#this shit *is* davejade

[jawd]

do you see my vision

i hate how tumblr formats pictures this size so close ups under the cut

[weirdmageddon]

sorry for liking davejade in 2023 btw its in a cool way though

[dave-shit-kat]

WARNING: My opinions. This blog is entirely dedicated to hate that shit/p. You love Dave-Shit-Kat? Happy for you! Block and move on. You don't like that ship/t and disagree with my opinion or want to add something else? You're more than welcome!! [Nothing here is tagged dvkt and name is censored for a reason]

Why is BETA OT4 better than Dave-Shit-Kat

Long post

The real question is HOW can't you love Beta OT4!?

The main group — John, Dave, Rose and Jade — is one of the few friend groups in all medias that simply don't have conflicts between them, yet they feel extremely realistic and are much more entertaining than many other main friend groups in other medias.

All of them are rounded characters, all of them have many interactions, both platonically and romantically. Unfortunatelly, JadeRose is one duo that misses all of that, but passing them, every other duo (JohnDave, JohnRose, JohnJade, RoseDave, DaveJade) have clear romantic potential. Of course Karkat ships JohnRose and DaveJade, of course those ships are very popular in the fandom (except for JohnJade and JadeRose, rip), they have sO FUCKING MUCH CHEMISTRY!!

Let's unpack each duos (quickly hopefully).

* JOHNROSE / GRIMDORKS: One of Karkat's ships <3 They're the typical stereotype of the Funny Dork x Smart Goth, where John acts dumb and silly and still Rose plays along with him. I am always a bit sad everytime people forget how silly Rose is too, mostly around her friends (/lovers). I could even consider her a bit tomboy-ish, due her love for videogames and two of her best friends being guys (also, bisexual tomboys are a very common trope); this could be one reason why she doesn't interact much with Jade.

But, aside that, Rose and John have shown romantic interest between them. Maybe because of Karkat's ship chart, but surely the chemistry was there even before (let's not forget the scene where John was texting to Kanaya, pretending to be Rose, and telling how much "she (John as Rose) loves John".

* DAVEJOHN / PEPSICOLA: They're gay. Bros who forgot to say "no homo" after making out and ended up with a house and seven children and still call each other "bro".

There are way too many examples to make here; from Dave always wearing the sunglasses John gave him; to them always texting/saying "I love you" very confidently. Yes, it can be just bros being bros and being confident in doing so, but we can also agree that they'd definitely have "sex for besties" and "platonically marry each other."

* JOHNJADE / SNOOZY GOOFS: They have less interactions, and it's easier to see them platonically than romantically (that's why DaveRose is more popular, for example), but that doesn't mean they wouldn't be a good couple. They'd be the most chill and happy couple of all times; at most doing pranks everywhere and cuddle more than kissing.

They have heavy potential!

* DAVEROSE / SUNBURST: They were canon. IDK what else tell you. You want more reasons!? They're compatible, bickering like idiots with Rose rolling her eyes 24/7 everytime Dave starts with his long, long ironic monologues with dumb comparisons and jokes. But she matches his vibe, she can make those jokes too. Not counting that, in my opinion, Rose prefers to psychoanalyze Dave rather than John and Jade. Yes, at first Jade is a mysterious girl and Rose would love to understand what she knows better, but Dave's mind is another thing entirely, as it's about knowing someone's past better rather than knowing what they know.

* JADEROSE / GUNS N ROSES: Yup, they don't talk much, still they should be together! Another trope between The Rich Girl x The Country Girl; the Cat x Dog. It's all there!!! Also, as I said I consider Rose being more tomboy-ish a reason why she doesn't talk too much with Jade, who on the surfice level appears more feminine, but as we know Jade has a thing for guns, she loves videogames too, she's more a cool action girl. Rose would love that; but I guess the reason why she choose Kanaya and not Jade is because Kanaya is more on her same sophisticated level. And I guess that is also the reason why Rose talked to Jade much more on the first acts, when Jade knew more than the others and was more a mystery, than in the future acts.

But don't despair; they have a lot of potential as a good duo (no, you can't even think about HS2, delete that shit from your mind).

* DAVEJADE / SPACETIME: They were canon pt2; Karkat ships them pt2.

I will not count the disgusting shit of having them date and breakup out of camera that Act6 gave us. Instead, let's focus on why they work as a couple.

Dave, as showned, seems to have A Thing for every Egbert-Harley-Crocker (except Jake), and for every Strider-Lalonde (except Dirk), so it's already a point. Also, Dave and Jade are as confident in their affection as Dave and John are (LET'S NOT FORGET THE <3).

Jade is kind and funny and a good buddy like John, but with extra steps. While John inspires Dave to be better (at least before ShitAct6), Dave admires Jade, who considers more on his same level, if not even cooler.

On the Jade's part, I'd like to bring the GIF of the woman that says "he makes me laugh" or something. They're so cute together.

SUMMARY, WHY ARE THEY BETTER THAN DAVE-SHIT-KAT?: They have actual interactions between them, and many and good ones too. They're all from the same species, so they can't be racist towards each other. They act as friends, caring about each other so confidently that it borders soft and cute romantic attraction. I wouldn't be surprised at all if the trolls already considered them as moirails between one another, as they are supportive towards each other very openly.

DOWN POINTS: (NOTE: "down points" =/= Dave-Shit-Kat is better than them in this. "down points" = the defects of this ship) We don't see them interact ALL together, all four of them. And it's actually a defect that Homestuck has in general; who focuses mostly on two characters talking rather than many, even in crowded situations or groups (but I can understand that; it's hard with more characters).

Also, pairings like JohnJade and RoseJade have less material than the others, working more theoretically than actually.

Also also, humans here are disgusted by blood-related incest. So, John tells Karkat that he won't reproduce with Jade, and Dave(sprite) reacted seemingly like "oh shit" when told that Rose is his blood-related sister. But Dave is a special case either way, since he still called Roxy sexy.

[sayakxmi]

Adult Dave that I've also forgot to post ages ago, but I'm doing it now. It's kind of a shame, bc I have 5/6 of the DaveJade fam, but my Jade is sadly still in sketch form. Similarly to Feferi, he also has some color-coding of his quadrants - Jade is the most obvious, but his shoelaces are teal and cerulean, bc I kinda vibed with pale Daverezi and pale Davevris, so I figured out why not both, and I ended up liking it a lot. He's wearing this camera just for the aesthetics, he holds his actual, proffesional one in his sylladex. He's an archeologist in the same team with Aradia, and they internally lose it every time the artifact is something they left behind for kicks. Also he totally chets at cooking with his time powers.

[dersitedreamr]

Davesprite comforting her every time she tries to beat herself up over shit is so sweet. Takes a similar tone to his letter for john, and weirdly reminds me of when dirk told jake he was like “a bag of the nickel shit” when he beat himself up for being “dumb as a bag of penny candy”

This is what i mean btw about how dave isnt. Like some emotionally clueless bastard he can adjust himself emotionally to properly match whatever is going on and is pretty ok at choosing his words during moments like these

[bottlehawk]

jade/sollux or roxy/sollux... dealee's choice

jade and sollux is when you have a girlfriend on discord. roxy and sollux is when you have a girlfriend on discord but you're both mods.

[s-catspade]

see i’m above the law bc my superior mindset (which realistically i’m sure is not uncommon) is that while davekat are the endgame couple, johndave are the beginning. they’re the foundation of it all.

(there is hella ramble under this cut man. i’m getting emotional about pixelated boys again.)

so as we all know, we start the webcomic with dave already having a crush on john. maybe he doesn’t even know it yet, maybe he does, but ultimately john is dave’s first real life gay crush and dave is john’s too but his takes a while to form. yknow i hear a boat with only ur sister and nicholas cage for three years is a great way to end up pondering the homoerotic undertones of ur closest friendship.

i don’t know if they even actually date, i can see them being just like an unlabelled kinda experimental thing, hidden away in a corner on the meteor somewhere having this vulnerable moment together of soft touches and racing heartbeats and just getting to explore themselves and their feelings in the safety and security of each other, and they don’t really know what they are they’re just them, this is just how it was meant to be with them. it’s awkward and vulnerable and stupid and soft and dorky, but eventually just very natural and normal. still mostly behind closed doors but it’s not like no one can tell there’s something there lmao.

and eventually they decide they just wanna be friends again and there’s some grief and heartbreak but when they come out the other side of that they’re closer than ever. they’re more like moirails in my eyes but they don’t call it that bc be fr both of them would rather die than let karkat win. by this point everyone knows, no one cares ofc they’re in fucking space with grey aliens who has time for homophobia. probably eridan but he actually probably is the only one who doesn’t know. i can’t see him caring enough about them to notice.

then ofc when dave realises his feelings for karkat john is his shoulder to lean on dealing with that, and when john starts thinking about june dave wouldn’t breathe a word of it to anyone until she’s ready.

[insomniacjellyfish]

They're the only thing in my mind recently if any of you got good davejade shit ols send it to me

[meraki-sunset]

ur doc is literally nothing but shitty davejade overrated ass fanservice galore where all of the usesless boring ass side characters that nobody cares abt are brought back to life for no legit reason other than fanservice istg, and there’s also no legit way for sprites to even “””god tier””” anyway since they’re literally just made to be sprites for the players and not just some living person or whatever plus davepeta x Jade is better anyway since jade canonically kissed nepeta so yeah/neg

Sup dude, how’re you doing? I think you may have gotten the wrong idea.

I actually really love canon, I love the original story and if I had the chance to change it I wouldn’t. And I’m really looking forward to reading the rest of Homestuck2

I made this AU for fun. You know what fun is, right? Yeah, this is a corny AU where I make the ships I like happen, background characters are back to life and people talk their problems out instead of fighting that much, because I like writing dialog more than choreographing battles Because that’s the magic of AUs, you make shit that didn’t happen in canon happen in a different timeline. Because it’s justified kinda by happening in a different universe.

You can absolutely despise my comic, everybody have pieces of media they hate. But you should also touch some grass my guy, these characters aren’t real. I love them and I share my feelings through them, but at the end of the day, they’re pixels on a screen and words in a file.

Internet content isn’t everything. Take care.

[pxnky-prxmise]

📱💥 NICKELBARK | AVRIL thorpe x YIFFANY "YIFFY" LONGSTOCKING lalonde harley

i dont wanna tag any of my shit as this fanon "beyond canon" shit :/// IT CAN DIE FOR ALL I CARE!!!!!!! (EDIT. well shit) i only like it bc of 'Omega Kids' bless their hearts Ruby's uncles are trying their best. at least just karkat... karkat prob OOC yeah i didnt got this his act stuff YEAH IM A FAKIE WHAT R U GONNA DO!!!!!!!!! tiny davejade cuz yeah.

[nemushere]

god damn it hussie you have no idea how much great mental damge you did to davejade shippers from east asia via this scene.When I saw the red thread which represents dave tied to jade's finger(and the other end is a note he wrote to her) I'm like it's hella romantic and next second I realized my ship was sunk a long time ago then my heart is broken into a thousand of pieces.(shit epi I hate you)omg this bitter-sweet thing😭😊😭😊😭😊

[weirdmageddon]

💿⚛️ davejade headcanons

sorry for leaving you guys waiting on this for like a week lol i kept being like “tomorrow for sure” but falling asleep but anyway here it is. i might add more to this if i think if anything but reblogs might not reflect the up to date source version so you can always find it here

most of these are pointing out stuff thats basically canon anyway but whatever lol. basically canon headcanons

dave tries to impress jade to get her attention because he likes her

this ones for you *misses hoop by 5 feet*

he doesnt mind jade’s inane riddles honestly. he isn’t perturbed by how she just knows things like rose is, because he doesnt think into it too far. he trusts her

he spends a lot of time indulging in her interests and showers her in his music and poetry

they draw things for each other a lot <3 jade has the pictionary modus and seems pretty good at drawing and of course dave sent her sbahj as furries in the mail. sending jpegs over the internet is BABY NONSENSE. real boys send their childhood friend/crush pictures they drew for them through the INTERNATIONAL POSTAL SYSTEM to an unspecified island in the middle of nowhere, pacific ocean that gets packages dropped by plane so the recipient can tangibly hold it and hang it in their room

actually i was going through the commentary and hussie addresses it as such:

“Also notice her SBaHJ furry poster, which was clearly a very thoughtful gift from Dave”

aww

jade would give dave a "cool" plushie of a tiger or something nd he keeps it on his desk . froot’s beautiful idea

he loves her plushie sensibilities. so much less unnerving than his bro’s phallic puppets. they're still soft but no cognitive dissonance this time about the softness coming from foam puppet ass hoorayyy

theyre still reading homestuck on act 4 but they understood them instantly

jade humors dave’s ironic cool facade because it makes dave feel more comfortable without feeling too exposed, but it’s because of this that he feels like he can open up to her because she isnt prying. (im still not over the smile here btw. only jade could make dave smile after a fucked evening where he spilled juice on his turntables and accidentally skewered an innocent crow with his sword and broke his window this mf is TYPING. also getting a bit of joy out of the fact that the only visible suit on his cards-themed bedcover in this panel is a heart)

but he knows that jade is not unaware of what he's hiding. couldnt even refute her lol

from the knight’s perspective, it’s “i’m not as [blank] as i appear. i want you know that about me if i know you well and trust you, or i DON’T want you to know that about me if i DON’T know you well. the reason is that i want to know that i can trust you to avoid turning my insecurity into a Whole Thing”

basically she allows dave to take initiative when HE feels comfortable and confident in sharing the things he’s self-conscious about. this really helps him be comfortable and form a strong bond with her

dave would wrap his arms around her to “ironically” imitate a pair of tangle buddy squiddles (while actually concealing genuine affection basically unbeknownst to himself) but he winds up looking just a little too into it for just an “ironic” bit yall……

jade is slower to realize her deeper feelings since she shows love to everyone (so long as theyre deserving of it!!!) it just hits her one day that she actually Likes him in a special way, while for dave it is more dynamic and gradual but very on the downlow, expressed in creative acts and services

once dave actually recognizes he’s really caught feelings for her down the line, dave and jade happily do the tangle buddies hug all the time. its like their handshake. its their weird couple thing

these two when together as a unit they do not give a shit about what other people think of them

this shit lol:

Creative Fucking Powerhouse the two of them

davejade ass song to me

jade is quite spacey and super appreciates dave’s level-headedness and steady pragmatism while at the same time not being a rigid stick in the mud about it. for example when they were acting as each others’ server players dave was advising her but it was appreciated by jade

sorry its just literally socionics duality LITERALLY THIS IS THEMMM (also i spent WAY too much time making these graphics and integrating texts from multiple sources please appreciate it)

fittingly with that, as ouroborista writes about the opposite space-time aspect dichotomy,

Space and Time are the fundamental Aspect pair. Their job is to make shit take place. To create novelty. Between them they span not only all of existence but also the inseparable twin approaches of any creative project. Space goes for breadth, for ideas, for expansive, holistic input, while Time goes for needlepoint focus and a rapid-turnover ability to pull through on the prompt. There’s a reason why these are the two Aspects necessary for any successful session of SBURB.

jade is literally always having a little giggle about him. dave is a funny guy. lame court jester ass boyfriend

he’d draw his post-ironic fursona and show it to her with the usual deadpan expression on his face, eyes obscured by his shades. but jade will look at it and when he sees her smile and laugh it makes it all worth it. his cheeks feel warm and he’ll smile slightly like “heh heh”. dave the type to smile like an idiot over anything jade does like his mouth keeps making a thin line and hes trying to fight it but . Jade

dave thought jade looked absolutely stunning in her 3 in the morning dress his mouth probably stupidly hung open the tiniest amount seeing her after swapping into it

of course she only wears it for what she considers "very special occasions"…..spending time with dave seemed to be a very special occasion :)

jade think dave looks sharp in his suits!!

imagine jade adjusting daves crooked bowtie and lapel and his palms start to sweat and he darts his eyes from behind his shades and chews the inside of his cheek she making him nervous bro 💯

jade is definitely the teaser and dave is the teased. still i dont think jade teases dave as much as john and rose which is why he feels more comfortable opening up to her about his shit. her teasings are much lighter and inconsequential

despite how funny and informal he is dave is a classy well-put-together romantic. he is responsible and harmonious in how he choses to present himself. remember when he got secondhand embarrassment from rose when she was drunk before her date with kanaya and he suggested to her and kanaya that the two reschedule? … he’d NEVER do something like that. sober. suit is ON. hair is neatly combed. he is right on time, not too early not too late, and his first words are “yo whats up”

dave has this designated driver energy about him

after dogtiering jade’s dog ears can perk and flatten, adding even more expressiveness

jade has so many hobbies and interests i think she’d get dave into horticulture somehow unironically

theyre both the kinda mf to ask “would you still love me if i were a worm”

dave’s hands are warm

jade’s skin can be cool to the touch in some places like the back of her arms or shoulders and dave places his hands there to warm them. or by rubbing them or something

idk just some associations space is cool and time is warm to me. the vaccuum of space is cold and time is associated with gears which are associated with generating heat and dave’s classical element is fire and jade’s is earth and her planet is initially covered in snow and daves is covered in lava idk…. just makes symbolic sense i guess but its also cute in its own right

dave would love going to the beach with jade on earth c cause the ocean is so boob i mean boob i mean boob i m,ean boob i mean SHIT . blue. blue

this Fucking animation bro

she infodumps about science and he sits his ass down to listen

jade does this (excuse the fact that the url is roselalonde)

[garfields-nightmare]

any homestuck artist born after 2009 cant do shit all they know is eat hot chip davejade and lie

[davekat-sucks]

The crazy thing about the post mentioning the davepetajade kiss is that Dog Jade used to be Jadesprite, who was very much curled in on herself over being a resurrected "Other Jade" and yet started turning the "Other Dave" shit on Davesprite as of Yellow Yard, and Davepeta STILL had it in themselves to forgive Dog Jade enough to kiss her. (also boy howdy did jade destroy the notion of endgame ships in Candy, i'm still mad at that one)

So yeah Davepeta x Jadesprite aka crowcatdog aka CDC aka magical furries is better than Davekat, bonus points if you already like Davejade as a "they deserve each other" ship.

Davepetasprite^2 x Jadesprite aka Crowcatdog aka CDC aka Magical Furries is better than Davekat.

[charmikarma]

hallo it's me. (crookedgrifter) I'm back and I want your davejade / davejadekat thoughts. gimme

my thoughts huh ... i sure am a rambler so you're gonna get a whole essay on this

i guess in thinking abt davejadekat it always starts with jade. which is well enough because davekat has been talked to death at this point, hasn't it? i don't think i could tell you anything new or interesting about that dynamic at this point.

ANYWAY. jade. i kind of get into this in my polar express fic which ik you've read, but she is SO lonely. what the fuck are you supposed to do for ~10 years alone on an island with just a dog?? a dog who could take you somewhere else, somewhere with people, but he won't. and maybe jade knows why because of her dreams on prospit, but also maybe not! either way i think she puts a lot of faith in her dreams. it's kind of the only hope she has for the future.

i think she also has some hope in dave, this really cool dude she has this awkward internet middle school crush on. and dave is super cool to her too! i think it's implied he furry roleplays with her even?? cutest shit ever. i think this is the thing that has made me always love davejade ... they are just. so sweet to each other. dave clearly cares SO much about her.

the other thing about jade is... she's kinda fucked over repeatedly by the narrative, isn't she? she's the last beta kid introduced, so she has a lot less time to develop. the closest she really gets to developing is being really pissed off at karkat after her dreamself dies (i'll talk about this in a sec). her arc basically ends at cascade. her character arc ends in the dead middle of the comic, in a flash animation that contains exactly 0 character development. hussie says so himself in the author's notes. (don't even get me started on the author's notes jesus christ.) everything that happens on the boat is pretty much irrelevant, because it gets retconned out. instead she spends 3 years completely fucking alone, and we like... barely unpack this in canon.

so her life story up until this point is basically: raised by grandpa till ~3-5ish > living on her own till 13 > meeting dave briefly in the game > DAVE FUCKING DIES IN FRONT OF HER, WITH HER OWN BULLETS > she meets john briefly > JOHN AND DAVESPRITE FUCKING DIE > she spends 3 years alone with no solace except "yeah they had to die but you'll see them again in the new session" from alt!calliope and i guess a bunch of sprites and consorts and chess dudes. she says it herself: as nice as it is to have these folks around, they're not able to relate to her. they're not fellow thirteen year old kids. she may not be technically alone, but she is essentially alone, and she just 1. died twice in one day and 2. witnessed the deaths of several of her friends.

more on being fucked over by the narrative - jade actually has a kind of interesting dynamic with karkat in the middle of a5a2! what happens with this dynamic later on? fucking nothing!!!! like seriously i am so interested in this whole. self-hatred parallel that gets drawn between them and then how jade puts her foot down and is like you are fucking nuts. no more yelling at yourself. and it goes nowhere!! this dynamic exists for like, maybe 1% of the comic. it's really fucking sad honestly. even at the very end of homestuck, she has to be sidelined for being too powerful, thereby excluding her from all the endgame convos. like we cannot win with her

ok anyway, here's where i get into the stuff i think is really interesting. at the end of homestuck, alt!calliope tells jade that she's suffered enough, and that it's time for her to live her life how she wants to. we don't see how this plays out in homestuck proper, BUT...... the epilogues. sighs heavily.

i may be an epilogues lover but even i have to admit that jade's portrayal is.... a mess. i don't think it's wildly out of character, exactly, but it definitely toes the line... and it's definitely extremely fucking uncomfortable. it does, however, give me some insight into how i think about jade now, because while the minutiae don't really feel in character, i do think the broad strokes of what they were going for make sense.

jade took alt!calliope's words and said, fuck it. i will take charge! i won't wait anymore! i am going to have what i want. and she does get a lot of that! she gets to hang out with her friends, hang out with her brother, meet a ton of people, have a bunch of sex (presumably when she's older), and so on. but see... doing a lot of things doesn't really fill the emptiness she feels. she has so much love to give and not enough outlet for it. she needs all the love in the world and has nobody to give it to her. and she still has this big fat ten-year-old crush on dave strider that never went anywhere. but the approach she takes to life now is just... so incompatible with what dave needs. same for karkat. they both need a LOT of patience to come out of their shells, and jade is living life in the fast lane. the more she pushes, the more withdrawn they become. it is a disaster.

i want to fix it so fucking bad.

jade needs a lot of character development for all this to work, but the dynamic is absolutely there. some of their convos in early meat are so fucking funny dude, they are such good friends. it is absolutely not for lack of caring on either dave or karkat's part that things don't work out in the epilogues. it's this disconnect between what jade thinks is helpful and what dave and karkat need. i really want jade to find the balance between living at breakneck speed and waiting ten years for something to happen. i want her to feel loved for once in her damn life. and i want dave and karkat to stop being such depressing shut-ins. please guys you could balance each other out if you would just figure out how to communicate

anyway. there's your essay. it's mostly about jade. hope that's ok. i love jade harley so much my ultimate goal is to see her happy and mark my words i will figure out how

[borzoilover69]

11 [least fav kid), 19 [BROTP] and 27[fave antag] for hs asks?

Least Fave kid has got to be dave strider if i had the opportunity to meet him it would be at some club and we would stand around and he'd start going off and i'd think to myself "what the fuck is wrong with him". My BROTP has got to be.. davejade or johnkat? To be honest I don't think of many ships other than dirkjake. Here.. *slides you this*. They just have a nice thing going with them. Fave antag is DEFINITELY aranea she had some shit going down with her so fucking cool. I need to draw her at some point. Her impact was insane on the narrative and honestly im a bit put out it was all retconned she has something going with her.