be careful not to apply too much pressure. This should help some of the pain the moms are experiencing."

Price did as instructed, and lifted some of the weight from your swollen belly. "Does this actually help, sweetheart?"

"Ooooh fuck yes." Your eyes fluttered shut and your head lulled back to his shoulder.

He chuckled softly and started to caress the skin there. He pressed his lips to your shoulder and mumbled, "I can't wait to start our family with you, my love."

Kyle Gaz Garrick-

You and Gaz had conversations here and there about having children in the future, but nothing ever truly came of it. You both knew you wanted kids, though.

He nearly cried when you told him you were pregnant. Though he was slightly nervous, he couldn't be more excited to start a family with you

Makes it a point to cater to your every need

Feet hurt? He'll give you a foot rub. Hungry? He'll grab you a snack at any given hour

Immediately tells his family and friends that you're pregnant

Always there for you. Doesn't get offended by your mood swings at ALL

He's one to try your pregnancy cravings with you, no matter how revolting he finds it

Will literally drop what he's doing to come and help you if you need it

"Fricking crap dick!" You groaned, shifting on the couch to get more comfortable.

Kyle's ears perked up at your words, and he came over to see if you were okay "Babe? You alright?"

"Yeah, sorry, babys just moving a bit much, and my stomachs just sore. Can't get comfy."

Kyle smiled at you softly and grabbed your hand to help you up. "Come on then, come upstairs with me."

You waddled after him, following him into your shared bathroom. You watched as he drew a warm bath (he made extra sure it wasn't too hot) with your favorite bubble bath.

He gestured for you to climb in after helping remove your clothes, and proceeded to climb in behind you.

His hands found his way to your belly, massaging your flesh ever so gently, causing a small moan to emit from your lips.

Kyle kept you tucked in his arms til the bath ran cold, his fingers only stopping their kneading when he moved to replace the warm water. The pain and discomfort were long forgotten, as you dozed off in your partners arms.

König-

Was speechless when the two of you found out you were expecting

He was rather anxious about the prospect of having a child, as it was something he'd never really thought he'd have the chance to experience

110% supportive of you, and stayed by your side lovingly throughout the entire pregnancy

His heart swelled with pride once your bump started to show, knowing that you were carrying his child

Often, he finds himself watching videos on what to expect when you're expecting

Legit cried when he felt your baby kick for the first time, and didn't move from your belly for hours

Will sit on YouTube for hours, watching various methods to help ease the pain you're experiencing, what sorts of things to look out for, and things such as what sorts of foods to eat, or avoid

Will do literally ANYTHING for you, name it, and he'll do it immediately

Was SO happy when you asked him to join you in some childbirthing classes

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He'd come across a video of a pregnant couple, where the husband had lifted the pregnant woman's belly to help take some of the weight off of her. His eyes had lit up, and he grew excited. He was so attuned to you, and he knew you were struggling with all of the extra weight.

He ran over to where you were standing in the kitchen, and hugged you tightly from behind. "Maus."

"Hey, Kö." You turned your head to look at your partner and gave him a warm smile. "You oka- oh my gosh."

Königs arms had found their way under your belly and gently pulled upwards to alleviate some of the weight from you. You sighed deeply, falling back into your partner. "Feels so much better. You're too good to me, my love."

"Nein, you are the one carrying our child. What I do pales in comparison." He kissed the side of your brow, and continued to hold you like that for awhile.

After seeing how much you enjoyed it, he frequently had come up to you whenever you were doing various tasks around the house and would proceed to "hold his weight" as he lovingly put it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[pinkslipxox]

May I please request a kind of enemies to lovers fic with Miko? She & reader met in high school through Mari, and reader just never liked her cockiness and thought Miko was a fuck girl, but really the only reason Miko ever entertained other girls was because we kept turning her down. Now years later, she's recording Trap Kitty and we go to the studio with Mari and Miko is just so sincere and sweet so we finally give her a chance 🥹

Of course, angel! Ugh I loved writing this one 😭🙈

——————————————————————————

“C‘mon, Y/N! I promise she’s changed since high school,” Mari tries to reason with you.

“Vicky? Change?” you scoff in disbelief.

“It’s been five years, of course she has! Besides, you’re the only person she asked for,” Mari says and for a moment you put down your defenses.

Your jaw drops. “I-I am?”

You are genuinely shocked.

María Victoria Ramírez de Arellano Cardona— known to everyone at the time as Vicky— was a name that you knew all too well. You met her through Mari, your best friend since childhood, in high school. Everyone in school knew who she was. Her bold personality and cocky attitude made her stand out of the crowd. It was what made her loved or annoyed by your peers and teachers.

In your case, she annoyed you.

Vicky absolutely loved to pick on you. Her flirtatious smile, the mischievous gleam in her eyes, the way she sweet talked everyone made her into the typical fuck girl that you swore to never fall victim to. Yet, little by little, you started to notice that she started to pick on you less and less. Instead she started to pick on other girls, which confused you, but at the sametime made you feel relieved.

The last time you’ve seen or heard from Vicky was at graduation day. You picked up songwriting, a hobby of your that soon became into your career. While you were still not as well known, up and coming artists have reached out to you for your expertise, which made you grow a small fan base. And if it weren’t for Mari, you would never have known or even guessed that one of those up and coming artists was Vicky herself.

Under the name Young Miko.

“She wants to meet with you— today,” Mari reveals and your jaw drops even lower.

“W-what? What time?” you stammer.

“Her studio session starts at six.” Mari checks her watch. “Ya son las 4:45 p.m., Y/N. Si vas a ir, tienes que decidir ahora.”

You bite your lip. The thought of seeing Vicky after all these years both flatters you and makes you nervous. You’re surprised that she’s even remembered you in the first place. It just has to be coincidence that the two of you are even interested in the same industry together.

“I’ll go,” you tell Mari, who sighs in relief.

“Perfecto. Puedes ir conmigo en mi carro,” she says and you nod.

You quickly gather your things together and head out of the door. As the two of you drive to San Juan, Mari fills you in on Vicky’s career thus far and the album she’s planning to release later this year. And that’s where you come in. Mari tells you that she’s been having trouble finishing the lyrics to a song she’s working on, and it’s for that reason why she’s reached out to you in the first place. You’re genuinely impressed by how well Vicky was doing so far. And you admit that you’re excited to listen what she’s been working on. You absolutely love music, and the fact that Vicky did too does not come much as a surprise to you.

By the time Mari parks her car, the nerves slowly creep their way back into you. You’re just minutes away from seeing Vicky again. And you pray that she really has changed as you and Mari are whisked away to the seventh floor of the building, where Vicky’s studio is.

“Puedes pasar!” you hear her voice from the other side of the door, and Mari pushes the door open.

“Adivina quién llegó!” Mari announces as you step inside the studio.

You make eye contact with a brown haired girl. A gasp escapes your lips when you realize that it is Vicky. Physically, she hasn’t changed save for the tattoos that decorate both her arms. She is clad in an oversized hoodie with baggy jeans and a beanie on her head. That part of Vicky hasn’t changed either. She was rarely seen without a beanie or hat on her head.

“Y/N!” she exclaims with excitement, making your nerves calm down a bit, and she hurries over to you with a big smile on her face.

“Hi, Vicky,” you greet politely.

Should you shake her hand or hug her?

“Can I hug you? Is that okay?” Vicky asks sweetly as if to read your mind, and you inwardly breath a sigh of relief as you nod.

“Of course,” you say, and for a moment, you are frozen when Vicky wraps her arms around you, but nevertheless you return her sweet gesture.

“How have you been? It’s been, what, three years?” she muses and you chuckle softly.

“Five years, actually,” you correct her and she gasps.

“Acho! Time flies, doesn’t it?” Vicky giggles. She then gestures towards the she seat she was sitting on. “Siéntate, por favor. I hope you’re as ready as I am.”

“Let’s get started,” you chirp.

Turns out that Vicky is very talented. She even plays you some of her finished songs for you. And asks for your feedback once they end.

“I really like the beat. And the lyrics are catchy. What was the name of the song again?” you ask her, and you can’t help but notice that she’s gotten a little shy from your compliments.

“It’s called Riri,” Vicky says softly.

“That song would go hard in a club,” you tell her, earning a sheepish giggle from Vicky, and you can’t but admit just how adorable she looks right now.

“Gracias, mami,” she murmurs, catching you a bit off guard with the nickname she gave you.

“So…” you hum, trying to sound nonchalant, as you straighten up. “What about that song you need help writing?”

“Actually,” Miko says sheepishly after a beat of

silence, biting her lower lip, “I never needed help with the song. I… I actually just wanted an excuse to see you.”

“What?” you say softly, your heart beginning to flutter. You’re not sure if it’s by the way Vicky’s looking at you or if it’s by the confession she just made to you.

“I just really wanted to see you. And… also to apologize for bothering you throughout high school.” Vicky then takes a deep breath, her eyes looking into yours with a tenderness you’ve never seen before… and hesitation. “I had a such a big crush on you— I still do, actually. I did what I did to get your attention but…” She then gently takes your hands in hers. “If you’d be willing to give me a chance, we can start over. And I’ll prove to you just how much I’ve changed.”

Her words echo in your ears. Vicky has never been as sweet and sincere to you like this. Ever. She was always so teasing and forward. At first you think this is all a dream, but the feeling of her warm hands holding yours is proof enough to assure you that what is happening in front of you is real.

“I’d love to,” you murmur, unable to contain the smile spreading on your lips.

Vicky visibly relaxes and she breaths a sigh of relief.

“If you’re not doing anything after, let’s go out for dinner. And we can catch up,” she proposes and you nod excitedly.

“That sounds amazing,” you smile, and Miko gives your hands a gentle squeeze.

“Perfecto.” She then bites her lip again. “Can I kiss your cheek, Y/N?”

Your heart flutters again. “Of course you can.”

And so does. She holds your chin ever so gently and kisses your cheek. Your smile only grows, and you know deep inside you that is but the beginning of a beautiful new relationship with Vicky.

Your Vicky.

[kykyonthemoon]

oh gosh i loved your “a surprise visit” so much that it had me lamenting over caleb again ☹️

if you’re up for it, i would like to request headcanons for caleb with a reader who wants to cuddle him but is too shy to initiate. (i feel for the shy girls whose love language is physical touch 🙈)

thank you so much and have a great day!

Dear Anon-san,

It flatters me so much that you enjoyed "A Surprise Visit" I wrote for Caleb <3 With this request of yours, I decided to turn it into a story. I'm aware that it would be a little different from what you expected when sending me this request. Still, I do hope you enjoy this cute little piece.

For all the shy girls out there, I wish you courage to put your feelings into actions, just as MC does at the end of this story <3

When The Crabapple Blossoms

You had been waiting for a chance to tear down the last bit of the wall separating you both. He also wished for the same thing.

❀ Caleb x Female Reader/MC who is really shy

❀ Tags: fluff, shyness, adoptive siblings who are secretly in love with each other, domestic fluff, longing, pet names

❀ Word count: 1k3

❀ Masterlist

❀ Request

You had always been Caleb's shy little girl.

One day many years ago, when he had just been brought home by Grandma, there was a little girl, barefoot on the grass, holding a teddy bear, coming out to greet him. Grandma told the two of you to quickly get to know each other, but you said nothing and looked down. One hand kept the teddy bear tight, while the other grabbed the hem of Grandma's dress. You hid behind her and refused to look directly at him. Grandma had to coax you for a while before you could tell the boy your name.

It took you a while to open your heart to accept him into your life. You were the little girl so shy that she only talked to him through the teddy bear used to cover her face. Then, on another day, you got lost. You were terrified and cried until your tears dried. When you saw Caleb, the first thing you did was to rush to hug him. Since then, it seemed that the wall between you and him had begun to crumble.

You said, Caleb had such warm hugs. You would always feel safe and comfortable in his arms. A few more years passed, and Caleb grew up so quickly. He began to grow taller, and his arms became larger. That made you feel even more protected. He said, he must grow up fast to defend you.

And you gave him a new moniker: Mr. Bear. Instead of using the old teddy bear to talk to him, you began to regard him as a teddy bear with the size of a human; which was able to move and talk, and knew how to take care of you.

Still you were very shy. Except for that time when you got lost, you never made the initiative to get close to him. All the time, it was Caleb who started first.

“Pipsqueak, come here.”

Simple as that, you would obediently go to Caleb. He would pull you into his arms, caress your hair and gently rub your back. At times like those, you felt like all the troubles in the world disappeared, leaving only the two of you with this simple yet extremely precious warmth. And because you could not say it with words, you used those gentle brushes against his chest as a way to express your feelings.

Then, both of you grew up. Caleb went to the Academy and you started your training to become a Hunter. He and you had both gone separate ways, and there was little time spent at home or seeing each other. But you missed the feeling of being buried in his arms. It seemed that when you grew older, all your emotions no longer retained the simplicity of a child.

You were not sure how Caleb felt about you. You were too afraid to ask, and then received an answer you did not want. You anxiously waited for him to come back home every weekend, covertly studying every change in him. His skin began to tan, his hands developed calluses, and his muscles grew more visible. You wondered, during those days at the Academy, did he have a girlfriend? Had anyone else shared the same warm embrace that Mr. Bear once reserved just for you? You wanted to ask Caleb numerous questions but did not do so.

Since he knew your timidity, Caleb took the initiative in everything, from planning outings when he was on a break to holding your hand in crowded places. He was also concerned that you would dislike it; since after all, you were now a young lady and no longer the child who would follow him everywhere. He started asking more questions like: "Do you want to sit next to me?", or "Can I hold your hand?", and waited for your approval.

Of course, you were happy with the touches. Still you wanted a little more. You counted every day to see him again during breaks, hoping to touch him just a little more. But he never asked for it. Did he no longer wish to embrace you in his arms?

That day, you were silent the entire trip home from the movie theater with Caleb. As if realizing what you had in mind, he spoke up:

“Pipsqueak, is there something bothering you?”

Your footsteps paused on the bridge. Sunset tinted the sky with mild orange and pink, mixed with clear blue. You did not say anything, only shook your head.

“I know when something's wrong with you.” Caleb added. He did not accept your answer. “Say it, I'll help you out.”

You still felt like it was difficult to speak up. Your hands gripped the wooden bridge, nails barely scraping the surface. What to do? There was so much to say, but you had no idea where to begin.

“Some guy made you sad?” Caleb asked, half joking, half serious. You smiled and replied briefly:

"That's not it…"

While all you wanted to say was: No. The only person I care about is Caleb.

But he would never hear that, because you were too shy to say it out loud.

Caleb sighed. He leaned against the bridge, gazing at the sky in the East, while you turned towards the setting sun. In secret, you glanced at Caleb, halting at his shoulder. There was a small petal staying on it; that one must have fallen at the foot of the bridge where a crabapple tree was in full bloom.

Out of the blue, you reached out and picked up that flower petal. Caleb reacted fast and grabbed your wrist just in time. The wind surged. He stared into your eyes for quite a while.

You had been waiting for a chance to tear down the last bit of the wall separating you both.

He also wished for the same thing.

Since a long time ago.

“Well… um…” You hesitated. “There is a flower petal on… on your shoulder…”

Your fingers extended, the flower petal was lifted high by the wind. You glanced at it, as if to say farewell. Caleb still locked his gaze on you. Intense yet gentle.

He had yet to let go of your hand, while getting closer and closer to you.

"Pipsqueak." He called softly. “The truth is… Can I…”

You continued to wait. Caleb was about to say something but paused.

“Ah… Nevermind…”

His fingers wrapped around your wrist gradually loosening. You started to panic.

If I don't say it, he will never know...

If I don't say it, he will leave again...

If I don't say it, we will forever just be brother and sister...

“Caleb!” You called his name, so loudly that he was startled. You did not know where to start. Since when did you start looking forward to his touch? Since when did you hope to be a little bolder and tell him what you really wanted?

Better late than never. You looked at his hand that was slowly retracting, then decided to grab onto his arm.

“Caleb I… I want to…” It felt like something was bearing down on your heart and suffocating your throat. You could not do this. Your entire body trembled. But you had decided to seize this chance no matter what.

“I want to be embraced by you!!!”

After those words, you shut your eyes, your lips pursed hard. You clung to Caleb's arm but he did not feel the pain since his mind was preoccupied with something else. After a long while, when you felt his arms wrap around you, when the sound of his heart beating strongly and clearly heard, you opened your eyes then.

“Come here, pipsqueak. I also want to hold you close..."

Caleb breathed the words in the late spring air, faintly scented with crabapple blossoms; it made your heart burst. This was enough. Step by step, one at a time. There was no need to be in a hurry and let this dream slip away. Gradually, you would find ways to let Caleb know what your heart had to say.

[bruh-myguy-what]

May I please request [WET] with Rex or Gregor or Howzer or Hunter? 🤣🙈 thank you, you wonderfully talented thing you! 💕

Hello, dear friend 😅

I'd like to formally apologize for disappearing on this ask/request for so long. I feel horrible 😓...BUT, I refused to allow that to prevent me from finishing it! SO! Almost a year later, here if your request!

Honestly, I struggled so much with picking between Howzer and Gregor haha I haven't written for any of your boys you suggested before so I felt the most comfortable with Howzer. Though, if you have any more requests, I'd be more than happy to make those about the other two 😏 Also, I started this far before season 3 came out haha sooooo, I just went with what I had mostly written.

Anyway! Here you are, friend!

The Downpour

Pairing: Captain Howzer x fem!reader

Warnings: none really? A little risqué but nothing NSFW- still not entirely my forte just yet haha, but some good kissing.

Summary: Howzer is hiding himself away, on a planet that should keep him safe until Rex and Gregor can come back for him with a few other Clone Rebels. Until then, he is at the mercy of a woman Rex had contact with to keep the clone Captain fed. But Howzer is struggling with rising feelings he never knew a military man like himself could feel.

Word Count: 3k

Though on a different planet, hiding was still a top priority to Howzer, especially now that he not only had to protect himself but you, as well. It hadn’t been long since Rex and Gregor, along with a few other rebellious clones, found a secluded place for the rogue to settle. Rex had a few connections to people in the neighboring town so Howzer had someone to help supply food or whatever he may need and that was how he stumbled upon you- the one who helped far more than he could’ve ever asked. You not only supplied food but comfort when he would have sudden bouts of panic and flashbacks of seeing his brothers die in battle. Not just comfort, but encouragement, kindness, understanding…compassion. For a clone. For someone expendable. Replaceable. However, you’d told him multiple times he wasn’t, there was no way he could understand how you’d believed that. You were so unique, so breathtakingly exotic to him, and yet…the only thing that made him any different than his brothers was the scars on his face from the battles he’d seen. Nevertheless, no matter how he’d felt about what you may have seen in him, he promised to protect you with every possible effort he could muster. You made the little shack he took shelter in a home and as reckless as the thought was, Howzer fully believed that he would prefer death before he’d let the Empire take that feeling from him. But of course, you were oblivious to all of the overwhelming affection that he scarcely kept from boiling over every time you’d show up at his door with that smile that he spent nights dreaming about.

Today was only a little different…

It was a cloudy, overcast day and Howzer assumed rain would be expected at some point in the day but being new to the region he was still growing accustomed to the exotic weather patterns. So, going about his day as he normally would, while waiting for you, he busied himself with straightening up the small shack for your arrival. There was hardly room to make a mess, though that didn’t stop the clone from feeling as if he needed to make the place as perfect for you as he could, every single time. Howzer could feel his fingers fidgeting nervously, adjusting the vase of native flora in the center of the table back and forth a few times to keep his hands busy. He’d found a bush of wild flowers a day or two ago, during his daily trek of the surrounding woods, and decided that he wanted to surprise you with them during one of your regular stop-ins. The feeling you gave him was an entirely new experience for the clone, he’d only ever known war and militia- cold nights and dangerous encounters. But you gave him gentle touches and warm smiles that brought a whole new perspective to his life- a softer perspective and he craved it.

Blinking, Howzer realized he’d been daydreaming of you once again, brought back to reality by the grounding sound of heavy rain hammering the roof above his head. Glancing out the window to see if the sound matched the actual amount of rain outside, Howzer glimpsed your silhouette amongst the trees. “She’s lost her mind!” He panicked to himself as he grabbed for his raincoat by the door, rushing out into the torrent to meet you halfway. The rogue clone shouted your name over the loud rain, bounding up to you. “Howzer!” You simply greeted him with a grin that nearly toppled him. The hand over your forehead, protecting your face from the rough battering of rain, moved to wave innocently at the man approaching you.

Once in front of one another, Howzer’s breath ragged from his sprint to you, he realized that the coat was useless, noticing how soaked through you’d become despite his efforts. Taking in your drenched figure, heat rose to warm his cheeks from the cold air when he observed how the wet fabric folded over your curves. “Seems a little silly for us both to be soaked, don’t you think, Captain?” You laughed playfully as you wiped at the water in your eyes. “I mean, look at you,” You motioned to his t-shirt that was now clinging to his well-muscled torso, taking a secret moment to admire it for yourself.

“I-uh,” he fought with his thoughts, the sight of your figure distracting him from the words he knew he needed to say to explain why he’d run out to meet you. Squeezing his eyes shut to think, he chuckled out a breath at his internal struggle. “You make me a fool, cyare. That’s my only defense.” He finally muttered against the rain, meeting your eyes with a charming smile.

Perplexed by seeing his lips move but not processing what he was saying because of the loud pattering of the rain, you blinked a few times. “Sorry, Captain” you teased his title again, “I’m afraid the rain is drowning out your voice.” Leaning to look past the larger man, you then glanced up at his face to see he was fixated on your eyes. “Maybe we should head inside, then you can tell me what you wanted to say.”

-

Once inside the humble shack, you shuffled out of the soaked jacket you had tossed on before leaving. Glancing over your shoulder at Howzer, noting that he was placing his usual paranoid locks in place, you queried, “So what was it that you said out there, Howzer?”

“Oh! Uh-“ Howzer stumbled over his words momentarily, remembering exactly what he’d unintentionally let slip, and silently praised the rain for being loud enough to cover his mistaken confession. “I-I was saying that you are incredibly insane for walking all the way here in that mess of rain.” His chuckle warmed your chilled bones as he took a seat on one of the wooden chairs at the small round table you, yourself were standing near. His honey eyes glimmered against his wet hair, which was currently plastered against his forehead, “Though, I’ve come to find that your unpredictable nature is endearing.” and the boyish grin that followed after made you surprisingly bashful.

A light blush touched your cheeks as you swatted him away, “I didn’t choose to walk through the deluge out there haphazardly, ya know! It just started pouring on my way over here”, your laugh trailing off as you pulled out the rations you were supposed to be delivering. “Halfway here I realized the rations were probably ruined as well…Sorry, Howzer.” The drenched packages that slopped onto the counter from your bag gave away the condition of the contents. A pout fell over your face and Howzer could hardly keep his heart steady as he saw the precious upturn of your brows.

The captain could hear the remorse and guilt weaving through your normally bubbly voice, so he waved his hand in dismissal. “Don’t worry about it, we can figure something else out, mesh’la. Besides, you should know by now, the rations are nice,” he chuckled, “but the company is far more valuable to me.” You had only met a handful of clones throughout your life, many of the Clone Wars had affected the planet around you, but never yours so that left the planet more for the stationing of the clones- but very rarely. The ones you had met had seemed far more rough around the edges, more militant than Howzer was, at least around you. He was always so gentle and notably affectionate. Certainly not that you were complaining, the way he treated you was special enough to swoon you from early on. A handsome military man with a compassionate heart was hardly something anyone could deny for too long.

Especially one with such an adorable smile such as his.

“I uh-” Howzer clearing his throat brought you back as he tapped his fingers against the table, “I saw these while I was on one of my walks the other day.” A subtle gesture toward the mason jar of wildflowers brought your attention to them, “they reminded me of you so I thought I’d bring them back and, uh, see how you liked them.” His eyes flickered between your reaction and the flora between the two of you. It wasn’t the first time the clone captain had been unsure of exactly what to say around you, not by a long shot, but the current situation felt more difficult than others.

“For…me?” The sweet innocence in your voice betrayed the devastatingly sinful way the wet clothes accentuated your figure for his trained eye, so in an attempt to compose himself, Howzer fiddled with pushing his wet hair back and out of his face.

“Yeah, for you, mesh’la” he cleared his throat again to steady his growing anticipation. Watching as your beautiful eyes widened in realization, picking the jar up to inspect it closer, Howzer felt his left leg begin to bounce against the wood floor. The silence felt suffocating as you continued to run your finger delicately through the flowers, not glancing even once over at the anxious captain. It gave enough pause for Howzer to overthink his words, maybe he should’ve explained more the reason why he picked them? Perhaps he shouldn’t have said anything? Had he said too much? Or worse…were these flowers that he thought were pretty just seen as weeds on your planet and now you thought he was insulting you?

Oh, stars…what if you thought he was insulting you!

“They’re so beautiful, Howzer,” your voice was soft and wistful enough to halt every worrying thought swirling inside of him. “I can’t believe you gathered them just for me. I really appreciate that.” You held the jar close to your chest and he was met with another one of your devastating smiles that made his heart stop in its thundering rhythm. The sparkle in your eyes hypnotized him, reeling him into what felt like a world where just your smile existed. There was no Republic, no Empire, no war, no Order 66, no hiding for safety…just the dream that was so perfectly…you. In this world, there were no repercussions for how he felt. He could love you freely as his heart desired, finally know the way you’d feel wrapped up in him, he wouldn’t have to worry about you being hurt by anyone because of him.

You could properly be his, the way he wanted to be yours.

“You are breathtaking, mesh’la…”

The words caught you off guard, your eyes having traveled back down at some point to look over the floral arrangement in your hands now snapped back over to see the clone captain gazing at you lovingly, as if he were looking upon a rare star. “H-Howzer…?”

It seemed as if he were enchanted by something as he stood up from his chair, being drawn in by the longing to touch you, “forgive me, I know this is sudden,” Howzer began in a low tone, his fingers caressing your hand as he approached, removing the jar gently and placing it aside. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you,” the way he breathed your name elicited goosebumps across your arms, his rough fingertips chasing them up to carefully cup your neck. Brown eyes searched yours for any sign of discomfort from his sudden display but he could find nothing of the such, surprise, elation, and confusion perhaps, but not an ounce of displeasure. Your wet cheeks felt warmer and warmer by the second, the restriction of the clothes that clung to your body becoming alarmingly apparent. “I could’ve chosen a better time to do this, I guess.” Chuckling as he wiped away a stray drop of rain that cascaded down your jaw to your neck where his warm hand was still settled.

“No,” your voice startled you, speaking before you even realized, “please…don’t stop. I-I…you’re very warm this close.”

“I could warm you up a little more,” the shift in his eyes was alluring as one of his hands slid back to cradle the back of your head, gently tangling his fingers through your wet hair, tilting your face up a little more to glance between your eyes and lips, “that is, if you’d allowed me, cyra’ika?” His grin melted any resolve you had to deny him for the sake of Rex and any other clones that might need their brother in top shape…not distracted by a romantic entanglement.

Your heart fluttered wildly against your chest, curiosity overwhelming you, “warm me up more?” and at his simple nod, you continued, “h-how?” Your hands finally came up to slide over his wet shirt, settling at his chest as he stepped even further into your space.

“I could tell you,” Howzer began, “or I could show you how beautiful I think you are.” he finished softer, the same fire behind his eyes. Thousands of possibilities ran wild through your mind at the offer, but before you could choose just one, hearing his gruff voice whisper your name to catch your immediate attention. “It would be an honor of mine to kiss you…please.”

Without answering, you surged upward to crash against him in a desperate attempt to quell some of the burning in your chest for the man before you. Howzer grunted at the sensation of feeling you against him finally, tasting your lips for the first time nearly bringing him to his knees. One of his hands stayed firmly at the back of your head, the other sliding down to press your lower back, pushing you further into him- craving the sensation of you everywhere. The way your lips slid against his in a fervent kiss made his head spin and the surprise of this even being reality instead of one of his many dreams caused him to pull away only a fraction to allow a whisper of your name to echo between the two of you. “Yes, Captain?” Your response was just as quiet as his, the title more of a pet name when spoken from your lips, “Don’t tell me you’re going to retreat from me now.” You always had such a sweet, innocent sparkle to your eye, and the way you gazed up at him currently with the same glimmer but this time with a haze of lust and hooded eyes made the clone captain even more resolute in his sudden decision.

“I’d be a kriffing fool, mesh’la,” Howzer pressed an open-mouthed kiss to your lips, his tongue sliding dominantly into your mouth, claiming the treasure that was your moan. “A kriffing fool…” he repeated, almost breathlessly before he dove back in to devour you once more. The heated exchange was nearly dizzying, as he kissed you repeatedly, pulling away for only moments long enough to breathe. You’d always experienced his passion when he spoke of his brothers, the Clone Wars, Ryloth, and even Hera- the little Twi’lek girl he watched over often. But experiencing his passion in such an intimate way felt surreal and with his lips now trailing down your jaw to leave warm kisses against your neck you muttered his name through heavy breaths. “Yes, cyar’ika?” The gravel in his voice vibrated through your body.

“Wh-What do those words-” you were interrupted by a sudden gasp as he pulled aside the wet shoulder of your shirt to kiss your wet skin, “those words mean…the names you call me.”

Howzer hummed in pleasure at your question, kissing back along to your collarbone, “my Mando’a pet names for you,” he began, only stopping to speak against your cold skin, “Mesh’la,” he kissed your clavicle, “means beautiful. Which you are, to me.” Lips leaving kisses across to the other shoulder, “Cyar’ika” a warm open-mouthed kiss to the juncture between your neck and shoulder, “means darling, or sweetheart- interchangeably. And you are both of those things, my darling and my sweetheart.” His whispers only heightened the sensation of his kisses against your skin. “Cyare”, this one he paused for a moment, considering if he should give the truth of the definition to you, or what others could use the word to mean. As his lips kissed up the column of your neck, Howzer felt the way your hands gripped at the cloth of his shirt, fortifying his determination. Leaving a kiss just below your ear he whispered, “Mean beloved.” Your shuttering gasp made him smile against your skin, “which you are. You are my beloved.”

It felt like a dream as you felt him encircle you within his arms, head rising to meet your eyes once more, his damp hair, you noticed, having come to fall back onto his forehead. “You are everything I never even considered and if you’ll continue to let me, I would love to show you just how deeply I care about you, mesh’la.” His eyes spoke more than his words, the way they glimmered eagerly to shower you with his affection.

It felt as if your heart were bound to burst upon all of the sudden emotions, but you merely took a deep breath and matched his growing smile, “I would love that, Howzer. Please, show me how much you care about me, so that I may do the same for you.”

Mischief filled his smile as he caressed your cheek adoringly, “Then if you don’t, let’s get you out of these drenched clothes, what do you say?”

[alexiela73]

Hello! I saw that your requests were open and was wondering if I could please request something for Hanzo? I couldn't find it in your rules, but if you feel uncomfortable writing this, please just ignore it!

How would Hanzo react if his s/o wanted to start a family with him after being together for some time? How would he handle what happens next/during pregnancy? 🙈 Thank you in advance and have a good day!

No worries! This isn't uncomfortable

Hanzo:

The two of you had been together for a years now

While the two of you would have discussions sometimes about plans, Hanzo had always seemed to manage to avoid the talk of family

The two of you were engaged, for heavens sake. It felt a realization to you, really, but the two of you had never really discussed about having children

And this last year...you had been thinking of it more and more

You always knew you wanted to have a family, but you'd thought there was plenty of time to figure that out with him. Except things had gotten more and more serious and the topic never came up

Finally, Hanzo came home one day to you pacing in the living room. You had a nervous energy to you, and Hanzo wondered if perhaps you'd accidentally dyed one of his dragons in some semi-permanent color again

"Is everything alright?" he'd asked, coming to embrace you and place a soft kiss on your cheek, before sitting.

"Yes! Yes," you said, knowing it was important he be seated and comfortable before you brought up the topic. "I just thought we should talk."

Hanzo winced slightly- it was never a good sign, he thought. "I...see," he said. "Well, please. Tell me what it is that has you so restless, my blossom."

After a moment of wringing your hands, you moved to kneel in front of him and rested your hands on his knees. Very serious was the eye contact you made with him, and honestly he felt like he needed to brace himself.

"I want to discuss us...having a family at some point. Maybe some point soon. Like, maybe we could start trying...now?" you said.

You expected him to get upset, or uncomfortable, and immediately started to ramble, even as he slowly rubbed his chin.

"I realized we'd never talked about it but I've always wanted a big family and we're getting married so its really something we should discuss, and I really can see us having some of the cutest children, and hanzo you'd be such a good dad, I really just know it-" your words kept coming faster and faster, really with no end.

You almost didn't hear when Hanzo after a moment said, "Alright, y/n. We can start trying."

The words had you screeching to a halt.

Staring at him perplexed, you narrowed your eyes. "Really?" you said, wondering if you'd missed something.

Hanzo wasn't big on change- he also usually liked time to think on things. Weigh the pros and cons. For him to agree so readily...

"You'd be a great parent, and I for one, would love a little girl to read stories to. We should try immediately," he said. "We'll have to find a surrogate, of course, since neither of us are able to conceive. This is rather exciting."

The more he spoke, the more you wondered if this was your fiancee. "....Are you sure? You don't need time?" you asked slowly.

"Time for what? It'll take nine months for a baby to arrive- I've plenty of time to regret my thoughts later. Right now, I wish for this- I wish to grow with you. To see a little you has been a great desire of mine," Hanzo said, brushing his finger across your cheek.

When it hit you that Hanzo was actually on board with this, there was a pause before you squealed and threw your arms around him.

"Oh my god!" you gasped, pressing kisses over his face before you threw your hands in the air. "We're having a baby! We're having a baby!!!!!!!"

"We're having a baby, my love," he said affectionately. Seeing you so overjoyed was the highlight of his day.

You held onto him a bit longer, before looking seriously at him. "You can't smother the surrogate."

"Of course not. I will simply make sure they are attending their duties for the safety of our daughter," he said.

When the two of you finally were pregnant, it was the most joyous day of both of your lives.

Not the surrogates- Hanzo was very much involved, giving vitamins, taking them to their appointments, being rather bossy...

But you could tell, Hanzo in his way was very, very excited to meet the future baby. He just wanted to take care of them.

He made this beautiful baby room, with help of course, and hanging above the crib is a little dragon night light.

[thesilverlady]

Omg you ship book rhaegon and lucemond before the show? One of the rare few (sorry i just saw your prev ask while browsing those two tags). Because of that i would love to know your thoughts seeing these two ships pop off because of the show (especially lucemond since its top 3 popular ship in hotd fandom). What does it feel like seeing these crack ship before in your head to suddenly gain sm popularity now? Also i really want to know the difference between the book ships and the show ships and why the book ship attracted you initially? Thanks in advance if you ever answer!

hi! no need to apologize 🥰 Yeah I shipped both of these pre-show and it was definitely an experience. There were 0 lucemond fics and only 2 rhaegon ones to which I still have them bookmarked out of nostalgia 🙈

about the first question: my thoughts upon seeing these two ships pop off are kinda contradictory. For rhaegon, I'm glad people see the potential but due to hotd portrayal lots of the fics are smut (which I have no problem with ofc but I generally prefer plot fics) or some characterizations are entirely based on the show (like Aegon being an airhead and only a toy with 0 ambition /Rhaenyra being manipulative and always in control etc) So i leave a kudo for support and hope I'll find what I'm looking for later.

With lucemond I have a better luck because the community is much bigger, and there's so much variety to choose from. I'm very satisfied with them rising to top 3, and I hope they stay there.

So I'd say overall a mixed of bittersweet and smugness. Trust me, if I had a coin for the amount of times I've been called delulu for shipping these ships pre-show I'd be rich by now. There's also a certain amount of validation that comes with finally being able to actually speak about these pairs without worrying too much that a mob will start throwing you tomatoes. And all fanarts are absolutely a treat. 😊

in regards of the differences between book ships vs the show ships, keep in mind i don't speak for the entire rhaegon/lucemond community and I know a big bunch will even disagree with this:

for lucemond, I admit the show did more for them in certain aspects. Like growing up together, certain camera angle choices etc The big difference is again the characterization - which the show ignores a lot. Basically what hotd does is change traits but keep the results the same. So for example, Aemond in the show is supposed to be this calm/in control guy who is into philosophy and history and is more "suitable" to be king compared to his elder brother, but then you have his canon actions (insulting/challenging/chasing an envoy) coming up and that hardly makes sense. In f&b the antagonism is built more properly and you can see why the characters do what they do.

for rhaegon, we didn't even have any scene of the two together (a crime truly) but lots of people find the actors attractive and others love the people-from-opposite-side that goes on with team black/green. So I'd say show rhaegon is mostly vibes while in the book i found things to grab onto.

In f&b we already get seeds to plant the idea from the moment Aegon is born. Otto constantly brought up the succession order so many times he was fired because of it.

Then there's the entire post-daemyra drama when Rhaneyra is still looking for a husband and Alicent kept suggesting for Aegon to be betrothed to Rhaenyra. We learn from that paragraph that "the two half-siblings had never gotten on well" which let's be for real, already sets for an interesting drama if the marriage was to happen.

We also have Aegon's first refusal of the throne before Cole added preasure. “My sister is the heir, not me. What sort of brother steals his sister’s birthright?” I've seen some people (usually antis) believing that perhaps he never said this and the Septon lied to make him look good. Well, I say that's bs because I always believe the truth in f&b is somewhere in between so this moment definitely happened and given how we knew the two didn't even get along in childhood, I find it a very interesting development.

And of course I can't forget Rhaenyra's iconic death - which is by Aegon's dragon and I can delude myself into getting some crimes of passion ™ vibes

As for lucemond, I don't really have anything deep to say. 😅. The fight that costed Aemond his eye + the quote "Prince Lucerys might have been able to outfly his pursuer, [...] but the day was as black as Prince Aemond’s heart" were kinda enough for me to go 👀 oh he truly hates him..... You see, the fight that made Aemond lose his eye was kinda more brutal; he had 3 kids to deal with, not 5. And they were all so young in comparison. Jace was 6, Luke 5 and Joffrey 3 while Aemond was 10. He was able to beat them all until Lucerys slashed him across the face and I imagine he took such a huge hit on his pride because of it.

When they all have the family dinner years later we're told that "Aemond had become a dangerous swordsman [...] but remained a wild and willful child, hot-tempered and unforgiving." So I thought those scenes + lucerys death kinda serve the obsessed trope™ which I'm very into

I hope my reply was intelligible ♥ it's 3 am as I'm writing this so I imagine i may have not explained some stuff properly. Either way let me know and thank you for the ask.

[eclairfair98]

I just wanted to say I’ve kept up with your fic rather religiously and it’s one of my absolute favorites to the point where I refused to read the final chapter until I re-read the whole thing. What a beautiful story you created. You have a gift.

Hii, marisatomay, I’d like to start off by apologising for how long it took me to get around to answering your ask 🙈❤️ (was trying to figure out what I wanted to say, and how I wanted to say it, sorry X’D), and thanking you for all your love and support!! 👐🏼🌻 This fic’s the first thing I’ve written written since my 12th grade grammar exam (I think I wrote a 500-word picture-composition on a black-and-white photo of two kids playing in the rain, if I’m not mistaken 😂), and many drafts later, it’s still riddled with little-big mistakes (am planning on doing a final round of edits to flesh out/improve some of the things I wanna work on in the earlier chapters, before I bid farewell to these characters for good 🤞🏼). Which is why, I’m so grateful and pleased that you’d consider my work to be one of your favourites :’) Really, you’re too kind, thank you so much!! ❤️🫂

Now, I must confess, that I do have some residual guilt with regards to the story 🙈 I wrote omegaverse ‘cause I wanted to explore the socio-cultural implications of this made-up biology (a teeny-tiny difference in a chromosome somewhere in an individual’s genotype, that results in a difference in their phenotype), that ends up determining a person’s place in society (a reflection of our world, only much darker, with explicitly discriminative policies/laws still in place in the 21st century)? I set out to tell a story about two people who grow up wanting more or less the same things (to serve their country, and honour their fathers’ legacies — whatever that means to them, individually), who were then offered vastly different opportunities by their world. And while Tom and Pete started their journey with us on a very unequal footing, I’d promised myself that they’d end it, as equals. I worked to that end with the constitutional amendment, and universal suffrage, and the honest conversation they had about the state of their marriage. But somewhere along the way, I realised that their past really does cast long shadows, that I can’t resolve all of their issues, tie everything up in a neat little bow at the end. And it occurred to me, that I had to be okay with that.

There’s a book called Sapiens, in which the author talks about how (I’m paraphrasing here) everything that isn’t a scientifically-proven fact, is a myth. How the sharing of collective myths (capitalism, money, nation, God), has helped shape the foundations of human civilisation. And that’s something something that really stuck with me, ‘cause if that’s true, then maybe we owe it to ourselves, to the world, to tell the right stories, to believe in the right myths? I’m not saying that every story should have a moral or a message (‘cause that’s just not true; people write to have fun, and what can be more justified than making yourself feel good with a creative outlet that also gives other people joy?) I guess, I’m just saying that I would’ve liked to tell a story with a better, more definitive message? My Tom and Pete are far from perfect people, and their relationship is flawed, as well (in some ways, all of their problems are present from the very beginning). The optimism they have for their future, doesn’t match up to their reality. Fate leads them down different roads, and although their intentions are pure, they do end up hurting the people they love. They’re not soulmates. They’re not ‘made for each other’. There’s a chance that they’d have had happier ‘easier’ lives with different partners. That they wouldn’t have made the same choices had their circumstances been different. But, they’re both inherently good people who keep trying to work on their relationship, to find common ground. To choose love and hope. To be better for each other. And I guess, therein lies their (and my own) saving grace… :’) ❤️

[writtenonreceipts]

Hi friend! How are you today?

I have an idea for a multichapter fanfic but I've never written one before and usually my fics are are more or less 1.5k words long and oneshots. I wrote a oneshot of around 3k once, but that's it. I don't know if it is because English isn't my first language and because I've been told once that I tend to focus too much on descriptions instead of narration, but it looks like to me that I have some sort of "summarizing style" 🥲 also, I write with fear of commitment to long-term fics, as I tend to loose focus and feel drained by the idea of writing so much. Even if I enjoy sitting with my laptop and write a lot (it's satisfying reducing the zoom on Word and watch how many pages I've completed 🙈)

Please, do you have any tips about not fearing a project? How did you stay focused writing FTLOTG and any other multichapter fic you have? And which is the minimum word count for a chapter, in your opinion?

Thank you for reading my ask!

Hey friend! I’m doing well, kept thinking today was Monday when in fact, it is not, haha! So I kept being pleasantly surprised tomorrow is Thursday, thus almost the weekend…any ways

Thanks for reaching out!  As usual once I start talking I don’t shut up.  Made worse that this is written and no one is here to physically restrain me from continuing…take what I say as it works best for you!

First and foremost, all the encouragement and excitement I could possibly rain down on you, I am right now.  Multi-chapters are so much fun, but it is a bit terrifying to take the plunge with.  I think the most important thing to remember is making your style your own and using that to your advantage.  There’s no right or wrong way to tell a story and finding what works best for YOU is the most important part.

Admission time—I am always terrified.  I have been writing for a long time now—not just fic.  I’ve written a few OG novels in between fic and such and really?  It is scary!  Especially when it’s a longer project that you are excited about and really want to share but worry about how well you’ve written or if anyone will like it or if you’ve just wasted time.  (Spoiler: I don’t believe you’re ever wasting time when you’re creating/writing.)

The more I’ve written the more I’ve come to the unfortunate conclusion that plotting is actually really good for your story.  I usually love starting with my random idea (Aelin is a journalist and has to put up with Rowan being a jerk and the tension that flares between them) and just going for it.  FTLOTG mostly came around by me flying by the seat of my pants, only planning when I had to.  When I knew how it was going to end, that’s what gave me a little better direction on the in between.  But if I had taken more time to actually plan that story and work on expanding the plot and characters, I think I would have been more satisfied.

Plotting and outlining also are great ways for you to stay excited and see where the story comes together.

SWAK is one that I’ve plotted out a bit and I can see where different development points have to come in.  Feyre and Rhysand bridging the gap of hating each other?  A hurt comfort scene of Feyre having a nightmare can help with that and open up more ways for them to be vulnerable together.  So now I know how to make the next few chapters a bit more interesting while working with the main plot of the stalker.

Finding these side plots and development features can be a lot of fun and add to the main story so much!  I love the little scenes that at first don’t seem that important but in the end really show off a character’s development.  Like in FTLOTG, Aelin taking Rowan to Malakai’s shop for the first time, how vulnerable that made her but left room for the two to grow together in that moment.

I don’t think there’s any proper word count limit for a chapter, really.  Each chapter can serve as a mini story arc and when the arc is done, it’s done.  I usually tend to aim for 3k words though.  For stories like WWB WWG when I’m trying to get a lot more in (and trying to move plot along a little quicker) I extend that to 5 or 6k words.  But really?  It’s what feels right to you.  I would suggest not cutting off without giving a certain lead in to a fade to black.  Unless it’s a cliffhanger…if that makes sense.  Sometimes abrupt endings just leave a sour taste when there’s nothing BIG happening.  Make sure things are cohesive and work together within the chapter, you could almost consider a chapter a mini-oneshot.  If a chapter feels complete at 1k, that’s it.  If you need to expand some scenes and it gets a little longer, great!  Generally I would say no less then 1k, thought.

But really, and I cannot emphasize this enough, do what works for you! 

Again, sorry, I probably just dumped so much on you that you don’t even care about…I just like talking about writing, haha.  Anyways.  You are going to do great!  The most important thing is to have fun and write for yourself.  If you are proud of the story your telling, that’s all that matters.  Also, your English is great <3

[becca-e-barnes]

I have a dangerous Bucky combo for you ! beefy!dilf!mafia!dbf!husband!Bucky 🙈🙈🙈🙈 too much !? No I don’t think so 🥵

I’m like, piecing this all together in my head rn and trying to work out how I want him to look 😂

And I’m loving the thought of him being your dad’s best friend and they’re in the mafia together? Your dad kept you as far away from his work life as he could and it was only when you turned 18 that he eased you into it but the decision was totally yours.

So that’s maybe how you met Bucky. You were a doe eyed 18-20 year old and he was this huge big bulky, intimidating man but he had the softest spot for you because you looked like you didn’t belong there in the slightest.

Over the years, Bucky and his wife had a couple of kids, two adorable little boys that caused just as much havoc as Bucky himself and you were kind enough to look after them when need be.

But after looking after the boys for a bit, you started to notice Bucky’s wife went out more and more. She was rarely with her husband and as much as you didn’t want to interfere with his personal life, you started noticing changes around the house. Maybe a tie stuffed down the side of the couch that you’d never seen bucky wear or a pair of men’s shoes in Mrs Barnes’ closet that were a couple of sizes too small for her husband

After a while, their marriage falls apart, maybe Bucky finds out about the affair or maybe she leaves him for the other man but either way, Bucky becomes a single father with joint custody of his boys but a crazy work life that he slows down so he can spend more time with his children

So you keep babysitting when you need to as his boys grow up and then maybe things start to develop between you and Bucky? Because he’d absolutely admire the long hours you put in to make sure his boys are safe while he’s at work and his heart melts every time one of them falls and gets a lil scratch on their knee and they want you to make it better.

[21-wishes]

Let’s hope this reblog isn’t as long as the chapter 🤣😅🙈

Reading about Riley’s past makes everything make so much more sense. She wasn’t toxic and chaotic from the get go. Shit happened. And when enough shit happens, it’s sometimes hard to keep a positive outlook.

Pretty intoxicating stuff if you ask me.

It’s easy to find someone physically attractive. The challenge comes when discovering their personality and thoughts. So I’m definitely with Riley on this, finding someone that can hold interesting conversation and actually listens really is intoxicating stuff.

After high school a lot of the athletic guys told me they had crushes on me, but they never asked me out because they thought I was too smart for them, and I would have rejected them. The boys I met in my advanced AP classes and debate club had similar stories. They developed crushes, but thought I was too pretty and would have rejected them.

The things fear and fear of rejections make you miss.

Then I hit college and discovered the very real power I wielded over men.

College is a whole other arena 😂🤣

He held my beating heart in the palm of his hand.

🥺🥺💔💔💔

So, in way of self-care, I fell back into Max's arms, and his bed. And Drake's.

Self care 🤣🤣🤣♥️

There has always been some kind of magnetism pulling us together. I know exactly where he’s at in a room without even looking. I can literally feel him. It’s crazy. It’s insane. It’s fucking amazing. That energy, that pull his body has on mine is what keeps me anchored in this realm of existence, I’m sure of it.

Drake Walker is attached to me by some kind of cosmic decree that I have never been able to figure out.

Holy shit 😳😳😍

You will notice throughout this reblog how much I love the way you describe things 😅♥️

If he was going to do stupid shit to protect me, then I was going to do smart shit to protect him.

I love her 🤣🤣🤣 like yea he’s hot and he’ll do anything for me and I love him, but dammit if he’s not an idiot sometimes 🤣♥️♥️

Did I mention that I’m just two classes shy of a master’s degree in political science?

I love this so much. Just because she worked as waitress doesn’t mean she’s not smart enough or capable enough. But people will see what they want to see.

Ironic that, later on, Drake would question if my love for him was real or if I only wanted him as a cog in my political power structure. Really fucking ironic considering the whole damn thing had been constructed for his benefit. He really is stupid sometimes.

Ok she’s not the type to “wear her heart on her sleeve” but I really noticed this throughout the series. She never lied. To any of them. Did she? I don’t remember her lying at all and I remember that fight they had and he just believed what he wanted to believe. A defense mechanism, I’ll shut you out before you hurt me.

If I need Drake to anchor my body in this plane of existence, I need Max to keep my soul tethered to it.

So in love with this description 😍🤩

And only after I let myself fall in love not once more, but twice more, with both Drake and Max, only then did I realize that staying engaged to Liam, staying in his orbit, interacting with him on a regular basis had let him bury himself under my skin again. Burrow his way back into my heart.

Yessss 😍 it was a slowly but surly kind of situation. They had the toxic interactions and never really communicated but at one point things started to change and we saw Liam grow up and Riley open up little by little.

I kept my babies attached to my body for the first three years of their lives, at least. It’s like all my feelings are intensified compared to normal people, and if I’ve ever loved someone in my life, that doesn’t go away for me.

🥹🥹🥹♥️♥️♥️ Protective Bad Romance Riley 🤩

Where Max was the gentle healing and slow, steady pace that I needed in the immediate aftermath of heartbreak, Drake was electric jolt that I needed to get back to the business of living.

I am SO in love with the description. Like so in love with it!

If it’s true that I would have never fallen for Max, or Drake, if Liam hadn’t cracked my heart open in the first place, it’s also true that I would have never been able to forgive and love Liam again if Max and Drake hadn’t patched up the shattered remains of said heart. They all played a part, and they all earned a place in my life. I fell in love with each of them, separately, differently, uniquely.

They all really did play a part! With how each of them gave/provided different things in the first place. They all were a key factor in her life in different ways.

You know, there is a hint of the fear factor with their rule but not in a tyranny kind of way like Constantine. Like you know what they’re capable from. Don’t test them kind of thing. Or it is respect? I’m not sure how to phrase it. They are loved and respected as rulers m -at least by their own people. Ok I’m not sure if fear is what I want to go with but I’m not sure how to phrase what I want to say 🤣😅

Barthelemy was the father of a man Liam and I both love dearly and deeply, and he still had an unfortunate accident, courtesy of Drake, before he could put his plan into action.

It’s not like any rumors could stick to me anyway. Not with the stellar legal representation I employ. Which brings me to Rashad.

This is probably my favorite part 😍 I love their relationship so much! Is because I never saw that ship coming? The way you write him? All the above.

But the thing that makes him stand out, arguably the sexiest thing about him, is his superior intellect.

Thissssssssssss! I am so in love with this version of Rashad you wrote it’s my favorite I’ve ever read!

We can sit up all night discussing politics, religion, law, technology, history, the topics are endless really.

Finding someone that you can have such conversations with is one of the best things ever. Emphasis on conversations not battles, not mansplaining, not arguing, even if you have different opinions -especially when you have different opinions sometimes!- it helps expand your view of the world and just learn new things. And it’s just so amazing watching someone talk about things with passion and it’s just so damn attractive

When I read about a new scientific advancement, he’s the first person I think of, the one I want to share it with. I save those discoveries for him, and our time together is an outpouring of thoughts and feelings we’ve both been keeping in reserve for each other.

I love this so much! Like, practically speaking, she can just forward the article to him. But no. She saves it, because she loves having the face to face conversation with him and it’s important to her. 🥹♥️

Our time together is always too short.

🥺😭💔💔💔

once Liam and I mended things, it was like a lock clicked in place.

How you made it start and finish with Liam 🥹♥️

Hana, Leo, Liv, I love my friends, but you know, it’s not the same.

Did you ship Leo and Olivia together in this series as well? Asking because of this,

Piss me off a lot and it was going to be your cousin, brother or best friend.

For a minute I imagined her with Leo 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Max has jokingly dubbed me the Teflon Queen, because nothing seems to stick to me.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Liam, Drake and I together are a dangerous force to be reckoned with. Undefeatable. With Max as the steadying, encouraging, comforting support behind us, the three of us are an unstoppable team, steam rolling over any and all obstacles. A powerful and formidable triumvirate, protecting each other and those we love, leading Cordonia into a better and brighter future.

Their dynamic is so unique and delicately balanced and they really do work as a well oiled machine perfectly!

It’s good to be queen.

Dnnsnznxndjrjsjsnsjejsjsjsjjeueueueu

THE PERFECT POETIC ENDING I LOVE IT 🤩🤩🤩

And having it I first person just made it that much more amazing!!!!

Ok, while I’m sad that the “official” story is over, I’m so happy because it turned out to be a very interesting story! And you wrote a book. A BOOK!

I started off being weary of the characters because as a reader, we didn’t know the whole story and their personalities. But bit by bit things come to light and we slowly watch them evolve, grow, learn, and make mistakes. It was one hell of a ride that I wish I can reread it without knowing what happens all over again 🤣♥️ I went from not knowing how to feel about Riley to loving her 😂♥️♥️ You didn’t just write and interesting story, you created complex characters. I had so much fun discussing them with you and reading the story. So, so happy for you and what you accomplished! Congratulations my friend ♥️♥️♥️

Bad Romance Epilogue 5: Riley

Series: Bad Romance

Fandom: The Royal Romance

Pairings for series: Riley x Liam, Liam x Max, Riley x Max, Riley x Drake, Riley x Rashad

Paring this chapter: Riley x all of them, these are her recollections of all four relationships.

Rating: MA

Warnings for this chapter: Language, adult themes

Word Count: 3,795

Special thanks to @21-wishes for pre reading and discussing with me!

A/N: This clocks in at roughly four times longer than the previous four epilogues, which is fair, because they each had their recollections about their relationship with her, but she has her recollections about her relationships with all four of them.

Part of me is really sad because with this final epilogue, the series truly comes to an end. It's bittersweet for me. I'm going to miss this series and these characters.

On the other hand, total word count, with all 36 chapters, five epilogues and two one-shots (so far) comes to 108,643. That's a lot of words. That's a book. I wrote, and finished, a book. While I can't publish or make money on it because it's fan fiction, still....I wrote a book. In four months. That gives me a deep sense of satisfaction, and the confidence to go back to working on my original book.

I know not everyone is a fan of this version of Riley, but I kind of love her. So I hope everyone is kind. What started off as a toxic mess somehow, inexplicably, evolved and transformed into something functional and meaningful. At least to me. I hope at least a few of you have enjoyed reading this as much as I've enjoyed writing it.

My other stuff: Master List.

It started off selfishly on my part. All of it. But can you really blame me? I mean come on, hot rich guy offers to fly me to Europe on a private jet where his family will foot the bill for everything for the foreseeable future and my only job is to buy fancy clothes, on their dime, attend balls and hang out and flirt with the other hot rich guy that I’d already fucked anyway? Are you really going to tell me you wouldn't have done it? It sure beat the holy hell out of waiting tables.

Did I start sleeping with Maxwell Beaumont because I felt like I owed him something? No. I did it because I wanted to. Because that's what I do, whatever the hell I want. Always have. Because you see, the world is a shitty place, my little corner of it was no exception. Everybody else I’d ever known did whatever the fuck they wanted without regard to how it affected others, how it affected me. Why should I be any different? Life is too short.

Like I said, Max was hot, and a good way to kill the time during the social season. I knew I was technically there to win the heart, and the hand, of a prince. But let's be honest, what were the odds he was ever going to want me? No one ever had, not my parents, not the first boy I fell in love with, nobody. I didn't see the likelihood that an actual real life bona fide fucking prince was going to, regardless of what had happened between us in New York. So why the hell not sleep with Max?

But Liam pursued me relentlessly, even though he shouldn't have, even though he wasn't supposed to, even though he was told not to. He was supposed to be giving all the women equal time and an equal chance, but he didn't, not even close. Oh, I mean he did publicly in front of the court but behind the scenes? Not so much. So, I started sleeping with him too. Why not? Two hot rich guys all over me? I didn't see the problem. There was no problem, at least not until I went and fell in love. I blame Liam.

He was charming and appropriately funny in every setting. But when we were alone? He was charming in an entirely different way, sweet, vulnerable, solicitous and hysterically funny in a completely inappropriate way. But the thing that really drew me in was that he listened to me. No, I don't think you understand. I mean he really, actually, actively listened to me.

Look, I've never lacked for male attention, not since puberty anyway. I'm used to men throwing themselves at me, crashing their ships on my rocks as it were. They competed with each other; they did ridiculous things to try and impress me. But what they didn't do was take the time to get to know me. The real me. Because that's not what they cared about. I knew what they cared about. It only took me one heartbreak to decide that I wasn't about that life.

One of the few pieces of wisdom my mother did manage to impart to me at an early age was that in any given relationship there's always one person that loves more than the other, and they are the one that inevitably gets hurt. So, my mission in life had been simple. Always be the one who cares less, always leave first, don't get hurt again. Simple. Until it wasn't.

Liam listened to me, as if my ideas and thoughts actually mattered. Like I was fucking important or something. Like I had an actual brain in my head, like I was more than just my looks. Pretty intoxicating stuff if you ask me.

I know it sounds like a humble brag, but I don’t see the point of false modesty, I know I'm an attractive woman, more attractive than most. And it may sound like a stupid thing to complain about, but being smoking hot isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Can I fuck pretty much whoever I want? Yeah. Can I get stupid men to give me just about whatever I want in the pursuit of that? Again, yeah. And that’s all well and good unless you want more than fun and games. When you’re built like I am, you never really know if someone wants you for you or for the physical aspect that they see, that is pleasing to the eye and to the touch. Liam had a fairly similar problem between the money and the crown, something we actually connected on and commiserated about.

When I was in high school, I was a smart kid. Smart and pretty aren't supposed to go together. After high school a lot of the athletic guys told me they had crushes on me, but they never asked me out because they thought I was too smart for them, and I would have rejected them. The boys I met in my advanced AP classes and debate club had similar stories. They developed crushes, but thought I was too pretty and would have rejected them. Meanwhile I didn't date much in high school. Until I met a boy from a different high school, but he broke my heart.

Then I hit college and discovered the very real power I wielded over men. And it didn't take me long at all to figure out how to use that to my advantage. Men were pigs, they would use a woman for what they wanted and discard her. Why shouldn't I do the same? It got me the things I wanted in life, and a little bit of vengeance on behalf of my whole gender, so why the hell not?

Then Liam Rys came along and changed every damn thing. He treated me like a real person, he listened to my hopes and dreams, he shared his own childhood heartaches and fears with me, and he looked at me like I was the only woman in the world. I decided he was different, that opening up his heart to me meant something, that I had finally found something real. And I fell right the fuck in love with him. He held my beating heart in the palm of his hand.

So, you can imagine how gutted I was when it appeared that it had all been an elaborate lie and he was just like all the others, only worse because I had believed him, trusted him, let myself fall in love with him. I broke my own rules, I did the thing I wasn't supposed to do.

I had only myself to blame. I should never have let my guard down. So, in way of self-care, I fell back into Max's arms, and his bed. And Drake's.

If there's one thing I learned in college it’s that the best way to get over one man is to get under another. So that's what I did. And listen, I had always had a philosophy: piss me off a little and I was definitely going to sleep with one of your friends. Piss me off a lot and it was going to be your cousin, brother or best friend. I like to twist the knife where it hurts the most. But even so, that's not really why I started with Drake, though it was a definite fringe benefit.

Watching Liam squirm, watching the low-key fury that he could do nothing about with every brush of my lips across Drake’s, with ever loving caress I gave him, was just the cherry on top of my sundae. It was much less than what he deserved for tricking me into thinking he was different, for making me love him then breaking my heart.

But if Liam owns my heart, then Drake owns my body. That’s now as shallow as it sounds. The way my body responds to his is out of my control and always has been. Being close to him without touching is an actual, physical struggle. A hard one. There has always been some kind of magnetism pulling us together. I know exactly where he’s at in a room without even looking. I can literally feel him. It’s crazy. It’s insane. It’s fucking amazing. That energy, that pull his body has on mine is what keeps me anchored in this realm of existence, I’m sure of it.

Drake Walker is attached to me by some kind of cosmic decree that I have never been able to figure out. He killed Tariq over me and damn near killed the king of Auvernal and started a war. He only thinks about me, ever, he doesn’t even consider consequences to himself when he undertakes these things. That’s why I have to do it for him. I can’t let him destroy himself protecting me. After Tariq’s death, I realized that the system wasn’t going to do its job, that no one had his back, that no one was going to protect him! No one but me. That was when I started amassing political power. It was all for him.

If he was going to do stupid shit to protect me, then I was going to do smart shit to protect him. I was going to do whatever I had to do. Even marrying the man that shattered my heart.

Did I mention that I’m just two classes shy of a master’s degree in political science? People often dismiss me because, again, smart and pretty aren’t supposed to go together, but in truth, I was probably wildly more qualified for the job of queen than most of the snobby bitches that looked down on me. While they were learning how to sip tea and play piano, I was learning how governments work, and how wars happen, or get avoided. I knew how the game was played. Add in my ability to manipulate people, especially men, and it was time to get serious about that queen thing.

Though Liam and I found our way back to each other eventually, at the time, I was still furious with him, and my only focus was Drake, but I decided to stop fighting the engagement. If Liam wanted me to be queen, I’d be queen, and I’d use that power to help Drake. But I wasn’t by God doing it on Liam’s fucking terms. So, I set some events in motion that gave me leverage to amend the contract, and I made damn sure the new version protected Drake and Max.

Then I set out to get Drake out of the mess he was in because of me. I secured the best lawyer Cordonia had to offer and I made sure Liam pulled the correct strings behind the scenes. I campaigned on his behalf, I lined up character witnesses, I had a conversation with Tariq’s brother, I made sure Drake was exonerated, that was all me.  

Ironic that, later on, Drake would question if my love for him was real or if I only wanted him as a cog in my political power structure. Really fucking ironic considering the whole damn thing had been constructed for his benefit. He really is stupid sometimes.

And through all of that, after Liam had broken my heart in two, and when Drake was fighting against me, making it harder for me to help him, Max was there. Max was just always fucking there!

There was literally nothing I could say, nothing I could do that pushed him away. And trust me, I tried. I know that sounds horrible. Max is the sweetest, most genuine, most giving, loving person I know. But that’s what I had thought about Liam, and he’d broken my heart. So, I pushed Max away. I used him for sex, I used him for comfort, I used him as my fallback position. And he let me. But more than that, he offered nothing but support, he just kept being there, and it felt good when I was with him. I don’t just mean in a sexual way.

Slowly I started to realize that the chaos boiling inside me was somehow muted when he was there. And he was always there. He never failed me. He never disappointed me. He never left. He never hurt me, and he refused to let me push him away.

I once referred to him as my emotional support boyfriend and that isn’t far from the truth. Max balances me. He calms my rages and soothes my rough edges. The turbulent waters in my mind churn less when he’s around, the raging infernos in my heart cool in his presence. He tames me. He fucking tames me, and I don’t even know how or why. He does it just by existing. If I need Drake to anchor my body in this plane of existence, I need Max to keep my soul tethered to it. I’m certain, that without him, I would have spontaneously combusted a long time ago.

And only after I let myself fall in love not once more, but twice more, with both Drake and Max, only then did I realize that staying engaged to Liam, staying in his orbit, interacting with him on a regular basis had let him bury himself under my skin again. Burrow his way back into my heart.

Oh, who am I kidding? He never left. I tried so hard to push him out of my heart. I couldn’t.

Liam was the first man to love me properly. To show me what that meant, what that felt like and I think somewhere deep down inside, I knew it wasn’t over. That it would never, could never, be over. My heart recognized his, like they beat in the same rhythm or something. Somehow, I don’t think I would have been capable of loving anyone else, ever, if Liam hadn’t breached my protective walls in the first place. It’s like he possessed some kind of secret code. He was the one that broke my heart open and once I started to let myself actually feel, well, the rest is history. Literally.

How was I supposed to choose between them? I wanted, no I needed them all. I still do. I always will.

You might think it’s not possible to truly love more than one person at a time. You would be wrong. It’s not that I love less. My love is not somehow divided between them, it’s not a finite supply, dwindling with each person that holds a piece of it. I used to believe there was something wrong with me because conventional wisdom says there is. But if anything, what I’ve discovered is that I love more!

I have always felt things more deeply than others. I learned as a child that I couldn’t watch the news. Long after my mother had clicked the TV off and moved on with her life, I’d be crying in a corner over the story about the murdered child or car collision that took out a family of five. It’s why I had to shut those parts of myself off after my first heartbreak. I swear I feel everything so much more! Everything.  

I’ve always known that my sex drive in largely in overdrive, but once I had children, I discovered that so is my mothering instinct. I kept my babies attached to my body for the first three years of their lives, at least. It’s like all my feelings are intensified compared to normal people, and if I’ve ever loved someone in my life, that doesn’t go away for me.

I know I’m a lot. But the over-the-top reactions, the rages, the jealousy, the going to any lengths for those I love, it’s all part of the same basic malfunction. But despite outside appearances, despite judgements from people who think that only sexual fidelity equals real love, the upside to being with me is that I love deeply, fiercely, truly. I’m loyal in every way that matters. I would kill for someone I love. I sort of have.

So, like I said, I blame Liam. He was the codebreaker that opened up my heart in the first place, then left it vulnerable. Of course, my newly opened, bleeding, battered heart was going to fall for Max, who nurtured and shielded it. Of course, I was going to be drawn back to Drake who commanded my whole body to his side just by existing, who literally killed a man defending me. Of course, my fractured, trying to mend, longing for good feelings again heart was going to fall for him, from the moment I climbed on the back of his bike in Fydelia.

Where Max was the gentle healing and slow, steady pace that I needed in the immediate aftermath of heartbreak, Drake was electric jolt that I needed to get back to the business of living.

If it’s true that I would have never fallen for Max, or Drake, if Liam hadn’t cracked my heart open in the first place, it’s also true that I would have never been able to forgive and love Liam again if Max and Drake hadn’t patched up the shattered remains of said heart. They all played a part, and they all earned a place in my life. I fell in love with each of them, separately, differently, uniquely.

So no, I was not giving up any of them.

You would think the public would have noticed something, especially when three of our five children looked nothing like Liam but if anyone noticed, no one mentioned it.

I’m sure that’s partly because my enemies had a habit of bad luck befalling them. Tariq Lambros is dead, Fredrick Monsommer is dead, to name just two. Barthelemy Beaumont had once threatened to take my child from me. Taking the throne was secondary in my mind. No one threatens my children. No one. Barthelemy was the father of a man Liam and I both love dearly and deeply, and he still had an unfortunate accident, courtesy of Drake, before he could put his plan into action. At some point, people did learn that it wasn’t wise to cross me.

But the main reason, I think, is that once the Cordonian people got it into their heads that I had somehow helped Drake get away with murdering the slimy degenerate that had killed his sister, they decided that I could do no wrong. I may or may not have helped spur those rumors on. Add to that the incentives that I’ve spearheaded over the years that help the actual people and not just the nobility and I am above approach in their eyes. In short, I’m bulletproof. The public and the press fucking love me.

It’s not like any rumors could stick to me anyway. Not with the stellar legal representation I employ. Which brings me to Rashad.

He’s a shark, legally speaking. What Drake is to my physical safety, Rashad is to my legal safety. He’s what they mean when they say release the hounds. He’s that damn good at his job. The best. I would retain his legal services no matter what. But he’s more than that to me.

He’s an attractive man. Just ask the Cordonian Star, they’ve named him most eligible bachelor eight times. But the thing that makes him stand out, arguably the sexiest thing about him, is his superior intellect. We can sit up all night discussing politics, religion, law, technology, history, the topics are endless really. He keeps up with me mentally and that’s no easy feat. When I read about a new scientific advancement, he’s the first person I think of, the one I want to share it with. I save those discoveries for him, and our time together is an outpouring of thoughts and feelings we’ve both been keeping in reserve for each other. Our time together is always too short.

He is a stunningly beautiful man, but that alone wouldn’t have kept me coming back all this time. The deep friendship we’ve built over the years is something I truly cherish. I trust him. I respect him. I like him.

Do I love him? Yes, I suppose I do, a bit. There is a piece of my heart that’s his and his alone.

Maybe the exact whirlwind that occurred after the coronation was what was needed for things to happen the way they did. It was the perfect storm of heartbreak, tragedy, and self-discovery and only those that got sucked into the vortex were able to enter, to find a place in my heart. Because once everything calmed down, once Liam and I mended things, it was like a lock clicked in place. Everyone inside was in, and anyone outside, was out. The die was cast.

I’ve been with other people over the years, men and women alike, but never as anything more than casual sex and almost always in the context of one of my already established relationships. Be that Max and I playing around with a man we picked up at a nightclub or me bringing another woman along occasionally to play with Drake. But loving anyone else? Can’t imagine it. Not like that.

Hana, Leo, Liv, I love my friends, but you know, it’s not the same.

So, I don’t regret anything that happened, because it brought me all of them. And it brought Liam and Max together as well, which has been an unexpected and thrilling dynamic that wouldn’t have happened otherwise.

Max has jokingly dubbed me the Teflon Queen, because nothing seems to stick to me. I have practically flaunted my relationships under the courts’ nose, one of my children looks exactly like Drake, one of them looks exactly like a Beaumont and no one says a word. My enemies have all come to bitter ends, but Drake has never been investigated for any allegations again. Having elevated him to head of the Queen’s Guard, everything he does is a matter of national security. I have made him untouchable. And the rumors that do swirl about his role in my life and his dedication to me, and Liam’s acceptance of it, encouragement of it even, only serve to strengthen and solidify my position.

Liam, Drake and I together are a dangerous force to be reckoned with. Undefeatable. With Max as the steadying, encouraging, comforting support behind us, the three of us are an unstoppable team, steam rolling over any and all obstacles. A powerful and formidable triumvirate, protecting each other and those we love, leading Cordonia into a better and brighter future.

It’s good to be queen.