#this show has gone through so many changes over the years that it's honestly crazy

[bird-likes-to-fandom]

Before I jump into it, I will state that I am not disabled, but I do support the Save Ricky Potts movement and want the bar to be raised and conditions to be improved for ALL disabled actors because jesus christ it's shitty out there. However, this post... I disagree with various bullets in this post. Legoland:

@orangecream and @cam-stopped-eating-candles, in the replies and tags respectively, have said it best. The usage of slurs was typical for the time period, even if it sucks. I'm not saying you have to be happy with them, but those slurs would probably be removed today (as "gypsy" was taken out of Noel's Lament over time) if Legoland was performed. Mind you, the show was written around 2006. That is almost twenty years ago, times and norms have definitely changed.

Also, Penny and Ezra are kids raised by hippies who know literally nothing of the outside world, and considering Ezra is an edgy ten year old in 2006, I would say his language is very realistic for his character. Again, not that that's necessarily a "good" thing or that you have to like it, it is simply true. Have you ever met an edgy child before? They're still like that today.

I do not think the seizure incident speaks volumes on Jacob Richmond as a person. Characters do things all the time that writers do not condone, and Penny apologizes and explains (multiple times iirc) that she knows what they did was wrong. Again, they were both children (13 and 10) who knew nothing about the outside world, and Ezra's a little shit asshole kid. Not to pull "boys will be boys", but it's very in character for both him and the time period. Also, Penny maimed a man. I think there's bigger fish to fry here. Ride the Cyclone: 1. Again, common slur for the time (and also currently). You're allowed to be uncomfortable with it, yada yada yada. But also, it's important to recognize that this specific song is about Ocean's internal war with herself - she uses that language not because it's one she believes is good/would use herself, but as her mother's voice in her head telling her that winning is above all else and that it doesn't matter who or what she uses. This song doesn't reflect Ocean's true personality, let alone Richmond's.

2 and 3: Ocean in the current version of the show is ableist. She is an asshole. She is a bad person. She is meant to be that way. She undermines and infantilizes everything about Ricky, much like she does to Constance, you could argue. Though with Constance, it's more personal. This argument has been brought up countless times. She is a bad person, that is integral to her character, she learns and grows and gets better. Writers can write bad characters and it does not reflect them. Ableism being depicted in media does not make it ableist media.

5. Throughout Legoland and Ride the Cyclone, it states multiple times that the people of Uranium City are assholes. They're incredibly homophobic to Penny, who isn't even gay, and they set her backpack on fire. They're terrible to Constance, even if they're nice to her. Of course they ignore and other Ricky, who they don't care enough to get to know or figure out a way to communicate with. That isn't specific to him. A big part of the show is that nobody really knew any of the kids. 9. You forgot to include the part where he tells her to never call him Lil Sweetie ever again, effectively shutting her down. Again, Ocean is meant to be demeaning. She does not get away with it.

Also, I'm sorry, but the script change argument is just tiring at this point. Yes, it sucks. No, it's not the "official" script - it's an alternate one. The disabled version of Ricky Potts is still very much out there, and I do hope more actually disabled actors get to play him.

more rtc bullshit because i am PISSED

Hey again - im back with more rtc because yannick and i had a (really cathartic) rantfest about the ableism and ive finally decided that its time for me to stop procrastinating and actually make the laundry list of ableist things Jacob Richmond has done in Legoland/Ride the Cyclone that are ableist.

For those who don't know, Legoland is a prequel play to RTC that is about Penny/Jane before the events of RTC.

Hence (TW for several ableist slurs),

Jacob Richmond Has Profited Off Ableism His Entire Career. Here's the Evidence (in somewhat chronological order):

Legoland (i found the pdf in some google drive lol)

Penny and Ezra fake seizures for shits and gigs and its like, supposed to be funny?

They also refer to said seizures as "sp*z attacks" (slur count: 1) -> quote "You see, whenever Ezra had one of his sp*z attacks..." (pg 24)

The use of the r word (slur count: 2) -> quote "All their songs sound like they were written by a r-ed kid on a Tilt-a-Whirl." (pg 39)

Ride The Cyclone (script from Broadway Licensing)

Play to Win (Ocean's OG Song) -> "You wanna kick out the crutches from a cripple... take out a kid in a wheelchair that's the road to perdition" (slur count: 3)

From the 2018 Seattle production -> Ocean, to Ricky when he explains why he should be the one to live, "What have you got? Two, maybe three years?"

What the World Needs -> "How long's he got if we feed him through a tube?", "Diabetes in a cup", and "He'll never learn to read"

Ricky magically being cured upon death - aka a trope disabled people HATE FOR A REASON

The whole of Ricky's plot being that he's only worthy of being heard once he is magically able bodied -> MISCHA: "We listen to you now Space Jesus"

The way that the actor for Ricky stands in that one clip of Waiting For The Drop - absolute mockery of disabled people

From the post-McCarter revision -> "Oh my Ricky! You're not sick! You can talk?"

Again from that revision -> "I could always talk..." (way to further erase his disabilities lol)

From the High School Version (*gags*) -> OCEAN: "Ricky! I love you, Lil' Sweetie" (the infantilisation gets worse, apparently)

The whole Ricky's dad dying and its super traumatic being made into a joke - like becoming disabled after a traumatic event is. not. funny. like at all.

The only part of Ricky's childhood that's focused on is the bit where he is infantilised and othered -> "patronised, pushed around, condescended to in high school..."

Just some things to consider when interacting with ride the cyclone... thats all :)

[hotdaemondtargaryen]

TOM GLYNN-CARNEY INTERVIEWED FOR VESTAL MAGAZINE.

REFLECTING ON YOUR JOURNEY IN THE ACTING INDUSTRY, DO YOU REMEMBER THE MOMENT YOU REALIZED YOU REALIZED YOU WANTED TO PURSUE ACTING?

"The moment I realized I wanted to pursue acting was probably when I was around 12 years old, in high school."

"I was performing in a production of Shakespeare's Macbeth at the Royal Exchange in Manchester."

"I saw older actors and wondered what their "proper" jobs were outside of the theater."

'When I asked one of them, they said': — "No, this is my proper job. This is what I do."

"I didn’t know people could do that."

"From that moment on, I knew that this is what I wanted to do as a career."

YOU'VE DONE MULTIPLE SHOWS AND MOVIES IN THE DRAMATIC GENRE. WOULD YOU EVER BE OPEN TO DOING OTHER GENRES?

"Absolutely, I'd love to explore new genres in the future."

"I'd love to give comedy a go."

"I think that would be a good challenge."

"It’s difficult because timing is crucial delivering a joke at the right time can feel almost mathematical."

"But I think that good comedy actors don't see it that way at all."

"It just comes naturally to them."

"I'd love to give it a shot."

"I'm also interested in doing biopics, bringing real-life stories to life."

"Chet Baker and Gene Kelly, in particular, would be fascinating characters to portray."

"But I'm open to any interesting projects that come my way."

HOW DO YOU CHOOSE THE ROLES YOU TAKE ON? ARE YOU DRAWN TO A PARTICULAR TYPE OF CHARACTER OR STORY?

"Honestly, I'm drawn to anything that makes me feel uncomfortable and pushes me out of my comfort zone."

"I seek out roles where the character feels distant and challenging."

"I like to test myself and see if I can bring such characters to life."

"If a role feels like something I might struggle with, that's exactly what I want to tackle."

"I often joke that these challenging roles might be my downfall someday." [laughs]

CAN YOU SHARE ANY INSIGHTS INTO HOW YOUR CHARACTER, AEGON II TARGARYEN, ENVOLVES IN THE UPCOMING SEASON?

"I found it fascinating to delve deeper into Aegon this season because there's so much more to uncover about him."

"In the first season, we saw quite a two-dimensional view of Aegon—not due to Ty Tennant's portrayal, which I thought was fantastic, bringing a lot of vulnerability and teenage angst to the character."

"When I took over, the time frame was too short to really explore Aegon's complexities."

"This time, I've had an extended period to sit with the character and dig into his deeper layers."

"Playing a character experiencing profound grief is always a challenge."

"I'm lucky enough that I've never gone through anything like that myself, so I had to imagine it as vividly as possible."

"This season, Aegon is shown as more of an empath than a psychopath."

"It becomes clear that he has the capacity to love, feel, and grieve."

"There are so many comparisons between Aegon and Richard II."

"People are saying Aegon is cold, calculated, and evil, and while he's certainly done horrible things—I'm not justifying any of those—it's important to note that, rather than being a straightforward villain, he's a crumbling tragedy."

HOW HAS YOUR APPROACH TO PORTRAYING AEGON II CHANGED FROM THE PREVIOUS SEASON TO THE NEW ONE?

"There’s definitely a continuation of the drama and theatricality from season one."

"It's huge, rousing, and intense."

"I've seen episodes one to four, and they are just unbelievable, especially the battle scenes — you can't get any bigger than that."

"This season, though, there’s also an element of humor."

"At some point, they called Aegon 'the Magnanimous,' and it was important to bring some levity to his character."

"Aegon has just stepped into the role of King and is trying to figure it all out."

"We're at a point where he’s found a spring in his step, enjoying this new responsibility and purpose."

"He’s also got a lot of power now."

"Power can go to people's heads and make them crazy."

"It was nice to explore his boyishness and playfulness, as it gives his character more depth and leaves room for growth."

WHAT WOULD YOU TELL PEOPLE TO GET THEM ON TEAM GREEN?

"I don’t think I need to persuade them—obviously, we’re the best."

"But if you really want to see why, this season is packed with surprises that will make it clear."

SINCE THE SHOW IS BASED ORIGINALLY ON BOOKS, IS THERE A SPECIFIC BOOK YOU'D LIKE TO SEE BROUGHT TO THE SCREEN AND FOR YOU TO BE A PART OF?

"I'd love to see a film adaptation of Douglas Stuart's book Shuggie Bain."

"Another great choice would be The Thousand Autumns of Jacob de Zoet by David Mitchell."

"It’s a collection of beautiful and heart-wrenching short stories, and each one could make a compelling film."

"Looking at my bookshelf now, I see a lot of books on Bob Dylan, David Bowie, and Paul McCartney—mostly singer-songwriters."

"I also have a lot of poetry. I'd love to see a biopic of Patti Smith."

"That would be incredible."

YOUR CAREER HAS TAKEN YOU TO VARIOUS FILMING LOCATIONS AROUND THE WORLD. IS THERE A SPECIFIC LOCATION YOU HAVEN'T BEEN TO YET AND WOULD LOVE TO BE THE BACKDROP FOR A POTENTIAL FUTURE PROYECT?

"Oh, that's a good question."

"I think somewhere that’s a hybrid between beautiful rolling countryside and the coast."

"A place that offers both stunning landscapes and the sea."

"On your days off, you could go for a swim or hike through the mountains."

"I’d love to work in a scenic and peaceful location like that."

SOMETIMES, ACTORS WHO PLAY 'VILLAINS' CAN GET AN ADVERSE REACTION FROM SOME FANS OF A SHOW. WHAT HAVE YOUR INTERACTIONS BEEN LIKE?

"I've been very lucky."

"Many people have approached me with kind words about my portrayal of Aegon."

"It's a challenging task to humanize someone so seemingly poisonous."

"Fortunately, I haven't had negative encounters with fans who can't differentiate between the character and the actor."

"I think we're in a different phase in society now."

"When Jack Gleeson played Joffrey, there was less social media presence, making it harder for audiences to separate the actor from the character."

"Today I think we are a more technologically advanced community, with more behind-the-scenes and a better understanding of the distinction between actor and character."

"I think people have copped on. I hope that's the case, anyway."

YOU'VE COLLABORATED WITH RENOWNED DIRECTORS LIKE CHRISTOPHER NOLAN. WHAT HAVE YOU LEARNED FROM THESE EXPERIENCES?

"Doing Dunkirk was my first significant experience on a film set."

"I really didn't know where to start."

"The canvas was completely blank."

"And it was just such a gift, a pinch me moment that I was able to learn from some of, if not the best filmmaker in the world."

"It was overwhelming."

"And I had to remind myself to be present and soak in everything like a sponge."

"Chris's patience and the support from the rest of the cast were invaluable throughout."

"We were all in it together, especially us young lads who were new to such a big production."

"We learned and grew together during that incredible experience."

IN THE KING, YOU PORTRAYED A HISTORICAL FIGURE. HOW DID YOU APPROACH BRINGING THIS CHARACTER TO LIFE?

"When portraying a fictional character, there's often more freedom because there's no definitive blueprint to follow—even if they're written in a book, they're still fictional."

"You can infuse your own understanding and personality into the role."

"However, there’s added pressure when it comes to a historical figure because you're portraying someone real."

"I never let that pressure overwhelm or hinder the process."

"Instead, I took the character as presented and focused on doing my best with the role."

A NEW HUNGER GAMES MOVIE WAS JUST ANNOUNCED, SPECIFICALLY A PREQUEL FOCUSING ON HAYMITCH'S STORY, AND MANY FANS ARE EAGER TO SEE YOU IN THAT ROLE. WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON THAT?

"No way, that’s the first I’ve heard of it! But I'm incredibly flattered that people would like to see me on screen again."

"If all goes well, I'll fight for my life in the Hunger Games!" [laugh]

WHAT ARE SOME OF YOUR FAVORITE SHOWS DURING YOUR DOWNTIME?

"One show I watch repeatedly, and it never gets old for me, is the UK version of The Office."

"The humor is very relatable and comforting to me."

"I even laugh just thinking about it. It's one of those TV shows when it finishes, you're like: — “Oh no! What do I do with my life? I miss the characters already.” [laugh]

"I also enjoy the US version of The Office."

"Besides that, I'm fascinated by farming documentaries."

"Shows like This Farming Life on BBC are incredibly calming for me."

"And I have to mention The Great Pottery Throwdown — I'm a bit of a pottery nerd, and that show is brilliant!

WHO ARE SOME CREATIVES YOU WOULD LOVE TO WORK WITH IN THE FUTURE?

"The list is long."

"Firstly, there are directors I'd love to collaborate with again, like Chris Nolan and Sam Mendes, with whom I've had some of my best experiences and whom I consider friends."

"I'm eager to work with them again."

"Then there are filmmakers like Andrea Arnold, Yorgos Lanthimos, Greta Gerwig, Paul Thomas Anderson, and Ruben Ostlund, all of whom I admire and would love to collaborate with."

"When it comes to actors, there are many I admire as well."

"I plan to work with individuals who challenge me, from whom I can learn, and who are dedicated to their craft."

"I appreciate those who find joy and humor in their work because life is short, and it’s important to enjoy what you do."

LASTLY, WHERE DO YOU HOPE YOUR CAREER WILL HEAD INTO THE FUTURE?

"It’s more of a feeling than a checklist of achievements that I aim for."

"I understand that feeling because I can almost sense it in advance."

"It’s difficult to articulate—it’s a mix of happiness, creative fulfillment, diversity in roles, consistent challenge, and pushing boundaries."

"I aspire to transform and lose myself in characters."

"Equally important to me is collaborating with inspiring individuals whom I can learn from and grow with."

"I also value the freedom to select projects that resonate with me personally."

[bluedeedeedoop]

My Thoughts on Tales of the Empire; mostly Barriss (spoilers ahead!)

Ah hello all, i have had some days or so to think since watching the show and to say it has completely wiped me of my life force would be... pretty accurate tbh. BUT I HAVE FINALLY DECIDED TO POST MY THOUGHTS. will this cover my entire though process that im sTill working through? PROBABLY NOT! my thoughts are very unorganized and very unstable! ANYWAAAAYS.

Now I just gotta say overall, the show itself definitely passed the test. To be completely honest, i wasn't really paying attention to the Morgan parts as i was the Barriss parts, since it was literally what I was looking forward to this entire time.

Though I will say that the first Morgan episode was pretty neat! it was crazy seeing that perspective of the Nightsisters again and god did they make Grievous fucking terrifying. Honestly, bravo to them, it was amazing. I diiiiid end up just.. kinda spacing out the rest of it tho unfortunately cuz i just wanted to see barriss..

Visuals 10000/10. stunning, amazing, phenomenal, gahdamn. the animation was so smooth and fluid and uGHH it was amazing throughout the entire show. Acting amazing as always. BUT GOD I CANT GET OVER HOW AMAZING THE ANIMATION WAS.

NOW.

In my opinion, they got her character pretty on the dot. I am SO glad they did. I was rlly rlly worried they were totally butcher her character and make her unrecognizable to all of us but oml they didn't completely disappoint us, she has her morals, SHES STILL A HEALER! Im so happy from that.

Now although i did enjoy it, i do have my own little complaints.

Now okay one i noticed since the trailer and has REALLY been bugging me; where are her hand tattoos??? idk i guess i just wasn't expecting them to just be gone?? they couldn't have just forgotten them.. right? I dunno, but unless someone has a genuine answer for that, imma just keep drawing them on her in the future.

??????

Alright another thing i've been seeing ppl post about is how come she looked so old at the end? I am also confused on that and i've seen multiple theories. She should only be like 30-35 max right?? Because i'm assuming the last episode took place a the time in Rebels where the inquisitors were after the force sensitive children, and Ahsoka was around that age a the time, so why is Barriss any different?

I suppose the one i think makes the most sense is the force healing? I guess it could take a toll on her over the years causing her to look more aged, but still, i'd really prefer an explanation. Also what happened to her hair coverings?? Is that not her culture?? I dunno, again, i really need an explanation. I suppose that maybe her perspective has changed since trying to come to terms with her new life, and her ditching the coverings is a way to free herself from her past? Honestly i have no clue but i just need a lot of things answered.

That's mostly my complaints on it! I just felt things weren't explained enough but to be fair, they only gave her like 3 15-ish min episodes?? I really think they got some explaining to do. Which brings me to my next points.

I'm like... 98% sure that the "old friend" is Ahsoka that she was talking about. Who else would it be?? Like cmon. And if it is Ahsoka, why did we not get to see anything about the moment of confrontation? or at least more of a mention? I guess they wouldn't rlly wanna rush that scene, and tbh, im glad they didn't. It's not some "we talk for 5 min and everything is fine" type of situation. it'll take time. time to rebuild that trust. time to discuss. YEAH. I've heard many people state how it would be more likely and realistic to see a novelization of that and i agree. I would want it to take time, showing the build of the relationship over time, going on further into the story as we watch their strong bond mend from the trauma it's faced. I'm not saying this as a crazed Barrissoka shipper, i mean it that I would genuinely want to see how that confrontation is handled, as do many others and not just as a ship!! It's been a decade! the fans wanna know!

And my last point.

I.believe.Barriss.is.alive.

The more i rewatch it, the more i believe it. the first time around i had my doubts, but something tells me they are NOT done with her character. At least before the stabbing scene anyway. There's too much stuff that's left unanswered for it to just end that way! I dunno man, but Lyn's "i'm going to get you out of here" sounded way too determined for a "im going to move your body out of here" type of thing yk? maybe she could sense she was still alive, just barely hanging in there? I don't think they are done with Barriss Offee, and I wont think so unless we see her corpse being fucking BURIED. Not to mention the UNGODLY amount of parallels of that scene along with them exiting the cave. I've already seen so many point it out. Post-Vader and Ahsoka fight on Malachor?? Back when we all thought Ahsoka may or may not be dead?? sounds familiar hello?? Also a parallel from earlier in the show itself when Barriss saves that unnamed jedi! she HEALS them when they were going to be left there. Something tells me the same fate may happen to Barriss. Idk call me crazy but i will say it again, i don't think they are done with her story.

Thank you for reading my very unorganized thoughts! this has taken me longer to write than expected because i did not predict this to make me have to step away from making SEVERAL times- but yeah! lmk what yall think! and yes you can be expecting some art here and there! i know i've been slacking- Also lmk if u want me to post my crazed Barrissoka thoughts! because aHa i have them. i have them a lot. send help.

ALSO KEVIN KINER I GOT MY EYE ON YOU. BRO NEEDS TO RELEASE THE SOUNDTRACK BEFORE I DIE.

[0theghost0]

Update

Hi hi, everyone. I know it's been a long time. I was actually typing up a message to @prince-infidel because of an ask they sent me, but I realized I should probably just make it a post. So I guess this is an update. Okay, short version: The end of 2022 and the entirety of 2023 was horrible for me. A lot happened, and 97% of it was not good. Now to get into a bit more specifics. While all of this crazy stuff was going on, a friend of mine really needed help with their company. They were just going through a ton, and I jumped on to help them while they were trying to figure that stuff out. Turns out that I was a good fit. So I've completely changed careers currently. Also, with all of this crazy shit going on, I stopped drawing entirely. That's a first for me. No matter what was going on, I always had my drawing as an outlet. It was very new for it to be gone. I actually only recently started drawing again, and when I say recently, I mean last week. I haven't even finished anything and my progress comes in very small doses. Baby steps I guess. Now the stuff you're actually probably interested in. Even though I haven't been drawing, I have been making art. - I've been putting crazy amounts of effort into making costumes. It's really fun and I've level grinded a lot with sewing and fabrics. I made an entire Victorian costume on my own. It was cool. - I weirdly started working on dolls? I have no idea why I started doing that. I hate dolls. - I started making weird... sculptures? I don't know how to describe them. It's basically recycling and turning materials into monstrosities for my own entertainment and to scare random people. - And I've delved more into my hobby of SFX makeup.

I have been being creative, it's just a bunch of stuff that no one cares about. It makes me happy and that's all there is to it really. Which brings me to the long version, because I have no idea how to continue this without going into details. I can only assume all of this answers anyone questions who might be curious. Time to get a bit more specific.

I don't know how to start this, so I guess I'll just say that my interests have completely moved. I think everything above should make that clear, but when I'm referring to interests, I mostly mean the things that inspire me. This is actually typical for me. I love fiction and am a fan of many, many things. I get really involved in a fandom for a while, get bored, then move on to one that is piquing my interest more. Eventually I come back and the cycle starts over. I always keep up with all of my interests simultaneously, it's just that one usually dominates the others. The thing is, comic books have completely lost my interest currently.

There's a lot of factors. I'm not going to repeat stuff that you've probably heard a thousand times from other people about the current state of the comic industry, comic writing, the movies, the video games blah blah blah whine whine whine. I think one of the big things though is that this last year has really changed me. I'm just a really different person now. I'm not that happy-go-lucky nerd I was before. I think my major concern is that I honestly think it would be fucked up if I continued to post here.

People started following me here because of my art and my posts. It would be fucked up to switch that around on them and just show back up as this different person with different art, different interests etc. I've thought about making an update on here a bunch of different times, but I never did because of stuff like that. However, in a way, it's been really nice. It's been nice to just do whatever stupid art project comes into my head, and to do it just for the sake of making something. I think dropping drawing all together (not by choice, mind you) turned out to be good for me. I think I got in tune with a creative side of myself that I'd lost a long time ago. It's been pretty neat.

I've thought about just leaving this tumblr to history. I honestly think that I should. It can be a weird time capsule of this specific fandom in this specific time period. I've thought about just making different social media accounts so that people who want to see any of my new, awful creations could if they wanted to. I don't know though. I'm just all up in the air all the time now lol

I get this isn't an "all questions answered" kinda post. Not that most people needed them, but I know that there are people who just liked my art in general and I knew they must be curious. So I hope I at least answered some stuff and gave some clarity.

[pico-digital-studios]

Into, Across and Beyond! Scripting: Christmas Journal Entry

Lone Guardian Journal entry #50

"It's been quite the year we had, huh? All sorts of stuff has come and gone, all the crazy adventures, all the rough stuff happening in Earth-0... it's all led up to this major point in the traditional calendar.

Yes, I'm talking about Christmas. It's celebrated in quite a lot of ways both on Earths and throughout the multiverse. Some look forward to seeing the decorations around towns, some are looking forward to the presents that'll show up underneath the tree, and some simply enjoy the opportunity to spend time with family and friends where they couldn't otherwise.

And the celebrations vary on beliefs, too. Around this time of the year, Christians celebrate the coming of Jesus Christ on Christmas night many years ago, and even then, the holiday can still be enjoyed by those whose beliefs have been slighted a bit or if they don't believe in a God at all. And even between hemispheres on Earths, the season can vary. The Northern Hemisphere get it in chilly winter, while the Southern Hemisphere get it in a hot summer.

And naturally, with the seasons come differences in the activities partaken over the Christmas season and into the following two months. Those enjoying winter usually find themselves making snowmen, snow angels, having snowball fights... pretty much anything like that if the snow is deep enough. Heh, I can tell kids would be excited if the snow means they have to have a day off of school. While those basking in summer usually get stuff like beach days and ways to keep cool as the sun looms overhead.

Of course, I really can't say that for everybody. Several people remain unable to celebrate Christmas for a variety of reasons; homelessness, poverty, war, or even loneliness. I feel sorry for all those people. And I know some really don't want to celebrate Christmas at all for differing reasons. As much as it's hard to admit, I know you can't just change their minds just like that. It'd be a miracle before something like what Ebenezer Scrooge went through occurs to turn those frowns upside-down. I simply pray that a miracle can happen for those still suffering, even in a festive time like this...

As for me, though...

(Background assets by DanielMania123)

I traditionally celebrate my Christmases here, in a location between realms known as the OMEGA Universe. You can think of it as the Omega Timeline, but having been expanded by the amount of residents that have moved here for various reasons; escaping failed timelines, seeking refuge after a universe got destroyed, or even just passing through. As you can see, I'm in the urban side of the place, while the UT/DR bunch are still in their rural area as per normal.

Originally, this place was simply around various AUs of tales of monsters under Mt. Ebott, though it's since expanded into the booming utopia it is today. It's not always easy with circumstances like injuries or recovering from whatever happened in the past, but those helping run the place are always happy to help try and make people happy again, however they can.

And, to be honest, I can relate to their struggles. I came from a failed timeline myself, and the scars I suffered from what felt like eternal torture still haven't fully gone away, but I'm still hanging in there, finding reasons to keep on living. Whether through enjoying doing the right thing, seeing the sights of the multiverse, or spending time with my own found families.

It's a little strange to think about, but in a way, the OMEGA Universe has pretty much become a second home for me thanks to the amount of times I've been there. It's honestly a great place to relax whenever I need a break from travelling the multiverse via my base; plus, said base's energy isn't infinite, so it works as a recharge point for its fuel supply. Having lived on the edge for much of my life after abandoning my original timeline, it's a lovely change of pace to be in a completely welcoming community like that one.

That, and the royal family there. That universe's counterparts of Sonic and Lilac are really lovely to be around. I'm always welcome at the castle at any point, and I even got to prepare names for their kids in advance for their start in life. And considering my new boyfriend, Cody (formerly dubbed "Counterstrike"), got adopted into the family after I got him out of his old dimension, it makes being around them all the more sweeter!

The place really encapsulates a future I really want to see happen in Earth-0; a world where conflict, war and negativity are gone, and all men, women and everyone in between can be together in a thriving community. Those without homes would be given safe places to live, bad dictators would be a thing of the past, criminals and those trying to instigate wars or genocide would be given the punishments they deserve, and discrimination would be stopped entirely. I just wish that really could be reality, though, but a guy can dream.

While the life of a traveller often calls me, it's always sweet to relax in the OMEGA Universe whenever my current tasks are all done. And it's part of what keeps me going each time, and why I can get back up no matter how much I get knocked down! CORE, Poppy, Sonic, Lilac, Nerila, Cody... I can't thank you all enough for the support you've shared over my long journey. Even from up here as I'm writing this entry in my journal, I wanted to wish you all a very merry Christmas, and as happy a new year as we can get!"

Lone Guardian Nitro

Merry Christmas this 2024, and a happy New Year for 2025! Let's push for a brighter and more positive future together!

[bbhiiiko12]

[SVT Dino] It Starts With a Dream...

*(it's my first ff, if there are any improvements to make or suggestions pls let me know!!! Sorry if there are grammatical errors)*

Chapter One: Prologue

Twelve years. That’s how long we’ve known each other. It feels surreal sometimes, to think back on those early days of being trainees—wide-eyed, determined, and maybe a little too stubborn for our own good. It was always hard, always exhausting, but it was also when I met him. Dino, the maknae of Seventeen, though back then, he was just Chan, another kid with dreams as big as the sky.

We weren’t supposed to get along so easily. There were so many of us back then, all vying for the same spotlight, all with our own struggles. But somehow, amidst the chaos, we found each other. Maybe it was because we both knew what it was like to be young, to feel like we had so much to prove. Or maybe it was just fate. Either way, from the moment we bonded over late-night practice sessions, trying to perfect choreographies until our feet gave out, I knew I had found a friend in him.

Now, it’s 2024. He’s 25, I’m 23, and everything has changed. We’ve both debuted, gone through the ups and downs of idol life, and ended up working under the same company again after Seventeen joined Hybe. Life has been one crazy ride, but through it all, Chan has been there. Whether it was him showing up at my debut stage, cheering louder than anyone, or me sitting backstage with Seventeen as they rehearsed for another world tour, we’ve always had each other’s backs.

It’s funny, isn’t it? How some people just become constants in your life, no matter where the road takes you. We were always close—closer than most people probably realized—but there was never anything more. Not back then, anyway. At least, not that either of us admitted.

But lately, something’s shifted. There’s a different energy between us, a quiet understanding that maybe, just maybe, those old feelings we used to brush off weren’t as simple as we thought. I’ve caught him looking at me differently, and I know I’m guilty of the same. It’s subtle, but it’s there—the lingering glances, the way our hands accidentally brush against each other more often than before.

I’m not sure when things started to change. Was it during one of those late-night calls when we were both too tired to sleep but too wired to rest? Or maybe it was when we celebrated his birthday this year, and I realized just how much he had grown, not only as an idol but as a person. Whatever it was, it made me start to wonder if what we have now could ever become something more.

But we’re still us. Friends first, always cheering each other on. He’s Dino of Seventeen, with his bright smile and endless energy, and I’m... well, me. We’ve never needed to label what we are, but I can’t help but think that maybe, after all this time, we’ve been dancing around something real.

“Ya, you ready for practice?” His voice breaks through my thoughts as he steps into the practice room, his eyes lighting up when he sees me. “You’ve been spacing out.”

I smile, pushing the thoughts aside for now. “Just waiting on you, Chan.” Just realising that we have a unit performance coming up with other artists from our company. 

“Let’s make it a good one, like old times,” he grins, offering me his hand to help me off the floor. And just like that, it’s us again. Two friends who’ve been through it all, who’ve always been there for each other.

But this time, something feels different. Maybe this time, the story won’t end with just friendship.

And honestly? I think I’m ready to find out.

[multiverse-imagines]

Reverse Isekai AU!!

It's time for Knives and Vash to finally talk after Knives has been gone for 8 months traveling the continent.

Clarification: Knives is TriMax Knives, and Vash is 98 Vash.

Warning! Manga spoilers!

Under the Stars

June, year 6

Vash was making his way up to the loft one night. Wolfwood and you, his Mayfly, were out of town at a Three Days Grace concert, so he would be sleeping alone tonight. Setting the book he had been reading on the end table, his eye caught a figure out on the roof of the garage.

Knives was sitting on the roof, knees pulled to his chest as he watched the stars. Vash paused before making his way downstairs, and slipping a sweater on. He left the house, approaching the spot where Knives sat.

"Hey, mind if I join you?" Vash called from the ground. Knives' face peeked over the edge of the garage, looking down to his brother.

"Sure. C'mon up. Use the suite balcony to hop up." Knives almost seemed to be smiling. Vash walked up the stairs to the little guest suite above the garage that Knives called home, then exited to the balcony, and hopped up onto the roof. He sat down next to Knives, his posture a lot more relaxed than his brother's.

"You, uh, looked a little lonely. Figured you might want some company." Vash shrugged.

"It's a good night to stargaze." Knives nodded, avoiding the accusation, "They're all jumbled around compared to No Man's Land."

"I know. It's almost crazy to see such a different map of the sky. I think it's really pretty though. Such a good view of the Milky Way." Vash indulged Knives' topic change. The two were silent, not really knowing how to continue their conversation.

"What was it like?" Vash finally breathed out.

"Hm?" Knives raised an eyebrow.

"Merging with so many of our sisters. What was it like?" Vash elaborated. Knives let out a solemn chuckle.

"It was amazing. To be one with so many plants, to feel such amazing power, to feel… like I wasn't alone anymore…" Knives frowned, "Which is why it sucked when My Vash convinced them all to leave and return to their bulbs across No Man's Land. I had to use every ounce of power I had to recreate my body from scratch. I died making sure he was safe… just like I had always tried to do…" another long pause sat between them.

"Even if he didn't truly know… about your death… I could tell he was very happy to see that you did something kind in the end. Did you take the time to read the manga yet? To get his story?"

"I'm about halfway through the 3rd Volume of TriMax. It's just kind of rough. Seeing my brother make stupid mistakes, see the pain he's gone through, knowing that I caused it all in some way or another. It's like a testament to all of my mistakes, and the effect it had on others. I haven't watched your show yet either, but My Dear Pet was telling me about it." Knives shook his head, remembering your encouragement to read and watch the Trigun media.

"My show isn't too bad, honestly. It's different enough from your brother's story to where I think you might actually laugh a little. I meant it when I told My Knives that I had fun. Those days before I started fighting the other Gung-Ho Guns was pretty amazing, even if I was a wanted criminal the whole time." Vash chuckled.

"Sounds like something He would say." Knives nodded, a gentle smile returning to his face as he looked at the stars once more.

"What was it like to kill Legato?" Knives hit back with a heavier question, "You hadn't killed anything yourself before. What was it like?"

"I still have nightmares about it." Vash frowned, "I didn't want to kill him. I knew there was some way to defeat him, and save The insurance girls and everyone would live but… maybe I just didn't think fast enough…"

"I forgive you, ya know, for killing my right hand man. He wanted to break your resolve just as much as I did. It… it wasn't right. There was a better way for everyone. I was just too stupid to see it."

"We all make mistakes, Knives. Yours was just a super big one that had catastrophic consequences for over a century." Vash gently nudged Knives with his elbow, indicating the lack of malice in his statement, "I understand your frustrations, though. I always did. But I could never justify what you did in your attempt to fix things."

"I-I know. Looking back, and seeing it as something I don't live in anymore, it was easy to see the better option I could have taken. I… I just didn't want us or anyone else of our kind to end up like Tesla…"

"I know… that was scary to read. You two were very messed up by that. So scared, and weary of humans from then onward. He had Rem to pull him out of that mindset, but no one was truly there for you. I'm sorry." Vash frowned, scooting closer, wrapping Knives in a hug. Knives flinched at the contact, but soon returned Vash's hug.

"Thank you, Vash." Knives sighed.

The two of them continued to talk through the night. Heavy things, funny things, Knives' travels, gushing about you, Vash's relationship with Wolfwood, how Knives was coping with being on Earth, their opinions of the ADE, Rem, especially Rem, their similar and different experiences on the SEEDS ship, and anywhere else that their shared train of thought drifted to.

The sky began to turn pale, signaling the two had been up all night. They returned into the suite, and Vash gave a wave as he left to go back to the loft in the main house to sleep. Although the two hadn't really said it aloud, they knew they had truly become what they hadn't been before.

Brothers.

[dem0nguy]

The council (me, myself, and I) have decided, I shall post about my way-too-elaborate OC lore!

I’ll likely share this through story snippets, spurts of lore, art, or whatever else comes to me. Regardless, I hope you enjoy something I’ve been crafting for many years in the back of my mind.

Now let me introduce you to a story called:

A Good Demon

Listen, part of me still doesn’t understand everything that’s happened to me over the past couple years. But these journal entries, those that I wrote while it was happening. May be the only accurate recount I can give you.

So much has changed over the years, I’ve lost and gained. I’ve gone from a naïve little boy to a kid who knows too much for his age.

So let my younger self tell you our story:

9/22/19

It’s My Birthday! Wahooo!!!!

Man I’ve been psyched for weeks! I’m turning twelve, and tomorrow I start 6th grade! It’s kinda crazy honestly. I’m not sure if I should be excited, or terrified.

But well, that’s what this journal is for. Writing down my thoughts and worries. As much as I will use it for that, I also wanna be able to look back when I’m older! It’ll be cool to see what future me thinks of present me (I hope future me is doing well!) He’s not, but the notion is nice.

I got a whole bunch of presents today! First off, I got this journal. Which seemed like a lame present at first (especially in comparison to my twin brother’s remote controlled car) but I’m learning to like it. I think… The journal is a marble red-black pattern, with a gold engraving on the front of my name “Adam”.

I also got a bunch of chocolate (my favorite candy!), as well as action figures from my favorite TV show, a few new books, a couple letters with money, and an odd red and blue crystal necklace. Irrelevant as it may be, chocolate is still my favorite candy.

The necklace was a gift from my Uncle Sam. He’s a very, err, interesting guy? I don’t know, he’s very closed off, and doesn’t seem very fond of anything really. But my dad (his twin brother. Isn’t it crazy there are two pairs of twins in this family??) Likes having him around.

My twin, Conner, got a similar necklace. Though it was a little more blue than red. Uncle Sam was very hesitant when giving them to us, almost as though he didn’t want to. It made me wonder if my dad had made him buy these for us.

I’m not ungrateful for his gift. Just, skeptical. He told us to keep the necklaces close by all day and night, that they’re a sign of good luck. Should’ve been more skeptical…

I’m not exactly gonna give up potential good luck. I’ll definitely need it for tomorrow. I’m absolutely terrified that I’m gonna get lost in the big concrete building that is “middle school.” I’ll have more than one teacher a year now, how will I remember them all?? What if I forget and walk into the wrong classroom? God that would be so embarrassing. All the looks from the other students trained on me, I can almost hear their snickering and laughing in my ears!

Even worse, what if I’m stuck in a class with no one I know? What if all my friends and my brother are on completely different sides of the building? What if there’s an emergency?? What would I do? Funny how this was my greatest fear when I was twelve.

I don’t think I can answer any of those questions, just thinking about them shakes me to the core. But, it is nice to write down on paper. Somehow the words are less scary when you can see them.

Hey, maybe this good luck charm will help me after all.

Little did I know it would make my life living hell.

(Part twoooooo :D)

[notmeobsessedw60y-o-rockstars]

Say Hello 2 Heaven is amazing. Such a beautiful song. You could tell how much Andy meant to Chris and the fact he wanted to include his MLB band mates was such a kind and sweet gesture. Chris Cornell was a truly genuine soul.

Have you listened to any Mother Love Bone? It's definitely of its time if you know what I mean. But it's fun music. Not super glam but a little. Some of Andy's lyrics were out there but then he has the beautiful Chloe Dancer/Crown of Thorns. It can be bittersweet sweet to think about how his death was the reason we have Pearl Jam but that's how life works sometimes.

Ooh fav love show?? That's a hard one. But I gotta go with funnily enough a PinkPop one too!! Pearl Jam played PinkPop in 92 and that concert is amazing. I can't even begin to tally how many times I've rewatched that show.

I've thought about reordering track listings. What an interesting idea though. There are times when I'm listening to PJs No Code when I think they should have put Hail Hail first. It's 2nd but it's definitely an opener you know. It's more heavy than Sometimes, which is a beautiful song but should have been more in the back lol. But No Code is their record that fans have a lot to say about. It has a spoken word track. It was their record that was trying to test their fans I guess. See who would stay and who would go. But it's probably my fav of their albums. It's different and quirky but still them. Sorry that's a lot of words. I feel very deeply for No Code. PJ don't have any bad albums but sometimes I forget a couple of theirs mostly cause I just don't listen to them enough. Does that ever happen to you?

That's so lovely though that you'd want to connect to your roots. I live in a very beautiful scenic spot that most people would give anything to visit or live in. I try not to take that for granted.

You said this is your first year doing Secret Rocker Santa, so are you new to Tumblr? I've not gone through your blog yet but I see that you have a poll blog. I have one too! I just think they're fun. So though I can't actually send you a poll I'll ask you if you could only meet one rock star between the options of Chris Cornell or John Paul Jones, who would you pick? Era of either is up to you.

🧑🏻‍🎄

ive listened to some mlb but not much actually. Honestly I think a band being "of its time" can even improve the experience lol, cause I always seem to be very interested in culture of the years way before I was born.

That doesn't really happen to me, honestly! There are some albums by bands I love that I don't listen to much, like led zepp ii, but none that I really forget about. I guess most of the bands I listen to don't have as expansive of a discography as Pearl Jam lol

To ask an extra question, recently I've been really obsessed w the new abnormal by the strokes, which is kinda not the subgenre of music I usually listen to. Have you experienced anything like that recently? What have you been most into these past weeks?

I'm not entirely new, per se, but definitely not like a veteran or anything 😭 I've been on Tumblr for a bit over a year.

And to answer your either-or question... as much as I love JPJ, theres just no comparison 😭 I'd do so much to meet Chris it's crazy. Him and his music have really changed my perspective and taste on so many things as well as help me process my emotions. For example I love listening to Down on the Upside when I'm angry because it helps me both reflect and silently let out my anger. Do you have any albums or songs you listen to specifically when you feel a certain way?

[1d1195]

Not him inviting his friend over😭 A deep clean is always so satisfying! I hope you'll be able to still recharge a bit plus I support hiding for a bit!Oh that sounds pretty good!! And it just makes sense you would be most excited for the veggies and honestly i'm excited for you lol

I think that it’s very easy for most shows to lose their way so I totally get it! Anyways I also LOVED cake boss as a kid!! Buddy was like a GOD in my eyes HAHA

I would CRY if someone said that to me omg that's so sweet😭But yeah i get how seeing your students struggle can be difficult but I guess it is a good thing that she likes you at least! Like that has to mean something lol Though I can only imagine what goes on in her head so hopefully she can out grow constantly being in drama lol 

NOT BANK OF AMERICA HAHA I honestly don't blame her! I have heard many horror stories from that place so in this case I say that’s so valid lol 

Us together in person would just be TOO powerful(i LOVE that for us) !!! which is why the universe put us on opposite sides of the country lol. I seriously try to edit out “unnecessary” details through my responses but I fear in person my train of thought is not linear when I'm comfortable 😭 People have also lost the meaning of a good filler episode and long seasons! I can argue so much how streaming has changed the way people appreciate shows/movies which is crazy!

Sadly I only get one class with a break :( which is CRAZY considering I'm sure the professors don’t enjoy these long ass classes either?! But I don’t think it’s weird at all! I felt good about this decision ultimately because I receive aid from the state and that only lasts for 4 years so it’s a MUST that I need to be done on time! Plus even though it may not seem like it, compared to how i was even a year ago, i am in a better place so I did take some time to think about it lol And I totally get you!! You’re a perfectionist and if you feel like this is how you’ll be in therapy then it would probably feel more like a burden for you. I used to have a similar fear too when I first started therapy when I was younger so you’re not weird for thinking that at all! But the right therapist for you will never make you feel like that trust me! It’s definitely a process and please NEVER FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE TO STAY WITH ONE OUT OF OBLIGATION! If you have any doubts even after the first session, trust your gut! It’s annoying of course with insurance and all that but it never hurts to try! Oh bestie do I have a surprise for you my therapist is a MAN 😭he’s the first guy therapist i’ve had and I was honestly never wanting one tbh but at the time I was just SO desperate to start therapy again that I caved lol I too hate men most of the time and I lowkey feel uncomfortable sometimes around them but obviously he doesn’t make me feel like that lol I think that he’s definitely helped me a lot and idk it’s been very helpful in this stage of my life lol Hope that if/when you start therapy that you’ll be able to find someone who understands you and sees you for all that you are, which is a lovely person!

YAY TO ONE MORE WEEK!! YOU GOT THIS!! I do understand your frustration though with kids still managing to fail. Even though I'm sure the majority of teachers try to make it as easy as possible while still trying to teach them as much as they can. It also sucks if they don’t communicate if they might be struggling with the content and/or stuff in their personal life so that just doesn’t help. I know that you try your best and really there can be only so much done with the circumstances! I totally get it!  

AWW OMG OUR ANNIVERSARY TOO?! SAM THAT’S SO SWEET OMG 😭😭😭literally that story gave me the courage to ask for my emoji and I will always be so grateful that you let us read your stories!!

Btw i'm gonna have to talk about most part 3 in a different ask bc this is already too long lol-💜 

Haven't had the veggies yet, but the friend is gone THANK GOD. I didn't like him very much (he wasn't creepy or anything, but just not my cup of tea) I like most of my bf's friends. This one has a habit of rubbing people the wrong way.

I jus thought the crazy cakes were so fun! Buddy was hilarious and I loved the family dynamics 😂 reminded me of home 💀

When she's being annoying I think about how she said that to me. She also will come in and yell at younger students when they're acting stupid in class and put them in their place because she's high key terrifying 😭😭 But naturally I bought her a book this weekend so she would do her summer reading. Trying to get her to connect with her studies and shit. I need her to graduate but I'm worried she's going to be on the 6-year track if she doesn't get her shit together 😂😂

I LOVE THAT FOR US TOO!

Bro, there's no WAY your professors enjoy glazed-over faces for three hours. I give my kids breaks after like TWENTY MINUTES hahahaha My attention span is shot after an hour. Ah, nothing like financial aid to push you into an absolute FRENZY of a timeline ugh. It will totally be worth it--I think, I feel that way about my degrees anyway. I tell people all the time I'm glad I grew up poor I wouldn't have been able to afford college. "The hassle was worth the tassel" and all that.

A MAN?! I'm actually really pleased with this fact. I'm sure he's very capable--especially if you've chosen to stick with him. I knew they were capable of empathy 😂

I appreciate all the tips and thoughts! I've heard that before and I actually saw a character on my show trying out different therapists and my cousin also mentioned it to me. So I'm willing to shop around. But YES, I think you described it perfectly! I would def feel like a burden to please someone else in my life but I know you're right--with the right therapist I won't feel that way.

It just feels like my fault. Like I'm not doing enough. But also I don't know how to make them care. That's my issue during the regular school year too. I feel like the students I have a terrifying, growing apathetic nature toward things. Maybe it's just my age but they don't seem to like sports, movies/TV, or ANYTHING. I know I joke, but I'm not exactly old and I have SUCH a hard time relating to them sometimes. I also feel bad for all my coworkers because I'm CONSTANTLY asking for reassurance because I feel so defeated and whatnot. But anyway. I'm excited for the week to be done and then I'll have a chunk of weeks to myself reading and preparing new lessons and shit before the school year starts. It's far to think in advance and I will def miss the $ but I'm strongly considering taking next summer off. 

You are the sweetest! 💕 I'm so glad to share them. I find it so therapeutic to hide behind my screen and let you all read my inner thoughts 😭

hope you have a good week! I imagine you're rapidly approaching finals for your first two classes 😭 best of luck (not that you'll need it!) 💕

xoxo

[purposlyconfused]

Been 7-months and many changes

First off where has the time gone, I feel like the last time I was writing about the new guy it was winter. And now here we are in summer vacation and I have moved 40 mins away from where I lived for a few years. INSANE!

It has been 7 months of dating my amazing person and I couldn't imagine life any differently. There has been ups and downs as we did have our big fight just about a month or so ago. We worked hard and made it out and created a healthy communication style and been working through my trauma of the EX... this new guy has shown me that intimacy is not just sex. It is being able to cuddle up on the couch together after a long and hard day, to be able to give each other a long lasting hug during the day. Giving frequent kisses and making flirty comments. Never in my life I thought intimacy could be something other than sex, and still feel fulfilled in my intimate portion of my relationship. Quality time also being a level of intimacy as you share things you both enjoy or show each other what your passionate about. He is truly the best and I have grown in such a positive way and so has he. We definitely make each other the best versions of ourselves.

Now... the big change! Back in March my partner came to me with the question of living with him as both our leases would be up and thought we were ready for the big step. Cost of living is insane and he is rarely home due to his work lifestyle so I said why not! And of course I would be able to see you more which is amazing and I would feel more fulfilled in my relationship with being able to see him more. I honestly thought it was insane because we have dated only a short while... even my family had their concerns but my close friends encouraged it as they thought he was this great guy and we are so good together. I was afraid to live with another man... I never wanted to do it again after my ex as it was a horrible experience and left me feeling broken and mental health was deteriorated. I knew spending 5 days at a time with my partner was amazing but giving up my comfort of my OWN home and sharing a home with someone else again would be quite the transition. Spending more time at his apartment I was warming up more to the idea of living in a new place with him and enjoyed the out of city lifestyle. When it was time to move all my furniture and boxes in, I was super excited but also secretly terrified because what if I made the wrong decision? What if I don't like having all my stuff here and want to go back but now my home is gone. And so, after the moving was done and everyone went home, I bursted into tears. Upset that my other apartment was empty and all my stuff is moved so easily (easy to pack up your life)...expressing to my partner and new roommate that I am terrified that if this doesn't work out then where will I live? What if we get in a big fight? What if I loose myself again? So many what ifs.... but he just held me and made sure I felt validated and comforted. He knew it was a good idea and that we are great at living together. That everything will be okay and things will settle soon. Honestly, feeling validated was the best emotion that one can have. Making you feel not crazy and not being gaslight because you have an honest concern and someone doesn't create a fight over it. I got really lucky and I believe we remind each other each day of how lucky we are and how much love we have.

As I continue to live with him for the first week, its scary because our intimacy seems different this week but thats because he is working and I am not because I am on summer vacation. Lucky me, I have to find hobbies to keep my mind occupied because if not I am left with my own thoughts and worries.... does he think I am fat? Not sexy? Why is not kissing me more? Does he not want to have sex because he is masturbating or finding it else where? But then I talk myself off the ledge because he treats me so well when he gets home, makes me feel loved... its just that this is the first summer I am not working and I have told myself of the hobbies I want to try this summer.... gardening, puzzles, colouring, video games, reading etc....

crazy what the mind is capable of when life slows down and your left with your thoughts...

Hopefully write again soon before 3-4 months happen down the line haha.

[bts-trash-blog]

Best  Of Us

Prologue:Story Introduction 

Summary: Being an Omega is hard, it could be so lonely. The hardships that you would sometimes feel seemed to much, always expected of things you could never fully reach. Always seen as a piece of meat to some, seen as weak and stupid. So you worked your ass off to finally work your dream job. And the world all changed when you met one of the bosses. And couldn't help but end up falling.

Paring: Rap Line X Fem!Chubby OmegaReader

Warning: A/O/B!VERS, mentions of sexual harassment, heats, ruts, knotting, breeding, angst, possessive behavior, more warnings will be added as needed.

An: Trying something diffrent with intrducing this story to you guys! This story over all, is going to be a diffrent experinces as it goes along for you guys.  I can’t wait for this story to progress, and can’t wait for you guys to read.

...._.NEXT

Being an Omega was hard, being a female Omega born from an Alpha base family was harder. Though you were lucky, your family loved you. Your father an Alpha and mother a Beta, they both had no clue how to go about raising an Omega. When you presented at 16, you were a surprise to them, your mother trying to stick close to you during your heat though she  had no way to help you. But they tried. They did anything and everything that they could do to help you.

Your father during these five days, had dragged himself to Omega classes for non omegas,  to learn about your sub-gender. He had taken fucking classes, to learn how to help you adapt to your new senses. Things he had no clue about. When you came out of your heat haze, and was greeted with protein and fat filled food you had felt comfort. Especially when your father has wrapped you in a blanket that smells like him and your mother. Soothing your omega more. When you learned of your father taking classes you had cried, which had surprised the shit out of both him and your mother since you had barely cried over anything.

From that day on, your life changed.

You lost friends, and grew distant from certain family members that gave you the creeps your parents even followed your omega intuition which you learned later in life that not many families do. Your father grew more protective, your mother filled with more worry, doting over you making sure you were eating the right amount of everything. You figure changing drastically, hips wide, breast had grown full and your thighs and stomach had thickened up. Though you felt gross, your parents reassured that you were beautiful, and that your subgender was just making sure you were healthy.

Over the years, you had grown accustomed to the eyes that would linger on your curved frame, friends leaving in fear of their partners wanting you instead of them. The only friends you had were other omegas, who knew what you felt. It was nice knowing who really had your back, who was really your ride or die in this world. You honestly were now just waiting for the right mate, or pack, to come in and love you. Choose you.

You went to school but it was close enough to your home that you could still live with your family. Hence why you probably hadn’t found anyone even remotely interested in you, though you know it wasn’t necessary they didn’t find you attractive or didn’t crave the omega scent that twisted with your own. Your scent didn’t drive the crazy. Didn't make their Alpha scratch to claim you.  

So you waited.

As you waited, you worked your ass off to prove that your subgender status did not define how smart, and determined you were. It was a struggle when you were applying to colleges after high school. They weren't the typical schools that omegas go to, the ones that taught omegas how to build a home or to teach them for educational purposes. No they were for music and business, odd looks and even professors judging you as you walked into a Beta and Alpha filled class had your head spinning at their pheromones. Yet you pushed through it, you proved yourself in class after class. Lecture after lecture. Wanting to show that you knew what you were doing, that music was a true love of yours.

You had always loved music, your mother having been a music teacher for some extra cash in the house. So the soft sounds of piano keys or the strum of a guitar, the sting of a violin was always heard and played throughout your home. It had made you curious, your head peeking into the spare room watching child after child play. Till one day your mother called you in. The feeling of the cold piano keys against your fingers as you slide onto the piano stool, your finger pressing the smoot keys as a simple melody you heard your mother student play echo out making your mothers face light up. From that day on, when your parents couldn’t find you, they made the house silent to hear the simple yet sharp keys play, slowly growing more and more bold as you aged. Smile bright on their faces.

You still remember that day. It was like any other, your father was driving you to campus the two of you talking lightly about the movie you had gone and watched with your friends you had made in school. A loud and crazy pair of Omegas, Lisa and Bambam. You were laughing about the moment Bmabam had dropped the popcorn onto an attractive Alpha when it happened. The jerk of the car, blaring of a horn and the bright lights of the other car. You remember the pain in your neck, the feeling of something dripping from your head as you opened your eyes to see your fathers head slaked to the side, the last memory you have of him. You remember calling out for him, arm stretching out to him but wincing and dropping in pain, so much pain you had blacked out. When you woke up, you were met with a dim light and the beep of a heart motter, your mother practically on the bed with you clutching to your fathers jackets. Her face was sunken in, under her eyes were blue yet the edges were red with an irritated look, when she felt you shift she had bolted up and looked at you with wide eyes, filling with relief. When the words pasted her lips after a few questions with your doctors, her hand smoothing down your hair as you shook your head. Your father had died on impact.

The piano sound stopped playing, the sharp keys that you had learned with your soft voice had stopped the day your father passed away.

You switched major to just business, music fading from you as you worked but your work ethic never deflated.I n fact your ethic seemed more driven, you pushed yourself harder and pushed yourself to limits you never thought you would reach. It worried your mother from time to time, walking into your room, your fathers blanket wrapped around your shoulders, body bent over crossed legs passed out. She had even seen you work on a paper during your heat, in between waves of pain. You worked your way past every obstacle that was in front of you, jumping through hoops and dodging everything thrown at you. You reached your senior year without a hitch after your fathers passing, your mother was proud even more so when you had fallen into an internship at one of the most reptile companies  in the world. Min&Jung

They were two of the most powerful men, and Alphas in the world. They had worked from the absolute bottom and had built one of the biggest electrical manufacturing companies. Have an Apple product? A smart t.v? They were the reason it was functioning. Your teacher had helped you get the interview, she loved how persistent you were and how you always pushed yourself further and further. And somehow after your first interview, you had another, then the final one with their personal assistant. Out of thrifty other students they chose you. Min Yoongi and Jung Hoseok had chosen you.

Little did you know that their choice alone would change your life forever.

Tag List:

@kth-kpoplover @alex4243 @malyxsoulpersonal @purelyecstacy @ryuyalana

[hxt1b]

Know Your Type

Jaehyun x Reader 

Requested Prompt 21 "you want me to go out with him" 

Genre: Angst, College AU

Warning: Swearing, Smut 

WC: 2.3k

Masterlist 

Prompt List, for any requests you guys may have. I'm currently taking them again!

A/N: I apologize for the grammatical issues I did read it over but some things may have still slipped through. 

I hope you guys like this, please let me know what you think! Feedback is appreciated. 

"I know what type of guys you like." Jaehyun boasted. You scoffed at him, he most definitely did not. 

"Fine then point at a guy you want me to go out with. Since you know my type so well. If you guess right I'll ask him out." You challenged. It wasn't that Jaehyun didn't know you. He did, he just didn't know who you liked because you couldn't look at him and tell him it was, in fact, him. 

Too many thoughts would go through your head every time you thought about telling him. The fact that he could reject you and then you'd lose a friend was terrifying to you. So you stayed quiet. 

"Him," Jaehyun said and pointed at a boy across the room, he was tucked into the corner an unlit cigarette hanging from his lips as he tapped away at his phone. 

You knew him, Lucas was a great guy. A great guy with a girlfriend. 

"You want me to go out with him?"  You couldn't help but laugh, your shoulder bumped into his as you did. 

"He has a girlfriend." You said, "Plus he's not the guy I like." Jaehyun froze next to you. 

"You like someone?" 

Suddenly the couch you were sitting on wasn't big enough for the two of you. You didn't realize you'd said that, he'd just been trying to demonstrate your type. 

"No." 

"But you said you did." 

You couldn't reply to that. So you just stared at him as his face lit up. 

"Tell me who." He said his face getting closer to yours. 

"No." You deadpanned, and he frowned. 

"I bet you I can get you to tell if you have enough shots." You narrowed your eyes at his challenge again. Before you let him know that it was game on. 

This was how you and Jaehyun worked. Playful bets placed practically all the time, every little aspect of life was a game, and honestly, you liked it that way. You liked the way he laughed when he won, the dimply smiles that would adorn his face for the rest of the day. You liked the way he pouted when he lost, the complaining that would ensue was also something you wouldn't change. You liked the way he answered your phone and if he missed the call he called back within seconds. You liked that he called you randomly sometimes, a random 'I bet…' followed by something insane would leave his mouth and you'd always play into it. You liked him, everything about him and you loved your friendship. It was hard but you wouldn't ever tell him you liked him. Because you couldn't give him up. 

Jaehyun and you sat in a random room in the house, a huge bottle of vodka in-between you. The bottle was once full, you'd and Jaehyun had drank a considerable amount. 

"So Y/N, who do you like?" Jaehyun asked his words slightly slurred, the effects of the alcohol in full force. You stared at him, taking in the lift of his mouth as he smirked at you, the way his left dimple appeared as he did so. 

You unconsciously were leaning into him. 

"And if I tell you what do I get?" You asked your hand digging into the carpet in between you as your weight settled onto it. 

Jaehyun lowered his head to yours so that his nose was almost brushing yours. 

"You get to know that your best friend in the whole wide world will wingman you." 

"And what if that meant you'd be wing manning me for yourself?" You asked, your voice soft as the words left you. 

Jaehyun looked at you slowly registering the words that left you. Anxiety rolled in your stomach as you watched him blink at you. 

Fuck.

Fuck. 

Fuck. 

You knew you shouldn't have told him. 

Jaehyun cleared his throat as leaned away from him. 

"You like me?" He asked, you turned your head away from him. Suddenly all the alcohol in your system was gone. You slowly nodded, not being able to look back at him. 

He cleared his throat again, the silence was drowning you as the discomfort in the room grew. Eventually, Jaehyun pulled his phone out of his pocket. Tapping at his screen a few times as he got up. 

"So I- I just got a text from Jungwoo he needs me." You closed your eyes. 

Fuck vodka. 

"I'll see you tomorrow." 

But you didn't.

You didn't see him for a week. The first day you left him alone, the second day you thought maybe something had happened considering Jungwoo had called him that night. So you texted him, he didn't reply. You texted him again only to be left on read. The third day you tried calling him, that failed as well. You very quickly realized he was ignoring you. 

He came into your shared class on Wednesday followed by Jungwoo, and they sat with you. But Jungwoo sat in the middle and Jaehyun left halfway through the class. You didn't try after that, you didn't know how. 

Your head hurt that day because you couldn't help but cry. You knew you were right not to tell him, you knew you were right about the fact that the moment you told him you'd lose him. 

The opening of your apartment door drew you from your thoughts. Doyoung walked in holding a bag of takeout in his hand. 

"You look like shit." He said as his eyes swept over you. You laughed at his words. 

"Thanks." 

Doyoung set the takeout on the coffee table before heading into your kitchen to grab cutlery. 

"He ignored me in class on Wednesday." You said as you looked down at your hands. Your eyes stinging again. 

"You'd think that he would know how to act like an adult. If he doesn't like you back he doesn't have to cut you off." 

You nodded, but he had. Because that was how Jaehyun was. 

"Every girl I become friends with always ruins it by falling in love with me," Jaehyun grumbled as he sat across from you. 

"Humble." You muttered. 

"I'm not joking like I don't mean it as a prick. I just mean I want someone I can be friends with, without them wanting to suck my dick." You looked at him your eyebrows raising. 

Eventually, you rolled your eyes, a chuckle leaving you. "You want a girl to not want you for sex. How ironic."  

"Listen I sleep with girls," He started. 

"A lot go girls," You interjected  

"But I don't pretend to be their friend." He finished. 

"Such a saint you are Jaehyun." 

You weren't close back then, you grew close though over the year since then. To the point that you were inseparable. Until now. 

"Whatever forget him, let's drown in food," Doyoung said, he didn't make it to the couch before the apartment door was opening again. 

Only two people besides you had a key, one of them was already in the apartment. 

You stared at Jaehyun as he looked at Doyoung. 

"Oh, you're here." He said. 

"Yes, I'm here," Doyoung replied. 

"Sorry, I shouldn't have just shown up I guess." He said and retreated out of the apartment. You stared at Doyoung, who let out a loud sigh. 

"Okay fine, go after him. I'm going to start eating though." You nodded as you shot out of your spot on the couch. 

Slipping into a pair of flip flips you charged out the door. The elevator closed as you rounded the corner. So you settled for the stairs. 

You looked crazy, you knew you did. You were wearing an oversized t-shirt with stains on it, you weren't wearing any pants you just had on your underwear. Your eyes were swollen from the crying earlier, and your hair was up in a messy bun. Well, half of it was. 

You stopped to breathe as you hit the main floor, your throat hurting from your lack of air. Somewhere in your brain, you were looking at yourself wondering what the fuck you were doing. But at the forefront of your mind was Jaehyun. 

You pushed out the doors seeing him walking to his car. 

"Hey!" You called running down the few steps as he stopped right beside his car. 

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" You asked loudly, as you charged towards him. 

"I-" You cut him off before he could even truly start. 

"No actually, fuck you. You ignored me for a week. Then you chose to show up without a text, let alone a call. So what I told you I liked you and that's it? You forced me to tell you!"  

You were frantic, and angry and needed to yell at him because if you weren't yelling you would cry. You didn't even care if the people sitting in their apartments heard the commotion and looked out. 

Jaehyun stood silently in front of you fiddling with his keys. 

"Am I really that awful, that if I did like you the only option you'd have is; run away?" You asked, finally letting your voice quiet down as your confidence faded. Your brain being hit with the fact that he may have come to grab his things. The few things he'd left around your apartment. Like his hoodie, his many pairs of socks, the t-shirt you were in right now. 

"No," He finally answered. His eyes finally coming up to your face. 

"Then why have you been ignoring me?" You asked, your eyes stinging again as you tried not to cry. 

Jaehyun took a step towards you, grabbing your arm and pulling you into him. You let him. 

"I had to think. I needed to think about what you said." He said, his head resting on top of yours. You thought about pushing him away. You thought about storming back into your apartment and leaving him here, but you wanted to be in his arms you couldn't push away. So instead you grabbed his t-shirt tightly and pulled him closer to you. 

"I like you too, Y/N." He spoke softly, "I was just shocked when you said it to me at the party. I didn't know how to react so I ran. I'm so sorry for ignoring you. I know I'm a dick. I know I'll have to make it up to you and I will." 

"You were shocked so you decided that not talking to me was the way to go?" You asked, your voice muffled into his chest. 

"I never said I was smart." He said making you softly giggle. 

"You like me?" You asked turning your head up and looking at him. He nodded down at you. 

"Yes." 

Maybe you were too quick to give in, maybe you weren't. All you knew was that a week's worth of trouble boiled down to a few words and you weren't willing to draw it out any longer. You could talk about it more later if you wanted to right now you just wanted him to hold you. You hadn't seen him for a week and you hated it. 

He pressed his lips to yours gently, cautiously. But you quickly deepened the kiss, letting your tongue move across his bottom lip before letting him push his tongue against yours. 

You moaned softly against him, your arms snaking around his neck as you pulled him closer to you. Jaehyun hit the side of the car as you two continued to kiss, his hands moving to your ass and pulling you flush against him. You could feel him hardening between you both. Your hips moving on their own grinding against him. 

His lips left your mouth leaving hot kisses down the side of your jaw. 

"It's cold." You whined as the cold air hit the trail of saliva he was leaving in his wake. Pulling his face away from you he unlocked his car. 

"Doy-" 

"He can wait." He said as he pulled open the back door and ushered you in. He scrambled in after you pulling you onto his lap as he did so. 

"Fuck your so hot." He said. You giggled down at him. 

"I'm in a stained t-shirt." You said as Jaehyun's hands crawled underneath it finding your boobs. You moaned when his cold fingers pinched at your nipples. 

Your hands went to his crotch, palming him through his sweats drawing soft grunts from him. You looked up at his face as he moved his hands to your face bringing your mouth back down to his. 

You pulled his erection out of his sweats bringing him to your clothed core and rubbing the head of his cock against yourself. Jaehyun hissed at your actions, his hand moving to the nape of your neck. 

Jaehyun's other hand moved towards your core, pushing your underwear aside so that he could feel you on his cock. He bucked his hips up towards you. You moaned against him as he began to move between your folds coating his cock in your slick. 

The tip of his dick hitting your clit with every move he made. Your mouth moved away from his, panting you looked down at where he was moving against you. 

"Fuck." You muttered. Your head spinning with each of his movements. 

A loud knocking on his car window scared you, your hands pulling Jaehyun to you as you both look out the car window. 

Doyoung was staring down at you both. 

"I'm going home." He said loud enough for you both to hear. "You two can move upstairs." 

You laughed down at Jaehyun as Doyoung walked away. 

"Were you going to leave after you fucked me?" You asked as you moved off him. Your brain going back to thinking in overdrive. Jaehyun grabbed your wrist pulling your hand to him and forcing you to look at him. His cock tucked away now. 

"I'm sorry I ignored you. I do not plan on doing it again. I swear." You nodded at him and got out of the car, waiting for him to follow you. 

"So you know what type of guys I like huh?" You asked as he used his key to get into your building. 

"Yeah babe, you like douche bags." He said and smiled down at you, dimples and all. You bit the corner of your lip to try to not laugh. Yet you laughed anyway. 

[solarwonux]

10. I still remember the way you taste.

yoongi x f!reader

w.c: 3.8k (YES I GOT CARRIED AWAY SUE ME)

warnings: smut, semi unprotected sex, make up sex, some angst. Briefly edited.

note: lol i think I forgot how to write smut but anyway, hi, um, yes I got carried away lmao. But yeah let me know your thoughts. Send me a drabble prompt hehe. Thank you for reading I hope you enjoy.

drabble game

“I still remember the way you taste.”  Yoongi’s  knee is wedged in between your thighs as he attacks your neck in desperate open-mouthed kisses. “Yoongi, f-fuck, s-stop.” You say in between pants, placing your hands against his chest in an attempt to create some sort of space between the two of you. 

Yoongi smirks against your skin and lifts his head, eyeing you down, pushing his hips further into yours, showing you how much he needed you. “I’ve been holding back from you all weekend. The guys even have a bet going on to see how long I can keep my distance from you.” His hand travels down the side of your body, bunching your silk dress up to your thighs. “Safe to say Jungkook, Hoseok, and Seokjin have lost.” 

You roll your eyes. “God, don’t talk about them right now.” You run a finger down his clothed chest, stopping above the first button of his vest. “At least not when you’re about to fuck me in the bathroom of your best friend’s wedding reception” You pop the first button, earning an enticing low groan from your ex-boyfriend. 

“Hey!” He exclaims flicking your forehead lightly, “he’s your best friend too.” 

“Yoongi, I’m serious I hear their names come out of your lips one more time and I’ll leave you to take care of yourself.” You say as he apologizes with a nod of his head. You unbutton the next two buttons of his vest, stopping before pushing it off his body finally taking in the situation and your surroundings. The bathroom wasn’t dirty, nor was it clean. It had a musty smell making you wonder if someone had already done the deed before the two of you walked in.  “Maybe we shouldn’t do this here.” You quirk a questioning eyebrow. 

He shakes his head in disbelief, “I’m not walking through the reception and the hotel lobby with a boner.” He grinds his hips against yours, proving his point. You let out a moan throwing your head back, hitting the wall behind you lightly. He felt so good, and if it wasn’t for the fact that the hand dryer was painfully digging into your back. You would’ve agreed with his statement. 

“Just stay behind me, I’ll cover you. Who’s room is closer?” You push him away, finally creating the distance you needed. You turn to face the mirror, fixing your smudged lipstick. Yoongi was shocked, staring at you. God, you were so sexy, the product of his late-night escapades by himself. Especially after the two of you had mutually called it quits. 

All throughout the weekend you were driving him crazy, reeling him in to then push him away. He suspects that was your revenge for breaking up with you. One you only agreed to because you knew that once his mind was set on something, there was no way to talk him out of it. 

He had almost survived. Almost. That small buzzword was thrown out the window the second you entered the green room where he and all the rest of the groomsmen were waiting in to let them know the ceremony was going to start in five minutes. The long silk lilac dress you were wearing left little to his imagination, one he didn’t have to use much because he had spent years memorizing every single part of your body. 

You giggle at his dazed look, sending him a wink through the mirror before turning to face him again, planting a slow sensual kiss against his lips, pulling away before he could respond. “Hurry up or I might change my mind.” You pat his chest and walk past him. “I’ll wait outside.” You say in a sing-song voice and Yoongi was now fully convinced you were messing with him. Exuding your revenge and he had foolishly fallen into your trap. 

The walk through the reception was a nightmare. 

Yoongi felt like he couldn’t breathe, his hand sweating in between yours. He sent glares into your back and they only got worse every time you stopped to talk about your new start-up business, with someone he barely recognized. He was proud of you for finally leaving your job. He had witnessed many of your angry breakdowns, his heart shattering every time you cried into his chest because of how unhappy you were working for your dream company. That when he finally got word that you had left and started your own company, boldly rivaling your old one. The sigh of relief he let out was monumental. He was proud of you and would’ve told you, praised you, as you happily explained your ideas. That’s if he was thinking with his head and heart not his dick, which was straining painfully against the waistband of his slacks. If it wasn’t for his suit jacket doing most of the work in hiding it he would’ve died out of pure agony and embarrassment.  

“We finally found an office and we’re moving in when Jimin gets back from his honeymoon. Sadly, he says I’m not allowed to start decorating without him, scared I’ll put an outside fountain in the middle of the whole place.” You say, prompting a booming laugh from Jimin’s dad. 

Jimin’s mom shakes her head, “he gets his perfectionism from my side of the family, I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t worry, honestly, I don’t have an ounce of interior design in my body, so I’d rather he be there to supervise before he yells at me saying that I’ve ruined everything.” 

Yoongi could feel the sweat start to pool above his brow, tuning you and Jimin’s parents out. He had never felt this needy in his entire life. He supposes it's the adrenaline rush of seeing you in such a revealing dress or the fact that he missed you. The last year and a half without you had been awful. Everything reminded him of you and he had to fight the urge to just call you. He never did. Afraid you had found it in yourself to finally hate him for breaking your heart. 

“Yoongi, sweetheart, are you okay?” Jimin’s mom asked, placing the back of her hand against his forehead, making him flinch. “Oh dear, you’re burning up, maybe you should go lay down.” The worry in her voice was evident, melting his heart. Jimin’s parents always treated him like he was one of their own, welcoming him with open arms when Jimin had first invited him and the guys over for lunch after school almost ten years ago. When Yoongi’s parents had kicked him out for choosing to study music production instead of something ‘meaningful’ they had taken him and even offered to pay for his school expenses. He owed them a lot, and if circumstances were different he would’ve thanked them profusely, just like he always did.  

“I think he has a fever so I’m going to walk him back to his room.” You nod your head, letting go of his hand and looping your arm with his. “It must’ve been the shrimp appetizer, he’s never been good with seafood, right baby?” The evil glint in your eye was too much. You’re teasing was getting too much for him to handle. He’s never seen this side of you. It excited him. 

“Right!” 

“Oh please, hurry, we’ll let Jimin know you had to leave early I’m sure he’ll understand.” Jimin’s mom said, pushing the two of you towards the exit. 

Once the two of you were away, closer to the double doors of the reception hall you leaned in, “How are you holding up?” 

“Get me out of here before I drag you to the nearest bathroom again.” 

“Wait, wait, wait.” You hold your hand out before Yoongi can step any closer to your body. A sound of annoyance erupting from his chest. Once upon a time, Yoongi had prided himself in being patient. Tonight was not one of those times. 

The second the two of you were alone in the elevator, his hands and mouth were all over you. Painting beautiful flowers with his mouth against your skin. The noises he had elicited from you made his chest swell with pride and his cock throb painfully against his pants. Every ounce of self control he once harbored was long gone. He didn’t want to miss another second where he wasn’t touching you. 

Yoongi had almost lost his mind while you were fumbling to get the door to your hotel room open. Though, that was mainly his fault, he literally couldn’t keep his hands off of you. 

Yet, now that you were finally in the safety of your hotel room, Yoongi didn’t understand why you were still resisting him and it made him even more frustrated both sexually and emotionally. “What, what do I have to wait for now, I’m so close to coming in my pants please just let me fuck you.” He all but begged, even considered getting down on his knees and kissing the ground you walked on. Though, when he saw you smirk, he knew he had done exactly what you had hoped he would do. 

“Fuck you.” He closed the distance, sighing when you innocently took a step back. 

“I’m trying to but I need to take my shoes off.” You pouted, pointing to your heel cladded feet in front of you, arms behind your back as you swayed from side to side. Yoongi shook his head before taking you into your arms and walking you backwards until the back of your knees hit the bed. You fell back sitting down as Yoongi got down on his knees in front of you. 

“Are you punishing me?” He asked with a pout on his lips. 

You giggled placing both of your hands against his cheeks and squishing them. “Yes.” You affirmed kissing his lips, “I think you deserve it for leaving me.” You gave his cheeks a light tap. “Now get to work or I’ll kick you out.” 

Yoongi scoffed, placing your left foot on top of his knees. His fingers unbuckling the buckle around your ankle slowly, his eyes burning holes into your soul. You swallowed nervously as he slipped it off, his lips connecting with the skin of your ankle, kissing the tiny stick n poke tattoo he had given you after a particularly stressful week of finals, almost three years ago.

 It was crooked. The points of the star weren’t as perfect as he would’ve liked them to be. But it had been entirely your fault. You kept moving, yelping out in dramatized agony every time he poked the needle into your skin, tears welling up in the corner of your eyes. He knew you were just doing it to scare him. Your pain tolerance was higher than any normal human being, which is why he continued his masterpiece, ignoring your pleas to stop. Nevertheless, with a childish pout you had expressed your love for it in more ways than one and vowed to never cover it up no matter what. 

You had kept true to your word. 

“I didn’t mean to.” He sighed, kissing your inner thigh, then moving to the other one. He had long removed your other heel and was now showering you with all the kisses he hadn’t been able to give you in the last year and a half.  “I didn’t want to break up with you.”

His hands traveled up the side of your legs, pushing your dress up further until the white lace of your panties were visible to his soft eyes. He bit his lip, taking in how much of an effect he still had on you. In all honesty, it made him feel on top of the world that your body was still so responsive to his touch. 

“Why did you?” Your voice wavered and you blinked rapidly to keep the tears at bay. Though, you had agreed with his decision to break things off. It had hurt more than you had intended it to hurt. You were left dazed and confused wondering how he could just wake up one day and decide that you weren’t enough for him anymore. 

“You stopped chasing your dreams because of me.” The guilt he had felt every time he held you while you cried out in anger spilled out. The tears now fell down your eyes while he laid you down, taking your dress with him, bringing it over your head and throwing it to the side knocking over the glass of water you kept on your nightstand every night. 

You jumped hitting his chest, “That dress was expensive.” You sniffed and wrapped your arms around his neck, “you’re the biggest idiot I know, I hate you.” You said, burying your head into his chest, mascara staining his pristine white dress shirt, while you unbuttoned it.

 He knew you weren’t crying because of the dress, but this was also not what he meant when he wanted to have you crying tonight. You were right, he was an idiot. 

“I’m sorry,” he pleaded, grabbing your head making you look at him. His own eyes were now filled with tears as he wiped away your own. “I didn’t know what else to do. You weren’t happy.” He kissed your cheek then moved down to your neck, tonguing the spot underneath your ear that he knew would have you weak in your knees. “I-I wasn’t happy.” He confessed against your skin. 

He had never once said it out loud and now that he had, while you pushed his shirt off his shoulders, undressing him further,  he felt childish. “You could’ve just talked to me about it.” You sighed moving your hands down his chest, your manicured nails scraping his skin lightly. He shuddered, the coldness of your touch was something he had never been able to get used to. He had missed it. 

“I know.” He licked down your neck, his fingers playing with your bottom lip, taping it lightly. “I didn’t know how to approach the situation.” His eyes all but rolled back as you took his fingers into your mouth, moaning around his digits. Your mouth was so hot and wet. He wanted to be inside of it, fucking it until you were sputtering and crying tears of pleasure, his precum mixing with your saliva. But he decided he could wait to fulfill his fantasy, right now he needed to show you much he still loved and cared about you. 

Yoongi took his fingers out of your mouth, trailing his moist digits down your neck, painting a masterpiece until they wrapped around your nipples, pinching it, while his mouth kissed around your other nipple. The low sighs of pleasure you were making were astronomical. A beautiful melody he will never get tired of listening to. 

“S-So you decided to break up with me, f-fuck.” You gasped when he lightly bit down on your nipple. It was euphoric, enough to have you reaching your orgasm. You were overly sensitive, overwhelmed with the fact that he was so close to you again. 

“I thought we already agreed that I’m an idiot.” He joked and sat back on his knees, pushing your thighs apart with his hands. The only thing keeping you covered were your panties that were sticking onto you like a second skin and it was driving him insane. 

“Let me keep reminding you then.” You smirked and sat up on your elbows, lifting your hips from the bed to meet his. “Break my heart again and I’ll cut off your dick, and this time I sincerely mean it my love.” He shuddered, your menacing words filled with possibilities and hope. Hope that after tonight you and him could start over again. 

“Have I ever told you how much you actually scare me?” He tilted his head with curiosity, pushing your panties to the side. His mouth watering when he felt how truly wet you were for him. He wanted you in every single way possible. To drink you up like sweet honey dew juice. If he wasn’t so impatient he would’ve buried his face in between your legs, until you were cumming on his tongue. 

“Once or twice.” You lifted your hips as he slid your panties down your legs. He threw them to the side giving your hip a light kiss. “Maybe more than three times.” You gasped as he pushed two of his fingers inside of you. 

His eyes catching sight the other miniscule stick n poke tattoo he had given you after graduation. This time it was a beautiful cursive ‘y’ adorning the skin of your mound, the adrenaline along with the alcohol that was running through both of your veins that night, had numbed you out enough to have you lying still, giggling at his concentration instead of screaming out in pain. 

He moved his fingers, his cock aching to be freed from it’s constraints. He was so painfully hard, aching to be buried inside of you. “I think I told you more than that.” He curled his fingers, hitting the mushy spot inside of you making you gasp. 

“Yoongi, whatever, just please get inside of me before I kick you out.” You arched your back, lifting your hips as his fingers slowly teased you, opening you up for him. You hadn’t been fucked in such a long time. In fact, the last person you had sex with you was the one teasing you right now. 

He huffed rolling his eyes and took out his fingers. “Stop threatening me like that.” He said, bringing his fingers up to your mouth, painting your lips with your arousal. “It hurts my feelings.” 

“Then hurry up.” Your fingers reached over playing with the button of his pants, popping it open as you eyed him through lust filled hooded eyes, “We can play more another day, right now I need you inside of me before I die.” You pleaded. His eyes got wide, his mind ran faster than usual, making sure he had heard you right. 

Another time, you had said. He had heard you right. His hearing wasn’t as bad as he claims it to be, especially when it came to you and anything that leaves your mouth. He nodded and helped you push his pants along with his boxers down his legs. He kicked them away. A low moan escaped his lips when he felt your delicate hand wrap around his hard cock. Your thumb running over his red tip, spreading around the precum. 

“Do you have a condom?” He asked in a choked whisper as he tried his hardest not to cum in your hand. 

You shook your head no, a pout forming on your lips, “I don’t, I thought you would have one.” You kissed his chest lightly as you kept moving your hand around him. “I’m still on the pill though.” You pulled away and looked up at him giving him a knowing wink. 

He swallowed and pushed you softly, laying you down. “Honestly, I didn’t think this would ever happen again so I didn’t bring anything.” 

Your hand around him fell to your side as he climbed over you slowly. “Tell me if it hurts okay, I’ll stop.” He reassured before aligning himself up at your entrance. He ran the tip of his cock over your pussy gathering your essence before pushing himself in. 

“Y-Yoongi, oh my g-god, f-fuck.” You arched your back, digging your nails into the skin of his shoulders. You felt so deliciously good around him, your name falling out of his lips like a silent prayer. 

He buried his face into your neck, planting open mouthed down your neck, biting down lightly when he felt you clench around him. “Can I keep going?” He mumbled. “I need to feel all of you.” 

“Yes, please Yoongi please.” You gasped when you felt him bottoming out inside of you. The pleasure was mind numbing. Your pussy stretching over his cock after such a long time was otherworldly. 

His hands found yours and he intertwined your fingers with his, placing your arms above your head as he started thrusting into you slowly. His eyes burning into yours, refusing to let your gaze go.

Nothing was heard, except for skin slapping against skin. His low grunts combining with your loud moans as he fucked into you faster. The sound of your wet pussy motivating him to continue his ministries. Neither of you were sure how much time had passed, the only thing that mattered was the desperate chase of your highs. 

“Make me cum please.” You pleaded over and over again, as he pistoned his hips into you faster and harder. The knot forming against the pit of your stomach. You kept clenching around him and he knew you were close to the edge. He was too, he could feel the tightness of his balls as his thrusts became sloppy. 

“B-Baby, I’m close.” He bit down on your neck as you arched your back, your nipples brushing against his lightly. 

You dug your nails into his knuckles, raising your hips to meet his desperate thrusts. “Me too, I’m so close.” You gasped as he rolled his hips into yours. The change of rhythm had you screaming out in pleasure. 

He let go of one of your hands, not wasting a second in finding your swollen clit, rubbing fast circles against it with his thumb, “Gonna cum around me my angel, gonna let me paint your walls white.” He panted, his sweaty bangs falling over his eyes. He looked like a greek God, Adonis himself. 

“F-Fuck yes Yoongi, fuck I-I’m coming.” You choked out, the pressure at the pit of your stomach finally breaking. Your pussy fluttering around him, your orgasm taking over your body in pleasure filled spasms. 

Yoongi pushes into you harder, his thumb working against your clit as you ride out your high beneath him. Seeing you so fucked out was enough to tether over the edge, in a silent moan, his own orgasm taking over his body, painting your walls with his sticky substance, filling you up to the brink. “G-God, I love you.” He said after he had somewhat composed himself. 

You wrapped your arms around his waist, pulling him into your body. You didn’t want him to move yet, “I love you too Yoongi.” You whispered leaving innocent pecks against his jawline. He chuckled laying his head against your chest. You brushed his hair away from his face. Both of your chests heaving at the same time, as you tried to catch your breaths. 

“Was that okay?” He spoke after a long moment of silence. He rested his chin against your chest looking at you through worrisome eyes. “You don’t hate me anymore right?” 

“I never did.” You smiled, making his heart sore, “It was perfect, I missed you...a lot” You added kissing his nose. 

“I missed you too, maybe a little too much if I’m being honest. I really am sorry angel.” He cuddled into you further, feeling himself grow soft inside of you. You felt his arousal along with yours slide down your legs and you had to hold back from begging him to take you again and again. 

“I know just don’t do it again.” 

“I’d be actually crazy if I did.”

[homoose]

Weird is Good

Summary: A story about two people tryna make it through the age of COVID-19 in a country where people are fucking dumb lmao. My hc is that Spencer would be like wtf at all these science-denying anti-maskers. Also, two teachers just tryna make it through quarantine and remote teaching in a one bedroom apartment (this is taking place during a mandatory leave/lecture cycle).

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Category: fluff

Warnings/Includes: no warnings. reader is both a kindergarten teacher and a bruh girl with a pirate’s mouth. lots of Spencer x factz.

Word count: 3.1k

———

“We’re home for the next two weeks. ”

Spencer looked up from his desk to see Y/N kicking off her shoes, dropping her bag, and walking directly to the sink. “Starting when?”

“We get to go in on Monday to say goodbye to the kids and get any materials we might need. Then we’re home for two weeks. They’re calling it an early, extended spring break.” Y/N began her hand washing routine. As a kindergarten teacher, she’d always been a strict hand-washer. In the time of COVID, she had only become more zealous. She looked at Spencer. “Have you heard anything?”

“Since we’re so close to the end of the semester, the department head thinks they’ll try to finish out the year as normal.” He set down his pen. “I honestly don’t know. It will all depend on whether people follow the CDC guidelines. The spread of any virus is deducible mathematically, and SARS-COV2 is no different. Based on the outbreak in Italy prior to their lockdown, we can accurately describe its reproductive number, or Rt, to between 2.43 – 3.10.”

Y/N shut off the water and dried her hands on a paper towel. “In layman's terms, Dr. Reid.”

“The Rt tells how many people are infected by the contagious host,” he explained. “In the case of this strain, each infected person is infecting between two and three others. For comparison, the standard seasonal flu has an average Rt between 1.4 and 1.7.”

“So in other words, fucking yikes,” Y/N groaned. She moved to perch on the edge of Spencer’s desk.

“Indeed,” Spencer agreed. “We know how fast the flu can travel through an office or a classroom, so imagine if it was two times as transmissible. But it's also really important to understand that this number changes depending on the mitigations in place. Even prior to full lockdown, mask wearing and social distancing was somewhat common in Italy, so it’s likely the uncontrolled Rt is higher.”

“Jesus Christ.” Y/N scrubbed a hand over her face. “We’ll probably never go back.”

Spencer rubbed his hand up from her ankle to the inside of her knee. “The good news is there’s nothing special about this virus compared to others in terms of how it spreads— it’s just aerosols. So if everyone wears their mask, we’ll be able to keep the spread low.”

⧭⧭⧭

“It’s safe to say that everyone did not wear their fucking masks,” Y/N snapped. She watched from the couch as Mayor Bowser delivered the news that DC Public Schools would remain closed for the remainder of the year. “This is crazy. I mean, I knew it was coming because people in this country are absolute buffoons.” She looked at Spencer, fingers pressed to her temple. “But holy shit, are we ever going to be able to go outside again?”

“With schools and universities closed, people working remotely, and lockdown orders in place, the Rt in the US could stay low. But masks have to be worn at all times, and social distancing has to be strictly followed.” Spencer pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “I just— I can’t believe people are refusing to wear masks. The empirical, peer-reviewed data clearly shows—”

“This is ‘Murica, boy.” Y/N mocked. “Ain’t no tyrannical government gonna tell me what to do!” She rolled her eyes. “Trust me, your choice to abstain from social media is paying dividends to your sanity right now.”

Spencer looked truly dumbfounded, setting his newspaper down in his lap. “But that’s just it. It’s not just in social media circles.” He gestured to the article in front of him. “This economist just argued for ‘reopening’ the economy using the justification of herd immunity. Herd immunity can be a plausible option for less lethal diseases. But this virus is not like varicella—the chickenpox,” he clarified at Y/N’s raised eyebrow. He waved his hands around in exasperation. “Putting aside the fact that one facet of herd immunity is vaccinating as many people as possible, its success completely hinges on the Rt of a disease. If you model a population based on an Rt of 2.5, herd immunity wouldn’t be achieved until approximately sixty percent of the population has been infected. Consider that the US population is currently 328 million, and sixty percent of that is 196.8 million. The current mortality rate for SARS-COV2 is 3.06 percent. 196,800,000 multiplied by 0.0306 is 6,022,080. Over six million people would die. It's simple mathematics.”

Y/N let out an exasperated breath. “It used to be that simple math and facts were enough. Now you’ve got basement scientists who think they know better than actual, literal scientists who’ve spent their entire lives studying these things.” She ran a hand over her face and gestured at the news conference still playing. “How long do you think it’ll be before we’re both trying to teach from this tiny ass living room?”

⧭⧭⧭

“Goooooooood morning, kindergarten! It’s Friday, and no Friday is a bad Friday!” Spencer smiled. As he poured his first cup of coffee, he hummed along with Y/N and 23 six-year-olds as they sang their morning song. Observing fourteen days of remote kindergarten from across the living room had given Spencer a new appreciation for elementary school teachers, particularly Y/N. She sang, danced, conducted science experiments, held puppet shows, read stories, led art projects, and fielded questions for four hours a day— three hours less than when they were in the school building. He was exhausted by proxy.

But he was also grateful for the opportunity to watch Y/N in her element. Even though they were at home, she still got dressed every day in bright, patterned sweaters and dresses— her Ms. Frizzle attire, she’d told him once. She was able to channel her personality into a kid-friendly version that her students clearly adored, never afraid to be silly or strange to get their attention and keep them engaged during the long days. He worked from home whenever possible, strangely happy to have the background noise of kindergarten over his quiet university office.

...

“Okay, but where do I put the biiiiiiiiiiiig number?” Y/N made a wide gesture with her arms. “Ariah, where should I put it? In the big box, yes! But oh no, my small number needs a friend. My three is soooooo lonely!” Y/N drew her mouth into a pout. “DJ, how can I help my three not be so sad? You’re absolutely right, let’s put that two right next to him in our number bond.”

…

“I’ve been waitin’  for a girl to mute,” Y/N sang into the gold karaoke mic. “I said, muuuuuuuuuute, I’m blinded by loud sounds. No, I can’t hear the friend who’s tryin’ to talk.”

…

“Oh boy. Kev, honey, we can— we can see you. Kevin, Kevin, Kevin. We can see all of you. I can’t turn your camera off, buddy. You gotta— there we go.”

…

“Mute please, I need— I need everybody to mute, please. Oh my goodness where is that music coming from?” Y/N frantically searched for her index card with the picture of the mute icon, as the sounds of a highly inappropriate song blared through the computer speaker. “I know it’s so loud, guys. Why is my mute power gone?! This is why we need to make sure we keep our mute button on, kindergarten.”

…

“No sweetie, it’s not time to log off yet. I’m sorry, I know it’s such a long day. We have about an hour left. Do you guys wanna do a countdown? It’s the fin-al count-down! Do-do doo dooooo. Do-do-d-do-dooo…”

…

“Annnnnd, I should see all my friends on mute. William, hang on just a second. All my friends need to look at my picture, it’s an oval with a line through it… Okay, William, what did you bring to show us?” Y/N leaned toward the computer screen. “Grandma Kathy? O-oh, she’s— she’s in the—“ Y/N’s eyes widened. “Is that— is that an urn? Oh wow. Um, well, wow. It’s beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing that with us, William. Grandma Kathy, may she rest in peace.”

⧭⧭⧭

A week into Y/N teaching kindergarten from their living room, the university had announced its transition to online coursework for the remainder of the academic year. Spencer had to host his first zoom lecture, and he was absolutely dreading it.

“Spence, it’s going to be fine. It’s not like you’ve never been on a video conference,” Y/N assured him. She sat cross-legged on the couch, waiting for him to let her in to his practice zoom.

“Yeah, but I wasn’t running those meetings. I just showed up.” He squinted at the computer screen. “Are you in?”

Y/N barely resisted the urge to make a joke, knowing that Spencer probably wouldn’t appreciate the innuendo. “No, you have to admit me.”

“What do you mean? How do I do that?”

“There should be a box with a button that says admit.”

Spencer gestured at the computer. “Well there’s a bunch of boxes— which one should I be looking at?”

Y/N sighed and got up from the couch. “IQ of 187 and can’t find the box.”

Spencer dragged a hand through his hair. “I know I shouldn’t find this so difficult. I’m sorry you have to waste your time on this.”

“Hey, it was a joke.” Y/N grabbed his hand from where he was frustratedly pulling on his frazzled curls. “I’m sorry. That was mean and you’re already stressed enough.” She used her free hand to smooth his hair back into place. She scrunched her nose. “I love you and your limited technology skills. And honestly it’s kind of nice to have one thing I can actually teach you about.” She squeezed his hand, leaning over him to peer at his computer screen. “All right, let’s find that elusive admit button.”

When the day of his lecture rolled around, Spencer thanked all the atoms in the observable universe that Y/N had a break during his class. Within the first ten minutes, he’d managed to accidentally kick himself out of his own meeting and then somehow lose track of the screenshare button.

“No one can see me and I don’t know what happened to the screenshare option. It was there and now it’s just… gone,” he told Y/N.

She leaned over his desk, eyes tracking over the screen and mouse clicking around the desktop. “How in the world did you manage to block your camera?”

“I don’t know! I didn’t even touch it!” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “I don’t understand how it’s even possible to be this bad at this.”

Y/N bumped his knee with her own, pulling up his camera settings and preferences. “Relax. You can’t be good at everything. It’s a refreshing reminder that you’re a mere mortal like the rest of us.” With a few rapid clicks, Y/N unblocked his camera and located the screenshare bar. “There. Crisis averted. I’m just going to share your whole screen in case you want to toggle between application windows. So just be aware that they’ll be able to see everything. And then you just click here when you’re ready to stop sharing.”

When Y/N turned her head toward him to check that he understood, Spencer grabbed the side of her face and caught her lips in a kiss. Y/N smiled against his mouth, heart speeding up as he traced the seam of her mouth with his tongue.

“Um, Dr. Reid? Your um— your camera’s working now.”

Spencer nearly fell out of his chair, his cheeks about the color of the Leave Meeting icon. Y/N dropped her head, debating whether she wanted to laugh or let the earth open up and swallow her whole. She ultimately decided to compose herself, stepping back and giving a little wave to the sea of tiny, grinning zoom faces before slinking out of frame, miming sorry to one very mortified professor.

⧭⧭⧭

“Would you want to be our mystery reader next week?” Y/N asked, bookmarking the page of her novel and reclining back in bed. “You just have to pick a story to read. Oh, and think of four clues about your identity to give the kiddos.”

Spencer raised his eyebrow, continuing to read. “Any story?”

Y/N laughed. “Well they’re six, so maybe hold off on the Chaucer and Bradbury for now. A picture book would be preferable.”

“Did you know that the first picture book, Orbis Sensualium Pictus, or Visible World in Pictures, was published in 1658?” He looked up from his own book. “Czech educator John Amos Comenius wanted to create a book that would be accessible to children of all levels of ability. The educational theories he explored are actually still in practice in the field of early childhood education.” He turned toward her from his spot under the covers. “For example, when you have your students make a hissing sound and slither their arms when they produce the sound represented by the letter s? Comenius included an alphabet chart with various animal and human sounds representing each letter. He wanted to demonstrate that the incorporation of multiple senses could help increase learning.”

“I guess you don’t fix what isn’t broken,” Y/N mused. “300 years later, and we’re still using the same methods.”

“362, actually,” Spencer corrected.

She gave him a look. “Maybe we can save the Comenius for another time.”

“The genre of children’s literature encompasses some of the most profound and philosophical story telling of all time.” Spencer returned his attention to his reading.

“...So is that a yes?”

Spencer smiled. “I’ve got a book in mind.”

“And clues,” Y/N reminded him, snuggling down under the covers and reopening her book. “We need some fun clues, mystery reader.”

…

“Kindergarten, we have a very special mystery reader this week. Oh man, are you ready for the first clue? The mystery reader loves jell-o! Raise your little hand if you love jell-o, too. Okay, kindergarten, I see you! Lots of jell-o lovers in the house.”

…

“Okay, clue number two! Our mystery reader works as a community helper— remember we learned about all different kinds of community helpers; firefighters, nurses, police officers. But if the mystery reader could be anything, they’d want to be a cowboy! How cool is that?”

...

“Clue number three for our mystery reader!” Y/N sucked in a gasp. “You guys. The mystery reader can do magic. Oh my goodness, I am so excited for Friday,” she sing-songed. “Will they show us a trick? Hmmm, I don’t know. Maybe if you ask nicely.”

…

“Okay, my friends, the last clue. The mystery reader loves reading. They read every day, and they’ve been reading since 1983! Yes, that was a very long time ago.”

⧭⧭⧭

“Okay, any last guesses about who our mystery reader might be?” Y/N questioned.

“I think it’s your dad,” a little voice called out.

Spencer made a choking noise from where he sat, slightly off camera. Y/N laughed. “The mystery reader is decidedly not my dad, Keyshon. Remember I showed you guys the picture of him— my dad’s a farmer, so he’s kind of already a cowboy.” She clapped her hands together. “Okay, without further ado, drumroll please... Our mystery reader is…” Y/N pushed her desk chair out of frame to allow Spencer to roll in, holding her hands out. “Spencer!”

He gave a little wave, smoothing his hair, suddenly painfully self-aware and nervous about the opinions of two dozen six-year-olds. “Hi guys.”

“You’re the boy on Ms. Y/L/N’s phone.”

“Your hair is so fluffy!”

“Do you have a cowboy hat?”

“I like your sweater.”

“Can you really do magic?”

“What’s your favorite jell-o?”

“Whoa, okay, let’s remember our mute button,” Y/N, holding up her index card. “I promise you’ll get to ask Spencer all your questions after he reads the story.”

Spencer smiled at the excited faces beaming through the screen. “Yes, I’m on Ms. Y/L/N’s phone; I don’t own a cowboy hat, yet; yes, I really can do magic; and the red jell-o is my favorite.”

Y/N watched with interest as Spencer pulled out his book. He’d been secretive about his choice, so she was as curious as her students.

“This is one of my favorite stories. It’s written by Munro Leaf, and illustrated by Robert Lawson. It’s The Story of Ferdinand.” Spencer held the cover up to the camera. “Ferdinand is the bull here on the cover. This story was written in 1935, which was a long time ago! Okay are you ready?” Spencer looked out on a sea of thumbs up, turning the page to the beginning of the story. “Once upon a time in Spain, there was a bull, and his name was Ferdinand.”

Y/N smiled as she listened to Spencer read each page, recounting the story of the peaceful bull. He was an excellent storyteller, changing the inflection and expression of his voice to match each sentence. He held each page up for just the right amount of time, panning it so her students could see each detail of the black and white pictures. He added his own wonderings and exclamations here and there, and her students were decidedly enthralled. Her heart ached at how comfortable he was, how natural this was for him. She rested her chin in her hand, trying to keep her mind in the present— ignoring the persistent little mental image of Spencer as a dad.

“So they had to take Ferdinand home. And for all I know, he is sitting there still, under his favorite cork tree, smelling the flowers just quietly. He is very happy… And that’s The Story of Ferdinand.” Spencer closed the book with a soft smile. “I love this story. Ferdinand is a very special bull. What do you think makes him so special?”

“Ferdinand didn’t fight,” a little voice piped up.

“Yes!” Spencer agreed. “He practiced pacifism in the face of the persistent, ingrained militarism of his country’s culture.”

Y/N placed a hand on Spencer’s knee and gave a quick squeeze. “Right, Ferdinand chose not to fight, even though everybody else he knew wanted to.” Y/N winked at him before turning back to the screen full of kids. “All his friends thought he was kind of weird, but he just really wanted to hang out in the shade and smell the flowers, huh? Sounds pretty good to me.”

“He wasn’t bothered that the other bulls thought he was strange for wanting to be peaceful,” Spencer added. “Sometimes being different can be a good thing. The Story of Ferdinand reminds me that it’s okay to be yourself, even if other people think you’re weird.” His eyes met Y/N’s. “Because there will always be people who love and appreciate you for who you are.”

[theregoesmylurkerstatus]

So... I have a lot of thoughts on the finale. I've deliberately kept my mouth shut, more or less, on the campaign overall because I'm a firm believer that you can't pass judgement -- at least not complete judgement -- on stories until they're over and done with.

Well, it's done! Kind of crazy. I've been watching Critical Role with almost insane consistency, viewing almost every single episode live, with maybe five-ish exceptions, since episode 19, and I've been blogging it for, what, two and a half years?

It's a weird feeling. It's been such a constant thing for me that I'm always gonna have love for it and remember with a lot of fondness.

...Which is in spite of the fact that I can now comfortably say I'm pretty eh on the ending. I know not being positive about something most of us have loved a lot for a very long time can sting a bit, but I personally think it also stings when people relentlessly crow over how good they think it is or want it to be, to the point where you feel you can't voice your absolutely valid upsets or dissatisfactions. So, here goes, if anyone's interested! I'd be curious to see other opinions, too!

I actually drafted a post talking about my overall frustrations with the campaign a whole two weeks ago, and then scrapped most of it when 140 blew me out of the water. I was really touched, and really happy. I hadn't expected it, but it shockingly felt right, you know?

Unfortunately 141 robbed me of most of that satisfaction and brought me right back to neutral.

The blanket statement you have to make, of course, is that you can’t criticise this as a DnD game, and you can’t be mad at the cast for playing it in a way they think is best for them. They’re the players, Matt’s the DM, and in the end it makes no sense for them to try to make themselves act how they think the audience wants them to, and I’m sure most of the audience wouldn’t like the result anyway.

That said, there is an audience. And that’s where I see this clash coming in. As a DnD game, as long as the players and DM have all enjoyed it and been satisfied, it’s a successful game! But for us, it’s not a DnD game. For us, we’re watching a story be written in real time through the medium of an RPG. And while as a DnD game you can’t fault it, as a piece of media, I completely get why the way things have gone has sat weirdly for a lot of people.

It's not satisfying to see so many character hooks dealt with so quickly or left as an offscreen "and then you do it." If they don't want to keep playing to dive into it, absolutely, but for us who have been watching this as a story with all these character elements get so built up, it's a huge anti-climax.

Which is a lot of what this campaign has been, really.

Oh, Nott’s cursed! But through a really cool character moment that problem is completely taken care of with no consequences we see. Yay, I want her to be Veth and that was an iconic move from Jester! Still, it kind of feels like this was built up to be a big problem and at the first success it was let go... Caleb's got a really intense frightening past he tries to hide, I wonder how the Mighty Nein will respond? Oh, they found out, but it's not a difficult revelation for anyone. Looks like it's easy for them to move past it and forgive. Yeah, that's healthiest for the characters, but huh, kinda undercuts it as a storyline or point of interest. Oooh, Avantika’s back! Ah, they’ve killed her and grabbed the eye again. I mean I don’t want them to die or for Uk’otoa to be free, but I’m starting to feel like that’s not much of a threat anyway. The Traveler’s been kidnapped! Nah he hasn’t, he tried to save Jester so he was let go with no further issue, and also he wasn’t actually in any danger anyway. Oh... Cool. So... Why should I care or be worried?

And these are just the biggest ones I remember being kind of let down by. I wanted to see them STRUGGLE for the successes to have meaning. To my view, threats of failure -- real failure -- really decreased the more the campaign went on, with a few exceptions.

Because don't get me wrong, we've definitely had struggles, and those have made for some of the best moments! Molly’s death, Yasha’s kidnapping, Yeza’s imprisonment. When failures that were threatened are allowed to occur, it’s far more gratifying when it’s followed by success, because you understand that that success was actually necessary. It shows us that what they do really means something.

Honestly, that's why the final battle really shut me up, because nothing makes you quite feel stakes and failure like having two PCs die, and having a resurrection ritual fail -- AND knowing that failure would be delivered on, had it not been for a seemingly miraculous roll of the dice to turn it around. One of the greatest failure's -- Molly's death -- made the success of his resurrection put a lot of my other issues to rest immediately, because to be honest? Molly's resurrection was the biggest success of the campaign, exactly because it was originally the biggest failure.

But this episode, we got to see the other side of making threats and successes feel disappointing -- when you get the impression that success was robbed from you. Again, their characters, their choices, but to have them roll an intervention to get Molly's soul, to convince Molly to come back with his own possessions they've so loved, after so long and so many struggles... only to apparently not get Molly at all?

Changed, of course. Memories, maybe he'd never get them back, though that seems inconsistent to how the initial resurrection was played and Matt's hints. It even makes sense that not having his memories and being a bit different, he might forge a new identity, but insisting Molly was a different person entirely after such a supposed hard won success to get Molly back, especially after what his death meant to the audience and potentially healing that old wound? It robs the narrative of a LOT of catharsis, at least for me and I know many others.

Trent, too, I'm very up and down on. He was so built up -- and what fun that build up had -- and I very much disagreed with the idea that the best story would be dealing with him offscreen.

It's true that you don’t need to explicitly address, confront, or explore every big aspect of character's story hooks and background ties for PCs to move past them and grow healthily. But that does not make it a satisfying viewing experience. People quietly healing in real life is healthy. People quietly healing in an explosive fantasy setting is frustrating for the audience.

What on earth is the point of a story if you don’t get to SEE THE ESTABLISHED CONFLICTS go anywhere? A lot of the characters got distant, quiet resolutions, if that, to everything we wanted to see.

Except, we did get to see Trent. It was a really fun, inventive battle, from opening to conclusion, but much like Travelercon, much like Nott's/Veth's problem with the hag, these were things that the audience in general wanted to see be really dug into and explored, and every single one of them got, in my opinion, quickly tidied up instead. Trent got beaten in the first and only proper battle they had with him, which, after all his build up, is pretty disappointing for a villain many of us wanted to see be a big deal. It really just felt like they were trying to tidy up to get on with the epilogue, which is not what a lot of us were looking for with Trent especially.

And that's how most of their endings felt to me. It didn't feel like any of them had reached a comfortable conclusion. Literally all of them, bar Veth and Caduceus, continued on their character journey threads, without each other and very quickly. Meeting Yasha's tribe and Vandran, Caleb finally openly debating changing time for his parents, Trent and Zeenoth's trials and the changing of the guard at the Assembly... All were things it would have been so fun to have all the PCs react to and explore together, and instead they were fleeting encounters in the latter half of a seven hour finale.

Is all this, from Molly not really coming back to Trent being a finale side plot to the Nein continuing on their individual journeys, potentially realistic to how these fantastical things might go down in real life? Sure! But that's not necessarily a good thing.

Stories THRIVE on conflict and resolution. That’s what makes them FUN! Conflict isn’t nearly so fun in real life and resolutions are often frustrating question marks, so no, past a certain point I don’t WANT stories to be realistic. I want stories to be SATISFYING.

And campaign 2 has fallen far short of the mark.

I haven’t spoken... Basically a word of this for most of the campaign, because as I said I’m a firm believer that you can’t necessarily judge something until it’s over, and because I ALSO firmly believe that being negative WHILE trying to enjoy something is counterproductive. I have had no interest in spoiling or naysaying the fun of the campaign for anyone, least of all myself.

But it's done now, and all I can say is... I really have had fun. I love the characters. I love their relationships. I’m pretty okay with where they’ve ended up. I’m not mad, really, and I’m still going to think of this campaign with a lot of affection. But it hasn’t been a satisfying story, even though for a week following episode 140 I thought, despite all the brushed over story threads, it might be.

So... to try and reclaim some of that satisfaction for myself, I might ignore some aspects of the finale proper. Namely Kingsley specifically. Taliesin's choice -- but to me, it's pretty clear that who we saw at the end of 140 was Molly, and the tags on my posts will reflect that, just as my 141 tags will be for both Kingsley and Molly, for clarity's sake. I personally want to believe Molly did come back, however others might want to interpret it. The victory in 140 that meant so much to me is hollow otherwise, and it just kind of hurts that we would lose Molly after everything. I was okay with him being dead -- I'm not so okay with his resurrection being stolen.

Kingsley will always be canon, but Molly is what I choose to acknowledge. I get if you don't like that take, and that's okay! I didn't care for canon's in the end. That's the good thing about storytelling, is that no one can stop you from making your own versions.

For the people who are hopefully hyped for campaign 3, heck yeah have fun! I’m on the fence. My investment, which... I think I can objectively say was pretty substantive as this blog will attest, doesn't feel rewarded, so I’m not convinced I can faithfully keep up for over three years all over again with a strong possibility that I will once again be left disappointed. It's been a huge chunk of my life, and... yeah!

I’ll take a break, probably, view (and liveblog, if people want!) campaign 1 when I’ve had a mental stretch and vacation, and then... I might start campaign 3. I definitely won’t be able to put the same time in it I did campaign 2 (my first love no matter what), knowing that it’s likely to not be so vindicated, in the end.

I swear I’m actually writing this in fairly good humour, but I totally get its always disappointing when the people you come to for fandom enjoyment just aren't sharing your fun. Honestly I’m half tempted to write all those frigging AUs I have sitting around! But I wanted to say my piece, and try and logically outline why this ending has been lacklustre for so many people, ultimately myself included.

Episode 140 felt right because it felt like a natural conclusion -- these disparate people coming together and finally being whole, finally soothing the hurt that MADE them so long ago. Episode 141 spat on that sentiment -- they all scattered to the winds, not as happy people to live out their dreams, but as confused people chasing up loose threads towards an unknown future, with the friend they thought returned still lost to them, ultimately.

It doesn't feel like the ending we should have gotten for the Mighty Nine, who were finally, finally all together. Until they weren't. So to me? I choose to acknowledge that they were, even if I have to force it to happen post-epilogue in my head.