#this scene is so emotional and impactful because it's through her view

[fromtheseventhhell]

"Please," she said. "He is my son. My first son, and my last. Let him go. Let him go and I swear we will forget this...forget all you've done here. I swear it by the old gods and new, we...we will take no vengeance..."

--

It tickles. That made her laugh until she screamed. “Mad,” someone said, “she’s lost her wits,” and someone else said, “Make an end,” and a hand grabbed her scalp just as she’d done with Jinglebell, and she thought, No, don’t, don’t cut my hair, Ned loves my hair. Then the steel was at her throat, and its bite was red and cold.

[allthebestcowboyshavedaddyissues]

"SMG is the only one acting well in this scene" Angel is completely disoriented after months of not being himself and she stabs him within a minute of 'gaining consciousness'

[whimsyfinny]

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: Charlie discovers the Winchester boys to be struggling with keeping the bunker tidy, looking after themselves and being able to do their job simultaneously. Luckily she has a friend who’s from a Hunter family that is in need of work and can help them with research. Or so she thought that’s what her job would be. When Dean sees your more domesticated side, his head won’t stop swimming with all the wrong ideas.

Slow burn, enemies to lovers, smut

Warnings: none

Chapter Word Count: 1903

—-MDNI—-

A/N: the last few chapters have been a bit wild with the emotions, so let’s have some feel-good bullshit. It’s a slightly shorter chapter because this was the best place to leave it. Otherwise it would’ve been waaaayyyyy too long. Also I wrote most of this in one sitting and has only been proof read once, so let me know of any errors.

New readers start here: Prologue

Previous Chapter: Chapter 12

I’m Not Your F*cking Maid

Chapter 13

The next twenty four hours passed by without incident. Films were watched - with Deans personal commentary - and snacks were munched. Sam dipped in and out, occasionally joining us for the films and scenes he preferred as we watched the entire Lord of the Rings extended edition box set, followed by a short intermission before we continued with all three of the Hobbit films.

“I mean, the Rudy-hobbit is clearly the true hero. Dude saved the day on multiple occasions. Plus I bet he’s jacked,” Dean spoke through a mouthful of popcorn.

“I know, I’m not arguing with you on this one; I completely agree. Frodo would’ve been fucked without him.” As I reached for my fifth hot chocolate Sam strode in, pj’s adorned, and hopped into the nest of blankets we’d made on my bed.

“You have to remember though that Frodo was under a great deal of pressure from wearing the ring all the time. I mean, when you think about how many men it had corrupted over the years, it’s incredible that a hobbit lasted as long as he did. Sam never had that burden,” Sam joined the conversation with his view on the matter whilst reaching for a handful of Deans popcorn and receiving nothing but a defensive slap on the knuckles.

“Yeah… no. Rudy-hobbit for the win still,” the older Winchester frowned at his younger brother, deciding that this topic was not up for negotiation. Sam huffed, rummaging through the bag of snacks he'd bought earlier and pulled out a tub of mini chocolate chip cookies.

“I mean, I’m surprised that you’re not siding with your namesake Sam. I would’ve thought you’d have been all over that,” I joined the debate again, reaching for a cookie to which Sam graciously let me take a few.

Dean's eyes lit up as he clocked what Sam had opened and started munching on.

“To be honest I don’t think that impacts a character's personality.”

Dean and I both snorted out a laugh.

“What?” Sam looked between us quizzically.

“Oh, being called Sam definitely impacts a character's personality,” Dean said whilst reaching for the cookie tub, only to have a taste of his own medicine with a slap to his hand.

“What the- no it doesn’t.”

Dean and I shared a look and answered in perfect unison.

“Yes it does.”

“You guys, seriously-”

“Everybody needs a Sam,” I raised my hot chocolate mug, to which Dean returned the toast by clinking his own hot chocolate mug with mine; copious amounts of whipped cream threatening to spill over as he repeated:

“Everybody needs a Sam.”

Sam huffed even harder than last time, shaking his head in annoyance despite the small grin on his lips.

“You guys are ridiculous.”

“Yeah but you love us really,” I poked him affectionately in the ribs.

“Sure, you keep telling yourself that.”

There were a few moments of silence; Sam likely being grateful that the topic of conversation was coming to an end. Or at least so he thought.

“I mean, if you really think about it,” Dean had no intention of dropping the discussion just yet, spitting his words through another large mouthful of popcorn. “Sam is probably one of the most popular names in pop culture.”

Sam raised his eyebrows at his brother.

“Oh yeah? And you’re a ‘pop culture’ enthusiast now?”

Dean ignored the sarcastic jab before carrying on. Either that or he was totally oblivious to it.

“You’ve got Sam from Lord of the Rings, Sam from Game of Thrones, Looney Tunes Gunslinger Sam, Sam from Cap’n ‘Merica, Sam from Transformers, Sam from The Thing, Sam from The Lost Boys, Sam from Tron:Legacy, Sam fro-”

“OK! I get it, Dean. You can stop now, geez…” Sam rubbed his temples, perhaps a little over dramatically. I turned to Dean, grinning and giving him a little pat on the arm.

“Hot dayum Dean! You do know pop culture!”

He tried to hide his smug grin behind a sip of his drink.

“What can I say? It’s how I get so lucky with the ladies.”

I raised an eyebrow.

“Seriously?”

He returned the eyebrow gesture with a wiggle from both of his. Before he even had a chance to verbally respond I snapped my fingers and spun around to Sam.

“Don’t forget Dr Seuss! Sam I Am!”

Sam rolled his eyes and shook his head as Dean brought his hands together in a single loud, crisp, clap.

“Yes! Nice one,” he held his hand up for a high five, to which I returned with great enthusiasm. He leaned forwards to look past me to his brother and put on a terrible British accent, “yes, Sam I am, where art thou green eggs and ham?”

“That’s it!” Sam threw his hands up and jumped up off the bed. “You guys are nuts; you need to go outside and touch some grass or something.”

I pouted.

“What? Nooo.”

“Yeah I’m with the princess on this one; really not interested in looking at the sky today.”

I turned to Dean, my hand over my heart and a playful smile on my lips.

“Aww, Dean, you think I’m a princess?”

“Yeah, an unhinged princess with an attitude problem.”

“Fuck you.”

“There it is.”

Sam stood watching, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“How much sugar have you two had? Like seriously?”

“I don’t know, maybe a farm's worth?” Dean spoke nonchalantly as he lowered his mug to reveal a whipped cream moustache. Part of me had the urge to lick it off, and the other part of me wanted to not tell him about it and let him walk around all day like that. Sam wasn’t like me though, and quickly signalled to his brother with a tap of his finger that he needed to wipe his face.

“We're going out. Shopping. I need a new jacket and Dean, you can't hide that hole in your boots any longer,” Sam stood with his hands on his hips as he listened to us both groan and slump harder into our nest of blankets.

“Do we have to…?” I whined in a childlike manner that definitely justified Sam's ‘annoyed mother' demeanour.

“Yes! Now get up and get dressed, the pair of you. I'll be waiting in the garage in 15 minutes.”

As Sam left my room, Dean and I let out a long, dramatically exasperated sigh, pulling the blankets up to our chin.

“Since when did we let him boss us around?” Dean stared up at the ceiling.

I shrugged.

“Since he's normally the one to buy us food?”

He hummed and nodded slightly in agreement.

“You're probably right- hey what are you doing?” It was like I'd stolen pie from Deans grasp when I threw the blankets back and hopped out of bed, shuffling into the bathroom to turn the shower on.

“Getting ready to go out. Obviously,” my words were shortly followed by the familiar clanking of the plumbing in my en suite, causing Dean to raise his eyebrows.

“Has it always done that?”

“Yup,” I popped the ‘P’ as I rummaged through the lack of clothing in my draws and duffle bag, making a mental note to also purchase some clothes whilst we were out.

“Want me to take a look?” He sat up, clearing his throat, masculinity all of a sudden oozing from his pores at the opportunity to be a man and fix something.

“You think you could?” I busied about arranging an outfit on my bed, too preoccupied to look at him and witness his growing smirk, his arms folding across his broad chest.

“Sweetheart, you of all people should know how good I am with my hands.”

I gawped at him as my head shot up to see him saunter over to where I was stood, the corners of my open mouth turning up as I playfully slapped him on the chest with the top I was going to wear.

“Do you have to turn everything so filthy?”

“You make it so easy; lookin’ like you do. Plus…” he tilted his head. I responded by tilting mine, urging him to continue - though I'd probably regret it.

“I know what face you make when you come; that shit lives rent free,” he tapped his temple with a devilish grin on his lips, his comment pulling a shocked gasp from my lungs at his crudeness - though I was grinning the whole time.

“That's it, get out and go get dressed,” I evaded his reaching hands as I ducked under his arm and pushed on his back, nudging him towards the door.

“Aww, no joint shower?” He pouted.

“What? No! That's a boyfriend privilege! Like time I checked, we were just fuck buddies.”

He seemed to think for a second, like he debated saying something that was right on the tip of his tongue, but he swallowed it down and said calmly:

“Yeah that's fair.”

*

It didn't take long for me to get ready - promising to myself I'd wash my hair this evening to keep my shower quick. Whilst getting dressed I'd pulled on some jeans that were definitely a size too small; the denim hugging my thighs and ass excruciatingly tight - albeit they looked fantastic - and every time I bent over the button and belt buckle dug into the soft skin just below my belly button. I sighed, knowing how annoying this was going to be all day despite not having anything else to wear that was clean or not one of Charlie's sexy outfits. I tugged my tank top over my head; it doing very little to hide the sudden appearance of a muffin top and causing me to sigh again. I looked around for my flannel, hoping that would help but not finding it anywhere. After a few minutes I admitted defeat, putting on my boots and leaving my room.

As I hurried down to the garage I clocked a black, white and grey flannel hanging on the back of a chair. Not caring that it wasn't mine, I grabbed it and threw it on, rolling up the long sleeves to just below my elbow, the hem of the shirt dropping to just below my ass. Perfect.

As I continued my walk and having completely forgotten that I'd thrown the shirt on, I strolled hurriedly into the garage; the heavenly sound of the impala rumbling as the engine ticked over. Spotting Sam and Dean already in the front of the car, I slid into the back seat just being Sam with both boys muttering a greeting before Dean put Baby in reverse, resting his arm on the seat behind Sam as he twisted to look out the rear window. He did a double take when we looked at me, an unusual expression befalling his features that I couldn't quite place.

“You're wearing my shirt?” His voice was low, which I don't think he intended.

“Oh uhhh, I couldn't find mine so I used the first one I saw. I can take it off?”

“Don't,” it came out quick, surprising us both, “I mean, it looks good on you. You should keep it.”

I couldn't stop the warmth blooming in my cheeks.

“Thank you. And if you're really ok with that? I'd…I'd love to keep it. Thanks Dean.”

As we pulled away I saw his smile reach his eyes in the rearview mirror.

“Anytime, sweetheart.”

————————————���—————————

Up Next: Chapter 14

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@suckitands33 @jackles010378 @aliceeinwonderland420 @tina-theslytherin @deans-queen @hobby27 @sobearcowboy @girls-alias @selfdestructionandrhum @ericasabe @lacilou @littlemadamred @anneanirac @deans-baby-momma @swimregulas @ashdoctor @littlemarvelstan8 @atcamillanorrman @deangirl96 @zannemes @kr804573 @foxyjwls007 @divadinag @cookiemonstermusic258 @mysterialee @ababy-girl @joonseuph0ria @mxltifxnd0m @deans-spinster-witch @st4bl3-ch40s @feyresqueen @roseblue373 @clusterfuck-meup @urinternetmom @rachiem4-blog @ceeshellecee @mojos-hidden-castle @snowayumi @evzyi @mymuseisbipolar @magssteenkamp @koharuheartfilia @spookyysinsanity @safiyas-world @uncle-eggy @happyt0exist @supernaturalstilinski @h0n3y-l3m0n05 @mrsjenniferwinchester

[herejusttosufferalong]

Attachment Style Anon Here

I appreciate everyone’s comments on my last post regarding L/A. There was a lot more I could have added but I was worried it was too long… 

A few things I wanted to mention before I dive into L/N:

everyone has an attachment style, usually there is a combo but only one is dominate

There is a direct correlation between your attachment style and your personality traits 

Your attachment style can change after an impactful relationship (good and bad) 

I am a woman in STEM who researches behavioral styles and has been focused this past year on attachment styles (sorry if I come across clinical sometimes in my messaging) 

I wanted to understand why the chemistry between L & N seemed so 🔥 and intense in a way that we haven’t seen before.

I already established my thoughts on L’s attachment style in the last post. I’ll move onto N - my analysis of her is based on her personality traits and what she projects out into the world because of how little she shares of her private life. 

Overall, N’s dominate attachment style is Secure.I think it’s easy to see her secure attachment through her actions: i.e. her stable family life and the close bond that they clearly share, her ability to be private showcases someone who doesn’t need validation, general confidence in the way she presents herself, but ultimately its the way that other speak of her that showcases her secure nature. She had stated  in past interviews that she didn’t necessarily believe in love, gave some vague answers regarding her views on relationships etc. Speculation: at some point she was hurt by some type of relationship that temporarily that made her cautious of attachment in general, but ultimately her foundation is secure. 

A Secure person will essentially be compatible with anyone. The ultimate life goal is for a secure person to find another secure person, however the second most compatible relationship is a secure + anxious relationship (i.e. N + L = dominate attachments)

Surface level, they do gravitate towards one another because they are able to match each other needs. This is where I feel we see a “different Luke” when he’s with Nicola. He is different because his needs are being met when he’s with her and vice versa. 

Nicola’s verbal praise helps quell Luke’s fear of unworthiness. We have seen her time and time again, hype him up because she understands that he struggles with his anxiety. L’s strengths would be that anxious attachment people are very protective and are attuned to their partner’s needs. Nicola may be secure but she has emotional needs as well. Where we saw this was the interview where they watched the final scene and Nicola started to cry, they snuggled and he checked in with her. Also he checked in with on the Dublin red carpet. What he provides to her might be more subtle in terms of frequency but it’s impactful to her.  

The key to the success of this relationship is an establishment of a foundational communication level (i.e. verbal and non-verbal) - something that N + L have done probably subconsciously. We’ve seen a few BTS footage and interviews where they’ve said that they’ve been able to communicate with just looks. It think this along with their matching attachment style is where we see the actual magic - it’s that energy they put out of knowing each other so well that everyone around them feels their attuned energy. 

At the end of the day however, while the secure person has the ability to uplift an anxious person to a secure level, the opposite I also true. The secure individual tends to be the more dominate in the relationship and can hold more power within it. Luke will more than likely always be the best version of himself when he’s with Nicola, however unless he puts in the work to overcome his insecurities, the relationship won’t have any real legs. It would eventually becoming draining to Nicola. 

thank you anon for sharing

you were able to so succinctly express and give vision to my exact thoughts/feelings on their dynamic in a more academic way

💜

[percheduphere]

It troubles me when fans find Loki in his own tv series "out of character". Since the first Thor movie, Loki has shown a certain sweetness, protectiveness, and level-headedness that was overcome and eventually self-suppressed by rage and tragedy. He didn't have an environment in which he could thrive and, in Frigga's words, succeed at being who he truly is.

Loki desperately needed a support system outside his immediate family. That support system simply couldn't have been built on Asgard because of:

1. Odin's political machinations, including the intentional creation of an environment rife with sibling rivalry and blatant favoritism.

2. The racist if not xenophobic views of Asgardians.

3. The inherent masculine-dominant, warrior society culture of Asgard.

To break Loki out of his self-destructive patterns, it took the empathy of 1 brainwashed and memory-wiped TVA analyst to rightly recognize that Loki as a person has incredible potential and that he could actively do something about it. That Mobius uses this reasoning for the advantage of the TVA (then under HWR's helm) is a plot point I'll discuss later, but the fact still stands: Loki was given a second chance to be who he really is because of the choice Mobius made to intervene. Loki would have been pruned before he would have had the opportunity to meet Sylvie, B-15, Casey, and OB. This is fact.

Mobius literally drops everything--the case he's actively investigating--to intervene. The fact a minuteman immediately reports the variant of Loki he is most interested in has been taken into custody suggests that Mobius has been planning this intervention for some time.

Some fans hate Mobius for his treatment of Loki in the first episode. It is, indeed, manipulative, condescending, and to a certain extent, emotionally abusive. I'm not denying any of this, but from a narrative perspective, Mobius, to be a fully well-rounded character, necessarily must have his own flaws and personal conflicts to battle. Loki's evolution as a character, and thus his positive impact on others, would be missing an emotional beat of mutual reciprocation otherwise. That emotional beat pays off in every episode of S2, culminating in the final scene of the final episode. This is to say nothing of the likelihood that Loki would not have been receptive to any form of gentleness at that point in time to begin with.

Crucially, Mobius gets Loki to admit that his villainous persona is exactly that: an illusion constructed in a bid for control. Some viewers might interpret this scene as a shortcut for getting Loki to behave "out of character" by S1E2, but Thor 2 proves otherwise:

This scene with Thor demonstrates that Loki has a high pain tolerance and is adept at hiding pain. His need to mask his vulnerability, and how that vulnerability is intrinsically tied with the misplaced shame of who he is, resonates deeply with queer, people of color, immigrant, colonized, and adopted fans, many of whom have intersectional lived experiences (including myself). I believe it is for this reason that so many of us are desperate for blatant representation in mainstream entertainment, and to shame us for the sin of hoping is disturbing.

But I digress. Frigga, Thor, and now Mobius are among the few who can see through Loki's deception. That deception has the unfortunate effect of hurting not only innocent civillians but his loved ones and himself (closeting, internalized racism).

Once Loki is able to drop that persona through admission, however, he is able to relax and be himself in the TVA. And in being himself, Loki is consequently able to love himself, which manifests through loving Sylvie. S1 shows Loki holding her up on a romantic pedestal: he chases after her, he sings a song for her, he wants her to be okay. He loves her, yes, and though it appears she does not reciprocate (in my opinion, your mileage might vary), Sylvie does love Loki enough back to buy him a drink and counsel him about what he really wants. This scene is critical in Loki's development in the same way Mobius sheds light on his potential to be whoever he wants.

Both Mobius and Sylvie are integral for Loki to arrive at his turning point, his ultimate sacrifice. Loki loves Sylvie. He therefore chooses to not kill her. Killing her, moreover, would not solve the issue of free will. Sylvie is right in believing free will, and thus the multiverse, is right and necessary. Sylvie's moral question and Loki sparing her life, answers Mobius's belief that Loki can be whoever he wants.

On the other side of this coin, watching Mobius in the final scene, hearing Mobius whisper, "Let time pass..." answers Sylvie's question of what Loki wants, and what he want more deeply than not being alone is for his friends, most especially Mobius (whom he also loves and cares for most, to LIVE.

The series ends with only 2 characters heartbroken with the outcome of Loki's heroism, which Mobius knew existed within him from the beginning. He saw those little but important moments: Loki comforting his brother, Loki protecting Jane, Loki giving up his life to buy Thor time, and so much more, he saw and he knew Frigga's words were right.

[stellar-mop]

The Coffin of Andy and Leyley has me thinking about gender and gender roles a lot. I know other people have done more in-depth analysis of this, but I'm just gonna throw my thoughts out into the void of tumblr (the void is welcome to yell back, just be nice please)

I think one of the things that makes these characters fascinating especially for me as a vaguely-agender nonbinary person is like the places I can see where their gender is impacting their interactions and choices. Like changing the gender of the characters would fundamentally change their story and personality (love y'all's genderswap AUs tho, this is not an objection).

Something I'm not sure how to articulate super well is how the game interacts with like neurodivergence gender stereotypes. On the surface level they line up with the "women are emotional and men aren't allowed to show feelings" set of gender stereotypes. But I think there's another layer if you look at it through the lens of how societal pressures around mental illness and gender intersect especially in like school-aged kids/teens. Like Andrew being the "easy child" and Ashley being... Ashley. In not-particularly-nuanced terms: "boy" neurodivergence shows as acting out and being a problem child (which Ashley does), and "girl" neurodivergence gets hidden via masking and passivity (which Andrew does). I think it's neat that this is contrary to societal expectations - like this would be a very different story if Andrew was a pushy chaotic mess and Ashley was apathetic but seething under the surface. Because gender! What's even up with that?

Less sfw thoughts under the cut, including some coffincest stuff. Warnings for unhealthy relationships and attitudes towards sex:

The way Ashley and the mom talk about sex is fascinating. I've read some really good analyses on here about Ashley thinking about sex as transactional and I think she gets that from her mom. In that one scene ("you fuck her") the mom asks Andrew something like "what does she give you to make it worth it?" Like, the only reason she can think of for why Andrew wants to spend time with Ashley is sex. That says a lot about the mom as a person (also wow she really does see zero value in Ashley as a person wtf), and probably the way Ashley was raised to think about sex. And that's a very gendered (like cishet women specifically) view of sex. Like sex in a relationship as something to be tolerated, and for Ashley "another way to keep him around".

But I'm also wondering about the flip side of that, like is the mom only tolerating the dad for sex? Because I don't really get the impression that she likes him very much, but they textually have a very active sex life. If so, this is also sort of counter to societal gender roles/expectations. I really don't like the parents but they're such fascinating characters too.

I guess my point with all this is like we got distracted by the cannibalism and murder and incest and demon summoning, but there's some really neat and subtle stuff about gender in here that I want to talk about too! It's just so well written there's so much depth

*slaps roof of game* this bad boy can fit so much dysfunction!

[superkooku]

I see it as a personal theory but it saddens me that Maomao's parents didn't really love eachother but instead wanted something to gain from it, both resulting terribly for them.

In worse it had an impact on their own child, with her not really being showing emotions, especially viewing love in a negative light. Not to blame her growing up in a environment where women are mere objects for men to desire.

That's a sad but interesting take. And honestly, it's pretty realist too considering Maomao's life isn't a fairytale. Though I see it in a different way. A different taste of tragedy.

(rant incoming)

To me, Lakan and Fengxian made some form of bond, at least friends with benefits.

We see Lakan's POV. Him literally crying and going towards Fengxian even if she's sick proves that he loved her. She's the only one (with Maomao) whose face he can see, her playing partner in go and shogi (they share hobbies, which is a great way to create bonds imo).

We see him running in the rain, begging to see her, his desperation when he sees the letters and the fingers. It's pretty clear to me he loves her.

It's more ambiguous on Fengxian's side, as we don't get her inner monologue, but she seems to have missed him too. Though their reunion is shown through rose-tinted glasses, as she never recovered from syphilis in reality. Just Lakan's imagination.

So I'd have less trouble believing she didn't fully love him but I think he's pretty much smitten (I'll watch the series again soon, to refresh my memories).

They're also a parallel to the couple from episode 4, the concubine who faked her (mental) illness to go with the man she loved, trapped in a world where she'd only be a pretty object.

Though I agree with the fact that both had something to gain, especially in the beginning, and as the feelings changed, none of them were able to communicate correctly.

Fengxian was known to be a very proud woman after all. And Lakan likes strategy and twisted games. So they're both terrible at communication and then he's sent in foreign land and she's pregnant. It's too late.

I completely agree about what you said on Maomao, though. The environment she grew up in, especially before Luomen picked her up, was terrible for a child.

She ended up very reserved, taking any emotional display as putting too much attention on herself, something detrimental.

Because of her upbringing, she refuses to be sold by the madam because she knows what to expect. She still has nightmares of her mother cutting her fingers, puts fake freckles to seem uglier. She knows how dirty men can be, she saw lust, STDs, assassination attempts, poverty.

What an awful childhood.

And I COMPLETELY understand why someone like Jinshi makes her uncomfortable. She doesn't like the attention and just wants to live quietly with her passion as an apothecary. And he's clingy as hell, like in that honey scene.

I firmly believe that if he learns to leave her alone, she'll warm up to him faster, because she won't associate him with lecherous men anymore.

It's fortunate Maomao had Luomen as a positive father figure and Meimei/Pairin/Joka as "motherly sisters". She wasn't alone in this terrible world.

[starcanwrecked-confessions]

“wishing Paul had more of a reaction to Alice” anon, hello !!

it’s not outright or super obvious, but Paul is upset about it!! i have overanalyzed Not Your Seed to hell and back, for writing reasons & just for fun, so i have a lot of thoughts about it !!

the number is primarily about Alice & Bill’s relationship, and after the scene, things have to move quickly just for pacing, but I spent a few of my watches focusing on Paul, and i love Jon’s background acting so much

of course a lot of this comes from filling in blanks with your own hcs, views or interpretations, but this one’s mine:

Paul spends most of the beginning of Not Your Seed focused on getting him and Bill out of there before they get infected too. He looks scared when he looks at Alice, but because she’s an alien, not because Alice is dead. I think at this point, he’s distancing himself, putting up this barrier and telling himself (and Bill) that this isn’t Alice, because she’s singing and dancing and she is a threat.

But then the bridge happens !!

The spotlight falls on Alice, Bill is slightly illuminated but not upfront because this is an emotional thing for Alice (or, Not-Alice). You can see Paul holding himself as he backs out of the light, like he’s trying to comfort himself.

This is the big moment, right? “Why does it hurt to love you?” This is a huge moment, what real, human Alice has probably been thinking for years since the divorce. Even thought they’re being manipulated by this alien hivemind, those are real thoughts and feelings from Alice herself.

So then the lights come back up, and Bill at this point is numb. You can see it in his face, in the way he’s halfheartedly moving, the fact that he’s no longer trying to get Alice to break out of it. He knows his daughter is dead, he knows it’s his fault, he knows he’s let her down far too many times, and he can’t do it anymore.

Paul though. He is gripping his arms when the lights come back up, and he is visibly upset now. He stands next to Bill and they both step back as infected!Alice and the other two approach them, singing, and if you look at Paul, you can see how upset he is.

[This small part here is my favourite part of his acting in this number]

HE LEANS DOWN !! Paul is stepping away from her, but he looks into singing Alice’s eyes and leans down, like he’s looking for her !! He’s trying to see Alice, through this fucked up infection !!

He’s processed now that that was Bill’s daughter. That was Alice.

That was the little girl he used to babysit who would make him watch disney movies. That was the preteen who was moody and took advantage of his & Bill’s willingness to make her happy and not upset her. That was the teenager who still texted him sometimes, just to check in. He knew her. He cared about her. And now she was actually gone.

The bridge helped him realize that, & that’s why it’s probably my favourite part of the song (putting aside my personal relation to the lyrics), it is SO impactful, to the audience and the story. It makes it so, to Paul, instead of just to the plot, that is another person Paul has lost because of this.

It is unfortunate that you have to look so closely for these hints, but hey, Bill tries to kill himself afterwards, then dies, and then Paul gets knocked out by the fuckin military, so it makes sense, especially for an under 2 hours long musical. An upside though, is that looking so closely to notice these things gives you so much more appreciation for the wonderful actors and their talent !!

~~~

[divinekangaroo]

In this moment, in this room, I love you - Did he really mean it?

I'm always slightly wary of this angle of query because it often feels like looking for a ship-war interpretation that makes certain relationships "right" when, well, relationships are not on a binary. XD

But, I also have no idea what people mean even IRL when they say 'do you love someone', because every time it's used it seems to me to mean 'do you sacrifice more of yourself for the other person's wellbeing than would be good for your own wellbeing and think this is the right and upstanding thing to do' and that's pretty destructive, to me. Even when people say it in relation to parents and children, or children and parents. I am wary as hell of the term love because it's a distorted word that appears to serve as a bucket for a whole gamut of cultural constructs regarding worth, gender and roleplay.

So, well, did Tommy mean what, exactly?

My interpretation of this monologue was that Lizzie meant enough to Tommy that he articulated that whole speech in an effort to give her recognition, to give her something that he thought would have meaning to her. So yeah, use of the word love aside, he was telling her she has deep meaning to him, or he wouldn't have endeavoured to say it. He wouldn't have arranged the hotel to try to connect with her.

His disclaimer's always been fascinating because that's where the sorrow is, some acknowledgment that either 1) he knows his feeling for her will never be enough to alter his actions or intensions in the way he thinks Lizzie wants/needs from him (meaning: she wants/needs him to change, to be someone different for her, and he can't) and 2) these sorts of deep emotions, he can only feel in a transitory, very broken way these days.

In S6, Ada uses the same "in this moment, in this room" phrasing when she describes herself to Mosley and Diana as holding the power, a momentary, fleeting and unstable thing in a world of complex dynamics. I do ponder significantly the use of power and love both bracketed by in this moment/room (but that's another analogy for another post), and in this context do think the 'in this moment in this room' phrasing as a minimum recalls that Tommy's offering to Lizzie has the same inherent instability as power.

And, terribly, because of that fleetingness, the temporary nature, the instability and inconstancy of his feeling, Tommy's monologue to Lizzie also creates some resonance in me of the scene where Tommy tells Charlie 'that's how horses are' when he describes how Ruby's horse will forget her. I cannot help but feel Tommy meant himself: yes, he was shattered by Ruby's death....but he'll forget. He can't feel the way he (thinks he) should feel. What is another cup of grief in an ocean of his grief, after all? It's not like he doesn't feel it, but...does it change anything? He went past threshold /capacity so many years ago that more of it's...well... *shrugs* And the whole scene with Lizzie feels the same. These people he loves need him to be someone else, and while he certainly gives of himself in so many ways, it's not ways that they want.

(I also think frequently on Lizzie's "What good will you become" - she's *never* actually asked Tommy to be a good man, or to change the gang life, only to separate/protect himself and his loved ones from it; she has a very close, personal view of morality, and while she doesn't want to hurt others, she also never really seems concerned about bigger impacts, social impacts, anything beyond the tight selfish/selfhood space. Lizzie certaintly never called on Tommy to become something so grand and great and making huge political moves for "the greater good." I can't picture her understanding his supposed & expressed motivation of the greater good/lasting legacy as *worth* what he's putting himself and those close to him through)

Did he mean it? Yes. He feels and hurts and then he doesn't change what he does.

[zelandiangelo]

happy birthday kaiba beloved

I had to give up on my pipe dream of finishing this absolute monster of a fic in time for his birthday LOL new scenes keep popping up when I think I've finished a big chunk... like a hydra...

but I can't let his birthday pass without posting anything so >_< here is the opening of the fic, subject to change a bit LOL. most biggest of giant shoutouts to @moonogre for reading my draft despite it being filled with holes and for loving it and cheering me on you are the realest one <3

(kaiba i'm sorry that you are just annoyed about everything happening to you here I promise it gets better later when you have some Character Development TT_TT)

Seto doesn’t have nightmares often anymore. But when he does, they’re always about the same thing: Mokuba. More specifically, Mokuba missing, in peril, in pain.

He hasn’t seen his younger sibling yet in this dream, but a dreadful certainty grips him, one that tells him if he doesn’t find Mokuba fast, something terrible will happen to them. Frantic, he runs through unfamiliar terrain that shifts and warps about him, calling Mokuba’s name over and over to no avail.

Until without warning, Mokuba appears within view, and with them the scene before Seto becomes very familiar; it’s not the first time he’s witnessed it, nor is it the second.

The five-headed dragon looms, poised to strike Mokuba, whose eyes are wide with surprise and terror. Seto knows what will happen next. The dragon’s jaws will stretch wide, then let loose a beam of energy that will streak towards his defenseless younger sibling. Both Seto and Mokuba will watch, rooted to the spot, until at the last second Joey Wheeler will throw his body into the path of the strike and disappear on impact. Seto had never felt more grateful to anyone than he had at that moment, and it had only made him hate Joey Wheeler all the more.

Wheeler is the very picture of an older brother, all warmth and selfless instinct, and it isn’t limited to his sister. He looks out for her, for Yugi and his other friends, even for people who have actively tried to kill him. And, yes, he looks out for Mokuba. Seto hates him for it, naturally. But he also trusts Wheeler more than he would ever admit to his face.

So he knows Mokuba will be safe from this attack. The dragon opens each of its five maws, a synchronized growl building in its throats, until, with a roar that reverberates deep in Seto’s core, it unleashes a blindingly powerful blast. And sure enough, Wheeler appears, blazing like a sunrise as it bleeds over the horizon. He and Mokuba both flinch as the blow lands, but while Wheeler’s body dissolves, Mokuba remains unscathed.

Mokuba turns to face Seto, their eyes filled with tears and distress, but there’s something else buried beneath it: betrayal. That Seto had allowed Wheeler’s sacrifice. That he hadn’t done so first. The image fractures, and dozens of copies of Mokuba accuse him with their existences. Mokuba on their knees on the floor after being struck. Mokuba sulking after Seto snaps at them in a fit of stress or anger. Mokuba confronting Seto after his victory, reminding him how twisted and broken he is.

They - the original, he thinks - turn away from Seto to stare at the spot where Wheeler had last stood. He reaches out for them; whether he could have made it, he doesn’t know, because his phone’s grating ringtone jolts him awake.

Still half-asleep, Seto fumbles for his phone and accepts the call. Leftover emotions from the fading dream fester in his chest, and the bitterness overflows, dripping from his mouth when he answers. “Do you have any idea what time it is,” he snaps flatly, not caring who’s on the receiving end of his ire.

“It’s 5:30 in the morning, Mr. Kaiba,” comes his secretary’s smooth response. No sooner are the words out of her mouth than Kaiba’s alarm goes off, proving her right. He curses under his breath as he shuts the alarm off.

“And just what could be important enough for you to call me at 5:30 in the morning?” he asks. Though his tone is hostile, he’s sure she’ll have a satisfactory answer. His secretary is very good at what she does, as evidenced by how put together she sounds at this time of the morning. Seto, meanwhile, doesn’t have enough of his wits about him to even begin to guess what could be so important.

“Damon Graves wants to have dinner with you this evening.”

Seto inhales sharply. He’s been trying to facilitate a meeting with the CEO of Graves Entertainment for months on end, and finally the fruits of his labor have paid off - on the worst possible day they could have.

“What time?” he tries, hoping that this man’s definition of “evening” is some ridiculously early or late time.

“Around six o’clock, sir.”

Seto grits his teeth. “I’m afraid that won’t be possible. You’ll have to reschedule it for me.”

“No can do, sir,” she responds immediately. “Mr. Graves informed me that he’ll be between flights at this time. You either meet with him today, or wait another two months for an opening in his schedule.”

“I’ll wait, then.”

His secretary pauses. “Are you sure that’s wise, Mr. Kaiba?”

He narrows his eyes. “What do you mean?”

“This man is very… particular. Trust me when I say that when he offered the choice of ‘now’ or ‘later’, it really wasn’t much of a choice at all.”

Seto blows out a slow, frustrated breath, pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers. He absolutely does trust her in this matter, but the ‘choice’ in question isn’t as simple as she thinks it is.

It’s not a choice between doing business with this man or not. It’s a choice between this man or Mokuba.

Mokuba has been looking forward to this release event for weeks - and, ever since he had cleared his schedule and promised Mokuba they would go together, so has Seto. Despite the difficulties, Seto enjoys being the CEO of KaibaCorp; he enjoys the power and respect that come with the position, enjoys knowing that it’s his own hard work that earned him those things, and that he doesn’t have to rely on anyone else for them. But right now, all he wants is to be able to shed that responsibility like dead snakeskin, to pass it off to someone else and spend time with his younger sibling.

But he can’t, and he knows it. KaibaCorp’s success is what keeps himself and Mokuba powerful. Provided for. Safe.

Like his secretary said, it’s not much of a choice, at the end of the day. But Seto wonders if he shouldn’t have agonized over this decision more.

“Fine,” he says dully. “I’ll meet with him tonight. Let me know the details as soon as you’ve worked them out.”

“Understood, sir.”

Seto hangs up without fanfare and leans back against the pillows. A sour feeling permeates him as he tries to figure out how he’ll break the news to Mokuba. He can already picture it; their eyes, which will surely be shining with anticipation for the promised evening, dimming with disappointment when Seto tells them why, exactly, he won’t be able to make it.

That image - Mokuba’s distraught expression - tugs on the fading strands of the dream. Bitterness returns to him in a rush, amplified tenfold from what it had been before the call.

There’s only one thing he can think to do to make his failure up to Mokuba, but he’d almost rather give his company over to Pegasus. Almost.

Seto doesn't have Wheeler’s number saved in his contacts (why would he need it?), so he opens up the group chat that Yugi had invited him to. Though Seto rarely speaks up in it, and only ever to respond directly to Yugi, he meticulously keeps up with every message sent. Wheeler’s messages aren’t labeled with his name, only his number, but it’s obvious enough which ones are from him.

The first two calls Seto makes are rejected almost instantly. Wheeler finally picks up on the third attempt.

“I swear,” he snaps without so much as a greeting, “if this is some kinda scam or prank or what have ya, I’m gonna-”

“Wheeler.”

The line falls silent.

“Kaiba?” he finally asks, sounding in as much disbelief as Seto himself that this call has been placed. “The fuck d’you want at-” he pauses, groans, and continues - “quarter to six in the goddamn morning?”

“Are you free this evening?”

Wheeler splutters. “Am I fr- what? What for? Since when d’you call me up about my Saturday plans?”

“Since mine were derailed by a last-minute work meeting that can’t be rescheduled.”

“Oh, boo hoo,” Wheeler taunts. “Poor Mr. CEO’s gotta put a little work into running that big company of his. What a cryin’ shame. Look, whatever favor it is that you’re about to ask, count me out.”

Seto grits his teeth and resists the urge to hang up on Wheeler. “I was supposed to take Mokuba to the release event this evening.”

There’s another pause. When Wheeler next speaks, some of the hostility is gone from his voice. “The tag duelin’ one?”

“So you have been keeping up.”

Wheeler ignores the jab. “So, what, ya want me to take him instead?”

Seto swallows the urge to correct the pronoun and says simply, “I’ll pay you.”

“Woah, hang on, I didn’t say anything about…” Wheeler trails off, probably weighing his financial situation against Seto’s, and drops the subject. “Why me?” he asks instead. “Don’t you guys have servants for this kinda thing? A butler or whatever?”

Because our parents died so long ago that Mokuba doesn’t even remember them. Because I can’t even take one day off to spend time with Mokuba. Because there’s no one else who really cares about them.

All of these potential answers are painful, but the three word response he offers Wheeler hurts him just as much to admit aloud: “Mokuba likes you.”

Seto holds his breath as he waits out the longest pause yet. Finally, the line crackles as Wheeler lets out a gusty sigh. “What time?”

-----

Seto opens the door himself when Wheeler knocks on it. The two don’t bother to exchange pleasantries. Wheeler regards him with… not open hostility - they’ve maybe shared one too many traumatic experiences for that - but wariness, like a dog being introduced to a stranger for the first time. In a way, maybe he is; it’s been a long time since the two of them have actually spoken to one another in-person, and they’ve never done so at Seto’s home.

Wheeler finally breaks the silence. “There anything important I need to know?”

Seto frowns. “Important how?”

“Rules. Allergies. Bedtime. That kinda thing.”

“You’re not a babysitter, Wheeler. Mokuba’s old enough to take care of… himself.” He hesitates over the pronoun; misgendering Mokuba rankles him, but he doesn’t want to out them, either. As far as Seto knows, he’s the only person Mokuba has told.

“Isn’t the kid, like, thirteen? I know I coulda used some adult supervision at that age.”

“Mokuba’s seventeen, you moron.”

“Seriously?” Wheeler’s brow furrows. “He’s even shorter’n Yugi.”

“And that is precisely why you should know better than to judge a child’s age by their height.”

Wheeler raises an eyebrow. “So, if he’s practically an adult anyway, what exactly are you payin’ me for here?”

Oh, right. He had promised to pay this moron, hadn’t he? “It’s a tag duel. I’m paying you to be Mokuba’s teammate.”

“Right.” Wheeler rolls his eyes. “At least answer the allergies question. If I’m gonna be feedin’ the kid, I don’t wanna accidentally kill him and have you on my ass about it for the rest of my life.”

Seto scowls. “Mokuba’s not allergic to anything.”

“There, see? Wasn’t so hard now, was it?”

Before Seto can retort, Mokuba enters the room, and their face lights up. “Joey!”

Wheeler’s whole demeanor changes. “Hey, Mokuba!” he calls. The two cross the room to meet each other. As Seto glowers on, Wheeler gets his younger sibling into a gentle headlock; Mokuba laughs as Wheeler gives them an affectionate noogie before letting go. “You ever done one ‘a these things before?”

“I’ve done a few small local tournaments,” Mokuba says. “Never a tag duel before, though.”

“How ‘bout a draft duel?”

“What’s a draft duel?”

Wheeler laughs. “It’s what we’re goin’ to right now.”

“It is?” Mokuba’s eyes widen. “I, uh. Didn’t read the info too closely.”

“Don’t you worry, kid,” Wheeler says, throwing an arm around Mokuba’s shoulders. “Your old pal Joey Wheeler is a seasoned card shop veteran. C’mon, I’ll explain how it works on the way over. We gotta get goin’ if we don’t wanna miss it.”

Mokuba pauses briefly on their way out to wrap their arms tightly around Seto. “Bye, Seto,” they whisper. “Good luck at your business dinner thing.”

“Good luck to you too,” Seto murmurs, squeezing gently back. “Don’t listen to Wheeler if he tells you to do anything stupid.”

“I heard that.”

“Hey,” Mokuba says, releasing Seto, “he said ‘if’, not ‘when’. I think that’s an improvement.”

“Merely a slip of the tongue on my part.”

“So he admits he makes mistakes!” Wheeler raises his eyebrows. “I think your brother’s gettin’ soft in his old age, Mokuba.”

Seto scowls. “I’m twenty-one years old.”

“So, older’n me.” Wheeler grins lopsidedly, and it needles Seto that Mokuba laughs so easily alongside him. “Just leave the duellin’ to us youngsters, Gramps. We’ll bring home a trophy to remind ya of your glory days.”

The remark hits a little too close. It’s been over a year since Seto last participated in any kind of official duel - which isn’t all that much time, but at the speed Duel Monsters moves, it’s practically ancient history. Seto thinks at first that it was a calculated jab on Wheeler’s part; but he’s missing that expression he usually wears when he goes toe-to-toe with Seto, the one where his eyes burn like lasers, white-hot and focused unwaveringly on Seto, drawing a retaliation out of him without fail every time. Instead, his attention is focused on amusing Mokuba with his antics.

And so, for Mokuba’s sake, Seto swallows the remark rising in his throat. At least I have glory days to revisit, Wheeler.

“Whatever,” he says instead, stiffly. “Roland’s ready for you two with the car.”

Seto hides his envy behind a mask of indifference as he watches them go.

[scaly-freaks]

not the same anon, but i was actually ok with brothel scene?

aemond's clearly obsessed with never looking weak, he doesn't feel like he can be weak in front of his family - even his mom. alicent can't offer emotional support to her children (maybe a little to helaena), so they find it elsewhere.

aemond prob view this woman as "beneath him", someone he can use and vent to because what is she gonna do? it doesn't matter if she sees him being weak because she's inconsequential in his world.

aegon and aemond are sooooo affection starved. they do feel, they need to feel loved. they need comfort but lack the emotional intelligence to reach out and form those connections.

It was honestly very tame. I was expecting Homelander level of build up and pay off, but there are good shows and then there's...HOTD. Besides, the fandom is already flustered over this little scene, which for a canon stuffed with incest and non-con and dub-con and gore and violence, a large number of its fans have surprisingly surface-level intelligence/empathy. I do think darker topics require more of both these traits to be consumed well but the show itself chooses not to go full on with them so I'm not surprised the fandom is wrapped in cotton wool and spoon fed like a baby.

And I totally agree with your view on the madame. I am not a fan of terming her his "abuser" the way some people have been doing. Using words frivolously makes them lose all meaning and impact.

In what sense is she an abuser exactly? In the sense that you feel protective over Aemond, and this middle-aged woman is not young or attractive enough to be a satisfying self-insert? And I won't be told this isn't the case with some fans, because some of them definitely have on horse blinkers.

Logically, she is not an abuser. She looked to me like she didn't even want to be there and was disengaged from him mentally/emotionally. He very clearly told her not here and was in control of the situation, suggesting the experience is meticulously tailored to his wants and needs. The last time they met when he was thirteen, sure it's gross that a boy that young is going through something like that, but guess who brought him there? Aegon. The madame turning down the patronage of a royal prince would make her insane if you go by in-world logic. Royal patronage attracts more customers and more money for her girls. It's common sense. Do you know where her real priority was? Getting him to be aware of the smallfolk the next time he loses his temper and does something stupid (since he's already done one stupid thing).

If anything, Aegon might be termed the abuser and the madame was the tool he used, but even then, he was also taught that this behaviour was okay because someone took him to a brothel at 13. Just because he accepted and conformed to this way of living, doesn't mean it wasn't wrong that he went through it too.

Anyway, tip of the iceberg, but there you see - spoon feeding all this context to an audience that is largely unequipped to dive deeper into uncomfortable topics in the span of an hour is impossible.

[kidnappedbycartoons]

Returning to Tumblr solely because I'm back on my Zutara shit. That moment in the catacombs was such a perfect setup, let me break it down.

Zuko being the one to reach out first

At this point, Zuko had been moving towards a more positive lifestyle and it shows in his reaction. Even though he is frustrated when Katara yells at him, he doesn't lash out or use his firebending. Season one Zuko wouldn't have been able to do this, look at that growth. Instead, he apologizes to her and attempts to connect with her by bringing up his mother as well.

Up until this point, the only people that Katara could talk to about the Fire Nation taken away her mother were other victims of the Fire Nation. On top of that, Zuko has been chasing down Aang for a hot minute. Who would've thought that the son of the Fire Lord also experienced the pain of losing his mother? Would've been able to understand that pain and loss? Would've been able to bond with her through that?

Katara offering to heal him with the water from the Spirit Oasis

Once again, I don't think people realize how impactful this is. This is water from the Spirit Oasis. She literally says that she has been saving it for something important. And as we all know, she only had enough for one use which ended up being healing Aang. But Katara offered to heal ZUKO'S scar with it. On top of that, let's look back.

Katara apologizes to him for yelling and feels comfortable enough with him to tell him that whenever she thought of the enemy, she thought of him. Mind you, she's using past tense. Clearly, after the two of them managed to open up to each other, she started to see him as the person he is and not just the enemy. And Zuko feels comfortable enough to tell her how he views the scar Ozai gave him and his recent revelations. These two have been on opposite sides for months, but it only took a few minutes or hours at most, for them to reach this level of comfortability with each other. Don't think so?

Zuko lets Katara touch the scar

Zuko has been very self-conscious of his scar whenever someone brought it up or drew attention to it. So for him to allow Katara to get close enough and place her hand on the physical representation of his trauma and pain just shows how safe he feels with her in this moment. And not just him, but for Katara to feel safe enough to even get that close to him without worrying if he was going to lash out and she would have to put him in his place. Do y'all not see the material? They trusted each other in this moment.

Of course, we get cut off by Aang and Iron pulling up which leads to the next point.

The looks

When Katara and Aang hug, Zuko glares at Aang. Now, it is highly possible that this is because a part of him still feels the need to catch the Avatar, but coming after that scene, doesn't it read like jealousy?

And as Katara leaves, she looks back at Zuko who is looking away with a sad expression. In that moment, in those catacombs, she felt something. As Katara will tell Zuko before their field trip, she trusted him. It's the emotional intimacy for me.

[david-talks-sw]

Luke Skywalker in 'The Last Jedi' (2/2)

OK, so in Part 1/2 of this post, we explored why Luke's TLJ characterization isn't really inconsistent with what had previously been established in Star Wars lore. It tracks. Dare I say: it works.

And yet... something still feels off, right?

Well, the reason for this is because Luke's character development is impacted by the film's structure, which in turn is impacted by - of all things - Poe's lack of development in Episode VII! Just hear me out!

The intention: Making the audience feel the same emotions as the protagonist, deuteragonists and antagonist.

This is what most movies strive for. Unless the film is trying to go for some dramatic irony, you want your audience to be on the same page with your protagonist, emotionally-speaking.

And y'know what? Rian Johnson does this very well.

Overall, he displays a very good grasp of making us, the audience, feel the same emotions as a film’s protagonist (generally, the main character, whose POV we follow) or deuteragonist (the ‘secondary main character’).

Rey was expecting to meet the Luke from the Original Trilogy, the Luke from Legends... and instead was disappointed to meet an old jaded hermit. Just like many of the fans were.

Finn is fooled by DJ, mistaking him for an archetypal "misfit with a heart of gold". Just like the fans were.

Poe is increasingly frustrated with Holdo, just like we were.

Call it "meta", call it "subversive", the bottom line is that some of the narrative choices that a lot of fans criticize the film for are intentionally placed there to put you in the same mental state as the characters you're following, even during the film's twists.

But as a result, if a character isn’t the protagonist (Rey), or the deuteragonists (Poe or Finn), or even the antagonist (Kylo)... they'll barely get any development.

They might get one or two scenes for themselves tops, but overall secondary characters like Luke, or Holdo, or DJ will mostly be shown through the filter of Rey or Poe’s or Finn's POV.

The Problem: Luke isn't a protagonist or deuteragonist, so he isn't developed to the audience's satisfaction.

Don't get me wrong: Luke has the second-most screen time in the whole film, but that's because Rey is the one with the most screen time, and he's primarily a character in her storyline.

To be fair, he does have his own subplot, he's the spiritual center of the whole film. But concretely, he’s one step above support characters like Holdo, Leia, Rose and DJ. We're barely shown his own POV and mainly view him through Rey's lens.

Like, there's a reason why in this scene...

... we don't see what Luke witnessed in Ben’s mind, simply his reaction to it: Rey didn’t see it either.

All three "Rashomon" flashbacks are what Rey is picturing in her mind when she’s being told three different versions of the story. She doesn't see what Luke witnessed, so we don't see it either.

And you know what? On paper... this is also not really an issue. It's actually quite standard. I mean, Yoda doesn't get much backstory or an arc in Empire Strikes Back. He's just the mentor figure, and we see him through Luke's POV.

There's no arguing that Luke in TLJ receives much more development than Yoda does in ESB.

But y’know what?

Yoda was also never the protagonist of a whole other trilogy.

So if you're gonna tell an audience that "the protagonist of the previous trilogy strayed from the path and is now a completely different person" - even if they eventually make their way back with a character arc - I don’t think it’s out of order for audience members to expect more development than a regular mentor archetype.

Context is expected, and when it isn't delivered, that'll kill the suspension of disbelief, for many fans. They're not just disappointed in Luke like Rey is, they're not immersed in the movie anymore.

So how do you go for what Rian was going while also trying to keep about half the fans from jumping ship?

The Solution (?) Delving deeper into Luke.

So let’s suppose Luke was treated like a deuteragonist. Suppose we see his own POV more, rather than just seeing him through Rey’s eyes. Would that help? And what would that look like?

Firstly, we keep that deleted scene of him mourning Han’s loss.

Or we show it like in the comic adaptation of TLJ, with Luke getting angry at his decision to cut himself off from the Force, unintentionally levitating objects until Chewie consoles him.

WHAT IT DOES: Either version humanizes Luke, shows who he is beneath the jaded mask he's putting on, gives audience a chance to mourn Han with him.

We keep that deleted scene of him explaining to Rey why he thinks the Jedi were flawed, also known as the “3rd lesson scene”.

WHAT IT DOES: Spells out Luke's rationalization that the Jedi Order needs to end. Marks the beginning of Luke's wake up call.

We add one or two additional short flashbacks of Ben gradually becoming darker and unhinged. Maybe he harms one of his fellow students in a fit of rage.

WHAT IT DOES: Clarifies that Ben was going through a dark period and that's why Luke went to confront him in his hut. He didn't just saunter into Ben's hut, sabers blazing.

Maybe halfway through the film, we see Luke pack his bag as he prepares to rescue his friends with Rey, only to find her communicating with Kyloe.

After all, the novelization shows that, upon opening himself to the Force and sensing Leia, he immediately decides to get back in the game. So if that’s not just something Jason Fry added to embellish stuff, let’s see that.

WHAT IT DOES: Drives home the fact that Luke realizes his mistake. (Although, it might also take away from the subsequent scene with Yoda).

Finally, let’s actually see what Luke saw in Ben’s mind: him killing Lor San Tekka, killing Han, killing Leia, murdering Chewie and countless more innocents all with a smile on his face.

WHAT IT DOES: Provides context for Luke's extreme reaction.

Most of these things are already technically canon, the only difference is that it would be shown on screen. And if all these elements are added, then Luke’s reasons for staying away and his reaction in Ben’s hut are already more understandable.

So where’s the flaws in this solution?

Solution Flaw #1: Plot twist would be ruined.

Talking about this one:

Again, we're seeing Luke THROUGH Rey's POV, for the most part. Our reaction is - intentionally - the same reaction as Rey.

The whole point of the twist is that

we, with Rey, believe Kylo can be redeemed, because

we, like Rey, remember Luke redeemed Vader.

So when she realizes “oh shit, Luke was right, he’s too far gone”... we react that way too.

But if we had seen Ben’s turn as well, if we had seen how he was during his training, if we had seen what Luke’s saw in Ben’s mind, we would all collectively agree with Luke and think that Rey is making a mistake in trying to redeem Kylo.

So when Rey walks away from Luke, rather than hoping she succeeds, we’d just be waiting for her to inevitably fail. We'd be thinking:

"Rey, you moron, you're walking into a trap and Kylo isn't gonna turn!"

Emotionally-speaking, we would be detached from the protagonist.

Solution Flaw #2: Increase in the runtime at the cost of other scenes.

The Last Jedi is already the longest film in the franchise. Adding just three of the above-suggestions would increase that runtime, which wouldn’t work. So you’d need to take something out.

But Finn and Poe’s storylines are already stripped down to their bare bones as it is. Hell, so was the Rey/Luke storyline, for that matter.

Actually, wait... why do we have three storylines, in the first place?

After all, if we look at The Empire Strikes Back, they only have two storylines, right?

The protagonist, Luke, goes to Dagobah.

The deuteragonists, Han and Leia, evade the Empire.

Main plot & subplot. Great.

Wouldn't it be better to just have Poe and Finn do the Canto Bight storyline together? That would give us sme remaining time to focus on Luke’s past, right? Where’s the issue?

Well, Rian Johnson put it this way:

Bottom line, in The Force Awakens, Poe is a clear-cut character. Simple as that. He’s charismatic and fun, but there isn’t much room for him to grow.

A lot of people compare his character to Han, but there's an issue with that comparison (besides the obvious fact that Finn is Han and Poe is Leia)...

In ANH, Han has an arc. He's the philosophical antagonist of the film, he's only out for himself which conflicts with Luke's attempts to help others. Han goes from being a selfish irresponsible gun-slinger to taking responsibility and becoming a selfless rebel, a part of something bigger. Arc concluded.

(Hell, this very reason is why Harrison Ford didn’t wanna keep playing him and lobbied to kill him off.)

So in ESB, Leia is the one who has the arc. Han is just being himself. Leia is the one who must slowly come to terms with the fact that she does love him, despite him being a total nerf-herder. So she and Han bicker, there’s conflict there, but there’s also an underlying affection.

As such, when Poe doesn’t have an arc in TFA, and is already on great terms with Finn, then there’s no conflict if you put them together in a subplot.

And conflict is crucial, in storytelling. If it's absent, then the story becomes boring.

As a result, Rian Johnson had to create conflict and growth for Poe.

Which means that, now, a third storyline is thrown in the mix... and the pacing and development of the other two are affected by this. Some really good scenes need to be cut, some stuff needs to get shuffled around.

For example, remember this deleted scene, from further up?

In the commentary, Rian explained that the reason it wasn’t in the film is because it didn’t intercut well with the other two storylines. *Three and a half, if you wanna count Kylo's personal scenes.

As such, there’s no space to add more scenes to develop Luke's perspective.

And if Rian made more space, well, that wouldn't work either. Because while Luke is the spiritual core of the film... this isn't his movie. He's not the protagonist anymore. But he used to be, and if you show him too much (not as Rey's mentor figure, that is, but as a protagonist or deuteragonist), he'll take the spotlight off the new cast with the snap of a finger.

When Michael Arndt was working on the Sequels with George Lucas in 2012, he encountered this same issue:

“Early on I tried to write versions of the story where [Rey] is at home, her home is destroyed, and then she goes on the road and meets Luke. And then she goes and kicks the bad guy’s ass. It just never worked and I struggled with this. This was back in 2012. It just felt like every time Luke came in and entered the movie, he just took it over. Suddenly you didn’t care about your main character anymore because, ‘Oh f*ck, Luke Skywalker's here. I want to see what he’s going to do’.” - Michael Arndt, Entertainment Weekly, 2015

And I'm guessing this is a problem that JJ had to deal with too, hence why Luke was pushed to the end of Episode VII: so as to give the new characters a chance to be developed a bit more, first.

“In a very general sense, the original idea for Episode VII started midway through what we now know as Episode VIII...” - Pablo Hidalgo, Twitter, 2016

There's finally the fact that, while most of those ideas can make Luke's fall more understandable... his story isn't about "how he fell".

It's about how he got back up. The whole point of the film is that even when you've reached your lowest point you can still inspire and be inspired by hope.

So while adding any of the above scenes would only reinforce what was already shown in the movie, be it explicit or subtextual... they wouldn't ADD anything to the theme of learning from failure and getting back in the saddle.

Do I care about Luke’s characterization in TLJ...?

In spite of what the length and intricacy of these two posts might indicate... I don’t, really 😅

Like, sure, I wish more had been done with the character, but Luke was never really my childhood hero, Obi-Wan was.

So Luke in TLJ isn’t a gaping wound in my chest. I didn't whine about it in 2017, nor did I shed tears of joy and said “he’s finally back” when we saw him in The Mandalorian, for example.

Like, it was an awesome scene, but in my mind Luke never left.

Also I’m the type of Star Wars fan who’ll tolerate any addition to the canon by virtue of it being new Star Wars content.

So even if that addition is something I didn’t enjoy during the viewing, I still focus on the positive and roll with it, I come up with a headcanon that'll make it work.

Because you get to do that, with a transmedia franchise!

If you don’t like how it went down in the movie? There's always a comic around the corner that'll retcon it and/or retroactively make it better... that's how it was for the Prequels.

But for the Sequels, it's difficult. There's a scarcity of transmedia content, when it comes to stuff set around the Sequels era.

I mean, can you think of any

Luke-centric work

that serves as a meaningful addendum to what's seen of him in the Sequels?

A novel, a comic issue and a distantly-relevant manga.

That's it.

(The Mandalorian and Book of Boba Fett are too soon after ROTJ to have any meaningful impact on Luke's journey in the Sequels. Some people see Luke's behavior in those shows as "the beginning of his failure", but I covered why I don't think this is really the case, here.)

Instead of just three items, how about a comic mini-series focusing on the year Luke spent training Leia, or on his adventures across the galaxy as he tries to rebuild the Jedi Order? Maybe he meets Cal Kestis, or Quinlan Vos? Maybe he needs to face against an Oppo Rancisis who was consumed by the darkness, post-Order 66?

Or better yet, how about a video game centered on Luke, in the style of Fallen Order or Jedi Academy?

Get Mark Hamill to motion cap it, he's done it before.

This would also allow the fans who grew up with the powerhouse that is Legends Grandmaster Luke Skywaker to have some fun!

Many fans wanted to see Luke in action, in TLJ, and instead got a pretend-samurai fight. Which is nice, powerful and symbolic, he goes out like a true Jedi, it makes the Force more than a superpower... but it's not a lightsaber duel. In a game, though? Players can go to town.

I dunno... any additional content would've smoothed the blow for many people who didn't like what was done with Luke in TLJ. Sure, you'd always have people who just hated the whole thing, but if transmedia content helped reduce the hate for the Prequels, it could've done the same with Luke.

I'm not sure why that route wasn't taken.

[faillen]

just. peaceful property rambles. completely unconstructive, trying to make my brain quiet so I can sleep.

I can’t stop thinking about Peach turning around and expecting Home at his elbow, or inhaling to call his name, only to stop once he remembers.

I’m assuming. What? A week went by between last ep and this ep?

Also just thinking about Pangpang sooo much like. She saw how Home got her brother out of his shell and she’s very much encouraging Peach to reach out because she’s trying to be constructive and positive about the whole situation. But at the same time I really just want to write the post-canon fic where she starts pulling away from Home a bit and eventually she blurts out that she’s mad at him. Cause it’s a simmering thing, and she’s always set her anger aside to make space for being “the positive supportive one!” since Peach takes on so much responsibility and burden as the older brother. But at the end of the day, Home did hit her only brother with a fucking car, and when she thinks about how scared she was that night and how much their life spiraled—even though it was all okay in the end—she does still get incredibly upset.

Also Kan!!! Kan got barely any screen time this episode, and I really need the focus to swing back to her. I don’t know if it will next episode, given the preview, but I need to learn more about what’s going on there. Clearly the fact that she asked to leave right after Home is supposed to make us a bit sus of her but Home’s aunt and uncle and that lawyer are truly pinging so much higher for me lmao.

Also I swear to god, I will bet on it—Uncle Somkid is partly responsible for Home’s parents dying (and it feels like that might be tied up w Kan’s story?). If I’m wrong, fine, but if I’m right, I will eat my shoe.

There’s something about how positively Home views his grandfather versus the neglect and pain caused by his family’s holdings. And on one hand. Rich people bullshit. They love making excuses for negligence! On the other hand, if the show doesn’t want to make the grandfather a villain (and it seems like it doesn’t want to) then someone else has to be (the lawyer? Somkid doesn’t seem that master-mind-y. Though who knows. One of the theories for this week is that he put a hit on his fucking nephew lmao)

I will say. There is something very “Pat gets shot and Wai redeems himself by helping him” about Home getting into a car accident before he apologizes to Peach and Pangpang in person. While I am completely devastated by the trials and tribulations of this very hot, classist man who is actually quite Complicated™—the impact of the apology we get is going to be severely undercut by Peach’s guilt over why Home was driving in the first place. Like the Bad Buddy situation it’s similar vibes of “are you really going to be mad at your friend for outing you when he just helped your boyfriend after your boyfriend got SHOT?”

(The answer to both is: yes, yes you should. these are separate issues. the human emotions of guilt/gratefulness will not let you do that though.)

god. also. just. gay love can pierce through the veil of death and save the day. Hey. Hey P’Dome, did you watch The CW’s long-running monster of the week, Supernatural (2005)? Cause I think it’s insane that you had the ForceBook ghosts be gay in an episode where you ALSO establish that suicidal ghosts loop through their final moments. You know. Kind of like a Death Echo. An entity/phenomenon which was first introduced in Supernatural season 3, episode 13, “Ghostfacers”. And they got the death echo who happened to be gay to move on by having his crush confess to him. and they uttered the aforementioned famous line. Yknow. Like.

P’DOME DID YOU WATCH SUPERNATURAL, YOU GOTTA TELL ME RIGHT NOW

if I had a nickel for every time a queercoded horror show did this shebang, I’d have two nickels, etc. etc.

I can’t even think about the whole dancing scene and Home and Peach looking at each other while doing the gestures for love. If I do, I will simply explode. I also cannot think about how hurt Home looked when Peach mentioned him running away to the States (me, always: home looks so pathetic ;-; also me: stop. stop that. he basically killed peach, peach is allowed to be mean.)

Okay I’m done.

[choosingwhatmatters]

The baby soap song - “Awake” by Boy Sompob

So, in my last post I ranted about the piece of music used in the "let me smell your soap" scene of episode 6 and how I hoped that it would make a reappearance. Boy, did I get my wish in episode 7. Not only do we get to hear the piece again, not only is it connected to the relationship of Wan and Kim, it is an actual song!

I was a little miffed when I made this discovery because I had watched the soap scene about 63 times in order to hear how the song goes and got utterly distracted by what was happening on screen. Had I known that there was an actual song that exists on Spotify, I could have listened in peace. Then again: The onscreen appenings DID warm my little heart. Plus, 63 more views for the video :D

Back to the song: the first time we get to hear the song, we once again hear an instrumental version. It starts when Kim hears that Wan is missing. Kim drops the flowers that Mawin gave her and rushes to look for Wan. Here are the opening bars of the song:

As soon as I heard the music, I knew that Wan would be okay. Somewhat okay. As okay as you can be when you wrangle with feelings for your former best friend whom you scared away by first taking them for granted and then clinging to them for dear life.

The song isn’t dramatic. It has a melancholic, ambient quality. For me, it’s not there to suggest that Wan is in danger but rather that both Wan and Kim have a lot of emotions to grapple with.

This is also true for the second time we hear the song. It guides us through Wan's day of reminiscing and staring into space dejectedly. She watches her mother getting treatment at the hospital. After returning home, she remembers the cutest tidying up scene in human history. (I appreciate the visual of her being physically in the frame as the memory plays out. Also, compliments to the dream team for finding another person who has Fay's perfect hair (tm).)

This is the first time we get to hear the lyrics. As Boy Sompob croons (in the best sense of the word) about yearning for nighttime, about dreaming of a loved one, about never wanting to wake up, Wan suffers through the day until the last bars of the song transport her to dream land. Notably, this is where Kim tells her that she can't be in her dream forever and begs her to see a doctor. Which Wan does! You go, Wan!

We hear the song one last time when the ending credits are rolling. I understand that this is common practice after the first half of a show, but oh!, I am going to miss Mint's "Tha khuu fan di (Reverie)," which I will rant on further in another post.

To conclude: As I had hoped, the song is still connected solely to Wan and Kim's relationship. It has twice now transported Wan to dream land. Both of these dreams were good dreams that led Wan to make decisions that have a positive impact on her life, namely wanting to confess her feelings and seeking treatment for her depression. I will keep straining my ears to catch the opening bars of the song because, as of yet, it has only brought me things that warm my little heart.

[asexualbookbird]

The Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon ⭐⭐

I followed this book from it's conception, through it's editing, and hyped it's publishing date on twitter. I was genuinely excited to read it, and really thought and hoped I'd enjoy it. I wasn't a huge fan of what I read of The Bone Season, but everyone assured me this was different! And to be fair, it was! I think in my heart, though, I knew the truth because I waited so long to read this and I'm sorry to say I did not have a great time.

My problem with Samantha Shannon seems to be she creates these wonderful worlds full of interesting magic systems and characters that are fun to follow, but there's too much crammed into the book as a whole. In The Bone Season, I felt the Rephaim were unnecessary. In Priory there are too many points of view. There were things I liked, this wasn't a complete waste of time, but wow they were hard to come by in the end.

What did I like?

-Ead! Ead was clearly the main character and I think it would have worked better if it was just Her Book (I'd also settle for her and Tané, please Tané deserved more page time than she got) -Sabran. I'm surprised, but not really, that people didn't like her. She's complicated! She's mean! She loves deeply! She's a person! People just hate women who are mean lol -MAGIC! Magic comes from fruit that comes from the stars? It's fire and water and ice and air? NEAT! COOL! Cool magic systems seem to be SShannons strong point! -High fantasy with no sexual assault or threats of sexual assault. There was a little misogyny with the way Sabran and her line is treated for their ability to give birth (and no, one throw away line of "This is bad actually!" doesn't fix it lol) but it fit in context and considering no one was mean to women for being women I'll let it slide!

What didn't I like?

-LACK. OF. DRAGONS. yall there are dragons on the COVER, every time someone talked about this online, they added dragon emojis. So why, in the more than 800 pages, did dragons show up for maybe five pages TOTAL. Like if we went line by line and pieced all those lines together, it would maybe take up five pages. Ten if I'm being generous and include the dragons that are The Enemies. Which, by the way, -Dragons are Mean. I've discovered that I prefer dragons to be neutral to allies, I don't like dragon books where we are slaying dragons. It's nice that we have both here, no group of people? Creatures? Are a monolith, but I want more of the eastern dragons! They were pushed aside and we hardly saw them! We hardly saw any of them! If you promise me dragons, then deliver! The! Dragons!!!! -Writing style. I'm thinking maybe SShannon's writing style and I do not vibe at all. I'm not sure what it is about it, I know she doesn't like writing action scenes and so avoids them, and I love reading action scenes, but that didn't feel like the entire problem here? But something about this writing detached me from the characters. Yes I liked Ead, but I felt nothing about Tané, other tha wanting MORE of her. SShannon spent a lot of time saying not much at all, it's really rather impressive. -Tané in general. Part of the writing problem is the way the POVs were split. It was most obvious in Tané's storyline. She has everything stripped away from her, but the emotional impact wasn't there because we hardly spent any time with her. -The Priory. The book is named after it, but we're hardly there at all. I spent a good chunk of the first half wishing Ead would go back to the Priory, but once she was there, I wanted her to leave. The Prioress' motives also seemed iffy to me? Ead was right, why spend nearly ten years trying to keep Inys afloat and then go "actually! Nevermind! Let it burn!' -Plot....holes? Not so much holes but Convenient Plot. I was ready to ignore some of it, suspension of disbelief and all that, but nah I"m going to be picky now! The scene that stuck out the most was Ead being chased and hunted down and CONVENIENTLY wyrms attacked her pursuers and she was the one who got away. Or how about Niclays at the LITERAL LAST MOMENT deciding to have a change of heart because......plot has to move forward? Also. What the fuck happened to Ishari lol Tané noted Ishari was disappointed to be sent to Feather island, but said she hoped their paths would cross again one day! And then! Tané goes to Feather Island! And NO MENTION OF HER AT ALL! Or how abut Loth learning a VERY BIG VERY IMPORTANT PIECE OF INFORMATION ABOUT THE NEIGHBORING KINGDOM AND THEN NO ONE MENTIONS IT UNTIL NEARLY THE END LIKE "OH YEAH BTW THE PRINCESS THERE IS COOL LOTH SAID SO" -Wrap Up. I didn't really mind the final Big Fight. I know even fans of the book have been disappointed, but honestly it's one of the strongest stretches of the book, even if it was a little hard to follow at times. What bothered me was after. I know I tend to be impatient when reading the final chapters of a book, the What Happened Next bits, but never have I been so annoyed as to have to read a wrap up from the POV of someone who WASN'T EVEN CONSCIOUS. I suppose it's better than a book where a single first person POV character is knocked unconscious mid battle and then the next scene is "and then everything was over" but come ON.

I know she had to edit this book down a LOT, which. Girl. It's 800 pages how was there MORE. So maybe my questions were answered in things that were cut, but I could not physically handle any more of this book. I got fatigue from her writing, I cannot handle more of it at once, but considering how long it takes her to finish a book (not a complaint! Everyone has a different pace!) I also would not have wanted to wait that long for a conclusion. There's no winning for me here. We were simply not meant to be. It's just that if I'm going to read a book that takes hundreds of pages to say nothing at all by an author that puts out a book once every few years at best, I'd read VE Schwab or Patrick Rothfuss.