#this reminds me of back when disney made good animated movies

[justagalwhowrites]

Yearling - Ch. 22: Storm

A spring snowstorm hits Jackson. A continuation of Yearling ch. 1-21 found on Tumblr here.

PLEASE PAY CLOSE ATTENTION TO THE CONTENT WARNINGS, THIS IS A ROUGH CHAPTER!!!

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Warnings: Past sexual assault vaguely described; animal death; PTSD response; sexual assault of a minor mentioned in a vulgar way (not seen); possible child death. No use of Y/N. Minors DNI 18+ Only 

Length: 8.6k 

AO3 | Chapter One | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Early May, 2013 

You were outside when the woman rode up. 

Your home was well hidden and you’d only seen five people since Mark had left almost a year earlier, each of them making their way into your land and telling you that he’d sent them your way. They were all kind, they were all vulnerable and they were all loaded down with things you would need. Flashlight batteries and bulbs, sugar and salt, rubbing alcohol and petroleum jelly. Thread, fabric, pain killers, antibiotics, guitar strings. One woman had been sent with a snack sized bag of Lays that were still sealed and a bottle of whiskey. That had made you smile, the clearest sign that Mark hadn’t forgotten about you. 

All of the others had arrived on foot, seemingly with a good idea of where to go, mostly alone but two women has traveled together. The timing wasn’t predictable but you at least knew what you could expect when someone Mark sent your way came into your territory.

This woman was different. 

You heard her before you saw her, the thundering footfalls and heavy breathing of her horse loud against the quiet of the forest. You didn’t have time to fortify your position, didn’t even have time to go get more ammo. So you stood your ground and raised your rifle, heart pounding, when she burst through the tree line and into the clearing that you called home. 

“Back the fuck up!” You yelled, gun raised. The horse all but skidded to a stop, the woman on its back clutching a bundle of blankets to her chest with one hand, yanking back on the reins with the other.  

“Easy!” She said dropping the reins and putting her hand up. She still clung to the bundle. You recognized the horse. It was Perseus, it was Mark’s horse. “Are you Texas?” 

“Who’s askin’?” Your accent was thick, fear a knot in your stomach as you looked Perseus over. You didn’t see any signs of injury.

She kept her hand up. 

“You knew Mark?” She asked. She had an accent, too. Georgia southern, like Mark. “Brown hair, criminally long eyelashes?” 

You narrowed your eyes at her and tightened your grip on your weapon. 

“He knew you,” she kept going. “He… he told me all about you. Doubt he ever mentioned me but… he talked about you all the time. He loved you and I think you loved him, too.” 

You swallowed past the growing lump in your throat and tightness in your chest. She kept using past tense. 

“What about him?” You asked, keeping your gun raised but your grip loosened. 

“He sent me to find you. We need your help,” she said, reaching and tugging her pant leg up just enough to reveal a festering bite mark on her ankle. “And I don’t have much time.” 

***

Early April, 2027

“I can’t believe you’ve been calling her a fucking baby deer this whole goddamn time!” 

Ellie was perched on Shimmer’s stall door, watching as you and Joel set out blankets for the horses. It has been snowing all day and winds were picking up. You were worried a blizzard was moving in and you wanted help getting the horses set to ride out the storm if you couldn’t get to them for a day or two. 

Joel was happy to assist, especially since he had come back from patrol a week earlier with a copy of Bambi on VHS. Ellie hadn’t been able to calm down about it since and it reminded him of the giddiness she had when she started in on the puns the first time, almost four years ago now. He’d have done anything to get that back and, it turned out, all it took was an old Disney movie and a funny nickname.  

“Thank you,” you laughed, almost smug. “Don’t talk for a few minutes and get saddled with the name of a cartoon deer for life…” 

“Hey, needed somethin’ to call you and you try coming up with anything else after lookin’ at you with those big eyes,” Joel said, defensive but smiling. “Not my fault it stuck.” 

“Yeah well Bambi here was gonna kick your ass the first time we met,” she replied. “Big bad contractor was gonna get beat up by a fucking cartoon deer from a kid’s movie…”

Joel tried to keep from laughing and raised his eyebrows at you. 

“OK that’s an exaggeration,” you said. “All I was going to do…” 

“I asked if you were going to try to kick his ass,” Ellie cut you off. “And you said ‘no try about it, I was gonna kick his ass.’” 

“And what did I do to deserve that?” Joel asked, teasing. 

“Well, Ellie tried to warn me about you…” You began, but Ellie cut you off. 

“Should have listened….” 

You glared at her. 

“But she wasn’t very clear,” you said. “And if some grown man was messing around with a girl, I was going to kick his ass. Turns out I didn’t have a reason to.” 

Joel laughed. 

“Glad you spared me.” 

You laughed before planting your hands on your hips, looking around the stable for a moment, taking stock. 

“Think things are just about as good as they’re gonna get,” you sighed. “But I think they should be good for a day until we can dig out and get back over here. Just wait for them to finish dinner, put more feed in after…” 

“Think there’s any chance of the patrols making it back tonight?” Ellie asked, her eyebrows drawn together. 

“Probably not,” Joel said. “They got places to ride out shit like storms if they get stuck, they’ll be alright.” 

“Still,” you said. “Had a group that was due back tonight, Jackson was probably the closest point to ride it out. Think I’ll hang out for a bit yet…” 

“I’ll go get us something to eat,” Joel said. “We’ll wait with you, head home after, settle in to ride out the storm.” 

“Can we stay at Bambi’s?” Ellie asked. “She’s got a way better stereo.” 

You smiled. 

“Sure, kid,” you said. “On you to get Joel to dance party, though.” 

“Dance party?” He frowned. 

“You wouldn’t get it, Old Man,” she replied, the hint of a smirk on her face. 

“Don’t get a lot of things about you, Baby Girl,” he said before stretching his back a bit. “Alright, back in a few. Try not to find too much trouble while I’m gone.” 

You and Ellie both rolled your eyes and he couldn’t help but smile as he made his way through the few inches of snow that had already fallen, heading for the mess hall. 

One of Joel’s favorite parts of being back on good terms with Ellie was getting to see your relationship with her. Even before she was mad at him, he wanted her to have someone like you in her life. Another woman she could talk to, look up to, guide her in ways he didn’t fully understand. She needed that and he hadn’t been able to see it happening from the distance she was holding him at before. 

He knew the two of you were close, he just hadn’t realized how close until the last few months. The two of you felt more like family than Sarah’s mother ever had and he treasured it, treasured that you seemed to love his daughter almost as much as he did. 

The mess hall was getting ready for a storm, too, putting together baskets of food to send home with Jackson residents so people wouldn’t be struggling through the storm for their meals over the next few days. He gathered enough to last the three of you for a bit plus some sandwiches for tonight before he started back toward the stables, the wind more forceful and biting than when he’d left just half an hour earlier. 

As he got closer, he noticed tracks in the snow, hoof prints leading to the stables. A patrol had made it back and, for half a moment, he was a little disappointed. If the storm wasn’t as bad as they were expecting and the patrol was able to make it back to Jackson without losing much time, he might not get to spend the day with you and Ellie tomorrow. Ever since the storm started moving in that afternoon he’d been excited for the chance to have some unexpected time just the three of you - almost like playing hooky but with permission. 

But he knew he should just be happy the patrol made it home through the weather, hopefully with all the people intact. Which, he was. But damn if he didn’t love an excuse to spend time with you. 

He opened the door to the stable and quickly moved shut it behind him, expecting to find you taking saddles off horses. Instead, you damn near slammed into him, your eyes wide, not saying a word as you shoved the door open and took off into the snow. 

“Bambi?” He called after you. You didn’t even slow down. He jogged over to Ellie’s perch and set the food down, a tightness starting to grip his chest. 

“No idea,” Ellie said, not waiting for him to ask. “Patrol came back, said something about some people they found outside… She just said ‘savvy’ and took the fuck off.” 

Joel looked around for a second. Julie was standing next to her horse, a confused look on her face. 

“You found people outside?” Joel asked. 

“Yeah,” she said, still staring at where you’d run out. “Yeah, a group of five. We brought them back…” 

“Where are they?” He asked, fighting to keep his voice calm. 

“The clinic…” 

“Ellie,” he said quickly. “Stay put here, alright? I’m gone more than half an hour, head on home. Mine or hers, don’t want you in that little place for this storm, OK Baby Girl?” 

“Yeah,” she nodded, not giving him shit. She looked concerned, too. “Yeah, OK.” 

He gave her a stiff nod and went out into the building storm, following your footprints to the clinic. 

Joel heard you there before he saw you, your voice pleading and desperate as he shut the wind and snow outside. 

“Anything,” you were begging. “Anything at all, a name, an age, hair color, anything, please…” 

“I’m sorry,” a man whose voice Joel didn’t recognize said. “She did say much before she died, just that there was a girl…” 

Joel found you then, in the same room he’d been in when he’d come in from patrol with a bullet in his leg. 

“Where?” You asked. “Where’d you find her? Did she say where she escaped from, how far she’d come?” 

“We picked them up about 15 miles north east of here,” Fred, one of the men on patrol, said. “Just south of Kelly.” 

“Think she came from a camp ground near there,” the other man said. He was skinny, a patch of frostbite on his nose. “Said something about cabins…” 

“Right,” you nodded. “Right, thank you.” 

You turned and ran smack into Joel’s chest. You barely seemed to register it, hardly even glancing at him before ducking around him and running out the door again. 

“She was asking about a girl,” Fred said quickly. “These folks here, had a woman with them before we found them. Said she escaped raiders, that the raiders had a teenaged girl…” 

“Fuck,” Joel muttered under his breath before looking at the other man. “Thanks, Fred.” 

He didn’t wait for a response, just ducking back into the snow, the wind starting to howl now, running to catch up with you. 

You were on your porch by the time he reached you. You didn’t even seem to be aware that he was following you, you were too focused on something else entirely. You didn’t even bother to take your boots off when you got in the house, just ripping the coat closet inside your door open and pulling out your patrol materials as Joel let himself in. 

“Bambi,” he said gently. You looked up at him for a moment, like you were surprised to find him there before you focused back on your pack, shoving in blankets and flashlights. “Come on, honey…” 

“They’ve got her, Joel,” you said, barely glancing at him before you grabbed your bag and half walked, half ran to your kitchen. “Can’t just leave her out there with them, I…” 

“There’s a snowstorm, Sweetheart,” he said gently, trying to keep his voice calm. “It’s not safe…” 

“Doesn’t matter,” you started stuffing food in your bag, no rhyme or reason to it that Joel could see. 

“Yes, it does,” he said, trying to take the pack from you. You yanked it back, a vicious look in your eyes before you ducked around him. “Baby.” 

“I’m not leaving her to those… those…” your voice cracked. “Those fucking monsters, I’m not, I can’t just leave her, I can’t just abandon her, I…” 

“You getting yourself killed won’t help anybody.” It was getting harder and harder to keep the panic from his voice. He’d never seen you quite like this. Close to it when out on patrol and there were signs that raiders were near, signs of their violence, but he’d always been able to pull you back from the edge. He wasn’t sure he could this time. “Bambi, you can’t…” 

“Yes, I can.” 

You moved around him and he followed. 

“I know you want to help people,” he said. “But you can’t help anyone if you get yourself killed. I know you want to save everyone from going through what you went through…” 

“That’s not what this is,” you said, turning in circles like you were looking for something but you couldn’t place it. 

“Then what is it?” He caught you by the shoulders and looked at you, your eyes wide and panicky. “Tell me, help me understand. When the weather clears, I can go with you and…” 

“It’ll be too late then,” you shook your head, tears starting to swell. “As soon as the snow stops they’re going to leave and it’ll be too late, I’ll never catch them and they’ll still have her and I can’t lose her again, Joel, I can’t, I can’t take it, I can’t do this again, please, don’t ask me to do this again I…” 

“Do what?” He asked, pleading, his grip on you firm. “Let me help you, Baby, please, tell me what’s going on. Who…” 

“My daughter!” You said quickly. Joel froze, his heart pounding against his ribs. “I have a daughter, I have a daughter and if it’s her I… I can’t lose her again, I can’t. I have to go get her…” 

“You…” he breathed. 

“My daughter,” you said, eyes wide. “Please, Joel. I think they have my daughter.” 

*** 

Early May, 2013

You lowered your rifle enough that it was no longer an immediate threat and she relaxed a little, letting the pant leg fall over her ankle again. There was a small cry from the bundle in her arms and you frowned, looking between her and it. She carefully lowered it from her chest, looking down to it. 

“Hey, you’re OK sweet girl,” she said gently. “It’s alright…” 

The bundle fussed but didn’t cry again and she looked back to you. 

“Can I get down?” She asked. “Got a lot to talk about and not a lot of time to do it. Figure I’ve got an hour left. Two, tops.” 

“Yeah,” you nodded quickly. “Yeah, OK. Let’s talk.” 

You didn’t invite her in, not wanting to deal with the potential hazard of her turning into one of those inhuman things in your house. She didn’t seem to mind. 

Her name, she said, was Laurel. She was about your age, you guessed, with her dark hair in two thick braids, deep brown eyes and rich umber skin. 

“This is Savannah,” she said, tilting the bundle so you could see inside. “She’s nine months old…” 

You looked at her, awed for a moment. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d seen a baby and you resisted the urge to reach out and run your finger over her chubby, impossibly soft looking cheek. She blinked at you, her brown eyes oddly keen and exacting for a baby, her lashes almost obscenely long. You frowned, leaning in to look closer at her. You knew those impossibly soft, brown eyes set in her lovely russet-hued face. 

“She’s Mark’s,” you said softly, looking up at Laurel. “She’s Mark’s, isn’t she?” 

“Yeah,” she said. “Yeah, she is.” 

“I…” your voice broke. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know he had someone, I wouldn’t have…” 

“It wasn’t like that,” she cut you off. “My husband died about three years ago. He got hurt, it got infected… Not even the fucking apocalypse kind, just the kind that you can clear up with penicillin if you can find the damn stuff. Mark… we were both lonely, looking for something to make it better for a while. It just kind of happened. She just kind of happened.” 

The baby cooed, stretching and reaching for you. 

“Where is he?” You asked, looking back at Laurel. “What happened to him?” 

“Our settlement got overrun,” she said, her voice suddenly thick. “They came out of nowhere and just… He tried. He tried so, so hard, you should know that he tried. But he got bit, on the neck, trying to protect us and… He told me where to find you. That’s what he did with the last few minutes of his life, he told me where to find you, he told me that you’d take care of us, make sure we survived. He told me to tell you that he loved you and that he wanted to come back to you…” 

You found yourself nodding, tears on your cheeks as you looked into the eyes of the man you loved in his child’s face. 

“He died before I got bit,” she said. “He died thinking we had a shot. I kept her safe, though. She was safe…” 

“You did good,” you said, throat tight. “You really did…” 

“I need your help,” she said before taking a deep breath. 

“Course,” you nodded, tearing your eyes away from Mark’s daughter to look at her. “What…” 

“I need you to take Savannah.” 

You just blinked at her for a moment. “I…” you broke off, shaking your head. “What? I… no, no, I’m not who you want, I don’t…” 

“I don’t have a lot of options,” she said. “I don’t have time to find another person let alone someone I know I can trust. And I know I can trust you with her. Mark loved you and you loved him, you won’t let anything happen to his child.” 

“But I…” you looked back at the baby in her arms. “I don’t know anything about kids, I wouldn’t even know where to start, I don’t…” 

“Please,” she said, her voice breaking. “He wanted you to take care of her. I think… I think part of him knew it would just be her. That’s why he sent me here, to you. He wanted it to be you. He trusted you and he loved you, he wanted her to be with you. Please, I’ll beg if I have to, just please take care of her. Please.” 

You looked at the baby in her arms, at Mark’s eyes with the impossibly long lashes. 

“OK.” 

Laurel held her daughter while she told you everything. You paused her to take some notes when you thought of it, things like a recipe for formula when she refused solids and what to do when she started crying but wouldn’t stop. She told you how much her daughter loved to gnaw on bits of apple and loved to bounce in time to her father’s humming and her birthday - July 20. 

She started twitching more in what felt like no time at all, tears gathering at the corners of her eyes. She pressed her lips to her daughter’s forehead. 

“You’ll be OK sweet girl,” she whispered to her. “You’ll be OK. Mama loves you, OK? Try to remember that for me, OK?” She looked up at you. “Will… will you tell her about me? About Mark?” 

You nodded, the pinch of tears tight in your throat. 

“Of course,” you said. “I’ll make sure she knows everything you did for her. She’ll know about you.” 

She nodded, passing you her child. Your child. 

“I’d like to do it myself,” she said, nodding to the gun at your hip. “If that’s OK.” 

“Yeah,” you nodded, adjusting Savannah in your arms and handing Laurel the gun. She took it and walked backwards away from you, her eyes on her daughter. Your daughter. 

“I’ll close my eyes just before,” she said once she was about 20 feet away, still looking at her baby. “Can you cover hers for me? I want to look at her as long as I can but I don’t want her to see…” 

“Yeah,” you nodded again. “I can do that.” 

“Thank you,” she smiled tightly, actually looking at you this time. “I… I know this isn’t what you planned but… It’s easier, knowing she has someone.” 

“I’ll take care of her,” you said. “I’ll love her. I’ll take care of her.” 

Laurel just nodded and looked back at her child, watching her for a moment, the gun in her shaky hand. 

“Mama loves you,” she said softly, raising the gun to her temple and closing her eyes. You quickly pressed Savannah’s face into your chest and held her close. 

Everything was eerily silent for a moment, the longest second of your life, before there was the crack of the gun and the sharp cry of the baby who was all you had left in the world. 

August 2018 

“You have learn this, Savvy.”

“I don’t want to shoot them, Mama,” your daughter looked over at you from her spot on the downed tree, looking at the infected more than 100 feet away through a scope. 

“These are the easiest things you’ll ever have to shoot,” you said gently. “It’s nice to shoot them, you’re making it so they’re not hurting anymore…” 

“But they’re people.” 

Her eyes - her father’s eyes - were so wide. The springs of her curls were bundled back away from her face, a sprinkle of freckles across her nose. 

“I know they look like people,” you ran your hand over the crown of her small head. “But they’re not, not anymore. They’re things that are hurting and the only way to help them is to shoot them. And shooting them keeps you and me safe. Now, you can do this. Do it just like you do at home with the targets.” 

She looked at you, her big eyes watery, before obeying and turning back toward the gun. You watched as she lined up her shot and took a deep breath, exhaling before firing. 

Her shot went a little wide, catching the infected on the arm. It whipped its head around and shrieked before running for you. 

“Mama!” 

“It’s alright,” you said, looking down your own rifle for a moment before firing and hitting it in the head. It dropped like a stone. “See? All OK. This is why we learn.”

“I’m sorry,” her voice was thick and trembling and you looked over at her, tears streaming down her face. “I tried hard, I promise…” she hiccuped and gulped in air and you set your rifle down and sat up before pulling her against you. 

“You did so good,” you kissed the top of her head. “Don’t be sorry, Honey, you did so good, I’m so proud of you.”

“But I didn’t kill them,” she pulled her face from your chest, her lower lip quivering. “I did it wrong and…” 

“You’ll get better,” you said gently. “No one is perfect when they’re learning. This is just to make sure that you’re safe. I’ll always protect you but it’s good for you to know how to protect yourself, too. This is just in case, OK?” 

She nodded against you and you held her until she stopped crying. When she calmed, you ran your thumbs over her cheeks and kissed her small forehead, wishing you didn’t have to teach her these things. If you could just shelter her away from the world - from infected, from the people who has found power because of the infected - then it would all be OK. She wouldn’t need to know how to kill. It could be just you and her, growing things and raising horses and reading by the fire, until the end of time. 

But the world, you knew, was not so kind. 

“Want to go pick out some books?” You asked gently. She nodded and the two of you got up and you took her hand, leading her to the library. 

In the more than five years you’d had Savvy, she had become your entire world. Everything you did, you did for her. To keep her safe, to make her happy, to teach her. You’d known nothing about children when Laurel brought her to you. The first night, you’d held her close while you both cried and you prayed to a god you’d never been sure existed that you would do right by her.

Loving her came easy. Living for her was harder. 

But you fell into it eventually, guiding her through the world as it was now as best you could. If you found a family near your territory, you’d watch them from afar and, once you knew it was safe, bring Savvy to introduce her, give her a chance to know someone besides yourself. You taught her how to read, how to count, how to skin a rabbit. You had no idea if it was the right thing but you hoped it would be enough that, when she was older, she would survive if something happened to you. That’s all that mattered, that she would be OK. 

“Mama?” She asked, setting her picture book on her legs as you browsed the shelves for more books on home schooling and small scale farming.

“Yes baby?” 

“What else would I need to shoot?” 

You frowned and looked down at her, your hand on the spine of a book. 

“What?” 

“Well, you said that the not people are the easiest things I would have to shoot,” she said, face serious. “So… what else would I have to shoot?” 

“I don’t think you’ll like shooting animals much,” you said and she crinkled her nose. “But you’ll probably have to at some point.” 

“But I like animals,” she pouted. 

You smiled. 

“I know you do.” 

“What else?” She asked, still peering up at you. 

You sighed. 

“Sometimes…” you turned your attention back to the books. “Sometimes you’ll have to shoot a person.” 

Her wide eyes somehow grew wider, a look of horror on her face. 

“But…” her little voice broke. “But I don’t want to hurt anyone.”

“I know,” you said quietly. “But sometimes we have to.” 

“Why?” 

“Because,” you looked down to her. “There are things in this world that want to hurt you and you need to know how to hurt them first.” 

“But you’re here,” she said. She was so young, so small. You knelt, getting down on her level. 

“You still need to know how,” you said. “I will do everything I can to protect you but I might fail. You need to know how to destroy them before they destroy you because they will. They will destroy every part of you they can touch if they have the chance. Don’t give them the chance.” 

She considered that for a moment, her face very serious. 

“Does it hurt?” She asked, looking up at you. 

You reached down at cupped her cheek.

“Yes,” you said quietly. “Yes, it does.” 

Her eyes were wide and soft and deep and you wanted, more than anything, to keep her safe. 

“But I’ll take care of you,” you said, stroking her soft skin with your thumb. “For as long as I’m alive, I’ll take care of you.” 

September 15, 2023 

“Mom?” 

You looked up from where you were working at skinning a rabbit. There was a glow in your front window, a hold over from when Savvy was even younger and you had to leave to go check on the horses before bed. She got scared one night when she woke up and found that you weren’t in the dark cabin. Ever since, you always left the electric lantern on when you left in the evenings, even though she said she didn’t need it anymore. It was just enough to work by as the sun got lower outside. 

“Yeah?”

“What…” she paused, an odd look on her face. “What’s in Gattling’s mouth?” 

The dog was hovering behind Savvy’s legs and you leaned around from your position on a tree stump, trying to get a look at her. You frowned, not able to make it out in the low light, and set the rabbit and your knife down, wiping your hands on a rag tucked into your belt.  

Gattling’s tail wagged as you approached, her head low and you squatted down to be on her level, angling her head toward the house so her muzzle wasn’t in shadow. Her snout was red with blood, something dangling from her jaws. You held your palm out flat. 

“Gattling, release.” 

She obediently dropped it in your hand with a sickening splat. It took you a moment to realize that it was a pinky finger. 

“Mom?” Savvy’s voice was shaky. You dropped the finger where you stood and heard the crack of a gunshot in the distance. 

“We have to move.” 

You grabbed her arm and pulled her in the house, Gattling trotting close behind. 

“What’s happening?” She asked, looking back over her shoulder. “Mom, what’s…” 

“Get packed,” you said, grabbing a pack and thrusting at her before running to the dresser in the corner. You shrugged out of the shirt you were wearing and traded it for the one you’d worn when you fled the ranch 20 years earlier, not willing to leave Justin’s shirt behind. “Some clothes, first aid, batteries, flashlights, all three kinds of ammo, sleeping bag.” 

You went to the kitchen and started grabbing things you’d already preserved. Jerky, dried fruit, some seeds. Most of the canteens in the house were full and you grabbed a few. You grabbed the pistol, the shot gun and the rifles. You set it all out on the table and looked over to your daughter who was obediently filling her pack. 

“Leave room for this,” you said, taking your rifle from the pile. “Meet me by the horses as quick as you can. Turn out the lantern on your way.” 

She just nodded. You sprinted for the cabin you’d turned into a stable. Nike was huffed at your arrival and you grabbed her tack and saddled her up as quickly as you could, making sure there was room to add basic supplies. Savvy ran into the pen just as you led Nike and Perseus into the middle of it. 

“Long guns,” you held your hand out as you tightened down straps of the saddle. She handed you the shotgun first and you tucked it into a strap on the saddle. The rifle came next. You stepped back and looked at it for a moment. 

“OK,” you said turning back to your daughter, looking her over. She’d gotten so tall, she was only a few inches shorter than you now, you didn’t even need to stoop to press a kiss to her forehead. “Want you to head north, understand?” 

“What are you talking about?” She asked as you took her arm and guided her alongside the horse. “Mom, you’re coming with me, I’ll just follow you, I’ll just…” 

“I’ll get to you when I can,” you said. She shook her head, her eyes wide. 

“No,” she grabbed your arms. “No, you can’t, you can’t just leave me, you can’t…” 

“I’m not leaving you,” you held her face in your hands, looked into her eyes. She had her father’s eyes. “I’m not, OK? I will find you. I will always find you, sweet girl, I will always protect you. That’s what I’m going to do, OK? I’m going to buy you time. Cut north, stick to the woods, off the trails. You know things here. Go out of the way, work your way around the long way to the library. Meet me there in three days, it should be safe…” 

“Three days?” She gaped at you. “No, I can’t…” 

“Yes you can,” you said, firm enough that you believed it, too. “Yes you can. I’ve taught you everything I know, you can make it. It’s just three days, you’ll be OK. You’re so strong and you’re so smart, you’re going to be OK. I will always find you. I will always protect you, I will always keep you safe. I promise.” 

You pulled her tight to you and kissed her temple. 

“I love you,” you breathed, pulling back to look at her face. “More than anything, I love you. I’ll see you soon, OK? Ride through the night, switch horses at dawn and keep riding until tomorrow night. You can do this.” 

“I can do this,” she repeated. “I can do this.” 

You looked to the dog at your feet, her tail wagging and her muzzle bloody. 

“Gattling,” you said. Her ears perked up. “Savvy.” 

She immediately went to your daughter’s side, ready to protect her. 

You boosted Savvy onto the horse, taking a final look at her. 

“Just three days, right Mom?” 

You swallowed, hard, before nodding. 

“Just three days. Be safe. Be smart. I’ll see you soon.” 

You didn’t have the luxury of watching her ride away. The second her, Nike and Perseus were clear of the paddock, you ran to saddle up Hercules. 

You needed to buy her time. 

October 13, 2023

You were still paying for your escape. 

It was hard to keep track of time. You were with Mitchum and his crew about two weeks the first time. That’s what it felt like, anyway. You were pretty sure it had been about half as long since they got you back. It was hard to tell. You were so panicked, in so much pain that time stretched and expanded and every hour that passed was an hour that you were separated from your daughter and you needed to get to her, you had to. She was just 11 years old and the world was not kind to girls. You’d taught her everything you knew but you had to get back to her, you didn’t want her to have to hurt and kill. 

When you’d escaped, you’d done nothing but search for her. You went to the library, tried to track where you thought she’d have come from but it had been weeks. There was no trail left to follow. You were about to return to your cabin to check there when Mitchum’s men found you again. You still had no idea where Savvy was.

You’d promised to take care of her. You’d promised her, you’d promised the woman who had given her to you a decade earlier. You’d promised. 

You had to get back to her. 

They’d chained you to a wall this time but you thought you might be able to pull the bolt out of the wood if you worked at it diligently enough. You pried at it until your nails were bloody and you kept going. You were covered in blood already, anyway. It was sticky on your skin where it had flowed from the cut on your head where your face had been slammed into the floor as one of Mitchum’s men had taken you from behind while you were on your knees. It had been a steady drip from inside of you since the first time Mitchum forced himself on you when you were brought back, whatever injury there was not given time to heal. The raiders seemed to like it when you bled on them. It even coated part of your arm where one man had cut you when trying to control you, not happy with your lack of compliance as he hurt you. A little more as you tried to pry yourself free wasn’t going to draw attention. 

The door slammed into the wall without warning and you jumped, shocking back from the wall. The man standing there smirked, stalking over to you. 

“Getting ideas are we?” He sneered. He didn’t wait for a response. “Thought you’d have learned your fuckin’ lesson last time…” 

He pulled a key from his pocket and unlocked the cuff that held you before pulling you roughly to your feet. He didn’t give you any clothes, he just pulled you, naked, out to the circle of men around a campfire. Your heart sped up, tried to count them. You weren’t sure you could survive being at the mercy of the more than two dozen who were here, not at one time. He threw you into the dirt and you caught yourself on your hands and knees. 

“Here’s my favorite little bitch,” Mitchum stalked forward. You sat back on your heels and crossed your arms over your chest, trying to protect what you could. “How have you liked being back home? We keepin’ you entertained?” 

A few of the men laughed. You swallowed and peered around, hoping for something you could take advantage of, just one open space, one unguarded moment and you could escape. For good this time. You could do that, you could escape and figure out where you were and then find Savvy. 

“Figured out what you were hidin’ back in that homestead of yours,” Mitchum said, a smirk on his voice. You looked at him, eyes wide. Your stomach dropped and he laughed. “Didn’t think you’d like that. Can see why you were workin’ so hard now, she sure was a pretty little thing.” 

“Fuck you,” you spat. 

He laughed. 

“That can be arranged,” he said. “Fucked that girl of yours, too. Broke her in real good…” 

You were on your feet before you fully realized what you were doing, running for him. You grabbed at his face, snarling and grasping as you sank your bloody nails into his skin. You dug deep and he punched you in the stomach as one of his men pulled you back, forcing you to the ground. 

“I’ll kill you!” You shrieked. “I’ll fucking kill you!” 

He stalked forward and punched you across the face before grabbing a fistful of your hair, forcing you to look at him. You felt blood on your teeth and you wished it was his. You wanted to rip his throat out like an animal, wanted to claw and bite at him until he succumbed. 

“I wanted to keep the both of you,” he said, holding your hair tight in his fist, fingers against your scalp. “Figured you’d be a lot more fun with her life on the line. Too bad she couldn’t take it.” 

The world tilted on its axis. You hadn’t eaten in days but you still felt like you were going to be sick, like everything inside of you, the blood and the viscera that made you a living being, was going to come up. 

“Oh yeah,” he smirked. “Should’ve probably been more careful with her but it was just so much fun to hear her beg for her mama…” 

“You’re a liar,” you hissed through clenched teeth. “A fucking liar!” 

He kept his eyes on you and he whistled before forcing you to look at the fire. Two men stepped forward, each carrying burlap sacks. One was much larger than the other. 

“Show ‘er.” 

The first man, the one with the large bag, turned it over. A horse head fell out of the sack, landing on the dirt with a wet thud. It took you a second to recognize her, separate from her body, but it was Nike. You screamed, the sound clawing its way up from your chest and you instinctively reached for her only to have Mitchum rip you back by your hair. 

“Wanna see what’s in the other bag?” He pressed his mouth against your ear as you sobbed. “Decided to keep her head, thought I should pass it around, see if it’s as good cold…” 

You strained in his hold, trying to shake your head. You couldn’t get yourself to form words. There was the distinct feeling that someone was cracking you open, prying apart your chest and pulling your organs out one by one. They didn’t belong to you anymore. You weren’t sure they ever really had, they were hers and she was gone.

You couldn’t see her like that, see just her head, like she had only ever been parts and pieces to begin with.  

“Please,” you managed through the gasping, racking sobs. “Please, please, no, I’ll do whatever you want, whatever…” 

Mitchum smiled. 

“Good.” 

The pain of the brand barely registered in your mind, even as your body jerked with it. Everything seemed dulled and numbed. Time slowed and stretched and, for a while, the only thing that your body seemed to have space for was the agonizing pain of losing something you were never built to lose. 

It was a year before there was room for anything else. 

Early April, 2027 

“Bambi…” 

“Move, Joel.” 

You shoved past him. You’d need a sleeping bag, two sleeping bags, actually. An extra pair of boots, she probably didn’t have those. She’d have out grown the last ones she had, she would be 14 now, she’d be even taller, have bigger feet, longer legs. They didn’t give you clothes when you were with them, you doubted it was different for her. 

First aid, that you’d need. 

“You can’t do this, Baby,” he was following close behind you. 

“Yes, I can.” 

“You’re gonna get yourself fucking killed,” there was a strain in his voice. “Who knows what you’ll be walking into out there, how many there’ll be, how armed they’ll fuckin’ be, what they’ll do to you if they get your hands on you…” 

“I have to try.” 

You didn’t have a gun here. You’d have to get one, you were pretty sure Maria would give you one if you told her why you needed it. 

“Just…” Joel sounded desperate. “Just wait, until after the storm, just wait, I’ll go with you, we’ll look, we’ll…” 

“It’ll be too late,” you shook your head. “Someone got out, as soon as the weather clears they’re gonna move and we’ll lose them, it has to be now.” 

“Have you seen how shit’s pickin’ up out there?” He came around in front of you, taking you by the shoulders. “Baby, the wind is gonna knock you off your damn horse, you can’t help her if you’re dead, please, I’m begging you, please…” 

“What would you do?” You asked. “If it was Sarah, if it was Ellie. Would you sit here and wait? Or would you go get her?” 

He froze, looking at you. 

Your knife. You’d need your knife. You went to get it but Joel stopped you, his hand on your elbow. 

“Bambi,” he said quietly. “You can’t know that it’s her.” 

“It could be,” you said. “Joel…” 

“It’s been years,” he whispered. “Baby, it’s been years, there’s… I’m so sorry but she’s… They wouldn’t have let her live this long, she couldn’t have survived this long, she’s gone, I’m so sorry…” 

You shook your head. You had that feeling again, like the one you had that day around the fire when Mitchum had told you he’d killed her, the feeling that your whole self was being ripped apart. 

But you’d never seen that she was gone. You never held her body, never saw the life leave her eyes. You didn’t know that she was gone. She could be alive. She could. 

“You don’t know that,” you said, your voice thick. “You don’t…” 

“You barley survived,” he said softly. “You, the strongest fucking person I know and you damn near died. A teenager couldn’t have survived that, Baby, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry and…” 

“No,” you snapped, swallowing back your tears. “You don’t know, you don’t know them like I do…” 

“I do,” he cut you off. “Sweetheart, I am begging you, stay here. Please. Don’t get yourself killed, if it’s her we will find her as soon as it’s safe…” 

“You don’t know!” You pushed him back. He was costing you time, time you didn’t have. Savvy was out there, she was out there alone and afraid and you were going to find her. “Let me go, Joel. I know them, you don’t understand them, you can’t understand them…” 

“I understand them because I used to be one of them!” 

You froze. He was watching you, his eyes wide and desperate as he panted for breath. Your heart was pounding, there was a high pitched whine in your ears, something like a siren or when you first came to Jackson and could hear the electricity in the walls. 

“What?” You whispered, suddenly keenly aware of how close he was to you, of his hand on you. You could feel the outline of his fingers, each individual callus distinct against your skin. 

“I used to be one,” he said softly. “A… a raider, I used to be one. It was a long time ago but I know how they think, I know how they operate and… I’m sorry but if they’ve had her for three and a half years? She’s gone, Sweetheart. There’s nothing left for you to save…” 

You thought Joel was still talking but you couldn’t hear him. It was like you’d just jumped into deep water, the cold of it shocking and painful and the rush of it drowning out everything you knew. You couldn’t hear, couldn’t breathe, could barely see. 

Joel. Your Joel, the person you trusted more than any other, was a raider. He was like them, like the men who had torn you away from your daughter, who had raped you, who had tortured you, who now might be doing the same to your child right now and Joel knew them because he was like them because he had done those things, too. 

“Don’t touch me.” 

You were suddenly in your body again, out of that deep dark water and back in your house. Joel’s hands were on you and it was like they were on fire, you could feel it through your skin into your muscle, your bone, down into the marrow of you it hurt where his hands were on you. 

“Baby,” he said gently and you forced yourself to look at his face. You couldn’t breathe. You’d kissed him, told him things you’d never told anyone, all but begged him to touch you and he was just like them. 

“Don’t touch me!” You screamed it and he ripped his hands away like you’d burned him. You could breathe again and gulped in air, reaching for the back of your couch. You needed something to keep you standing, you felt like you were going to collapse or throw up. Joel’s hands were up, like he was waiting to catch you if you fell. “Don’t touch me, don’t you fucking touch me!” 

“You’re OK,” he said, keeping his hands off of you but stepping closer. “I’ve got you, you’re OK…” 

“Get away from me!” You backed away from him, looking for the best way out of here. You had to get away from him, he wasn’t safe, he was just like them and you had to get away from him, you couldn’t be anywhere near him. “Get away!” 

You said it again and again and again and you kept backing away from him until you were pressed against the wall. Joel stayed where he was and, when you were able to look at him again, it looked like he was in pain. 

“I’m away,” he said softly, his hands up. “Not gonna touch you, Sweetheart…” 

“Don’t call me that,” you were sobbing and you weren’t sure when you’d started. 

“What?” He whispered. 

“Don’t fucking call me that!” You bit out, staying back against the wall. He was so big, he could overpower you, he could hurt you, it would be easy for him. “Don’t call me that, not when you’re like them, you’re just like them, I trusted you and you’re just like them…” 

“No,” he shook his head, voice thick. He closed the gap between you quickly and you shocked back from him but he didn’t seem to notice, taking you in his arms and clutching onto you. But his touch made your skin crawl, everywhere his body was against your own screaming in panic. “No, not like that, I never… I never did what they did to you, Sweetheart, please, you have to believe me, I never did that, never. I just…” 

“I trusted you!” You sobbed, your legs collapsing from beneath you. Joel clung to you, keeping you from falling to the floor, but you hated his hands on you, suddenly feeling like hands you’d hated so much. You twisted and fought to get away but he just held onto you. “I trusted you, you made me love you, I let you inside of me and you’re like them, you’re just like them…” 

“I’m sorry, Baby,” his voice was thick and wet. “I’m so sorry, I wish I could take it back, wish I could change it…” 

You managed to firmly plant your feet on the ground and you shoved against his broad, firm chest, desperate for distance from him. 

“Don’t fucking touch me!” 

He let you go and you scrambled back from him, fighting to breathe. He was looking at you, tears in his eyes. 

“Baby, please,” he whispered. “Please just… let me take care of you, I understand what…” 

“I don’t want anything to do with you,” your voice shook. 

“Bambi…” 

“Get out,” you managed. 

He said your name. Your real name. 

“Get out!” You screamed, so loud and harsh you felt it ripping out of you. “Get out of here, get away from me, get out!” 

“I’ll go!” He kept his hands up. “Just gotta promise me…” 

“I don’t gotta do shit for you,” you shook your head. 

“Promise me you won’t do anything that will get you hurt,” he said softly, He was crying, too. “Please, I’m begging you, I’ll do whatever you want just promise….” 

“I won’t, now get out!” You yelled. “Get out, get away from me!” 

“I’m going,” he said quickly. “Please… Please, be safe, please.” 

You watched as he made his way to your door but he stopped and looked back at you. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “For… for all of it, I’m so sorry.” 

He closed the door behind him and you collapsed to the ground and sobbed, clutching onto yourself like it was going to keep your body intact but it still felt like you were going to shatter into a million pieces and there would be no one to help put you together again. 

You weren’t sure how long you were there on the floor but, eventually, you were able to make yourself move again. 

You thought of Savvy, of your daughter, of where she might be, of how you’d promised to keep her safe. You got up off the floor, body numb, and grabbed your pack before going out into the snow. 

Next Chapter

A/N: Alright, yell at me. I'm ready for it.

There's a lot in this chapter, I know. It's long, it's rough, it's been coming for a while. We first got a hint of Savvy in chapter 4 when Bambi thought about Joel's possible relationship to Ellie and she's been hinted at regularly since. She's why Bambi knew to use ginger to help William's teething, she's why Bambi was specifically grateful to have another adult around when Marisa showed up, she's why Bambi keeps searching every time there's even a hint of raider activity.

And after everything she's been through, she can't just blindly accept Joel's past, that's way WAY too much for anyone who's survived what she has to bear.

I hope this didn't come completely out of the blue and I hope you're still up for reading more of this story. I hope it'll be worth it in the end. I think it will be.

Thank you for being here. This is a story that I feel like deserves to be told, even the dark parts of it, and I'm so thankful you're along for the ride. Love you ❤️

Taglist: @ashleymsnodgrass@planet-marz1@kalea-bane @juneswonderlust@ilovepedro @h-annahayy @starstruckmusiciansartghost@beccerjune@mumma-moonchild@netonetoneto@mellymbee@purplelye@n7cje@flugazi@evyiione@randomhoex@aliengirl99@orcasoul@reds-ramblings@pedropascalsbbg @fupoola @tinypotatothing @knopes-waffles @lilmizmoz @ayamenimthiriel@jenispunk@panda-pascal@sarap-77@flugazi@your-slutty-gf@daniegraceg@partyofone3413@cumberpegg@noisynightmarepoetry.@fifia-writes@grumpygrumperton @srmacaroni @txlady37 @bigboiseason123

[kaythefloppa]

Wild Kratts - Our Blue and Green World: Part 1: Review [Spoilers]

Welp, here it is, the Wild Kratts TV movie (not to be confused with the feature film they've been teasing us with since 2021). There's been a lot of hype around this special and season, especially with how much the latter was being hyped up during the hiatus. Let's see if the blue and green bros were able to deliver: Spoilers under the cut

Well, this is certainly an attention grabber!

This entire live action intro is shot and edited like an animated Wild Kratts episode, it's glorious.

Woah, intro change!

They said the thing! They said the thing!

HELP THIS IS SO RELATABLE. Also, THE BOYS ARE FIGHTING

Lmao I don't think they do it very often, but using animals/nature in their insults is very creative.

Also, whooping crane episode when?

This entire song is mercifully short. Like most character sung songs in Wild Kratts, it's not good, but this at least is clever in its lyrics and its visuals. It feels like a Disney reference at best and I am content with that. I also ADORED seeing the Draco and Walrus Suit return again. It's arguably the best musical number in the series. No, that is not saying a lot.

MARTIN WHY ARE YOU THE ONE WHO'S MIFFED YOU NEARLY MUFASA'D YOUR LITTLE BROTHER

CHRIS WHY ARE YOU MILDLY INCONVENIENCED YOU GOT ACRAPHOBIA FALLING FROM THAT HEIGHT

When I first saw the clip, I thought that they were going somewhere with this, like they'd activate Peacock Powers at the end when they recognized the compatibility and blue and green. But nope. Wasted potential is an understatement.

Also, where the fuck are they right now? In a previous shot there was Target the Chameleon, implying that they've been to Madagascar, but that is an Indian peafowl, and as far as I'm concerned, they don't live in Madagascar. Were they just having an off-day? These animals have little to nothing to do with the plot when they really shouldn't have, so I don't see why they couldn't have just shown a projector image or something.

Remember when I joked about the Wild Pony Power Suit returning in S7.... fuck you Apollo.

Man, they are eating it up with the animation here. It's hard to tell with screengrabs but man, is it fluid.

The first half of this episode is mixed. While it feels like the brothers are incredibly stubborn, it also does make sense for them to be this fixated on their favorites. So I can totally buy this. It could've been insufferable to watch, but it wasn't.

As if YOU haven't spied on them since the first time your dorito-headed ass showed up on screen

Did you find that funny? Because not only do they do a similar joke like that later on, but they follow through on that joke in the most unexpected way you will shit your pants when you first ingest it.

Oh my god if they make a Creature Power Suit off of that bird, I will take back any diss I've made, that is so beautiful.

Good to know that Aviva put the button near the chest and not near the back.

Maybe it's just me but this is kinda pushing it. Chris is literally getting his organs crushed, I think that should matter more than A) being right or B) trying to get 2 people to stop fighting.

I'm loving the callback and what this leads up to but ew, all this does is remind me about how ugly bright the color pallatte in S6. Really glad they fixed it in S7.

HELL FUCKING YES

This episode finds really unique ways of showing how the two different biomes are interconnected. It's like Rainforest Stew's (very brilliantly handled) message only to a larger degree. Kids can learn a lot from this.

I fucking love this episode, man.

Honestly, the way they write Paisley in the first half of the episode is very in-line with her character. Most shows that do what this episode does has them be out-of-character as a set-up, but here, she's just roasting the fuck out of Zach. Once again, recontextualized entirely in the climax.

HOW THE FUCK DID HE GET TO MADAGASCAR FROM THE GODDAMN AMAZON IN ONE AFTERNOON THAT IS LIKE MORE THAN 1,000 MILES AWAY?? ARE ANACONDAS THAT FAST?????

Also, INDRIS!!!!! :D

I was frankly expecting this to horribly backfire but spoilers, it doesn't. This actually winds up working. Common Aviva W.

To be continued.... will the blue and green rivalry end? Will one prove superior over another? And will they be able to stop Zach and Paisley and save the planet earth? And will this change the adventures of the Wild Kratts team forever? Stay tuned for part 2!

Pros:

The live action segments.

The animation of the earth's model.

The musical number not being ass.

Paisely's catty behavior.

The Anaconda Suit.

The inventive ways they show how the stability of the Earth is complex. There are a lot of ways it functions and thus a lot of ways it needs to survive

The comedy.

Cons:

The villains do not do anything until the second half of this episode. In fact, they're left completely in the backdrop. I expected them to make their prescence known and for Aviva to invent the discs to get them together for the SAKE of fighting the villains. But no. It makes the stakes feel hollow, which is the opposite of what they should be gunning for in an hour long special that they hype the shit out of.

CONCLUSION:

It was an "okay" set-up. It did live up to some of the hype it had, but not all of it. Honestly if it wasn't for the second half of this episode, this movie would be mediocre or slightly above average, but no. They do pick themselves off the ground and... they do jump the shark. But we'll get to that next time

[ketaks]

“why Atlantis?”

I shared some very quick and informal thoughts a while back on why I hoped enough children grew up with the movie (or are discovering it now) to be influenced by Kida despite her exclusion from the “Disney Princess” brand; or by Milo as an unconventional hero who might remind them of themselves. that post received a couple of standout personal additions from mutuals, so I thought I would share my own “Atlantis story” whether anyone asked for it or not, because it is a bit different. it’s a so-so sample of my writing to lead with, and it came out schmaltzier than intended. but it’s how my pen happened to hit the paper in the moment and shows pretty clearly my typical romanticism, for better or worse.

I was eight years old on opening day in 2001 and as ecstatic as a little girl could be. my mom and I had taken a day trip to see my dad, who out of the goodness of his heart had agreed to sit through a local children’s entertainer in the afternoon and then a Disney movie in the evening. but in between singing puppets and my difficulty keeping still and responding as expected to questions and social cues, his patience started wearing and my mom slipping into a helpless bystander role. when we got to the theater, I had a gut feeling nobody was in for a fun time.

“two adults, one child for Atlantis,” my dad groaned at the ticket window.

I felt I was sitting between one person having teeth pulled and another smiling for the most awkward photos of her life. my mom was always my animated movie buddy, so her silence especially was deafening. her chuckle at Milo in the boiler room was a pin dropping, and her breath in on Helga’s “ho, ho, ho” was a disquieting hiss.

…alright, my dad finally motioned as the Leviathan tore across the screen.

“they talk so fast, it’s hard for me to understand them. and there aren’t even any songs,” was the most explanation my mom would give. the ride home was long, silent, and pitch-black as I lay across the backseat. I wanted to know what happened to Milo, but the wooziness of shame swirling through me let me know that wanting wasn’t even worth it.

pin trading was at its peak the next year at Disney World, and I was on a mission to fill my new pink lanyard with all my favorite characters before the trip was done. in very little time I found myself gazing up at a cast member wearing a Milo pin, and I shocked myself how quickly I asked her for it. I hoped holding onto it would reassure me that that wonderful story and character would wait for me as long as I needed.

watching the movie in high school felt a bit like the very rare party I was lucky enough to inexplicably find myself. I loved what I saw, but I felt my simply being there was a fluke. I wondered at first why I struggled to enjoy beyond arm’s length, but the damage was still in effect. it only reminded me again what I wished every single day: that my brain had kept developing normally, and all the things my autism either distorted or outright forbid would have happened exactly as they were meant. and since attitudes toward special interests had far to go, what would have fed me soup and covered me in kisses at age six could only visit through the glass at sixteen.

the days of LiveJournal and early Tumblr and Instagram came and went, and “Disney adult” culture went from a trickle to a wave. I attended community college as an English major and met my sister-bestie there on Halloween 2013, she dressed as Violet Parr and I as Minnie Mouse. our Anna and Elsa cosplay just a month later on opening night of Frozen couldn’t have been more fitting. a decade later, she made my dream come true of finally seeing Disney World as an adult, and no planning could have prepared me for the personal growth that trip would inspire. I loved throwing my arms around Mirabel in the Magic Kingdom because of, not despite, the emotional control that had finally taken hold at thirty. I wouldn’t have traded that interaction for the one awaiting the costumed little girl right behind me. that realization shook me to the bone.

“don’t cry because it’s over. smile because it happened,” my dad would tell me countless times since childhood with only the best intentions. “I haven’t been able to stop smiling,” I told him week after week following my trip. falling asleep for months scrolling back through those four special days was the most satisfying thing ever.

then one night, deep within a Magic Kingdom dream like any other, there they were. Milo Thatch and Princess Kida, just as they appeared in the “rare character guide” videos I had watched before the trip many months ago. they were hugging a child who had just run up to meet them: a young girl who looked very familiar. that settles it, I thought. the circle had at last closed.

now about once a week, my darling pup hears, “ready for Atlantis?” or “ready for Milo?” and leaps to my side in bed as I start the movie on my laptop. indeed, it feels exactly like a big warm hug every time. the artistry, the story, the characters, the humor, the heart. Milo is every bit the hero I needed as an uncertain child who loved words and language but hated being different…but he’s the one I got as an adult finding peace with her brain and eager to keep chasing her dreams. I’m writing more original words every day, journaling again, and speaking and thinking more fluidly all because of jotting down random thoughts about this movie and liking how they sounded. I’ve also put aside the idea that the influencer path might bring me joy, and I feel comfortable online again and have met some great folks so far through fan works and discussions from silly to profound.

and so I thank that little voice that whispered for 23 years: “…Atlantis is waiting.”

[weaselbeaselpants]

For those curious, I don't got dirt or shit on VivziePop. As I've made clear before I followed her back in 2009 and I talked to her like on devintart and tumblr 1 or 2 times. No, I don't remember what was said between us really or exactly. The tumblr blog I remember hearing back from her is long dead so I have no receipts.

I kinda lost interest in her because her fanbase was way too intense and mean in 2014 (no idea about any of the Dollcreep drama), and because I was also in a soft antisjw phase myself then and reading BadWebcomicsWiki - I saw her being talked about all throughout the forums on that hellsite up and until 2017. I also saw the completely different forum posts made there about Hazbin at the time- which os of course how I learned about the Dollcreep fiasco, frootrollup1, and Angel Dust r@pe art someone did of Viv.

If you interested and/or curious about any personal anecdotes I can remember from the best of memory -these are NOT facts, though I'm happy if anyone else can back them up if u also have memories of this- I can list those out:

-I found Viv through her fanart first and specifically her fanart of Shane Acker's 9. I loved Viv's fanart- it was always so distinct in her own style but still recognizable. Anyone else in the 9 fandom remember that "design a beast" contest deviantart had? Yeah she took place in that. She also did artwork of the stitchpunks inspired by Kinkei's chibi-pinup style. They were not as sexy as that would have you believe. She did fanart for Rango, Adventure Time, Regular Show, Rio, and Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs. Also remember her begrudgingly liking Tangled after the fact because it wasn't 2D like Princess and the Frog was.

-The first time I saw Viv's characters in comic form it was in a comic where it was Halloween and the ZP gang (Zill, Kayla, Jack, Spam, and Vanex) were trick or treating and got stuck in some dark twisted version of their home. Isn't this the plot to the Invader Zim Halloween episode?

-Ickle!Viv was pretty skilled at drawing animals. Personally I think she still is but this was specifically the thing which stood out about her to me. I really love when she drew/draws animals. I also actually think her creatures look genuinely good, especially the dragon looking ones.

-Viv was ALWAYS so clamoring and adoring of her fandoms, especially animated stuff. Even on deviantart, animation fans are cynical and snarky so it was nice to see someone with their own established style be into movies that other people would mock you for as a teenager or god forbid an adult. Didn't make you feel so alone.

-I saw Viv's ZP gang develop in style from 2009-2013 and I gotta say I liked her og cast so much more when they were teenytiny and children. Zill just looked better then.

-Speaking of Zill, before I saw one of her posts getting mad at people who called Zill a "neopet"...I said her style reminded me of neopets. I was 12! I didn't know and also I hadn't gotten to that one doodle in her gallery at the time where Zill and 2009!Viv were cursing out this blob for calling him that.

-I also personally saw Alastor develop from out of those days, or at least the character who would become Alastor. It was the red black, buck-looking deer from 2006-2008ish who's disc Viv said was "the evilest character in all of zoophobia!!" I know she liked the directtovideo disney sequels and really liked Bambi II. I'm not convinced Alastor and Autumn don't exist souley because of Bambi II.

-I have no proof of it happening on my end because I ended up deleting a shit ton of crap on my old deviantart out of embarrassment and I think Viv deleted her posts about it. But a distinctly remember an artist in around 2011/2012 w I was really into art trades did a trade with me where they drew my 9 oc, in spite of us really not connecting in any particular way or being 'close'. They worked in traditional medium and had he/him pronouns and their art was so obviously inspired from Viv's. It wasn't traced, though- just very Viv-inspired.

I remember watching Viv and also that guy when suddenly Viv and Faustisee made a huge callout graph showing the artstyle and characters that had been stolen from her and she showed that guy's work. I also distinctly remember saying in Viv's journal abt the callout something along the lines of "this is bad, but, this guy is a friend of mine [rlly barely mutuals], he didn't mean it". To which Viv replied with something like: "then tell ur friend that what he's doing is bad >:c". So I did and that's when he told me he'd been told enough by her base how to feel and that he was leaving dA. And he left. and nuked his entire gallery, including his part of art trade, which made finding the proof of this encounter even harder to track down. Because he was no longer there, I deleted the piece I did for him as part of my mass embarrassment deletion.

-There was one other encounter I had personally' with Viv that I do remember and it's only because she was actually friendly to me and I liked that coming from my what was, at the time, a fav artist: I like the 2012 Frankenweenie remake and was really incensed back in the day that people weren't liking it because it is a ymmv-case. One of those people happened to be Viv and I def remember messaging her about how "I disagree with you, hmf" and then having INSTANT REGRET and suddenly spamming her with this way too personal "I'm sorry please don't hate me"-ventrant thing and, for all I know the Viv stans can be overly apologetic, I really do think it was my indiagnosed OCD/ADHD talking there. Anyway, what was sweet of her to do even in a passing way was she was all "it's okay. you didn't upset me but lol yeah ur not changing my take on frankenweenie either".

Viv describes herself as "being everyone's friend" and really- where there are a lot of points now that I don't think she cares if she is, most of the time I think the problem is she doesn't know how mean or backhanded she is. She really does strike me as the kind of person who never grew out of 2000s-2010s highschool and that petty thing were you get angry and lash out at others behind their backs but then sweet up after that, and where you think lovebombing = being genuinely appreciative. And yeah, that's still abusive and volatile. Because, and this is all from a decade ago and an antidote I only recall because it was Viv, but I truly didn't get the feeling that Viv thought I was beneath her or that she was trying to own me buy telling me she didn't like the movie I did. The vibe I got from her was "I don't really care about this but also I don't want you freaking out, calm down".

I rb a bunch of critical stuff (still don't like antiHazbin shit) because, and I still mean this, I do still genuinely like her style and wish I could be in her fandom w/o her stans basically gatekeeping me from being my own fan. I really am disappointed as the fan I am that Viv doesn't take better care of herself, her shows or the people working for her.

[monkey-network]

Good Stuff: Best Movies of 2023

This was NOT a great year for blockbusters, huh? This was probably Disney's worst in years, multiple flops including what was meant to be their centennial anniversary film. It looked remarkably by the numbers, but think of the conglomerate's losses... Anyway, this to me was a pretty great year for films. Like 2022, I'm amazed at the variety we got that says more about the shifting tides of people's interest in movies. It was the most times I've been to the theater. We got a big worker's strike over the summer, especially large push back against degenerates trying to push AI to do more than just shitposting. And it was enough for me to know Adam Sandler, Godzilla, and Hayao Miyazaki could get the better of Disney. With this said, let this be a first for Good Stuff and count down my favorites of this year.

12. Renfield

My suspicions were on the money and I'm glad I gave this a shot in the theaters. Cage was the best Dracula I could've asked for in what you might say was an Adult Swim-esque dark comedy. It definitely has that style of gruesomeness and humor given Robert Kirkman and the Writer/Director behind Moral Orel made this. Unfortunately, Ben Schwartz stuck out like a sore thumb even if he fulfills his purpose in this, reminding me of Christopher Mintz-Plasse in KickAss; I feel he or Jason Schwartzman would've been better suited. Plus it can feel all over the place, an identity crisis that you can't even grasp after it finishes. Then again, I just had fun watching and would gladly rewatch for Cage and Hoult who are the highlights of this.

11. Migration

Call it blasphemous, but I enjoyed this more than the Mario movie. It's essentially Rio mixed with National Lampoon's Vacation, with a lovable cast, solid animation, and an eazy breezy road trip story. I've always looked to Illumination for simple enjoyable romps and I got what I expected here. Gave me Amphibia vibes in a way, replace frogs with birds. Everything surrounding the villain is my only real issue, he was an obvious and very nothing bad guy, but it's overall better paced than Super Mario Bros where it felt like you watched an eternity in 3 minutes. Still don't get the air of folk looking down on this for just being serviceable when it's honestly become my favorite Illumination movie next to the first Despicable Me.

10. Killers of the Flower Moon

Sad to say this is the weakest Scorsese movie for me, mainly because it felt like we're following the wrong main character. Lily Gladstone is incredible in this, among the other great performers, but she felt sidelined in favor of DeCaprio and De Niro's perspectives. It's like if in 1995's Casino, we just follow Ginger throughout the moment Sam introduces her. I liked the turmoil Leo's character goes through, but it paled in comparison to Mollie who was more affected by his and Hale's actions. That does not mean it's all bad. This can be a beautiful, dynamic, and ruthless movie that just made me feel bad for watching it; running with the words "harsh reality" throughout the 3 and a half hour runtime.

9. Good Burger 2

I watched Good Burger 1 & 2 this Thanksgiving weekend, and just had a blast. These are the kind of movies that are charmingly stupid but not insultingly so. Kel Mitchell's Ed is emblematic of how much dumb fun this duology is where he's actively comical but not smoothbrained to ruin your time. This I say is like Home Alone 2 where it is just beat for beat the 1st movie with minor developments but that doesn't really matter when it's just as well put together. It never feels like Kenan nor Kel missed a beat and the drama not overstaying its welcome. It is just "Good Burger Again" without it feeling like diminishing returns compared to other rehashing sequels.

8. Leo

Can you believe this got better publicity than Disney's Wish? Even YMS could appreciate this movie, that's how you know Sandler has his recognizable game when you least expect it. But Leo is a surprisingly good comedy that has actually sincere moments. Being Happy Madison's 2nd ever animation, it's like Adam waited to refine the production as opposed to putting a cash grab together like one would expect. It's not all good, especially trying to be a musical, but seeing it once you'd be impressed how much good it does with the risks it takes.

7. Nimona

Like Migration, everything surrounding the villain is the one big issue I have with this, especially when it comes to affecting the film's message. At the same time, she pales in comparison to the dynamic pairing of Ballister Blackheart and the titular shapeshifter. Nimona is my favorite character of 2023, her energy and confidence matched by the struggle she bears existing alone and the facade made to band-aid it. Her and Ballister's journey alone made me glad this got out of development hell, being Blue Sky's final production posthumous. To me it wasn't about being a take that to Disney, it was about the fact a movie like Nimona got to exist as great as it did. Hoping Stevenson is satisfied with their adaptation, because it definitely earned its flowers.

6. Emesis Blue

Offhand, it openly sucks that Letterboxd refuses to let this stay on the site to log, but it can't be overstated how much of a marvel this was. Repurposing not just the characters, but the lore and mechanics of Team Fortress 2 into a feature length horror thriller. The animation's top notch where it can have godly framing that was on par with the known legends of horror film making. SFM animations can be beautiful on their own, shitpost or otherwise, but Emesis Blue goes a step beyond by having a compelling story fitting for the universe on top of, again, every frame being a painting.

5. Shin Kamen Rider

I've never really saw any Tokusatsu shows. Not that I hate the genre, just could never get into it while recognizing the glorious looking chaos found in clips. Knowing Hideaki Anno directed was what got me into seeing this film and it opened my mind quite a bit. This was the legacy film that definitely had Anno's touch in both the action and drama. While the climax can notably drag, you never feel left out of what was essentially the original Kamen Rider's origin story. It doesn't have the complex VFX of stuff like Marvel, but the costumes and fight scenes makes me wish we got more of this in America beyond Power Rangers.

4. TMNT Mutant Mayhem

Advertising before release really didn't make this appear like a promising film. If there's anything I learned from this year though, appearances can be deceiving. Like Nimona was for her movie, the creative choices for this made it the TMNT movie I never knew I wanted. To me this felt akin to the Lego Batman movie where it's not only a good love letter of the franchise for more than its fanservice, but this spin on the characters is able to have a new sincere view of them without overhauling everything about the TMNT. That and it has the greatest needle drops I've had in a long while like how do insert He-Man Fabulous Secret Powers and expect me to hate this?

3. Godzilla Minus One

I call this a great year for films because it marks the first time I got to see a Toho produced Godzilla, with subtitles, in an real movie theater. Needless to say, it felt like I got to enjoy the 1954 film again anew. Not a remake mind you, but the parallels were uncanny and this spins here work just as well, if not more here than with the original in a couple places. Both are still strong movies nonetheless. Minus One is a refurbish that dishes out what people always wanted and uniquely giving a little more while never sacrificing why the OG is that timeless. With it getting more than a limited release, I'm glad this got to be more than a niche celebration of the kaijuu king.

2. Oppenheimer

This film's been meme'd to heaven, hell you could say it got meme'd to success thanks to its dual release with Barbie, but it didn't undermine getting hooked to watching this anyways. This really has become my favorite Nolan film, a compelling biopic that doesn't exactly herald its titular lead in the best light thanks to the paradoxical storytelling. Oppenheimer gives us the largest ensemble I know, and delivers in the most breathtaking moments I never knew I could get. Cillian killed it among the many who made the three hours of people sitting and talking in rooms actually tense and intriguing to thread. Plus it gave us the beauty of Josh Peck being the guy to detonate the test bomb like cherry on top of this cinematic cake.

1. The Holdovers

I remember watching Alexander Payne's Sideways with Paul Giamatti as a high schooler but couldn't appreciate it until rewatching this year. It's one of the best mid-life crisis comedies you could see, still fresh in its easy going presentation and music. The same can be said for this film, made to feel like it came from the late 70s or 80s with the old opening logos that I didn't think you could do in these times. Out the gate, this was the holiday story I was shocked would be as relatable as it was, with the trio of Giamatti, Randolph, and Sessa each having their story that resonated with me strongly. With the right amount of time, Payne offers an remarkably cozy, down to earth movie where from reserved to outgoing, it did a lot for me emotionally. Like Netflix's Klaus, I kinda want this to be a traditional rewatch for the holiday seasons. One that everyone should try at least once, especially if they feel the disillusionment of the season where this might lift their spirits one way or another.

If there's anything to learn from this year, it's that the meta has definitely shifted. Even when the many on my list didn't make billions like the Avatar films, the variety and risks made spoke more than the big dogs like Disney and WB putting out unprofitable blockbusters that ranged from very by the numbers to you don't need to see The Flash to know how god awful it just was. More people are & should branch out beyond the major mainstream names. Not that the big dogs aren't ever gonna make great films in the coming years, but we should appreciate more than the big budget features you can tell are playing it safe. Time can be patient for great cinema, sleeper hits or not, so take advantage while you're young.

[littlemisstfc]

We All Owe Jake Foushee An Apology: Why I Don't Like VA Fanbases

Hello, Hola, こんにちは。

Welcome back to this side of the Hundred Acre Woods and I wanna ruin lunch today. You can thank Harriyanna Hook for that last bit akskskskksks. 

If you know me by now, you know that I have the utmost respect for voice actors, especially those who embrace their roles in various Transformers media. They were the voices of our childhoods for a reason, and they deserve much better from the film and tv industry. I don’t have the generous feeling towards their hardcore stans. 

Unfortunately, like everyone who has achieved a level of fame and success, their fanbases has a mix of good, sane fans and fans that make Misery look like a Disney movie. For some reason, when it comes to voice actors and Transformers, a good chunk of the fanbase has an overzealous mentality of, “there could only be ONE voice actor for one character.” If you know where this is going, you are correct. I am calling out the Peter Cullen stans today. 

3, 2, 1, Pingu.

Bad Voice Direction Was The Problem, Not The Voice Actor

Before y’all ask, no, nothing happened to either Peter or the subject of today’s blog post today. This is just something I have been thinking about for a while now.

Do not get me wrong: Peter Cullen is a very kind and caring man who deserves all the accolades and praise for his work in Transformers for the past 39 years. Having met him in person earlier this year felt like meeting Santa Claus. He was genuinely that amazing. However…his fanbase is something else. The best comparison I could think of at the top of my head is the Beyhive, aka Beyonce’s fanbase. Like, at the same time, I’ve seen the best and very worst of this fanbase. The good is that I have made friends and acquaintances that share the same appreciation and adoration I have for PeePaw. The bad is that I have seen people who legitimately worship the ground this man stands on and will do anything to maintain him as the one and only Optimus Prime. Like, within a couple of new years, every time there’s a new Transformers show, take a good guess which part of the fandom shows up the most in the comments section, specifically when there’s an Optimus Prime.

“That’s not Peter Cullen, wtf.”

“I want Peter Cullen as this Optimus.”

“This new Optimus’ voice sucks, I want Peter Cullen back.”

These are the best summaries I can come up with when it comes to how y’all react whenever there is a new voice actor for Optimus Prime. Y’all did it with David Kaye when Animated came around, y’all did it with Alan Tudyk when Earthspark came around, but these pale in comparisons to truly the most crazy, awful moment when shit hits the fan: Jake Foushee, when Cybeverse and the WFC Trilogy came around.

For those who do not know who Jake Foushee is, he was the voice actor of Optimus Prime in Transformers Cyberverse and the War for Cybertron Trilogy. Before he was casted, he gained a fanbase due to his Optimus Prime impression and work as a Vine creator. In fact, it was an interview on the Ellen show that got him casted as Prime in the first place. The only off thing about his casting is that John Hasbro didn’t want to hire union voice actors for these two Transformers shows. Like…they damn well have the money to pay their voice actors, that’s something I’ll still hold John Hasbro accountable for to this day. Anyways, back to the main topic. I remember back when Cyberverse and the WFC Trilogy were airing, I see a surprising amount of people who harbor extreme reactions towards Jake Tillman’s voice acting as Optimus in these shows. 

“The voice actor sucks as Optimus.”

“Ewww, wtf. This is just a bad impersonation.”

“Why won’t Hasbro bring back the REAL voice of Optimus Prime?”

Again, these are simply paraphrases of genuinely nasty ass comments about Jake that basically screams They Changed It, Now It Sucks. Notice that last paraphrase here. What does this remind you of? I’ll give you three seconds.

If you guess correctly, you are correct. A good chunk of the hate towards this voice actor is from the hardcore Peter Cullen purists, aka the #BringBackPeterCullen crowd. Like…did y’all forget the basic value of, “if you can’t say something nice, then don’t say anything at all”? It’s not that fucking hard to say gross shit like this, like you’d be surprised at how many people often forget that these voice actors are real people. They’re real people who will read your hate comments, who will be hurt by your hate comments, and who will be discouraged from doing what they love because of your hate comments. When it comes to moments like this, it seems like y’all forgot the elephant in the room: the voice direction and script.

Cyberverse and the WFC Trilogy are a great way to show how much potential Jake Foushe has and how it will go wrong if it’s in the hands of a bad voice director and script. Cyberverse showed how utterly phenomenal Jake is as Optimus. In the first season, yeah, it was a bit rough around the edges. However, as the show goes on, he was given the direction to be himself rather than be a hardcore impression. His voice as Optimus has improved and it felt natural by the time we get to, “The Perfect Decepticon.” Compare his vocal performance in the third episode of Season One and the finale. It’s like day and night in the best ways.

However…then there’s the WFC Trilogy. For some reason, the voice direction and script set out to undermine Jake Foushee and the other voice actors of these shows as much as they can. As a result, it became the impression that y’all were quick to condemn Jake for. It felt like whoever was in charge of the voice acting for these three shows did not care about the implications of what they were doing with the voice direction. As a result, the nasty ass comments came and it eventually boiled to a point where after these shows ended, he doesn’t bring up his roles in them. I don’t blame him if it has something to do with the huge fan backlash to his casting as Optimus Prime.

Think Before You Speak: Fandom Brain Rot is A Curse

At this point, y’all just need to give up the whole #BringBackPeterCullen thing. It’s fine to feel upset over John Hasbro not giving him the respect he deserves around the hiring non union era. It’s fine to feel upset over John Hasbro not even bothering to ask him if he would like to come back as Optimus. However, it does not give you the excuse to be a shitty person towards whoever’s voicing Optimus in a new Transformers show. Sometimes, a new voice actor is necessary depending on the characterization and age a show is going with Optimus. Don’t worry about Peter. He still got the movies under his belt and there will be another show with him soon. I guarantee it. There’s no way that John Hasbro is gonna miss out on bringing him back.

In the meantime, we need to be better when it comes to whoever will be the next Optimus Prime. A part of the reason why I dreaded the announcement of the voice cast for Transformers: One is because of fans like these ones. Like, some of y'all forgot how to be decent human beings when your fav is not voiced by your fav voice actor. It has gotten to the point of being genuinely irritating. 

You may be asking what is the point of this entire blog post. The point is that time and time again, we have forgotten that voice actors are human beings too. This type of fan dumb needs to stop. Y’all did it before and y’all are doing it now with annoying shit like change.org petitions and angry fan letters. At this point, Imma about to say this:

We all owe Jake Foushee an apology big time.

Even if you don’t like his voice acting, you have to at least see something with the points I’ve made here. It will continue to rinse and repeat unless we put our feet down and stop it. We need to be more welcoming and encouraging to new talent who have big shoes to fill in. Having respect and adoration towards the veterans of Transformers while also respecting and being open to new talent who have the potential to co-exist. These are not two mutually exclusive things.

We all owe Jake Foushee an apology. 

Till All Are One: A Lesson To Be Learned

As Cyberverse Week is coming in a few days, I need to make my point very clear as one of the biggest Cyberverse fans out here. Sometimes, the new may be just as good as the old. I always have the hope of seeing Jake one day at a convention such as TFCon, especially since he voiced my second favorite Optimus ever. 

I'm glad that more people are starting to realize that the backlash against whoever voices Optimus Prime in a new show is just plain dumb. Imagine my relief when I Tweeted a bit about this topic the other way on Twitter and saw a lot of people agreeing with how awful the backlash against Jake Foushee is.

We need to do better as a fandom. It starts with unpacking our biases and be open to change. Transformers is a franchise that revolves around robotical organisms that change, yet ironically the fandom doesn't like change.

Still, I won't let that affect my perception of voice actors in the franchise. I encourage you all to not send any hate messages to any voice actor and be open to change. I may not change everyone's minds, but I hope it gave you all something to think about.

Anyways, Pingu.

[sunsetsandsunshine]

INSIDE OUT 2 SPOILERS

Just came back from watching Inside Out 2…and uhmmmm I’m feeling EMOTIONS.

First off, so so so SO GLAD they didn’t fuck up these characters like Disney’s been doing for the past year. Love you Pixar you were always my favorite 🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾

Adore Joy. My GOSH I love her sm you don’t understaaannndddd she’s so me. And while we were watching my BFF said she was like Pearl from Steven Universe aND I CANNOT GET THAT OUT OF MY HEAD. Joy will always be my fave…

Live laugh love Disgust 👏🏾💚. Absolute goddess. They did a good job re-casting her. AND THE BONNET??? I SAID BLACK QUEENS FOREVER ✊🏾✊🏾✊🏾💚💚💚—

ANGER BROOOO. I love him sm more in this movie. Idk what it was— I feel like they gave him more depth and dialogue. The whole “making Joy angry so she could yell her pent up emotions” was just UGHHHHH ❤️❤️‍🔥❤️❤️‍🔥❤️❤️‍🔥❤️❤️‍🔥❤️❤️‍🔥!!!

I wasn’t a huge Sadness fan growing up but I feel this movie made me like her more. And the whole friendship/alliance with Embarrassment was super super cute 💙🩷.

I’m just gonna out-right say it but I hate Anxiety. I HATE HER. The voice actor I adore but the character??? Nuh uh. “She doesn’t need you guys anymore 🥺…” SHUT UR ASS UP YOUVE BEEN AN EXISTING EMOTION FOR LIKE 30 SECONDS. Plus no one disses Joy and genuinely hurts her and will expect me to like them as a character. NO ONE.

Bro and I hated how RELATBLE RILEY WAS AT 13 JUST UGHGHHGHFHHDHDDJ. Me and my BFF had to cover our faces at almost EVERY. SCENE. RILEY. WAS. IN. LIKE GIRL STOP REMINDING ME OF MIDDLE SCHOOL SELF PLZZZZZZZZ.

Overral? 10/10 movie. The visuals were so amazing and it makes me want to be an animator even MORE. I totally reccomend to everyone if you haven’t seen it 🥹🫶🏾. Def re-watching with my friends and family when it is available on TV’s.

[lampmanliveblogs]

Eeeeeeeeewwwww!

I know I compared… whatever this is with mold before, but jeez, this really is starting to look like some nasty fungi. I’m pretty sure I saw a rotten tree stump that looked something like that once.

Also, uh… please tell me Raine was able to make it out of the castle before it was completely overrun by… Philip… phungi? Philip Phungi, that’’s what I’m calling it now.

Please tell me Raine was bale to make it out of the castle before it was completely overrun by Philip Phungi.

HOLY SHIT!!!

HE TURNED INTO GODZILLA!?!?!?!?!????

GODZILLA WITH WINGS!?!????!!???

How could this possible get any wors-

IT GOT SO MUCH WOOOOOOORRRSSSSSEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!

we’re not even halfway through the epsiode

Also, I was gonna make some kind of joke about this giant kaiju using a word like ”perdition,” but then I realized I didn’t know what it meant, so I looked it up. To quote: ”(in Christian theology) a state of eternal punishment and damnation into which a sinful and unrepentant person passes after death.”

Interesting.

I mean, can you imagine an animated feature from Disney discussing religion and how some people use it for evil? Because I sure can’t, not wholesome family-friendly Disney, that wouldn’t fit their brand at all! Anyways, on an unrelated note, once I’m done with this episode, I’ve been thinking of liveblogging a movie for a change. I’m thinking of doing a classic Disney movie I’ve never seen before called ”The Hunchback of Note Dame.” Whaddya guys, is it a good idea?

The Collector stepped in the thing Raine dropped before. Is it… is that…?

Oh wait! That’s one of Raine’s what’sitcalled… is it still called an earring if it’s not actually a ring? But yeah, that’s totally what it is, I went back and checked. Raine’s earring got knocked off during the scuffle at the bridge.

Now, I watched a few seconds further and saw The Collector fly off to challenge the monster on their own. Going back to get this screenshot and looking at their face… is that guilt, Collector?

Luz wonders how Belos got here without a body, then The Collector steps on and finds Raine’s earring… and suddenly The Collector knows very well how Belos got here. Because Philip tricked him again.

The Collector once again let themselves get mislead by Philip’s lies, his smart and charismatic personality, tricked and bamboozled, made the fool and unwitting pawn of an itty bitty little spider who thinks himself a hero.

But it gets even worse than that. Because who reminded Philip of the Titan’s heart still beating in the castle? And who was it that told Philip of the only way to get rid of not just the witches he despise so much, but the only person who could possibly stand in his way?

This is all so many words to say that The Collector messed up, and they know it.

(Future Lampman here: I was skimming through my liveblog of For the Future, and wouldnä’t you know it. I ask the exact same ”is it still called an earring if it’s not actually a ring” question in that as well. This is what happens when, like an absolute failure, you go several months between liveblogs.)

Not gonna lie, this made me laugh.

Collector: ”I get it now. You just need kindness and forgiveness, huh?”

After all that build up, with that crazy music, and then we get this. Brilliant bait and switch.

Cue The Collector getting blasted with the one type of magic that can actually harm him in three, two, one…

[katblu42]

Disney Princess Gordon

For TagMiniBang2023 @tagminibang and isnpired by wonderful art by @tippystreasurebox @godsliltippy Thanks @gumnut-logic for the read through!!

Main inspiration is this wonderful art.

It all started with that awesome painting Virgil did of Gordon sitting on the seabed, feeding the little fish that surrounded him. Gordon’s eyes had lit up the moment Virgil had revealed it to him, drinking in all the little details.  The colours, the beams of light, the bubbles, the illusion of movement in a still image, and the absolute joy of the moment all captured with brushstrokes.

“It’s amazing, Virg!”  Gordon had exclaimed in wonder, wrapping his big brother in one of his most clingy squid hugs to show his gratitude.  “Thanks!”

Then the discussion had begun with the entrance of his eldest and youngest brothers.

“Ooh, hey, cool painting.” Alan’s eyes wandered the expanse of canvas, trying to take it all in.

“Is this what you’ve been working on all this past week or so?”

Virgil nodded, and Gordon could see that little flicker of self-conscious doubt creep into his expression.  It was something that they all had, but it was only noticeable if you knew to look for it – that little niggling need for big brother approval.  The delighted pride that had sparkled in those deep brown eyes just moments ago faded momentarily until Scott’s hand landed on Virgil’s shoulder, and that famous dimpled smile spread across the eldest’s face as he studied the artwork.

“It’s fantastic, Virgil.  Really captures a moment that is so very Gordon.  I feel like I’m there with him.”

And the sparkle was back, the shoulders a little straighter, self-doubt chased away with a few words.

“Kinda reminds me of something, though.”  Alan stood with his head slightly tilted to one side, one hand reaching up to scratch absently at the back of his neck as he regarded the canvas.

He paused so long in silence the others had all begun picking out little details they liked, naming the types of fish, remarking on the colours and shading, then –

“He looks like a Disney princess!” Alan finally blurted out.

And suddenly they had all seen it.  The similarity to Snow White or Sleeping Beauty surrounded by woodland creatures, or Cinderella with the birds and mice. That was when John had joined the conversation by helpfully providing examples from the internet, holoprojected for comparison.

At the time Gordon had laughed along with his brothers.  After all, it was just harmless, good-natured fun, and it did kind of look a little like some of those old, animated movie scenes. 

“Are you suggesting Virgil should have given me a mermaid tail like Ariel?” he’d said with a laugh when images from the Little Mermaid were called up.

“Nah,” Scott had countered.  “You’re not a mermaid who wishes she could live on land, you’re a human who wishes he could live underwater.”

“Oh, yeah,” Alan chimed in.  “Like a reverse Little Mermaid.”

There had been more laughter, but little else said about it and they had all drifted away to other tasks soon after that.  Gordon had quickly put it out of his mind. Which is why it surprised him to now find himself startled awake by a rather vivid nightmare.  The dream had apparently made him restless enough to fall out of bed.  Head first.

[More inspirational art]

It took a moment for him to mentally orientate before he could physically right himself into a sitting position.  Heart still pounding, head beginning to throb and a brain full of images of a gigantic, tentacled monster with an evil grin and yellow glowing eyes who wanted too high a price in exchange for the ability to live underwater permanently.

[And another]

The dream itself was fading, but the fear of ending up “sleeping with the fishes” instead of living amongst them still gripped him tightly.

Gordon was sure Lady Penelope had been a part of his dream, and that somehow the deal he was making with KrakenHood involved leaving his brothers to be with her.  He almost called her to discuss his weird bad dream with her, wondering if she could help him makes sense of what it was all about and where it had sprung from.  Then he remembered the painting and the ensuing discussion the afternoon before.

He thought it seemed an odd thing to have sparked a nightmare like that.  And while he tried to put it all out of his mind as he climbed back into bed and tried to get back to sleep, that proved easier said than done.

The whole Disney princess discussion was replaying itself in his mind.  Over and over.  Snow White.  Sleeping Beauty. Cinderella. The Little Mermaid.  They’d all been mentioned and Gordon had laughed along with his brothers at the comparisons.  He hadn’t been bothered by it.  Or had he?

Something wasn’t sitting right with him, but he couldn’t put a finger on what exactly.  So, despite trying to put the whole thing out of his mind, he ended up spending another couple of sleepless hours tossing and turning.

When the glow of pre-dawn light summoned the dawn chorus the next morning Gordon roused himself and made his way down to the pool.  He stood in the shadows watching the sunrise paint the sky and barely registered Scott taking off for his morning run.  There was no greeting, so Gordon figured Scott hadn’t seen him.

His morning laps were lazier than normal – a contrast to an unrested and still churning mind.  He’d completed a little over half the normal number of laps by the time Scott returned and tossed a “Morning Fish!” in his direction.

Gordon returned the greeting with his normal chirpiness.  Or so he thought.

By the time Gordon had climbed out of the pool, made a half-hearted attempt at towelling off and headed into the kitchen, Scott was waiting for him at the kitchen table.  The waiting wasn’t particularly unusual, but the fact he was seated definitely was.  A glass of Gordon’s favourite breakfast juice was slid across the table, indicating a summons to sit.

“What’s up, Squid?”

Okay, so maybe his big brother was more observant than he’d like to admit right now.  It wasn’t going to stop Gordon from deflecting.

“The usual.  What’s up with you?”

An eyebrow was raised in response.

Gordon took a long sip of his drink in an effort to say nothing more until Scott spoke again.  This would not have worked with Virgil – he knew how to wait until you couldn’t stand it anymore and had to risk incriminating yourself by filling the horrible expanse of silence.  John was almost as bad but was more likely to use unavoidable questions rather than complete silence. But Scott didn’t have that level of patience, and Gordon knew he wouldn’t stay quiet for long.

“Really?” Right on cue.  Less than 30 seconds.  “You’re going to avoid the question and pretend I can’t see the dark circles under your eyes?  Next I suppose you’re going to tell me I imagined the fact that you were out by the pool earlier than normal, but too distracted to set your normal lap count and timer?”

Damn!  Gordon’s gaze fell to the table and his finger trailed through the little ring of water left by the condensation from his glass.

There was an implication that John might have had a word to Scott, a little heads-up that Gordon’s routine was a little off today.  Deep down Gordon knew that Scott probably didn’t need the tip-off, though.

“I’m fine, Scott.” He knew his slumped shoulders said otherwise.  “Just a bit distracted, like you said.”

“Something on your mind?”

“It’s nothing, really.”

Gordon didn’t need to look up from his condensation finger painting to know that piercing blue eyes were intently studying him.

“Distractions that cause a sleepless night can hardly be considered nothing.”  Scott’s hand reached across to Gordon’s, stilling the fidgeting.

Gordon heaved a sigh and raised his gaze to meet his brother’s.  “I had a really weird dream and it got me thinking.  That’s all.”

“Oh?”

How one tiny word could convey so much Gordon would never know, but that single uttered syllable actually translated to “Go on, I’m listening.  Spill your guts, Gordon.  I won’t judge you, I’m here for you and I’m not gonna let up until you talk to me, so you might as well just get it over with.”  Or words to that effect.

He wondered if it was a big brother thing.  John and Virgil could do it too.  That and the eyebrow thing.  They could all interrogate you using just their eyebrows.

Gordon resigned himself to his fate and sat up a little straighter, steeling himself for an awkward conversation.

“I dreamed I was in some kind of Little Mermaid AU, or whatever.  Like Alan said yesterday.”

There was a moment of silence.

“Gordon, if anything we said yesterday bothered you –“

“No!  It didn’t, I swear.” Gordon held a hand up in a Rescue Scout salute, then let it drop. “At least, I didn’t think it did at the time, but . . .”

The bright-eyed rush to reassure Scott that no offence had been taken ebbed away with a shrug and another sigh.

“I don’t really know what’s bugging me about it.”

“The painting?”

“No, I love the painting! It’s awesome.  Virgil did such an amazing job with it.  It looks kind of like I feel when I’m down there with the fish, you know?”

Scott’s crooked smile in reply suggested that he did, at least in some way know what Gordon was trying to say.

“He’ll be glad to hear that.  So, was it the way we compared you to a princess?”

“No . . .?” the uncertainty etched itself into Gordon’s frown.  “Not really.  Not if you mean misgendering, because I didn’t take it that way.  None of that matters to me.”  A wicked grin formed, and an eyebrow quirked upward.  “Besides, I’m not the only Tracy boy who’s dressed up as a princess on occasion!”

Scott’s own smile broke containment and became a chuckle.

“I think . . .” realisation dawning, the thoughts barely formed before Gordon spoke the words, “maybe it’s more about the specific princesses that were mentioned.”

“What about them?”

“They don’t fit me,” the words came faster now, the thought more fully formed.  “I mean, I’m not them. Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella.  I don’t fit those stories.  Not even the Little Mermaid.”

“Gordon –“

“Maybe that’s what the dream was?  My mind trying to fit me into Ariel’s story or something, and realising that’s just not the right Disney Princess for me to identify with.”

“You don’t have to identify with a Disney Princess.”  Scott’s brow furrowed before the confusion gave way to a frustrated eye-roll and a facepalm rolled into one.  “Why would you even put this much thought into it?

Gordon shrugged again, but this time the action was full of his regular jauntiness and accompanied by his trademark mischievous grin.  He no longer felt weighed down by his thoughts, knowing he was onto something.

“I dunno.  I kind of like the comparison, I guess.  I’ve just gotta find the right . . .“ Gordon’s eyes widened, lit with a fire of inspiration that had Scott’s Gordon’s-bright-ideas alarm bells ringing for a moment.

The two were so engrossed in the discussion, Virgil’s quiet entry into the room went unnoticed.  He paused in his journey toward the coffee pot, appearing to attempt to process what he was witnessing.

“So, which princess are you then?”

Gordon stood, striking a dramatic pose as he proudly sang “I am Moana!”

~~~

That evening, sitting alone in his room going over some recent statistics on the population and general health of various marine species he’d been helping to monitor, a piece of paper was quietly slipped under his door.

Wandering over and picking it up he immediately recognised it as a page from one of Virgil’s sketch books, and the image depicted on it had his face splitting into a wide grin.

[One more!]

I hope this little fic does the wonderful art justice.

I did want to add a little more - Gordon's lists of similarities and differences to each princess mentioned - but time got away from me, and I think the story flows okay without those. But if anyone's curious . . . let me know! :)

[wishingstarinajar]

what is your favorite Disney/pixar movie?

Oooh, good question and a tough one too. Let's see...

My favorite Disney movie has to be The Lion King, with Hercules and Mary Poppins being close runner-ups.

I was one of those die-hard Lion King fans when it came out. I had to rewatch it almost every day after school and collect everything I could get my mittens on. But I was a poor young teen living on a very small allowance so I had to do with magazine cutouts and crudely drawn (and traced over) art. I could quote it all from start to finish.

Nowadays, the movie isn't really on my mind anymore and I haven't seen it in a long time, but it still holds a special place in my heart.

Also, The Lion King 2 and 1½ are good too! The live-action version can die in a ditch somewhere...

Then there's Hercules, a funny and well-animated movie that felt different from all its predecessors with the type of comedy and parody it possessed... at least to me. I also love how Hercules was stylized with its animation and designs. I had a weak spot for mythical stuff back then (Egyptian and Greek gods) then so that movie just hit right, no matter inaccurate.

Also Hades. Bada-bing bada-boom.

Mary Poppins is on my list because it was the only live-action Disney movie that I really enjoyed as a kid. There were others but I think Mary Poppins (that beautiful woman who made me wish I was just as pretty as her and possessed magic) tickled the "going to another world for adventure" trope that I love so much since childhood. It helped that one of these little adventures was animated.

I wanted to be like Mary Poppins when I'd grown up; kind, helpful, stern and honest in the kindest way, and pretty. I can't say I managed xD but I still love young me for dreaming of it.

When it comes to Pixar, I love Turning Red. Yep, I do. I love the animation, color palettes, and the 90's/early 2000 (anime) aesthetics because I was an early teen during that time and well, the Turning Red setting resonates with that. I was never into boybands but my lady friends and classmates were and I recognize so much of that "early teen fan girl" behavior shown in the movie (especially before the internet was even a thing). Yeah, I remember your walls and ceiling completely filled with cutouts of various boyband members, Jeffica! And when you ran out of space, you used the inside of your closet. Now that's commitment! <3

The message Turning Red tries to convey didn't hit me in the personal(!) feels until certain things that were said towards the ending reminded me of past family matters and had me bawling.

What is y'all's favorite Disney/Pixar movie? Let me know in the tags or replies!

[marciabrady]

hi, i'm the disney choruses anon - thank you for answering me! imo all the choral endings are lovely in their own way, i.e. the tune of the b&b ending was beautiful and i loved that it featured gorgeous stained glass art of belle and adam which was a great callback to the wonderful opening, and of course the sleeping beauty chorus is iconic - it even got the chance to briefly shine during once upon a dream so when we hear it again, it's like we're greeting an old friend (plus the super endearing blue vs. pink dress switching during aurora and philip's dance!!). also as i mentioned the tlm chorus is beautiful in its ending too with ariel and triton finally reconciled, and all the merpeople celebrating this new alliance between their bright-eyed princess and this brave prince who put his life on the line to defeat ursula...

personally i'm especially biased toward the bambi ending bc the shot of our protagonist striking a lone, majestic figure, having at last lived up to his destiny as king of the forest, always spoke to me considering how we'd seen him grow up from such a delicate creature as a baby (who could barely even stand on his own!) and enduring so much hardship, to the strong, dignified adult he'd become :]

and most of all the cinderella ending was always my #1 favorite, not just bc cinderella was my fav princess and movie but also bc i was so moved as a little kid seeing this sincere, dignified, steadfast girl who'd been ostracized and isolated by her remaining family for most of her life until then, finally being celebrated by not just the connections she made (i.e. her animal friends and the royal family) but by the very narrative itself. as a kid it seemed almost as if divine or supernatural forces were cheering for her all along from the sidelines (as the fairy godmother's appearance in the story confirmed) and now they finally can show themselves without holding back by singing her praises... does that make sense?? anyway i really think the 2D animated films from disney before the mid-00s were truly works of art and products of much love and care that we might not ever see again, thanks for taking the time to read all this lol!!

I love that you brought up Bambi- one of my favorite songs of all time is in that film property and I think the soundtrack is criminally underrated. All of the Disney Greats- Mary Costa included, of course- performed at the Hollywood Bowl in the early 2000s to sing music from Bambi and they even all began to belt When You Wish Upon a Star together at the end of it. I hope against hope that they'll use it for Once Upon a Studio, but I know they're definitely using a new recording featuring a majority of the voice replacements but...I can dream lol

The way you write about the Cinderella ending is so beautiful and you really get it 🥲 the divine and supernatural line reminds me of how you mentioned the chorus singing Once Upon a Dream being like an old friend. The chorus also sings a reprise of A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes where Cinderella is literally responding to the voices and shutting them down, not abiding by the message anymore. It really does feel like a connection and a way that they're gently nudging her to continue going onward- only, since this is her low point, she needs a little more comfort- which materializes in the Fairy Godmother stroking her hair. I just love how you expressed them being her guardian angels, essentially, and the undertones of their presence in her life before it fully materialized. It brings so many beautiful images and feelings to my mind...in a world where people are too easy to dismiss their actions on external factors, I think it's so touching that Cinderella literally has no one there for her, no good influence or person to help her or show her love, and that's still not an excuse, she proactively rises above her surroundings- she continues to be the best person she possibly can be, even when it feels like she'll never "get anything back" from the universe. The fact that she got her Happily Ever After, in the face of every possible adversity, should renew everyone with hope and makes me feel like not all is lost, even with the things I get frustrated in. Again, thank you so much for telling me how you feel- it's the most beautiful writing I've read in a while💗

[kylesvariouslistsandstuff]

Little Things I Dig About STRANGE WORLD

Much like the one I did for PUSS IN BOOTS: THE LAST WISH, this post will be a list of unorganized thoughts on STRANGE WORLD. And as usual, if you haven't seen STRANGE WORLD and were planning on doing so but haven't really had the chance nor gumption to fire up Disney+ and watch it, there be spoilers ahead!

'They're The Clades'. This is a hit the ground running opening right here. An all-too-brief cel-shaded depiction of Jaeger Clade's adventures and exploits, and how his son Searcher was by his side but was never really the rough-and-tumble explorer type. The song would do the Mello Men proud, as it recalls the songs of various live-action adventure movies that Disney had made throughout the '50s. This whole movie, if it wasn't clear before, is a massive homage to that era of adventure stories. The scene alone is evoking an early-to-mid 20th century pulp comic. Also during this sequence, we see these really lovely paintings of the Clades on their adventures. Particularly the visuals of them encountering birds of prey and a bear. It hits all those classic wilderness aesthetics in mere seconds flat.

Avalonia itself is actually quite a cool-looking world. It being on the back of a giant turtle-like beast swimming around on an all-water planet is very much Terry Pratchett's DISCWORLD, but being someone who lived the early 2000s as a kid, it also struck me as very BIONICLE. Hey, did you know Walt Disney Animation Studios was looking to option DISCWORLD for an adaptation of MORT? That was to be Ron Clements and John Musker's movie after THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG, but due to rights issues, that fell through, and they ended up pitching other ideas that would later morph into MOANA.

Continued, Avalonia in the post-Pando era: The retrofuture setting, the sortakinda steampunk-like aesthetic, very TREASURE PLANET in some ways. The graphic design recalled various decades of aesthetics of the 20th century, too. Some '30s and '50s touches on Callisto Mal's ship, the Venture, subtle and neat stuff. Loved the architecture, technology, and cruisers. The cruisers, especially the one the Clade family uses to dust the crops, in particular reminded me of the hovercraft vehicles in the JAK & DAXTER series. That was another action-adventure franchise from the early 2000s that I was very much big on back in the day (and still am!).

Legend. Just Legend. He's literally one of my dogs, but in Disney animated form. Plus he's a tripod. Disabled rep, even for a doggie! It was also nice to see a shot of a disabled Avalonian, too.

Primal Outpost reminds me of game called Heroscape, which I remember being advertised a lot circa 2004... Though my 12-year-old self never played it or got invested in it, I thought it always looked cool. The hexagon pieces and such... But yes, I liked that a role-playing/strategy game played a part in this world, it just added a depth to it: This is a game that the kids/teens play. Today I learned that Heroscape ran from 2004 to 2010, and there was a failed revival somewhere down the line. I kinda wish STRANGE WORLD came out in 2004, this would've been my *shit*. Big time.

The lighting choices are what really make the "strange world" pop. The subtle sunset-like oranges and pinks, the misty-like layers, really brings out a lovely look to everything.

There's a particular shot when the Venture is crash-landing while careening into the insides of the Avalonia turtle-beast-creature... Searcher and Legend drop off as the ship is still speeding, it's a particularly well-done shot.

What little there is of the vibe - both good and bad - between Callisto Mal and Meridian Clade, particularly when it shows up during their confrontation in the Venture cockpit.

Right before Ethan meets Splat in that cave of bioluminescent creatures, some of them are apparent in a few frames: They look kind of like glass vases with fireflies inside of them. A small but cool detail, and the framerate on them is much slower.

Splat slapping Ethan when you think they're going to do the HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON-esque connect-with-each-other moment, a well-timed send-up of those kinds of person-and-creature scenes.

The Clade men playing Primal Outpost is a standout scene to me, and I absolutely love the jab at the well-repeated "criticism" that Disney animated movies don't work without traditional bad guy villains in them.

How Searcher and Jaeger can't get the handshake/gestures right, they're preemptively doing a different one. It's a fun little character beat for both of them.

Everything about the much healthier insides of the beast after the heart is restored. A colorful, near-psychedelic set of images.

[cartoonygothopossum]

Inside Out 2

Today marked the second time I went to the movie theater, since my move to New York state. Before any trailers for the movie came out, I thought that the five main emotions would've been enough to express a person's personality. So, it was a bit of a surprise when I saw in one of the trailers that there would be new personified emotions introduced. Design-wise, the emotion Anxiety looks typical of something you would find in a puppet show or in a work with cartoony monster characters. Envy and Embarrassment had clever designs, being noticeably tiny and large, respectively. Ennui's design kinda reminded me of Fear's, but looked more human-like. I also liked her deep, accented voice. The first movie never failed to make me tear up, so I was curious as to whether this one would too. Spoiler alert: I did tear up.

It was cool how Riley's sense of self was depicted as a tree-like structure, with the roots formed by important memories, and how her consciousness was depicted as a river with the objects that she thinks of floating in it. Instead of being thrown into the memory dump, it was interesting that unpleasant memories were transported to the very back of the mind. Who knew that Riley still enjoyed a preschool cartoon, had a crush on a video game character who could roll himself into a ball, and... burned a hole in her family's rug? I did not expect that the movie would combine different animation styles during the scenes with the secrets, but I still liked it. Jordan, that boy whom Riley met at the end of the first movie, didn't appear much, but seeing his face in the statue of crushes suggested that Riley did have a crush on him.

It was interesting how this movie put more focus on Riley's interest in hockey. Riley's friends Grace and Bree were nice girls. Though she initially hesitated, it was sweet of Riley to help out Grace when the latter dropped her coins in class. The racial diversity among the three was also a plus. Val was a cool girl, but still nice, kinda like Shank from Ralph Breaks the Internet. While I could understand why Riley wanted to hang out with Val, I felt bad for Grace and Bree. Things could've ended quite bitterly between Riley and Grace and Bree. But thankfully, the latter two forgave Riley at the end and maintained their friendship with her.

While it was good that Riley was more open about her sadness, I did not like how Anxiety took over her mind, to the point of kicking out the original five emotions. As I had suspected, Anxiety was like Fear, but cranked up! I think I read somewhere that Anxiety had evil plans, suggesting that she would be the main antagonist of the movie. Anxiety's actions did hurt Riley, but that made sense, considering how severely the emotion can consume your mind. After the original five emotions' difficult journey to return to headquarters, I was relieved when Joy finally managed to get Anxiety to let go of control. Though the new sense of self was partially formed by some of Riley's unpleasant memories, it was arguably even better than the old sense of self. All of us go through changes at some point in our lives, and I can safely assume that most of us have moments that contradict our core personality traits. The way Joy had Anxiety relax on the chair and think about things that Riley can control looked like a sort of therapy session for the orange emotion. I can imagine that Riley's parents, or even her friends, might have given similar advice to Riley.

So, yeah, I definitely enjoyed the movie. I look forward to re-watching it when it comes out on Disney+.

[fluffy-lovely-clouds]

well

I guess it's time I get this started

So here's the thing, I am a classic disney fan through and through. I am a lover of disney in general but those older classic movies hold a special place in my heart, hey I mean it's what me and many others have grown up on right?

The thing is, the community for the classic disney movies, such as 90s ones like Aladdin or Toy Story and yada yada just isn't as big as the modern community is.

Anddd, for some reason they seem to be the most prone to fetish content. Now I'm not a kink-shamer, but I still don't want to interact with that side of things cause I'm not like that, a lot of us get that right? Right.

Well, that's ALL I ever really see of these movies and it's sad, and disgusting when the characters are specifically kids or animals. I can't stand going on Deviantart for this very reason because it's full of content like that and the site doesn't do much to prevent it like at all.

It's gotten to where the fandom is almost nothing BUT content like that and I've finally gotten tired of it

So to hopefully help my mind forget all the... stuff I've seen from Deviantart, and who knows where else, and to just bring back some innocence and fluffy cuteness, I've made a whole lotta fluffy hcs for a whole lotta disney movies! Alright let's start this off

LET'S GOOO

The Lion King

. Simba

~He is such a big cuddler, just a big cuddly boi. It's pretty much canon. I mean how many times does he get nuzzled or hugged throughout the movies. Answer: a LOT

~Of course he is kinda smug sometimes and has a bit of pride & dignity and all that mess so he'll pretend he's too tough for a cuddle

But of course he won't stop you if ya lean in for one anyway

~You can't tell me he and Nala didn't get into tickle fights all the time when they were younger! Reminds me, he is canonically ticklish, ok he gets tickled in the Lion King 1 1/2

Nala always won the tickle fights, much to Simba's embarrassment. He is a big lee (yes I'm using fancy terms from the tk community cause I can't think of any other words lol)

~His spots are his belly, sides, and paws

~ He has a light, hearty laugh

~One thing, you tickle him and he WILL get you back. It doesn't matter if he ends up losing again or not, he just wants to make you smile ... and get revenge

~Somewhat? merciful. Just kidding he would know when to stop

~Idk what to say he's just very affectionate and loving. He is so sweet to his family, always wanting Nala and Kiara to smile

. Nala

~She's a cuddler too, just maybe not as much as Simba. She appreciates a cuddle, but other than with close family and friends, she only personally wants them at certain or rare times

~It's just cause she's a tomboy who would rather wrestle than hug. But like Simba, she wouldn't really stop you from hugging her if you tried to. She may be caught off guard by it though

~As said before, she would always win the tickle fights between her and Simba.

~I just don't see her as being very ticklish herself so that probably helped in winning lol

~Big ler, I swear she would call herself the ultimate tickle monster

Less merciful than Simba but she never goes too far. DO NOT try and get her back though cause it won't work and she will get you back... and it will be a lot less merciful than the first time

~She laughs right along with who ever she's making smile, whether by tickling them or telling them a joke, it doesn't matter how. Seeing others smile makes her smile. She has hearty laugh as well, just it's more feminine than Simba's duh

~As sweet as she is, she'll always be sassy. She could be cuddling Simba while they're looking up at the stars and it's all romantic and then throw off some sassy comment just because she can, though it's just to be funny

. Mufasa

~If you're not sad that he died 20 minutes into the movie then we got a problem. Look at him, he's such a good dad! Biggest cuddler ever. Ok, he would pour hugs and kisses all over Sarabi and Simba in the morning and throughout the day when ever he could. If you asked him for a hug he would be more than glad to give you one

He is too good for the world, .. and apparently Scar thought so too (guys I'm so sorry :''')

~Definately would get into tickle fights with Simba just about every time they spend time together

~Definitely quite ticklish himself. I thought he was canonically ticklish cause of the scene where he and Simba are running through the field and chasing each other. Idk I still count it

~Spot is his sides

~Big switch. He can barely take what he dishes out though

~Very merciful, as soon as "stop" is said he stops. He never wants to go too far or accidentally hurt anyone.

~He has a great big, deep laugh that when heard, makes most others want to laugh along with him

~He may be tough but he is one of the sweetest beings in the entire pridelands

. Scar

~Not much of a cuddler at all. If you asked him for a hug or a cuddle he would probably turn away from you in disgust. Closest thing to physical affection he had in the movie was when he was pretending to comfort Simba after Mufasa's death

~He's always had the same grumpy attitude ever since he was little, though he may have been loosened up a tad more back then

~Doesn't stop him from being ticklish though! As much as he hated it, Mufasa would always drag him into tickle fights when they were younger

~Surprisingly even more ticklish than Mufasa. He would always lose the fights, it not helping that Mufasa was the bigger and stronger of the two. (He is the only one that Mufasa does not show too much mercy to)

~Spots are his ribs and sides

~Big lee and he hates it. He is one for getting revenge though ... just like he's one for getting revenge on other things (I need to stop)

~Barely merciful at all. He won't stop until your on the ground almost passed out from laughter

~His laugh is like this low pitched majestic growl or cackle. That's the best I can explain it

~The hyenas once tackled him one day just to be funny and he lost it, laughing his head off. He waited for over a week before going back to them and of course chewed them off about how he could have swiped his paw once and they'd of all been on the ground dead, y'know if he had WANTED to

~He may be a bad guy but what a funny weakness

. Timon and Pumbaa

~These two love a good cuddle! Timon doesn't let his pride get in the way of getting a good hug from Pumbaa or Simba. Pumbaa definately wants or needs cuddles half the time, especially if he's upset. These two may be outcasts but they're nothing but sweethearts

~Out of the two, Timon may have a bit of an attitude sometimes but he wants nothing but for his family and friends to be happy, though he may be a bit hesitant to admit such mushy stuff

~Yes, they get into tickle fights. Mostly happens when they're fighting or fussing over something, such as bugs. But they'll get into them for fun too. Got into them with Simba a lot more after they took him in

~Both are quite equally ticklish, though Timon squirms around more. Pumbaa just kinda sits there and accepts his fate

~Timon's spots are his underarms and ears, Pumbaa's is his belly

~Both big switches. Will sneak up on their target before attacking. (Like them chasing after the vultures in the movie)

~Pumbaa is more merciful than Timon is but they both know when to stop

~Timon's laugh is a funny slightly high pitched cackle while Pumbaa's laugh is a lot more gruff

~Anyway, they're so silly

. Rafiki

~Y'all, he has probably got one of the biggest hearts throughout the whole movie. Definitely loves a good hug or cuddle, I mean just think of those scenes where he hugs Mufasa and Simba. He is very affectionate with most anybody

It wouldn't matter if he only knew ya for five minutes, he would already have his arm around you and would be telling you about some cool old story or teaching some life lesson

~Um have y'all ever paid attention to the majority of his dialogue? It's mostly crazy, funny, and contagious laughter. Though his family and friends are quite used to his eccentric laughter, someone new he meets will usually end up laughing right along with him the first time they hear him, even if they don't know what they're laughing about lol

~I've always pictured this but I imagine that when he was younger, he and Mufasa were best friends and would just goof around with each other (if you've seen or watched the Lion Guard, they would have a friendship equivalent to Kion and Bunga pretty much)

~Yes, even he gets into tickle fights. Most of 'em happened when he was younger and they were usually between him and a playful cub Mufasa. Even as they both got older though, he would every once in a while get a mischievous poke from the usually serious king when it was just them hanging out

~Quite ticklish and one of the only things that can push past his confident, eccentric attitude and get him flustered

Spots include his ribs and back

~He is a switch but ends up being a lee more than he'd like to be lol. Kinda hard to get the upper hand when your 3 foot tall and your being tickled half to death by a big 500 pound lion *cough cough* Mufasa *coUGh*

~It's who he's tickling that depends whether he's merciful or not.

Mufasa: no

Anyone else: yes

~His laugh, well his laugh is hard to miss in the movies. It's just crazy. Ok, he cackles a lot! It's very flamboyant and contagious in my opinion

~Best crazy monkey ever

.Zazu

~Not much of a hugger or cuddler because he's small and doesn't want to accidentally be crushed when trying to be hugged by a giant lion. Appreciates the thought and consideration of it though

Perching on someone's shoulder is something he considers affectionate though

~He may be snarky at some times, but he is very caring and loyal

~Like Rafiki, I can picture him having a cool relationship with Mufasa when they were younger. He woulda been the nerd of the group lol

Never gets into tickle fights much, again because he's small, but there was once when Simba got him after pouncing on him. He was a flustered mess afterwards.

~Moderately ticklish, like just enough to where he'll laugh a good bit

~Spots include under his wings and his neck

~Again, doesn't get into tickle fights much but when he does he's a switch. Can use his feathers to an advantage but will get flustered if you so much as look at him funny

~Very merciful because he's afraid if he doesn't show it, he won't receive it himself

~His laugh is a bunch of chortle and snorts, that's all I got

~He may seem snarky but I love him

Alright well then, here's the first bit! I intend to update this a lot whenever I do other movies but for now have this if ya want!

[actuallylorelaigilmore]

2023 Movie Journey #10: The Little Mermaid

, 

the little mermaid. okay, so this one was really interesting! i didn’t go into it with high expectations, but i also wasn’t expecting to hate it--i’ve seen very few of the disney live action remakes, so i didn’t really know what i might think at all. (as a matter of fact, i think the only one of the remakes i’ve seen is beauty and the beast? i have a couple others on my watchlist cuz @actuallylukedanes​ recommended them, like tarzan and pete’s dragon, but i haven’t seen aladdin or the lion king and i can’t remember if there are more.)

i did go into this one expecting to have fun whether i actually liked it or not, though, because i saw it in the theater with my family and i have a good time doing that with any movie. and i knew i loved some of the cast--awkwafina, daveed diggs, and melissa mccarthy were all selling points for me. i wasn’t familiar with the actress playing ariel but i knew she could sing, so i looked forward to seeing what she did with the role.

before it actually came out, i was originally worried about melissa mccarthy playing ursula, because i adore her and know she’s super talented, but the whole ‘ursula was modeled after a drag queen’ history of the animated character made her casting surprising to me, for some reason. it made me wonder what angle this version would be going for, with ursula. i didn’t get excited about it until they released a snippet of poor unfortunate souls and i was like ‘ohhhhh. okay she’s really going for it.’ 

after that i think i watched the clip at least twice before even seeing the movie, cuz it made me happy to feel like her interpretation was probably going to be true to my childhood attachment to the original character. honestly, it seems tricky to bring animated characters to life, especially beloved ones, and i’m not sure how a person does it well rather than the much more likely result of screwing it up--but i think a large part of it must be wholeheartedly committing to your ideas and then flinging yourself into it, without concerning yourself with whether or not other people will agree with how you interpreted it. 

and that may not actually create widely beloved interpretations, i wouldn’t really know--i feel like emma stone did the same thing in cruella, and for the same reason, i loved her portrayal. it was off-the-wall insane, but she committed to it, and that movie knew what it wanted to be and it won me over against my expectations. 

back to the little mermaid! i felt like this movie had several big problems, but most of them were the direct result of having live actors play these characters in this story without changing the basics (and changing the basics would make it a different story). the parts of the little mermaid that are abstractly weird/concerning when it was animated in the ‘90s become actively, unavoidably difficult or more creepy once everything is three-dimensional.

first of all, ariel’s scenes once she couldn’t talk were just...rough. the movie tries to give ariel and eric more of a connection, more bonding time and things to bond over, but she just can’t communicate very much with the wide-eyed lack of emoting that was happening until she got her voice back. i honestly don’t know if it was the actress herself, or the result of how she was directed, or if the real problem is that a cartoon face can just be made more expressive to balance a lack of words. but for me and both of the people i saw this movie with, there was just nothing there on her face, to a weird degree, while her voice is taken.

while i know this wasn’t the case for everybody, though, i did like her singing. i liked the moments in classic ariel songs where she made them her own, little vocal flourishes that reminded me of whitney houston playing the fairy godmother in cinderella. (though i was horrified by her addition to under the sea, which was totally unnecessary and cut into an otherwise great take on another classic by daveed diggs.)

his voice acting, along with awkwafina's, was great as well. her new added rap, i would also file under ‘totally unnecessary,’ but whatever, it’s fine, i know they always add stuff now and with lin involved i would’ve been surprised if it wasn’t a rap. this version of flounder made me miss the animated one a lot, because i remember loving him and i felt like in this one he somehow wasn’t nearly as endearing, or lacked personality or something. i’m still not sure why. 

the massive cgi might be part of it, though. i could tell it would be a problem for me as soon as there was a trailer--and i was not wrong. there’s just so much of it. i get that it’s not exactly convenient to, say, make your cast work underwater in tanks or anything...but real fish exist! the ocean exists! i don’t care if it was cheaper to just build the ocean out of pixels; jurassic park is cool because it made an effort with physical effects, and this movie could have looked so much better if they’d tried. even just for the Hey Look Fish scenes.

the other element of this movie that feels a lot worse in a live-action version is the basic love story between ariel and eric. it wasn’t exactly ideal when they were hand-drawn, but we didn’t have to think about it as much. the love at first sight concept is always pretty thin, and it’s no different here--she likes the look of him on his ship, possibly appreciates his willingness to risk his life to save his dog, and is ready to make a deal with ursula on the strength of that. it’s a little more believable for me on eric’s side because even without a voice she has a personality he seems charmed by, during their time together once he’s conscious. but the age gap between them is still gross. 

i had to look it up to learn that officially, they made her eighteen for this version instead of sixteen (and the actress was 21 while filming it). but the movie is vague about eric’s age and makes it possible that he could be as young as 21--only the actor playing him was 26 at the time, and to me he looked it. so despite their efforts to tweak the ages to make them closer together and to age her up, i watched this believing that she was an inexperienced teen and he was a fully adult sailor and that was supposed to be totally fine. romantic, even.

even if i wanted to be in favor of them, the actors really didn’t have any chemistry i could see. i don’t remember feeling the same way watching the animated one, but during this version when her friends are trying to manipulate them...it just seemed fully comedic. like, how ridiculous, and not because it’s a bird and a fish and a crustacean wanting them to kiss--the idea of them kissing at all. if it wasn’t required to save ariel’s soul, it wouldn’t have been clear to me why we should want that.

however, i did also like eric! it felt like in the beginning, they put more time and effort into trying to establish him as a character than i remember from the original. making him figuratively more than two-dimensional, not just literally. and it mostly worked.

his most memorable part for me was not necessarily for good reasons, though? i don’t think i’ll ever forget it, but it definitely undermined whatever success they had in making him a love interest hero worth taking seriously. 

they...gave him a song. and not just any song. this was a song that reminded me so painfully, so specifically, so unavoidably of another song, that i couldn’t unthink it and he immediately seemed ridiculous when he hadn’t before. 

anybody who has seen frozen 2 might remember a little number called ‘lost in the woods.’ it was one of my favorite parts of that movie, because it was very clearly done in the style of ‘80s hair bands, with kristoff overdramatic in his movements and full of emotion and played seriously while not taking itself completely seriously. it struck the perfect tone in what it was aiming for.

but what they do with eric is literally the same sort of thing: overdramatic movements, loudly emoting, Very Serious Despite Looking Silly. the problem is that he’s not an animated character! and he’s not troy bolton from high school musical, either (troy could emote at 1000% like nobody else and get away with it). eric can not get away with it, or at least he doesn’t, and i suspect it’s because the movie gives no indication that there’s a joke we’re supposed to be on. 

as far as i could tell, that scene was just eric’s big power ballad, and they wanted him to have a big power ballad, and whether they modeled it after frozen 2 or not, they clearly thought it was a good thing. i’m not so sure they were right about that. 

i gotta say, the scary parts of this movie were much scarier than i ever found the animated version to be, though they didn’t change the actual story a lot in those scenes so i’m not sure if i was just less affected as a child (which seems unlikely when the dogcatcher from lady and the tramp gave me nightmares). both her father destroying her collection and the final battle with ursula felt more intense than i remembered, and maybe that comes from having the characters played by real people. a Scary Dad is much scarier when he looks like an actual person, merman or not, and the same is true i guess for a sea witch. 

the final battle with ursula was also the worst scene for me when it came to cgi, though. i spent a lot of it not being able to tell what was going on, because eventually that’s what happens--my brain just sees pixels and can’t turn them into whatever they’re supposed to be, and i’m confused until it stops.

but ursula was definitely my favorite part of the movie, in terms of this familiar story going from its animated roots to live action. melissa mccarthy, who is truly so much more talented than her choices in projects always show, took on this role which was iconic when i was a kid. and she somehow approaches it both very sincerely and straightforwardly, giving us the drama and the danger and the snark of the original, while also adding just enough camp. i was genuinely surprised disney let her get away with being so good at it! 

at one point, she pauses during a song just to push up her breasts--and i had a flashback to queen latifah in chicago, throwing her all behind ‘when you’re good to mama,’ and teenage me could not have been more delighted. i know there was no deliberate connection there, but for me, that’s such a random moment of flair and sass in the middle of ursula’s singing and it didn’t have to be there. since they didn’t cast an actual drag queen to play her, i really enjoyed that moment that felt, on its own, even the tiniest bit subversive. melissa mccarthy was alive and loving it, playing this character, and we were blessed.

overall, i wouldn’t say this movie was my favorite new disney movie, or even my favorite live action remake (i don’t think i have one). but it had good elements, and i had a good time watching it--it’s just also fun to critique.

[meraki-yao]

This might be a little random and out of nowhere but amazingphil's new video and a recent job I got as the MC for my university's choir concert reminded me of a first obsession: The Lion King 1994

which was weird as a little kid: other girls were into Disney princesses, the boys weren't into Disney at all, so (much like me with rwrb now lol) irl I was alone in my obsession.

How crazy was I? At age 5 I watched the movie every single day till I could memorize the whole movie's line, to the point where in 2018 when I went to see the musical on the West End, I still could remember them even though I haven't seen the movie in years. I watched and then also memorized the sequel movies (two of the only good disney sequels, the other being Cinderella 3). I memorized the extended lore when I was 6 (until Disney retconned it lol) and told my family the story every day at dinner. I pretended to be a lion in every play pretend game. I drew Simba and Nala all the time, even for Visual Arts homework. I quite literally lived and breathed the movie from 5-7.

It brought a lot of new experiences to baby me too. Vocabulary, for one: is where I learned the words "murderer" and "betrothed". I learned to use YouTube because it was the only place to find the sequels. It's my first full-scale musical theatre show. During a talent show, I danced to "The Lion Sleeps Tonight." I think this movie might be what started my love of performing.

And also, it's really just a masterpiece: everything from the art, to the story, to the voice performance, to the music, still stands as one of animation's best. My parents said this movie was the one that made them realize animated movies can be masterpieces and not just for children. The Disney Renaissance was really a golden age that won't come back, and as someone who was born a decade later yet grew up on those films, I agonize over the drop in the quality of Disney films nowadays. (I'm tempted to jump on the wish rewrite train)

So yeah, this is one of, maybe the most important movies that influenced me most in my life.