#this sounds like a horrible euphemism in bad smut

[carolinawrenn]

Wild potato vine (Ipomoea pandurata). Also known as man of the earth or manroot.

[fanpersoningfox]

Fox's basic writing tips

Here we go, people.

This refers mainly to fanfic but it also applies to other writing.

Also, disclaimer, my credentials are a couple thousand words of fanfic and a whole lot of salt, a grain of which you should take this advice with. Some things are a matter of style and that I can't stand them doesn't mean they're objectively bad.

And like, whatever you do, do what makes you happy. If you don't want to follow my advice, by all means don't.

Now. Let's go.

1. Edit your stuff. Seriously.

I know the urge is strong to just post that 600 word one shot you just word-vomited at 3am without editing but please, do all of us a favor and edit your damn fic.

Your writing isn't bad, it's just badly edited. The first draft always sucks but editing can and will do wonders.

If I posted R&L as I write it, I'd also physically cringe when reading it.

1.a. This also applies to smut. This especially applies to smut.

2. Get a beta-reader.

Find someone to give you a second opinion on your writing. Ask a friend, a mutual, someone in the same fandom, your sister, your English teacher, a rando on the street. Obviously it's ideal if they know stuff about writing, too, but even if not they will find mistakes you didn't catch and (hopefully) stop you from using the phrase "cerulean orbs" or "slick channel".

3. Don't blindly follow others.

There are certain tropes or phrases or ways of writing certain things that have kind of been established in fanfic writing and everyone uses them, regardless of the fact that they just sound awful. Examples include comparing eyes to gemstones, various horrible euphemisms for penis, and unreasonable amounts of smirking. You can totally make use of these things, we all pick up things from the stuff we read, but be mindful of it.

3.a. If you're writing in a language that's not your native one, look up the translation of words before you copy them from others.

(I firmly believe "pistoning hips" wouldn't be a thing if people actually did this.)

4. Repeating words is not a deadly sin, but bad synonyms are.

Of course you don't want to use the same word five times in three sentences but for the love of God keep the synonyms at bay. This especially applies to epithets ("the tall one").

4.a. This also applies to names.

This especially applies to names. I know it's hard to write about two people with the same pronouns but epithets like "the tall one", "the blue eyed woman", "the older man", even "the human" do not sound any better than using the name thrice. Trust me on this.

4.b. This also applies to smut.

This especially applies to smut. Just use the word "cock". Please.

(I am willing to make a part 2 just on how to write smut, hmu.)

5. Only describe what's relevant.

This is a big one in my opinion. People in fanfic tend to over describe characters. We know what these characters look like. It's fanfic. You don't have to tell the reader that Fritz Schiller has red hair or that Harry Potter has green eyes. We all know that.

Only describe what your POV character notices.

So when does it make sense to mention these things? When your POV character notices them - when they meet a character for the first time, or when they're longingly staring at them getting lost in thought instead of paying attention to what the other's saying.

This points also ties back to what I said under 4. about epithets. There is no point in referring to someone as "the blond guy" unless he's in a situation where his hair color is relevant - for example when he's surrounded by gingers or when the setting sun is making his hair look like glowing gold. There is no point in mentioning someone's eye color every time you talk about their facial expression - just let them roll their eyes, you don't have to point out that they're the color of warm honey (especially if it happens repeatedly; we know the eye color, we really do, you don't have to keep mentioning it).

If we know their name, use their name. The only reasonable situation to refer to someone as "the dark haired police man" is when the POV character doesn't know the dude's name and has to distinguish him from the blond policeman and the dark haired other man.

And while I'm at it, eye color is the most overrated feature. Unless you're actively staring into someone's eyes because you're angry or crushing, you don't pay attention to it. It doesn't tell you shit about people either. It's much more interesting if their eyeliner is smeared or their eyes are swollen or sunken in or surrounded by laughing wrinkles or if they're wearing fake lashes or glasses or if they have a tiny mole next to the corner of their eye.

Alright, that's it for now.

Feel free to ask me stuff and let me know if you'd like some more!