#this semester or next maybe I'll try something new but for now i just want to go with the flow and have fun for now

[ame-to-ame]

My friends are so nice to me??? I love them???

[xdjville]

nct dream's voicemails

pairing: nct dream x gn!reader

genre: really all of them are different genres so idk buckle up; angst, established relationship (mark); comfort, established relationship (renjun); friends who have a thing going on and the dreamies are menaces (jeno); classmates, acquaintances but you're kinda cute (haechan); sick reader, fluff, established relationship (jaemin); basketball player and his "friend", bonus: he's drunk (chenle); idol x non idol, established relationship, kind of angsty if you squint but not really (jisung)

cw: cursing in mark's and jeno's, chenle's under the influence and he calls reader "pretty"

#mark

"i'm sorry. look, i... i know you probably don't want to talk to me right now, i get it. i shouldn't have said any of that and i'm so fucking sorry. i hate what i did and i have no excuse for being an asshole to you, but it's been almost two hours since you left and honestly i'm so worried i'm losing my mind. you don't have to come back yet, or call me back if you don't want to, but please, for the love of god, just let me know you're somewhere safe. shit, i'm so, so sorry. let's talk when you're ready, okay? i'll sleep on the couch tonight, so if you come back you can take the bedroom. i'm sorry. i love you."

#renjun

"hi, y/n. i'm sorry for calling so late, but, uh, i wanted to check up on you, you seemed a bit off today. maybe i'm imagining things, i don't know, but i couldn't stop thinking about it so i still wanted to ask. you don't have to tell me now, we can talk about it whenever you're comfortable, or not at all if you don't want to. just know i'm here for you, okay? it's normal to have worse days, so i'll try not to worry too much. i hope you'll feel better when you wake up in the morning. call me tomorrow, hm? we can go to that new ice cream place you told me about. sleep well, love you."

#jeno

"jesus, can you guys shut the fuck up– hey, uh, sorry for that, it's jeno. um, i'm calling because we're going to get some drinks at the bar down the street later tonight, and i– we were wondering if you maybe wanna tag along? we thought it could be fun hanging out outside of class since the semester is almost over. it's fine if you're busy though, no pressure. we're going out around, uh, nine, i think? so if you're up, call me back and i'll give you the details, yeah? alright, that's all, talk to you later. seriously, you guys are such fucking–"

#haechan

"uhm... hi, it's donghyuck. you probably didn't pick up since you don't have my number, but, uh, i called tell you that you left your sunglasses at the library yesterday. i asked mark for your number because we won't see each other untill chem next week and i thought you might need them, so... if you'd like to get them back just let me know? we could meet at the library again, or at get a coffee... or something. or i can give them to you in chem. whatever works for you! i don't mind either. just, uh, just let me know, okay? bye."

#jaemin

"hi, baby. how are you holding up? you must be sleeping, that's good. you need a lot of rest, hm? i hope by the time you're listening to this you will be feeling a little better. did your fever go down yet? there's food from my mom that i left in your fridge, you should eat that, i'm sure it's going to set you up. remember to stay hydrated too, yeah? i'll drop by with some groceries tonight, so let me know if you want anything specific. now rest well, love, i'll see you later."

#chenle

"y/n... you told me to call you when i get home, so why didn't... why aren't you pickin' up? well i– i'm home now, and, uh... renjun drove me there, so don't worry. anyways... i wanted t'say thank you, for coming to the game today. i honestly think we won only because you were there. you looked like... really, really... pretty. like... super pretty. when you, uh, hugged me after the match, i almost kissed you, you know? you're like my lucky charm... yeah, my lucky charm. i wanted to kiss you really bad. i wish you were here now so i could kiss you. can you come over tomorrow? mhm, 'm gonna go to bed now. bye, y/n–"

#jisung

"hey, how are you doing? it must be the middle of the night for you, you're probably asleep. i hope i didn't wake you up, i'm sorry if i did... i called you because i wanted to hear your voice. i, uh... i miss you, a lot. we had a day to ourselves to explore a bit, it was fun! it really was. but the whole time i couldn't stop thinking about how much more fun it would be with you there. i didn't want to kill the mood for the others, but i couldn't help missing you more today. did you miss me more, too? maybe it's like a soulmate thing... god, i sound so cheesy right now. anyways, the guys said they miss you too. chenle said we should all get hotpot together when we're done with the tour. sounds nice, right? oh, this voicemail is getting long... let's talk when you wake up, i'll call you after the concert. i lo– i miss you. sleep tight."

#taglist ➼♡ @bambisnc @suzayaaa

©xdjville

[undead-supernova]

Bullshit! / Masterlist / 18+

part 1 / part 3

Playlist

pairing: Eddie Munson x fem!reader

plot: eddie runs into you unexpectedly and you think it's time to have that date a little early

contains: eddie lacking confidence, confident!reader, get to know Eddie and the reader a little better, making out, kids this is a bit more than pg-13 I'll tell you that much without spoiling it

note: sorry guys, I'm not done with this. maybe far from it. they have a dynamic unlike any other and I'm here for it.

wc: 4k

The library was maybe the last place Eddie wanted to be at one in the afternoon on a Tuesday. It was always overcrowded, riddled with students running around with coffee from the adjoining Starbucks. 

But Eddie needed a new book, having told himself that rereading The Hobbit the third time this semester was…unnecessary. Plus, his English professor told him that “we can only enact change ourselves.” 

Maybe it was a sign. Because as Eddie passed the large glass windows, he saw you sitting at one of the booths.

You looked different from every Saturday night. No makeup, hardly any jewelry except for a thin gold necklace and several rings. An oversized sweatshirt and, from his vantage point, you were wearing a pleated skirt. He even noticed that your high-top Converse were placed next to you, mismatched patterned socks adorning your feet. 

And, fuck, Eddie couldn’t help the excitement rising inside him. It should’ve embarrassed him when he started jogging towards the front door, but he couldn’t find it in him to care. All he could think about was the sound of your voice and your eyes and your touch and your kiss.

He slowed his pace as he walked past the printers and computers and found your head down in some textbook, blissfully unaware.

“Working hard or hardly working?” he asked.

And when you looked up and smiled, he could’ve sworn his heart swelled and burst like a goddamn balloon.

“Oh my gosh, hi!” you exclaimed, jumping up to give him a hug. “What the fuck are you doing here!”

It was only for a few seconds, but he couldn’t resist breathing in your intoxicating perfume and memorizing the feel of you. The curve of your back, the soft fabric of your sweatshirt scratching against his calloused fingertips.

And as you sat back down, he realized quickly why your mere touch was so alluring. It was a reminder that Saturday had been real and, on this grueling Tuesday, you still cared about his existence. You still noticed him.

“I was coming to look for something new to read,” he answered, trying to figure out what to do with his hands and failing. “What about you?”

Eddie couldn’t decipher your now raised eyebrow, watching as you lifted your pointer finger. “Sit down,” you nearly demanded, eyes flickering from him to the booth. His heart hammered in his chest as he complied, eyeing your finger following his movements. 

It was despicable how easy it was for you to get him to do whatever you wanted. Even just fucking sitting down. But he loved it. Every. Fucking. Second.

“I was in the stacks looking at the archives,” you explained. “But everyone in my class took them already.” You sighed, rolling your eyes. “Such bitches.”

“How rude,” Eddie said, all teasing with an amused smile.

He could tell you liked it, biting your lip slightly before playing along. “I know, it’s offensive.”

There was something he noticed in your expression, placing your lip back between your teeth as you scanned him up and down. Eddie was unable to keep a smile off his face, overwhelmed by the attention you gave him. Like he was a meal, but something to be savored rather than merely devoured.

He couldn’t help it when he returned the sentiment, glancing down at your skirt that was riding further and further up your thighs. It wasn’t the time to think about you like that, spread wide for him as he got on all fours. Having you barking commands at him to do it properly, rewarding him with endless praise once you deemed it good enough.

Your thighs parted just a bit more, head tilting to the side as you gave him a smirk. As if you knew exactly where his thoughts were and wanted him to keep going. And, wow, were you two really just eye-fucking each other in the library?

“Want some coffee?” he asked, trying to distract himself. Practically flinching, pulling himself back from the table. “I was gonna head to Starbucks afterwards.”

The sexual tension broke at the question and he watched as you fiddled with your pen. But you didn’t flounder like he did. He wondered if you ever could. 

“Yeah, I’d love to. I have to finish something up but—”

“Oh, I’ll go by myself,” he offered.

“You sure?” you asked, clearly surprised.

“Yeah, no biggie,” he assured you, standing up.

Expression turning a bit sheepish, you said, “I will warn you… My order is complicated.”

He shrugged. “Hit me.”

And the order wasn’t complicated, per se. Eddie just wanted to know how the hell had you come up with a “dirty iced chai with oat milk and two pumps of cinnamon dolce”. Regardless, Eddie tucked that into his Notes app for later. If there was a later.

After grabbing himself a large black coffee and the concoction you'd asked for, he made his way back over to you. Rounding the corner, he noticed the way you moved back and forth between a book and your laptop, sighing and mumbling something to yourself. But as if you could sense him, you turned and watched him approach, a smile appearing on your lips.

“Oh, a Venti, huh?” you teased, making grabbing motions at him anyways.

He shrugged, sitting back down. “You deserve it.”

“You know what? You’re right.” You took it from his hand, taking a long sip. “I hate Starbucks coffee,” you said, licking your lips. “It’s awful. But this is the best thing on the menu, so thank you.”

“Yeah, of course.” Eddie hoped you couldn’t see him blush. "I hate it, too. It's just the only thing we got." 

“God, I know. Also, I can Venmo you or—"

“Absolutely not,” he interrupted, waving you away. 

“Okay,” you conceded, not bothering to argue further. Just took another sip and sat back. Glanced out the window before back at him. “Wanna go on that date today?”

“Today?” he asked, nearly gobsmacked.

Nervousness ran along his limbs, not fully prepared to be with you. Alone. Just the two of you. It’d taken him hours to go to bed after dropping you off the other night. Any time he thought he was done masturbating, it just came with another round. Like a goddamn creep.

“Why not?”

“Aren’t you doing research?” he asked, feeling his face grow hot.

And if you noticed, you didn’t say anything about it.

“Oh my god, I would rather die than look at this shit any longer. I’ve been here since eight.” You paused before throwing a hand over your face. “Unless you’re busy. Sorry I didn’t ask first.”

“No, no. I’m free,” he lied, deciding at that moment to skip his class. He’d catch up on Algebra with his tutor—it’s not like he paid attention anyways. That damn tutor was the only reason he understood a fraction of it. Pun absolutely intended. 

And he swore you nearly jumped up, grabbing your shoes and shoving them on before packing up your backpack, the weight of it starting to look daunting. Book after book, plus your laptop and pencil case and…

Without thought, Eddie grabbed it for you, slinging it over his shoulder. Fuck, it was heavy. “Here, I got it.”

You stared up at him, clearly shocked. “Oh, you sure?”

But Eddie gave you a smile and gestured towards the window with his head. “Yeah, come on. I’ll drive.”

By all accounts, Eddie was actually…sweet. It was nearly sickening how sweet he could be, carrying your backpack for you and opening the car door (despite it being a stalker van). Asking what music you liked to listen to—everything, was the answer. And you didn’t just like every genre, you loved it— Fiddling with the air conditioning and telling you to change it if you get too hot or too cold. Asking if his music was too loud, asking how you were doing now, away from your books.

You were starting to find him ridiculously intriguing, unsure how to take his kindness. It wasn’t a bad thing by any means. You just…weren’t used to a man being so considerate of your feelings. 

It wasn’t like you didn’t think you deserved it—that was obvious every time a man got a little too close for comfort and you had to humiliate them. 

But there was just something that felt new about Eddie. When he’d approached you at the party, you sized him up like every other guy shooting their shot. But he caught your eye immediately when he stumbled over his words. And when a jolt seized your veins at that first touch on his arm, you knew you were hooked. 

You’d gone to bed that night with a smile on your face, softly licking along your lips to savor the lingering taste of Eddie’s mouth. It was tinged with beer, something you used to hate. Something you now loved, thoughts echoing one word:

New.

Eddie helped you out of the car once he’d parked, even insisting that you let him get it for you. It made you feel quite warm in the face, surprised by his assertion. Made you feel like a lady, something you hadn’t ever felt at the hands of a man.

As you moved through the museum, you were quiet, whispering now and then about certain art styles and their importance during their corresponding time periods. And you were glad that Eddie wasn’t a douchebag about noise level inside a museum.

He never interrupted, never poked fun at your intelligence. He’d even asked more questions, all hushed and contained, some even you didn’t know the answer to. Pocketing them for later to ask your professors. 

But Eddie rarely gave up any information about himself, leaving you to tap his foot with yours and ask him questions. Every time, his face got hot and he murmured responses with a shrug, as if he didn’t think it was anything special. 

How was it not? He was still undecided, having dreams of working on video games and helping direct the narratives in new and innovative ways to engage with the player more. You didn’t know much about video games, but you still listened. Still gave him the attention he’d given you. It wasn’t even hard—he was so animated once he got into something he was passionate about. It was endearing, actually.

You ended up sitting down on one of the benches together, staring at an abstract painting by an artist you’d never heard of. 

“Do you like abstract?” you asked him, whispering despite the empty room.

Eddie shrugged, eyes trained on the swirling colors. “I think so? I mean, it’s cool to look at. I just don’t really know what I’m looking for. Or what I’m looking at, for that matter.”

That brought a smile to your face. His statement wasn’t judgmental or dismissive. It was…pensive. Contemplative. 

“I think of it like music,” you said. “The different colors and movements are like different instruments. They’re all separate but they come together to make something magical.”

For emphasis, you leaned in closer to him, your face and shoulder fully pressed against him. Raised your arm to point at the sharp flicks of red hurling towards the top right of the canvas. You could’ve sworn you heard Eddie suck in a breath, having to suppress a smirk at the effect you had over him. 

“That’s like a trumpet, bright and loud. Furious in nature but soaring off the page.” Then you pointed toward the royal blue splatters, more round than some of the other scattered pigments. “And this is like, oh, I don’t know. I guess, a trombone. Low and sultry. Rounded. Keeping everything together.”

Eddie turned his head, your noses nearly touching. You couldn’t help the shiver running down your neck at the tickling sensation you got from his hair. A smile you hadn’t seen before enveloped his face as you made eye contact.

“So, you’re saying it’s like jazz.”

A breathy laugh left your lips, finding yourself intimidated by his pointed gaze. By the way you could study the rich brown in his eyes, all bright and energized despite his calm demeanor. The stubble rising from his pores, all scratchy and wicked. 

“Well, uh,” you murmured, surprised by your inability to form words. “It doesn’t have to be, but, um, I guess this one made me think of jazz. The way it kinda…” your voice trailed off as he seemingly leaned in further, his scent like smoke fogging your senses. “It’s not so rigid. It’s improv. It’s, um…”

“Varied?” he offered, his smile growing. “Unique?”

You nodded. “Yeah.”

Eddie let out a hum. “I think I get it now.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. It’s beautiful.”

For once, you had to look away, back at the painting to try and control your breathing. There were flashes of things you wanted to do, both tender and wildly too inappropriate for the setting. Things you wanted beyond physicality, beyond the limits you’d always set for yourself.

And as if he could hear the pounding of your heart, his fingertips touched yours. Slowly weaved his fingers through the spaces left open. Took a piece of your heart with him.

Eddie might not be exactly forward with his actions, but he knew what he wanted. All you could do was squeeze his hand and hope that one day you’d get to see him in full bloom. 

“Why do you do that thing?” you asked.

Eddie glanced over at you, one hand on the steering wheel. The other fiddled with a hole in his pants, needing something to grasp onto. His heart rate just started to slow down, giving him a chance to breathe. 

There was just something about you that drove him mad.

“What thing?”

“Act like you’re not interesting.”

Sheepishly, Eddie shrugged. “I mean, I don’t know. I guess it’s ‘cause you’re way more interesting than me.”

“Bullshit,” you said sternly, a scoff leaving your lips.

“What!” he exclaimed, looking over at you again. “It’s true.”

You shook your head, crossing your arms over your chest. “You highly underestimate yourself.”

Eddie snorted. “I’m a stereotype.”

“Bullshit,” you repeated, starting to sound genuinely frustrated. “Who the hell told you that?”

He didn’t know where to start. 

Being a loser wasn’t a big deal for him in high school. Grew up with his father’s reputation preceding him. Got through it the best he could with some awesome friends along the way. Finally graduated high school and raised his GPA enough to come here. It was simple. In his mind, he was simple.

But spending the latter half of summer, the one he dared never to speak of, without his friends and then coming here without anyone else… Well, he struggled to find anyone willing to be his friend. He tried. Really, he did. But it never came to fruition.

And what was more embarrassing than joining a D&D club before being told he didn’t belong within the first hour? Him, the DM of Hawkins, hell, Indiana, being told he didn’t belong. That he didn’t play right. That he just didn’t fit.

He spent so much time alone. It was starting to make him miss Hawkins, the nostalgia starting to kick in. Hawkins, the place he loathed. The place he wanted nothing to do with. 

He was a nineteen-year-old Freshman with no friends and an undecided future.  

His silence must’ve lasted longer than he thought because you pointed at the nearly empty Walmart parking lot and asked, “Actually, would you pull in for a sec?”

“Yeah, of course,” he responded, heading towards the very back row, far from any remaining cars. Giving the two of you privacy just in case you started to yell at him for being a loser or something. He didn’t know. You were just so unpredictable.

But once he parked, you were unbuckling your seatbelt and grabbing his chin. Squished the bottom of his cheeks in one hand as you pulled his face closer to yours. He must’ve stopped breathing, hands slipping from the steering wheel.

“You better start listening to me, Eddie,” you breathed, all low and sensual, moving your lips to barely graze his bottom lip. “I really don’t like you talking about yourself like that.”

Eddie could feel sweat collecting beneath his bangs as you continued your torture, raking your fingernails down his throat before wrapping your hand around it. He gasped, earning a small smile out of you.

“I don’t waste my time with boring people, as conceited as that sounds,” you continued, the left corner of your mouth lifting. Eyes flickering between his eyes and his lips, eyelashes fluttering with each micromovement. “But I never claimed to be the nicest person, did I?” Eddie still wouldn’t speak. He didn’t know if he could without moaning. “You’re one of the most interesting people I’ve met. And the nicest, which is probably more than I deserve. You’ve seen the way I treat other men.”

“They deserved it,” he whispered, feeling his cock twitch when your grip tightened. “Every one of them.”

“Yeah, they did,” you replied, raising the pitch of your voice. Like you were taunting him. “But you’re different, aren’t you?”

“I-I am?”

“You’re sweet,” you breathed, giving slow kisses to his cheeks. Giggling when you noticed the blood rushing into them so rapidly. “And you’re a real nice guy, you know that?”

“I, uh, I try to be,” he stumbled as you moved your lips past his jaw and against his ear. Went limp at the feeling of you biting the lobe, fanning your breath over it.

“You do such an excellent job,” you whispered. “So nice and kind and funny. You really get me going, Eddie. I didn’t think I’d be so affected by you.”

When you pulled back to face him, you chuckled. He couldn’t blame you. His eyes must’ve been popping out of his head, mouth agape at your pretty words. What was even more fucked up was how genuine you sounded, like you weren’t just saying these things to say them. You meant it.

“I thought about you a lot this weekend,” you said breathily, removing your hand from his neck to start coiling his hair around your finger.

“Me?”

“You,” you said with a nod.

He licked his lips. “W-what about me?”

“About how interesting you are. And not to get too vulgar,” you said with a giggle, all teasing and devilish. “But I couldn’t help but think about taking your cock down my throat.” Another giggle as you tapped your fingers along his collarbone. “Thought about what it looks like, if it’s half as pretty as you.”

Eddie couldn’t stop the way his cock strained against his jeans, the neverending praise overwhelming him. “T-thank you,” he responded, unable to suppress the whine that he’d tried to contain when your other hand began palming him over his jeans. 

“You, um,” he tried to continue, taking a deep breath through his nose to keep his composure. “I-if you want, you can. Anytime. Any time.” 

“It’d be so easy like this, you know,” you nearly purred. “To ride you, to leave you a blubbering mess and thanking me for taking care of you. I think you’d really, really like that.”

“You’re killing me, sweetheart,” he groaned, fingers now reaching out to white-knuckle the steering wheel. 

“Am I wrong?”

A tiny scoff left his lips as you nearly massaged his cock, knowing that if you didn’t stop soon, he was going to burst. “You already know the answer to that.”

“I want to hear it, Eddie.” You nipped his neck, causing him to jump a little. But you wouldn’t stop, whispering filthy words as you continued to mark him. “I want to hear you tell me how good it would feel for me to suck you dry.” He continued to nod, each word sending him further into the deep end. “Before getting you hard again, just ‘cause I can, and getting on top so I can milk you with my pussy.” He moaned at your vulgarity. “Which is dripping, by the way.”

Without any warning, Eddie was cumming, an explosive rush that had him twitching and jerking. Panting and dry mouthed. You didn’t remove your hand, merely chuckling and rubbing him through his jeans until he was able to breathe normally again.

Before Eddie could get the chance to apologize for his behavior, you were pulling him in with an agonizingly slow kiss, your fingers damp from the cum seeping through his jeans. 

You tugged at his lower lip with your teeth before letting out a hum. Gazed up into his puppy dog eyes and said, “Good boy.”

After a few moments of Eddie being able to think clearly again, you found your eyes wandering around his console before settling on a pack of cigarettes. 

“You smoke?” you asked, plucking them from the cupholder and shaking the box in front of his face.

He nodded, seemingly quiet despite what transpired. “Want one?”

“Absolutely,” you responded, quick to take two out and hand one over. Watched him roll the windows down. Even went so far as to light both cigarettes for you like a gentleman. 

You knew he was still coming down from that high. It wasn’t like you could judge when the wetness collecting between your thighs was probably staining the carseat. It took everything in you not to beg him to take you right then and there. But you were a lady (of sorts) and as a lady, you were content with saving yourself for another day.

Besides, it was nice to see him so calm now. Like a weight had been lifted, if only for a moment. It was still a moment.

“Post-nut clarity cigarette,” you joked, taking a slow drag and glancing out at the afternoon sun. 

“Was that…not embarrassing?”

That was when you realized what was happening.

“Are you kidding me? That was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen,” you said truthfully. 

“I’m sure it’s totally hot,” he said sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

Ah, yes. You supposed it was embarrassing for a guy to have creamed his pants without so much as a kiss. But that didn’t bother you at all. You knew it would be different once you were alone, edging him until he was begging you for more. Nothing would make you happier.

You ignored him. “You know, if you want us to go any further, you’re gonna have to earn it,” you said plainly, checking over your nails to make sure the paint hadn’t chipped too bad.  

“How?”

“Once you learn to be nice to yourself.” You shrugged before glancing back over at his wide-eyed expression. “I know there’s something more to you than what you think of yourself. I saw it at the party and I’m seeing it now. You just have to see that, Eddie. That’s really all there is to it.”

Eddie’s lips seemed to form a pout before he took a few hearty puffs, the smoke billowing around you. Looked around. Looked down at his lap. Looked back up at you. Mumbled, “So I can’t, like, go down on you right now?”

A laugh surged out of you so quickly that you started coughing. You waved him away when his concern sounded, ending up laughing harder before you could contain yourself.

“As much as I’d love to give you the privilege of eating me out right now, I think it’s best to wait until you’ve shown some improvement.”

“So there’s a chance?” he asked. 

You leaned back in towards his face, opening his mouth with your thumb. Taking another drag, you put your lips to his and blew the smoke into his mouth. Felt him breathe it in before letting it out through his nose. 

You smirked. “If you’re desperate for a piece of me, you could always lap up what I left behind on your car seat.”

He groaned, taking a deep breath while rolling his eyes. “God, you’re a fucking menace.”

“Honey, you haven’t seen anything yet.”

as per usual, thanks to @strangergraphics for letting me use her dividers and looking over my work hehehe

[nvrsaidiwasinurcloset]

Hi again, same anon that asked for the ovulating reader thing. I wouldn't mind either but if you could do maybe a mix of both like fluffy at first and it leads to smut that would be great!!😊

I hope you like itttt! :)

Pieces of you - Ethan Landry x Fem!Reader

Ethan Landry x Fem!Reader

This contains SMUT - Minors DNI

Summary: You're extra needy of Ethan's attention.

A/N: TWO POSTS IN ONE NIGHT. I feel like I've been slacking a little lately lol. I'll be updating my masterlist tomorrow with everything that isn't already on it:)

Ethan had just gotten his own apartment, and you pretty much moved in with him almost immediately. He never wanted you to leave, because he loved waking up next to you. He’d gotten used to all the cute little random things you like to do and became more familiar with your emotions as he spent all his free time with you. But today, you were acting differently. He couldn’t figure you out.

When you woke up from a nap, you walked out of the bedroom to see Ethan on the couch watching a movie.

“Why’d you leave me in there?” you asked.

You fell asleep with him spooning you, because you needed him around you.

“I’m sorry babe. I wasn’t tired and I didn’t want to wake you up,” he said, as you sat down on his lap.

You snuggled into him as he sat there, your head laying on his chest.

“I missed you,” you said, taking in his scent. “The body wash you use smells amazing on you.”

He laughed a little at your comment, wrapping his arm around you. He focused on the movie he was watching, but you wanted him to focus on you.

You traced your fingers over his shirt-covered abs, as he started to wiggle. The movement of his hips made you gasp.

“You’re tickling me,” he laughed, as you stopped moving your fingers.

You sat there in silence for a few minutes, but he could tell something was bothering you.

“What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?” he asked, placing a kiss to the top of your head.

“I don’t know, I just…I feel weird today,” you said, “Can we talk? Like, about anything. I don’t care if its school.”

“Uh,” he said, pausing the tv, “sure, baby. I’m going to be really busy with school next semester, I hope you don’t mind.”

You did mind, but that’s probably just your hormones talking.

“What new classes are you taking?” you asked, placing a kiss to his chest.

As he spoke, you couldn’t help but admire the sound of his voice, and the way his words vibrated through his chest as he talked.

“Are you listening, baby?” he asked, trying to look down at you.

“Yeah, I’m sorry. What did you say?” you asked, as your hand rubbed up and down his chest.

“I was asking what you have going on after break’s over. What classes are you taking?” he asked, his hand running along your hip. The simple action wasn’t meant to be anything more than sweet, but it was starting to drive you crazy.

“Oh, um, I’m not really sure. I’ll check later and let you know.” You said, his hand movements really getting to you. “Can you stop rubbing my hip like that?”

He stopped his actions, feeling confused.

“I’m sorry, babe. I didn’t know you didn’t like it,” he said, holding his hand still.

“I love it, but you just can’t do it right now,” you said, holding on to him.

Ethan sat there, still confused, trying to figure out what was going on.

“You haven’t eaten anything yet, do you want to go get some food?” he asked, gently scooting you off him to stand up. “I’m starting to get really hungry, and we forgot to go grocery shopping.”

The only thing you were hungry for was him, but you decided to get up too.

“Yeah, let’s go,” you said, slipping on your sneakers as he grabbed his keys.

You sat in the passenger’s seat struggling to sit still. You really missed the loss of contact, but you also didn’t want your boyfriend to starve.

“Do you want to go to a sit-down restaurant, or you want fast food?” he asked, as his hand rested on your thigh.

“Oh, um, I don’t know. Whatever you want, babe,” you said, watching his hand rub up and down your thigh.

“You okay with Olive Garden? I really want some pasta,” he said, glancing over to you before focusing on the road in front of him.

“That’s fine,” you said, as he took a left turn towards the restaurant.

Once you got there, you took a seat across from him at the table. The waitress was quick with your drink order, but you felt like the food was taking forever.

“You want a breadstick?” he asked, taking a bite. “They’re so good.”

“Sure,” you said, finally deciding to eat something.

“Babe, are you sure you’re okay? If I did something, you’d tell me, right?” he asked, as the food was finally sat in front of us.

“Yeah, I guess I’m just a little needy today,” you said, twirling the spaghetti noodles around on your fork.

“It’s okay, I like you being all cozy with me,” he said, as he started to eat his food. “Fuck, this tastes amazing.”

You started to realize that if you didn’t fuck him soon, you might actually lose your mind. He grabbed your hand on top of the table as you talked about the things you wanted to do for the rest of the break.

“Babe, can we get out of here soon?” you asked, looking for the waitress.

“We can take the rest to go,” he said with a smile as his fingers played with yours. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” you smiled, as the waitress walked over to give Ethan the check.

On the way home, his hand was back on your thigh. His thumb was rubbing circles against you, and you finally couldn’t take it anymore.

“We need to get back home,” you said, stopping his hand.

“Why, babe? I was thinking we could go to this cute overlook. I brought a blanket, and we can cuddle while the sun sets,” he said, and you started to feel bad because it was so sweet and romantic…but you couldn’t hold back anymore.

“If you don’t take me home and fuck me, we’re going to have to do it in your car. I need it, baby,” you said, your pleading eyes connected with his.

“Is this what’s been bothering you all day? You just need me to fuck you?” he smirked, starting his hand movements on your leg again. “All you had to do was ask, babe. You know I love it.”

“I’ve been trying to hold back all day,” you said, gasping as he squeezed your thigh.

“Don’t ever hold back again, okay?” he said, as he turned into the parking lot of the apartment complex.

You both got out of the car and hurried up the stairs to his door. When you made it inside, you grabbed his hand, pulling him to his room. You stripped out of your clothes in seconds as Ethan stood there, watching you. You started to get impatient as you walked over to him, lifting his shirt over his head. His lips connected with yours as he unhooked his belt and slid his pants down his thighs.

“I guess you really do need it,” he said, as your hand stroked his cock through his boxers.

“So bad,” you mumbled against his lips.

You led him back to the bed, lightly shoving him so he’d fall back. You straddled him, grinding your wet pussy against his clothed cock. You lifted off him a little, to pull him out of his boxers so you could have him inside of you.

“Baby, wait,” he said, as you whimpered. “If you want to skip the foreplay that’s fine, but at least let me stretch you out with my fingers. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Okay, but no teasing. I can’t take it right now,” you said, as he flipped you over to have better access to your dripping pussy.

He slid one of his fingers inside of you, gasping as you started to clench around him immediately. He started to move it in and out of you before adding another.

“Oh my god,” you moaned out, finally getting the attention where you desperately needed it.

He pumped his fingers in and out of you for a few minutes, as you started to whine.

“Okay, I think that’s good. I need to ride you,” you said, the eagerness in your voice making him laugh.

“What has gotten into you?” he asked, smirking.

You didn’t answer as he laid back, and you resumed your position on top of him. You lined him up to your entrance before slowly sinking down onto him.

“Fuck,” he gasped, loving the feeling of you around him.

You started to move as his hands started to roam your chest. You whined out as he softly pinched your nipples. You leaned down to kiss him as you grinded on him, his own hips starting to thrust into yours.

You were a moaning mess within minutes, and your brain started to get foggy with pleasure.

When you sat back up to ride him again, your hand went to your clit, rubbing circles against it.

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he said, as he helped you rock your hips.

You kept rubbing your clit, and kept trying to get close to an orgasm, but you couldn’t get there. You started to get really frustrated, tears welling up in your eyes at the disappointment.

“Hey, what’s wrong, babe?” Ethan asked, wiping the single tear off your cheek.

“I need to cum, but I can’t,” you whined, as you tried even harder to get there.

“Maybe it’s just the position. Want to try another one?” he asked.

“Yeah, I guess,” you said, sliding him out of you.

You felt empty as you waited for him to tell you what to do.

“Let me fuck you from behind, baby. That always makes you cum,” he said, as you got in the position.

He groaned as your ass was stuck up in the air, your pussy craving him. He wasted no time as he started to thrust into you, as his other hand snaked around to rub your clit.

“Fuuuuck,” you whimpered, as the tip of his cock repeatedly hit that special spot inside of you.

“That feel better?” Ethan asked, as your arms spread out on the bed in front of you.

“Yes,” you mewled into the sheets.

He started to move faster, knowing how desperately you needed it. Loud moans were flying out of your mouth as you finally started to feel like you were getting close. Your hips moved back to meet his with each thrust, the sounds of his skin slapping against yours filling the room.

“God, you’re so fucking tight,” he said, his free hand running over the curve of your ass.

Your hands were balled into fists as you gripped the sheets, your impending orgasm quickly building.

“Fuck, you’re gonna make me cum,” you cried out, the feeling starting to wash over you.

Ethan watched you pull at the sheets as you started to shake underneath of him, the sight making him close to his own orgasm. Your walls fluttered around him, your incoherent babbling making him laugh, until those laughs turned to groans.

“God baby, your pussy feels amazing,” he moaned, as he reached that peak.

He pulled out, painting your lower back with his release. He kept his hands on your ass while he caught his breath.

“Thank you, babe,” you said, as you relaxed your grip on the sheets.

“You’re welcome,” he said, grabbing a towel to clean your lower back.

“Can we cuddle?” you asked, getting underneath the comforter.

“Of course, baby,” he said crawling in beside you.

He ran his fingers over your bare back as he held you against him. He loved the special, intimate moments he got to have with you, especially right after sex. It makes him happy to make you feel good.

“Hey, Ethan?” you said, looking up at him.

“What’s up?” he asked, placing a kiss to your forehead.

“Can we watch the sunset tomorrow night? I thought it was really sweet that you wanted to do that.”

He smiled at your words, “We can watch the sunset every single day if you wanted to.”

[simply-wlw-kpopstan]

30. Minjeong to the rescue

You entered minjeongs room to find her sitting down on the ground, already fidgeting with new pieces of Lego to finish up one of the towers. "you know I kind of feel like a double agent since you showed me your private account."

"knowledge is power after all." you smiled as you sat down. " how did things go after I left?"

" the usual. Jimin said you weren't feeling well and that she told you to go and lay down. We ended up talking about all things that happened this semester including the Uhm... The Parker incident. He won't be around for much longer at the university, his dad is transferring him to some military thing or something. "

"you went over to his place after everything happened didn't you? Jimin and I talked about it and you told her you were with me, you told me you had other plans and the next day you have a bruised hand and Parker claimed he had a fight with some guy." you reached over for another bag of Lego pieces and started to build a new part of the castle.

"he had it coming. I knew you couldn't do it with your scholarship being on the line and he would have found a way to get you kicked out."

"he threatened with it when he saw me with jimin. Guess he didn't like people knowing he wasn't all that. Makes me wonder how he slept with so many girls if he isn't that good? Rumours spread fast around campus yet nothing about him being bad in bed until jimin dumped him. "

"he has money and looks, some girls don't care about anything but bragging rights. Who knows, maybe they tried to get something out of it themselves." she clicked the last piece onto the tower and connected to the growing structure in front of you. "enough about him. Why did you suddenly disappear?"

You sighed and thought it over, would minjeong listen and understand your feelings or would she defend jimin without thinking about it? One thing you know for sure is that she stays true to her feelings and opinions so she probably wouldn't just brush it off and defend her friend. "jimin came up to me in the kitchen and hugged me. I told her we probably shouldn't and then she turned me around, if I didn't push her away she would've kissed me. It was like she didn't see the problem in that. I was introduced as a friend and didn't want to be caught kissing their daughter in their kitchen at all. That would be disrespectful wouldn't it? "

"you were scared of getting caughed I understand that but you do realize your fighting over a hypothetical thing that could've happened? Unless you're mad about something else and are using this as an excuse. "

"i'm not." you frowned as minjeong gave you a look before focusing back on the Lego piece.

"so you're not mad about meeting her parents as a friend instead of her girlfriend?"

"No? We're taking things Slow and I understand if she isn't ready for any labels yet. I-"

"i'm gonna stop you right there before you try to sell me more bullshit." she layed down her work before stealing your lego's out of your hands," You've been acting like a couple long before you confessed to one another. If and I say if you are upset over the fact she was so careless you should tell her because right now she doesn't know why you're upset. Now if it is about meeting the parents as a friend you should've thought about that before you joined the trip, you knew they were coming and you knew jimin told them you were a friend. "

"since when are you a therapist?" you clocked an eyebrow.

"since the day I met these girls." she smirked.

"well if you'll excuse me I have to go and talk to jimin. I'll come back after so we can finish this castle."

"you better! We should be able to finish it in an hour together I think. Just don't let jimin drag you into bed, I'm waiting and the rooms aren't soundproof just so you know." she sent you a playful glance as you walked out laughing.

"noted!" you walked into the living room to see aeri and ning watching a new k-drama, Once aeri spotted you she motioned to the bedrooms. You made your way over to jimin's room and softly knocked on the door.

"yeah?" jimin's voice came softly from inside and you opened the bedroom door to see her laying on her bed with a book.

"Hey, I just wanted to say I'm sorry for today. I should've never put you in the position to make up an excuse for me to your parents." you quietly sat down on the bed as she placed the book on her bedside table.

"I don't care about that. What I do care about is that you got all weird without any explanation."

"I got upset over the fact that you were so careless about kissing me. It hadn't been a day since I met your parents and it felt wrong. They think I'm your friend and I got scared about them finding out that I'm not just a friend. That I..."

"that you?" She raised an eyebrow at your sudden silence.

"that the whole Parker thing was my fault."

"what are you talking about? You weren't -"

"jimin if we didn't sleep together when you were together with him, he wouldn't have hit you. Do your parents know why he did it?"

"They know enough, Parker probably told his dad that I cheated too. I don't know if my parents know but they'll find out eventually. It was my choice though, you didn't pressure me into anything. Parker chose to hit me and it's no one's fault except his."

You nodded as you looked down at the ground. The sound of blankets rustling filled the room before you felt arms wrap around your waist. Jimin placed a kiss on your shoulder as she nuzzled her nose into the crook of your neck. "I promised minjeong I'd come back after talking with you. Her exact words were 'don't let jimin drag you into bed'"

"I didn't drag you, you sat down voluntarily." she smiled against your skin, "wouldn't you rather spend time with me in bed then build Legos with minjeong?"

You sucked your teeth, "see that's were you get too cocky. Minjeong and I have a goal we need to achieve. I'll come back once we're done though." you turned towards her as she pulled back from you.

"wha- you're not kidding? You're actually choosing lego's over me?" She looked at you in disbelieve.

"I made a promise to my friend so yes." you smirked as you stood up, "I don't have favorite's you know."

"She's your friend, I'm your-" she cut herself off but you both knew what she was going to say. "just go." she blushed as she picked up her book.

To be honest you were debating on teasing her with that near slip up but decided to leave it for now. You leaned down and kissed her on the top of her head, jimin looked up with a smile and pouted her lips slightly. After planting another kiss on her lips you left her alone and went back to minjeong to finish the Lego castle.

masterlist | next

[lexxierave]

When Fate Intervenes- tasm!Peter Parker x Reader Part 1

It was a wonder you and Peter Parker never met each other until you were both forced to attend a mandatory pre-midterm conference with Mr.Hertz, your physics professor for the fall semester, of which you were currently running late for. Then again maybe it was all part of fate's funny game it wanted to play on the two of you. 

You had completely forgotten what day it was earlier this evening and went straight home from work instead of heading in the opposite direction to your college.

You were recently new to New York, settling into a small and cheap apartment on the outskirts of Queens. It was all you could afford after you packed up and moved across states to attend college, preferring to be as far away from your family as you could get. 

You used what was left over from your college tuition to make the down payment for rent. After that you found a job at a small corner store. Just around the corner actually and you happened to find out they needed help by chance when you went there for basic food supplies. It wasn't much but they were willing to work around your college schedule and let you do your homework whenever it got slow.

You had just finished your shift at work and were completely wiped from working all day and thinking about the mountain of assignments and reading you still had to do.

You envied the rich college kids if only for the facts that they didn't have to worry about that. Didn't have to worry about failing or surviving in the real world. While you never had a moment's rest. Never stopping and allowing yourself just to breathe and live.

You didn't come from a happy home. No, you came from a broken home. One that taught you terrible habits, like avoiding your problems. Or people in general so that you don't get attached, get let down and have more problems.

Anxiety was a constant in your life so much that you always wore out. Which was why you decided a nice nap after work sounded better than starting your schoolwork.

You woke up to your phone going off about an hour later.

You looked blinked that sleep away and picked up your phone to see your college's name rolling across the screen.

Puzzled and tired you answered it. The sleep is evident in your voice.

"So it's not just my class lectures you tend to be late for." The voice on the other end spoke after you said your typical greeting. The exasperation evident in their voice.

It was clearly your physics teacher, you'd remember that voice from everywhere. Having been scolded by him multiple times this semester for arriving late for his early morning class but it was challenging when you usually had to work the evening shift at work then stay up late to finish up your course work before the next day.

It was not an ideal balance but it was one you had to manage for the time being. Your job wouldn't give you the morning shift and the college only offers this class during one time this semester and you would rather get it out of the way fast then wait to do it plus it was a prerequisite for a handful of your other classes.

"I am so sorry I thought it was Tuesday for some reason. I'll be there in about 30 minutes." You apologized for the tenth time for letting the meeting slip your mind and lied through your teeth about when you'd be there.

Which is why you were running across campus to one of the buildings in the back to meet your fate.

Meanwhile in another part of campus Peter hand touched down from swing to one of his emergency backpacks that he left for when he was running late for something on school grounds, like right now. 

He knew what time he had to be at the meeting for Me. Hertz but you try to tell that to highspeed bank robbers going in the opposite direction. They'd laugh at him and then blow smoke from their getaway car in his face.

Peter shook his head at the mere thought of it before jumping on his skateboard and jetting over to the backside of campus. 

He needed to get this over with face and get back to patrolling. He knew it was not about his grades, he's one of the smartest students in class. Probably is the smartest but he'd never give himself that much credit with his classroom attendance. 

That's probably what this is all about. He's attendance or lack thereof, especially of late. Peter really only took some easy college courses to get Aunt May to stop worrying about him following Spider-Man around all day long.

His heart and head weren't in any of it. He'd rather be stopping bad guys so no one got hurt like Gwen did or Harry.

If only Peter could save the people he cared about most. It was a guilt he'd carry like a scarlet letter forever.

With all of Peter's thoughts consuming him it didn't take him long to reach Mr. Hertz's office. 

He kicked up his board and reached for the door handle, mentally preparing himself for the lecture he was about to receive. But who can prepare for what fate has in store for them?

Part 2

[kitorin]

OUR SPRING

013. bros before hoes

a/n. rin pov for this chapter !

July 2022

Challenges and new difficulties never scared or worried Rin.

However, that was only limited to football. Sure, a successful change in career was an amazing feat done by him, and it doesn't compare to moving up a class in mathematics. But in music, he has the other three, as well as the company, and on the soccer field there are 10 other players by his side, as well as the bench, coach and manager.

But within this classroom, he was on his own.

He knew that very well, and his expectations were met the moment he walked in and settled down at a desk.

"Why is Rin in this class?"

"He's delusional if he thinks he can do well here."

"Isn't he really stupid?"

Hate isn't something foreign to Rin. Even before becoming an idol many despised him and his diligence, as well as his skills and abilities. They can't do anything to him; they don't even have the guts to say it directly at him because they know they his fame won't let them get away with it.

What really worried him, was how true their statements were.

"Oi Tada." Rin wasn't one to involve himself in any drama, but this time he was genuinely curious, and was also technically apart of it. He carefully listened to the stranger without making it obvious.

"Don't go around running your mouth. Especially about grades when you've only gotten 60% at best here." Aside from English, Rin would've considered 60% on a test great, to him, a pass was a pass.

'Tada' was offended, immediately lashing out. "I'm sorry you're smart, only three people got As last semester." What kind of excuse was that?

The stranger remained stoic, Rin would've retaliated violently if someone tried to justify their words by calling him skilled. "Then join us three, shouldn't be that hard?"

"The tests here are hard-"

"Doesn't matter. Regardless of how hard it is you have no right to judge someone else and are in position to do so or even try."

The argument was cut short with the arrival of the teacher, but the winner was evident; the calm stranger sat next to Rin. Must be a fan of his if they sat with him without hesitation.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. I already said I was." He had no idea why they kept bothering with him, maybe if he gave them an autograph they'll stop.

"Geez. You're cold."

"Then go sit somewhere else." Rin missed when all his actions and words weren't monitored, now he can't call anyone an idiot or lukewarm without getting cancelled.

"You think I want to sit near that?" He'd rather die than admit it, but the disgusted accentuation of the last word and the gesture towards the rest of the class amused him. "That's what I thought."

"So, what's your name?" They continued speaking. "I'm y/n."

The question proves his guess wrong, you weren't a fan and didn't even know who he was. There's a tiny bit of guilt for assuming otherwise.

"Itoshi Rin."

"Nice meeting you. I'll be seeing you a lot from now on."

"Doubt that." Give it a test or two and the teacher would start convincing him to move back down to standard. "Studying isn't my thing."

"You're so pessimistic." You switch to a whisper, as the teacher assigns work for revision of the previous semester.

"I'm being realistic. I'm shit at school." He wouldn't talk about himself this much with someone outside of his band, but his academic capabilities were no secret, pretty much everyone knew how low his results were.

"So? You can improve a lot regardless."

"Easier said than done."

"I was bad at math last year."

"Your idea of bad is anything under an A." It's a guess, most people who were good at school would rather die than get anything that wasn't outstanding. Rin acknowledges how suffocating perfectionism was, especially when people invalidate the sense of disappointment just because others would kill for the same result; now he sort of understands how other soccer players felt.

"I guess that's true." Rin scoffs at your agreement. "But I've done a lot worse than a B."

"Can't be that bad."

"47% was my first result last year." It's pretty good in comparison to Rin's results, but if a pass was a pass, then a fail was a fail. "Then I got around 70%." You probably ended up investing in tuition if you improved that much.

"Then 30%." That sounded a lot more relatable to Rin.

"You weren't wrong about bad."

"See? But then I got an 87% after that."

"Are you here just to show off your grades?" It came out coldly, but he didn't say it with hostile intentions.

"No, my point is, anyone can improve."

"Don't bother, I can't get a tutor."

" You don't need a tutor either, I didn't need one." But we're not the same. Rin's so tempted to say it out loud, why were you trying so hard to help him?

"Fine. I'll give you a term and if you were wrong don't even bother."

"Deal."

Rin's happy.

He can't help but grin (a rare occasion) at the 75% in bright red, you really weren't lying when you insisted he'd be fine. It's not exactly perfect, nor an A, but it's such a significant improvement and that's all that matters; he's proud of himself.

"See? I told you you'd do better. Well done." You pat his shoulder, as you're both on the way to the station.

Even if you were wrong about him, he'd still be content. Not only you were efficient at teaching, but you were also kind, and a generally comfortable person to be around. Nothing you said was unnecessary or illegitimate, you were honest but not harsh.

Rin's opened up to you a lot. From the reason why he quit soccer to another potential career change in the future. It didn't matter what it was since you always listened without judgement.

"I can't take any credit, it's all yours. You're the one who taught me everything. He still can't understand why you think of him so highly, you're the one who put most of the effort into making sure he could perform well, while maintaining your own grade simultaneously.

"Don't discredit yourself."

Before Rin can respond, you continue speaking.

"It was you who ultimately decided to join the advanced class, you put a lot of effort it without ruining the rest of your schedule. Be proud of yourself Rin, most people can't even dream of confronting their struggles. It's scary to try something new."

Rin agrees with the last statement, even if he did it with the expectation of giving up quickly.

"y/n."

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

"For?"

"Everything." For defending him on the first day. For helping him. For believing in him.

"That's what friends are for, no?"

Friends. The closest to those were his bandmates (or as Reo calls it 'family', with him as the doting parent and Hyoma and Rin as the 'kids'), or teammates, who he doesn't even speak to anymore. You're probably the first person to willingly talk to him normally, not because you're forced to or interested in his fame.

Rin pulls you in for a hug, earning a surprised gasp from you. He releases you quickly, after processing what he just did.

"Sor-"

But before he can finish apologising, you hug him back, to Rin, the affection is foreign yet welcomed.

July 2023

Rin tosses his phone onto his bed, as he drops his school bag on the floor. He'd never tell him but the conversation with Hyoma had a smile tugging at his lips; both at how ridiculous is was and how it reminded him of you.

There's a deep sense of gratitude Rin has, that two of his close friends are dating; because he cares for both of you. He knows very well that you're both amazing people (even if he does slander Hyoma constantly) and only wants the best for your relationship.

TWELVE | FOURTEEN | MASTERLIST

PAIRING. chigiri hyoma x reader

SYNOPSIS. school gets overwhelming with constant rumours and accusations, thankfully someone is willing to help. but what happens when this mutually beneficial agreement escalates into something more?

GENRE. social media au, fake dating, idol / actor au

TAGLIST. @saesins, @angelchigiri, @punkhazardlaw, @silly-ez, @y-sabell-a, @mellozhi, @luvlunazx, @oldest-dream-pdf, @misfits1a, @hoshithinker, @livelaughloveisagiyoichi, @mave-in, @rinsie, @luvcryo, @fabitheraven, @h3xi2g0n3

© kitorin : do not repost, plagiarize, change, or translate

[writings-ofthe-heart]

I don’t think we’ve really interacted before, but you seem chill! Every time I see a post about or watch Community I think of ur blog lol

Speaking of Community? May I request some Abed Nadir headcanons? They can platonic or romantic, you have the creativity liberty here I’m sure I’ll enjoy whatever you write

Hi anon thank you :3 this was so long ago but i appreciate it!!

it makes me so joyous u think of my blog with community XD

YES! I'M SO HAPPY ALMOST NONE OF MY REQUESTS ASKED FOR COMMUNITY OR ABED... I actually wrote a little fic intro for abed so i'll post it xd as well as the headcanons right now ;)

Also you can take this as romantic or platonic whichever u feel best :)

hope you do end up enjoying my (very late) writing!

Abed Nadir x Reader (romantic/platonic) 𓂃⋆.˚

ʚ When he first saw you, introducing yourself as the new club president of the Films and Media club, it was like something clicked in his head.

ʚ Because, yes, of course. It had to be you. There wasn't any way out of the matter.

ʚ That led to weeks and weeks of planning, plotting, he had never been so stressed about something other than films.

ʚ Even Troy had started to worry.

Troy put a hand on Abed's shoulder, while he was typing away on his laptop. "Dude, it's been six hours, I think you should just go up to them. Or maybe find a club they're in."

That was precisely the problem. You were in his films and media club. The club president as well! It was torture having to go every Thursday and stare at you. Stare as you talked, so passionately, it made him want to weep. Abed started to wring his hands out as he turned to Troy.

"I can't. What if they ignore me? Or even worse they laugh in my face? Or they could dismiss me like I'm a Vruvian. Even worse than that could be they could light me on fire. Hm." He listed the reasons of his concern, with the slightest emotion. Troy shook his head.

"Man. You gotta figure it out. You like them right? You wanna talk to them?"

Abed nodded repeatedly.

"Suggest the next movie for the club. I guarantee it will be nothing but net!" Troy laughed, amused by himself as he tossed an invisible basketball into an invisible net.

Abed only swiveled back to his laptop, humming in thought.

ʚ Only after that week, had he settled on actually talking to you. He wasn't sure what he was feeling for you but he had to snuff it out.

ʚ It had been the second last meeting of the fall semester, and as you quietly put away the DVDs and packed your bag, you felt a tap on your shoulder.

ʚ Abed was sweated bullets, he could hear his heartbeat in his ears and it really, really freaked him out.

"Oh, hey! Something you need help with?"

Abed stood there, staring for a minute.. or five.

You smiled at him, you could see the gears turning or, well, trying to turn in his head. It was just a buffering moment.

"Can I suggest a movie for the last meeting?" He managed to spit out the sentence without melting into molten lava.

"Uh, yeah! Of course! Let me write that down though." You quickly pulled out a notepad from your bookbag and flipped it to a new page. "Go ahead."

ʚ He could not keep his mouth shut after that. He had suggested Cougar Town which meant that well, let's just say you ended up walking out together.

ʚ Very late at night, you could add.

ʚ Abed seemed to be sucked into a parallel world of Cougar Town, but you didn't mind.

ʚ It ended up being the most interesting conversation you've had with a peer.

ʚ He walked you to your car and waved goodbye as you pulled out and drove away.

His legs felt like jelly and he really couldn't pinpoint the reason why. Of course, until he got home and Troy saw the state of him.

"Damn man, were they really that awesome to talk to?"

[qrosewinter]

Toxic

Prev-Next

Description : Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3... To be continued.

Summery: Where a girl from New Zealand goes to brooklyn to live with her Auntie and Uncle, mets a brooklyn boy with secrets and a voice like honey with pretty hazel green eyes.

Where a brooklyn boy mets a girl from New Zealand with an accent he's never heard before, who he can't seem to forget.

And a Polynesian girl struggling to find who she is in the concrete jungle of NYC so far from home.

The start of the most unlikely relationship between two people starts to bloom, between a brooklyn boy who's just a little misunderstood.

Will this relationship bloom or stay untouched? Maybe we should let fate take the lead for this one.

Fic summary: slow burn, obvious to flirting, a little bit of angst, romance, revenge, anger.

WARNINGS ⚠️: Horrible attempts at slang, Horrible attempts at Spanish, Swearing, Weapons, Gore, Drugs, Alcohol, Mature themes, Spelling mistakes.

Chapter 2: Am I seeing shit again.

Are you hearing voices again? -Unknown

{{♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡}}

It's been about 3-4 days since I went to Visions and walked right into someone making a damn fool out of myself, but then again, what's new?

Not gonna lie it wasn't one of my best moments how awkward I felt I mean like, why in hells name did I say 'Have a good day' so god dammed awkwardly, why the fuck did I even say it at all!?

Could have said something like, "Well, sorry about that, but I gotta go, see ya. But not you had to go and say".

'Have a good day?', if I could punch myself so hard right now to make myself forget I ever said that I would, in a heartbeat.

But too bad you can't now can you :/

I'll be starting at Visions next week though, so I guess I have more chances to male myself out to be a fool, they did tell me during my little interview thing or whatever you wanna call it.

They didn't have any dormrooms ready for me at the moment.

so I won't be moving to the dorms anytime soon, which is fair.

I did so happen to start up at that school. What? A little past first term or semester, I think they call it here in America?

I don't know. I'm still trying to wrap my head around the education system here, and I still don't understand a damn thing.

But anyway, I won't be put in a dorm room yet until they find an either an empty one or someone without a roommate, which I don't think will happen anytime soon.

But the good news is I don't live very far from school. The bad news is I'd have to wake up earlier to get ready and be out the door before school starts, which sucks ass.

But beggers can't be choosers, so I'll take it, means I won't have to share a room with someone I don't know that's a plus, I guess.

Still don't know how I'll handle seeing that guy. It'll be awkward. That's for

《 ○ 》

"Y/N!" My Auntie lily yelled from the kitchen, and I snapped out of my thoughts and looked away from the little notebook I was writing in seated at my desk.

"Yeah?" I called back out to her as I leaned back in my desk chair, tilting my head towards the door and waiting for a response.

But when I didn't get one, I groaned, frustrated, and rolled my eyes.

I hated when people did that. Even when parents did that, call out your name to get your attention, but don't say a damn thing, so you gotta get up to see what they want.

Only to be asked to do the most simplistic things ever, like pass them the TV remote.

But it's right in front of them on the coffee table, or they don't even remember anymore and tell you never mind.

I got up grumbling to myself under my breath as I walked out of my bedroom.

in the simplest outfit of an oversized black hoodie with a small red and white mushroom on the front over my left breast and two bigger ones on the back, with the words 'Let's take a trip' and just some simple army green shorts that used to be pants before I cut them up into shorts.

My hair was pulled back messily into an attempt at a bun before I gave up and left it as is.

I walked down the hallway towards the kitchen, my bare feet barely making any sound on the carpet until I got to the kitchen.

And I leaned against the doorframe. "Yeah?" I said to my auntie, lazily raising an eyebrow at her with my hands stuffed into my hoodie pocket.

"Ah there you are, Me haere koe ki te toa maku ki te tiki i etahi mea maku, he rarangi takuKa taea e koe te haere ki te toa maku, ki te tiki etahi mea, he rarangi taku me etahi moni hei tiki." my Auntie said to me as she said to me as she picked up a list she had written out for me and held it out for me to take, along with a few bills to pay for everything on the list.

I groaned tipping my head back "ko te iwa i te po ka hiahia koe kia haere ahau ki te toa ko ahau anake" I said back to her as I dropped my head forward and took the list and money reluctantly.

"Yes, you'll be fine. Just take a knife and put it in your pocket." My Auntie huffed at me, waving my words off as she turned around to finish putting the dishes away.

I grumbled but didn't complain openly at least as I plucked a semi-sharp knife from the knife block and shoved it into my pocket as I turned and walked back to my room to get my jandels (Flip flops for the Americans :) )

I slipped them on, pulled my hood up over my messy hair shoved the list and money into my pocket along with putting my phone in my back pocket and taking just one earbud out of my JBL case and putting it in my ear.

Before I left the apartment, after going down some stairs out of the apartment building.

I tapped the side of my earbud about two times to skip through the songs I didn't want to listen too until I settled on 'Never enough by Six60' a classic song from a band back home.

"Still can't shake the feelin' in my bones, it won't leave me, it won't let me go," I sung under my breath to myself as I kept walking down the dark empty streets to the store about three blocks away.

It was dark besides a few lightposts lining the streets, some flickering others doing just fine. Brooklyn in the daytime was so different compared to the nighttime.

At night, it was dangerous. You had to keep your guard up, and I wasn't stupid. I knew crime ran wild at night in brooklyn.

I'd seen enough of it on TV, hearing people tall about it, and so on. It's the reason this city had a curfew, and why it kept getting early depending on just how bad it kept getting, and so far, it was getting worse before it's ever going to get better.

The once lively streets looked so much darker, like something out of a horror movie, not a sound besides the faint buzzing of streetlights.

feral cats digging through trash, the odd whisper of something in the alleyways and the sound of TV's playing from inside buildings.

But I wasn't completely dumb, I knew as quiet as it was, as empty as everything seemed around me.

I wasn't actually alone out here tonight, there was others out here, none with good intentions and anyone who did.

well, let's just say they wouldn't be there for long.

which is the reason my aunt made me take a knife with me for self-defense.

And what I knew I had to do was keep an eye out so I was, I kept an eye on my surroundings.

but made sure to make myself look relaxed and not all tense knowing that I'll just draw attention to myself if I did.

I glanced up and around me, though the streets were dangerous at night. I couldn't help but find them strangely beautiful too.

The way the stars just barely, peeked through the clouds in the sky under the pollution in the air, the way the street lights cast light on curtain parts of the streets and slowly left the others bathed in darkness.

The way the colours played off of everything around me was just in a strangely weird and beautiful. It's in its own dark twisted kinda way, of course, but still had a certain charm to it.

"There was a time when you would've given me everything that you own, The only thing you left me was alone.." I sung to myself under my breath as I kept my hands in my pocket.

my right hand gripping the handle of the knife loosely judt in case.

I sighed softly, sqinting my eyes as i looked in front of me.

I was tired from not sleeping properly the past few nights.

for some reason staying up until five in the morning then going to sleep, which yes I know is fucking stupid.

But I just couldn't get to sleep, for some stupid reason or another.

But still, I kept walking. I had just 2 more blocks to go before I hit the store to grab a few things, and then I could go home, collapse in bed, and die until tomorrow afternoon hopefully.

~I guess our time is up, I've given you too much, I just need to keep on movin', cause I still crave your touch, why won't you fade to dust?~

~so I can line you up, enough is never enough (ooh-ooh), enough is never enough(ooh-ooh), with every single does (oh-oh-oh), losin' all control (oh-oh-oh), never is never enough(ooh-ooh)~

( Miles's POV)

Meanwhile, with Miles....

~as I walk though the valley of the shadow of death, I take a look at myself and realize there's nothin' left, 'cause I've been blastin' and laughin' so long that, even my mama thinks that my mind is gone~

Miles hummed along to the music playing in his ears from his earbuds plugged into his phone shoved I his front pocket, as he he slipped on his jacket, a a dark purple nearing black in the low light of his Uncle's apartment.

Just another night as the prowler, and another night of getting his Mami the supplies she needed for the hospital she worked at.

so underfunded sometimes patients who needed their medicine who didn't get it in time, didn't make it.

~but I ain't never crossed a man who didn't deserve it, me be treated like a punk, you know that's unheard of, you better watch how ya talkin' and where ya walkin'~

Music was one of the ways Miles pumped himself up as he got ready to go out there with hi mask on, on the streets that he remembered used to be so beautiful before the corruption sunk its claws into his city and with it his Dad.

~or you and your homies might be lined in chalk, I really hate to trip but I gotta loc, as they croak, I see myself in pistol smoke, fool, I'm the kind of G that little homies wanna be like, on my knees in the night, sayin' prayers in the steertlights~

Miles clenched his jaw and shook his head, rolling his shoulders.

'Naw ain't got time to think like that, get your in the game Miles' he thought to himself as he finished suiting up, he took one look at himself in the reflection of the windows in his Uncle's living room and stood a little straighter.

~we've been spendin' most their lives livin' in a gangsta's paradise, we've been spendin' most their lives livin' in a gangsta's paradise, we've keep spendin' most our lives livin' in a gangsta's paradise, we've been spendin' most our lives livin' in a gangsta's paradise~

'I'm gonna make you proud Dad, swear it' Miles thought as he took his earbuds out and unplugged them from his phone the music of 'Gangsta's paradise by Coolio, L.V' spilling from his phone as his mask smoothly slid over his face.Lookingng back at Miles was the prowler in his reflection.

"Ay Neph time to ,go," Uncle Aaron called out from the door, and Miles nodded.

"On my way, Unc," Miles said to Aaron, his voice distorted by the voice changer in his mask as he made his way to the door.

Long since having paused his music as he put his gloves on with a Sharp click.

~look at the situation they got me facin', I can't live a normal life, i was raised by the stripes, so I gotta be down with the hood team, too much television watchin' got me chasin' dreams, I'm an educated fool with money on my mind, got a ten in my hand and a gleam in my eye~

Miles followed Aaron to the rooftop of the apartment, building his clawed hands clenching and unclenching as he walked.

"You remember the plan?" Aaron said, walking in front of miles looking through his phone at the time, before he tucked his phone back in his pocket

"Mm, I remember get the shit be in be out," Miles muttered to his uncle as they made it to the rooftop, and he looked over the buildings around them.

Some had fires going on top of them, others didn't, but you could see the gleam of neon lights of tall skyscraper buildings in the distance and people moving around under the glow of lights shining though there apartment windows.

~I'm a loc'd out gangsta, set trippin' banger, and my homies is down, so don't arouse my anger, fool, death ain't nothin' but a heartbeat away~

"Got yo earpiece?" Aaron asked Miles before he got ready to leave, handing Miles a black backpack.

"Yeah, it's in," Miles replied as he shrugged on the bag, Aaron handed him.

"Eyes sharp," Aaron said to Miles, nodding at him, standing back and tapping his earpiece in his own ear to turn it on.

"Mind steady," Miles said back with a nod before he was off using his grappling hook in hand to swing odd through the city under cover of the night towards the docs where a new shipment of medical supplies were waiting.

~I'm livin' my life do-or-die, uh, what can I say, I'm 23 now, but will I live to see 24?, with way things is goin', I don't know, tell me why are we so blind to see, the ones we hurt are you and me~

Miles weaved in and out of alleyways High above on the air, flipping through the air and rolling along the side of buildings to build momentum as he headed for the docs using his titanium claws to grip onto the ledges of buildings to throw himself forward.

~we've been spendin' most their lives livin' in a gangsta's paradise~

//////////

(Y/N's POV)

Seeing the store up ahead, I signed in relief.

"Thank fuck man" I grumbled under my breath as I pushed the door open and walked inside taking the list out of my pocket pocket I picked up a basket nearby from the door.

And started on my walk around the store for the items on the list my Auntie gave me.

"Dried chilli's, tortilla's, milk, bread and a juice" I mumbled under my breath reading over the list with a nod to myself as I repeated over and over in my head what was needed as I shoved the list in my pocket.

I walked around the store, throwing what was needed into the basket, and then, lastly, the juice.

I grunted softly, feeling how heavy the basket was now. The juice was in it.

"Damn," I muttered under my breath, gripping the handles of the basket just a little tighter as I walked towards checkout.

I paused, looking down at a shelf with some lollies on it- sorry, correction candies, my bad, I forgot I was in America.

I snorted softly to myself, amused as I picked up an interesting looking candies I'd never seen before or tired.

"Milk duds? Looks interesting, " I muttered to myself, and with a shurg, I dropped the box in the basket, a little treat for myself when I was walking home.

Making it to checkout, I set my basket on the counter.

"Hi, just these, please," I said politely to the casher, who looked like she'd rather be anywhere but here right now.

I shoved my hands in my hoodie pocket, standing there a little awkwardly as she checked them out for me.

'Mood, I feel you, my G', I thought to myself, glancing up at the girl at the counter, checking out my items for me.

She was actually really pretty, dark skinned with cornrows, and really pretty blue eyes that contrasted beautifully with her skin.

"That'll be $36.50, cash or card?" The girl spoke up a little drly, sounding tired, which is fair, so I didn't hold it against her.

"Cash, thank you," I said to her with a small smile as I counted out two $20's from the cash my Auntie gave to me and handed it to her.

"You wanna a bag?" She asked me as she counted out my change, which came to $3.50 as she handed it to me, and I took it, putting the change in my pocket.

"Yes, please," I said to her as she bagged up my items and handed me the bag.

"Thank you, have a good night," I said to her before I left, more in habit really from growing up in New Zealand, anytime.

"Mm," the girl muttered as she went back to playing on her phone, what she had been doing before I got to check out.

And I once more started on my walk home, glancing up at the sky every once in awhile hoping to see stars but only really managing to see planes or helicopters flying around

I frowned in disappointment before shrugging it off with a sigh.

With the bag of stuff in my left hand, I reached into my pocket with my right hand for my phone and used my fingerprint ID to open it.

I scrolled through my playlists, looking for a song to listen to as I walked, something I was in the mood for.

I scrolled for a bit as I walked every once in awhile looking up to make sure I didn't walk into anything, as I kept scrolling not finding a song I was interested in as I switched between another playlist had.

And when I thought I found a song, I heard the rustling of clothes, pained grunts, and low voices speaking coming up ahead from an alleyway.

I kept walking curiosity peeked, even in my tired state. i couldn't help but be nosey.

I shoved my phone back in my pocket, coming to a stop next to the alleyway, and I turned my head to look down it.

And there was a man being pinned to a wall, an arm against his throat making it hard to breathe for the overweight white man, a hand pinned to the wall by metal claws gleaming in the faint moonlight.

And the one holding the overweight man, he was interesting, to say the least.

Purple and black dominating his outfit, from the shoes to the accessories on his clothes, a mask over his face, like pixels on an old ass box TV, the kind before flat screen TVs, but not really as pixilated as yours think.

And two braids running down the back of his head that looked familiar stopping just past his shoulders.

They both seemed to pause after hearing my foot steps and turned to look at me.

But me being tired, overly exhausted, blinked at them lazily and confused, my brows frowned.

"Fuck I need to sleep more I'm starting to hallucinate again" I grumbled to myself my voice echoing a little down the alleyway as I started walking away rubbing at my eyes unimpressed at myself.

Just chalking what I saw up to my imagination fucking with me for not sleeping properly, honestly wouldn't be the first time, always had a shitty sleeping schedule.

Very few times I'd get the maximum eight hours of sleep, I'd either go to bed between 11pm to about 5am, cause I'm that stupid to stay up that late, only to be pissed off and tired the next day.

I shrugged and let my hand drop from my eyes.

I walked slightly hunched and legs feeling heavy, it felt like my legs were gonna give out on me, but well mama didn't raise no bitch, so we keep on going.

I didn't realise when I started daydreaming, or maybe i was dissociating again?, who knows.

But by the time I snapped out of it, I was home, standing in front of my apartment door, before I ever realized where I was.

"Mm," I mumbled to myself, paying it no mind as I opened the door and stepped inside, kicking off my jandels by the side of the door.

"I'm back," I called out as I walked into the kitchen and dropped the bag on the kitchen counter, digging through it for my milk duds I got.

Once I had the box in hand, I shoved it into my pocket and wondered off to my room.

"Any trouble well you were out, bub!" Lily called out from the living room.

"Nah, it was algoods, Auntie!" I called back out to her as I crawled into bed, flinching just a little when I felt something sharp poke my stomach.

Reaching into my hoodie pocket, I dumped out everything that was in it, from my phone, the change and extra cash I was given, my milk duds, and finally, the knife I forgot I had.

"Forgot about that," I mused to myself as I dumped the change and knife on my bedside table, picked up the box of chocolate covered lollies, and opened the box.I dumpedng a few in my hand before popping them on my mouth and chewing.

I scrunched my nose up at the taste. It wasn't the best candy I'd ever had or lollie for that matter, tasted too well fake to me, far too artificial then anything I'd ever tasted before.

So I dropped the box of sweets on my nightstand and picked up my water bottle. I always left on my bedside table and took a swing to wash out my mouth with a small grimace.

"Well that was disappointing" I muttered to myself setting my water bottle back down, as I picked up my phone and slid down more in my bed to get comfortable as I pulled the blankets up to my neck.

Turning it on, I went onto Tiktok and used the automatic scrolling feature, as well as plugged my phone in as I propped my phone up against the wall.

Watching the random videos that played as my eyes grew heavy.

Before sleep finally claimed me, and I was out like a light.

(MILES POV)

Miles had just gotten home after taking a bit of a detour after dropping off the supplies at his Mami's hospital.

He grunted as he kicked off his shoes, and dropped his jacket on the floor, taking off the black collar around his neck that held his mask and dropped it into a box he kept all his dad's all accessories and his own.

He stripped off the layers of his Prowler suit and replaced it with his own tank top and some sweats before putting on his purple durag that had little gold crowns on it over his braids.

He then picked up the pieces of his suit and dropped them into a box he took aw, y hidden in his closet.

He then dropped onto his bed with a si. Onene had taken behind his head as he picked up his phone to check for any messages from his mami.

He tapped on his Mami's contact after seeing an unread message from her.

'Gonna be working late again tonight, leftovers are in the microwave, Te amo duerme dormido ❤️'

Miles signed softly, another night shift. Made him glad he cleaned the house before heading over to his uncle's.

He pulled his hand out from behind his hand and started to type a message.

'Te amo Mami, no trabajes tan duro ❤️'

He hit send, plugged his phone in, and shifted to pull his blankets over himself as he rolled over to go to sleep.

'That girl again, huh shame I still ain't know her name,' Miles thought to himself amused.

Remembering how those sleepy tired eyes had looked at him tonight, or should he say the prowler.

How she had looked at the prowler had convinced herself what she'd seen was nothing but hallucinations cause she was so tired.

He was sure he'd see her again, and he knew just like the first time, and the second it'll just be as interesting as the first.

Then maybe, just maybe next time he'd know where she was from, know what that accent she had was.

Until then, he'd sleep. He had school tomorrow after all.

So he shut his eyes, got comfortable, and let himself relax enough to maybe, this time, sleep a full night.

And if not, well, he'd deal with it in the morning.

{{♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡}}

Hi! Sorry for the delay in this chapter, I'm gonna try and write at least two before I post another and work on a schedule to be able to post them.

I try and work on them when I'm not busy at home, and when I'm not busy at work, I'll let you guys know now. Until then, happy reading.

Translation:

Ka taea e koe te haere ki te toa maku, ki te tiki etahi mea, he rarangi taku me etahi moni hei tiki. = can you go to the shop for me, and get a few things, i have a list and some money to get them.

ko te iwa i te po ka hiahia koe kia haere ahau ki te toa ko ahau anake = it's nine at night and you want me to go to the store by myself

Te amo duerme dormido = I love you, sleep tight.

Te amo Mami, no trabajes tan duro = I love you Mommy, don't work too hard.

[tgirlblogger]

Dear Diary,

CW: Eating Disorder

The days are getting much too long. Yesterday felt like three whole days into one. Maybe it's just because too many things happened that day, but a day really should have only one thing that happens in it.

I went to sleep, so what I would've written yesterday is probably much different than what I'm writing now. There's the present and there's the past, and it feels like the past should be yesterday, but it feels more and more like the past is coming into parts of the current day. Its not too coherent my thoughts, but that's fine.

I ate a lot of stuff yesterday, but I finally threw up for the first time in like what must have been maybe a whole week. It really did feel great, didn't even get the whole acid burning feeling. For Lunch I ate rice with some sort of meat, and cauliflower. I really gorged myself on a whole bunch of chocolate, and then for dinner we went to this fancy restaurant that cost three hundred dollars for some really just okayish food. But like thats three hundred to feed six people so its a good deal I guess. The real main attraction was the lobster I guess? It was deep fried I think and there were some fries on the side. It was fine I guess. I think it cost like a hundred dollars that dish alone. But like yknow chinese new year yaddayaddayadda. I think I've eaten two meals plus snacks like every day the past week too, just genuinely not good for me. My stomach's been hurting a lot recently and it might be because of that or maybe its just a cold or something.

I've been a bit sick recently, but it was just god awful. While I was taking my test I was just coughing and sneezing and sniffling the entire way through. I felt shitty as hell because I knew I was causing a general ruckus and disrupting others. Yesterday I probably would have wrote about how my life's over and how I definitely failed that test, but marks got back and its pretty good. 96 on history 96 on math 92 on science and 92 on communications technology (I didn't even want it to be my elective. I wanted drama). Its not bad, its not bad at all I think. I'm not proud of myself because 92 on science and 96 on math is nothing to be proud of, but I didn't do as bad as I thought I would. History really surprised me, because I didn't study the whole thing for it. For a few questions I just eenie meenie miney moe'd it or just closed my eyes looked away and just put down the answer my pencil landed closest to. So to know that I did well really shocked me. It was all multiple choice, so I guess there's that to thank. I don't think I'm ready though, I struggled so much this semester and like its only gonna get harder. I don't really think I can do this. And like my mom is also pressuring me to not do IB (she says she isn't but shes always saying that IB is so hard and she keeps on asking again and again if I want to do IB) and like man, come on. I need to do IB. If I don't I don't think I could even live if I didnt.

Clipped my nails because chinese new year is all about rebirth and destroying the past or something (or my parents are just straight up wrong or lying to me), like I was growing my nails the past bit because like it felt good and it was another poor attempt at trying to be feminine, but I'm fine with cutting them. I think I'll try to stop picking at little bits of meat that get caught between my teeth so that my fingernails won't be as brittle next time around. Probably not though but you know you have to at least try.

I've been thinking about my life a lot, and I just think something's gone horribly wrong. I don't think its supposed to be like this. I wasn't supposed to live this life I think. Like I was definitely a cis man until 2 years ago. Like I don't think you could argue against that, maybe the guy was gay or something but he was nothing close to trans. I barely remember him. Its all bits and pieces, not even the bits that have any reason to be memorable, just things that I remember. I shouldn't be in this head, in this body, in whatever this is. But like looking back its really hard to draw a line from him and from me. Maybe I'm making it all up, and its just something that just happens with being 13. Maybe its normal, but I don't know.

Going back to my mental state and all that, like a few months back my psychologist told me about a study about HRT and developing brains, and like I don't really care about it. But they will be paying me and I do like money so obviously I got on board with it. But like they don't accept neurodivergent people in the study, and like thats fine I guess I don't know a lot about brains but there's probably differences in brain structure maybe, so like I don't know if I'm neurodivergent or its just depression or something, and I don't want to talk about it because I want enough plausible deniability so I can still get some money.

But I had some real fun yesterday. Not in real life, but online. I got to become friends with someone I like very much. And that makes yesterday one of the best days I've had in a while.

[satari-raine]

So, my work - a university - has apparently been dealing with lower enrollment alongside an increased minimum number of students required per class for the class to be registered and given to a teacher to teach. Because of that, I just found out today that I lost two of my three classes (with three being my max as an adjunct) for next semester.

This will drastically lower my income to where I won't make ends meet come January unless I find another job. Given how this one came in like some sort of miracle after being unemployed from this January to July, I'm really worried, anxious, and scared.

I had savings, but they just went to getting new glasses since I hadn't had an exam in almost two years with my current prescription being even older. I'm grateful I'll still have one course to teach, but as of now, I just don't know what to do.

I was wanting to start really building my savings again. Maybe move out, and finally get my own place - something small but just for me, as where I live currently and who I live with now is a kind of double-edged sword; it's okay financially, but overall not so great for my mental health.

So, um, yeah. Just feeling a bit hopeless. Sorry for the sad spot on the dashboard today, everyone. Going to try to job hunt again once my students' final exams are over next week.

Hope you all are doing okay, though - rooting for you, as always.

[xxxxhannyxxxx]

Chapter 10

Leaving both Heeseung and Jake Behind you decide to walk around a bit more browsing at the different clubs looking for new members. As you receive flyers from different clubs you aren't sure which one you wanted to join since you were interested in a couple, so you decide to browse a bit more before choosing one. Thankfully they give the students a week before deciding on a club, so sleeping on it sounded better then deciding then and there.

After walking around a bit more you decided to stop at a café between the school and your apartment. As you walked in you choose a seat in the corner next to the window, you ordered yourself an Iced Matcha latte and some bread to snack on while looking over some of the flyers, from the ones you got the only ones that caught your attention and you had interest in was between joining the College dance team or learning self defense especially after everything that had been going on.

You decided to Send Chan a message to see if he had time to meet up for a bit and you waned to ask him for his opinion plus you wanted to see him.

Yeseul Hey Chan, are you busy?

Chan

Hey! I don't have work for another 2 hours, what's up?

Yeseul

I just wanted to ask you something, plus I'm bored

Chan

Sure, Where you at I'll head right over

And with that you sent him the address to the café you were at and ordered him something for when he arrived. As you were waiting you over two girls talking about how they are in love with the feeling and ecstasy they feel when having their blood drunk by a Vampire and how much lighter they felt afterwards. You knew it was allowed in certain business that were open but to hear someone talking about it openly was odd to you. You asked yourself if it would be weird if possibly someone had overheard that conversation and how they would be viewed but from the looks of it they didn't care at all.

 Soon enough Chan arrived and he took the seat across from you.

Chan: "So how was your first day back?" he asked.

Yeseul: "Boring, they just talked about the same thing they did last year except for the fact there will be more security around the school" you said as you took a sip from your drink.

Yeseul: "Oh, and the fact that Heeseung and his group of friends are also attending this semester" you say as you roll your eyes remembering your interaction with him earlier that day.

Chan: "So THEY are attending as well?" he said with slight annoyance.

Yeseul: "Yeah, supposedly they transferred over this semester but I also think they know the Dean personally. I had seen Heeseung talking to her when I had come to get my schedule But when you said They, do you know his friends?" you thought maybe they were connected to your past as well but seeing how Heeseung was being with you, you shook the thought away.

Chan: "You could say I know Them, but I'm not here to talk about Heeseung am I Yeseul" Chan said trying to change the subject.

Yeseul: "You're right, actually I wanted to ask for your opinion" you say as you pull out the club flyers.

Chan: "Having trouble deciding on which club to join?" He said as he grabbed the two flyers.

Yeseul: "Yeah, I hadn't joined any last semester Since Rose and I would go out every weekend, but now maybe it would be a Good Idea"

As Chan looked over the flyers, you looked out the window lost in thought remembering all the Good memories you had with Rose, but with her being gone joining a club would be a good idea to keep your mind busy. She did always say once you both got bored of going out constantly you would both join the Try-outs for Cheerleading which is why you grabbed their flyer.

Chan: "If you want to Learn Self Defense Myself and the Rest of the group can teach you?"

Yeseul: "Would you really? Are you sure? I wouldn't want to take any little free time you have since you do work." You say

Chan: "I'm sure, plus I Know the kids wouldn't mind it at all, they have been wanting to hangout again since the last time plus you'll have more fun Cheerleading if you make it in" He says with a smile.

And with that it had been decided, Chan had said He would send you a message to work out a schedule after Cheer tryouts and talking with the boys.

a few days had passed and it was Finally Friday, the day of Tryouts as you try to shake off your nervous you receive a Message from Chan, "Good luck, I know you'll do great" It said and with that you knew no matter the outcome you did your best.

As you headed to the Gym You see that basketball Tryouts had just finished and then you see Heeseung walking out with Two other boys one was Jake and the other you did not recognize but the fact they were together meant it was another one of his friends. You also weren't surprised He tried out for the team and you also couldn't lie that you were a little curious if he had made it or not.

Heeseung: "Well look who it is!" He said says as he walks over to you.

You can't help but roll your eyes as you see him.

Yeseul: "Hi to you too I guess" you say.

Jake: "Hi Yeseul" He says with a smile

Ni-ki: "So this is Yeseul, Nice to meet you I'm Ni-ki" he says.

Does Ni-ki know who you are and who did he hear it from Jake or Heeseung.

Yeseul: "Nice to meet you Ni-ki but i got to run, Can't be late for tryouts" You say as you head off.

As you entered the Gym you head over to the bleachers to place your stuff down and you make your way over to where the rest of the girls are at. You start off stretching seeing as there is still time before you start when you see Heeseung, Jake and Ni-ki walk in. As they take their seats on the bleachers One of the squad girls notifies us that tryouts were going to start.

As they start the routine some of the girl pick it up while other struggle, thankfully you were having a grasp of it and slowly girls started being let go. From the 8 that were left only four of you were going to make it in but before moving on to the next routine they give you a 10 minute break.

Heeseung: "Here drink some water" He says as he walks up to you and hands you a bottle of water.

Yeseul: "oh um, thank you" You say as you grab the bottle. And there he goes being nice and for some reason making your heart waver.

He walks away soon after taking a seat back on the Bleachers and tryouts continue. Finally it came down to a decision, Three names had already been called out and you were hoping yours was as well and soon enough you hear your name. You're happy you made it and you know Rose would be too as you look over you see Heeseung mouth out Congratulations and that made you Happy.

Back to masterlist

Chapter 9

[streamdotpng]

Hei~its curious Anon✌️

......

damn, i was gone for a few days, and now you have a new anons.

Anyway, I have a new idea.

I call this.....

... fusion au..?

ok, so this au is a combination of t&t, hermit enid and stream enid.

So, just like in t&t, enid met the elders, she was adopted and also trained by them

long story short, during semester 2, unlike in your original story, the elders didn't let enid return to nevermore, it made Wednesday worried and confused, so she wanted to find out what happened to enid...

Coincidentally, Enid has a twin, so Wednesday asks them about Enid.

(imagine how it feels when the person you like become close to your twin because they talk about you😂)

just say until 3-4 months, the elders allowed enid to return to nevermore (at that time the stalker incident had been resolved by Wednesday and enid's twin)

when enid came back, they were all very surprised (Wednesday and enid's twin because of how much enid has changed, and enid because her twin and wednesday have become close)

and......blah blah blah

enid and her twin have feelings for wednesday and try to court her

in the end wednesday fell in love with enid.

but it turns out that enid's twin said that enid has no right to be with Wednesday (I don't think that enid's twin is that type of person but sometimes there are people who will do anything to have the person they love) or maybe they will say that they can make Wednesday happier than enid.

what her twin said made enid feel insecure, so when Wednesday confessed her feelings to her, enid rejected it and saying something like “you deserve someone better than me”😑.

why am i making this again?

I should be studying for the exam next week😩

anyway that was just part 1

I will continue if I want 😂😂🤣

Don't think too much about this story, I'm just bored

btw there is something that makes me curious (I'm curious anon after all✌️)

Why are wednesday and enid's twins always fighting?

ok that's it, hope you have a nice day

bye.

(I'll be back later....just you wait😈😈)

-curious Anon✌️

you're just fucking over enid at this point, its just L after L 😭 sure hanging with the elders would be cool and stuff but if we're going how i'd write her

Want smth? take it is literally one of their morals and why Enid is stuck with them in the first place. She isn't afraid to latch onto that rationality and merc her twin in the process

also uh, idk why tf twin and wednesday are fighting

maybe twin got jelly that wednesday is spending alot of time with enid ionno

[losterthanlost]

Some words...

Before the year 2023 comes to an end, I just like to write everything that's going on my mind right now, with all honesty. Right now, at this moment I am sitting at my desk. I haven't finished a single homework nor started to study any subject. I did manage to finish 15 episodes of The Red Sleeve. But I am not going to talk about that now.

While eating breakfast, it came to my mind that, maybe, the reason I can no longer write a resolution list for the new year like I did back in 2020 or something, is because I feel like I'm at the end already. I feel like I've already realized all that I need to realize as a human. I don't say this arrogantly. I have no pride in my heart as I say this. I do feel stuck though. I used to tell myself, as a remedy for when I slack, that I have not met the roof of my potential yet. However, lately, I feel like I reached it already and I just overestimated myself for thinking it would be higher than this. Maybe this is the reason that I can no longer adapt to the current demands of my life. I can no longer keep up with the demands of college education.

I have another thought about this, too. While completing the data I needed for one of our lab reports, I suddenly realized that I am a perfectionist. The bad kind of perfectionist who never once achieved perfection. Our instructor only asked us to complete the data. It doesn't even have to be very accurate. I just have to understand the process of the activity and the significance of it in our field. That's all I need to do to finish it.

As of writing, I have not finished the report yet. All that is left for me to do is read the instructions again and note down in detail what I have to do with the data. The problem with this is that I do try to read it then I stop and think about the drama I'm watching then go watch it again. Then after watching, I talk about it in my Twitter account and then go through under the hashtags the thoughts of other people who watched the same episode. Then it's either I feel sleepy already or guilty, and I finally decide it's enough. But if the posts under the hashtags are too intriguing, it would be enough to convince me to play the next episode. Today, I just finished episode 15. I want to finish the last two episodes on New Year's Day. Or until I've done all my pending requirements. I should do that. I will feel empty again if I finish the episode before the semester ends. I will have nothing to look forward to anymore.

Right now, I'll be honest. I think, if my life ends now, it's okay. Another day alive means another day to eat, drink, use electricity, use water, take up space, breathe in oxygen, and breathe out carbon dioxide. Another day alive means more things consumed. It seems clear to me now that I have no scholarship anymore. All I have to do is submit my letter of appeal and then they will reply with a message that I am no longer a scholar. I have no choice but to ask my parents for money whenever I need anything. Imagine how embarrassing that is for my age. In situations like this, people will say I should just get a job. I can't do that. I can if I don't care about my studies. I'm still struggling with a slump that's been going on since 2019. I still haven't cured this. Although my feelings and views in life have improved since then, my skills only got worse.

Like I said earlier, I am struggling to write anything. Writing, especially in English, is a crucial skill in my life. Without it, I might not be able to reach graduation. However, seeing that I already wrote this much in full English, saying I don't know how to write anymore feels ironic. Maybe this entry is proof that I still can write. Maybe the problem really lies with my feelings and expectations of myself. [...]

While washing the dishes and listening to AI narration of everything I had written before this current paragraph, I thought about letting go of high school. As in, everything connected to my high school. I honestly have no desire to stay around them anymore. I would rather them forget about me so that if ever we meet again, they'll know me as whoever I am at that moment and will not associate me with who I was in the past. I am a different person now. Now, I treat my friends better, treat myself better, communicate my thoughts and feelings better, clean stuff better, socialize better -- really just know better.

However, I am also now the opposite of stellar. I can't survive simple quizzes without studying anymore. I am now at the same level as my average classmates in elementary. I don't say this to mean I look down on them. I don't. I really don't. But I think it added pressure on me to maintain my place. So now I want to get rid of this thinking. Thinking of levels; that there is a thing called levels. I am a different person now. I will have to start building myself with who and what I am right now, and no longer about who and what I am in the past.

[dearmomimissyou]

So today is my first day off since starting at pizza hut. The second or maybe third day I thought I was gunna no show quit but I pushed through and honestly I love it. My body has been aching from the work be ause I'm not used to moving anymore and my muscles weren't getting enough protein probably to repair themselves proper cause I have a lack of appetite. But hopefully now it'll be better.

It's been a really fucking crazy week honestly. I got the letter from my therapist last Tuesday and this Wednesday I'm gunna talk to the student success coach again to get my stuff submitted so thag I can hopefully finish up either next semester or within the next year.

I also talked to Manuel for the first time in a while. He's not doing great at all. Apparently he was dating Hailey and she broke up with him and he just spiraled. He lost his job and his family is worried about him n shit. He was doing coke before they broke up but it apparently stopped getting him high or euphoric so he switched to crack but after the breakup it only made him feel normal instead of up so he said he was done with it too.

We hung out today in person and talked. It was kinda nice but it was also super fucking triggering. We drove down Magna main and I just kept remembering you taking us down there all the time so you could see your dealer. I've come to realize that I can't have a partner that does drugs. It's too much for me to deal with. I think even weed is unfortunately in thag too. Which sucks because it seems like everybody's doing weed now. Even dad is taking gummies. But the last time I got high I thought I was going to die and I don't need a fucking repeat of that.

I was feeling great this week for the most part after that day of depression or whatever. But now I'm just. I don't know if I am depressed or empty or what honestly. Part of me thinks that maybe I feel guilty for how Manuel's doing especially since I've been doing much better with my new meds and going to therapy every week again. Plus my new job. I cried a lot while we hung out and I honestly don't know why.

I used to wish that Manuel was trans so he could transition and be my gf. But I'm realizing that that's just me wanting the idealized version of him to be my gf and not actually him. Which honestly scares the fuck outta me be ause I do really want a partner but will I be able to love them for them or for the idealized version of them in my head. Maybe that's something I should talk about in therapy. I don't know.

Honestly I'm worried that dbt isn't what I need right now. Like I definitely think going to skills group will help a lot. But I don't actually remember what therapy was like outside of that.

I was supposed to have written up a list of things that I want to work on through dbt and I haven't really done that. Maybe when I wake up and clean I'll be able to think better.

Oh yeah that's another thing. I've been doing great about like brushing my teeth every night and every day I went to work I changed my underwear and like put on deodorant n stuff. But I haven't actually like cleaned my room or put laundry away. Like I know that you don't get better all at once but it just feels weird idk.

Gunna try n sleep so have some energy to clean up at least the rotting food on my desk tomorrow. Hopefully that'll roll into me fully cleaning the desk and maybe the rest of my room. Maybe do some laundry cause I do need to wash my work clothes.

Sorry this was all over the place. My brains been everywhere and nowhere since I started working. Here's hoping it's a good thing for me.

Love you always.

[farer-dreamer]

Entry 1

Intro

(8/29/2024) - Welcome to the next roughly six+ months of my life! maybe more! oh boy!

Here is where I'm going to be documenting my overall thoughts and development on my senior thesis project, as it is required as a part of the grade that I keep a devlog. Posting it here wasn't a part of that requirement, but I thought it'd be easier to share. Whether you're a friend I sent this to or someone just happening upon my little corner of the web, welcome! I'm going to be doing a lot of yapping <3

For the time being I've named this project Farer Dreamer. In summary, it's a 3D (…maybe sometimes 2.5D) exploration game where you ride a subway car to… well wherever it decides to take you really. You'll explore the random levels the subway takes you to and maybe meet some interesting characters on your journey.

Admittedly this project is more of a last minute decision as opposed to something that's been marinating in the back of my mind for the past four years, but maybe that's for the best. With how I'm currently envisioning this project going, this thesis is only the beginning of what could be a larger thing if I so choose to continue working on it after the due date. I can add as much or as little as I want, as long as I get the basic gameplay loop working I'll be happy. Of course I'll try to shoot for more than just that but I also am not going to bite off more than I can chew.

I can already foresee my biggest challenge with this project being the 3D elements, as most of the games I have made in the past have been 2D. I do have experience with 3D modeling, texturing, animation, and some rigging but it's definitely something I'd like to get better at and I think this would be a nice way of doing just that! But outside of using this as an opportunity to really polish the new skills I've accumulated throughout my time at school (3D, animation, and GASP! coding… the horror!)

Another thing I think I am going to struggle a bit with is with working collaboratively. Not in the sense that I'm opposed to that and haven't done collaborative work in the past, one of my finals last semester was a game the my entire game concepts 2 class worked on together, and I've happily helped out on numerous friends films. But my struggle here would be that this is the first time I'd be welcoming help on a project that I am directing, as my other projects in the past have been solo endeavors. I definitely have some trouble when it comes to reaching out for help outside of my friend group, but this will be a great opportunity for me to do just that I think.

I want this project to serve as a way for me to reconnect with art and why I do it. See, for awhile now I've been grappling with myself if I've made a mistake going down this path, fearing that I'm not cut out for the work, that I've lost my passion and that I should've pursued something else instead. Realistically, I know a lot of that is that annoying negative inner voice most of us have to battle, but there is a crumb of truth to all this moping: the loss of passion. As I've gotten closer and closer to entering the professional world, I've been noticing that I am almost restricting myself in my art and what I make and put out into the world in what I only assume to be an attempt to be AS appealing and corporate/professional as possible when that's just?? not me. at all. Though again I do feel like at least part of this is coming from that little internal voice that likes to chew me out for literally anything I find enjoyment in that's even remotely "cringe". POINT IS, this has lead to what I've been calling a "disconnect" between myself and my art and why I create, leading to me feeling shame for my work and it's been impacting my enthusiasm for art overall. I'm hoping by allowing myself to experiment and "play" with my art again through this project, that I'll be able to rekindle some of that passion I've been losing.

TLDR; The main core idea of my thesis is that you can really just sit down and make a thing and now that exists in the world, and even if it's not perfect.. if it's weird, messy, or whatever, that's pretty damn neat and deserves a place in the world. I've realized that more often than not with my projects I spend too much time stressing about them being perfect instead of enjoying the process of creating them and/or using them as opportunities to learn, explore, and maybe even get silly with it y'know? I feel like the projects where I've allowed myself to get silly with it often wind up being my favorite works, and I hope this winds up being one of those.