#this rewatch is slowly killing me
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forever obsessed with dynamics between vampires, specifically that of a maker and fledgling, as a way to explore abuse. the creation of a vampire itself can so easily be a literalization of the lasting impacts of trauma and also much more simply the ways a perpetrator might shape their victim’s very identity. the extremes of isolation in the way that the new vampire, in most narratives, must cut all ties to their mortal life, or else go through an elaborate charade to maintain the facade of humanity, while forever still being removed from it. and the sheer dependence and vulnerability of being in an entirely new state of being, wholly uncertain of what it entails, and relying on another person to define… everything.
#or just the moral dilemmas#rewatching amc interview is kind of making me insane#that moment in episode two when louis is looking for a sort of assurance in the fact that lestat may actually have some good in him#look at how he cares about music look at the simple wondrous things that can bring him joy#and then the immediate dread when the opera performance turns out to be imperfect because he knows how lestat will react to *that*#I think there’s also something really interesting in the highlighting of lestat upbraids the less skilled singer before killing him#(slowly)#but also I will wait to watch more before I articulate my thoughts#vampires#interview with the vampire#amc interview with the vampire#i ramble sometimes#I do still find the lestat and claudia film and novel dynamic by far the most compelling for how she tries to usurp him but almost to be him#but I’m enjoying this#I’m very curious if I will like show claudia more on rewatch#the movie always resonated most with me (sue me lol) because there seemed to be more simultaneous fondness and attachment even at the end
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Delighted to discover that the way shadow unlocks new abilities in sxsg is a perfect parallel of the pringles iron maiden
#fr the genuine unhappiness of those cutscenes paired with the 'yahoo!' energy of the unlock Kills me each time#rewatched a few of them to get a ref of that weird gear thing and realized they actually made unique character animations for each one#like I thought they were just reusing shadow writhing in agony every time but No they did a Whole New Thing each go around!#I respect the dedication to making unique iterations of one guy having a very not good time#sxsg#shadow#shadow the hedgehog#sonic x shadow generations#I don't thiiink this counts as a spoiler? cause most of those cutscenes were already shared in trailers?#lmk if i'm off base there#doodles#my art#comic#anyways the pringles iron maiden kills me again like it's impossible for that dialogue to not be fucking hilarious#i'll probably reblog the ling one tomorrow it's still one of my favorite things i've ever drawn lmfao#the 'SHIT FUCKING HELL!!!' always gets me#slowly figuring out how to draw this guy#these games have a very unique style especially for the eyes and mouths that's a bit of a trick to get used to
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kdrama b couples will be like tee hee there's been a minor misunderstanding! we're too awkward to confess our feelings! oh no we like each other and keep bumping into each other but due to prior circumstances we have to ignore our slowly blossoming flirtation! and kdrama a couples will be like Every Day We Experience The Horrors
#this is about many shows. but to be clear I am slowly rewatching goblin.#and the juxtaposition of#if you fall in love with me you have to kill me if I find meaning in an eternal life with you and finally want to live that is the only way#I can die#vs#Man Who Cannot Call Attractive Woman Because He Does Not Have A Phone Not Because He Is Dead But Because He Doesn't Know How To Use One#is not lost on me. it's a little funny.
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Currently crushed and useless under the heavy weight of the sexual tension between Rio and Agatha. 😩 About to call out of work horny.
#like literally could they have chosen two hotter people to do this dance#we rewatched the first two episodes of A3 yesterday bc we have to wait for our friend to watch the rest Thursday#the wait is slowly killing us#the fact that I can’t go trawling through the internet for content without fear of spoilers is driving me mad#on the verge of clawing my brain out#I love being gay but omg is it painful sometimes#I can’t even write fic bc IDK WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN AHHHH#I suppose I can draw though… maybe I’ll draw#they both have such great noses too I’m flying to the fucking moon
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demon slayer has actually been taking over my life so ill probably post about it until south park hits me like a truck again sorry chat. mitsuri!! i drew this for my beautiful girlfi i mean wife 😇
#mitsuri#mitsuri kanroji#kny#kny fanart#mitsuri fanart#my friends made me rewatch kny and its killing me slowly#nya#mitsuri kanroji fanart
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#tko_art#you are the most talented#most interesting#and most extraordinary person in the universe#And you are capable of amazing things. Because you are the special.#What's it like to hold the hand of someone you love?#do you long for having your heart interlinked?#do you feel that there's a part of you that's missing?#what will you have after 500 years?#oh i forgot the airbrush for the depth#i thought this was pretty good but i just remembered the top lid doesn't really ahve shape#whatever#tried doing the shadow on the corner of it's eye too#that didn't work out lol#i'm starting to slowly think that putting the time and effort into being my friend is not worth it#asked my therapist how to start believing words and she completely misunderstood it#because at the end of the day yeah words are just words and no matter how much u try to tell me I won't believe you#and i get it i get it i get it i just can't apply it#anyway might fuck around and rewatch one piece and catch up#it's eating me up inside#you dont get it#what's not to love#argue with the wall#ok well the fanservice sucks ass#makes me want to kill myself
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okay maybe this is so obvious but i think the thing that is so excruciating for me about this show is the inevitability of the story. i've already seen it twice and i'm watching it for the third time and i know that bad things are going to happen to the characters and i don't want them to but they have already happened and they will happen again because the story has already happened. it's already done. it's like i'm watching them in a time loop and wishing for a different outcome and it's never going to *be* different for them they're always going to have to go through this. it's always going to end the same. i'm in the labyrinth.
i love stories i love to get lost in characters in books and tv shows and podcasts i love to decide to be taken through a series of feelings and then move through them i love to watch things unfold and then go back to the start and watch them unfold again and everything has a deeper resonance this time because you know what's going to happen next
#the knowing what's going to happen next is both good and bad. it is what's killing me and also somewhat bolstering me!#to be clear the time loop is not literal i have created it by rewatching the same show over and over across several years.#and the show is 'something in the rain' (2018 korean drama)#Also my new habit is to read a new book twice. i'm always so impatient to Know What Happens so i fly through it the first time to#get to the end and then go back to the start and read it slowly the next time. it's so fun. I LOVE STORIES!!!!!!!#also. it is both so unpleasant and so fun rewatching this. i'm hating it i'm loving it but now that i've realised the time loop thing i#think i feel a fraction less angst and a bit more chill :P
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barry is like the shining to me
#don't mind me in my own little world over here#stop just putting together two fully unrelated things you like challenge#you start from the beginning and it's not completely sunny and rainbows but it's a hell of a lot better than where we end up#there's a glimmer of hope for our main character#it feels like there's no way that what we see in the beginning could possibly lead to the end#but we watch it happen all the way#the comparison is not one to one but I do not care#I'm rewatching epsidoe one and it's killing me#like if Barry was a book we'd be able to hear his toxic inner monologue this whole time instead of just watching it slowly seep out#the shining#barry hbo
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i just loved that the writers were like mark of cain dean slowly becomes more and more barbaric and inhuman as he can’t control this primordial, gaping wound in the form of an already healed over scar that has been borne by the devil himself and is in fact what made him the devil and therefore will make dean long and lust after maiming and ultimately murdering people with an urge stronger than any love or passion or resolution he’s ever experienced in his life And Also He’s A Huge Misogynist
well. TO BE FAIR. you have just kind of described dean when he is normal also.
#this is dean winchester we are talking about. on the ‘we hate women’ show.#god I feel like I’m gonna get to the Mark in my rewatch and the hype will have built it up too much#the mark in my head is so cool you guys have no idea because I never talk about it but trust me it is#I think I like. barely scraped a mention of it in that one Lucifer/Raphael fic and another time in a 3 sentence fic#murder death kill drive is fine but I think the mark should fuck up ur thinking even more. hallucifer 2 this time with God’s evil sister#slowly trying to eat your soul from the inside. amplifying anger for anyone sure but playing to the worst parts of someone mostly#Dean is angry but why enhance his anger when you can enhance his paranoia. his abandonment issues. his need for control. and make those the#reasons for him to lash out and kill people. I mean the show never fucking settled on if the mark actually corrupted someone into something#that they aren’t or just revealed what was already there. I felt it wanted to have both. to say to Lucifer ‘you were always sick’ and to#Dean ‘well we can fix you’ but no fuck that let’s lean hard into the revealing what’s there already aspect#I think partially I’m also still just mad about the demon origins retcon but shhhh whatever whatever#anyway. sorry for rambling anon. you are very funny. I chuckled.#ask#spn#dean winchester
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the mikaelsons were willing and fighting to have people linked to them against their will and that's why I can't support them outside their relationships with the characters i care about
#klaus mikaelson#elijah mikaelson#kol mikaelson#rebekah mikaelson#finn mikaelson#i think rewatching the originals is slowly turning me totally anti mikaelson#hayley marshall#anti hayley included but not really bc shes baby girl but damn everything elijah related ruined her for me#marcel gerard#davina claire#davina you are the only bitch i respect#sis broke that sireline and was really willing to kill klaus and honestly good for her#aya the originals
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#slowly slowly slowlyyy killing the brain worms#that is#I’ve just finished by 3rd Shadow n Bone s2 rewatch#and there’s not much more left for me#to#do#slav#slav every day#voltron
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this is your sign to watch the magic of the heart series by good boy audios because the recent episode -- OH MY GOD
I WILL NEVER SHUT UP ABOUT IT I'M NOT SORRY THAT RECENT VIDEO WAS SO FUCKING GOOD
#IMA BE SPOILING HERE CAUSE I HAVE *THOUGHTS*#FIRST OF ALL ESCAPED SYNTH AND GB YALL PUT YOUR ALL INTO YOUR PARTS AND OOMF IT SHOWED#THE WARDEN WAS SO FUCKING DESPICABLE THE PART WAS PLAYED TO A T#AND SEEING WHO FRANK WAS BEFORE THE BONEY BOY WE KNOW HIM AS WAS SO AMAZING#AND THEN CUT TO HIS DEATH AND HOW FUCKING HEARTBREAKING IT WAS#AND HOW MUCH HE CARED FOR MAK I- IT KILLED ME T-T#AND MAK OML MR MAKKARO#MY HEART BROKE INTO 30 THOUSAN PIECES SEEING HIM SLOWLY BREAK INSIDE THE PRISON#AND THE TWO SCREAMS?!??!? OH MY GOD LIKE THE FIRST ONE WAS INSANE AND THEN THE SECOND I- INFINITE CLAPS#AND THE LETTER OMFG I COULD NOT#listen I got thoughts and here they are#long story short I love this video and yes I will be rewatching it 10 more times 🤭#hala rambles
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I've been struggling so much for so long all by myself that it's easy to forget that the world is full of beauty and love and community and how we are truly never alone because someone somewhere thinks of you when they don't see you and ppl like brennan who strive to make the ppl around them feel seen and cared for remind me time and time again and for that I'll be forever grateful
#personal but like not really individualism is a disease that's slowly killing us#humans need community we THRIVE in communities#rewatched the ending of exu: calamity and it broke me but I needed that cry#brennan lee mulligan
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NEW HANNAH GADSBY SPECIAL ON NETFLIX LETS GOOOOO
#hannah gadsby#something special#hannah gadsby something special#I got to see this one live but i'm so excited to be able to rewatch it <3#fat autistic lesbians are the funniest people on earth and i'm not just saying that because i am one#the punchline at the end literally almost killed me when you slowly realize with horror what the context is...priceless#They are so fucking excellent at their job
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we watched from house of history through house of rainbows all in one sitting and i have so many thoughts that i can't sum up well past: i am having so much fun but every moment that passes fills me with The Fear
#the dramatic irony is KILLING ME slowly .#s3 rewatch thoughts#hoa#i'm also getting a solid idea of where to take this house is a tar pit tho >:333
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TOP 10 PERSONAL FAVE MOVIES TO WATCH WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE ASS
I don't like movies that stress me out because life is already stressful but I DO love catharsis comedy found family friendship fantasy and violence so here are my top 10 movies and series to have a good time watching
Numbered for convenience but not in any particular order
John Wick 1 and 2: An ordinary man grieving the loss of his wife gets dragged back into his past as a shadowy, invisible world of international killers for hire is slowly revealed to be living among us. A love note to set design, lighting, and choreography. My favourite part is fixating on the symbolism. DO NOT WATCH 3. 4 is okay. DO NOT WATCH 3. There is a dog death in 1 that will make you cry so skip that part if you have to. DO NOT WATCH 3.
The lord of the Rings, all 3, extended edition best watched if you're on the couch with the flu and expect to fall asleep OR if it's your day off and it's raining outside OR if you have like 5 people lounging around in pajamas
Six Underground: Essentially an hour and a half long car commercial music video with found family and a fresher take on acommon plot. Ryan Reynolds essentially writes and directs a Michael Bay movie where 6 independant criminals gather together to overthrow a violent foreign dictatorship. You show up for a dumb heist and walk out ready to build a guillotine. TW for violence, car crashes, chemical warfare, and genocide. A very cathartic ending. Does unfortunately do the whole "vague, impoverished middle-eastern country" thing but the citizens are actually show as human beings which is a nice change of pace and oh wow that's depressing isn't it
The Princess Diaries 1 and 2: A sort-of-a-loser teenage girl, played by a 2001 Annie Hathaway, learns that her late father was a king of a foreign nation and must become a confident and responsible leader for his people. There is a scene in the rain where you will experience emotions. Best watched with snacks. 2 features an enemies-to-lovers type deal with Chris Pine.
Ella Enchanted: A shrek-style semi-musical fantasy romance in which a young woman is cursed at birth to do everything anyone tells her to do. Features several Queen songs and dance numbers sung by Annie Hathaway and that guy who plays the sad dog guy in Hannibal.
Stardust: A huge loser travels from 1800s England (?) to a magical world in order to fetch a fallen star for the insufferable love of his life before she marries a massive douchebag. The huge loser? Charlie Cox. The star? A living person. Also a whole bunch of princes are ALSO looking for them as a race for the throne while discreetly killing each other off. And also a bunch of witches want to eat her so they can be young and sexy. 11/10. I used to watch this 10 minutes at a time on a YouTube channel that posted it in chunks filmed on a digital camera in their living room
The Last Holiday: Queen Latifah, playing someone played by Queen Latifah, has been working an underappreciated minimum wage job for years, living a safe and conservative life trying to lose weight and save money. Then she finds out she has months to live, and decides to finally quit her job and blow it all on one massive luxury holiday vacation complete with five-star dining, making friends and finding love and confidence along the way. It's definitely corny but it makes me so happy thank you Queen Latifah
Zathura: It's the plot to the original Jumanji but in space instead of the rainforest. But listen to me: There's a twist reveal at the end that you need to pretend isn't there. It is vitally important when you get to that part- and you will know what part when it happens- that you pretend it didn't. Otherwise, a fresh and enjoyable adventure for any age!
Redacted cause I haven't seen it in a long time and it may be worse than I remember, gotta rewatch
Bullet Train. You go in expecting a ham-fisted find-the-mcguffin style action comedy and are blindsided by excellent narrative symmetry and genuinely likeable characters. Fresh takes on old themes and creative action sequences. My little brother said "It's good", and he's a man who once sincerely argued that Lord of the Rings could have been better. It's fun and punchy violence with just enough smart stuff to not let your brain get bored
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