#this song had been stuck in my head for the past two days
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in case you're wondering I am dancing around my living room to the same shit that I'm always listening to. that same shit is cavetown.
#HEHEH#this song had been stuck in my head for the past two days#ive literally only been listening to cavetown for an entire week#i listened to a few other songs because my cousin wanted me to#but thats it#i also. maybe. probably. spent literally all of my money. on tickets. to go see him this summer. i have twenty dollars left.#cavetown
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i love you, i'm sorry.
a/n: requested based on a prompt list - the dialogue prompt is in bold! gif not mine, all credits to the creator (also the title has nothing to do with the song, it was just stuck in my head lol)
pairing: jj maybank x reader
summary: you and jj maybank drunkenly hooked up a few nights ago, and neither of you know how to deal with that. (routledge!reader)
word count: 3k
warnings: fluff/humor, angst w/ a happy ending, implied sexual content, drinking, semi-proofread, I think that's it
John Booker Routledge never thought he’d actually have to tell his best friend JJ Maybank that his little sister was off limits. Not once did it ever occur to him that JJ would ever think of you in a different way; he hardly liked to consider the idea that you dated anyone in the first place, let alone that you’d express any interest in the man he knew inside-and-out.
But things change and people get older. After you and the rest of the Pogues found El Dorado and began construction on Poguelandia, JJ started to see you differently. Sure, he always found you attractive, but JJ also found every woman he encountered attractive, so he never thought much of it.
And you certainly didn’t ever think of JJ in that way either. At heart, you were a relationship girl; and while the fact that you were single was proof enough that no relationship of yours had worked out in the past, one of your greatest strengths was that you knew what you wanted. You didn’t seek out something casual because you knew you’d be left unfulfilled. You wanted something all-consuming and destined for marriage. Seeing your older brother grow and mature in his relationship with Sarah Cameron only clarified that further. In your mind, if the second-most relationship-allergic person you knew (after JJ of course) was able to dive headfirst into marriage with a girl so remarkably different from himself, then you decided you wouldn’t settle for any less.
Feelings, however, have a funny way of messing with plans and expectations. While JJ had essentially lived with you and your brother for years, building Poguelandia only pushed the two of you even further together. And watching someone so unpredictable and chaotic as JJ tame himself for the sake of his friends and his future stirred something in you that you hadn’t been expecting at all.
Over the months, your interactions with JJ changed, little by little, and for a while neither of you noticed. It just grew natural for JJ to fix something in the bait shop that you were fussing over, or for you to bring JJ a sandwich or a snack while he worked. You found little ways to make the other’s day brighter, even if subconsciously you never even considered why you were doing these little favors in the first place.
What actually brought the two of you together wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, however. One night, after a long day of work on the house, the Pogues found themselves hanging out above the bait shop, buzzed off of beers, seltzers, and a few joints made of flower grown right from Kiara’s secret spot in the garden. And while the rest of the Pogues eventually found their ways inside and to sleep, JJ and you probably drank a bit too much. One thing led to another, and that was the first night you hooked up. It was slow, passionate, and clumsy, and while the both of you would later blame it on the alcohol and the weed, deep inside you were both fully aware that it was simply the end result of months of pining.
And that’s how you found yourself waking up on the hammock above the bait shop in only one of JJ’s t-shirts and a pair of underwear. The combination of the blinding North Carolina sunrise along with John B.’s extremely loud footsteps on the floor below practically forced your eyes open. While you play the night before over in your head, trying to piece it all together, you’re scrambling to get the rest of your clothes on.
Running downstairs with your shoes untied, you let out a huge “oof” as you collide with your brother, almost sending the two of you to the ground.
“Good morning to you, too, sis,” John B. says, his eyes expressing his confusion at the fact that you obviously slept upstairs last night.
“Oh, um, sorry, JB, I guess I just drank too much last night and crashed on the hammock,” you practically vomit out.
“Riiiiight,” John B. responds, clearly not convinced but nonetheless wholly uninterested in this situation in the first place. “Just, uh, go shower. You stink.”
Assuming John B.’s comment is a joke, you let out a laugh that immediately sounds forced. “Yeah, uh, that’s what I planned on.”
John B. shoots you a thumbs-up before making his way behind the counter, clearly prepping to open the bait shop for customers. Deciding to avoid any more awkwardness between the two of you, you begin to make your way back to the house. However, your brain can’t help but consider the possibility that only more awkwardness awaits you back in the house, which you’re really not ready to process. You spin around to face John B. at the entrance to the bait shop. “Hey, uh, is JJ up?”
John B. doesn’t even look up from whatever he’s doing at the counter, clearly focused on something else. “Yeah, he took his bike to the grocery store about ten minutes ago, I think.”
You breathe out a sigh of relief, and then turn back around to make your way into the house. Occupied with trying to wrack your brain about what exactly happened last night, you again stumble into someone else as you walk through the kitchen.
“Ow,” Sarah squeaks.
You immediately apologize, looking her in the eyes. “Oh, I’m sorry. I just, uh, didn’t sleep well last night,” you explain, hoping she’ll move out of the way so you can make your way to your bedroom upstairs.
But Sarah, unfortunately, has the attention to detail that your brother lacks. Looking you in the eyes, her brows furrow. “Did you sleep outside last night?”
You scratch your head. “Uh, yeah. Just, uh, crashed after all those drinks, you know?”
One thing that Sarah does share with your brother, however, is her unwillingness to let things go. Clearly noticing that something is on your mind, her eyes stare into yours, as if she thinks that she can figure out everything about you based on your facial expressions alone. And evidently, she can, because she then proceeds to whisper-yell, “Y/N, is that a hickey?”
She lightly taps a new bruise on your neck that JJ must have left last night, and you can feel your cheeks heat up at the action. You bat her hand away, and she smirks when she realizes what you must be hiding.
“I don’t have time for this,” you blurt out, before maneuvering yourself around Sarah and walking over to the bottom of the stairs.
“Whatever you say,” she taunts behind you, and you can practically hear her giggle as you make your way up the steps.
Once you get to your bedroom, you lock the door behind you. Sliding down the wall, you let out a sigh, grateful that you met no more obstacles on the way upstairs. But as soon as your butt hits the ground, reality comes crashing down, and you realize that you have a much harder obstacle to deal with than running into one of your friends in the hallway. Instead, you have to deal with the fact that you slept with JJ Maybank—the man you’ve known practically your entire life who not only happens to be one of your closest friends, but even more than that, is your brother’s best friend. Yeah, you’re screwed.
For the next few days, JJ avoided you at all costs. He didn’t want to face the consequences of what you’d done, and was worried more than anything that his friendship with you (and John B. for that matter) would be ruined. And while you had the same idea for a while, within only a few days you decided that talking about it was the only way to move forward. Knowing JJ’s extensive dating history, you were convinced that JJ would only tell you that it was a mistake and a regret. You prepared yourself for the negative, and found him alone at night in the employees-only area above the tackle and bait shop.
You carefully tiptoe up the stairs to prevent JJ from getting spooked and immediately bailing on the conversation. When he notices your presence, he shoots up from where he was laying on the hammock, just like you had anticipated. “JJ, we need to talk—”
“Y/N—”
“No, please, JJ, just let me speak,” you clarify, before walking closer to him.
Realizing he doesn’t have any other choice, JJ sighs, gesturing for you to continue.
Working up the nerves, you wring your hands, preparing yourself for a moment that seemed more daunting than any of the actually threatening experiences you’d had with the Pogues over the last few years. “You know me, Jayj. You know that I don’t have one-night stands or casual relationships. And I can’t go on like this, pretending like what happened between us is normal or that I can just ignore it. I know that you’ve probably never had feelings for me, but if I don’t tell you this now, I’ll regret it. I… I like you, JJ.” Taking a breath, you step back, feeling like a weight has been lifted off of your chest. Only now, you have to brace yourself for the inevitable rejection.
Looking into JJ’s eyes, you can’t tell what he’s thinking, and that’s nothing short of terrifying. You’ve known JJ since he was a kid, and he’s not the best liar, so you can usually tell what he’s feeling from the moment you see him. But this time, you’re clueless, and the silence is deafening.
“JJ, please say something. If you’re going to tell me you don’t like me back, then just say it so we can move on and put this behind us.”
He brings his hands to his face, trying to piece the words together. “Just, uh, gimme a minute.” You nod at him, before moving to sit where he’d previously sat on the hammock. You swing your knees up to your chest, hugging them in comfort.
You watch as he paces the floor around you. It’s not long before he speaks, but it feels like hours as you wait.
“Y/N, I… We’ve been friends forever. You, me, and John B. It was the three of us for the longest time and then Pope came and then Kiara and… Uh, I’m getting off track.” He starts fidgeting with the ring on his thumb as he looks down at the ground, preparing for what he’s about to say next. “I won’t lie—you’ve always been hot. Like super fucking hot. And I’m not good at relationships or whatever, but I… I like you, too.”
And your ears can’t believe what they’re hearing, so your head immediately jerks up to meet his eyes. “Wait… you do?”
He nods, and you can feel a smile beginning to form on your face. “Well, then, why didn’t you just say that?” you ask.
“Because it doesn’t matter,” JJ answers, and your heart immediately sinks in your chest, once again. “I can’t do this to John B., Y/N. I just can’t.”
“Who cares about him? He’ll get over it. John B. is not my problem.”
“That’s the point, Y/N! He’ll be there for you no matter what. But the Pogues are basically all I have left. You and John B. are my family, and if I mess shit up with you, I’ll lose you both. And I can’t do that to myself.”
“You won’t mess it up, J,” you reassure, though part of you understands what he’s getting at.
“When have I not messed something up? I mess shit up all the time, and you mean too much to me for me to risk it. You need to go and find someone out there better than me, because as much as it’ll hurt me to see you with someone else, it’d be a lot worse if you were in pain and I was the reason. It’s because I’m in love with you that I wish we’d never done what we did,” he blurts out.
And while you were trying your best to listen to him carefully, all you heard was him telling you that he’s in love with you. “You… You love me?” you whisper, and JJ’s eyes go back to the floor.
“Of course I fucking do! How could I not? You’re gorgeous and funny and weird and you know me better than anyone else, and I’ll never forgive myself if I ruin shit with you. So just let me go, because this is the hardest thing I’ve had to do.”
As you process what JJ says, he rushes down the stairs. The heavy pattern of his boots hitting the wooden floors grabs your attention again, and you sprint downstairs to meet him before he can run away completely. You grab his hand and pull him towards you. When his head moves, you can see tears in his eyes, even as the sky gets darker. “It’s not okay to just leave me here after telling me you love me back,” you choke out.
“We can’t—we’ll never be together,” he bites back, trying to sound angry. But you can read right through him, and he knows it. You drop his arm and reach up to grab his face with your hands. Your thumb wipes away a stray tear.
“JJ, you’re right: I do know you better than anyone else. And yes, you’re not the best at relationships. But don’t you think that with us it could be different? That maybe because we know each other so well we can figure it out together?”
He begins to shake his head, but before he can get any more words out, you continue. “JJ, I know everything about you. I know the worst things you’ve done and the best things. You’re always calling me a know-it-all, and yet right now you don’t seem to believe me when I tell you that I know we can do this. We can do it, and it’ll be hard, but it’ll be worth it because I can’t picture myself loving anyone else the way I love you.” And as the tears stream down your cheeks, JJ inches a bit closer to you.
“You… You love me?”
“Of course I do, you idiot. How could I not? You’re the sweetest, kindest, funniest, bravest person I know and my life would be so unbelievably boring if you weren’t in it.”
His eyes look all over your face, trying to see if he can detect a lie. But all he sees is someone so convinced in their feelings, so articulate, and he can’t believe that it’s possible but he might just love you more than he did five minutes ago.
“Let me deal with John B., okay? I get why you’re scared and I would never want to come between the two of you, but you deserve to be loved, JJ. And I want to be the one who gets to love you.”
As soon as you get the words out, he’s pressing his lips to yours, and you’re so glad he reached out to hold your waist because otherwise you’d be falling to your knees. It’s magical and romantic and you can taste the salty years you’ve both shed. His right hand moves to grab the side of your face and pull you even closer somehow, before moving back down to your waist and squeezing you in anticipation. The two of you break away, panting. He grips you again and gestures for you to jump, which you do, and you wrap your legs around his back. He carries you over to the counter of the bait shop, where he sets you down. Your legs squeeze his, and he grabs ahold of your face with his hands. “Before we um… do anything else… Are you sure?”
You nod immediately. “Babe, I need the words.”
Your heart clenches at the term of affection, and you pull his shirt to bring him even closer to you. “I am absolutely, positively sure that I love you, JJ Maybank.” He grins so wide you start giggling.
He smashes his mouth back to yours, and this time the kiss is hotter and needier. It’s just a mess of clashing teeth, lips, and hands, with little “I love yous” whispered in between.
JJ tugs on the bottom of your shirt, and you break away so that he can lift it off, throwing it somewhere else in the shop. His shirt follows, but before he can unclasp your bra, you push him back. “JJ, I’m not fucking you in the bait shop.”
“It’s dark out and no one’s gonna see—”
You jump down from the counter. “It’s either in the house or in the Twinkie. Your choice,” you challenge, and he rolls his eyes.
“Oh come on, people do it all the time,” he justifies, and you look at him like he’s grown two heads.
“What on earth are you talking about?” you ask.
“Hooking up in the bait shop, duh. I caught Pope and Cleo on top of the freezer once, and I’m pretty sure I saw Kiara making out with her ex-girlfriend behind the counter.”
You roll your eyes. “You are literally proving my point,” you say, and he scratches his head.
“Well, I know for a fact that John B. and Sarah hooked up in the bait shop once and I didn’t see anything!” he explains.
“That’s not any better! You’re talking about my brother!” you whine, and JJ starts to see that you’re not budging.
He lifts you up bridal-style into his arms, and you squeal. “Fine, my lady, my room it is.”
You wrap your arms around his neck. “Have you cleaned it recently?” you ask, knowing how messy his room gets.
“Uh… Like, maybe not super recently. But I can make it nice,” he offers.
You squint. “As nice as my room?”
“Yeah, let’s just go to yours,” he says, and you giggle at how easily he gives in. As he walks down the talk, carrying you in his arms, you can see a smirk grow on his face. “But after we’re done, it’ll be as dirty as mine.”
“JJ!”
so... what did y'all think? I might consider making a part two where john b. finds out. is that something y'all would be interested in??
also... feedback is very much appreciated - pls comment, reblog, send asks, etc.!
#jj maybank#jj maybank x reader#jj maybank imagine#jj maybank fic#jj maybank fluff#jj maybank angst#jj maybank one shot#jj maybank x y/n#jj maybank x you#jj maybank reader insert#jj maybank x routledge!reader#routledge!reader#obx fanfiction#obx x reader#my writing
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How to cure a grump (1)
Summary: You're losing your job on Christmas.
Pairing: CEO/Boss!Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader
Warnings: angst, grumpy Bucky, awful boss
How to cure a grump masterlist
“Santa Claus is coming to town,” you sing along to the song blaring from your phone. You’re, as so often, the last one at the office.
Before the holidays, most of your colleagues try to get out of the office as early as possible. They have better plans than to work like busy ants two days before Christmas.
Sadly, you didn’t get to leave on the clock. Your boss demanded your attention. You couldn’t join your colleagues at the little Christmas party you organized for weeks.
Now they will all exchange the Secret Santa gifts you got for most of them, drink eggnog, and sing awful Christmas songs while you are stuck here with your grumpy boss.
“Miss Y/L/N, I need the numbers now." Mr. Barnes doesn’t even walk toward your desk. He simply barks orders your way.
You heave out a sigh and glance at the stack of papers on your desk. Before you get up to hand Mr. Barnes the numbers he wanted you to finish before the holidays, you save your work.
Grabbing the papers, you silently pray that Mr. Barnes won’t come up with more tasks. It’s long past your work time, and you’re tired and cranky. You’ll need a good night’s sleep and at least a day off before driving home for Christmas.
“Miss Y/L/N,” he barks as you are already halfway toward his office. Mr. Barnes huffs as you stumble over your own feet. “You know, I had better things to do than wait for the numbers. I have been waiting for hours. I think you’re the worst person working here.”
For a second, you’re stunned. You feel like Mr. Barnes slapped you across your face.
“Maybe if you asked the person responsible for the mistake to help you with the numbers, you'd like the outcome better. I worked overtime only to get yelled at!” You gasp. The words just flew out of your mouth, unfiltered and raw with emotions.
“Well, maybe you shouldn’t work here any more then!” He bites back. It wasn’t a surprise to you that Mr. Barnes lost his temper. He’s always been a little hot-headed and grumpy. Mr. Barnes fired people here and there over the years. You just didn’t think you’d be one of them one day.
“You’re firing me after I fixed a mistake someone else made?” You huff and cross your arms over your chest. “I don’t see anyone else standing in line to work through the numbers. I worked overtime before the holidays to do you a favor.”
“That’s your job,” he growls and points at the door. “Or was. I want you to pack your things and don’t come back.”
“Fine,” you huff and turn on your heels, regretting your mishap instantly. You’d apologize and even fall to your knees to get your job back. Sadly, Mr. Barnes is a strict man. He doesn’t accept mistakes or insubordination. Whatever you’d do or say, there was no way he’d give you your job back.
So, you got a box from the storage room, emptied your desk, grabbed your belongings, and left the building for the last time in your life. To hell with this job and your boss.
“Mom, stop asking questions,” you plead as your mother wouldn’t stop asking questions about your job.
“It’s all so exciting. Living in the big city, having friends you meet up at bars like Carrie in Sex and the City, and your job. It sounds wonderful!”
“Mom, I barely made any friends,” you sigh, and try to rub the embarrassment off your face. “I’d call them work friends or acquaintances.”
“I bet they are all too happy to have you around,” she coos and cups your face. “I know my Munchkin conquered the big city in no time.”
“Mom, I—” you sniffle and look away, ashamed. It never gets easy to lie to your mother. “I have to tell you something about the job.”
“What is it, Munchkin?” she asks, looking at you, worry in her eyes. She coos to you as you begin to cry. Starting anew after your long-term boyfriend and fiancé broke things up was the dream you wanted to fulfill. Now, you failed again.
“I got fired yesterday,” you sniff. “I worked overtime, and my boss yelled at me. I fixed someone else’s mistake, and he still yelled at me. I lost it and…” You shake your head and refuse to look at your mother.
“Y/N, that’s not the end of the world.” She wraps you in a warm embrace. The kind of embrace only a mother can give you. You feel warm and safe, remembering all the times she calmed you in times of need. “You’ll find a new job, a better one. If he fired you, that man doesn’t know how to value you.”
“The fuck no!” Bucky flings a stack of papers across the room. He tried to access your account, only to realize he never asked you to reset your password. Now he’s seething because most of your work, except the files you shared with colleagues and him, is password protected. “She forgot to reset the fucking password!”
“Well, you told her to pack her things and leave, Buck. What did you expect to happen?” Steve huffs. He had to leave his cozy home and wife to help Bucky with some unimportant paperwork. “We've got time to fix this until after the holidays.”
“Unimportant to you,” Bucky bites back. “I want this finished before the year ends.”
“Buck,” Steve snorts. “If you need her password, call her.” The blonde shrugs before turning to leave. “I know you are not the best at communicating, but I believe in you. You can handle a phone call with a woman you just fired.”
“I tried more than once,” Bucky snaps at his best friend and business partner. “She won’t answer. The last time I called, she blocked my number.”
“Yeah, because you fired her!” Steve replies, laughing. “I wouldn’t answer any call from an asshole firing me two days before Christmas, either.”
Bucky opens his mouth to reply. He huffs as his friend already walks toward the door.
“What shall I do now? I need the password!”
“If you cannot reach her, go to her home and ask for the password. I will go home now. Please don’t call me during Christmas. Natasha will rip me a new one if I miss Christmas.”
“She’s not home. I was there. Her neighbors told me that Y/N will spend Christmas at her parents’ house. There’s nothing I can do about it.”
“Buck,” Steve laughs. “You can fly to her hometown and ask her for the password. While on your way back, you can celebrate with a pretty stewardess in first class as every Christmas…”
How to cure a grump (2)
#bucky barnes#business au#ceo!bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes x female reader
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"Pick One Moment"
[Spencer Reid x fem!reader]
Masterlist
Summary: A rough case in Dayton, Ohio brings unexpected emotions to the surface for you, forcing you to confront feelings you'd been hiding for years—feelings for Spencer Reid.
Warnings: Fluff, angst, moment of awkwardness
Word Count: 2.0k words
A/N: just based on the lyric 'And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like I love you...I love you' from the song Something Stupid by Frank Sinatra because it's been stuck in my head. I've been planning to write Spence for a while but I've been intimidated.
Staying professional in Dayton, Ohio proved to be a challenge.
It had been a rough case, but what case wasn't, right? Just have to wrap this one up and you can go back to your house and dog.
Okay, fine, this wasn't like most cases at all, not to you anyway. This one had hit particularly close to home. And you didn't like that one bit.
This made you more short-tempered than usual, even snapping at a witness. After a lengthy lecture from Hotch, I mean from the look on his face you would think you had insulted him, he had 'benched' you by having you go through old files that might be related to the UnSub.
Hey, at least you got to do it with Spencer.
After working with him for so many years, you grew quite fond of him. Too fond maybe.
You stared at him going through files with a speed that should not have been human. 20,000 words at a minute, and you thought you were a fast reader.
"Got anything yet, Boy Genius?" you asked, flipping the page of your own file.
He looked up at you. God those eyes...
"No. This one isn't even related to it." he dropped the file on the table.
"Didn't you read the entire thing?"
"Yes," he replied, "It was interesting."
"You find everything interesting."
"Not true," he protested.
You rubbed your eyes, sighing. "Sure, Spence."
He tilted his head at you, a look of concern on his face. Adorable.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
You considered lying, you had been doing that the entire time you had arrived in Dayton after all, but decided against it. "Not really."
"Is it about your family? I thought this case might bring up some bad memories."
You couldn't help but smile at how quickly he had gotten it. "Yeah, something like that."
"Can I help?"
"Can you make memories go poof?"
He actually seemed to ponder it. "No. I'm not sure why you would want to."
"You never wish that you could just forget the bad stuff?" You knew what he had been through, you had seen quite a bit of it.
His brows furrowed. "I don't like the idea of forgetting anything. I mean, Mom forgets enough so I remember for her too."
You realized your mistake and winced. "Spence... God, sorry."
"It's okay," he reassured you. "You're remembering a dark time in your life, it can be overwhelming. Also explains you snapping at the witness, with your nerves on edge."
"Yeah?" You grinned. "It was going to be Morgan but the asshole left before I could. So collateral damage."
He laughed. "He's outside if you want to insult him now. I don't want to be collateral damage too."
"You? Never."
"Never?"
"Never," you repeated.
Oh, how you loved his lopsided grins. "Thank you."
"Always." If you could pick one moment to live in forever, it probably would've been that one.
Minus JJ coming through the door right then. "We got something."
You wanted to throw a file at her. Instead, you get up with a heavy sigh. The sooner you get this done the better, you had to remember that.
~~~
The BAU was heading back to Washington tomorrow, so you could leave this far far behind. Finally. This case taking up two weeks of your life was enough.
You sat at a cafe next to the hotel where you were staying. It was a cozy little place with a mostly brown interior and warm lighting. The scent of freshly brewed coffee and warm pastries filled the air.
You sipped your drink, feeling the cup's warmth in your hands. You had been coming here for the past few days and you had to admit, you would miss this place.
Just then, the door opened, and in walked someone you recognized, glancing around the room before spotting you. With a smile, Spencer made his way over, pulling out a chair across from you.
"Mind if I join you?" he asked.
You smiled back, gesturing to the seat. "Not at all."
He sat down and looked around. "So this is where you disappear to?"
You hummed in confirmation. "it's a nice place to think."
He stared at you for a while before nodding thoughtfully.
"What?" you sipped your coffee.
"Just... Are you feeling better?"
You shrugged. "Yeah, UnSubs behind bars. What more could I want?"
"Closure," he replied quietly.
You pressed your lips together tightly. "It's fine Spence. I'm alright with it."
"I don't think you are."
"Spencer," you said, a hint of warning in your voice, "You want to help, I get it. But not with this. Okay?"
It was an unspoken thing, the way Spencer always seemed to know when you needed space and when you needed someone to push just a little. He respected your boundaries, but there were moments—like this one—when his concern slipped through the cracks.
He sat across from you in that quiet cafe, watching you. You couldn’t tell if he was waiting for you to speak or if he was just giving you the time to process, as he always did.
It had been a rough case, yes, but that wasn’t why you were still here, staring into your coffee like it held all the answers.
Your eyes flickered up to meet his. He was still staring at you, quietly, as if he could see past your walls.
"Spence," you said, your voice quieter than you intended, "I’m fine. Really."
He didn’t respond immediately. His hand rested on the edge of the table, and you could see him fiddling with his fingers. That subtle nervousness he only ever seemed to show when he wasn’t sure what to say, but he knew he needed to say something.
"I don't believe you," he murmured, his voice soft but insistent. “I’ve seen you too many times to believe that everything’s okay, especially when it’s not. You’ve been holding it in, and I know that—"
"Spencer—" you started, but you were too late. He was already talking over you, his voice getting faster.
"Please. I just want to make sure you're alright, okay?" He sighed, his eyes briefly darting away before looking back at you. “I just... I care about you."
Everything felt very... loud. Too loud.
He looked at you expectantly, almost uncertain. Maybe, just maybe, he was waiting for you to make the first move.
You cleared your throat. God, you really hated moments like this, when everything inside you seemed to tremble at the prospect of just being honest.
His hand shifted on the table, and before you could stop it, you had reached out to touch his fingers. It was the smallest of gestures—barely noticeable—but it was enough.
For a long moment, you simply looked at each other, the conversation hanging in the air. There was so much unspoken between you, so much left unsaid. Maybe that was the problem.
Before you could stop yourself, the words spilled out of you, quicker than you could catch them. "I love you."
Spencer's face went completely still, his eyes wide as he processed your confession.
You had not meant to say that. You didn’t. It was an accident. You weren’t ready. You weren’t ready to put that kind of pressure on this, on him, on whatever this was.
But the words had slipped out anyway. You stared at him, feeling the heat rise in your face, hoping the ground would swallow you up.
"Sorry-God, I'm sorry," you quickly got up and rushed out of the cafe.
He just sits there. Frozen.
If you could pick one moment to rewind, it would be this one.
Oh, you fucked up big time.
~~~
You had never been more ready to get home, but unfortunately, there was an hour and thirty minutes on the private plane. With him.
Usually, you would spend an entire flight, after a case well done, talking to Spence. But after yesterday? But not this time. Maybe not ever.
You could feel Spencer’s presence beside you, but he was quiet. So quiet. Not the usual playful banter, no sudden bursts of random trivia or observations. It was almost like he was giving you space... or maybe he was just too uncomfortable to say anything.
Your eyes flickered to him once, twice, each time hoping for some indication of what he was thinking. He was staring out the window, a far-off look in his eyes, his fingers curled loosely around a book in his lap. For a moment, you almost felt the pull to apologize again, but the last thing you wanted to do was make him feel obligated to comfort you. You had put your foot in it already. Now, it was time to ride this out and pray it didn't become permanently awkward.
But Spencer, as always, was unpredictable.
"You don’t have to apologize," he said, his voice quiet, but it still carried across the cabin, cutting through the engine's hum.
You stiffened, eyes fixed on your lap. Had you been that obvious?
"I wasn’t going to," you said, a little too defensively.
He didn’t respond right away. You could feel him looking at you, the weight of his gaze making you want to curl into yourself.
“You know I care about you, right?” He said it so gently, like he wasn’t sure how you were going to take it.
You felt your chest tighten. Care about you. Those words. He was still speaking, still looking at you, but it was hard to focus on his words because everything was spinning around that one sentence.
"I do," you replied. You had to stop yourself from saying more—there was more you wanted to say, needed to say—but you couldn’t. Not yet. Not until you figured out where your head was at, where you both were at.
Spencer shifted in his seat. He didn’t look hurt, but there was something in the way he held himself. Maybe he was just holding back, afraid to push too hard, afraid of what that push might break.
You finally took a breath and turned to face him. He was still watching you, his expression a mix of concern and... something else. It was the something else that had you questioning everything.
"You don’t have to say anything," you added quickly, "I just...said something stupid. I didn’t mean to make things weird."
Spencer didn’t break his gaze, but a small smile tugged at the corner of his lips. Not his usual goofy grin, but something softer. More real. Something... intimate.
"It’s not weird," he said, his voice still quiet, "You’re not the only one who gets nervous around here, you know."
You blinked at him, genuinely confused. "What do you mean?"
His smile flickered, a small laugh escaping him before he adjusted his posture and leaned back in his seat. He seemed less tense, more at ease, "I’m just saying... I’ve had my own share of... feelings. I just didn’t know how to... deal with them."
Your breath caught in your throat. Spencer had feelings? For you?
The question hovered between you like an unspoken truth, but it seemed too risky to ask outright. Instead, you glanced down at your hands, the heat rising in your face.
And then, finally, you said something else, the words coming out quieter than you intended: "Do you think... we can just... forget it happened?"
You almost expected him to shrug it off, to offer a playful remark about how awkward it was or how maybe you'd both laugh about it someday. But he didn’t do that.
"No," he said softly. "I think maybe... we should talk about it. When we’re ready."
Your heart fluttered. Was this... was this him telling you he was ready? That maybe he wanted to figure it out too? Or was this Spencer, as usual, just giving you a window to process everything at your own pace?
You weren’t sure. You weren’t sure of anything. But you couldn’t deny the weight of his words, the connection that had always been there and that seemed to grow stronger the more time you spent together.
"I’m not great at talking about feelings," you admitted, looking over at him sheepishly.
Spencer chuckled softly, a breath of amusement. "Yeah, I’ve noticed."
You gave him a sidelong glance, your lips twitching into a reluctant grin. “Smartass.”
"Hey, you started it," he teased, finally breaking the tension just a little. "And I’ll finish it. But not right now. I think... we both need time to think."
You nodded slowly. He was right. You both needed time. The last thing either of you needed was to make rash decisions while emotions were still running high.
"You’re not mad?" You asked it before you could stop yourself, the doubt creeping in.
"Mad? Why would I be mad?" Spencer’s face was open and sincere.
"I don’t know. I just..." You didn’t finish your sentence. What was there to say? How could you explain the mess of emotions you were still trying to sort out?
He reached out across the seat, almost as if he was testing the waters, and placed a hand gently on yours. The touch was brief, but it sent a spark of warmth through you.
"I’m not mad," he said again, more firmly this time. "Not for that."
You were both quiet for the rest of the flight, but the silence between you felt different—more like an understanding, like a promise that when the time was right, you’d figure it out together.
It wasn't the one moment you would pick to stay in forever, but it was a moment you didn't mind being in for the rest of the flight.
#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid fanfiction#dr spencer reid#spencer reid#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfic#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds fic#criminal minds fandom#bau team#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid criminal minds#doctor spencer reid#spencer reid x self insert#x reader
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Sunflower
pairing: Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader
summary: Y/N has a crush on Robin's friend Steve, but when she learns about his dating history she retreats in on herself.
word count: 3327
warnings: self depreciation, reader is only described as not skinny but by herself in comparison to other Stranger Things characters, happy ending guys I swear, also based off the song sunflower from that one movie (I don't remember I just get it stuck in my head)
12 Days of Christmas masterlist main masterlist
"Please?"
"No!"
"Oh, come on!" Robin had been trying for the past hour to make her best friend come with her to the movie night that Steve was hosting.
"Robin," Y/N was not budging. It's not that she didn't want to hang out with Robin, but going to a strangers house full of people when you only know one was not her idea of a fun night.
"Just give me a good reason, at least." Usually Robin stopped begging by the fourth 'no,' but tonight she was very pushy for an unknown reason.
"I don't know anyone!" Y/N hadn't gone to Hawkins High, instead being put through a private all-girls school just north of Hawkins. A school Robin visited frequently, due to Y/N's roommate, and that's how the two became friends. So while 'King' Steve Harrington may have been a legend in Hawkins, he might as well have been the post man to Y/N.
"I'll be there!" Robin clearly did not understand Y/N's worries. "I won't leave you alone, I promise."
"Give me the reason you want me to go, and I'll consider it." Robin opened her mouth. "The real reason." Y/N raised an eyebrow at her huff.
"Steve is my best friend, and I selfishly want my two best friends to also be best friends!" Robin pouted, but it made Y/N smile slightly.
"I will go just this once." Robin whooped and punched a fist in the air as she stood from the couch. "But! But, you cant ask me again." Robin seemed to happy to care about Y/N's terms anyway.
This was going to be one hell of a night.
~
"I finally got her!" Robin screamed when she walked in, not even knocking or slowly walking in. Y/N stood out outside the door, blinking as Robin began to give out hugs.
"Who?" A male voice asked, just around the corner and out of Y/N's sight.
"Is this your friend from boarding school?" A kid with curly hair asked Robin as he came to the door.
"It wasn't boarding school!" Robin knocked the back of the kids head, and Y/N's eyes widened. She was really close with these people.
"What is your name?" A girl appeared next to Y/N, causing her to jump. Everyone was still buzzing and talking in the doorway.
"Y/N," She responded, smiling when the other girl smiled. "What's your's?"
"Eleven." Y/N tried not to show her shock at the unique name. "But everyone calls me El."
"I like that name." Y/N said, feeling nice when El smiled wider. She wanted to continue her conversation, however a loud voice cut everyone off.
"Alright!" Hands clasped, a man about Y/N's age got everyone's attention. She felt her heart begin to beat out of her chest and her eyes widen slightly at the sight of him; tall, handsome as hell with the most beautiful head of hair. She struggled to hear what he had to say next. "You can come in the house, ya know." His smirk made her smile slightly, her heart racing as she tried not to act too shy.
"I just wasn't sure," She looked over at Robin, who was talking in low tones to another girl who looked about their age as well.
"Don't worry about it." The man walked over to her as she walked into the house, the kids dispersing and beginning to chatter once more. "My house is basically everyone else's anyway." He chuckled and ran a hand through his hair, shutting the door behind her. Y/N gave a small laugh and toed off her shoes, leaving them near the door before turning back to Steve.
"Your house is nice," She said, looking around and realizing her statement may have fallen a bit short. His house was immaculate upon first glance. However, when she looked closer, she realized there were no family pictures, no children's artwork or graduation pictures hanging up. Her heart sunk and she looked back at Steve, who looked a bit awkward.
"Yeah," He said, scratching his neck. "My name is Steve, by the way. I don't know if Robin told you." Y/N's eyes widened in acknowledgement.
"You're Steve!" She laughed slightly at the face he made. "No, it's just, I hear all the time about how Robin works with you. I didn't know her coworker was her best friend." She caught something flickering across Steve's face, as if there was more to the story, but then he was laughing and it was so musical that Y/N forgot all about the face. Steve's laugh seized her heart, and she tried not to blush.
I mean, how embarrassing would it be to blush at your best-friend-in-law's laugh the first time you meet them?
"Yeah, I mean, we've worked at two places together now so," Steve told her, and Y/N nodded.
"Basically married, honestly." She joked, just to make Steve laugh once more. When he did, her heart soared.
"I'm glad someone gets it." He spoke, a soft smile on his face that Y/N wanted to take a photograph of to look at forever.
God, get ahold of yourself!
"I'm Y/N." She held her hand out, and Steve took it, a small smile on his face.
"That is a lovely name." He said, and she couldn't even think about the fact that he probably has used that line a million other times because she was too busy trying to manually make the blood leave her cheeks.
"Thank you," She said, quieter now. He dropped her hand and then looked around, noticing Robin, Nancy, and Jonathan on a couch while the kids sprawled out on the floor, arguing about the movie.
"What's your favorite movie?" He asked, turning back to her.
"Uh, I guess it would be Pretty In Pink? Or actually maybe Footloose." Her eyes lit up as she ran through more movies in her head. "I really like Stand By Me too." Steve smiled.
"I have Footloose." He said simply, then turned to make his way to the living room. Y/N followed, brows furrowed in confusion. She hadn't even gotten to ask him the same question, and she wasn't sure what he was doing now.
"Alright, stop arguing." Steve walked into the middle of the kids and picked up all the movies they had taken off the shelves, not caring about the kids' protests.
"Steve, please tell Mike that no one wants to watch Ferris Bueller again!" The kid with curly hair cried out.
"We watched it like seven times in theaters already!" A kid with and dark, short hair called out, and this caused the pale kid with black hair to drop his mouth in surprise - this must be Mike.
"Because it's the best movie ever made!" Their bickering distracted them from what Steve was doing, starting to yell over each other and making the three girls in the group roll their eyes and sigh.
Y/N looked over to find a spot to sit, but she noticed Robin was deep in conversation with the same girl from earlier on the couch; she was petite and beautiful, permed hair styled perfectly and face gorgeous without makeup. Y/N was instantly jealous, no matter how much she tried to ignore it and push it down. The girl was holding the man next to her's hand.
Robin had left Y/N alone.
Her heart started to race as she stared at Robin, willing her to look over, to notice how uncomfortable she was. She didn't know where to sit now - she could sit on the love seat but then she would be sitting next to Steve, who seemed nice but she didn't know him. Her head spun ever so slightly as she tried to breathe, trying to act like she was fine. It's not a big deal. She can sit on the couch. And if it's the most awkward experience of her life, she'll blame Robin for it until the day she dies.
As she sat down, heart still racing but breathing under control, she noticed a familiar tune playing. It was the intro to one of her favorite movies.
She met Steve's eyes as he got up from the VHS player, walking over to where she was sitting.
"What the hell is this?" The kid with curly hair asked Steve, who was now seated next to Y/N, his thigh pushing into her's.
"A movie." Steve grabbed a bowl of popcorn from the small table, offering some to Y/N.
"You're such a comedian." A girl that was smaller than the rest said, eyes narrowed at Steve. He ignored her with practiced ease, taking a handful of popcorn and staring at the TV.
"You chose Footloose." Y/N whispered, heart picking up when Steve turned to look at her.
"Of course." He smirked, making her blush slightly.
"Thank you." She looked over at Robin, who was staring at the TV while shoveling popcorn into her mouth.
"I know that Robin probably told you she wouldn't leave you alone." Steve muttered, causing her to whip her head over to him.
"She didn't leave me alone." Y/N felt the need to defend her best friend, even if it was a lie.
"Y/N," The way he said her name made her heart clench. She immediately forgot what they were talking about. "I love Robin, and I know she didn't mean to, but she did leave you alone." Y/N crossed her arms.
"She just got excited." Y/N said, causing Steve to chuckle lowly.
"Believe me, I know." He scooted ever so slightly closer. "I've never seen this movie, and we've missed the first five minutes, so I'm gonna need you to explain it for me." She tried not to let her cheeks heat once more as she began to explain to Steve what was going on in the movie.
~
After going to movie night a couple more times and actually becoming friends with some of Robin's friends, she hatches her plan.
She couldn't tell Robin that she was practically in love with Steve already. Not because she didn't trust her best friend, but because she felt weird about it. She had only just met him, and they hadn't even talked all that much. She had to bring it up but make it seem like it was Robin's idea.
"I need you to help me!" Y/N cried, dramatically falling backwards on Robin's bed.
"Oh my God," Robin didn't even look up from her painting she was working on.
"I to go on a date!" She yelled. This was a common complaint, one that would cause Robin to roll her eyes most of the time.
"How am I supposed to do that?" Robin still hadn't put down her paint brush, but she was a little less focused.
"You know so many people!" Y/N tried, hoping this wasn't a little too forward.
"You're right, but not that many are - oh my God." Robin dropped her pain brush, the color splattering on her desk, just before hitting her canvas.
"What?" Y/N rolled over, almost falling off the bed.
"I'm a genius." Robin spun in her chair, grinning at Y/N.
"What?" She repeated, hoping Robin was about to be the best wingwoman ever.
"I know the perfect boyfriend for you!" The girls stared at each other for a couple moments, Robin blinking as if it was obvious. "Steve!"
"Oh." She couldn't sound too excited, but on the inside she was dancing. If she had Robin on her side, it'd be easier to get to know Steve. "I mean, I barely even know him,." Robin was so excited she didn't even bring up the fact that Y/N wouldn't have known anyone Robin brought up.
"Yeah, I could tell you everything." Robin shrugged, making Y/N's eyes go wide. "Like, he crawled backwards as a baby. Weird, right?" Robin laughed, painting forgotten.
"Okay, maybe we should skip ahead to dating history?" That was really what she wanted to know; Steve gave her the vibes of a player. She needed to be proven wrong. She was sure she was wrong.
"Right, well, he used to date Nancy." Y/N's heart sinks at Robin's words. It feels like someone just stabbed her. She regrets asking anything, regrets telling Robin she'd go to movie night. "They dated for like, a year, probably. I don't know, but they had a little thing a while ago."
"Oh," Y/N doesn't know what to say, but she clearly didn't convince Robin of anything. All Y/N can think is that she looks nothing like Nancy. Nancy who's skinny. Nancy who's hair is always perfect with her curled perm. Nancy who's eyes are the most beautiful blue. Nancy who's makeup is never too much, is always complementing her, is so beautiful. Nancy who had Steve's heart.
Fuck.
"They're like, two different people, though. Want different things. He's totally over her. It was practically forever ago." Robin continues, and Y/N tries not to show the hurt that is running through her.
"Right." Y/N nods, grabbing her book and picking it back up again.
"I'll wingwoman you." Robin turns back to her painting. "My two best friends!" She squeals, and Y/N closes her eyes, trying not to show Robin that she's disappointed.
~
Y/N doesn't go back to movie night for two weeks, despite Robin's whines and moans of protest. She wasn't going to break, either, because even though she hadn't seen him in two weeks she thought about him every day.
It was unhealthy.
It was even more unhealthy the way she studied herself in the mirror, comparing herself to Nancy. She knew she shouldn't, that there was no point, that Steve probably didn't even remember her name.
It was fine.
She was a normal human. She was a normal person. She could go to a movie with Steve. They probably wouldn't even talk.
So she agreed, making Robin the most excited she'd ever been. She could hardly wait a week for the next hang out, which was not a movie. It was a pool party.
She could do it.
"I can't do this." She whispered as she parked outside of Steve's house, Robin already getting out of her car.
"Come on!" Robin cried out, and Y/N blinked quickly before shutting her brain off and getting out of the car.
It wouldn't be that bad.
"Y/N!" Steve yells as soon as he opens the door. Her eyes widen, and Steve pushes Robin aside to put his arms around her.
"Alright," Robin says with a scoff, walking inside.
"Hi," Y/N says quietly, because she's still a little confused.
"We missed you!" He says as he pulls back. "I missed you." This was quieter, and Y/N tried her hardest not to blush.
"I missed you too." She said, watching him smile before walking with him into the house. She tries to convince herself that today will be okay.
But then the conversation shifts to Steve and his love life somehow, and one of the kids brings it up.
"Remember when you had a crush on Robin!" Dustin announces as he dissolves into laughter. Y/N's mind goes blank.
Of course Steve has a type. Of course it's the opposite of her. Robin and Nancy are gorgeous. They're both so kind, so smart, so pretty. They're both skinny.
All she can think about is the way her body looks against Nancy and Robin's. Her thigh, which is touching Steve's on the small couch that he had decided the two of them would sit on. Her face is a different shape. Robin and Nancy look like models that Y/N sees on the cover of her mother's magazines. She might as well have not come back, because there was no way Steve would ever see her like that.
And she couldn't even tell anyone; not that she had many people to tell anyway. But Robin wouldn't get it. She'd tell Y/N how beautiful and smart she was that if a man didn't want her for such a stupid reason she didn't want the man anyway. And while it was nice to hear, it wasn't what she wanted or needed now. She didn't need reminders that she was beautiful, because it wouldn't change how Steve saw her.
What had she been thinking? Of course Steve was a player - she had clocked that quickly.
"I need more popcorn!" Robin announces in the middle of the movie. "And Y/N needs to come with me." The way she said it made Y/N realize that she knew something was wrong, and now her best friend was not letting her out of this.
"What?" Y/N asked quietly when they got to the kitchen.
"Seriously?" Robin almost exploded.
"What?" Y/N furrowed her brows, and Ron scoffed as she rolled her eyes.
"You've been acting weird." Robin explains, and Y/N shakes her head dramatically. "No I haven't." She says, grabbing the popcorn and putting it on the pan they've been keeping on the stove.
"Yes, you have. What's going on?" Robin asks, walking to the stove to stand next to Y/N. "You can tell me." This is softer, just as the popcorn begins to pop.
"It's nothing, Rob." Y/N sighs.
"Are you sure? Because I don't want to make you uncomfortable when you come here but I just want you to hang out. And I thought you wanted me to try and set you up with Steve, but you haven't even looked at him all night despite the fact that you're sitting right next to each other." Robin talks it out, and she's getting closer to the truth. The popcorn is done, so Y/N takes it off the hot stove and puts it on a pot holder, but neither of them leave.
"Steve liked Nancy." Y/N says, not able to face Robin. She can only look at the back tile above the stove. "And he liked you. So he clearly has a type." She looks to the side that Robin isn't on, trying to keep the tears at bay.
"Y/N," Robin puts a hand on her shoulder.
"He likes roses. He likes the skinny, perfect hair, perfect body, perfect face. And that is not me. I am not a rose." She takes a deep breath, wiping her face and preparing to leave.
"I hate roses." Steve says from behind her, and Y/N jumps. She turns, and he's standing there with wide eyes that pull at her heart.
"Steve," She didn't want him to hear any of that, but he clearly heart at least the last part.
"When you first showed up here, I called Robin that night to ask if I had a chance with you." Steve admits, and Y/N parts her lips in surprise. She turns to her friend.
"You never told me that." She whispers, and Robin has a sly smile on her face.
"I knew you guys would find your way to each other." She grabs the popcorn and leaves Y/N and Steve to their conversation.
"I'm not the same guy I was in high school. And I know the rumors that went around, and some of them were true. But I'm more mature now, and I really like you." He admits, making Y/N's cheeks heat up. "I've been waiting for you to come to movie night again so I could ask you out. Robin wouldn't give me any of your information because she said I had to do it on my own." Steve steps closer, and Y/N has to take a shuddering breath.
"Sorry," Y/N says, and Steve shakes his head as he moves some hair out of her eyes.
"Don't apologize." He whispers, then grabs her hand. "So, would you like to go on a date with me?" He asks, and she smiles.
"Yes." She whispers, nodding slowly. He smiled.
"And by the way," He says as they walk back into the room. "I find you very, very attractive." She can feel the heat all the way down her chest, but she lets him lead her into the living room and to the couch. She even lets him cuddle her through the movie, even while his friends tease him.
She's never felt more beautiful.
//
tags: @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @one-sweet-gubler @theoraekenslover @sadbitchfangirl @gloryekaterina @oblivion-void @alexshaff2002 @m-rae23 @icequeen1371 @mcueveryday @parkershoco @feelinglikeineedlotsofnaps @peculiarwren @kenzi-woycehoski @multifandom-boss-bitch @freezaz123 @mads-weasley @johnricharddeacy @sweetdreamsshifter @param8re @ashlynhasmanyhyperfixations @wish-upon-a-star-1310 @fangisms
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Please Accept My Apology
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader
Summary: After three days spent trying to convince the BAU that they had made a mistake, Spencer Reid shows up at your door to offer his apology.
Warnings: enemies to lovers, smut 18+ minors dni, slight age gap, penetrative sex, squirting, fingering, dirty talk, name calling, degradation, hints of bdsm, implied creampie etc.
You can find my masterlist here and my 2024 song fic challenge here (don't forget to send song recommendations to my inbox!)
You never thought you'd ever see the inside of an interrogation room before this week. Now you didn't think you'd ever see the outside of it.
“Y/N, you're brother ran from law enforcement multiple times, if you know where he is you need to tell us or you'll be charged with accessory to murder and kidnapping after the fact. Is that what you want?”
“Of course it isn't what I want, but I already told you I can't fucking help you!”
You paced in the boxed room, feeling closed in and hot.
Your brother - your innocent brother - was the key suspect in a series of child abductions and murders, and as he'd ran from law enforcement multiple times, they'd dragged you into the police precinct to try to track him down.
For the last three days, you'd been stuck sitting at that table across from Doctor Spencer Reid, waiting for the worst news of your life, because you knew it was coming.
“He's not a murderer. He's mentally ill, but he wouldn't hurt anyone. I keep telling you that, why won't you believe me?”
“A lot of loved ones protest a suspect's innocence, right down to the last second.” You couldn't help the laugh that bubbled up from the depth of your chest.
“My brother is schizophrenic. He was violent before, sure, he had outbursts. But he has been monitoring his meds for the last three years perfectly. He has a job, he has a son. He would not hurt those kids.”
You had always looked up to your elder brother, even through the tough years.
He'd inherited both your fathers drinking problem and your mother's mental illness, each demon feeding the other until he had a breakdown at age 19.
You were only 17 yourself, but with no one else to hold him accountable, you'd been there. You'd checked him into a facility, you drove him to each of his doctor's appointments when he was clean. You'd been around for each sober anniversary, for each birthday and holiday and celebration that he'd made it one more year without falling into himself.
He'd reciprocated by being the most reliable man you knew. He helped put you through college when he was stable enough, he'd managed to work his way up in the ranks at his construction job. He had a beautiful wife (currently in another interrogation room with another agent) and the cutest little boy.
He'd promised you that your family struggles would end with the two of you. You'd promised each other to take care of each others families if anything happened to them in the future, and while you currently had no family to speak of, you sure as hell were going to make sure that your nephew never wanted for anything in his life.
Your brother wasn't a murderer, and you had proof enough.
“You know, you haven't asked me yet why I think he's innocent.” You took your seat again, and gathered your hands together on the table, leaning in closer to the agent in front of you.
You watched him think for a second, then mirror your pose, leaning in just as close, eyes locked with yours.
You'd talked about a lot of things these past three days, and you got the idea that he was a bit of a jackass. If not a jackass, then at least big-headed; he'd practically shouted his title of Doctor at you as he'd walked in, and made sure to correct you every time you'd called him agent or sir.
You kept doing it just to piss him off eventually.
“It's denial, Miss Y/L/N. You don't want to see the signs you'd ignored for that lingered, so you beg and protest and plead, hoping that eventually you'll turn out to be correct.” His voice was low, but you caught every word.
“While I am sure you know what you're talking about Agent Reid, that is not why I'm here still. I'm not being charged with a crime, and I've been here much longer than 24 hours. I'm free to go at any point, but I'm sticking around here, lawyer free, because I want to watch your face when you realise you'd been wrong this entire time.”
He shifted uncomfortably and you smiled, happy to get under his skin once again.
“Okay, Miss Y/L/N. What makes you so sure your brother is innocent?”
“Your profile.” His eyes slightly widened at that, and you basked in it, leaning back and waiting for him to take the bait as the tide turned in your conversation.
“We profiled that our unsub would be late 20s to early 30s, probably a family man who'd likely been abused as a child. The profile also suggested he may have had a psychotic break recently, likely as a result of coming off his meds. Your brother fits the profile, Y/N.”
He'd dug his own grave, and you were happy to see him getting ready to sleep in it too.
“No, he doesn't, Agent.”
A tense silence passed between you, and you knew his gaze was fixed on you. You let your eyes dart elsewhere, rolling down his body to his hands. They were totally still of course, but you could see how tense he was by the way he pushed them flat against the table, almost as if he were trying to ground himself, finding reassurance in the pressure.
“How does he not fit the profile?” His brows were knitted together, and his expression was one of annoyance now.
No matter how much you had shouted or let out your frustrations these past few days, he'd kept a placid look of sympathy plastered across his features. He hadn't listened, or even suggested he'd wanted to, assuming your brother was guilty.
Now he was annoyed, as if he had the right.
“Despite what your records supposedly tell you, my brother is not off his meds.”
“Miss Y/L/N, we know that your brother did not refill his prescription three months ago, and that he looked into some clinical trials in the metropolitan area and was rejected.”
“Congratulations for having 50% of the facts. My brother wasn't rejected from those trials, he withdrew because they changed the terms. They wanted to study my nephew as well to see if they could predict where hereditary cases of Schizophrenia would manifest.”
You leaned in again now, enjoying watching the thoughts rush through Spencer Reid's head once again.
“His health insurance had some issues after the withdrawal, so his prescription couldn't be filled until next week, but my brother always had six months of pills delivered.”
You watched the realisation come crashing down on the agent in front of you, though he was doing a good job of keeping himself out together.
It was time to end this conversation.
“To take part in the clinical trial, he needed to stop taking his regular medication for two weeks. Meaning he has two more weeks of his regular medication. I watched him take it Monday morning, right about when your second kidnapping occurred. My sister-in-law will confirm.”
He stood from his chair slowly and nodded at you, making his way to the door.
“And Agent Reid?” You said making sure to hold his attention one last time before he could leave. “If anything happens to my brother, I will hold you responsible.”
He slipped from the room without another word, and you relaxed into the chair, letting your eyes fall shut as you waited patiently.
Xxx
It was another week before your brother was totally cleared. He'd turned himself into law enforcement the same day you'd forced the BAU to reevaluate their profile, and both he and his wife had cracked up your story.
With nothing else to distract them, you'd been happily informed that they'd caught the actual perpetrator, and saved another victim.
You were back at home now, trying to relax, to get back on track.
You knew by the knock on the door that you weren't going to get back to your normal routine just yet.
“Agent Reid, I wasn't expecting you.” He was there at your door, and you had to brush off a wave of annoyance, forcing yourself not to slam the thing in his goddamn face.
“It's Doctor Reid. You know that, though.” He mumbled the words, jaw tense as he heaved out a sigh, trying to get to his point but being distracted by your prickly words.
“I came to talk. May I come inside?”
“We talked for three days straight, Doc. What else could we possibly need to discuss?” You made sure to block the door with your body, one arm resting on the doorframe as you leant across it, the other holding the door tightly next to you.
You thought he'd get the idea, tuck his tail between his legs, and swiftly leave you alone, but you were sadly mistaken.
Instead his eyes raked over your body as you put it on display, curiously exploring every inch you put in his eyeline.
“May I come in?” He repeated, eyes still trailing down your body. If it weren't for the heat building inside of you, you'd have slammed the door in his face. A moment's hesitation was all you got instead, as he locked eyes with you again, and you reluctantly moved an inch to the side.
You stayed there in the doorway even as he entered, his body brushing against yours almost intimately for the second, his hand faintly tracing over your hip as he stepped inside, watching you all the time.
Needing desperately to gain your composure back, you jumped into asking questions. “You're in now. What do you want?”
“I wanted to apologise.” He hadn't moved far into the apartment, and you realised aa soon as you turned away from locking the door, overestimating his distance. You spun right into his arms, one of his palms coming to your waist to steady you as the other steadied the two of you against the wall.
“And whatever would the wonderful Doctor Reid need to apologise for?”
Your words were venomous, but the heat in them rose from somewhere deeper than the acid in your stomach, somewhere more fiery than the burning sensation at the back of your throat.
“I'm trying to do the right thing here, Y/N.”
“After a week of doing the wrong thing, Spencer, I'm not sure you're fully capable of that.”
His brows furrowed as he pouted, and you hated his proximity, both too close and too far at the same time. You wanted to run him apart, and then delicately sew him back together.
“I was doing my job.”
“You almost got my brother killed.”
“I'm sorry.” He heaved out an exasperated breath with the words, body relaxing and pushing your back fully against the wall. His eyes widened, and you could tell that he hadn't meant to move you in that way, but you just stared at him still, eyes flicking down to his lips with every intrusive thought.
This was how close you needed him.
“I don't give a shit if you're sorry.” You meant the words to be harsh a warning, but you hadn't realised your heartbeat bursting from your throat, your breathy gasps for air making it sound more erotic than angry.
He blinked once, then twice, slowly as if he was a scientist observing an experiment, not wanting to take his eyes off of it until he was certain something wouldn't happen.
“You're enjoying this.”
“I'm not.”
“Your heart rate is at 127 bpm, your pupils are dilated, your breathing is shallow. You're enjoying this. Why?”
His hands didn't let up, even as he shot out his words, brows furrowing further as you resisted the urge to push him away.
It was more comfortable keeping him close.
“I told you I am not enjoying this. You're just too close.”
“So, you're having a physical reaction to me?” He asked, almost quizzically. You had expected to hear a triumphant smirk or something in his voice, but he seemed genuinely curious.
“For God's sake, Spencer, yes. Yes, you're close and it's making me uncomfortable. You spent three days making me feel uncomfortable, and now you've come back for round two, are you happy now?”
“You're not uncomfortable,” he shot out again, almost as if he couldn't stop the words from spilling out. “You're aroused.”
“Know it all.” He laughed at that, and you could feel the heat in your cheeks. You weren't sure what the hell was going on with your body, because you'd spent the week despising the man in front of you, but now a simple hand on your wrist and a laugh had you blushing like a schoolgirl.
“So what if I am aroused? You're touching me, you have me pinned against the wall, really this is your fault, Agent.”
“It's Doctor, but you can call me Spencer. Or you can go back to another colourful insult if you'd prefer?”
“You're pretty full of yourself, I thought you came to apologise.”
“I did, it's not exactly me that is acting like they want to be filled right now though.”
“Jackass,” you snapped, as he lowered his hand around to cup your ass, finally allowing himself a tiny hint at the smirk you'd predicted earlier.
You gasped as he took a handful of your ass and pulled you flush against him.
“I want to say sorry, I want to make it up to you. I'm being quite charitable here.”
“Charity, my dear Doctor, is where you give something and expect nothing in return. It seems like you want something in return.” You spat the words again but you let your hands press lightly against his chest, waiting for him to make the next move as you played with the buttons of his shirt.
“I'd be more than happy to do that, too.”
You weren't sure who reached for who, or which one of you made the first push, but you were suddenly joined together by your lips, each of you battling furiously for dominance.
Your hands pushed up desperately, clawing into his long, busy strands and pulling him down further into you as you worked against him.
He was still stronger than you though, so when he forced your head back an inch, you moved out of necessity.
“Is that enough, or should I keep apologising?”
“Nowhere near enough, jacka-” he cut you off by pushing the tip of his thumb into your mouth, using one of his legs to spread yours so he could nuzzle himself between them.
“Why so quiet now? We couldn't shut you up in those interrogation rooms, but now you're so polite and obedient.” You moaned around his thumb as he stroked your tongue, encouraging you to suck it.
You didn't need much instruction, desperate now to show off your superior skills to the man in front of you.
“That's it, show me how much you want it, my little whore.”
His hand slipped into your pants quietly, but you twitched as his hands feathered their way along your pelvic bone, twitching at the sensitivity of the connection.
His hands slipped into your panties and you knew immediately it was over for you. You were so wet, and he was going to be able to tell just how much you apparently wanted him.
You moaned as he roughly pushed your pants down, finger teasing your cunt through your panties as you still struggled to suck his thumb so you didn't make any louder noises.
“You're enjoying this.” It was no longer a question, but a confident statement, no curiosity but simple satisfaction at how good he was making you feel.
He pulled his thumb from your mouth, rubbing some saliva across your lips to make them shine before he turned you around and pushed you up against the wall. Your hands barely pushed out in from of you before your chest collided with the wall, and he was close behind you.
As he coaxed your panties down your legs, you closed your eyes and tried to keep your breathing steady, desperately clinging to some high ground where you could find it.
His fingers were hot and long, and they quickly found your clit and got to work as he ground his hard cock against your bare ass.
His pants were still on, but you could feel the outline of his dick against you, hips rutting back into him with each flick of his wrist.
“Now, come on Y/N. You said it's not charity if I receive something in return, right?” He whispered into your ear as you tried to reach behind you to grab his dick.
“We're going to take this nice and slow, and you're going to enjoy all of it.”
His fingers slowed to an aching pace as he finally pushed a first digit inside of you. His hips finished moving and his free hand held you still too, so the only friction was coming from that one hand between your legs, practically edging you.
“Fuck me, just fuck me Spencer.” You moaned in frustration.
“Doctor.” He whispered in your ear, the glee in his voice igniting your hatred of him all over again.
“What?” You spat out.
“Call me Doctor Reid, and I'll give you anything you want. You want to cum, right?”
His fingers kept their slow pace, and you could feel yourself growing more impatient, even as you grit your teeth together.
“Fuck me, Doctor Reid.”
“What about please?”
“Fuck you.” You instantly regretted your words when he pulled his hands off your body completely, retreating further into your house.
“No, shit, wait.-”
You scrambled after him as he took a seat on your couch, removing his jacket and loosening his already dishevelled tie.
“What do you want, Y/N?” He asked, palming himself through his pants as he watched you practically fall at his feet, needing his hands back on you.
“I want you to f-fuck me, please Doctor Reid.” He nodded slightly, pulling your remaining clothing off as he responded.
“That's a good little slut.” He led your hand over his cock and let you undo the buttons and pull him out. You needed no other instructions as he leaned back and pulled your legs into a firmer position.
You gave his cock a few strokes before lifting your hips and sinking back down onto him.
“So fucking wet for me, you were so aroused, baby.”
He didn't let you control the pace, but held your hips still just above him as he began pushing into you from below, lifting his hips to fill you up with each thrust.
You couldn't bite back the screams as his balls slapped against you, Spencer trying his best to fit his entire length into you with each deep thrust. You wanted to kill the man only an hour earlier, and now you were sure you wanted to have him inside you like this forever.
“Oh fuck, just like that, just like that Spencer please!”
Your hand drifted down to your cunt and you're began to rub feverishly, even as you felt the pressure build up from your gut.
The pressure was almost unbearable and before you knew it you were squirting on his cock, fingers splashing wave after wave of your arousal over his cock and clothes.
“Already squirting for me? I thought you didn't want anything to do with me, Y/N. I guess you are just a little whore.”
You twitched, but couldn't respond, as he began thrusting sloppier than ever before, grunting in your ear as he finally joined you in your mess.
His grip on your hip slipped as he finally started cumning, and you moaned feeling him so deep as he gathered you in his arms and pulled you chest to chest.
You sat there panting together for an eternity before you even thought about detangling your limbs from one another.
“You made a mess of my fucking sofa.” You said as you finally rose up slightly, looking down at the mess beneath you.
“No, Y/N, that was you. I simply helped.”
“Jackass.”
“Whore.”
You gasped as he laughed at you again, pulling your hips back down over his so you couldn't slide off his cock again.
“Don't act so scandalised when I can feel just how much that turned you on. You're enjoying this.”
You pouted a little, but let your head fall back against his chest.
“And what if I am, Agent Reid?”
#spencer reid#criminal minds#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid fanfic#mgg#spencer reid smut#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds fandom#spencer reid criminal minds#dr spencer reid#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid x reader smut#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x you#spencer reid fic
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O8 stuck with you — im on top (of you) !
scaramouche x gender neutral reader
The day you had been dreading was finally upon you.
“Stop looking so sad,” Yoimiya sighs as she looks over to where you were slumped on the floor of the recording studio you guys were in.
“My beautiful voice…mixed in with his,” you shuddered at the mere thought of his vocals sullying the album.
“Quit being so dramatic,” Lumine chastised, reaching over to get you off the floor.
You look over to where Scara was similarly slumped on the floor, staring into the wall as his group members conversed around him. Looks like he wasn’t too into the idea of recording with you either.
“You guys ready?” Albedo asks, walking in carrying a stack of papers as he walks past you guys to the soundbooth. The young blonde had been one of the company’s producers since you’d debuted. He reminded you a mix between Kazuha and Xiao, quiet but managed to get his artistic vision across.
“You two,” Albedo gestures to you and Scara, “I was instructed to get you both done quickly before working on the group song.”
“Jean really slotted all this time and took into consideration how much Scaramouche and Yn bicker,” Fischl muses.
“What are we singing?” Scaramouche asks, flipping through the page of lyrics Albedo handed you both.
“A love song,” Albedo answers, hooking a pair of headphones onto his head, “Let’s just try it out and see what needs to be added, go on then.”
He gently pushes you into the recording booth as you both tug on your own pair of headphones.
You eye the lyrics as you tug the microphone closer to you, wincing at the implications behind the words.
The first few attempts were disastrous to say the least. Scaramouche kept criticizing your timing and you kept pointing out how he was overpowering the track. Albedo’s patience, which was unbelievably high if he worked with the likes of you, was wearing thin as you both argued over every line.
After a take that finally sounded decent Albedo gestures for you two to come out of the booth.
“Are we finally done?” Scara asks.
“That sounded pretty good to me,” Childe pipes up.
“If you guys had collaborated earlier we would be drowning in so much money right now,” Venti sighs dejectedly.
“Almost,” Albedo answers, fingers flying over his keyboard, "I just need you both to moan,” Albedo deadpanned.
“What?” Scara slowly says, like he’s on the verge of strangling Albedo by the neck.
“Before you say anything just listen to this clip.”
You couldn’t even process anything before Albedo was hitting play and your gentle voice mixed with Scara’s came out of the speakers, followed by some harmonies by Aether and then Xiao that he’d added in later. It all sounded good as they all harmonized together, but even you could feel that something was missing.
“So, you need us to do what ?”
“Moan, so I can use it as backup vocals,” Albedo hummed, twirling a pen with his fingers, seeming nonchalant about what he was asking of them.
“Fuck no,” Scara says, jutting a finger at you, “Why do I have to moan on the same song as them.”
“I don’t want to either,” you huff as your members erupt into a fit of laughter behind you. The traitors.
“It’s just my suggestion,” Albedo says, putting his hands up, “Just try it out.”
“I don’t get paid enough for this, how am I supposed to moan with Yn next to me?”
“I get dried up just looking at you.”
“The world gets dry from looking at you.”
“You should have no trouble faking a moan, since it’s probably what everyone you’ve ever slept with has done.”
Albedo snaps his fingers in front of you both.
“I don’t care how you do it, just harmonize a moan or two for me,” Albedo says, pushing you both back into the booth, “I would like to go home early for once.”
“We won’t be able to see you,” Albedo adds, “So feel free to do whatever helps you get out the best moans.”
“Gross,” Scara called out as Albedo shut the door behind him.
“I’m going to kill myself,” you mumble as you tug the microphone towards you once again.
Scara glares at you as you both stand in the booth, the microphone between you two a symbol of your forced cooperation. You can feel the tension radiating off him, and it's not helping your own nerves. You take a deep breath, trying to steady yourself.
"Let's just get this over with," you mutter, avoiding Scara's eyes.
"Fine," he snaps, crossing his arms. "But don't think for a second that I'm happy about this."
You roll your eyes. "Yeah, well, neither am I."
There's a long, uncomfortable silence as you both stare at the microphone. Outside the booth, Albedo is watching, his expression expectant. You glance at Scara, trying to gauge his mood. He's scowling, but there's a flicker of something else in his eyes—something like hesitation.
"Look," you say, trying to sound reasonable in an attempt to get this over with. "Let's just do one take and see how it goes. If it sounds terrible, we can convince Albedo to scrap the idea."
Scara raises an eyebrow, but after a moment, he nods. "Fine. One take."
You both lean towards the microphone, your faces inches apart. You can feel Scara's breath on your skin, and it sends a shiver down your spine. You close your eyes, trying to block out the awkwardness, and focus on the task at hand.
Taking a deep breath, you let out a soft, hesitant moan. It feels strange and embarrassing, but you push through, hoping it will be over soon. Beside you, Scara does the same, his moan blending with yours.
Scaramouche’s moans would usually sound like a sexually-transmitted disease: gross and something that you’d never touch with a fifteen-foot pole, but for a moment, it created an unexpected harmony.
Albedo's voice crackles through the intercom. "That was... actually not bad. Let's try it one more time, but with a bit more feeling. Scara, go a bit lower.”
You both go through the motions again, and you try to ignore how Scara’s moans sound so resonant through your headphones and the heat on your cheeks from making such an intimate sound beside him.
Albedo’s voice comes through the intercom again. “Perfect. That’s exactly what we needed.”
You sigh with relief, tugging off the headphones as fast as you could and slipping out the booth.
As you and Scara step out of the booth, you're immediately met with the smirking faces of the other members. They're lounging on the studio couch, looking far too amused for your liking.
Childe is the first to speak, a stupid grin plastered across his face. "Well, well, look at you two. Didn't know you two were that freaky."
Lumine snickers, giving you both a mock round of applause. "That was hot. It felt like I was interrupting.”
“I hope you all die,” Scara says from beside you before turning to Albedo, “And you’re a freak for suggesting that.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Albedo hums, already tuning them out as he has his headphones back on.
"Alright, alright," you say, trying to change the subject. "Can we please focus on something else now?"
Venti stands up, stretching. "Fine, fine. But you know we’re never going to let you live this down, right?"
“I’m personally going to buy several copies of this album,” Yoimiya giggles.
“I hope Albedo makes you guys do something embarrassing,” you huff.
"No wonder you're still a virgin if you sound like that when moaning,” Scaramouche says, smirking as he slips past you to sit on the couch.
“Shut up,” you grumble.
“Can’t even defend yourself,” Scara taunts.
“Lot of talk for someone who also hasn’t gotten laid in a while,” Aether whistles.
“Whose side are you on, Aether?!”
//
Later that day
“Let’s just get this over with,” you sigh as you follow your members towards the studio.
“I’m excited,” Venti hums, skipping ahead of you.
“I’m surprised at how quickly they pulled this together,” Xiao comments, opening the door for you, “It’s like they’ve been waiting for you two to fuck up.”
“Which you have, several times,” Lumine unhelpfully pipes up from behind you.
“I’m so sick of you guys,” you grumble, accepting your fate.
As you walked into the studio, you could only stare in disbelief at the high ceiling, the windows that took the length of the walls letting in the evening light, poppy color mottled across the sky as the sun quietly set behind you. Wealth practically drips from the room as you look around. You never even used this space for your album photoshoots, since you guys never needed such a big space for just you six.
In one of the corners you spotted a large camera standing tall in front of a white backdrop, the ground adorned with roses and petals. The white-pink petals fluttered in the wind as the fans in the corner caused them to float throughout the studio. The reds and pinks jump out against the white. It was sickeningly romantic. You wanted to throw up at the implication.
You spotted Jean talking to Scaramouche, who looked like she was giving the other a pep talk before she spotted you and waved you over.
“Yn! We were just discussing the photoshoot, Lisa will instruct you two after she’s done talking to the crew. I need to go chat with them, you two stay here and get ready,” Jean rushed out, calling over some stylists to fix you guys up, already out of breath as she dashed over to Lisa.
“You’re late,” Scara says as his greeting as a group of women start fussing over your guys’ hair and outfits.
“You’re early, tryhard.”
“Not your best comeback,” Yoimiya whistles from a few feet away.
“Alright you guys,” Lisa calls out, walking over to where your groups were gathered getting touched up, “We’re going to get the group shots over with, then some solo ones, and we’ll separate to do some pairing shots.”
//
They all stood together awkwardly as they waited for the staff to finish setting up the cameras, once they finally did they led the group and positioned them. For group pictures they had all the girls stand to one side and the guys on the other, so you guys were in a crescent moon shape. Right after you all separate, the girls in another set and the males in a different one.
The cameraman moved and adjusted everyone for what felt like a hundred dozen times before he finally clapped and positioned you guys to take the picture. He had you hold a pose where you were sitting on a bench and leaning on your side for what felt like forever, you would surely gain some sort of back pain from this.
The most awkward part was the solo photoshoots. Even after becoming an idol you still felt awfully awkward when doing them, but when it was just your members you could manage. But being in front of Scara made you feel extra self conscious.
People like Aether and Childe had a blast, and all the girls seemed to be enjoying it. But you felt quite embarrassed as you were told to pose seductively and show more skin. You weren't alone in this predicament, since Xiao and Kazuha seemed to be having a tough time as well when they were forced to manspread on some seats. Scaramouche became complacent and let the cameraman adjust him accordingly, he even went along with the whorish poses Lisa was having too much fun making them all do.
“Doesn’t Scara look good manspreading half naked like that?” Venti whispers in your ear.
You jump, startled as you stare back at him in disdain.
“No,” you scoff, “Stop ogling him.”
You’re still still stuck on the fact that Scaramouche is shirtless and actually has a decent build. Yes, it's objectively hot—something that you’d admit under the pain of getting an arm hacked off—but it's also quite insane.
With the group photoshoot finished, they all bid farewell as they separated off into their own corners to do their paired shots.
“Alright, Scara and Yn you guys are going to be in Set B,” Jean stated, gently pushing the two of them in that direction. You look and spot the dreaded set where it looked like cupid himself threw up.
You both trailed behind the cameramen over to it, trying your best to not step and wilt any of the flowers artistically placed on the ground.
“Okay, I’m in charge of you guys!” Lisa grinned as you guys approached her, “I’m going to have so much fun with you two.”
“Not too much fun,” Scaramouche grumbles as you both go to stand before the camera.
“Scara, don’t be a prude and unbutton your shirt. Yn, I need you to lay down,” Lisa instructs, walking over and pushing you down until you’re laying down on the petals. You were still reluctant at the fact you would have to do a paired photoshoot with Scara, so your reaction time was still quite slow. Lisa eventually just adjusted your body as needed and bent down next to you, spreading out your hair and laid some petals on it, standing up to admire her work.
“Scaramouche, you’re gonna hover over them and hold that position for a while, and when I say next you lean in as if you’re going to kiss them. Is that alright?” Lisa asked, already heading back to the camera and having the cameramen adjust it lower to capture them in the frame.
“If I say no, does that do anything?” Scara asks.
“No! Now get to it!”
Scara mutters a curse under his breath as he begins to unbutton his button up. You catch a glimpse of his bare skin before he’s kneeling down to knees and crawling over you, placing both palms on either side of your head and leaning forward. Since he couldn’t just hold a plank over you forever, Scara placed one knee in between your legs and another one beside your left leg for stability.
Your breath was hitched in your throat at the proximity, you could see every detail of Scara’s stupid face and makeup from underneath him. You couldn’t help but let your mind wander to how intimate you both were being right now, you’d never been underneath someone like this before. Unless you were being pinned down by Lumine during a fistfight of some sort when you accidentally ate her food.
“Yn! Put your arms around his neck!”
You flinched at Lisa’s yell but did as you were told and wrapped your arms around Scara’s neck, bringing him closer as you did so. There wasn't anywhere to look but at Scara’s eyes, which felt awkward and weird in itself, so you opted for your eyes to wander. But they landed on his lips instead, which wasn’t any better.
Scara’s dark eyes bore into yours, his gaze not wavering as you looked everywhere but at him. That was before you realized this was a literal photoshoot and adjusted your eyes back to him.
“Both of you, stop glaring!”
Scaramouche sighed above you, before forcing himself to soften his gaze towards you. It felt odd to be looked at like an equal by him.
You study Scaramouche closely, now that you’re forced to. He has these lips that are plush pink and they meet just barely like the slightest touch would coax them open. His eyelashes are long and there’s a beauty mark just shy of his eye coated over with concealer. His ears are small and there’s an assortment of earrings hanging off of them, ones he never wears during practice. He’s stupidly pretty. It makes you want to punch him.
“Alright, hold for ten then move to the next position.”
Ten seconds? That felt like hours due to the way Scara was looking down at you, a fabricated gentle gaze in his eyes as he eyed you up and down.
“Next!”
“The faster we comply the faster I can get out of this stupid position with you,” Scara huffs, his voice barely above a whisper before he leans forwards and hovers his lips right above your jaw. Your body instinctively moves its hands to run through his hair, as if you both were actually going to kiss. God forbid.
“Cut!”
The lights dimmed and Scara immediately pushed himself off of you. You slowly sat up, dizzy from the stress of being that close to someone you disliked.
“I’m the one who had to hover over you and you’re tired? Pathetic,” Scara huffs, reaching down to roughly tug your arm so you’re standing and almost immediately letting go of you after.
“Don’t you think this is a little too much?” Scara asks, walking ahead of you towards where Lisa was looking through the photos
“We made everyone do paired shoots, see!” Lisa says, turning the screen to show you.
You and Scara scroll through to see all your members in pairs like you both, but none of them are quite like yours.
“So Venti and Aether got to pose in a car and we had to fake a kiss?” Scara scoffs, “Where’s the delete button–?"
Lisa yanks the camera from him before he has the chance and shoos them off.
“I’ve got enough from you guys, go get your makeup undone.”
“This is so dumb,” you grumble as you follow behind Scara. All of this work because you both couldn’t keep your mouth shut during an awards show and now you had to fake being in love with the idiot.
You pray to Buddha, God, and whatever other deity out there that was most certainly laughing at you, that you can manage to get along with Scaramouche before anyone does notice it’s all fake.
stuck with you!
masterlist — prev | next
when i say moans i mean like the song Mmmh by KAI like do u see the vision
also the album cover can be you or one of the other members depending on what ur comf with 😇
pls ignore how is it fake is listed twice 😔 also the lyrics are from taylor i can see you
yk the drill comment on the masterlist if i can use ur user and make u a fan
synopsis — after the disaster that was the live award show, where you and scaramouche got into an argument on stage after both of your groups got a tie for top artists, your guys' PR teams have been in shambles trying to scrape up your mess. that's when the idea to send you both off with some other idols to a remote location for a survival dating show to mend your public image comes up. before you know it your bags are packed and you’re on a plane to a remote island. the only obligation is you need to end up with scaramouche at the end of the show, whether you end up liking him or not doesn’t matter to your managers as long as the show’s ratings stay high. whatever you do in between to get there is up to you!
notes sorry guys for the long wait i was lowk goin thru it but im back 🗣️
taglist closed — @na1lea @cindywasneverhere @lunavixia @aestherin @mlaakai @camvrin @retiredmommylover @iheartpieck @jangyung @cartierfiles @loveariel @silly-ez @mochipls @pomeiu @chuuismylife @flowerypesky @creammpuff @justanothertiredreader @boxdisappeared @kissmiere @kissingkzuha @webbywill @kazusboyfriend @s3xpistolss @pjsucks @bunns-wonderland @lordbugs @localgirlywithnolife @kosumos @danfelions @featuredtofu @pinxeajin @herebyaccident0 @haeunoo @scaradooche @pglt19 @chemiru @childesbabygirl @simonisferal @shutingstar @vxcmx @domimiki @ttalgi @esuz @tokkishouse @kitsuvil @scarasmood @ihearttori @nomurahayami @starringyau @androxphobic @kazuhasbabe
#scaramouche x reader smau#scaramouche x yn#scaramouche x gender neutral reader#scaramouche x male reader#scaramouche x y/n#scaramouche x reader#scaramouche smau#scaramouche x you#stuck with you smau
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LAST CHRISTMAS QUINN HUGHES
pairing: fem!reader x quinn hughes
summary: you are forced to confront lingering emotions and the complexities of a past romance when you and quinn cross paths at a holiday party.
warnings: no unfaithfulness but pretty damn close, quinn not being the greatest person/boyfriend, reader isn't that good either
wc: 2.82k
notes: based on 'last christmas' by wham!. i am fully aware that this is an extremely gay song, but i love the plot so i altered the interpretation a bit. hope you enjoy :)
Last Christmas, I gave you my heart But the very next day, you gave it away
The house hummed lowly, holiday conversations bouncing off the walls. You navigated the crowded living room, clutching a cocktail glass that held the homemade mixture that Colleen was calling ‘Mistletoe Kiss’. It was tart and slightly bitter — much like the season itself. Colleen was hosting a last-minute bash before everyone scattered for the holidays, a final get-together before the new year. The rush of the holiday season was clearly getting to everyone, seasonal jet lag laced in all your friends' eyes.
You were doing your best to keep your head down, getting yourself stuck in conversations to keep yourself occupied, and never exposing yourself to a potential interaction with Quinn.
The knowledge of his presence had landed like a gut punch earlier when Colleen’s boyfriend, Kyle, casually mentioned he’d arrived. “Yeah, Hughesy just got here. Grabbed a beer in the kitchen,” he’d said, completely oblivious to the ripple it sent through you.
Your history with Quinn was beyond complicated. For years you liked him — really liked him. When Colleen introduced you to one of her boyfriend's friends, you weren’t expecting to fall as hard as you did.
Quinn had this way of making everything feel lighter just by walking into the room. His smile, easy and genuine, had a magnetic pull, and his laugh �� deep and sincere — could dissolve any tension in an instant. It wasn’t just his looks, though they were undeniable. It was how he made you feel like you were the only person in the room, even when the place was filled with people.
But back then, Quinn was in a relationship, and you were the friend. The one who listened when he vented about the highs and lows of his relationship, the one who offered advice when things felt rough. You never let your feelings show — kept them buried deep, a secret you couldn't share without risking the delicate balance of friendship you’d worked so hard to maintain.
Then, the inevitable happened. Quinn and his girlfriend broke up. The breakup was messy, full of unanswered questions, lingering emotions, and unspoken regret. But through it all, you were there for him. The late-night phone calls, the long walks that turned into marathon chats about life and love. You were there as he processed his feelings, as he tried to make sense of everything that had unraveled. You listened, you comforted, and you kept your distance — telling yourself that you were just being a good friend.
But when he kissed you that night, everything shifted. It was a quiet evening, after a few too many drinks, the weight of the conversation having settled into something more comfortable between you two. You were sitting on the couch, the hum of the party muffled in the background, and Quinn, in that way of his, leaned in close. His eyes searched yours for something, as if asking for permission, and then his lips brushed against yours in a slow, tentative kiss.
For a moment, you thought you might wake up from some kind of dream. You never expected it to happen. The line between friendship and something else had been so carefully drawn, and yet here you were, tangled in the blur of it all. But you didn’t pull away. Instead, you kissed him back, your heart racing as the world around you disappeared.
That kiss changed everything. It was the moment you realized that maybe you had been falling for Quinn all along, not just in the way of a casual crush, but in a deeper, more consuming way. It was never just about being his friend. Somewhere along the way, you had become someone who wanted more than just to comfort him through the pain of his past relationship. You wanted to be a part of his future.
The shift in your relationship was seamless, like turning a page to the next chapter. Quinn wasn’t the type to make grand declarations, but in his quiet, steady way, he made you feel like you were the only person in the room. He showed up with coffee when he knew you’d had a rough day and pulled you into late-night drives just because he wanted your company. For a few fleeting weeks, everything felt like it was falling into place.
But there was always a part of you waiting for the other shoe to drop. Quinn was kind and thoughtful, but he was also guarded — his walls didn’t come down easily, even for you. You sensed that he was still carrying the weight of his past relationship, no matter how much he tried to hide it.
Just a few days after you’d rung in the New Year with a sweet connection of your lips, Quinn was sat on your couch with his hands clenched in his lap, telling you he wasn’t ready for anything. The sting of his previous relationship still lingered despite reassurances that you’d helped him get through it.
The winter months after that conversation were some of the hardest you’d ever endured. It wasn’t just the biting chill in the Vancouver air or the relentless gray skies; it was the hollow ache in your chest that followed you everywhere. The city itself felt like a constant reminder of Quinn. His face was plastered on billboards, buses, and newsstands, the unmistakable symbol of the Canucks’ future. You couldn’t even grab a coffee without overhearing someone discussing his latest performance on the ice.
You buried yourself in work, determined to fill your days with enough activity to keep your thoughts at bay. But no matter how much you distracted yourself, memories of him crept in like the cold drafts under your door. The moments you’d shared replayed in your mind on an endless loop, leaving you wondering if he regretted kissing you or if it had meant as much to him as it had to you.
By the time spring arrived, you were ready for a change. The first thing was your hair. You traded your usual style for a rich, darker color and committed to letting it grow long for the first time in years. There was something cathartic about watching the stylist cover up the light color that felt too tied to your old self. Next, you tackled your wardrobe. Out went the comfortable but somewhat juvenile staples, and in their place came sleek blazers, tailored pants, and minimalist jewelry. You wanted to project confidence and maturity, even if you were still trying to find your footing internally.
Spring turned into summer, and with it came an unexpected lightness. You threw yourself into hobbies you’d neglected — morning yoga classes, weekend hikes, evenings spent sketching at the beach. It was during one of those hikes that you met Caleb. He was warm, easygoing, and funny in a way that caught you off guard. He didn’t play hockey — thank God — but he shared your love of the outdoors and seemed genuinely interested in getting to know you.
Dating Caleb was simple in a way that being with Quinn never had been. He made you laugh and let you take the lead when you needed space. Over time, you convinced yourself that you were moving on, that you were happy. And you were — mostly. But there was always a part of you that felt like you were lying to yourself like you’d left a piece of your heart behind with someone who didn’t know what to do with it.
By the time fall rolled around, you had settled into a comfortable rhythm with Caleb. But Vancouver’s hockey season was back in full swing, and with it came the constant reminders of Quinn. You saw him in advertisements along the streets, in post-game interviews on TV, and in casual mentions from friends. He was everywhere, and no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t escape the shadow he cast over your life.
Now, standing in Colleen’s crowded living room, the knowledge that Quinn was here felt like a cruel twist of fate. You avoided the kitchen like the plague, keeping a safe distance while you plastered on polite smiles and engaged in surface-level conversations. Every nerve in your body was on edge, hyperaware of the possibility that at any moment, you might turn a corner and see him.
It wasn’t fair. You’d done everything you could to move forward, yet here he was, pulling you back into the orbit of what could have been. You couldn’t help but wonder if he felt the same way. Did he think of you when he passed your street? Did he ever regret telling you he wasn’t ready, or had he moved on completely?
You moved through the space, finding a new conversation to occupy yourself in every time the old one faltered, doing your best to avoid Quinn. You stopped at the entry of the living room, spotting Kyle holding court near the fireplace, his animated storytelling drawing bursts of laughter from the small crowd around him.
Caleb stood nearby, his grin soft and familiar as he leaned against the wall, his broad shoulders relaxed in the easy way that had initially drawn you to him. Watching him, a small smile tugged at your lips. Caleb didn’t demand space in your life — he simply filled it, effortlessly complementing your days. Being with Caleb was uncomplicated. He didn’t carry the weight of unspoken feelings or unresolved emotions. It was light, refreshing.
But light wasn’t the same as fulfilling.
A pang of guilt gnawed at you as you realized your thoughts had wandered from Caleb to the person you’d spent all evening avoiding. Despite your best efforts, Quinn remained an unfading part of your narrative. No amount of moving on seemed to erase him completely.
As you lingered in the corner of the living room, trying to fade into the background, a voice pulled you from your thoughts.
“Wow, I almost didn’t recognize you.”
Your heart jolted. You turned, your eyes landing on Quinn. He stood just inches away, his presence as commanding as ever. He had one hand tucked casually into the pocket of his dark jeans, the other holding a bottle of beer. His hair was slightly longer, curling at the ends, and the familiar cut of his jawline sent an unwelcome pang through your chest. His eyes raked over you, lingering just long enough to make you self-conscious of the changes he was referencing — the darker hair, the clothes.
You find the strength inside you to muscle out some words. “Yeah well… it’s been a year, it doesn’t surprise me.”
Quinn lets out a soft laugh, nodding slightly. “The hair suits you,” he added, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.
“Thanks,” you managed, your voice steady despite the storm brewing in your chest. You felt the heat of his gaze, his attention unnervingly focused. “You look good too,” you added, gesturing vaguely toward him. It was true — he always did, but now there was something different. An ease, maybe, or a quiet confidence that hadn’t been there before.
“I was starting to think you were avoiding me,” Quinn said, his tone light but his eyes searching.
“I wasn’t avoiding you,” you lied, taking a sip of your drink to buy yourself a moment. “Just…busy, you know? Catching up with people.”
“Yeah, I get it.”
For a moment, neither of you said anything. The air between you crackled with unspoken words, the kind that lingers in the space between two people with too much history and not enough closure. You glanced over to Caleb, hoping he saw you talking to your ex, hoping he’d come over and rescue you from the situation you couldn’t seem to tear yourself away from. However, the stayed intensely focused on the story Kyle was telling, leaving you to your own defenses.
Quinn followed your gaze across the room, landing on the guy he’d seen you arrive with earlier in the night. “Who’s he?”
Your eyes snapped back to Quinn as he tipped his beer bottle to his lips. You felt your cheeks warm, though whether from the cocktail or the sudden shift in conversation, you weren’t sure. “Caleb,” you said, his name firm and steady in your mouth, a reminder to yourself as much as to Quinn. “He’s…he’s great.”
Quinn nodded, his eyes locking on yours with that steady, unreadable gaze he always seemed to have. “That’s good. I’m glad for you.”
You hesitated, unsure why you felt the need to elaborate but knowing you couldn’t leave it at that. “He’s been really good to me, actually. Supportive, kind… everything you’d hope for.” The words came out earnest, almost defensive, like you were trying to prove something — to him, to yourself.
Quinn’s jaw tightened almost imperceptibly, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed. “That’s…that’s what you deserve,” he said softly, the sincerity in his voice cutting through you like a knife. The words were kind, but the way he said them made your chest ache. You opened your mouth to respond, but Quinn stepped closer, the subtle movement making your breath hitch. He studied you intently, his eyes tracing your face like he was committing it to memory.
“Are you happy?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
Your heart stumbled, the question catching you off guard. “Quinn…”
“Are you?” he pressed, his tone gentle but insistent. His gaze dipped briefly to your lips, and the air between you crackled with tension. “Because I’ve been trying to convince myself I’m okay with this — with seeing you with someone else — but I’m not. I miss you.”
The world seemed to narrow in that moment, the low hum of Colleen's holiday party fading into a distant echo. Quinn's words lingered in the air between you, heavy with longing and regret, and you felt your pulse quicken as he stepped closer. His familiar scent—a mix of fresh pine and something distinctly his—wrapped around you like a memory you couldn’t shake. The ache in your chest deepened as his gaze flicked to your lips again, and your breath caught.
You were terrified. Not of him, but of yourself. Of how easily you could lean into him, let him kiss you, and lose yourself in the familiarity of his touch. And the scariest part? You wanted to. Despite Caleb, despite everything, there was a part of you that ached to feel Quinn’s lips on yours again. To know, even for a fleeting moment, that he still cared.
But you couldn’t. Could you?
The sound of Caleb’s laughter cut through the moment like a lifeline. You turned your head toward the fireplace, where Caleb stood, his grin wide and carefree as he laughed at something Kyle had said. His warmth, his steadiness, and the way he had so effortlessly become a part of your life came rushing back to you. He didn’t deserve this. He didn’t deserve to be a footnote in a story still haunted by Quinn Hughes.
Stepping back, you forced yourself to put space between you and Quinn, the cocktail glass trembling slightly in your grip. “Happy Christmas, Quinn,” you said softly, the words catching in your throat but firm enough to leave no room for ambiguity.
Quinn blinked, caught off guard by your sudden retreat. His brow furrowed slightly, as though he wanted to say more, to stop you, but he didn’t. He simply nodded, his jaw tightening as he stepped aside to let you pass.
You moved through the room on autopilot, weaving through clusters of partygoers until you reached Caleb’s side. He looked up as you approached, his easy smile breaking into something warmer when he saw you.
“Hey, you okay?” Caleb asked, his hand brushing lightly against your arm. The gesture was small but grounding, anchoring you in the moment.
You nodded, forcing a smile as you slipped your hand into his. “Yeah, I am now.”
He smiled back, leaning in to press a light kiss to your temple. The simple gesture was everything you needed in that moment—a reminder of what you had, of the life you were trying to build, even if it wasn’t perfect.
But as Caleb’s attention shifted back to Kyle’s story, you couldn’t stop the fleeting glance over your shoulder. Quinn was still standing where you’d left him, his expression unreadable as he watched you. For a moment, your eyes met, and the weight of everything unsaid settled heavily between you.
You looked away first, turning back to Caleb and focusing on the sound of his laughter, the warmth of his hand in yours. You had made your choice—at least for now. But deep down, you knew this wasn’t over. Quinn had a way of lingering, of leaving his mark on your life even when he wasn’t trying.
And no matter how much you wanted to believe otherwise, part of you still wasn’t sure if letting him go was the right thing to do.
#quinn hughes#quinn hughes imagine#quinn hughes x reader#nhl#nhl imagine#hockey#hockey imagine#vancouver canucks#qh43#`✦ˑ ✒️ 𓂃⊹ my works
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hi! hope you're having a good day, could i request charles dating a reader who doesnt have friends? or just feels lonely in general.. it can be shy if you're not comfortable writing that! just some comfort🥹🥹 thank you!
false god 💋
"and i can't talk to you when you're like this. staring out the window like i'm not your favorite town"
summary: gf!reader and charles get into an argument after ferrari underperforms again.
song: false god by taylor swift
author's note: wrote this bc i had that song stuck in my head oops. no warnings really- just a bit of manipulation if u squint a little. (ALSO HI IM BACK <3)
word count: 2.2k
They all warned you about times like these. The girlfriends of the other drivers looked at you with wary eyes. Most of them vowed to never date a Ferrari driver, but your connection with Charles was unlike any other that you had before. Never date a driver in red because they love that team more than they’ll ever love you, you’d been told before. You always responded with nervous smiles and shaky laughs, hoping that in reality the other girls you had come to know were just playing some sick joke. Like this was all some sort of initiation into the clique that was girlfriends of F1 drivers.
None of their words felt true when you were next to Charles, his hands on your waist or your head cradled into his neck. Nothing had actually felt more right. You brushed off the warnings from the other girls and chose to focus on the love between you and Charles. You never brought any of this up to him, completely unwilling to cause any unnecessary drama between the close knit group you found yourself in. All of these people have known each other for years, and you were the latest addition.
In July, with three race weekends back to back, Ferrari’s dominant streak would be tested. Red Bull and McLaren were powering ahead with upgrades and race pace, and it appeared that the powerful scarlet team was falling behind.
You noticed the tension in Charles’s face after a bad qualifying pace or another bad race result. The boundaries were being stretched. You observed how Charles would brush away your hand at dinner or neglect to kiss you goodnight before bed. The last two weeks had been hell for you, and in the back of your mind you wondered if there was some truth in what the girls had said months ago. Maybe these Ferrari men are just too much to handle after all.
Before the third and final race of the triple header, Carmen, girlfriend of Mercedes driver George Russel, pulled you aside to have a chat. “I know things have been hard for you and Charles.”
You furrowed your brows, “What?” You laughed nervously. You hadn’t mentioned anything about the tensions between you and Charles recently. The only way Carmen and the other girls would have found out is if Charles was feeling the same way and he told them himself.
“Not that I’ve heard anything, just- you know. Ferrari has been falling behind, everyone can see it. And I know Charles cares for you, but that man has loved Ferrari since he could walk. When they don’t do well- when he doesn’t do well- he’s bound to take that out on the people around him.” Carmen easily articulated her explanation, which made your mind swirl even more as the small smile finally fell from your face.
You sighed, becoming flustered with the whole situation, and the warm sun beaming down caused a sheen across your forehead. “I just don’t know what to do.” You were unsure if Carmen was someone you could fully trust, as you hadn’t exactly made any super close friendships with them. The past couple of months, your whole focus has been Charles.
“Just know that it isn’t your fault. Before I dated George I dated a Ferrari driver. Their passion for the team and the intensity in their competitiveness makes them unlike any of the others.” She paused for a moment before she continued, “What you have to do is really try to read his emotions and find that balance of giving him space and being there to comfort him. Stand by him when he needs it, and back off if it seems too tense.”
“That sounds kinda hard,” You broke into a small smile, overwhelmed with the new information you had gained.
Carmen grabbed your hand, “It’ll be okay. If I do know one thing, it’s that Charles is falling for you. Through thick and thin, I think you guys can make it.”
A small wave of relief washed over you, “Thanks, Carmen.” As long as someone had faith in your abilities to handle Charles, you didn’t feel so alone.
~
As most of the fans expected, the Austrian Grand Prix did not go well for Ferrari. Your heart sank when Charles finished outside of the points for the third weekend in a row. It would greatly hinder his ability to fight for the championship. He needed nothing short of a miracle to come back now.
You knew Charles had been dealing with the press for the last couple of hours, and you didn’t meet back up in the paddock with him until it was time for the two of you to leave to go back to Monaco for the next week.
You sat in the passenger seat of his car as he drove in silence for a few minutes, navigating his way out of the paddock. Once the two of you had made it onto the main road, you decided to read where his head was at.
“I’m sorry my love,” you comforted him and grabbed his free hand, giving it a light squeeze. He sneaked his hand out from your grasp, resting it on the steering wheel. You couldn’t help but feel your stomach sink.
“It’s just ridiculous, we can’t seem to get anything together.” He huffed in frustration, and you wondered if he even realized he had pushed your hand away.
“Despite the strategy issues, I thought you had a really good drive today.” Maybe a compliment would help?
He scoffed, “I could’ve been better. I made too many mistakes, regardless of how scrambled our strategy was.”
You weren’t sure how to respond. You thought it was best for him to ruminate and think things out the rest of the way home. You had the rest of the drive to the airport, and then the whole plane ride to see if he was feeling any better. When you had to speak, you avoided any mention or talk about the race, or more specifically Charles’s performance.
On the plane, you flew back with Lando and Oscar. Oscar had a fabulous race, and almost won it all. Lando on the other hand fought with Max the whole race and ended up with a DNF. So the plane ride was full of mixed conversation and feelings. Oscar was proud of his win and complimented the McLaren strategy, while Lando aired out his grievances for Max’s intense competitiveness. Charles chimed in regularly to tell them they should consider themselves lucky to not have to deal with the Ferrari pitwall.
Still, you stayed silent, letting the three of them talk things through. You sat next to Charles in your seat but kept to yourself, trying to read your book but really you were listening to the conversation around you. Not once did Charles take your hand or give you a small peck on your cheek. As it appeared to Lando and Oscar, you and Charles didn’t even look like a couple at all.
You began to feel that aching pang of loneliness that you were so familiar with before you had met Charles. The feeling of having no one to speak to in a crowded room. You hated to appear shy and reserved, but didn’t want to push yourself to be outgoing. You had been dating Charles long enough that he knew one of your love languages was physical touch. You loved nothing more than small moments of affection, but in the past few weeks it seemed like he wanted nothing to do with you.
~
Charles opened the door to his apartment in Monaco, the moonlight being the only thing that shone on the furniture and pictures hanging on the walls. He languidly flicked on a couple of lamps, adorning the living room with a warm glow.
“You’ve been quiet.” He stated plainly, moving to the kitchen to fix himself a glass of water.
You took a moment to respond, “Well there’s not really much for me to say.”
Charles turned from the fridge to face you, and looked at your face, seeming to analyze the tone of your words. After he took a sip of his water he asked, “Are you alright?”
You laugh nervously, “I’ve been better.”
He furrowed his brows, “What’s the matter?”
“Cmon, Charles. You can’t be serious.” You knew you were treading dangerous waters, but this conversation was long overdue, and after the exhausting plane ride you felt yourself boiling over.
He looked back at you expectantly, not knowing what you were getting at.
“You haven’t noticed the way things have changed between us in the last three weeks? You haven’t noticed that when Ferrari starts struggling you push me aside?” Your voice was steady, but it shook slightly in a mix of nerves and frustration. In all the times you’ve let Charles air out his frustrations, you’ve held all of yours in.
His lips parted and you knew he was shocked but mostly confused. All of your questions were rhetorical, of course he hadn’t noticed. “You never hold my hand, you’ve stopped introducing me to your friends. I feel like the past few weeks I’ve only been someone for you to fuck to let your anger out.” You were really letting it out now, the words flowing out of you like they could no longer be contained.
“That’s not true.” He persisted, walking out from behind the counter into the living room where you stood.
Tears pricked up in your eyes, “It doesn’t matter if it isn’t true, it’s what I feel.” You brought your hand to rest on your chest.
“Listen, you know I’m happy with what we have, I don���t want to change anything about it. But you know my career is important too. My loyalty to this team is important.” He tried to explain himself, but you ruffled your fingers through your hair in exasperation.
“I fucking knew it, they were right.” You mumbled to yourself, now pacing.
“Who was right?” Charles pressed.
“The other girls!” You raised your voice, “As soon as we got together and you were bringing me around the paddock, they warned me. They told me to never date a Ferrari driver. That you’ll always love that damn team more than you’ll love me. They said it so. many. times. And then Carmen told me yesterday that she knew we’ve been having problems and that the more Ferrari struggled the worse you would get.”
Tears fell down your cheeks as you continued, “I’ve tried, I’ve tried so hard. I’ve said all the right things, held your hand when you’re mad, tried to compliment you to make you feel better about yourself. None of that worked, you would still barely look at me.” Your breathing was heavy and your voice had become raspy with tears.
Charles moved closer to you, grabbing your trembling hands, “Come on, breathe my love.” You took a deep breath as he moved one of his hands to wipe away your tears. “I’ve never said anything to the other girls about us, I don’t know why they said those things to you.”
“But- the way you’ve been acting-” you sniffled, looking into his eyes that were filled with such care. You hadn’t seen that look in what felt like forever.
“I know, it’s been tough for me lately. I’ll take full responsibility for not treating you properly. You didn’t deserve any of that.” He gave your hand a slight squeeze, waiting a few moments before speaking again. “I do love this team, and I will push to be the best driver I can possibly be, but…” he swallowed, “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t falling for you. You are becoming more and more important to me by the minute, and I’d quit racing today if you asked me to.”
You let out a dry laugh, “You don’t mean that.”
“Every word.”
You were quiet, just looking in his eyes. You could tell he really did mean it. This thing between you and Charles was becoming more serious as the days passed. You knew that you were falling for him too, which is what made these past few weeks all the more confusing.
“If I could give you any more assurance, it’s that racing- this career- will never ever be a priority over you.” He leaned in to place a light kiss on your temple.
“I just hate to see you struggling like you have been. I like it when you’re all happy.” You curled your lips into a small smile, and he grinned back.
He shook his head slowly, “Trust me, I know.” You wrapped your arms around his neck, resting your head on his chest. His lips kissed the top of your head, and everything felt right in the world again.
You pulled away, locking eyes with him. “It gets lonely sometimes, in the paddock. I feel like I’ve failed to make any genuine friends.”
He planted another kiss on your forehead, “Well, you could always keep to yourself. Be above any drama and gossip. You’d surely be the coolest one there. Then, when it’s all said and done, we have each other.”
You giggled into his kiss on your lips. Maybe you could eventually trust the other girls eventually, but their cold welcome to you was definitely unappreciated. But you had Charles, and more importantly, you trusted Charles. And you knew that bond wasn’t going away anytime soon.
#formula 1#formula one#formula one fanfic#f1 x reader#charles leclerc x reader#f1 fanfic#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc
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With all my heart, my love and my unfiltered adoration - Part three.
Summary: The letters back and forth between our loves through the rest of the war. Word Count: 2.1K A/N: we are def rolling with some historical inaccuracies in regards to letters here but sue me, do i know how long the letters took? not a clue. but google gave us a good guess. john egan how i miss you, i need your love so here i give you mine. Part two link.
Dear Major Egan,
I'm delighted to hear I'm with you. I hope you know, that you've been with me too. It's rather insane to me if I think about it too much, just how much I've thought about you in the time that I've waited for your letters. Part of me was worried that you would think I was a little crazy righting to a man I didn't know and an even bigger part of me was worried my letters would reach you too late, but I'm glad you were happy to hear from me.
I don't mind that you're a simple guy, in fact I think I like that, then I won't have to worry about impressing you whilst we write back and forth I can just say what comes to mind. I like to think that I laugh quite easily myself, laughter is free right? And right now I think we could all use a little laughter in the world. I'll tell you my favorite song next and then you can tell me yours, I love you are my sunshine, it warms something in my chest whenever it comes on, I just can't help but smile you know? Your turn John!
I wish I could know exactly where you are, then I could know if you were some place safe but I'll settle for knowing you're still out there. As for me, I'm in Washington, Redmond to be more precise, is that anywhere near where you're from? I'd like to meet you very much Major.
With all my anticipation, excitement and continued adoration,
A friend from home x
Dear Darling,
That's what the boys have been calling you ever since your second letter arrived and given I don't know your name, that's what I decided to roll with. I hope that's alright.
I have no idea how your letters keep finding me at the exact right time, it's like fate keeps leaving it till it knows I need to hear from you. You should also know, it wouldn't matter to me if you were a little crazy, I know I'm crazy so you'd just fit right in. I don't think anyone that thinks laughter is free could be considered crazy though. You seem to good for such a thing.
I've had you are my sunshine stuck in my head for the past few days whilst I tried to find paper to write you. I think the boys were grateful at first because I wasn't sinking Blue Skies my old favorite, now I think they're ready to kill us both darling. Next question, do you like cats or dogs more? I'm not telling you my answer till I know you can be trusted.
I am with you. Know that much, and I guess Washington will be my first stop when I'm back home.
Please never stop writing.
With all my wondering, respect and ever growing adoration
John Egan
Dear John,
I could have given you my name. But I've decided that darling will do quite nicely for now. If you want to know my name you're going to have to make it home and come and get it yourself.
Is it sad of me to confess that every day I don't get your letter I get a little bit sadder until one comes through? I just hate the wait each time even though I know that these things take time. Writing you might just be the most stressful thing I decided to be. How does anyone's heart survive doing this?
You'll be pleased to know, I've been annoying the girls plenty in return with Blue Skies since learning that it's your favourite. I feel like it tells me a lot about you Major. Sing it for me sometime? I also feel like your question is a trick, a cat and a dog have very different purposes in life so I'll just chose both if that's ok?
I wanted to tell you I joined the war efforts myself since I last wrote. I'm in the factories now and I have to admit, I've never enjoyed having dirty hands so much. I'm helping to build the planes. The wings specifically, I think they put me here because I wouldn't stop talking about my pilot John.
I wonder if anything I ever build will make it across to you? My letters won't stop as long as yours don't John.
With all my curiosity, joy and bursting adoration.
Your darling from home x
Dear Darling,
I'm in a terrible mood. Buck said I can't start my letter like that but I told him you'd be alright. You don't mind do you? I have to tell someone or I think I might actually start going a little crazy. I might already be crazy if I didn't get just as excited as you do when the mail call comes through.
I wish I knew you before the war. I wish you knew me before the war, I fear I might not be the John that came to England. I don't even know if I'm the John that start writing you all those months ago. I'm just sort of hoping you won't give up on me anyway even if my letters ain't always sunshine.
And I'm glad darling, I'm so god damn glad that waiting on my letters is the most stressful part of your day. Reminds me why we're doing this, what we're over here for. To keep you all safe at that side.
I suppose I can give you cats and dogs though. I wouldn't want to pick either if we really had to come down to it. My girls smart though huh? Making those planes for us to fly? I gotta say the idea of that does something to me and my bad mood in a good way.
What I wouldn't give to be home with you right now and I never even met you.
My longing, wishing and steady adoration
John Egan
Dear John
You can write to me, come rain or shine, bad moods or good. I don't want to just be here for the fun parts Major. I may not have known you before the war, and I may only just be learning who you are now but I don't doubt for a second, every part of you is worth knowing so tell Buck that I'll take it all and he can keep his opinions to himself.
I'm sorry, it was thoughtless of me to say writing letters were stressful when you're over there doing what needs to be done. More news keeps reaching us and each day I am terrified that your name is going to appear on a list somewhere.
I know that you can't be here, and I can't be there, but I wanted you to have some small piece of me with you so I sent you something with this letter. Keep smiling with me John, through the good and the bad, just keep smiling if you can.
I hope to see you so soon.
All my determination, strength and adoration
Darling x
Dear Darling,
Buck said he's sorry. He won't ever doubt you again. I think you two would really like each other you know.
He's my voice of reason these days, or rather he always has been. One of my two favorite people, him here, and you all the way over there. How is home? Does it still smell as sweet as I remember it?
I'm a little convinced that you're too good to be true darling. Your picture caused more whistles and taunts that I've seen from the boys in forever and I would have knocked them all on their ass if Buck didn't strike and tell me to sit down again. How do you not have a solider of your own to be writing too?
Sometimes when I get down time. I like to day dream about what you're up to over there. How many planes you fixed up for us, imagine taking you dancing on a Friday night, do you have siblings? Your folks still around? I've been trying to picture it all.
I dream of that soon more than I care to admit.
With all my promises, thoughts and adoration
John Egan
Dear John,
I'm glad you have a voice of reason. We wouldn't want you getting up to any trouble now would we? Are you the sort to be in trouble a lot? I get the impression you could be Major Egan.
How are your moods holding up these days? I can't help but worry about you over here even when I'm meant to be busy.
If you could see the blush that you have all caused you would all be ashamed of yourself. I promise I'm real. I tried to get my friend Meg to let me send a picture of her but she claimed you were really going to show up here one day and then you'd be looking for the wrong girl.
I like the idea of you imagining things. It means I'm not the only one. I do have siblings, an older sister who works in the factories with me, and a little brother who is out fighting with you somewhere but his own girl writes him. My folks are both still here with me too. What's your family like?
I do have a solider of my own to be writing John, I have you.
Tell me a secret if you can?
Your darling x
Dear Darling,
Forgive me because this letter will be short, but I needed to send it out before we move. If you don't hear from me in a while, don't worry, I'll write back as soon as I'm able. I want that name, I want the dancing, I want you to meet my mom when I'm back.
You want to know a secret darling? I think it's taken me ten letters to fall in love with you after all you've given me.
With my heart, my love and my unfiltered adoration
John Egan
Dear John,
I'm writing even if you might not get this because I refuse to believe anything else other than you're busy for a while. I'll be over here waiting for you remember. I'm with you even when I'm not.
I have so much more to tell you and things I want to learn before I am satisfied.
In fact, no I may never be satisfied and then I never have to let you go.
You'll be in each of my thoughts till I hear from you again John, I think loving you took me one letter.
With all my heart, my love and my unfiltered adoration
Your darling x
Dear John
I don't think I've taken a real breath in weeks. I figured I would write you again, just in case the first one didn't reach you and you thought I hadn't wrote back.
Your name hasn't appeared on any lists so I refuse to believe that you're not still out there waiting to come home to me.
In case you missed it in the first letter, I love you too.
I am still expecting you home John Egan, I'd be with you till you were. That was the deal right?
With all my heart, my love and my unfiltered adoration
Your darling x
Dear John
If my letters and love don't reach you where do they go?
Tell me more secrets please? Tell me anything? Tell me you'll sing for me like I asked? What do I do if I never get to meet you?
I've checked each list I've found twice every day for months now. Meg said I'm a mess but I don't really care, I just want to know that you're alright. Even if you're not coming here. Please just tell me you're safe John.
With all my heart, my love and my unfiltered adoration
Your darling x
Dear Darling,
Sorry, I didn't think a little while would be that long but I've thought of you every damn day I couldn't write to you. I got your letters, all three of them made it to my base some how.
I'm hoping I beat this letter home so that I can tell you in person that I love you.
I hope you like what arrives in Washington darling, but please bare with me if it takes me a second to adjust. I'll tell you everything, all of it, anything you want to know about me. I feel like I have very little to offer you but it's all for you now. I'll be home so soon.
With all my heart, my love and my unfiltered adoration
Yours,
John Egan
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osctober day twenty one
prompt: bulletproof pairing: lando/oscar word count: 700w
“Well, I told him it was a bad idea,” Logan says, through the tinny speaker of Oscar’s phone, that’s propped up onto the kitchen island, against Oscar’s fruit bowl.
Bulletproof, nothing to loose
“But he did it anyway, because I don’t think he ever actually listens to anything I tell him,” Logan continues.
Fire away, fire away
“So he vaults off the Yacht, catches his foot on the railing, nearly brains himself on the hull, and then goes hurtling into the water.”
BULLETPROOF
“I dive in after, thinking he might be unconscious, I’m like, worried as shit and he just emerges, laughing his fucking ass off like nothing’s wrong.”
NOTHING TO LOOSE
“I mean, something was wrong, because like, he has this massive gash in his foot now, had to get a bunch of stitches, it was a whole deal, but the- Oscar? Are you even listening to me?”
FIRE AWAY, FIRE AWAAAAAAY
“Hm?” Oscar says.
“Oh, great,” Logan says. “Have I just been talking to myself for the past five minutes?”
“No,” Oscar says, putting his focus back on the phone, scooting closer so his own face fills the little screen at the bottom. “No, I’m listening.”
“Sure,” Logan says. “So what have I been telling you about?” Oscar pulls a face. Logan raises an eyebrow. “Exactly.”
“I’m sorry,” Oscar says. “It’s just, my soulmate…”
Logan winces in sympathy. “Another song?”
Oscar sighs. “Same two lines. Over and over.”
“Yikes,” Logan says. “At least mine sings the entire song when they’ve got something stuck in their head.”
“Lucky you,” Oscar deadpans. “Alright, I gotta go. See you later, yeah?”
“Later!” Logan yells, and then hangs up.
FIRE AWAY, FIRE AWAYYYYY, his soulmates blares happily. Oscar tunks his head down on the counter.
--
“Oscar,” Lando says, three hours later.
Oscar, who has been listening to the same two lines of Titanium for like three hours now, looks up, happy for the distraction. “Yeah?”
“Listen this is, this might sound strange, but I have this song stuck in my head, and it’s starting to drive me nuts, so I can imagine my soulmate isn’t faring much better and I just. I read somewhere, that it helps if you listen to the whole song, except I can’t remember what it is?”
Oscar snorts. Apparently having annoying songs stuck in your head is just a running theme today. “Yeah, sure, what is it?”
“Oh, it’s like-“ Lando says, and then the most earie thing that’s ever happened to Oscar starts happening.
Lando starts singing the opening lines of the chorus of Titanium, in perfect tandem with the little voice in Oscar’s head that’s been singing the song over and over all day.
“Well?” Lando says. “Do you know it?”
Oscar stares at him. For a really long time. Wonders if this is really happening. Wonders if maybe Logan told Alex who told George who told Lando and now they’re making fun of him. Wonders what he would do, if. If.
“Are you joking?” He asks, genuinely.
“What?” Lando asks, frowns. “No? They played it in the airport earlier today but I forgot how the rest of the song goes and it’s been driving me nuts.”
It did start somewhere slightly after when Lando landed. Oscar knows, because Lando texted him. “Holy shit,” he says, and then again, for good measure, “holy shit.”
“What? What’s wrong, is this song like, weird? It’s not weird, right? It was like a massive hit, why are you-“ Lando never gets a chance to finish the rest of his sentence, because Oscar chooses that exact moment to kiss him full on the mouth.
“Sorry,” Oscar says, when he pulls away. Lando is just staring at him with big eyes, clearly confused. “Sorry, I just. Uh. Remember when you said it must be driving your soulmate pretty nuts?”
Lando nods.
“Well, it has been. Driving me pretty nuts. All day. Also the song is Titanium by David Guetta and Sia, if you were. Wondering.”
“Holy shit,” Lando says, and then again, for good measure. “Holy shit.”
“Yeah,” Oscar says, and then Lando leaps forward and kisses him again.
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under the same roof | l.j ft l.m
♡ genre: smut - mdni! slight angst | roomates to lovers | word count: 2,455
♡ pairing: lee jeno x f. reader
♡ warnings: unprotected sex, oral (f. recieving)
♡ summary: tensions rise when your roommate mark goes out of town for a few days, leaving you with your other unfamiliar roommate jeno. will you be able to bridge the gap between the two of you or continue to avoid each other until mark returns?
♡ authors note: this idea was based off a dream i had (not abt these members) but i wanted to adapt it.
♡ song recommendation:
"should I just move out? i don’t want to cause any problems,” your voice tinged with unease. mark turned to you, his gaze softening. he took your hand in his, giving it a reassuring squeeze. the voices from the movie you were watching fading into the background. "dont be ridiculous, i want you to stay,” he said firmly before pausing. “however you aren't going to like this. i do have to go out of town for a few days for work.”
your eyes widened, and you felt a pang of anxiety. “please don’t go. or at least take me with you,” you pleaded, clinging to best friend and fellow roommate's arm. mark frowned, his expression a mix of sympathy and practicality. “if you get uncomfortable, you can stay with chenle or haechan or literally anyone else. i don’t want you to feel stuck here with jeno.”
just then, jeno emerged from his room and observed the exchange from the doorway, his expression inscrutable. "he hates me mark and i dont know why or how to fix it," you said, voice low. upon hearing that he shook his head and retreated back into his room.
it had been a few months since you had moved in with mark and one of his close friends, jeno. you felt like a burden, suddenly interfering on their space like this. you had unfortunately found out your boyfriend was cheating and had just gotten dumped, leaving you in a tough spot. with nowhere else to turn and mark being a saint, he offered his help to you. upon your arrival, you were told that jeno had a puppy like deamenor to him and that he was harmless. however, as soon as you stepped through the door, boxes in your arm slightly blocking your view, you crashed into his strong figure. looking up at him, apologizing profusely, he had an unreadable expression on his face, barely holding eye contact with you. without saying a word, he brushed past your shoulder and entered his room. since that day, you tiptoed around him, unsure of how to proceed. you weren't a very outgoing person to begin with, and making new friends was always an adjustment for you. mark tried to bridge the gap between you for the first few weeks, but it was no use, jeno wasn't budging. "hes stuck in his own ways. thats just jeno, but eventually, he will come around." mark was quick to say whenever he noticed you getting upset.
the next day, mark was gone and the apartment was eerily quiet. you wandered into the kitchen having just woken up, before spotting jeno. you barely acknowledged each other. reaching up for your coffee mug in the cupboard, you felt jenos gaze fall on you. "why are you wearing my shirt?” he asked, his voice slightly accusatory. jeno hardly ever spoke to you, not used to hearing him, you froze in place and muttered, “fuck,” under your breath. “i thought it was mark's. the laundry must have gotten mixed up." you studdered out looking at your feet, not wanting to meet his eyes. "but I can give it back.”
jeno's eyes softened slightly, a smile peeking its way onto his lips. he reached up behind you, outstretching his muscular arms, grabbing the mug you were having a hard time reaching from the shelf with one hand. he lingered for a moment, the sounds of your heart ringing in your eardrums. “keep it." his body pressed against yours, the other hand that was by his sides, brushing the hem where the shirt met the tops of your thighs. "it looks good on you.” he whispered in your ear. with that, he set the cup on the counter next to you and turned to leave the room.
later that day, you found jeno in the living room staring intently at the tv screen playing video games. you hesitated but eventually joined him on the couch. you didn't speak at first, his voice shocking you for the second time that day when he asked if you wanted to play with him. as the hours passed, you became more comfortable and ended up stretching out with your legs draped over his lap. jeno's hand lightly rested on them occasionally tapping or rubbing them when he wasn't pressing the controls on his remote. the awkwardness was fading as you got used to his presence. what was once an intimidating aura quickly softened and became comforting.
getting bored of staring at the tv screen, you and jeno began to further unwind with drinks and music, sitting criss cross on the living room floor, trying to break down the walls that had surrounded you. what better way to do that than with a game of truth or dare. eventually, the conversation turned to why jeno had been distant with you.
"i was nervous,” he admitted, his tone sincere. “i didn’t know much about you before you moved in. you’re one of mark's closest friends, and to be honest, i thought there might be something going on between you two, so i wanted to be respectful of that.” you laughed, and jeno jumped at hearing the sudden sound. it surprised him, but it was adorable, and he wanted to hear it more. "mark is like a brother to me, we ran around in our diapers together as kids"
jeno's cheeks flushed, a ting of embarrassment present on them. he moved closer, his eyes studying yours before continuing. “well, i think its cute how you cling to him.” you rolled your eyes playfully, you couldn’t help but feel flustered. “trust me, we aren't normally like that. i was only clingy to him because i couldn’t even go near you” you confessed, barely even registering what you said. jeno scooted closer to you, placing a hand on your bare knee. “looks like you can get close to me now,” jeno said softly, faces inches apart. your eyes flickered from his fingers, clutching the skin of your leg to the darkening pools in his eyes. you cleared your throat "um its my turn, i think," your voice becoming hoarse. "so what will it be truth....or dare" jeno quipped, lips curling upwards.
you felt a rush of emotion go through you. you didn't know if it was the liquid courage that you had, or if you were finally reaching a turning point but unable to resist, you whispered, “dare,” before leaning in. "i think you know what i want," he said in a hushed tone. his breath was mingling with your own, as you contemplated. just earlier today, you were terrified of the man, but that fear had turned to lust and greed. "fuck it" you murmured, placing your lips on his. jeno immediately took both your cheeks in his hands, pulling you in closer. the minute you moved in and crashed into him, you bumped him off his axis. he was flustered, and that never happened to him. you were beautiful and he knew he had to control himself for the sake of keeping the peace but now here you were in his arms, kissing him with such force, you knocked him even more off his guard.
you slipped your hands up his black tee. he was toned and felt incredibly hot against you. you broke away from the kiss, gasping for air. the sexual energy in the room was turned up 10x when he pulled his shirt over his head, revealing the rest of his body. you had to stop yourself from drooling at the sight. to be honest, the moment you met jeno, despite how he treated you, you felt drawn to him and maybe that's why it upset you so much that he didnt feel the same or so you thought.
it had been so long since you had been intimate with a man. every atom in your body was relishing at the feeling. you were extra sensitive, his hands gripped your...well his shirt and hiked it up to your belly button, as he kissed down your neck, to your collarbones, practically ripping the shirt in all directions to get as much access to you as he could. once he reached the top of your underwear, he sunk his teeth into the fabric, pulling down. honestly, he wasn't sure what had overcame him. this urge was unlike anything he had ever felt. on one hand, he felt like he had to prove just how sorry he was for how he treated you before and showed you that he wanted to do better. on the other, he had heard about your breakup from mark before you moved in, and as be observed you this whole time, he couldn't imagine why any man would be dumb enough to cheat on you. he wanted you to forget all about the hurt and finally move on with him.
he looked up at you, searching your eyes for any hint of hesistation, but all he was met with was the same desire mirroring his own. "do you trust me?" he asked, wanting confirmation. you wrapped a hand around his neck, pushing him closer to where you wanted him. thats all it took for him to wrap his lips on your clit. a surge of electricity surged through you, his mouth hot and tongue wet and skilled. he flicked the nub before moving down to your entrace, diving in deeper and twisting and turning to hit all the angles in your walls. if this was his form of an apology consider all to be forgiven.
you tasted like hints of cherry from the soju you had been drinking. your thighs tightened around his head, entrapping him and closing any potential opportunity for air to seep through. he chuckled against your heat, sending vibrations further into you. the noises you made and movement of your hips pressing into his face, he could tell you were close, and as much as he wanted to taste you completely, the throbbing in his pants was becoming unbearable. he was griding into the floor, the thought of your pussy sucking in his cock was swimming in his head as he swirled his tongue in circles around your nub once more. he pulled himself away from you, and before you could protest, he leaned up, pressing his clothed dick in between your thighs and buried his face in between your tits.
"do you still think i hate you?" he whimpered into your chest as he continued his movements. precum was leaking through his sweats mixing with yours, but before he could continue, he wanted to be sure the sex filled air was clear. you brushed his dark hair out of his eyes, you were seeing the puppy look for the very first time. every worry, negative thought, any resentment you had felt towards him melted away. you brought his face closer to yours, the distance between you becoming insufferable. you realized then that you didn't need any more space from jeno. space was a response to fear, and you had no reason for that any longer. "i think we have come to an understanding now" you said before filling in the gap.
you were fully locked in to each other, his hips swaying and snapping into yours. your pussy was like a void, minds going completely numb as pleasure took over. it wasn't enough for you, as you clawed his shoulders and back, wanting his body as near to you as possible. your lips moving in harmony to the feeling of his cock curling into you. you felt like you were falling through the floor, your back digging into the carpet below you as jeno pushed and bent your body to his will. if you had known that you were living with a sex god, you would have made amends with jeno long ago.
curse words littered out of your mouth, your orgasm teetering over your head. you were clinging onto it for so long, unable to let go of this feeling. when jeno had his way with you, would he go back to pretending like you didn't exist when mark got home? you didnt want to think of it, you wanted to place your faith in jeno. it was only one night, realistically how much could this actually change things between you two. jeno slowed his movements down for a moment, noticing how you had tensed up and tears began forming in your eyes. he couldn't bring himself to fully stop, not when you were both this close to being fully enveloped in each other. he kissed away the salty tears as they fell, moving his hand that was leaving bruises on your hip to your chin lifting to meet his tender gaze.
"stay with me, i promise i won't leave you alone again." he said confidently. you saw a twinkle of hope in his eyes, the sparkle of the truth. your mind began to settle, nodding your head and blush, finding its way onto your cheeks. jeno sped his hips up again, knocking your foreheads together as he smashed his lips into yours again, drowning in them. your orgasm thrashed over you moments later, finally feeling at peace. the war between your mind, body, and heart was settling. you lay there with jeno on the carpet of your living room, basking in the feeling of acceptance of one another.
-------------------------------------------------------
you woke up the next morning in jeno's room, having moved from your previous spot after you had regained yourselves. remnants from your late night sexscapade still hanging in the air. you were still groggy when you heard mark’s voice calling your name from the living room. "y/n? are you here?" mark’s voice was full of concern.
you jumped out of bed, shaking jeno awake. "jeno! get up! go distract mark and keep him in the kitchen!" jeno rubbed his eyes, looking confused but nodded quickly. you scrambled to throw on some clothes. the urgency was palpable—you and jeno's stuff was scattered in the living room, and mark was dangerously close to discovering it. as you finished collecting your things and hiding them, you heard mark's voice getting closer and nearly collided with him as he exited the kitchen. reacting instinctively, you threw my arms around him and hugged him tightly.
"whoa, you missed me that much?" mark laughed, his voice a mix of surprise and amusement. "was it really that bad without me?" he winced. you managed a laugh, "yeah, it was the worst." glancing over mark's shoulder and catching jeno's gaze. he was standing behind mark with a knowing look. you sighed, feeling a mix of embarrassment and relief.
you all settled down on the couch and started to fill mark in on the events of the past few days. "so, jeno and I spent some time together, and we actually got closer." mark looked intrigued. "oh, really? that’s great! what did you guys do?" you hesitated, choosing to leave out the more intimate details. "just hung out, talked a lot. it was... nice." mark offered a smile before wrapping his arms around both of your shoulders. "maybe i should go out of town more often then. i told you he would come around eventually." you could feel jeno's eyes lingering on you, and he added, "yeah, you should," offering you a wink.
♡ ending authors note: i was getting really into it and decided to split this up into another part, so that will be uploaded very soon! i hope you enjoyed
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LOVING SEPHIROTH, sephiroth x reader.
tw. mentions of his hurtful past, emotional abuse that miniroth didn't deserve :( this post can be seen as suggestive but it's left mostly to your interpretation
a/n. for @silverflqmes , my best friend who has inspired me to write yet again for something i love and for writing various requests for me, indulging me in my own happiness. you are never leaving this deep hole of ff7 that i dug for you AHAHAHAH! this is also for the many fans who have made fanfics and such that have shaped me now<3 much love to you all! (i will make more headcanons if this gets love) also sephiroth might be a little ooc since he's new territory of writing for me :,)
info. very lovable and soft sephiroth<3 very short blurbs! inspired by the song everything by lifehouse, i can see him relating about you, the reader, and how he feels for you. enjoy! pre-nibelheim!!!
𐚁. sephiroth's love language can be seen as quality time as seen with the time he spent with genesis and angeal, he grew very attached easily. i can see this in a similiar way since i'm sure once you've caught sephiroth's eye, you're happily in his heart. he enjoys just being together, perhaps he'll teach you how to use masamune (a toy version at least since he wants to protect you from injuries). don't get me wrong, every other love language applies for him too but i know he's happiest with the fact that you're there by his side.
𐚁. he is very awkward with affection so the first time you hold him, i think he wouldn't know what to do but he'll awkwardly pat your back while trying not to freak out a bit by being touched since he was experimented on as a child. please teach him how to love, he didn't get enough as kid... i think being patient with him would also warm his heart with you as well. he isn't the best with people, just in using his sword... which is why it's an anomaly to him if you stuck around for this long.
𐚁. indulging ellie on this one: sephiroth with a kitten. he probably is the one to adopt a kitten out of the two of you except what you didn't expect was him to basically mother the kitten. i think his wounds are still healing from the fact that the locket of his mother was torn away from him.. but you guys both loved that kitten very much, naming saikou which means radiance. it is the radiance of both of your lives and definitely a way to heal from your guys' pain, whatever it may be from your end but i know sephiroth suffers from loneliness and feeling not good enough. he feels this much less because of you though and of course, saikou. saikou is now your love rival... the kitty is his precious baby but you are his most prized treasure.
𐚁. while i said quality time is his favorite love language, i think that he likes physical affection as well since he never really knew what it's like to be loved. he wanted to learn though as well as learn to love you which led to teaching him how to cuddle. still very awkward, he's trying his very hardest as he pats your head and encases you into his body. eventually it led to couch cuddles every time he came home from work, he won't say it out loud but this is his favorite part of being able to be with you. he is so beyond smitten.
𐚁. as sephiroth had been in SOLDIER all of his life, he's not completely sure the best way to comfort you on many things but what he can do is to give you a better night! he'd come home with flowers since somehow zack had talked him into buying flowers from his girlfriend, what can i say? zack was a persuasive businessman and sephiroth had no clue how to be a good boyfriend. he'd probably panic if he couldn't make you feel better, he just wants you happy and would slay his enemies (those who wronged you). he'd indulge you in just about anything that you wanted to do between him trying on your favorite dress, self-care day with face masks, kisses all over to make you less insecure or just to feel more loved, an ice cream date, etc. you name it and it's done. he'd even sneak you into the training room on the SOLDIER floor to take you on a loving date with an even more beautiful sunset but all he could see was his sun, you.
𐚁. you already know his hair care routine since it was leaked from your mail, did i mention you were apart of sephiroth's fan club? he uses a WHOLE bottle of shampoo and conditioner. one day you had to braid his hair, adding in flowers to his hair as you braided it. he loved it since it kept his face clear for combat, meanwhile genesis and angeal snickered at him since his s/o made him look all pretty so none of his enemies would take him seriously. masamune said differently than his hair did. if somebody ruined the artwork of your braiding? they ALSO had a date with masamune.
𐚁. he doesn't like a lot of attention as many would say since he is so famous. this is the big question, how did you enter his life in comparison to the fangirls? you understood him. it was a new feeling for him and he didn't know how much he would end up loving it. no thirsting over how hot he was or saying how strong he had been. just a simple: "i know you've been working hard for so long, you deserve some rest," was enough to make him moved by you. nobody could compare to you in his innocent heart. he was so new to every experience, every hug, every kiss, and every touch you gave him. each time was something new that he had learned to love about you and eventually love about himself as well. you helped him to understand he was more than a monster, more than a soldier, more than just a test subject.
𐚁. what you hadn't expect is to find a loving sephiroth in the kitchen with you, holding you close to him as you listened to italian cooking music (the pasta addict in me thinks he'd want to learn more about pasta and its origin). his head was leaning down towards yours while staring down at your lips as you both had been swaying. his hand had been on your waist and the other had been moving up from your shoulder, over your neck slowly with care, to your soft cheek. capturing you in his lips, the water had boiled over but he didn't care at that moment. the thing he clung onto most was this moment because at this moment, sephiroth just knew. he was in love and he finally felt free as he deepened the kiss. he knew where home was and he was kissing his own home, taking in all of what makes you so lovable as well.
melukonova, 2024. 𐀔
#smash bros (🌿)#sephiroth x you#sephiroth x reader#sephiroth ff7#sephiroth#ff7 x reader#ff7#ffvii x reader#ngl i can appreciate sephiroth more now cause my bestie open my eyes to the beauty that is analyzing sephiroth
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Can I request Spencer (later seasons, post prison era) gifting his gf an initial necklace, but the pendant is his initial?
i.e.
"This is nice, Spence, but my name doesn't start with an 'S'."
"Yeah, but mine does, and you're mine."
Feel free to take it as far as you like 😏
A/N: ehehe yes ofc, i love thissss, but also a lil funny bc my name DOES start with an S :P so imma change the dialogue a bit. keepin dis sweet- there is a lil steamy moment for like two sentences however mostly this is fluff, hope you enjoy it, my love!
Fluff, no warnings (?), gender neutral language (im p sure, lemme know if i missed something!), 2.5k words
Spencer’s apartment is flooded with the music of joy; light jazz pours from an old style radio in the living room, your shared laughter tumbles into the rest of the place from the small kitchen, the sound of knives and forks scraping decorated ceramic plates signals the end of a well-enjoyed meal.
It was date-night for the two of you, a rare occurrence as of late due to Spencer’s teaching commitment. Initially, you were excited, thinking you would be getting more of him to yourself. You kept that thought to yourself, though, seeing how upset he initially was at not being able to help his team in the way he wanted to. That exhilaration was shut down particularly quickly as Spencer had begun bringing his work home with him. When he was working only as a profiler, sure he’d be away from you most of the time, but when he came home he’d spend all of his time present and in the moment. Now, at times, having him home almost felt worse than when he’d be away.
In the moment, however, everything was perfect. This is how you wished every night could be. The two of you bumping shoulders as you both prepare dinner; glasses of wine clinking with a cheers; old love songs serenading your flushed ears as Spencer pulls you into his arms to delicately waltz around the kitchen; his balmy eyes peering down into yours, speaking words of love and comfort. This serene feeling of domesticity was addicting. Life had been a whirlwind the past year, with it only being about six months since Spencer came home from prison. Things were jarringly different at first, both of your lives changing the way being wrongfully imprisoned changed Spencer, but you didn’t care. You could fight every battle life threw your way as long as your beautiful boy was by your side. Some days were more difficult than others, when Spencer would be reminded of the atrocities he witnessed in jail or what he had to do to survive. He’d isolate himself, snap at you, or push you away; but this evening was a good night- it almost felt like you had your old lover back.
“Dinner was delicious, angel.” Spencer beamed at you from the other side of his compact dining table, using his cloth napkin to wipe at the corners of his lips.
“Well,” you chuckled, pushing out of your seat to collect both of your plates, “you helped me, that’s probably why.”
Spencer quickly followed your movements, whisking the dishes out of your hands with a sweet kiss pressed to your cheek before taking them to the sink. “It was all you, beautiful.” he had whispered against your skin while leaving your side.
You silently shook your head, picking up your wine and water glasses to be washed. “Should I dry?” you questioned as he turned on the faucet, pulling a tea towel from the cabinet below you.
Spencer shook his head, “It’s okay, they can air dry.” he spoke with a little shrug.
“Okay!” you responded bright-eyed, throwing the towel down onto the counter next to you, a bit too excited at the prospect of not doing anything. Your reaction peeled an infectious laugh from Spencer's beautifully cerise lips, his nose scrunching involuntarily. You could stand there and just watch him exist for the rest of eternity.
And you did just that for a minute, took in the sight of him humming along to the jazz standard wafting in from the other room, engrossed in scrubbing the food stuck to the pans you cooked in. His jawline and upper-lip were shadowed in scruff, trailing down the sides of his Adam’s apple. His hair was long now, wavy and pushed back from his face, exposing his strong forehead and giving you unrestricted access to gaze into his gentle cinnamon eyes. The years passing changed his appearance in so many ways, and you loved every bit of it. Your eyes trailed down to graze over the top of his chest, exposed by the first few buttons of his deep cerulean shirt undone; they moved over the slopes of his broad shoulders, and down to his arms working steadfast to clean up the remnants of your meal. It didn’t escape Spencer how you were drinking him in without a care in the world, paying no mind to his elbow occasionally bumping into your torso.
“You having fun there?” he teased with a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth, eyes never leaving the task at hand. His words spurred you forward.
You simply hummed in response as you moved to stand behind him, your front pressing firmly into his back. Spencer’s eyebrow arched questioningly, but he kept his mouth shut, simply letting you do as you pleased. Your head peeked over one side of his arm, hands sliding down until they reached the cuff of his sleeve. Deftly, you began folding them up, “Just helpin you,” you mumbled as a throwaway explanation, moving to his other side to do the same. Fingernails scratched at his newly exposed forearms, your muffled giggle turning Spencer’s smirk into a wide grin. “Done!” you announced, wrapping your arms around his abdomen before nuzzling your face into his broad back. Over the barrier of fabric, the running water, and the sound of his scrubbing Spencer barely heard you ask, “Didn’t I help so much?”
His chuckle sent vibrations into your cheek, “Yes, honey, you were a big help. Thank you.” Content, you pushed your face further into his shirt.
The two of you stood like that for a few more minutes, Spencer trying his best not to move too much in order to keep you comfortable. You haven’t back-hugged him like this since before he was framed, and he didn’t realize how much he missed it until this moment. He washed the dishes a bit slower than normal, reveling in the heart-warming scene. Soon, however, he was done.
As soon as he turned off the water, you were off him, moving to pick up the once-forgotten tea towel and face him, leaning against the edge of the sink. “Thank you for your service, soldier.” you unseriously saluted before taking each of his dripping hands in his and patting them dry.
A titter broke through his smile as Spencer reverently gazed down at you, the way your eyes twinkled under the soft-yellow lights of his old kitchen, your beautiful hands turning his own over to attack any remaining droplets of water, your eyebrows twitching reflexively here and there in focus. The first time he laid eyes on you all those years ago he was shot in the heart by Cupid’s arrow, and it has stayed there, firm in place, ever since.
As soon as you were done, Spencer softly cupped your face in his palms, your fingers wrapping around his wrists as he tilted your head up to look at him. He leaned down, pushing a passionate, yet gentle kiss onto your mouth. Before you could deepen it, he pulled away just enough to mumble, “I have something for you.”
Your eyebrows shot up in surprise, and you looked up at him in confusion as he pressed one more peck to your lips before moving into the other room, your hands chasing after him. Once his words processed in your brain you perked up, excitedly following behind him.
“You got me a gift?” You question, reaching where Spencer stood at the side table by the front door, right in front of the intricate, gold trimmed mirror you hung up just last week. Your eyebrows furrowed as you watched Spencer pick up the weekly newspaper, “Uh, you got me the…local paper?”
With a roll of his eyes, Spencer wordlessly pulled you to him by the waist, mimicking your earlier actions by pressing his front into your back. You stumbled a bit, catching yourself by grabbing onto the forearm wrapped around your torso, holding you up, Spencer’s fingers digging into your waist. You peer at him curiously through the mirror before he whispers in your ear.
“Look,” he motions down with his chin, and you do as you’re told. Spencer moves the haphazardly folded newspaper to the side, revealing a glimmering deep emerald velvet box. From the size of it, you could tell it was some jewelry other than a ring. You gasped in shock, not even having seen its contents. “Spencer…” your voice was meek and unbelieving.
He watched you through the mirror, his cheek pressed against your temple as he opened the box before you. Your alluring eyes widened to their limits, hands flying up to cover your mouth. Your gaze whizzed to meet your lover in the reflection, “You got me a necklace??” your words dripped with incredulity. Spencer had gifted you generously in the past- rare books, handmade accessories, clothing you had your eye on, tickets to see your favorite artists live- but never before had he bought you jewelry. You never minded, content with wanting the first piece he gives you to be an engagement ring. That being said, this surprise moved you immensely. You took in the gorgeous necklace shining proudly up at you. A dainty chain in the metal you wore the most, in the middle sat a heart-shaped locket, no bigger than the tip of your pinky-finger. Before you could speak again, Spencer shifted to open the locket for you, revealing two pictures. One was older, taken at JJ’s wedding; Penelope had been going around taking photos of everyone and as soon as she neared the two of you, Spencer scooped you up into his arms as if you were the bride. The moment frozen in time showed you in the midst of a bellowing laugh, clutching to Spencer’s shoulders in shock, with your boyfriend looking upon you as if you were an angel incarnate, an equally wide smile plastered across his face. The second photo was more recent; you had invited the whole team out to a picnic brunch shortly after Spencer was released and this time Emily was the one taking candid photos. The two of you were cozying up at the edge of the yellow gingham blanket, Spencer's arms wrapped tightly around your figure rested between his legs. In the photo, his hand was cupping your jaw, tilting your face up to bring your lips close to his, the snapshot proudly showcasing his grinning mouth just centimeters from your own with the sunlight stretching out in the background.
“Oh, Spencer,” you were at a loss of words, your fingers hesitantly tracing the silhouette of the pendant, “It’s so beautiful, my favorite pictures…” you murmured.
Spencer hummed and nodded in response, setting the box down to take the necklace out of its confines. He straightened behind you, stretching the necklace out in front of your face, “Let me put it on you, baby.” he whispered, mouth barely moving.
You happily obliged as he brought the chain closer to your neck, moving your hair to one side to better allow him to clasp it behind you. Spencer watched you the whole time through the mirror while your eyes were fixated on the necklace. The cold metal of the locket hitting your warm skin caused a minuscule gasp to part your plump lips, but Spencer noticed it all. The way your chest rose and fell faster, chasing after your quickened heart; the way you drew your bottom lip in between your teeth; your uncertain hands grasping at his trouser legs behind you. Once the chain was secured, the locket resting perfectly in the dip of your collar bones, Spencer placed soft, warm kisses to the exposed skin of your shoulders and neck, holding eye contact with you with each; even as he moved your hair to dutifully pepper the other side. You sighed as his arms returned to engulf your waist, tighter than before, your hands moved to rest on top of his. He noticed your eyelids flutter close just for a moment, taking him in, before they opened again and your gaze shifted back down to the reflection of the necklace. Your eyes glinted with uncertainty upon noticing the engraving on the locket you hadn’t fully processed earlier.
“‘S’...” you spoke, reading the letter dangling from your neck. You kept your inflection steady, trying to make it seem like you knew exactly what it stood for, but Spencer knew you better than that. Before you could make any assumptions, he spoke up.
“For ‘Spencer’.” he stated matter-of-factly, his face moving up from your shoulder to rest against your temple again.
You smiled at him, more confused than before, “But aren’t you supposed to put my initials on it. You know, cuz it’s my necklace?”
“No,” he murmured sternly against your hair. Spencer’s left hand slipped down to grab onto your right hip, his right hand traveling up your sternum to thumb over the locket before splaying out to rest just below your throat, the heart pendant resting on the back of his hand.
Another, louder gasp sucked through your lips as Spencer tugged you closer to him, your back arched a bit as it stretched, bum pushing into his groin.
“I put my initial,” he started again, heading dipping down to mouth against the shell of your ear, his eyes looking at you in the mirror through his cocoa lashes had you biting your lip, “Because you’re mine. And now everyone will know it.”
Suddenly, you whipped around in Spencer’s arms, throwing your own over and around his neck, hugging his body close to yours. He stumbled back a bit in shock, grabbing onto your lower back to steady himself before a laugh shook through his shoulders.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” you enthusiastically repeated, pressing kisses along his stubbled jawline with every word. “I love it so much, Spencer.” you pulled back all the way to stare up at him, gaze filled with genuinity. One of your hands remained on the back of his neck, the other coming down to fiddle with the locket, “This is the best gift I’ve ever gotten.”
His previously mischievous demeanor melted off his back as Spencer drank in how you dripped sweetness. “I’m so happy to hear you say that, honey.” His hands rubbed up and down your back. “I know things have been…complicated lately. I’ve been distant and cold, which I want to apologize for, but you’ve been beside me through it all. You’re my rock, and I just wanted to show you a bit of my gratitude.”
You shook your head as you pushed up onto your tippy-toes to kiss him again, the hand on your locket moving to lightly scratch at the side of his neck.
“I’m all yours,” you muttered against his lips, tilting your head to the other side to slot yours upon them again. You pulled away after a couple seconds, “You don’t have to thank me, my love. I know you would do the same for me.” You pressed a few more kisses to Spencer’s supple lips before pulling back again, causing him to huff. “Are you mine?” you whisper.
Innocent doe-eyes coupled with a small pout had a quiet groan dragging from Spencer’s throat. He brought a hand up to trace your bottom lip with his thumb before tangling his fingers in your hair,
“I’m yours, baby.” he nodded. “Only yours.” With that, he pulled you back in for a sensual kiss.
A/N: omg sorry if this sucks im so sleepy right nowwwww it took so long to write this for some reason i cant process words properly but i wanted to finish this! i loved writing this piece, and i hope y'all like reading it. ANON! how'd i do?
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behind pixels: sequel | jjk
jeon jungkook x reader (f)
genre: sex worker au (jk)
rating: mature audiences only (strictly 18+)
summary: after visiting a certain little app where a guy assisted you during a very stressful night, you realize the man is closer to you than you think.
warnings: not another continuation to a college au. . yes, yes it is; a bit of fluff, a but of smut; wetdreams-ish; masturbation; clitorial stimulation; fingering; in a public location… if you know what i mean; penetrative sex; unprotected sex; oc is a bit insecure; crush culture; i think that’s it honestly
word count: 12.7 thousand words
posted: may 13, 2023
notable songs: self control - frank ocean | love is only a feeling - joey bad$$ | day dream - destin conrad | fire in the sky - anderson paak
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It’s been two weeks.
An entire fourteen days since you were blessed with JK’s instructions as assistance to a night of relief from a collection of frustrating days.
The night when his thunderous voice soothingly lead you towards the most delicious orgasm you’ve experienced. Days after that very event you found yourself dwelling in the fanasities he had communicated from the other side of the screen — dusting off the records stored deep in your brain. All you wanted, all you craved was his voice, his attention, and the one thing you had not been able to experience yet, his touch.
After locking your dorm room door, you removed you shirt and shorts before plopping down on your cotton bed sheets. Your eyes were shut tightly blocking out the brightness from the lamp on the nightstand, with the constant linger of JK in your head your hand began traveling lower until it finally pushed past the hem of your panties. The feeling of your fingertips against your clit sent bolts of electricity en route down your back. You began, working towards that same finish line you’d once crossed when talking to JK on Eargasm. But it wasn’t the same, it’s like you were on that same road you once were but your destination moved farther and farther into the horizon.
Still, with beads of sweat streaming down your temples and with your right hand going numb you continued to rub circles against the sensitive bud in-between your folds.
“Come on, come on,” you huffed as your already muggy dorm became hotter and hotter.
But it wasn’t working — It was useless. Your fingers were useless.
“Doll,” you heard his voice from across the room.
“JK?” your eyes flew open envisioning the man you’ve only spoken to from behind your computer screen. You weren’t sure why but it was so hard to draw the connection between the two of them. There was JK, the man who helped you just a few nights ago with his alluring utters. Then, there was him, still JK only he was the boy who sat behind the front desk in the student center with his nose constantly stuck behind a book. They were the same person but they couldn’t be any more different.
Standing at completely different ends of the road. One became the personification of all of your carnal desires, while the other hid behind a clear shell unbeknownst to the effects his beauty had on you, on all of those around him.
“What are you doing here?” you asked, dazed by the fact that he was here. . in your dorm and you were semi naked in his presence yet again, “how did you find out where I live? How did you get in?”
“Don’t worry doll,” he still wore the black mask he wore when he was on camera with you but you could tell by the way his eyes crinkled up that he was smiling behind the dark cloth, “I’m here to help. And by the looks of it seems like you just might need my assistance once again.”
He nodded in the direction of your hand buried under the fabric of your panties.
“I don’t have a masturbation addiction, OK?” you sat up on the bed resting your back on the headboard.
“I never said that,” he chuckled, “if you haven’t noticed I’m a sex worker and if anything, I’m addicted to making people cum.”
“Right.” You cleared your throat, his bluntless shooting straight down to your core.
“By my records I made you cum very. . very quickly,” yes, you were still succumbing to the endorphins of your thoughts circling around him — too focused on the way the bed dipped right beside you, “do you remember that?”
“Huh?”
“Come on, doll,” his hand landed right beside your thigh and he began gently stroking the fabric of your sheets, “don’t tell me you forgot already.”
“I didn’t,” there was a tingle slithering on the surface of your skin, “I was just thinking—“
“You’re thinking of him again aren’t you?” he shook his head, “just remember I’m just a couple messages away and he isn’t even around.”
“Him?” if only he knew. He was him.
“Him. That boy you told me about,” the pads of his fingers brushed against your thigh leaving a trail of goosebumps behind, “the one you said you were thinking about when you were touching yourself.”
“I wasn’t thinking of him.”
“Don’t spare my feelings doll. Tell me the truth. I can take it,” in a way he was right you were thinking of him, the boy from the student center but that also meant you were thinking of JK — how would you even go about explaining this situation to the very man who was clueless to the fact that he was the only person occupying your thoughts?
“When you wanna forget about him for a bit you know where I’ll be doll,” he leaned in and whispered in your ear softly, “I’ll show you a good time.”
His cool breath met the shell of your ear almost in a slowed motion, it left you a shuddering mess. Overcome by the feeling of the electrical currents coursing through your veins. You were addicted to that very feeling but specially because you knew he was the only person who could make you feel what you felt.
“JK, I promise, I’m not—“ you opened your eyes only to be met by a vacant space beside you on the bed.
Fuck. Not again, not again, not again. Everytime you found yourself aiming lower in an attempt for self release he visited you. Storming your thoughts like a tropical storm and wreaking havoc in his path. Reminding you that your fingers no longer had a sense of direction in mapping out your fantasies.
Your fingers now entirely futile. All while your sexual frustrations rose and your cunt continued its rhythmic drumming mimicking a quickening heartbeat. It was increasingly painful and it reminded you of the ease you’d once experienced under JK’s ministrations.
“I’m going crazy. .” you whispered out into the void, “I’m going fucking crazy.”
Temptation drew you closer and closer to the laptop laid out on top of your desk. Although you tried to restrain yourself against it, leaning back on the feeling was much easier. And before you knew it you were sitting on the computer chair with the browser opened up staring right back at you.
In your mind, you typed out Eargasm over and over again — yet there was a hint of hesitation restraining your hands to the arm’s rest.
“He’s just a couple words and clicks away,” you typed out the letters but your hand remained hovering over the keys incapable of actually conducting the search. Surrounded by silence and the anxious streaks of hesitancy — there were an abundant number of questions clouding your mind. But the main one remained whether he would even want you there.
“Just do it, you little bitch,” realistically speaking the chance of JK being online was high, but wasn’t exactly the issue. You knew he extended an invitation for you to visit him at your leisure but in the back of your head you couldn’t help but wonder if you were pushing it demanding his attention this quickly?
The clacking of the keys echoed among the walls of your room. Immediately, your eyes were exposed to the bright turquoise full screen with the seven letters highlighted in a bright pink tone. The more you ogled the welcome screen the more you were consumed . . fervid with the excitement cooking up in your stomach as you came to terms with the fact that JK was so close. In a haste you clicked on the message icon wanting to pull up the very familiar username but to your demise there was a ruby colored ring surrounding his icon. He was with someone else. . Someone who wasn’t you.
This is his job. You repeated.
He does this every night. You repeated.
There was an aching sting springing in the center of your chest and while prior to that night your heart remained at a sinus rhythm, in this moment that changed and you could feel as the organ slowed pumping almost coming to a full stop.
It really shouldn’t sting but you couldn’t help that it did.
“Please tell me you’re planning to go back home at some point this summer,” your best friend approached the table you occupied on the second floor of the dinning hall.
“Not a chance,” you swayed your pointer finger left and right.
Though, campus was significantly bare during the following scorching months there was nothing to really go back home to. While, you didn’t necessarily have a bad relationship with your parents — they were just never there. The purpose for their living and breathing was reduced down to avoiding you so they became addicted to their jobs. A pair of workaholics looking to forget about their personal lives, which only resulted in becoming estranged to their only daughter in the process.
And at the end of the day you’d rather spend nearly all three-hundred and sixty five days of the year on school grounds as opposed to being cooped up in a ‘house’ with nothing but empty rooms and frigid hallways.
“I can’t believe you actually chose to stay here. If I were you I’d be springing right past those brick columns and archway,” she sighed resting her head on her palm.
“How about we actually get you to pass that pesky math elective so that we can get back to your family for the entirety of the summer.”
“What about you?” she asked.
“What about me?”
“What will it take to finally get you to go back home at least once next summer?”
“I don’t think anything is compelling enough for me to go back there and ruin my summer,” you shrugged while taking another bite of your sandwich.
“Come on,” she whined, “Nothing?”
You shook your head — there was nothing back home for you but stark loneliness. That was crystal clear to you.
“There’s not a special somebody waiting for you?” Once again, you shook your head.
Nada.
“So you’re telling me there's not a mystery man who’s the root of all your pent up sexual frustration?” She raised an eyebrow at you, clearly not believing a single word out of your mouth. You hushed her immediately, scanning your surroundings to make sure the people in the surrounding tables weren’t hearing in on your conversation. They weren’t.
“Can you shut the fuck up?”
“You act as if it’s a crime,” she rolled her eyes, “everyone masterbates and it’s actually healthy you know.”
“I would really appreciate it if we could hold this conversation until we are behind closed doors,” you uttered through gritted teeth, feeling like you had the label ‘recent masturbater’ plastered on your forehead.
“Fine,” she took yet another bite of your apple, “will you at least tell me if Eargasm helped you illustrate all of your wildest fantasies.”
“You make it sound like it’s some sort of elaborate form of art,” you guffawed.
Her bulging eyes stared at you as if you’d insulted one of her family members or a pet, “It is an art form. It definitely is. Just think how hard it must be to help someone get off by quickly reading their body language through a screen.”
“When you put it like that the guy I saw must be a magician,” God, you tried stripping all hints of excitement from your voice at the casual acknowledgment of his presence.
If anything JK himself was an art piece himself, illustrated onto the canvas with pristine brush strokes detailing all the perfect curvatures of his face and physique. He draped himself in dark hues and even within the square frame just hung on the wall he was a light source. One that demanded your attention, holding eye contact at all times and refused to let you dedicate even a bit of your attention to anything or anything who wasn’t him.
“What do you mean by that?” she squinted while crossing her arms at her chest.
“Well, for starters,” you shrugged, “I kind of never turned on my camera. . Not for the beginning of the session at least.”
“Not for the entire session?”
“Exactly.”
“Bitch, that was a question not a statement.”
You sighed; blanketed with bashfulness, “so after I requested a video session and he finally called I physically couldn’t hit the camera button.”
“And what did he say?”
“Nothing condescending,” you took a sip of your water, “he was actually really nice about it. That was pretty much the session.”
“But you insinuated you turned it on at some point?”
You stared out the glass windows adoring the wall beside the table — Now, you began to weigh your options. You could either deflate, avoid or confess. And at this point you were one hundred percent sure she has seen far too much. Much more than you ever intended to show anyone on this entire campus.
“I said that?” Avoid? Ok.
“You did. .” She pushed her chair closer to yours, perhaps her attempt at creating a concealed atmosphere.
“I have nothing to tell.”
You kissed her teeth simulating hints of annoyance at your discretion, “Bitch. . stop acting clueless. You’re a shit liar.” She eyed the way you anxiously played around with your hooped earrings.
“I’m not hiding anything” you let go of the silver jewelry and sat up on your chair, “And I’m not a shit liar.”
“Fine. Spare the juicy secrets.” She shrugged, “but at least tell me who you saw.”
After giving the tables around you a thorough scan to make sure he wasn’t near you finally whispered the only name you knew him by into her ear, “I almost chose Tae but then remembered you see him so I saw JK instead.”
“Well, I’m glad you didn’t cause Tae is mine,” she grinned like a fool. A love struck fool.
“Yours, as in yours and probably a hundred other girls. You know that, right?”
“That’s the crude reality isn’t it?” she sat the half eaten apple on the table huffing continuously like a mopey child, “how was JK though?”
Your tongue felt heavy in your mouth and while there were a million praises you wanted to express, all of the words sat idle in the back of your throat, “he was good.”
“Just. . good?”
“Well, better than good actually,” you began, urging your mind to unscramble the words needed to amplify his saccharine aid, “He was gentle and patient. But even more than that he was also sweet and caring.”
“I’ve read this man’s description before so he has tattoos and an eyebrow piercing right?” you nodded in confirmation, “plus he’s a literal angel?”
“Pretty much.”
“Dear God, how are you even breathing right now?” she placed her arms at your shoulders and rocked you back and forth emphasizing your existence here on planet earth as you finally comprehended that you weren’t just living some sort of venereal dream.
“I-I honestly don’t even know,” the flashed lingers of that night resided in your mind in small clips — the more you tried to recall the amatory details the more your mind became cloudy, dazed in its own lustful elixir. A potion so potent you were still high days after just off that hour doze, “it was definitely a night.”
“You should visit him again,” she began poking your side, “I know you wanna see him again.”
“I don’t know,” you giggled, pushing yourself away from her finger, “I honestly think it was a one time thing.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, I think so.”
General Ed classes were frankly the worst part of university. You couldn’t quite understand the need to take all of the same classes you took and passed in highschool just so that they could reaffirm that you could in fact do math or knew your basic knowledge of biology or chemistry.
It was bullshit — An evident cash grab scheme. All at the expense of dedicating one’s freshmen year attending classes we truly didn’t even really need applied to our major.
You could sincerely rant about this all day long but it was currently nine in the morning, you were running low, (very low actually), on coffee and you were already ten minutes late to your intro to biology class. Your pace was matched with long strides as you were practically running through the courtyard.
Finally pushing through the glass door you felt the way the blanket of sweat covered your forehead. Leaving your skin as bright as polished glass and your breath shortening as a result of the rapid trip between your dorm and the library.
“Fuck,” you were out of breath choosing to take a seat on the bench near the entrance for a seconds before reluctantly hoping back on your feet and trotting up the stairs to the computer room.
Looking through the door’s window you saw the professor lecturing away. You practiced about a dozen ways to go in before you finally convinced yourself to just barge in — which eventually you did but a wave of regret washed over you when the door behind you closed with a loud bang and suddenly all glares were on you.
“Sorry,” you muttered.
“No worries, it happened to almost everyone here. Seems like the door is louder than we perceived,” the professor replied.
Scanning around the mid-size room you saw foreign faces staring back at you until your bestfriends smiled beamed brightly from the table at the end of the room. She was sitting alone with two vacant chairs on either side “Yeah, seems like it.”
“Well, welcome to Intro to Conducting Research. I’m Mr. Kim.” he introduced himself with a tender smile, “I hope you found your way ok. I know this one’s kind of a hidden gem unlike the rest of the lecture halls.”
“It did take me just a bit of time,” you chuckled, suppressing your nerves as they quickly urged you to scramble away from the front of the class and just sink into a chair to prevent yourself from verbalizing anymore idiotic babbles and incoherencies, “is the seating assigned?”
“No, no go ahead and find a seat wherever you’d like. We were just getting started.”
Quickly, you found yourself plopping on the chair beside your bestfriend, puffing out the constrained breath that had taken your chest cavity hostage as a result of your embarrassing entrance. Mr. Kim continued his first day lecture which mainly consisted of a syllabus reading, his life’s story and the scrambled rules to an icebreaker on the white board.
“What do the icebreaker questions say?” your friend asked, squinting to get a better look at the board, “I left my glasses at my dorm.”
“Does it matter?” you slouched down aiming for complete comfort slinging your feet on the metal bar, “we literally know everything about each other already.”
“Bullshit, I have no idea what your name is. .” Her delivery was accompanied with low and raspy vibratos. If you didn’t know any better you would have thought she was mimicking Mr. Kim’s voice. She pulled her phone from one of the pockets of her book bags and began scrolling aimlessly.
Your chuckle was airy and quickly vanished when you heard the rusty hinges of the door wailing out. The loud noise from the door meeting the threshold startled you although your eyes were already glued to the front of the room.
“That door is going to drive me fucking crazy,” the exasperation in her words was evident and you were about to agree but suddenly, you had moved from your place right beside her — feeling like she was now miles away. While you were now in this narrow space similar to an alley or tunnel. In the distance you saw her still glued to her phone screen while sitting on the opposite end; succumbed to pitch blackness. Even as you stood and attempted to sprint in her direction you were condemned to the enclosed walls.
You couldn’t tell whether you were trapped within a dream or a nightmare but he was here.
JK was here.
That was the torment drumming itself amongst the walls of your skull as the beat etched the stills of that night deep into your brain. The night you swore you would forget yet here he was to remind you of every second of it. Yet, your gaze was focused on him and you just couldn’t peel your eyes away.
You’d concluded it was entirely his fault. He possessed the kind of beauty you’d only ever heard derived from the ancient Gods of Greece — and as if he was a descendant of Aphrodite he held distinct associations to his name. You would argue JK was synonymous to beauty (obviously), love, passion and most certainly lust.
You must have been deep in orbit because you couldn’t recall the first or the second or the hundredth time your friend called out for you, so much so that she began shaking you to get you to snap out of it.
“Cute boy is coming this way,” she nodded in his direction, and you quickly realized he was closer than you had perceived, “Look alive bitch. He definitely looks like your type.”
“I don’t have a type,” you whispered through gritted teeth — he was close now. Just a few feet away.
“Yes, you do,” she mumbled back, “he’s practically a carbon copy of your Eargasm boyfriend.”
“He’s not,“ you argued quietly.
With her giggles circling through the air and your bulging eyes of horror JK finally made it to the proximity of your table and his soft utters sent an algid shiver to take route on your skin freezing you right into place.
His name was Jungkook, you’d learned.
He was JK but he was also Jungkook.
Between unremitting stutters you introduced yourself briefly and he took the liberty of occupying the only vacant chair left in the classroom which also happened to be right next to your best friend.
Small talk was your kryptonite and while your friend excelled in keeping conversations alive, you sat opposite the two of them lulled into space. Making your best attempt to seem as least interested as possible. But the truth was whenever you heard his voice you thought a command would follow right behind it — just like the ones he communicated that night.
Your thoughts were scrambled into a mess and there was a dull ache in between your legs further accentuating the frustration you’ve felt for far too long.
“What about you?” he asked, his eyes were duly set on you.
“Huh?” his brown eyes were so much more invasive in person and you felt like he devoured you with them.
“Is this your second year too?” he repeated.
“Uh, yeah,” you said, “it is.”
“Don’t mind her,” your friend said, “she’s a little out of it.”
“It’s ok,” he smiled; and quickly you noticed the silver hoop sparkling on the corner of his lip. Was that always there? You hadn’t noticed before. “Being here for the summer has us all going a little crazy.”
“Is this your first summer here?”
He nodded, “I usually head back home for summer but I figured I would get my gen ed’s out the way.”
“We all had the same idea I suppose,” you contributed.
“It’s better than being here for a whole extra semester,” she played mindlessly with the zippers on her backpack.
“What about you guys?” he asked, “is this your first summer here.”
Your friend quickly began recounting her endless summer adventures from years prior. . far far away from campus. Jungkook nodded and they both reflected on the forsaken summer ahead. Deflated at the exceeding number of voyages they’ll be missing while condemned to remain on campus.
You couldn’t help but wonder about the things you had kept from yourself. . A lot perhaps.
With the company of the scorching heat of the summer months daylight savings time lurked right behind it—providing the longevity of the sun, as the Earth seems to lean a bit closer to the star and decrease its speed in rotation.
And here you were melting away by the very sun. Unbeknownst to the so-called wonders of the summertime. Barred from any of the memories everyone seemed to be defined by: the best months of the year, the best moments of your life they’d say.
While enthralled in your own thoughts you heard your friend’s voice though it was a bit muffled, still you were able to make out what she said, “Ellie is over there. I’m gonna go say hi. You two talk okay?”
Jungkook chuckled softly. Why would she say that? Ugh, she made it weird. She definitely made it weird.
“Is she always like this?” he asked, leaning a bit closer in your direction and although he still remained in his chair at a considerable distance, you could feel the waves of his body heat crashing against you.
“Always,” there was a hint of nervousness stained on your tongue but you swallowed it down. Or at least tried to, “life’s never boring when she’s around.”
“You guys been friends long?” he asked, gis voice still vibrated in your inner ear, sounding like the beat of drums. It truly did frazzle your nerves.
“Yeah, we’ve been friends for a bit.”
He nodded. Simply soaking in what you’ve said—there was nothing else to say but you urged to hear the strumming of his sweet words just once more.
“What about you,” you clasped your balmy hands on top of the table, “you got any friends around here?”
“Yeah,” Jungkook nodded, “I have a couple. We all live near each other back home too so I’m never allowed a moment of peace.”
“Seems like we’re kind of living under the same pretenses.”
“Seems like it. Maybe, we could escape away together one day.”
Together? Did he just say together? As in the both of you, on the same route. . Intentionally, while in each other’s company?
The silence between the two of you was deafening, you became nearly incompetent; unable to communicate anything corrigible. Your tongue felt heavy in your mouth and your throat became dry. So fucking dry.
“Or-“ he began, seemingly taken back by your lack of verbal communication.
“Yes,” you finally said, “I’d like that very much.”
“You promise?”
“One day.”
The first week of research class was slow. . repetitive and you couldn’t help the way your thoughts wandered off to your conversation with Jungkook the first day of class. How you promised each other one day—Just one day but that was as far as it has gone so far.
Even though, in that moment, you couldn’t feel farther away from him.
You’d barely uttered a word to each other but the patented ‘hello’ and ‘bye’ but that was the extent of it. There had been nothing else. Plus he no longer sat near, he was three tables away with his friend, Namjoon who had switched in on day two of class.
You couldn’t ignore the ping in your heart when you walked in that day and you saw him that far away—You could no longer spark up nuisance conversations, or sneak glances when you pretended to write your notes or have the sweetness of his vanilla scent inundating your nostrils.
It has all gone to shit. With fervent frustration you trotted up the stairs to your dorm on the second floor. Looking forward to laying in the comfort of your bed until you have to physically peel yourself away from your sheets.
The first strike was pitched the moment you pulled out your key card from the back pocket of your jeans and it immediately hit the floor. Conducting a string of breathing exercises to ease your rising vexation you picked up the card once more and took a deep breath before sliding it into the reader. The world was pitted against you that day though, because as soon as you retrieved the card and reached for the knob the electronic lock dinged and flashed its red light.
You tried again and again and again—all your attempts leading to the same result. Until finally your irritation ran rampant through your veins and you continuously banged on your door with your balled fists as if that would have made a difference. There was no one on the other side who could possibly rescue you, your only solution lived in the student center. . Visiting the very booth occupied by a certain boy who lived in your heart and mind.
“Oh c’mon, not today,” you mumbled leaning against the cold wooden door, “fucking Monday’s are always shit.”
The way to the student center was not long at all but your calves were torched with the amount of walking you’d already done for the day. Luckily, as you pulled the door open the hallways were vacant which meant there were no lines and most importantly no waiting.
“Finally, this damned day might just be turning around,” you mumbled to yourself.
You walked down the corridor, entered the second to last room and there he was sitting behind the rectangle frame carved into the wall. Jungkook’s chin rested on his palm. His long strands were left in a disarray but it made it work. He truly did. The rest of his body was hidden behind the tall desk but even from your position near the door you could see the collar of his black t-shirt. Even as the bell on top of the door chimed his attention was consumed by the brightly lit screen laid out in front of him.
“Hi,” he greeted, not looking up in the direction of the door once, “welcome to card and ID services. How may I help you?”
“Is this how you greet all the students who pop in here?” you teased with what you recalled to be your most idiotic smile plastered on your face.
He chortled finally realizing who it was, “if I would’ve known it was you I would have given you my undivided attention from the moment you walked in.”
Realizing you stood without your friend as a shield for conversations, you swallowed your nervousness. “You say a lot but I bet you don’t mean half of what comes out of your mouth.”
“I live by codes of honesty, doll.”
There was a stumble in your step as soon as you heard the pet name he uttered through your laptop screen all those nights ago. The same one that had you lured under his spell, in a disarray of emotions, whimpering babbles of nothing at all and everything all at once.
“Whatever you say, Jungkook,” you rolled your eyes. “I’m actually here for a reason, not just for your charms and to see a pretty face.”
“Charms and a pretty face huh?” he smirked.
“Anyway,” you diverted the conversation away from your inane choice of words, “I’m actually here because I can’t open my dorm door with this thing anymore.”
“Is it working though?”
“No,” you slid the card over to him on the surface of the desk. You were hoping to get a peak of his tattoos as he reached out for it but he wore a hoodie. “it isn’t working like. . at all.”
“Actually, I was talking about my charismatic personality and dashing good looks.” His annoying and compelling magnetism had you in conflict between wanting to smack him upside the head or suck his dick behind the counter. “According to you of course.”
“Let’s table the cockiness for now and focus on the actual problem taking root,” you tapped your fingers in the plastic rectangular key.
Jungkook smiled and took the plastic key before sitting back on his office chair and typing away purposely into his keyboard. Even under the shitty lighting of this holed up office space his attractiveness was evident.
“How did you even manage to fuck up your card this bad?” he asked, not really demanding an answer but you shrugged anyway, “the computer won’t even read it.”
“I really have no idea.”
“This is gonna cost you, you know” his eyes still remained on the screen.
“I thought this shit was free?” you argued, “don’t we pay enough tuition to cover a little damaged keycard. I should’ve just broken my way in.”
Jungkook simply shook his head whilst dragging his chair back towards the printer to fetch your card.
“Consider that we’re very well acquainted classmates. Can you please deduct fifty-percent from what you were going to charge?”
“Well acquainted classmates?” His expression was hard to read but if you had to guess he seemed a bit hurt. . perhaps offended. But you could also just be misreading the situation. “And here I thought we were really good friends.”
“Aren’t they synonymous?”
“Not to me,” he held the new card towards you only to pull it back when you reached for it.
“Fine,” you rolled your eyes at him. “We’re friends. Great friend actually.”
“Hm, I don’t know. Sounds a bit disingenuous,” he sat back on his chair still holding your key hostage.
You scoffed. “And how would you possibly know that?”
“I can read people.”
“I don’t believe that for a second.”
He smirked, “I can always just show you how well I can read people.”
The intent behind his words was blurred behind thick lines and while you genuinely thought he wanted to plead his case, you couldn’t help but feel like there were hints of temptation behind his promise.
It actually took you a bit off guard—though, not really. Jungkook, like JK, (his alter ego?) was a concoction of sensuality and comfort. He is the personification of sweetness and while that was a fact he also had a player persona and he was driven by flirtatious mannerism.
The perfect combination of two.
“Is this how you spend most of your day? Harassing all of the girls who come by to get their keycards fixed.”
“Harrasing is such an ugly word,” he smiled. That stupid that was so compelling it actually drew you closer and closer to him. “Besides you’re the only one I like to fuck around with.”
“Lucky me.”
“Lucky you,” he repeated in a hushed tone, placing your card on the wooden surface while his hand remained on top of it, swallowing it whole under his palm. “If you really wanna test your luck I want to offer a proposition.”
“What would that proposal entail?” You removed his palm and finally grabbed the card, shoving it in your back pocket. You tried to hide it but the feeling of your fingers meeting his ignited sparks to crackle in the pit of your stomach and instantly you were blinded by bright lights, perhaps fireworks.
“One day, remember?” Jungkook’s eyes are mesmeric, stroked with intricate detail, dabbed with a tone of cafè noir, glossed over as a final coat offering a shiny layer.
“One day, yes,” you confirmed taking yourself back to your conversation on day one, “you offered to take me around and show the beauty of summer. Everything I’ve been missing apparently.”
Jungkook shook his head light-heartedly. “Right. I was just wondering if we could upgrade the singular term to plural.”
“What do you mean?”
“One day,” he repeated. “Can we change that to a couple of days instead?”
Days. . This implies that you’ll be spending days with Jungkook? This felt like a cultivation of your own personal heaven. Initially, when he proposed the idea to you back in class a seed had been planted in your head, slowly blooming a flower which swayed briskly the more you thought about Jungkook and being able to ever spend time alone with him.
“You know I didn’t actually think you meant any of it,” you lied, you believed him or at least you wanted to.
“Did I not just say I’m a man of honesty?”
“Apparently that’s your morale code, right?” you raised your eyebrow at his claims of integrity.
“Of course, it is.” He confirmed, “don’t sound so surprised please.”
“Not surprised. Just absorbing all of this newfound information.”
“Absorbing sounds a lot like mocking.”
“Mocking is such an ugly word,” you teased.
“Ha—ha, very funny,” he uttered jokingly accompanied by a rumbling fake laugh, “you know what’s not funny?”
“What?” you tilted your head slightly with a smug smile painted on your lips.
“You know exactly what I’m talking about.”
“I do?” you hummed.
“You really strive to puncture my ego don’t you?” his gaze was set on you intently, his dark orbs read you slowly from head to toe. It made your palms balmy and you could feel a tremble taking route at your lower extremities.
Walking towards the door your shaky hand reached for the handle and opening it before turning back one last time. “The answer is yes.” You walked out although you heard a string of questions following right behind you, all of them left unanswered.
Yesterday was Friday, which meant today was Saturday. You knew that. You were competent enough to map out the days of the week accordingly. . Still, you weren’t quite sure why you heard an alarm blare through the walls of your dorm at six in the morning, startling you right out of the comfort of your slumber. Now, just thirty minutes past seven after rushing your morning routine thinking you’d ‘late for class’ you sat in bed showered with no real plans for the day ahead.
Your bowl of instant oatmeal was now empty and sitting on the nightstand beside your bed.
Navigating through the multitude of apps on your laptop was not as entertaining as you once perceived and although it did ease your boredom for a bit. Now you sat with the base panel sticking to your thighs staring at the home screen with nothing else to probe into.
“Come on,” Jungkook’s voice was barely above a whisper, once again he seems to have invaded your thoughts, “I know you wanna visit me.”
“I’m not sure what you mean. I don’t need to visit the student center today.”
“You know what I’m talking about, doll,” the words bounced in your head, “I know you remember.”
You squeezed your eyes shut, your attempt at trying to vanish him from your mind entirely. But even if you hated to admit it you couldn’t help but crave that feeling of him being here even if it was through the building blocks of your own imagination—It just felt so real. The heat of his presence felt so real and truly you just wanted to be consumed by it.
“Last time, I visited you. . You were a little busy.”
“That was last time,” he laid back sinking into the softness of your mattress and pillows, “I promise I’m all yours today.”
His commands were like the songs of sirens inching you closer to the very spot where he wanted you to be. Very easily you typed in the name of the website you’d grown very familiar with on the browser and quickly clicked on the last messages between the two of you — he was online and without indication of being in another session. That’s a good sign.
Yeah.
You can call.
Your fingers hovered over the keyboard without indication on how to approach a conversation because for one you wanted to speak to him but it was also eight in the morning and Eargasm was a simple gateway to an orgasm. Not to mention, you’d be talking to JK not Jungkook and while the two were the same person they were also different.
BunnyBoy98 is typing…
Fancy seeing you
back here ;)
You quite literally could not move.
Have you missed
me?
Please. Don’t flatter
yourself.
It’s not flattery.
Last I recall, I
did make you cum.
My fingers did that.
Not you.
Who was the guiding
voice though?
Right.
Right.
Don’t you ever
forget it, doll.
Is there a reason
you messaged me?
I like that about
you, you know.
What?
Your bluntness.
It reminds me of
someone I know.
It’s hot.
There’s someone else? Someone who occupies his thoughts regularly it seems. Your heart felt heavier as the sharp blade pierced right through it leaving behind a vast hole and an incurable wound. You weren’t really sure why but it hurt so bad.
But you knew it should not. His job required sparking up conversations with dozens of girls on a daily basis and helping at least a dozen more find their culmination.
You cannot feel anything.
Thinking of other girls
in my presence? Shame
on you BunnyBoy.
Sorry, doll.
I promise right
now is all about you.
But we seem to have
started on the wrong
foot. How can we fix
that, BunnyBoy?
Use me as you
please.
As you read his request there was a shift in the atmosphere. Sort of like what you felt back in back that first day, where you were briefly dreaming inside of a dream or like what you imagined it would feel like if the Earth ever slammed down on its brakes coming to an abrupt halt. Actually, you were sitting in a massive slingshot just waiting to be catapulted into space — it was all too grand to minimize into coherent thoughts, too great to be reality.
But it was and you were pulled right out of your own illusion when the phone call icon began vibrating repeatedly signaling there was an incoming call.
While your head was still swimming among the cottony clouds your fingers somehow managed to hit the green button on the call from JK popping up on your screen.
“I was beginning to become hopeless,” his voice was so distinctive the minute he began talking your skin became covered in goosebumps.
“Why were you becoming hopeless?” To this day, you wondered how you were able to point him out even in a crowd just by his voice and he’s yet to identify yours. Perhaps, that is exactly the reason why you were so comfortable speaking to him here — and adopting the confident persona you lack in real life.
“When I call there’s usually an answer just by the first ring.”
“Things are different today, BunnyBoy,” you laid down and placed the laptop on the pillow right beside your head. “I make the requests today, remember?”
You were nervous and you weren’t quite sure just how much of this you could actually pull off but you were willing to try just to show him a good time.
“It’s your turn to tell me what you desire most,” you tried to maintain a whisper to your tone. Not only was that your go-to interpretation of seductiveness but it was also really fucking early in the morning and the last thing you needed was to be the dirty talk alarm for your dorm neighbors.
“I like to be the gateway to heaven.”
“Elaborate.”
“You know exactly what I mean,” he snickered. Of course, he was referring to the art of making someone orgasm and he was right you were all too familiar with it. . Especially coming from him.
“What is it that you like so much about it?”
“It’s just an addicting feeling. I don’t really know how to put it into words,” you could tell he was talking through a wide grin, “it’s such a vulnerable moment for most people but I can’t help but drink the other person in entirely until I’m drunk off the antics and mannerism of their orgasm.”
“You get off by getting other people off?”
“I guess that’s an easier way to explain it.”
“So do I need to get off to help you get off right now?”
He huffed out a small breath, “Is that what you want, doll. To help me?”
You hummed, crumbling and failing to come up with any words at the mention of the nickname he’d attached to you.
“I can dig into my memories, you know. There’s so much about you I remember,” Again, you couldn’t see him but you could sense the smirk right through the microphone, “I know you kept your screen off but the sounds you made were enough to have me touching myself every second of everyday for days on end.”
The sensation of your walls clenching around nothing was taunting and the stream flowing right through the fabric of your panties just piled up on the mountain of frustration. You were miles away from the peak as you trotted up slowly but your thoughts remained on him.
“It’s like an audio file on loop. Your whimpers, and moans and the soft utters of my name. Fuck. The mixture became an ideal composition to the perfect ballad,” he confessed through a string of soft pants, “and then the way you pushed your fingers past your lips just to savor the taste of yourself. You really drove me to insanity.”
Your body felt as light as a feather and you could’ve sworn you were levitating right above your mattress you just couldn’t open your eyes to prove it. Instead, your tanktop was pushed below your breasts and your finger began its trail on your clit rubbing slow circles.
“JK, ima need you to shut the fuck up right now,” you were breathless with a hint of desperation. Ready to lose yourself in his voice, but you couldn’t, “shut up—“ you repeated, “this is not how it’s supposed to go today.”
“You say that,” he cooed, “but how come I can tell you’ve already begun to touch yourself?”
You pulled your hand from yourself, repelling away from the gravitational pull forcing you to reach back down between the warmth of your thighs. “You don’t know that and I was not touching myself.”
“You were and I’m 100-percent sure of it.”
“You’re so annoying.”
“Don’t worry, doll. You’ve done more than enough to get me where I need to be,” he hissed.
Realistically speaking this was the goal—Your goal for the day. But the reality of Jungkook’s whine sounding near the shell of your ear made you imagine things that weren’t even there for the third time in the past few weeks.
And there he was, beside you once again, with his cock springing out from above the hem of his shorts. It was longer; bigger than you’d imagined but he made use of his veiny hands moving up and down his length with a hastened pace. Quickly working his way right into an orgasm.
“Tell me how it feels, JK,” you rubbed your legs together in search of some ease — perhaps to ignore the pain or the desirous sting threading dangerously near to overwhelmingness but it wasn’t helping. You reach out for one of the decorative cushions sitting on your bed and quickly rid yourself of your panties hiking your skirt up past your belly button. You weren’t quite sure what came over you but looking over at ‘JK’ laying beside you began swaying your hips against the cotton cushion to match his exact pace.
“Fuck—“ you squealed.
“Oh, doll,” he let out a rasp groan, “t-that’s exactly what I needed. Keep going please. I’m so close.”
Minutes went by since the two of you began exchanging the alluring songs escaping each of your lips. It was an orchestra of pleasure and you kept at it until your whines combined with his grunts signaled the peak of your actions.
“Oh fuck,” he breathed out, “I’ve never done that before.”
“What?”
“This has never happened during one of my sessions.”
You smiled, “I’m glad I could be of assistance.”
“Visit me more often,” he said, “I mean it. Don’t wait another two weeks.”
“I’ll be back. Don’t worry Jung—JK,” you cleared your throat as an attempt to mask your almost massive fuck up. Hopefully he didn’t hear.
“I’ll be here.”
“Bye.”
The call was disconnected. Fuck, fuck, fuck!
Not again.
Hours passed since your very interesting morning with Jungkook or should you say JK. It was closer to late night and you sat on a bench just outside the library with the luminous ray of the moon singling you out like a spotlight. You were tired and just like the moon sat without any stars surrounding it to keep it company you chose to be here, alone; secluded just for a little while. You needed it.
The night hadn’t begun this way. Not at all.
Your friend had texted you hours prior letting you know that a couple of people from research class had noticed a mini research project due for that Monday. And like any other group of panicked college students you all grabbed your shit and ran to the library to get the work done. Back then, you didn’t know that by ‘a few people from research class’ she also meant Jungkook.
While you could feel a kaleidoscope of butterflies flapping their wings against the lining of your stomach, there were also those pressing nerves. You know, the ones that make your hands tremble, your tongue feel heavy inside of your mouth and your palms balmy all together.
It was a variation of your own personal heaven and hell.
“May I know why you’re out here sitting all by yourself,” there weren’t winds strong enough to make you shiver the way his voice had just now.
Would he recognize your voice from this morning? Maybe he would. You pressed your hands against the wooden bench and took a deep breath.
It’s gonna be okay. You chanted. It’s going to be okay.
“Oh, I’m done with the project and I just needed a bit of fresh air,” you waved your hands around in an attempt to point at the library but you ended up pointing in the opposite direction, “it was just too hot in there.”
“Yeah. .” He slouched down and placed his head on the back rest, “I needed out too.”
“Did you get to finish?”
“I did,” he laughed, “I chose the effects of tattoos in the workplace.”
“Ha—“ you guffawed, shaking your head, “I’m sure you meant to make a statement.”
“Of course, doll.” There it was again. The effects it had on you were so grand meanwhile he just brushed right past it like absolutely nothing.
“How many tattoos do you have anyway?”
He rolled his sleeve up revealing his arm all the way up to his bicep, “I lost count after filing in the gaps for my sleeve but I’ll confidently say I’m well over thirty.”
“You must have all of the secrets to pain tolerance,” you stared at the art pieces adoring his honey skin.
“I would say I have it more under control now than I ever did before,” his head turned towards you and his dark eyes pierced your soul, “I almost cried during my first one though. Hurt so fucking bad I had to keep taking breaks.”
“Which one was it?”
He brought his arm up and showed you the flower sitting right on his right elbow.
“Can I?” That was your way of asking if it was okay for you to touch it without having to actually say it.
“Yeah.”
Your fingertips traced the small orange flower along with its surroundings which sprawled out into a larger floral design. Sparks of electric currents traveled from your fingers as they remained in contact with his skin. You couldn’t help but wonder if he felt it too but you were too afraid to ask.
“Did you get it shaded and colored in one go?”
“I couldn’t,” he shuddered, likely remembering that very day at the tattoo shop, “hurts just thinking about it.”
“But then you went and got a whole sleeve?”
“I guess I’m still fond of a bit of pain.”
“That’s psychotic.”
“Maybe,” he closed his eyes lightly, as a cheeky wide-toothed grin formed on his lips. That was the last of your interaction for a bit, the two of you just sat back in silence enjoying the serenity of the night. But of course, silence seemed to be a burden on Jungkook’s behalf because it didn’t really last too long. “Hey, you wanna go get ice cream? I hear the shop just off campus is open late.”
“Is this the kick start to your summer itinerary for me?”
“Could be. . if you want it to.”
“Sure. Let’s go.”
With a stunned expression your friend watched as Jungkook followed behind you, into the library to collect your belongings only to see you exit with him once more. Even though the windows you saw as her mouth remained agape as you disappeared into the night with the man that occupied so much of your heart and mind.
Seconds after you felt your phone vibrate continuously in your back pocket. Knowing it was probably just her with an abundance of prying questions you ignored it for now instead choosing to focus on the paved road ahead you. There are so many beautiful things to admire at this time of night — the way the bright green leaves sway with the cool breeze on the branches they’d call home for the duration of the summer, there was also the way the brightness of the street light illuminated the way to your destination. There were no lone frigid gusts whispering their way through the city, instead there was the buzzing chatter of on-goers bringing the streets back to life.
Jungkook and you occupied the sidewalk taking in every scene, every conversation, every person, every detail in your way and just as you neared the little ice cream shop you saw the way his doe eyes lit up at the vibrant shade of pink on the concrete walls.
“What should I get you?” You sat on one of the small tables lined up on the sidewalks just a few feet away from the shop.
“Chocolate please,” you pulled out your wallet just as he placed his hand on top of yours and shook his head.
“I invited you, didn't I?”
“Are you sure?”
“Of course.”
Across from you at another small table you spotted a couple seemingly on their first day. You could tell because the girl as beautiful as she was, she wore the same gitters you did. The way her fingers trembled whenever the boy across from her inched his hand closer to hers.
She wore the exact same gitters you did but you were not here on a date. You were merely an acquaintance. Someone Jungkook knew in passing — likely to become someone he once knew once this charade of wanting to show you around for the summer was over.
“Are you always this deep in your own thoughts?” Jungkook sat across from you on the table and handed you the wafer cone with two chocolate scoops.
“Not always. .” you took a swift lick of your ice cream, “sometimes is probably a bit more accurate though.”
“May I ask why that is?”
“There are too many things dancing around in my head to figure out the steps to,” you began playing around with the edge of the napkins laid out on the table.
“Do any of those pressing thoughts have to do with your shit taste in ice cream flavors?” The dimples on his rosey cheeks were scaled to your meter of comfort and you couldn’t help but reciprocate his cheerful manner.
“Shit?” you sneered, “if we’re talking shit, strawberry is definitely first on the list.”
“Strawberry ice cream tastes like actual strawberries. Now please tell me what chocolate ice cream tastes ‘cause it is certainly not chocolate.”
“Bullshit. It does taste like chocolate.”
“Now, that's bullshit,” he continued, savoring his frozen dessert. “Will you ever tell me why you despise the summertime so much?”
“I do not despise it. I just—“ you sighed, “there are just experiences that simply do not wash away with the currents of the beach waves.”
“That’s awfully poetic.”
“I like to dramatize my life experiences.”
“I won’t make you elaborate. I will, however, smother you with my favorite activities until you have no choice but to fall in love with the season,” he strapped his backpack on and called over to you, “you ready?”
Whoever said spinning around on the roundabout after devouring an entire cone of ice cream was a good idea — was wrong. Of course, Jungkook’s ideas of the perfect summer night were made up of late night escapees, sweets and indigestion.
Jungkook, the culprit in this entire scheme plopped down on the multi-colored metal surface, clearly out of breath after having spun you so fast the heavens were now where the ground once used to be.
“You are the worst,” you laid down on the roundabout, eyes closed, swallowing down the nausea creeping up the back of your throat, “if I puke. . It is entirely on you.”
“Last I recall, you’re the one who wanted to be spun around on this thing.”
“Yes.” You continued taking deep breaths, “keyword spin not attempt to blast me off into the Milky Way.”
“You are such a drama queen.”
“There is nothing dramatic about the way my head is spinning right now,” you felt his shower brush against yours — he was now laying beside you. You opened your eyes slightly, turning your head in his direction, “are there now three of you?”
“Here,” he raised a hand to your face, “how many fingers am I holding up?”
“Two?” you lied. He had all five fingers up.
“I know you see my whole hand is sitting right in front of your face right now,” he rolled his eyes.
“Actually, I don’t. That’s why I said two,” you stuck your tongue out at him before redirecting your attention back to the sky. “Do you think the moon ever gets lonely up there?”
Jungkook followed your line of vision to the sky above where the moon still sat all by itself, “I’ve never actually thought about it but I think everything and everyone can feel lonely once in a while.”
“I think I’m like the moon.”
His voice was soft, “in what way?”
“I guess—“ you battled with all the words crashing against each other in your brain, “in the sense that compared to Earth and most planets, the moon is so small right?”
“Yes.”
“I just feel like that. You know? Like a single grain of sand in a sandbox — feels like I’m an ant in a world of giants.”
“While it is true that the moon is fairly small in comparison to most of the planets in our solar system,” he began. “It is also a beacon of light. Without the moon our nights would be composed of utter darkness, the ocean tides would fall and the course of the life we know would be altered. Without the moon our lives would be shit.”
“Right.”
“Small yet consequential. You get that?”
“I do.”
You told no fib. His words were a warm blanket of solace wrapping itself tightly around your figure — serving as a shield, protecting you from anything that could perforate through your being; your soul.
Your parents had always been the main assailants in the attacks you had experienced throughout your life. After your brother walked away from home they pushed you aside, neglected you and left you to raise yourself. They were never there for birthdays or the holidays or summer vacations or even just regular days. You were a thirteen year old girl alone not being able to decipher why all of their grief from your brother’ abandonment came at the expense of the love they claimed to have had for you.
All your life you tried to work out if you’d done anything wrong but you finally see that it wasn’t you. Their neglect was based on their inability to be parents before anything else.
So yes, you were like the moon. Small yet consequential.
Jungkook’s pinky brushed up against yours slightly as he traced random shapes on your skin; sort of like asking permission before actually holding your hand. You looked at each other and before you knew it he wrapped his hand to yours. The warmth radiating from him was soothing and like nothing you’ve ever felt before. If you were sure of one thing — it’s you never wanted him to let go.
You just wanted to stay there with him in that moment forever.
“Jungkook, you better shake off all that sand out here or you are forbidden from entering my room,” you threatened, which only resulted in a mischievous grin from the man and the sand to go flying in your direction as he purposely tried to get it on you.
“Is that all better?”
You snorted, brushing off any of the remaining sand he did get in you, “you are so mean.”
A week of summer adventures had graced your life for the better — Jungkook had burdened himself with the mission to get you to enjoy the wonders of the scorching summer months and he was succeeding. You have enjoyed all of it thus far. Even having the ocean sand in places where the sun doesn’t shine.
The schedule doesn’t cease and while your platonic relationship with Jungkook blossomed though you couldn’t completely shut out the feelings that sent your heart into a frenzy whenever he was near. You like him so bad, but your friendship with him was like a gem, a rare gem and you wouldn’t trade that for anything on this entire planet.
“You know what’s weird?” Jungkook walked out from the bathroom just as you finished getting dressed. One towel hugged his waist, while the other he used to dry his hair.
“Jungkook?” you yelped, “clothes.”
“Oh, come on, you saw all of this at the beach,” he pointed at his sculpted physique. You did and you were almost sent into cardiac arrest then — what makes him think you’d be any better off within the congested walls of your room. He was feet away near the bathroom door but it felt like he was just beside you.
“Whatever. .” you turned around trying to keep yourself busy with something else, something that did not involve gawking at him. “This wall—“ he noticed you weren’t looking, “this wall right above your bed it looks so fucking familiar.”
“Jungkook, you’ve been in here about a dozen times in the past week,” your body stiffened as you felt a nauseating flutter in your stomach.
“You’re right . .” your back was still turned towards him but you could hear the floorboards creak as he inched closer, “but that right there only confirms it. There’s also your voice, that birthmark sitting right below your bottom lip and not to mention your nail polish you always keep the exact same shade.”
“Jungkook—“
“Not very clever I’d say,” his chin rested on the nook of your neck, “especially we ended on becoming this close.”
You wanted to say something — anything but you couldn’t actually speak.
“After our first time on Eargasm together,” he whispered into your ear, “do you know how much I thought of you? Your voice was the only thing that has played in my head since then. I wanted. . needed to meet you. The girl behind the black screen.”
“How long have you known?”
“Since the day you went to get your card fixed at the student center,” he continued, “your voice is soft, euphonic, harmonious, even when you’re cumming. It’s easy to distinguish.”
You shuddered as a result of his dulcet praise, “I’m so transparent but your tattoos ratted you out especially the snake sitting right below your wrist.”
“Problem is I wasn’t trying to hide, doll.”
“You didn’t care?”
“I didn’t care.”
Turning around the two of you remained face to face examining even the tiniest of details within one another. The pale red tint on the apple of his cheeks matched the tone of his lips almost perfectly.
His lips . . they were so inviting. You were sluggishly levitating towards him before his words slammed at your brakes.
“I think we should get going,” Jungkook said standing by the door holding his keys out to you. Was he kicking you out of your own dorm? “You wanna wait for me in the car? I’ll be right down.”
“Uh—“ you were a bit taken back with disappointment and just a bit of confusion. Was he really oblivious to it? “Yeah, that sounds fine. Don’t be long.”
A million thoughts scrambled your brain on the passenger seat of Jungkook’s car as your eyes drifted off toward the sun disappearing into the horizon. Love was never your forte but if you were sure of one thing it’s that what you felt although unspoken was evident; crystal clear more so. So you replayed what had happened in your room time and time again to decipher when it all had gone to shit. Perhaps, he was in fact still angry about you knowing it was him all along. . But you’d apologized when joined you in the car and he reassured you that it was fine and he wasn’t mad.
Looking back towards the driver seat, Jungkook remained with one hand on the wheel and his eyes glued to the road ahead. Not a word escaped his lips. Why is it so difficult to figure out what men are thinking?
Once you arrived at the drive-in movie theater, Jungkook parked and quickly dismissed himself to buy snacks while you tried to find the station provided to be able to hear the movie and finally you did.
“Okay,” Jungkook opened the car door, taking his previous seat back on the driver’s side, “I got popcorn, cherry slushies and a bunch of gummies. I just guessed on everything hoping it wasn’t a complete miss.”
“Of course I like these. Thank you, Jungkook.” You’d like anything he brought back for you simply because it came from him, “You know, I thought this style of movie watching ceased to exist after the 90s.”
“Yeah, I guess there was a decline in popularity after the 90s. Now, in some places it is once again sought out as a popular summer activity.”
��That is evident,” you looked around at the packed lot out in front of you. You guys scored the very last spot in the very last row, “Do you come here often?” Only you knew the real undertones of that question. ‘Do you bring other girls here often?’ This is what you actually meant.
“Not often,” he took a sip of his slushie
“Not often,” you repeated under your breath with a residue of bitterness left in your tastebuds. You weren’t sure if your drinking had grown pungent or if his words simply landed a punch in your gut triggering your acid reflux.
Patience, patience and endurance. You’d neared your limit for both while your heart continued its call for Jungkook but he simply could not hear. Was he really oblivious to it? You wondered once again. Was the wailing just white noise to him . . Non-existent? Could he not hear it as loudly as you could? Because to you it was all you could hear, the only thing you could pay mind to. To you the movie was long gone and all you wanted was for him to notice you. Not simply as friends, but to embrace what you knew he briefly felt for you back at the dorm. To actually see you.
“Are you okay?” his hand slowly moved to shove some more popcorn into his mouth. His words were slack, almost as if he’d been put to function in slow motion, “do you not like the movie?”
You couldn’t care less about the fucking movie. “The movie is fine.”
“Are you sure?” Was that concern in his voice? “I can get you something else from the snack bar,“ he reached for the handle, “let ne get you a water.“
“No,“ you held his wrist, “just stay please.”
“The snack bar is less than ten steps away. Are you sure you don’t want it?”
“I don’t want you to go.” You weren’t sure you were being clear so you tried your best to elaborate, “I know technically left my own room earlier but I didn’t want to and now I do not want you to go.”
You heaved feeling the pace of your quickening heart beating your chest. Then mumbled, “I left only because you asked me to but I wanted to stay with you.”
His eyebrows were furrowed as he tried to unscramble your inept confession. Soon his chocolate eyes dilated realizing the weight of your words.
“Like?” He asked, allowing his silence to fill in the gaps.
“Yes,” you confessed. “I wanted to stay in my room with you and spend the night together.”
“I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry. Truthfully, I wanted you to stay but I didn’t want to overstep after we talked about the Eargasm thing,” He turned his head away from his hands gripping the steering wheel towards you in the passenger seat.
“I like you. I’ve liked you before Eargasm Jungkook,” you could’ve sworn the sky began plummeting down on you while you just sat amongst the deafening silence, with your heart poured out before you — and still Jungkook said nothing, “Uh, you know what forget I ever. .” you paused taking another look in his direction but Jungkook simply hid behind wide eyes, “actually, no. Scratch that. I like you but I’ll be okay.”
“You are much braver than me, you know,” he spoke quietly, “a lot of my life I’ve lived hidden behind JK and though he is my other half he is not truly who I am. He is much more courageous than I’ll ever be but you were brave so I know I owe you a reciprocation of the same transparency. I’ve liked you from the moment I walked into class that very first day and I’ve only fallen for you harder with each passing day.”
“Jungkook.”
He hummed.
“Kiss me.”
In the matter of seconds the two of you climbed over to the back seat — the clashing of your body heat drew sweat beads to cascade down your temples. Your attention was far off that though, instead you were lulled by the softness of his silken lips pressed against yours. You could feel the thud of your combined heartbeat in the way your bodies were pressed so tightly against each other. His palm resided by your waist as he continued tugging at your top.
He pulled away, keeping his forehead pressed against yours, “are you sure you want to do this here?”
You looked around feeling locked in by the tint of Jungkook’s car windows, “I’m sure.”
Before your back could meet his leather seat, Jungkook began pulling your panties down and pushing your denim skirt up past your belly button. Jungkook was always gentle whether it was with his words or his touch, that was the truth, and today was no different.
“God, you’re so beautiful,” Jungkook’s usual dove eyes were now burning with hunger — desire. His hands rested on your knees and he began spreading your legs farther and farther away from each other causing your underwear to become soaked. You hadn’t really noticed how spacious the back of his car was until now, until he kneeled in front of you. His fingers traced the outline of your thighs as he reached under your skirt quickly pulling your panties down to your ankles.
You closed your eyes, melting back into the seat. The feeling came in waves you quickly realized. First, there was the anticipation as your body urged him to touch your body but he only allowed his digits to cloud over your cunt. Then, there was the taunting of his teasing touch where he would drag the pads of his fingers along your folds — a touch so agonizing you found yourself driving your hips against him for some relief.
“Come on, doll,” Jungkook cooed as two of his fingers sat at your entrance with no intention of moving, “I thought you were more patient than this.”
“I’ll be good,” you heaved, “I promise.”
“Promise?” He pushed past the muscle of your entrance quickly invading your insides and in that moment you could’ve sworn you were no longer in his car — instead you lived amongst the celestial body of lumineers lighting the night sky. Words poured out of you in the form of profanities featured by the moans you couldn’t seem to suppress the quicker he pumped in and out of you.
That was it. That feeling. You held on as if your life depended on it. There was nothing, nothing else that could claim your attention the way Jungkook was at that very moment.
“Oh, right there,” your nails dug into his shoulder blades as he reached the very spot in your insides which blurred your vision and caused your legs to shake just a bit, “j-just keep going right there.”
His lips quickly landed on yours for a kiss so torrid you could taste the remnants of his cherry chapstick on your tongue. Enveloped by the overstimulation of the kiss and his fingers inside of you, the remaining piece of string which held you together snapped and behind your eyelids all you saw were spots of flashing white lights.
“Jungkook. .” You waited just a moment to catch your breath before patting the seat right beside you, “come sit with me. Unwind.”
“It’s hard to think of anything else when you’re sitting right beside me looking like that,” he hummed, “ all fucked out when I’ve only fingered you.”
“Just. . trust me,” As soon as he sat you placed your hand on his chest climbing onto his lap placing your legs on either side of his, “will you do that?”
“I trust you.”
Even the mess Jungkook had already created in between your thighs you felt that concupiscent armor burning deep inside of you — it was like a wildfire you couldn’t extinguish. Jungkook’s hands landed on your waist, his grip was sweaty against your skin, he began you forward and backward on his lap. And you began reciprocating that movement at a rhythm equivalent to his.
The temperature continued to rise within the enclosure of his car and a mixture of his rough grunts and your pleased hums began to fill the space. His clothed cock and your bare clit continued to meet in the filthiest of ways yet you couldn't resist but cry out for more. You craved more.
“I-I need you, Jungkook,” you whimpered.
If you thought you’d known pleasure before there was nothing compared to the way Jungkook’s massive cock felt inside your walls. It’s as if his dick was personally crafted to slip into you. God, he wasn’t moving a single muscle — you weren’t either and still you couldn’t help the countless moans dripping right off your lips.
“Are you okay?” he asked, “can I move?”
“Please,” you cried out.
In being the embodiment of sin, Jungkook embraced his mercilessness as a result of your yelp when his cock rammed into you with a drawn out yet deep thrust. As he slipped in and out if you saw the way he almost pulled out entirely only to guide you back down harshly on his length. Over and over and over. Your head lulled back and you were sure your rolled eyes could recite the contents of the inside of your skull.
“D-don’t stop,” you choked out, placing a hand on the hood for support as Jungkook continued to have you at his mercy, “I’m so close.”
You couldn’t really see in the midst of the pleasure coursing through you but you could feel the way his warm lips landed kisses around your breasts while his hands caressed your sides.
“P-please don’t stop,” the car began moving along with his pace and you were sure the others around you were now aware of the events unfolding right beside them. But you didn’t fucking care. Jungkook’s hand reached down in between your thighs near the exact point where his length disappeared inside of you, and he began stimulating your clit — drawing out small circles. You were shaking with pleasure spilling a string of curses. This continued until you finally reached your peak through screams of his name and your juices coating his cock while he poured into you.
“Fuck,” you cried out sweetly as he pulled out, “that was amazing.”
“It was better than amazing.”
You laid your back against him as he wrapped you up in his warm embrace. The two of you were warm and sweaty, “so what’s on the itinerary for tomorrow?” You asked.
“We’ll go anywhere you wanna go. Together.”
“Together,” you smiled.
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a/n: this is mildly edited sooo . . . thread lightly for any mistakes lol. Also, the smut is pretty average but my brain wasn’t working so sorry about that in advance <3
🔖: @shaybtsfoever @bjoriis @sharkipoonis @hoseokteardrop @ravensidea @skzthinker @cherryluvhobi
reblogs, likes, comments, replies are always appreciated.
#bts#bts smut#bts reactions#bts imagines#jungkook smut#jeon jungkook#jungkook x reader#jungkook x you#jungkook x y/n#jungkook imagine#jungkook drabble#brief mention of tae namjoon and mr. kim aka kim seokjin#bts jungkook smut
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20:41 ♡ mingyu
fluff, idol!au, established relationship
I absolutely LOVE mingyu’s fangs. they’re so perfect oh my gosh.
it’s been a week since you saw your boyfriend face to face. he’s been practising diligently with his group mates for the upcoming comeback, while you were stuck in your studio producing songs for a number of artists.
considering the amount of songs you had to create a baseline for, you haven’t had the time to even think about what mingyu was up to. much less miss his comforting presence and clinginess. but it was not the same for him.
mingyu, despite being entirely focused on improving his dance moves, managed to slip you into the depths of his mind every once in a while. no one has yet to call him out for constantly checking his phone in case you ever texted or called him.
he contemplated surprising you at your apartment but decided against it, since he wasn’t too sure that you were home.
he was fortunate that he didn’t, because you haven’t left your studio since you entered it a week ago. you took two-hour long naps whenever you couldn’t think up anything for the songs and ordered take-out every time you were hungry. basically, no one except for the delivery men have seen you in this past week.
alas completing half of the work you were given, you decided to take a little break and play around with your instruments. but bumzu had noticed that the door to your studio had been closed a little too long and knocked on it before entering. the two of you got into a little argument about your work and personal life and you ended up going home because he threatened to confiscate the keys to your studio for an entire month.
you’re home now. you have just kicked off your shoes and placed them neatly into the cabinet near the entrance. you don’t fail to notice the extra pair that you certainly don’t own. smiling to yourself, you throw your bag on the couch and head into the kitchen.
unsurprisingly, you find mingyu near the stove, undoubtedly cooking up some pasta for the two of you to share.
“gyu,” you exclaim in a soft whisper, happy to see him. “how did you know I was coming home?”
he turns the fire off and pivots on his foot to be met with your body crashing against his. he lets out a laugh, stroking your hair gently.
“I figured you hadn’t left your studio in some time,” he uses a stern tone towards the last few words. you bite back a grin. “I called bumzu hyung to get you out of that suffocating place no matter what.”
“mmh,” you hum, cheek pressed against his chest. “he threatened to confiscate my studio keys. it’s not like he doesn’t lock himself in his own studio sometimes.”
mingyu pushes you away to break the hug as he says, “that’s true.” then, he leads you to the table and sits you down. “I’ll get the food ready. just wait.”
after dinner, you wash up and crash into bed with him. while he snuggles into your side, missing your scent and comforting touch, you continue a book from where you left off a week ago. it really seems like only a day has passed.
it may have been hours or minutes that passed, you don’t know. what you do know, however, is that mingyu is trying his very best not to fall asleep right now. you know what he’s up to and can’t help but feel guilty.
“you can go to sleep, gyu,” you whisper in a sweet tone, marking your book and putting it aside. he hums, but his droopy eyes are still trying to stay open. you chuckle, stroking his hair.
mingyu whines, “I haven’t seen you at all in a week!” he smushes his face into your abdomen as you ruffle his hair as a form of affection. “I miss you.” and he ends with a pout that looks like :c
you want to kiss him right now. smother him in pecks and smooches, but you like this position. it’s comfortable. so you settle with stroking his slightly long hair. “I won’t be going to work tomorrow; bumzu might just lock me out of my studio. I never should have joined universe factory.”
he knows you’re up to something — knows what that something is — and waits in anticipation for you to continue your words. and you know he knows. you try your hardest to hold back a smug grin.
“so that means you’ll get me for a whole day. twenty-four hours seems like a lot, doesn’t it?” you ask mingyu, looking down at him adoringly.
he flashes his famous smile, his fangs (the ones you absolutely fawn over) showing themselves proudly. “I’m gonna sleep now, since I have a whole day to you tomorrow,” he announces cheerfully, hugging you tightly and closing his eyes.
you go back to work the day after tomorrow with mingyu clinging to your side. when bumzu sees you, he smiles and chuckles knowingly.
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mingyu will kiss you if you reblog (.◜◡◝)
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