#this proposal isn't going to be very polished but it doesn't need to be

[seveneyesoup]

I love working titles

[ID: A title in times new roman reading "Vampire Boydrag; or; Double Bluff; or; How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Masquerade". End ID]

[avelera]

I definitely don't need more WIPs right not for Dreamling, but sometimes it is fun to brainstorm a total nonsense fanfic-y premise played totally straight, which is why I'm fondly remembering the Cinderella Dreamling AU I brainstormed on one of the servers.

(Canon Divergence AU, because that's how I roll)

2022 rolls around and Hob and Dream are friends. Just... friends. Hob would love there to be more. He sometimes suspects, more like wishes really hard, that Dream would like more but, as usual, the guy isn't talking if he does. And Hob is too chicken to ruin the friendship they finally achieved to do something so uncouth as proposition his oldest friend.

He comes to the sad and perhaps inevitable conclusion that Dream has had all the chances in the world to say something so the only conclusion is that Hob's just not that interesting to him in that way. Stands to reason. The more Hob learns about the Dreaming and Dream's fantastical realm and all his adventures, the more Hob's almost single-minded dedication to living a normal life despite his immortality seems a bit... dull.

Enter Desire. Or Death. Or both. This is fanfic-y nonsense, after all, the point is there is a device and the device is our fairy god-person who is also sick to death of watching Dream pine from afar but is also a huge fan of chaos.

They (let's go with Desire for now, even if the trope is a bit overplayed, because it seems like their sort of thing) offer Hob a proposal. The chance to go into the Dreaming each night to woo Dream. Best of all, it will be with Desire's protection of his identity and a small amount of magic to create a persona for wooing Dream that won't be immediately obvious.

Oh, also, Dream is throwing a big fuck-off bash for Faerie or some other Dreaming ally so there's gonna be a party for weeks up there. Perfect place to slip in a new stranger. (Hob is a little charmed by the idea that he gets to be the stranger for once.)

Enter: the Knight of Roses.

Basically, Hob creates a persona into which he pours all of charm, wit, and courtier's polish from 600s years of life. If nothing else, he's having the time of his life at what is essentially a fancy magical masquerade ball where he gets to try his damndest to sweep Dream off his feet.

And it seems to be working. Hard to tell with Dream. But each night, Dream seems excited to see the Knight of Roses again.

(It is working. It's working very very well. The Dreaming is awash in flowers. Dream spends every waking moment he's not at the ball pacing his quarters, interrogating his subjects as to how in the world he can't get to the bottom of who this is, and every person who could nominally be considered his friend including his siblings and subjects are tearing their hair out with how sick they are of hearing about the Knight of Roses.

Hob doesn't hear about it though in the waking because Dream is in love with him and doesn't want to ruin any chance they might have together someday by agonizing over a mysterious guest who is probably some trick sent by Desire or Lucifer or someone to mess with Dream. He has no idea how right he is and how wrong he is not to bring it up to Hob.)

Secret Identity shenanigans ensue, of course, until we hit a breaking point with drama, tears, etc etc the usual for the trope because of course (gasp!) Hob is the Knight of Roses and there never was any need to create a separate persona because Dream was also agonizing over whether Hob was interested and Hob was so chill around him he assumed he was misreading all the signs. (Hob was working so, so hard to appear that chill around Dream.) Identities are unmasked and everyone lives happily ever after.

(But Hob is keeping the outfit once they're officially together, because Dream really, really liked the romance of the whole Knight of Roses identity but he likes it even more now that he knows it's Hob and not an evil trap laid by one of his enemies.)

[meowizard]

lorna mcnessie headcanons i like the scottish and cringe

bi. she would say she's pan but likes the colours of the flag more

type of gay to show up to brunch

has had it up to fucking here with the flannel/plaid/tartan discourse she used to be chill but they just... look so different how can you mess it up...

scared of heights. the lack of water to break her fall doesn't quite compute

soft spot for cute underwear in a very non sexual way.

'OCH! gander at these silly things!! where does yer tail go?' giggling at the bows and lace its all VERY ott

speaks with a v aggressive highlander accent and is very often not understood (to the unattuned ear)

so not a lot of teachers pick on her for questions and she gains a reputation for the queen of discreet note passing

also for stinking up the class with her claw polish but its okay

isn't immortal but has no concept of time as a result of living at the bottom of a loch. she can read clocks but can't tell day from night

and consequently proposes trips out at like. 3am

dog person

her love for poetry (gday robbie burns) translated into a love for musical theatre on land....

is that last one because of that one lunra (lunra? mcmothew? lunessie?) art. yeah

would get on with g3 lagoona! big fan of telenovela type romance, this one

in monster high's SEN set for water monsters in physics. gravity? thrust force?? ELECTRICITY????

i need 2 sleep so fucking bad

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Friends to Lovers (7) Masterlist

part one, part two, part three, part four, part five, part six

50 notes to unbox (ao3) - dylaesthetics Summary: Dan moves out of his parent's home to start university and his older lifelong best friend Phil is rather an efficient help when it comes to helping Dan unpack, as well as a regular visitor of Dan's studio. What happens when Phil stumbles upon Dan's piggy bank for university savings he crafted as a child and finds it a new purpose? What happens when the truth comes out when it's so needed?

OR an overly cute, long and coming of age multiple part one shot you better read now.

A Little More Love - crescendohowell

Summary: Dan and Phil met on the first day of kindergarten and from there it was history.  Or rather they became such close friends that many years later, when the feelings began to shift towards something other than friendship, both were terrified.

A Stolen Ring (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Dan’s not normal. Why? He's not human, he has a mysterious ring, and he hates Phil Lester. They have a strange past, one filled with bullying and avoidance, but when Dan turns into an incubus, everything changes. He struggles with his identity and cries himself to sleep most nights, yearning to be normal. And somehow the universe makes it worse by bringing him and Phil together - in the most literal sense.

Advent Calendar 2019 (ao3) - Phantje

Summary: Dan and Phil are best friends. Also, Dan loves Phil, but Phil doesn't need to know that, especially as it could unredeemably change their relationship. Also, Dan loves being part of Phil's daughter Ashley's life. As long as he can stay close to them and see them be happy, he should be fine.

When Phil asks him for a favour, Dan agrees without hesitating, unaware of how much a taste of his dream life would affect him.

A December-y story of Dan growing in his love for Phil, and Phil discovering his love which has always been there.

By the way, I adore you. (ao3) - lxzyfangirl

Summary: Dan is very sick, and the future is not looking too bright for him, thankfully, he has Phil, his best friend, to accompany him through it all. But is Dan satisfied with being just friends?

Cliché - weezerdan-blog

Summary: Dan Howell is a regular teenager. He goes to high school, he hangs out with his best friends (PJ, Chris, and Phil), and he hates doing homework. He's fairly attractive, enough so to attract the attention of a few girls and secretly Phil. What people don't know about this average teen, is that he isn't so average. Dan Howell is in a popular alternative band. He sings and plays keyboard for this band, known to many as 'Ripping Ivory'. He wears a mask onstage as he sings and is known by his fanbase as Q, even though they know this isn't his true identity.

Dandelions (ao3) - throughtheirsnoses (det395)

Summary: Phil returns to his small town after studying how to improve his power that lets him grow plants with his mind. Phil is anxious and struggling with the expectations put on him to grow new plant-based medicine and on top of it all, his childhood best friend, Dan, gets his heart broken and turns to Phil as a rebound. Phil panics.

Friends With (Tax) Benefits (ao3) - counting2fifteen

Summary: After same-sex marriage is legalized in the UK, Phil suggests he and Dan get married to save money on their taxes. Dan initially rejects his proposal, but after some thought, he changes his mind. Except then he starts to… feel things. Things he really shouldn’t be feeling about his best friend and platonic husband. And all of the sudden, what was supposed to be a simple arrangement between friends has the potential to get much, much more complicated.

Surely Dan can keep his feelings repressed for a little bit longer.

Give Me A Spark, I’ll Give You Explosions - cafephan

Summary: Phil is shy, silently pining. Dan is loud and flirty, and doesn’t care about labels. House parties and nail polish occur.

go your own way (I'd give you my world) (ao3) - itsmyusualphannie (itsmyusualweeb)

Summary: “I’m Dan,” said Dan.

Phil could not look away from him. He thought that Dan was probably the prettiest boy he had ever seen. “I’m Phil,” he said back, because it was polite to introduce oneself to people, otherwise they would remain a stranger. “Phil Lester.”

And so they became friends.

or: a Forrest Gump AU where Phil slowly falls for his best friend as the years go by, but Dan loses himself to the world and his past.

How do you Sleep? (When you Lie to Me.) (ao3) - CactiPhan

Summary: Dan is about to be married to his longtime boyfriend Henry, but plans change when he walks in on him cheating on Dan. The only person he can run back to is his best friend, who he was blind not to see was perfect for him.

Hurt me once (ao3) - Augusti_Lila

Summary: Dan had decided to confess Phil his love. But sometimes what we plan it's not what we end up having.

If You Don't Love Me, Pretend (ao3) - phantasticworks

Summary: All his life, Dan has wanted to have the chance to be a parent someday. He would be the best parent that ever existed, he was sure of it. Fostering might not be the most traditional way on the road to parenting, but Dan's dead set on doing it anyway. But, well, it would be easier with a co-parent, right?

the bed-sharing, fake relationship, friends-to-lovers, parent fic i was desperate to read; when i shouted into the void and was met with silence, i decided i'd do it myself

Important Dates in History (ao3) - JudeAraya

Summary: Dan’s spent his gap year spinning his wheels; stuck working at Asda and living at home, the only thing really going for him is his new best (online) friend AmazingFilly. Even though Dan’s only come out to himself and Filly, he decides to travel to London alone for his first Pride. When he meets a gorgeous boy who asks him on a date, Dan takes the plunge. Thank god he has a best friend to talk him through his fears as he takes on his first potential relationship.

Jump Off the Deep End (ao3) - pasteldnp

Summary: Sometimes it takes a road trip with your meddlesome brother and his girlfriend to end up exactly where you want to be.

Kings - crescendohowell

Summary: Dan and Phil jokingly nominate each other for homecoming King and the entire school ships it

Leeches To Lovers (ao3) - intoapuddle

Summary: Phil was always a little needy after a breakup, and Dan was always a little needy in general, so leeching onto your best friend for physical contact wasn't a big deal, right?

Of Grim Tales and Happily Ever Afters (ao3) - bakingphaninmymind

Summary: Once upon a time Dan and Phil started their own Valentine’s Day tradition. Friends do things like that to feel less lonely after all. However, this time their annual practice ends with the boys on a rather shaky ground as they part ways for the night and the universe decides it’s had enough. Inconspicuous dangers await around every corner as the duo lands in a fairy-tale world full of frog princes, wishes and murderous puppies. Oh, and a fuck ton of hair. To return to the comfort of their own world, Dan and Phil must face some sticky truths of the foundation that their friendship is built on and realise that the only way forward is by sticking together. A.K.A. the story I started writing when the power was out and the one in which I like to mix Present Day English with some Old English-- because why not. Happy Valentine’s Day!

Once You’re Mine - cuddlephan

Summary: Dan and Phil are in high school and while Dan’s with Phil he has a wet dream about him and gets embarrassed which leads to smut.

Out of My League (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Dan thinks Phil is out of his league.

pitch a tent in the forest of my heart (ao3) - dickiegreenleaf

Summary: Dan likes camping, and Phil likes Dan. He could maybe be persuaded on the camping thing, too, if it weren't for the heat, bugs, exercise, lack of air conditioning, and general discomfort.

Well—at least Dan's there. But even so, Dan seems to be throwing an eternal pity party lately and Phil can't seem to figure out why.

Reconciliation of the Hopeful Kin (ao3) - Yiffandquiff (paradisobound)

Summary: Phil has been friends with Dan for as long as he can remember. But when he leaves Dan behind to go to University, he doesn't expect for his crush on Dan to grow more when he sees how different Dan looks now. Living in Manchester, he gets called home to help with his father's sudden illness. But during this time, Phil decides to contact Dan again. Reconnecting with each other, Phil realizes he doesn't want to go back to Manchester without telling Dan how he feels first.

Roses are Red (ao3) - counting2fifteen

Summary: Dan wants to buy his best friend Phil an anonymous rose, and also maybe confess his feelings. The problem? Phil is the one selling the anonymous roses.

Luckily, PJ has a plan.

Something New (ao3) - benotafraidofwriting

Summary: Dan wants Phil's help when trying something new, but can Phil keep his feelings for his best friend at bay?

something to play for (ao3) - spaceandvinyls

Summary: “the world doesn’t revolve around basketball, lester.”

a basketball!au where phil is the school's star player and dan is his best friend, watching from the sidelines. everything changes when the team makes it to state championships for the first time in ten years and dan and phil realize they want something more than friendship.

the etiquette of a farmer’s market (ao3) - Fictropes

Summary: It starts with Phil destroying a supermarket shelf, it ends with the hot guy running the cheese stall.

the magic of you (ao3) - CapriciousCrab

Summary: In love with his best friend for years but afraid to risk their friendship, Dan pushes his feelings aside in order to keep Phil in his life. But what happens when a series of events and a little magic change things forever?

There Were Only Two Beds (ao3) - dickiegreenleaf

Summary: Dan is put in charge of booking a room for a short trip he and his best friend take. He doesn't screw it up at all, much to his own chagrin.

you fill my head with you (ao3) - basl

Summary: Most days Phil is chill. He doesn’t overanalyze every interaction he has with Dan, he doesn’t think about the missed opportunities and the big secret he’s keeping from his best friend. Most days he lives his life without focusing too much on the things that make him sad.

or dan and phil are best friends and neighbors and secretly (not so secretly) in love.

[olderthannetfic]

Hi! I love your blog! Thanks for doing what you do! I had a question about a03.

tl;dr Nowadays, I see essayists suggesting a03 turn into a social media-ish website. In the making of the a03, was it ever discussed to have the archive include social media mechanics (like group chats, PMs)? Where does this idea come from? Is there a history to it?

Long version: I wandered the Interwebs and spotted an essay critiquing a03. The essayist posited that fans would be better served if a03 had a "closed community" option, where only a select group of users could see a fic. This community would be able to socialize in a group chat or message board--it sounded like they wanted LJ back, or to reinvent Discord. This wish puzzled me, because a03 is an archive, not social media.

I understand wanting to keep a fic private, but ao3 already has functions for that: orphan the fic or Unrevealed/Anonymous Collections. Or, yanno, a fan could post their fic on a private Discord, or a password blocked Tumblr. Or email their friends. There are lots of options. When it was brought up that the essayist could use a03's code to make their own semi-private archive, the essayist responded that making an archive was too much work, and nobody would find their fic, ever (which is what I thought they wanted...?).

I'm puzzled why this essayist wanted a03 to be everything all at once. Isn't it enough that it protects our fic and stores our history? We can log in to other websites to talk to each other.

Thanks for reading this ask! It got way long, haha.

--

In the making of the a03, was it ever discussed to have the archive include social media mechanics

Constantly and persistently.

People were desperate for The Next Livejournal just as people a couple of years ago were desperate for The Next Tumblr.

Since LJ was the platform people were thinking in terms of, group chats weren't mentioned so much. I don't recall if PMs were, but LJ (and now DW) have fine gradations of privacy filters and also PMs, so that kind of thing was inherent to the premise.

From the beginning, astolat and other founders were very clear that AO3 was not going to be social media. Period.

--

The functionality that essay describes sounds like exactly what Dreamwidth is good for. In 2022, one could easily make a private com there for one's friends' fic. The sorting isn't as good as AO3, but if a com mod tags well and it's a smaller group of people and fic, it's still pretty convenient. The privacy controls are excellent.

In 2007, as OTW/AO3 was being proposed and discussed, not everyone was down with moving to DW or using it that way. Some people had beef with Denise, founder of DW, and some didn't think enough of fandom was moving there to make it suit their needs. Denise is great and they should get over it, but the latter problem is always an issue on any platform.

--

The biggest conceptual issue is between two camps:

LJ fandom and pre-LJ fandom.

Livejournal reigned supreme for most of a decade, just like Tumblr did. Also like Tumblr, tons of fans got into fanfic and related stuff during that time and took the platform and its specifics as How Fandom Works: the natural and eternal default. When platform change happened, people said "We can't go to X! It doesn't have basic feature Y!"...

And then everyone left for platform X and they were all alone.

The highly distinctive feature of LJ is that the fic posting and the social stuff happened in exactly the same space. I hated this. I loathed reading fic on LJ. To me, this was a newfangled and worse way of doing fandom. But if you got started on LJ, that's The Way Things Work.

Immediately prior to LJ and overlapping with that period was the era of fandom archives. I was very used to doing the socializing and serializing of fic on a mailing list, then posting finished works to an archive. The first posting was a little more polished, but it's not dissimilar to twitter threadfic now. You know it's hard to find later, so you clean that shit up and store it in the long-term storage, which is an archive.

The split model of twitter+AO3 or tumblr+AO3 or discord+AO3 is culturally very similar to mailing list+older archive or usenet+older archive.

Even the older archives that had a lot of social space often still had mailing lists and other offsite more ephemeral social spaces feeding into them. The LJ model was a departure from the norm. It was just a very influential and popular departure.

[lightvsdark18]

My response to some voicelines (Lilia)

Looking back, the days we've spent together have been enjoyable ones indeed.

Yeah, hanging out with you has been fun.

It's more relaxing upside-down.

For you.

Can you keep up with me?

Probably not from what other students told me.

Isn't this fun?

For you, yes. For me, no.

Khee hee, are you joining us?

Yeah, I'm coming.

Can your eyes keep up with me?

I don't think so.

Care for a sip?

What? No!

Go with your first instinct.

But I don't trust it.

Isn't this appetizing?

... I think I lost my appetite.

What's this smoke?

Grim, what did you do?

A baby could do this.

Well, this baby probably can't.

Strike while the potion's hot!

Don't yell in my ear.

Wrap this up quickly.

Please don't rush me.

School uniform

Do you have any plans after this? If not, what would you say to joining me for a walk? I'd love to bend your ear.

Bend my ear? Yeah, I'll join you.

What do you think? Aren't I one seriously mysterious and attractive boy?

Yeah, whatever you say, Lilia. *Smiles*

Classes should always be taken seriously.

But it's hard when you have no motivation.

P.E. uniform

I'm quite spry. Trouble is, I so rarely get a chance to show it. Fancy a race?

Um, no thanks. I'm tired as it is.

I just got out of flight class. You want to know my trick? Think to yourself, "I want to fly," and you will.

*Squints*

My, my. You've barely crawled out of the cradle and you're already walking on two legs? Most impressive.

*Raises brow*

Exercising really makes you thirsty. Hm? This? It's tomato juice. Khee hee. What had you been expecting?

Water, I was expecting water, not tomato juice after a workout.

What are you doing? Is that your idea of dance practice? A poor showing, if so.

:( You didn't have to say it like that.

Labwear

I'm good at identifying medicinal herbs. If I eat one and it doesn't do anything, it's not medicinal at all.

You really shouldn't do that. You could eat something poisonous.

Silver's always been an easy child. Why, he'd fall right to sleep after eating my home cooking.

("From what Malleus told me, I think you made Silver unconscious.")

You have questions? Go ahead and ask; I've seen everything. Though I've forgotten most of it.

>:(

I'm not the biggest fan of taking careful, precise measurements. The phrase "eyeballing it" was made for me.

*Steps a few inches away from him*

Are you good at experiments?

I guess I'm decent.

Being risk-averse brings minimal returns. No guts, no glory! Give it a go.

Okay, calm down first.

Ceremonial Robes

Hm? Where is Malleus?

*Being hugged by Malleus in the corner*

With speed like yours, you'll never be able to catch me.

>:(

You've grown quite a bit since you first enrolled. Human children shoot up so dizzyingly fast...

I know you're just saying that because I'm a grown adult, I finished growing years ago, Lilia.

Suitor Suit

You wish to hear me give an earnest proposal? Very well, but just note, you might be in for a swooning.

Then swoon me.

Infiltrating enemy lines on a rescue mission sounds delightful! It's just like an RPG. Pity my motivation's gone because we're rescuing Idia.

Rude.

This thorn-patterned ribbon really brings the look together! What's the matter? Has my dapperness stunned you into silence?

Huh? Oh, sorry, I spaced out.

I've seen many kinds of love in my day, but I confess, I rarely engage in romantic gossip. How would you like to chat about it with me?

I guess, I don't think I have a lot to say on romance.

Halloween

I love most kinds of sweets, but not marshmallows. It feels like I'm eating air.

What about marshmallow tea? It's good for sore throats.

If I were truly a lóng, I would let you ride on my back. But perhaps you'll settle for a piggyback ride?

I don't need a piggyback, Lilia.

How do you like my red claws? Vil made them for me. He called them "gel nails" or some such thing.

It's gel nail polish. I need to paint my nails at some point.

Have you seen Ace? He always seems to be munching on one of Trey's delicious desserts, so I tried making a dessert for him, too.

I think I saw him with his dorm. (Not knowing they should have lied)

[juniawrites]

Junia's Journey-Where to? I

As my recent post have been leading up to the present, the question now is, where do I want to go. And why do I want to go, where I want to go?

In this post, i want to limit myself to clothing, interior design, make up and the likes. I shall debate bodily changes in a different post.

As I already mentioned in a different post, when I was a child I saw an advertisement of Cameron Diaz in a pink see through dress, and thought to myself- when I grow up, I want to have a dress just like her. And now, to my great pleasure, I can anounce, that I have.

Ever since my coming out, my color palette has changed drastically. While I was in the closet, I wore next to no colors, mostly black and white, and dark blue. Now that has changed, my main go to colors are green and pink, and some times different shades of red/organe. I love it so much. I have a hard time expressing my euphoria, because all my life, I have been surpressing these desires. I aspire to be a bimbo. I want to wear pink dresses, skirts, I want to have revealing dresses. I want to wear nail polish every day. In short, I want to be very feminine. In all aspects of life. When I sleep I want to sleep in a cute night gown or negligee.

When I go to work, I want to wear a dress suit or a pant suit, if pink doesn't look nice there, I will have to choose a different color.

When I am with friends I want to wear a cute skirt and a blouse or a dress. In the summer time, I want to wear a summer dress showing off my long legs. When I go swimming, I want to a one piece suit and a bikini for chilling at the pool. When I do sports I want to have cute leggins and a fitting top.

I also like wearing make up, eyeshadow, mascara, highlighter, lipstick. I don't quite know yet how to use foundation properly.

But I guess after this lookbook you get the message, I really crave being feminine and being percieved as such. Which is really the whole reason, why I would like to invest in such a wardrobe, I want to ensure, that what ever situation I am in my life, I feel feminine and am seen as feminine. No matter where I am be it at the yoga studio, in the office or on the street, people should think, thats a woman, like so obviously a woman. I want to think like that about myself.

This should also be reflected in the interior design of my flat. The natural question is, what makes a flat feminine, why has any flat ever been feminine. I debated this with my wife, it was easier to agree on what made a flat "male", their are two archetypes of male interior designs. There is the I don't give a fuck, there is one shitty table with two uncomfortable chairs and a bed with out bed covers. The other is this Bauhaus "function over form" paradigm of design . Hence, ex negativo, we decided that we should paint our walls in pink and green. Repaint some pieces furniture, buy new bed sheets, buy new mirrors, decorate more, with pictures, maybe more plants etc.

The Bauhaus dichotomy "function" vs "form" really cuts to the core of the what percieves to be the main difference between men and women and this is also obvious in the clothing I chose to display. The night gown has ruffles, Cameron Diaz' dress is to short and thin to provide either warmth or protection, a skirt is less practical than pants. Make Up is completly "form" and no "function". The yoga outfit I proposed is also adorned with colors. Colors in general a seen as decoration and not as a part of function if not for colors like red which are supposed to warn you.

The "no thoughts just vibes slogan" of a bimbo than ultimately boils down to this-reject funtion completly, be form and enjoy it, stick a finger to patriarchy of necessities, discipline and hardship.

But isn't form a function? Doesn't applying make up every morning need discipline? Of course ! Our mode of thinking about gender is just one possible mode of thinking about it, there are other possibilities. But for the time being, I shall enjoy being firmly entrenchend in this thinking and encasing myself in silk, lace and satin, to finally be the woman, that I was also meant to be.

[pleasantwizardphilosopher]

For those of you who are in tune with my current fic. Here's Chapter 5: Something akin love.

TW: Mentions of blood and violence

Supergirl is hovering several meters above the city, keeping her senses alert in case her assistance is needed. It’s around midnight and she's doing her nightly patrol, since engaging herself in the joint project with the pale genius, she has been taking on only patrolling a few days a week at night. That way she can focus entirely on the project while in the presence of the CEO, unless some rouge alien decides to play a little rough and her assistance is needed, and at night she can still be National City’s beloved hero. Being this high up in the sky, where her only companions are a few clouds and the rare passengers’ plane, it’s easy to get lost in her thoughts. It’s been over a year since she and Lena started working side-by-side, however, it just feels as if they've known each other for a long time, maybe in another life, or another universe.

Whenever the hero looks at the gorgeous woman, she feels like she’s staring right into her mind, as if all her fears, insecurities and problems are just written all over her face, as if she were crystalline and the Girl of Steel could stare right into her soul, as much as it is terrifying, it feels like coming home, comforting. At first, the hero wondered if Lena felt the same way as she did, nonetheless, it has been becoming increasingly clear that she, indeed, does, sometimes Kara would show up from a mission and the Irish goddess would look at her as if she could also read her soul, her fears and insecurities written clearly for her to read, in a way she is much too familiar. It scares the crap out of her, she may be the Maiden of Might, but the powerful CEO can turn her into a mushy puddle with a simple glance, it’s also reassuring, knowing that someone reads her in the same way she does, she didn’t even think something like this would ever happen to her, but she’s grateful it did, she feels seen for the first time since Krypton exploded.

There is just one teeny tiny problem, Lena still doesn’t know about Supergirl and the fact that she and her are one and the same. She knows that she has to tell her, there is no other way around, especially with how close they have gotten, and how her feelings are spilling from her heart now, be it stolen glances or a hug a little too long to be considered strictly platonic, keeping them on check is becoming harder every day, even for the Girl of Steel. Nevertheless, the idea of telling her makes her heart ache, deeply, she knows how much this secret is going to hurt her, hurt them both, after all the betrayal and abuse she has been forced to endure and lock deep down throughout her life, this will break her, she knows it with startling clarity. However, the more she keeps it hidden, the worse it’s going to hurt, and the less likely it will be for them to recover from it.

There is no going around this, and she is certain. When they first started this project Kara didn’t even consider the importance this woman could have in her life, she took it all for granted and went on like it was no biggie, and she was absolutely wrong.

The cold February wind brings her back to the present, were the nightlife of the city still reaches her ears, even though she is very high up, and in the background, she can hear a heartbeat she has become very used to, it grounds her, knowing that somewhere out there, Lena is safe and sound. It brings to her mind memories of all the moments they have shared together, of how when she laughs, she snorts a little, very cutely, her eyes crinkle and her dimples show, she looks just as young as she actually is, without the burden of a twisted family and a Fortune 100 company on her back. She remembers all those lunches together and conversations about science that made them both excited and giddy, finally having someone capable of keeping up with their minds, of all those gentle touches, stolen in between. It makes her selfishly decide to wait a little bit more, to indulge herself a little further, before dropping the Supergirl bomb.

The sound of the police radio makes her ears perk and she focuses on the sound to make out the words. There has been an attack, the pro-human rights front (what on Rao’s name?) has raided yet another alien-filled zone of the city, taking them out of their houses. No one was hurt, luckily, but now the police have their hands full with misplaced aliens. There is just something in the way they talk about the 5th and Coronel Streets shelter that hits her like a cold bucket of water, this isn’t a novelty, it’s not new for something like this to happen, and she wants to know why hasn’t anyone talked to her about this?

She drops from the sky and bursts through Alex’s balcony, startling her sister, who was calmy sipping some beer and watching TV, making her spill a little on her couch while trying to get to her feet and grab her gun, just in case. The hero starts pacing, angrily, she feels so much anger bubbling inside of her that it’s blinding, why why why why are humans attacking aliens and why hasn’t she been informed? Her fists are balled and clenched tightly, knuckles turning white, she crosses her arms in an attempt not to snap at Alex, who is standing to the side trying to get her to calm down so they can figure out something together, hazel eyes seem confused and slightly worried, and Kara feels like she’s missing something here, but the rage she’s feeling, the helplessness, won’t allow her to think clearly. She was under the impression that human acceptance towards aliens was growing, as she herself has been more openly accepted in the city’s everydayness and the every-day citizen, she hasn’t heard about this front and it worries her own naivete in the face of the growing terror.

Abruptly, Alex grabs her by the arms, forcing her to a stop. She walks towards the couch to grab the TV remote and starts shuffling channels until she gets to the news. “Anti-alien hate peaceful protests took place today all across National City”. That was today, in the afternoon, while she was working on her project with Lena, with her calming scent of coffee and cinnamon. Alex then takes out her phone and shows her the news for the past week, all of them fall along the same lines, alien hatred has been rising, there have been several deaths on both sides and the ‘Pro-human rights front’ keeps growing every day. Humans like Lex, who hate aliens, who feel threatened by them and decided to take matters in their own hands, committing xenophobic hate crimes towards populations that Kara knows have been facing discrimination since forever. How could she have been so blind? She didn’t even know things like this were happening and escalating at such alarming rate. Now she understands why Alex’s looking at her like that, like she has been under a rock (more like up in the clouds), it’s been all over the news for months now, and she has been so lost in green eyes that she entirely missed it. She needs to get her head in the game, that doesn’t mean distancing from the CEO, absolutely not, but she’ll take more time patrolling and going to the streets to support her fellow aliens, she’ll take a stronger and clear stand in favor of the ones she stands for, for those who she can make a difference being an alien herself, it’s decided.

It’s mid-May, the sunlight is streaming freely from the windows in her lab, she has been actively fighting to stop hate towards aliens from spreading but it’s proven to be quite the challenge, hate seems to be deeply rooted among the society and humans feel displaced by aliens, it’s a fight uphill, but the Maiden of Might is not going to let it get to her, to affect her hope, she is the personification of it after all. She and the raven-haired woman are going through the nanobots issues, albeit they now have a protocol to synthesize the platinum oxide nanoparticles, still needs polishing but is efficient so far; the nanobots still have some unresolved issues, which they are now trying to overcome with brainstorming ideas and proposals, hoping that someone might hit the jackpot or at least provide a new angle.

When the CEO asked her if she knew quantum mechanics she wanted to be shaken, offended even, but now, exactly five minutes later, she's absolutely regretting saying that she, indeed, knows, because as the green-eyed woman goes on and on (golly) about how solid-state physics could be the answer to their problems, Kara’s mind is starting to wander, drifting very far away from all those explanations about Fermi levels and who knows what else. Lena knows Kara is well-versed in quantum mechanics, however, she is also quite certain that talking about solid-state mechanics for nanodevices is a little out of her league, if the crinkle between her eyebrows is something to go by. Nevertheless, the woman is listening to her intently, deep blue eyes never leaving green, as if her voice is the most wonderful sound she's ever heard. Her beautiful cerulean eyes follow every hand gesture, a small soft tender smile tugging at her lips. The scent of lavender and vanilla is all the Luthor is aware of.

Kara isn't getting shi-anything, it's like the Irish goddess is speaking in a whole different language, and she speaks several mind you, but she doesn't care, she is absolutely enamored with the way her voice quivers with excitement every time she explains a new concept to her, and then gets to a higher pitch with frustration as she explains what isn't going the way she expected, or how the experiment isn’t responding the way she wanted it to, the tingle of amusement and curiosity bright and clear in forest green eyes, and the ever-present smell of coffee on her breath make her head feel dizzy and get goosebumps all over, a light pink dusting her cheeks; and yeah, she may be a falling a little bit for her.

Game night arrives and everyone is excited with anticipation, Kara finally gathered her wits and decided to ask Lena to join them. She has become quite accustomed to the Superfriends, seeing them all in quite a daily basis. At first, she felt like a fish outside the water, hopelessly shaking, but it was quite easy to fit in with Kara’s friends a colleagues. Winn and Brainy always talk about how much they admire her work, and how her ideas have revolutionized science, and Nia is always like a younger sister she never had, asking for advice, taking her for coffee and shopping, showing her the latest memes, Lena still doesn’t get those at all. It’s interesting, how they never made her feel like ‘a Luthor’, to them, her last name didn’t matter, and is so sweet in a way that makes her want to cry, before all this no one would ever touch a Luthor with a wooden stick. Here, she is just Lena, the 25-year-old genius, also CEO of L-Corp and her ideas and feelings are validated.

She has never had friends like this, to support her and tease her, not aside from Sam, Andrea and Jack, but since they are still in Metropolis, it’s refreshing to have new friends close now, her own chosen family. She gets to meet Kara’s badass sister, FBI agent Alexandra Danvers and her girlfriend, Kelly Olsen, who is a trauma therapist for the FBI, helping agents who have been through traumatic experiences overcome the PTSD; that’s how they met, on the hallways of the FBI headquarters, after Alex had lost her last partner and lover, Maggie Sawyer, quite abruptly during an undercover that went wrong, it was very hard for her to overcome it and Kelly helped greatly, eventually falling in love for each other. And it is a sweet surprise, since no one knew about Kelly until this very night. She can tell how happy Kara is for her sister, with the way her baby blue eyes widen and a soft smile dances in her face, bouncing feather-like on the balls of her feet.

Drinks are poured freely, and everyone chats about their lives, playing games is definitely not the main purpose of game night, she’s come to realize, more so after crushing everyone in Monopoly. Lena feels warm all over, small in a good way, pretenses long gone, not only due to the wine and beers, but because she’s surrounded by people willing to overlook her family’s crimes when she herself hasn’t been able to stop feeling like she’s the one to blame. When Kara locks eyes with her from across the room, she can see sparkling tears in jade-green eyes, and she cannot help but give her a small reassuring smile, in that way Lena knows everything will be fine.

Nobody mentions the ever-growing wave of hatred towards aliens, it’s a happy evening and everyone would like to keep it that way. The situation is filled with dead ends, it’s infuriating for the Girl of Steel, the Superfriends and Alex have been using all their resources and influences to find out exactly who is behind the human-rights front, to no good, it’s becoming increasingly worrying, more and more humans keep joining the front and turning against aliens, and Kara has to physically restrain herself from punching a hole in the wall out of frustration every time they fail. Families have been broken, many aliens have been evicted, and whoever is behind keeps pulling the strings towards more violence. More and more protest have risen towards alien-rights and respect, no more xenophobia, even though they are mostly still pacifist, a few aliens have started turning towards violence as well and the tension keeps rising. The Kryptonian herself has taken part of some pacific protests, in an attempt to avoid full-blown war. But the situation is becoming a mined field. Her presence in the protests only spurring more hate from the human side, as if this was a matter of sides to begin with, they’re taking advantage of species that had fled from war, hunger or destruction, she is the personification of it, in the end, she herself fled because she had no choice, because there was nothing more for her, even though it wasn’t exactly her choice. She knows, however, that by looking human she’s been able to avoid a lot of hate that comes from fear, from being different, and her speeches seem to be hitting a wall, people just aren’t listening.

Lena herself has started taking part into looking for information about the hatred wave, at first to know whether her so called family was part of it and after getting to know that Nia and her chief of security, J’onn, who is actually an undercover FBI agent (but she still doesn’t need to know that), are aliens, she has taken an active role towards human-alien allies and respect, even going as far as developing technology that can conceal aliens’ more extravagant features and make them look human, allowing them to blend in and avoid recognition, but the circumstances are becoming increasingly worse, and she is almost sure that something severe will happen, she has never wanted to be wrong so badly.

They are dancing in their lab, yeah theirs. It’s the end of July and Kara was preparing a solution of platinum oxide nanoparticles inside a shell of chrome, pop music blaring from the speakers, Lena honest to God doesn’t know how she’s come to be fond of NSYNC; when baby blue eyes lift from where they were staring at the boiling solution in the Erlenmeyer flask, they see slender agile fingers tweaking with the panels nanobots with a tiny screwdriver and through a magnifying glass, the CEO is wearing a navy blue blouse tucked into black jeans, and is currently finishing the circuitry for the prototype nanobots, which is going to work alongside the nanoparticles Kara is synthesizing. The air around them smells like tin, from the tools Lena is using, vanilla and flowers, mixing in the air, the same way their lives have mixed, intertwined. The Luthor looks soft, Kara thinks, with her big, black-rimmed glasses, and her face magnified by the magnifying glass she is using to fix the system, her tongue poking from the side of her mouth, eyebrows furrowed in concentration.

And Kara knows, she is long gone for this woman with beautiful eyes and the brightest mind, it sends shivers down her spine just to think about it. Being so mesmerized memorizing every tiny detail about the Irish woman, the Kryptonian mistakenly added and excessive amount of copper chloride, the reductor for this reaction, and it started spilling violently everywhere, a strong smell of lead and chlorine filling the lab. Green eyes look over to where strong hands are working frantically to stop the mess, turn off the hot plate and take the flask to the sink for proper cleaning. Her heart clenches with worry, immediately dropping her tools to take a look at Kara, making sure everything is fine, her heart is beating so hard that she’s afraid it will break free through her ribs. The air in her lungs seems freezing and it’s getting hard to breathe when strong arms surround her into a hug, a protective embrace she finds herself welcoming, melting in steel-like arms. There is something about this woman’s hugs that make Lena feel at home, safe in a way no one has ever given to her, and so ultimately cared for, and Kara gives so much, so freely, that is too much sometimes, is overwhelming. But now, however, is exactly what she needed. Standing in the middle of their lab, her breathing and heartbeat starts to even, an upbeat song starts to blast from the speakers and the outside world vanishes.

Kara starts swaying them side-to-side softly, to the beat of the music, when the no-nonsense CEO lets out a soft giggle, she steps back a little and takes her hands, swaying her hips exaggeratedly to the upbeat tone, laugh erupting from deeply within her chest. From one moment to the other, they find themselves dancing. And Lena cannot help but think about how adorkable this woman is, with her beaming smile, laughing so freely her head tips back, eyes crinkling, blue filled with joy and warmth and something else she can’t seem to decipher; she’s never felt this way, the way Kara’s laugh seems to fill every corner with glee, lavender and cinnamon surrounding her like a warm embrace, letting herself go pliant into strong arms. The blonde twirls her around in dramatic movements, delighting in the gleeful sound of the Irish woman’s laugh, her dimples pronounced, kryptonite-green eyes glinting with amusement and freedom, lovingly staring into blue. And if the Superfriends are watching the whole interaction through the cameras installed in her lab, she certainly doesn’t care. And yeah, she’s falling, and hard.

It all went to hell.

It is a fairly normal afternoon in mid-October. Kara is patrolling, keeping her senses alert for any information or suspicious activity that may clue them into what the human front is up to, they have been able to stop a few riots and deescalate some protests, but they are still quite behind them. When screams of terror start filling the air surrounding her, making her get goosebumps and feel cold electricity rushing through her spine, the hero booms supersonically to the location where they’re coming from and her soul falls to her feet. The human front has rioted yet another suburb on the northeast of the city, where the alien population outnumbers humans. They are heavily armed, as far as she can tell, the bullet casquets outside the building, the marks on the walls, and the guns firing sounds agreeing with her conclusion. The top floor is on fire, orange and yellowish flames creeping from the windows and thick black smoke rising up in the air, and she knows that if she doesn’t hurry several lives will be lost.

She rushes inside the building while simultaneously calling for backup through her comms, what she sees will probably scar her for life. There are several bodies lying on the hallway, unmoving, there is blood pricking from them, flowing onto the floor into a red river, dropping down the stairway and into the street, announcing what she’ll find on the top floors, they were tortured, she can tell from their wounds, killed slowly, inhumanly, making her chest flare with white rage. As a speeding bullet she checks them all for vitals, finding that most of them are already gone, she takes the ones still responding to safety for when the emergency services arrive and speeds back into the building, several black unregistered SUVs had started arriving, Alex and other FBI agents in full tactical gear stepping out from them, they started surrounding the building, ready to burst into it when the signal is given.

The Maiden of Might speeds into the building again, just as Dreamer arrives and bursts in right behind her, both putting out fires as they keep moving upwards. There are less bodies on the upper floors and Kara can only assume that they got word from the lower floors and managed to flee before the gunmen got to them. Straining her hearing she can hear hushed voices and booted feet skidding through the floor above, several heartbeats thumping hard and many others fainting; she can only assume that they haven’t heard the FBI arrive, since they didn’t have sirens on. She pushes the floor and breaks through the ceiling to reach them as soon as possible, Nia hot on her heels.

Several apartments are on fire, the pungent smell of burnt skin and smoke filling the space, she can hear faint sobs coming from some of them, terror settling heavily in her lungs, a few quiet whimpers can be heard as well. At the end of the hallway there is a tall figure, hadn’t she gotten closer to Lena, she wouldn’t know who that was, now, she’d plague her dreams endlessly for months. The one and only Lilian Luthor is standing right at the end of the hallway, fire dancing on her blue eyes, cold, icy; she’s wearing a long raincoat, her hair in a tidy and complicated updo. What creeps the Girl of Steel the most, however, is her wicked smile, how her lips curl upwards in a scowl, the woman distillates insanity through every pore. Armed gunmen surround her, their clothes stained with alien blood, some of the weapons they are holding are from alien origin and it makes bile rise up the blonde’s throat, how dare she?

Her eyes start glowing with the familiar burn of heat vision and she shoots at the woman, her goons take retaliation and fire back, Dreamer is putting out fires and helping aliens get to safety while the Maiden of Might receives the blunt force of the weapons. The bullets bounce off of her harmlessly, even the alien weapons do very little damage to her skin, she was naïve, however, as one very buffy gunman steps forward and shoots kryptonite bullets at her, she is fast, albeit not fast enough, while she manages to avoid most of the green-glowing bullets one actually hits her, settling right under her left clavicle. White blinding pain searing through her body, everything is turned into a blur, and she feels so tired, as if she had ran a triathlon twenty-seven times (May Rao help her), making her knees weak, she won’t fall here though, keeping herself upright with sheer stubbornness, still using her body as shield so Nia can take as many of them out as possible. Pulling all her strength and determination together with a huge effort, she blows her freeze breath throughout the whole floor, putting out whatever fires were left and destabilizing the armed men, simultaneously allowing the FBI to climb through the stairway to help.

The sounds of a few charges blowing off gets to her ears (Alex!) an added weight of worry hanging on her shoulders, barely allowing her to push forward, landing punches and hooks to whoever dares try to take her down, thank Rao Alex bothered to teach her fighting techniques when she first started her superheroing endeavors, the nauseating crunch of broken bones and splintered arms ringing in her ears. She’s bleeding quite severely, the front of her suit already sticky with blood. Fortunately, Alex with several agents burst through the elevator doors, apparently climbing to get there through the elevator shaft. And opens fire freely to where the Luthor is.  From the stair’s doors several drones, Lena’s drones, she can tell for the logo on the side, trapping Lillian between the agents and her daughter’s own creation. These were the first aid drones, which, thanks to the Irish woman being the genius she is, could improve the voltage they gave for reanimation situations and electrocute the armed men within range. Moving forward in the collective efforts to take the wicked woman down.

Downstairs, at the front of the building, the green-eyed CEO is using a portable quantum computer with several screens to monitor and control her drones, which lays on the hood of one of the FBI’s SUVs. When Alex called her to let her know of the raid and that they may need her help, she certainly didn’t expect to see dear Mother there. When she did, she felt the acrid taste of bile on her mouth, hate towards the woman fueling her, because of course she’d be behind it all, she managed to scan the building with a device of her own creation designed to locate bombs before law enforcement teams bursts into a building. She’s never been prouder of herself than she was when she actually found charges planted on the columns that supported the emergency stairway, which the FBI was going to use to get to the top level, being able to warn them in time. She’s wearing black jeans and a white blouse underneath an FBI-issued bulletproof vest, she can see through the camera of the drones how the FBI leaded by Alex managed to make it in time, before Supergirl, who seems wounded, fell under the force of her stepmother’s sick plot. She also revels on how surprised the woman seemed when she recognized the logo on the flying machines.

Back inside the building worried hazel eyes lock with pained baby blue; Kara retreats to finish helping Dreamer with the victims. Trusting these mighty women with Lillian. From her peripheral sight she can see Alex pull a shield Lena manufactured specifically to protect them from alien weapons. She bursts through the nearest apartment and finds a heartbreaking scene, which she is certain will be seared to her brain, until her death. On the small apartment, barely passing through the doorframe is a Kaupe, death, on the floor, they have bleed profusely, from what she can tell, a big amorphous cut ripping their chest open, smearing their amazing tribal tattoos; using her X-ray vision the hero can see that underneath them is a trapdoor that hides two young Kaupe children, both of them injured. National City’s hero takes little care for the real state property right now, so she breaks through the floor with her fist after sparing a millisecond glance, scooping them both on her arms, maybe she’ll get fast enough to the emergency services, sirens the Kryptonian can already see are from several floors below.

However, she is still very weak from the bullet still poisoning her veins, the Kryptonite has been weakening her since the moment it touched her skin, she may not be fast enough. Taking a breath, she takes them down and turns them to a paramedic, hoping for the best. Returning immediately to the building to keep taking people out, she overheard through one of their radios that Lillian was being taken down, thanks to the timely apparition of J’onn, her and Alex’s space dad, as he was Alex’s mentor while in the FBI, also known as the Martian Manhunter, and someone who had been tasked with the protection of Lena, after everything the woman went through with her brother’s crusade.

Reuniting with Dreamer, both heroes keep checking for people still on the building, they still took out another four, an old couple, a teenager who was high on alien weed, and a middle-aged man who had been trapped. Without missing a beat, she returns to check on the Kaupe children. She should’ve been faster.

All those ones seeing the situation develop from the news channels that have already arrived were showing the same image. The city stopped for a moment, complete silence, not even her heartbeat in her ears. Nothing. Supergirl is kneeled on the floor silent tears streaming down her face, heartbrokenly to anyone who might pay enough attention; she is pale, green veins popping through her face, and her blood is tainting the front of her suit from a wound on her shoulder. She is softly pulling by the waist one of the Kaupe children, who is openly crying, screaming and trying with all their might to get free from the hero’s grasp, kicking and squirming; they are pulling the hand of their sibling, who is being taken away covered in pristine white sheets, their injuries were too severe, they didn’t make it.

Weeks later that night will be remembered as one of the most tragic in the history of the city, but also as the day that marked the start of the biggest outbreak of violence between aliens and humans. Countless lives from both sides would be lost as the seed for real hate towards humans was planted within the alien population, due to that horrifying scene. Right now, as the CEO watches Alex and other agents pull Supergirl upright, with a lot of effort as a result of her weakened state and subsequently separate both children, she feels nothing else but numbness, as if watching everything unfold from someone else’s perspective instead of her front row seat; her drones helped save many, but it was still not enough, she herself has suffered loss but what that child experienced today will mark the rest of their lives, particularly because Kaupe are empaths, she can’t even begin to grasp the fear and pain that child has suffered this night from the untimely death of their parent and sibling.

They haven’t found their other parent. Supergirl is being taken away from de scene, so they can tend to her wounds, the CEO is aware of the bullet that, despite everything, is still embedded in the Kryptonian. The bluest eyes she’s ever seen have never been so dim, colorless and empty, it’s a painful sight to watch, as if all hope and light had been squished from them, maybe it has. The green-eyed woman knows that the hero is blaming herself, the same way she is doing, for not being sharp minded enough to stop her mother. From the slump of the hero’s shoulders she can tell, somehow, that she’s berating herself for not being fast enough, for being injured, she wishes so badly she could tell Supergirl that she cannot predict people’s actions, no matter how hard she tries, and that humans, particularly Lillian, can be very cruel and adamant when fighting for their beliefs. It just plainly sucks. Furthermore, she needs the hero to know, however, that it isn’t her fault, no one is blaming her, no one is entitled to. She doesn’t know how she is so in tune with the hero, or how can she read her so properly, but she doesn’t have much time to dwell on it, as she has to make arrangements for Lillian to rot in prison forever. Sparing one last glance at the hero, emerald-green meets stormy-blue, with as much strength as the hero has, she seems broken, but staring into green she knows there is still a lot to fight for. As the hero is taken away Lena is now certain that Supergirl got her message, things will be alright