#this reads like a c!tommy rp post AHHAHAHHSHSHHSHHS

[khimkito]

im taking a rest for a couple of days, social battery is at zero

venting under cut, there are some verbal abuse, victimblaming and transphobia that come up (i am not sure that my situation counts as these things but better safe than sorry.....) so be careful

i don't need comforting, i just know that there are people who like to listen to others talk about their lives when they say something is wrong, so here is story time!!!!!!! just need to scream somewhere

background: two years ago i was working as a mod in a little game. there was a huge conflict between fractions and i was heavily involved and a Person made an appearance and started escalating the conflict by turning people against me. Person was 21-23 y o, I was 16, almost everyone were minors as well, varying from 14 to 17 we were actively hating each other for a month, afterwards we said "wait..... wait but you're a cool kid i want to be your friend actually" and played minecraft and bonded and through out the talks something about that Person was coming up....... Person was manipulating these minors to send me hate and outright bully.......? its not uh. its not the first time this happened to me (im just that hatable ig) so i just went on living, quickly forgetting

BUT a couple of days ago a girl contacted me because she was writing a huge complaint about that Person to the chief admin and she asked for the dialogues i had about that Person and i found myself incredibly uncomfortable just thinking about what had been happening for those two years and. uh. turned out i repressed A LOT

1) i was not the only victim in a sense that were was another Someone who also had everyone turned against them by Person. and i was scrolling through our messages and there were outsiders sending them evidence of Person just denigrating Someone in a private groupchats and i had to hold Someone's hand through their borderline panic attacks. i was reading the messages yesterday and it was just fucked up i felt incredibly bad and angry

2) Person was . i dont know. Alright maybe the correct term here is Humiliating Misgendering...? There were cis girls who Person knew who went by he/him and Person had no problem with that but when it came to me it went from she/her (which were based on PHOTOS OF ME PERSON WAS KEEPING. I WAS 16.) to it/its (in russian it is even more dehumaniring bc оно is never used to refer to a living thing) which was based on a court writing "he" in a verdict of a serial killer sadistic woman in 1768. i as well believe that my actions of being annoying are comparable to brutal murders of 30+ people!

3) Person actively discusses me in private groupchats TO THIS DAY. it was two years. i made up with everyone who is still around from that initial fraction conflict. in fact, it was one of the bullies who sent me the most recent messages, and a girl writing a complain together with the Leader of the opposing fraction both are my friends and previosly were hostile. Person is the only one of them who keeps spreading hate and actually turned against them too and blames them for things Person coaxed them to do! (it was some calual game rules breaks but still. the moment these guys couldn't be used against me because they befriended me they were thrown under the bus. I Am The Unlimate Minion Stealer. all of your evil minions will be mine through the power of threating them as equals hahahahhahhahhaahaa)

4) they fucking enjoy what they do. they say "yes i am manipulating them (MINORS) lightly" like a cartoon villain who is sharing their evil plan. they gloat about how they like the hate they recieve. but when confronted about using kids they say "well that 15 yo can manupulate any person they want!" (its about Someone) "well that 16 yo is also a manipulator" (its about the Leader). i am sorry but you are 20+ oh wait. you actually said to my face that there are people who are so childrish they can be considered minors even if they are 25, what was that about...?

5) Person repeatedly made grand statements of "i am trying to tolerate you and it is you who fucks up every time. i really want to be neutral!" but they would always side with my abuser (um. another story for another time) and it would just make me deeper internalize that i am a bad person who gets on others nerves and is undeserving of good treatment so i would Stay longer because there was no way of changing anything, just enduring it. The timing of this was funny actually, because it was when the exile arc was coming to an end and c!tommy ran away and i went to an english camp and it was also snowy and far far away and it felt like an escape (i had like 2 hours of free time every day and it was enought to watch a stream/vod so you can say i had no internet) and holy fuck did c!tommys story helped me undo some of the damage and at least stop thinking of everyone as an enemy who wears a facade

well. back to the complaint yeah? it was sent. and it did nothing

"Person was a valuable worker of a mod team. Person tries to change, the situations you send us are very old and also dealt with. Such drama just ruins the community please don't spread it outside the mod team" as of today, Person keeps their position of athority