#this probably means something but right now it's nothing more than unorganized rambling so

[suitmana]

some of my favorite leb expressions from her first date!! i love how she smiles so much here and how they mean different things: she can go from cheeky little shit to slightly menacing i love that for her

[honoraryplebeian]

I am just so overwhelmed with thoughts of Majora’s Mask right now. I need to study, but if I don’t write some of them down I am going to explode. I’ve already cried a little this morning, and I can’t afford the distraction, so I’m just going to leave my unorganized ramblings below the cut so I can think on them later.

More than anything else, Majora’s Mask is a game about healing and grief and it’s relation to time and compassion. The whole premise for how the game begins is absolutely heart breaking. It picks up not very long after the events of Ocarina of Time, and there just must be so much turmoil Link is going through. Think of all the bonds he’s built, both as a child and an adult, after he met Zelda. Those are all gone. When he went back in time to before Zelda ever gave him the quest to find the Spiritual Stones all those connections were lost. He has all the memories still. All the memories of not only the burdens and hardships he went through to save everyone, but also those small moments when he could just interact with others and form bonds, something he did not have much of growing up since he was viewed as an outcast because of his lack of a fairy among the Kokiri (I have more thoughts on those interactions, but this is not the time or place). So, after years of basically only having one friend, he finally has many! And they respect him and look up to him and view him as one of their own! AND THAT’S ALL FUCKING GONE AND HE’S THE ONLY ONE WHO REMEMBERS IT!!! It makes me sound like a petulant child, but that’s not fair. He had to come to terms with the fact that he lost seven years of his life just to be “capable/worthy” of wielding the Master Sword and how his absence allowed for evil to take over, hurting everyone he had come to care about. And then he spends all that time trying to fix it. Trying to make it right and save whoever he can now. Pouring all that effort in, and for what?!?! So that he’s the only one who remembers?

How lonely that must be.

And the only person who would remember. The only one who was there every step of the way. Leaves. She just goes. Without a word. Floats off because she completed her mission from the Great Deku Tree. I mean, maybe she was dying after completing her mission. The game never goes into details about the relationship between fairies and the Kokiri. The Kokiri are immortal, so if fairies tasks are to be companions to the Kokiri it makes sense that they would remain forever, but that is all theoretical stuff and has no basis or proof behind it. And, even if that were true, how could Navi just leave without saying a word? How could she leave Link, after everything they’ve been through together, without at least saying goodbye?

And that’s where Majora’s Mask picks up, amidst that pain and grief of loneliness and knowledge that every trial he faced, although not for nothing since it did save the world, was effectively pointless. And so, with no one who needs his help (since that’s all he does isn’t it? Helps others? (I understand it’s a protagonist thing, but still)), he searches for Navi. 

And he only has two things to remind him of his past (and if I had the time and energy I could probably find something symbolic about the specific things, but not right now), which are Epona and the Ocarina of Time. And Skull Kid takes both of those. Not only that, but he takes away Link’s identity, something that had already been ever changing (Kokiri to Hylian, orphan to hero, etc). And now Link is stuck in a strange land with nothing of himself with a tentative ally who is so very similar to whom he is looking for, but none of it is quite right.

And I think that’s one of the first lessons of Majora’s Mask. Letting go. It’s also probably one of the most difficult parts of healing. I get, on a technical level, the reason they have many of the same items is because they recycled the data from Oot, but, putting that aside, Link has surrounded himself with some of the only things he still has from his past adventure that never happened. And I think it presents this idea of holding onto memories of everything he’s lost, everything that can never be. Friendships lost before they ever had the chance to form with Link as the only victim. But, you can’t hold onto that. There’s just no way you can live with that feeling forever (but with the Hero’s Shade in TP, I can’t help but wonder if he never truly recovered). And, I think him recovering those things is good! Later on. But that separation from the past, the letting go, allowed him to start forming new bonds with those around him. Tatl may not be Navi, but by journeying together they start to form a bond. And, ignoring recycled property, being surrounded by people he has no past or unachievable future with, Link isn’t constantly surrounded by memories of what can no longer be (for better or worse).

I don’t think it’s a mistake that the first two songs you learn are the Song of Time and the Song of Healing. And, I think the repetitive cycle of time in the game draws out another point. No matter how much you go back in time in the game, there are some things that will never change. The monkey will always be imprisoned. The Goron city will always be in mourning. Mikau will always die. etc. Even with the ability to control time and change things at his finger tips, even Link cannot stop all the tragedy in the world. And, even when he does change some things, he can’t help everyone. You can help Anju and Kafei, but then you can’t help Romani save the cows. But, I don’t think it’s meant to make you feel bad. Every person you help is grateful, and even the smallest act of kindness has large effects in the game. And that’s how we heal. Accepting and giving small acts of kindness that don’t necessarily fix everything, but it helps to ease the burden. Pain is lessened when shared. And, by the end of the game, you have shared your own pain (even if with the face of another) and eased other’s so much so that there is basically no one in Termina that you haven’t shared some moment with.

And, since Ikana in particular is on my mind, I don’t think it’s a mistake that this is not only the final dungeon (minus the Moon), but also the one you face primarily as a Hylian. Ikana is a kingdom long dead, and a curse in the temple combined with the inhabitants’ inability to move on, to let go, has caused them to remain even in death (...Hero’s Shade...). For me, directly concerning the Ikana Kingdom, there were two moments that always stood out to me. One was with Captain Keeta. He talked about how the war was long over, but his men stayed even beyond the veil of death just to await his orders. He tells you to tell his men that the war is over and they can rest. And so you do. And then they rest. But, what about Link? Ever the consummate soldier and protector. No matter what land he goes to, he always helps. Sure, searching for Navi was a personal mission, but that mission is quickly put aside to help the inhabitants of Termina. Does anyone ever tell Link he can rest? That the war is over and he doesn’t have to fight anymore?

The other scene in Ikana that always stuck with me is when you fight Igos du Ikana. When he tells you that the kingdom fell into ruin when friends could no longer trust and rely upon one another. And, it just makes me think, aside from Navi, who has Link ever really relied upon? The only person who was ever really there for him just kind of left. Ikana shows what happens when the grief and suffering takes over. A powerful kingdom, brought to its knees, and all but forgotten were it not for its monuments still standing...this was not originally where I was going with this, but Link never moved on, did he? The Hero’s Shade in Twilight Princess talks about dying with no one remembering his deeds and regretting not being able to pass on his techniques to anyone. Link died alone, forgotten, a relic of a bygone era, and filled with regret. Becoming a Stalfos, just like those of Ikana. (To be fair, Twilight Princess didn’t come out until years later, so I don’t think that was part of what they meant to say in Majora’s Mask, but still...). Putting that aside for a moment though. I think Ikana carries this idea of showing what happens when we can’t let go. When we let whatever drives us, be it duty, love, anger, war, etc. take over. And how can we let go when ther is no one around to ease the burden, to tell us, like Captain Keeta, that it’s ok to move on?

And, arguably, Skull Kid is in a similar situation as Link. The Giants were his friends, but then they just kind of left one day with no explanation, and then Skull Kid was all alone. He’s surrounded by people who can’t or won’t understand him. How long was he alone? The Giants were all but a legend to the people by the time you arrive. How long did he have to wait before Tatl and Tael found him? Obviously, Link and Skull Kid have very different personalities, but their situations end up somewhat similar. And, in the end, you don’t fight Skull Kid. You help him. Even the person who seemed like he would be the final villain, wasn’t. It was all Majora in the end. Perhaps showing how pain and grief can control a person, but , how, in the end, just because those things can make you lash out and act cruelly, it doesn’t necessarily make you a bad person.

This is all very jumbled, and mostly my own stream of consciousness thoughts I needed to get out, but, minus the addition of the Hero’s Shade in Twilight Princess, I think Majora’s Mask does such a fascinating job of exploring grief and pain and how our relationships with others help to ease that burden when we allow ourselves to trust a bit of ourselves with others.

[misssamericanaaa]

My “Analysis”/Headcanons on Chaddick’s Family

Note before I begin - I typed this up in my drafts and it was a very long, unorganized, and rambling post and when I pasted it into Google Docs to edit it, it was three full pages! So this is still long but hopefully more organized and not as rambling!

Just a warning this does have some spoilers for Quests for Glory and The Crystal of Time so if you maybe haven’t read them yet but are interested in the series maybe don’t read this! 

Ok, so I’m aware I’ve only been on this blog a solid 7 hours but I was off work today and my classes for the semester don’t start until next week so I had absolutely nothing to do today, and I ended up spending about 4 of those 7 hours going through various SGE tags here (tl;dr - I’ve read a lot of analysis and headcanons today) and I’m still processing most of it but there was one thing in particular in A Crystal of Time that really blew me away and I actually haven’t seen any thoughts on it here (I may just be missing them) so I thought I’d share my own!

Mistress Gremlaine

So can we talk about Mistress Gremlaine? The lady who works at the Foxwood School for Boys and briefly talked to Hort and Nicola before they ran past her to find Dean Brunhilde and is, so obviously to me, Chaddick’s mother? Which also makes Lady Gremlaine Chaddick’s aunt but I’ll get to that in a hot minute.

What first clued me in was the two boys who came out of the school and talked to their mother, the older one saying that his younger brother started crying in his history class because they were discussing Camelot’s knights “and well, you know”. That line was the kicker, in addition to their named being Caleb and Cedric, following the “C” naming scheme. Going back to Quest for Glory, when the obituary Lady Gremlaine showed Tedros said that Chaddick was survived by his parents and his brothers, aged 17 and 12 (which is what Hort and Nicola approximated their ages to be when they saw them). The older brother took his younger brother to the park to comfort him, and Mistress Gremlaine paid the gardener to keep an eye on them in the park, who said he didn’t blame her for doing so. I’ll be honest, it struck a chord with me. She’s already lost one son, and even though their kingdom is supposedly under Rhian’s protection, who could blame her for wanting to keep her remaining children safe?

I will say, however, that I am a little surprised that neither Hort nor Nicola picked up on this very obvious clue, especially seeing as Hort went to school with Chaddick for three years and even though Nicola didn’t know him, she was with the group when they found his body in Avalon and seems to be very sharp and picks up clues easily. Considering the older brother was only one year older than Chaddick (16 at the time of death), I’d assume there would be some familial resemblance, even with the younger brother as well. That paired with the interaction about Camelot’s knights makes me think that one of them would have figured it out. They’re both smart and I feel as though they tend to pick up on clues such as that. Then again, maybe they were preoccupied with not being caught and finding Dean Brunhilde.

Who Told His Family?

I also have some thoughts about his family in general, particularly with how they found out about his death. I seem to remember in QfG that his death was reported to the Camelot Courier by one of the mongooses (mongeese?) that killed the snakes inside the castle in Avalon. That isn’t necessarily important here though, more just me trying to remember a book I reread only last week.

So who told Chaddick’s family? Are they even aware of how he died? That he was killed by the Snake while on his quest as Tedros’ knight? I have three main theories, all of which are somewhat plausible.

Professor Dovey

Could it have been Dovey? I know she was dealing with some side stuff with her crystal ball but could she have taken a trip to Foxwood to inform his family about his death in person? I remember her being very upset about his death (rightfully so), and I do like the idea of Dovey honoring Chaddick by telling his family in person how their son died.

Lady Gremlaine

As much as I love that headcanon, another more likely possibility is that Lady Gremlaine informed them as soon as she got the news herself. Chaddickw as her nephew after all, and I would understand her wanting to tell his family herself, because she’s also family.

The One That Makes Me Really Sad

Ok the last, most heartbreaking, possibility is that they found out on their own, by reading his obituary in his newspaper. I remember that Dovey was upset it had been printed in the paper without her consent, meaning she may have had the intention of informing his family herself and never got the chance. My heart breaks at the idea of his mother or father reading the newspaper in the morning and suddenly coming across an obituary for their own son. Their own son that they presumably hadn’t seen in 3-4 years and is supposed to be off on a magical quest and now he’s dead and they don’t even know how.

Or it was one of his brothers, flipping through the paper looking for news of Camelot and then there’s their brother, except it’s his obituary and he’s dead. Their own brother, who they grew up playing and talking with and loving, who’s supposed to be a knight for the most legendary kingdom, the king of Camelot’s liege, and he’s dead.

Or they don’t even know and someone mentions it in passing, or asks for more information and ends up breaking the news to them.

(I did not know I had this many feelings about this topic, but whoops here we are.)

“Aunt Grisella”

Ok now it’s time to talk about Lady Gremlaine as Chaddick’s aunt, because that really came out of the blue for me. For a hot second, I was pretty horrified that Rhian and Japeth were his cousins but I suppose we dodged that bullet, although Evelyn Sader as their mother just feels random but that’s for another day.

She’s obviously his aunt because a) Chaddick’s mother is Mistress “Gremlaine” and b) Chaddick’s brothers referring to their “Aunt Grisella”. That’s said and done.

It also connected a scene from earlier that seemed a bit random to me, when Agatha, Sophie, and Tedros found the crystal of Chaddick with Lady Gremlaine before leaving for his quest. That just seemed off to me, so that’s somewhat cleared up. Tedros also mentioned that Lady Gremlaine had taken a liking to Chaddick, unlike Tedros and Agatha. Which brights us to our next point…

Was Chaddick aware she was his aunt? I would initially assume he knew, as his brothers knew Lady Gremlaine as their aunt, but it seems odd to me that he wouldn’t say anything to Tedros that his new steward just so happens to be Chaddick’s aunt. Tedros and Chaddick were supposed to be best friends, and Tedros is now his king, so it’s weird to me that he wouldn’t mention anything. There’s something off there and I really can’t put my finger on it, and probably won’t be able to unless there’s more information released in One True King.

Also, just me thinking out loud, if Chaddick knew Lady Gremlaine as his aunt, was he aware of her being King Arthur’s steward before he was born/when he was young? I’ll go out on a limb and assume that Lady Gremlaine was very private about her time at Camelot.

I’m also feeling that there was some mystery between her and Chaddick, because she was the one that told Tedros of his death and nothing came up in that time about being related to him. That may not have been something to mention at the time, but if Chaddick was aware she was his aunt I feel like it’s really odd that Tedros didn’t know. Also, that has to suck big time for Lady Gremlaine to learn of her nephew being murdered and then having to break the news to his king and supposed best friend and comfort Tedros, all while mourning herself.

I really feel like I’m missing a major piece of the puzzle with Lady Gremlaine being related to Chaddick but I feel like I’ve picked apart all of the relevant information we have at the time...I guess that’ll be something to hope for clarification in OTK!

I think that’s about all I have to say on this right now, but I also just want to say that I already been knew what I’m about to say but writing this post made me think of it a bit differently. Chaddick was killed way too soon. His death was a mere plot device and didn’t fit his character (well, what little we knew about him anyway). There was such great potential for character development and so many ‘what-ifs” in terms of being a part of The Camelot Years while being alive...he was done dirty. I wouldn’t say I mourn the character mainly (although I definitely still do), but I mourn what could have been and what a great character he would have made to the story. But that’s a topic that’s been covered very well by many people and also not the main point! I’m really just starting out on here and I just wanted to put my thoughts out there and in one place! :)

[jaeheekangisimportant]

1/4 As someone who went from walking into the secret endings thinking that the Rika hate was just classic sexism to really, really disliking her, I can assure you that a lot of the Rika hate... actually DOES come from people apologizing/excusing her actions. I know it's easy to chalk it up and say "no one defends her actions" but the victim blaming against V, equating an abuse victim (Saeran) to his abuser, and outright denying Rika's actions (like blinding V) is actually a /VERY/ real issue.

2/4 Espsecially when you have popular blogs brush off hating Rika for her atriciously abusive actions as just “ignorance on mental illness” and trivializing abuse victims who latch onto characters like Saeran and V because of shared trauma as just “jealous fangirls”. I’m not saying that V and Saeran did nothing wrong but at the end of the day, they are Rika’s abuse victims no matter how you slice it. So people are obviously going to be able to empathize with them more.

¾ It’s important to note that, despite male villains usually being more well recieved, this type of trivilizing treatment is treatment that people who despise abusive male characters actually don’t recieve. Because like… you obviously can’t be accused of being a sexist, jealous fangirl if you hate a male villain. Rika isn’t a bad villain at all; however the huge back lash she recieves isn’t simply because she’s female character in a fandom of Straight GirlsTM but rather because she’s a

4/4 very realistic portrayal (far more realistic than most male villains tbh) of an abuser in a fandom where people can easily use her gender as an excuse to wave off the hatred as just “misogyny” rather than an instinctual reaction to seeing a character who walks, talks, and acts like a real life abuser. There’s nothing wrong with liking Rika, but I think some perspective is necessary before just throwing your hands up in the air and going like “she’s a woman and we only like hot men. the end”.

Okay, I actually think there are a lot of really good points in here and I do agree with most of it, there are also a few things I would contend with, and also some things I’d like to discuss in more depth now that I have an excuse to, but before I do that I have two things to say that I think are very important for everyone, including myself, to keep in mind

There are a lot of layers to any discourse, and I can’t cover every angle of every discourse all the time. I do try to be fair and objective and not totally one-sided but I also want to be clear and honest about what my position is and I also try to stick to whatever has been brought up in the asks I get. If somebody sends me an ask that’s like “hey V fucked up and I wish people acknowledged that”, well then, that’s what I’m going to talk about and there’s not always a lot of room for me to give attention to the other side

It’s impossible for everyone to have interacted with every single member of a fandom and ultimately no one will have the exact same experience with a fandom. I can only talk about fandom issues through the lens of my experience and what I have seen and been exposed to, and that won’t necessarily be universal

The rest is going under a read more because this got unexpectedly rambly and I’m truly sorry for that. I’m also sorry that it’s so unorganized I kind of started with a solid idea of what I wanted to say but then every time I thought of some new thing I kind of just went with it

So, about Rika. Whenever people have brought up misogyny in relation to her, I have always tried to be careful to say that I don’t think Rika hate is always inherently misogynistic but that I do think that some anti-Rika sentiments are rooted in it. I probably could have made that more clear and I apologize if there was any confusion. I have frequently said that there are totally valid reasons to hate Rika which is why I try not to go after Rika haters too much. When I see people hating Rika for the simple fact that she’s important to the other characters, or when I see people using very gendered language to insult her, that’s the kind of stuff that I think can reasonably be criticized for misogyny. But like, obviously there are perfectly good reasons to hate Rika so I don’t take issue with hating her in itself, and I have tried to say that as often as possible. I don’t think it hurts to examine where Rika hate comes from and, more importantly, how it actually manifests (I’ll come back to this in a minute). I do agree that brushing off all Rika hate as just internalized misogyny is wrong and counterproductive and very trivializing, which is why I try not to fall back on that argument. But I also don’t think that misogyny is entirely irrelevant to the Discourse about her. I think that “Rika hate isn’t inherently misogynistic” and “a lot of people would treat Rika differently if she were male” are ideas that can coexist

As for what you said about people defending Rika, this relates to Point Number Two I made up there. Most of the people in the MysMe fandom that I still follow these days are Rika fans, and honestly I have never seen any of them try to say that Rika did nothing wrong. I don’t doubt that people have done that, and I also am glad that I’ve never seen people like that, or at least if I have it was rare enough that it wasn’t a significant problem for me and I could just forget it. I think I’ve made it clear enough that I think Rika did very wrong. I have consistently called her a villain, I have repeatedly said that I think she deserves punishment for her crimes, I have referred to both Saeran and V as victims of her abuse (and I’ll get to them soon too). Even if I do like Rika and consider her a tragic and sympathetic character, I am really not okay with people pretending Rika didn’t commit any of the crimes or abuse that she did. I didn’t talk about it because I haven’t seen it, but if I’m wrong and people are doing that then all I can say is YIKES @ those people and please don’t assume I’m one of them

The subject of mental illness is one that the fandom really handles terribly and honestly the game handles it pretty badly too. I’m very mentally ill myself and I actually recognize a lot of my symptoms and issues in Rika (violent intrusive thoughts, the feeling that there’s just something inherently wrong and bad in me and I’m only ever faking being good, paranoid and dramatic/emotional outbursts that even I know aren’tproportionate to the situation, self-harming, self-sabotage and suicidal ideation), so I was inclined to sympathize with Rika. It’s also why I was so viscerally disgusted by the way V talked about her mental illness. Having said all of that, I really don’t like people blaming a character’s abusive actions on mental illness, as if mentally ill people can’t help being bad and violent. Like, I know a lot people probably think they’re sympathizing with us, but you realize that exact same sentiment is used to demonize us, right? You’re not helping anyone by saying that mental illness is an excuse for bad behavior

People really need to learn that there is a difference between an explanation and an excuse. My anxiety flaring up might explain why I’m so irritable sometimes, but it doesn’t excuse me from snapping at well-meaning people. My depression getting really bad might explain why I isolate myself for weeks and sometimes months on end, but it doesn’t excuse me from completely shutting out and ignoring my friends and family who really just want to know why I haven’t spoken to them in so long. Mental illness can make me act out in a lot of ways that are bad for me and for other people, but I would never try to use it as an excuse and I would never want people to use it as excuse for me either. There are still very real consequences to my acting out, I still need to apologize and make up for them, and I still need to try my best to correct that kind of behavior no matter how easy it can be to fall into (and I do try, and I have gotten much better)

Rika’s mental illness and backstory does explain a lot of her behavior. It explains it, it doesn’t excuse it. She’s still very much accountable for her shitty actions. I do think that Rika could have been a very different person if she had gotten proper and intensive help with her mental health, and I wish she had gotten it. I don’t think she’s completely one-dimensionally evil and I do think that, at the very least, she had the potential to be a good person. I do think that she’s partially a victim of her circumstances. But, I also think that arguing about what a character could have been like under different circumstances is pretty moot and that’s why it’s another argument I try not to fall back on. It doesn’t really matter what characters could have been like. What matters is what they are actually are like and Rika is. Well. Rika

I think that there is a lot to criticize about the way Rika is written in the game, mostly having to do with the fact that she perpetuates the Depraved Bisexual trope, or that portraying a mentally ill character as villainous is always going to come with some issues, or the extremely frustrating fact that aside from Jaehee there are no female characters in the game that we’re really meant to like. I kind of wish we could discuss the game’s actual writing issues more because uuum there’s a lot of really bad and messed up stuff in here actually

Also, when I say things about how I think Rika hate is out of hand, it actually doesn’t have much to do with how people react to Rika as a character. It has more to do with people harassing Rika cosplayers at cons, leaving rude and aggressive comments on Rika fan art, attacking her fans even after they’ve made it clear that they only like Rika as a character/villain. That’s more the kind of stuff I’m thinking of when I say that Rika hate can be unnecessarily vicious, when it extends to actual real people who are mostly just minding their own business and trying to have fun with a character they like. I understand that Rika is controversial and for good reason, but come on guys, it’s not hard to have basic decency toward each other

Okay now let’s finally get to V and Saeran. I’ve never denied that they are victims of Rika’s abuse so let’s get that straight right away. I’ve also been careful to avoid equating their actions with Rika’s. I know I have repeatedly said that Rika has done worse things than both of them. And I do deeply sympathize V and Saeran. Almost everything I’ve ever said about Saeran has included a sentence that started with something like “I love Saeran and I sympathize with him but”. And yes I do in fact sympathize with V and I have mentioned this before, but since I’m also pretty harsh on V a lot of the time I suppose that point can get buried.

As a sidenote - and I’m not accusing you of doing this, anon, it’s just something I do want to address - I really don’t like it when people assume that someone must have no experience with abuse or trauma just because they may feel differently about something. Abuse and trauma are heavy subjects and of course people want to make sure you actually know what you’re talking about if you’re going to be talking about it, but like, no one should be required to disclose their personal abuse/trauma history just to prove that they’re qualified to have an opinion. I just… we really should be more careful about things like that

Back to V and Saeran (I’m really sorry I’m all over the place and I’m probably making less sense as I go), even if I do sympathize with them a lot, and even if I can relate to Saeran on a deeply personal level that I don’t much like to share with people, I don’t think it’s right to completely dismiss their wrongdoings. It’s possible for characters to be victims as well as victimizers and I would consider V, Saeran and Rika to be both those things, though obviously to vastly different degrees. 

Just because I understand and sympathize with V doesn’t mean I think it’s okay that he enabled Rika’s unhealthy behaviors, romanticized her mental illness, treated her like his art piece rather than as a person, and remained silent and complicit in her crimes. 

Just because I understand and sympathize with Saeran, doesn’t mean I think it’s okay that he attempts to kidnap MC, threatens violence against both her and Seven multiple times, and actually does shoot V. And I was actually being generous there by only counting things that he did in Seven’s route and the secret endings, aka the canon stuff that ultimately matters most. If I was going to count all the shit he pulls in other routes (blinding Yoosung in one eye, as an example), in bad endings (sexual assault, kidnapping, torture, murder, as examples), in Another Story and in his own damn route (kidnapping, sexually harassing MC and almost crossing the line to sexual assault, keeping her locked up and being verbally abusive with her), it would be asking me to excuse a lot more. I do both sympathize and empathize with Saeran! I really do! He’s one of my favorite characters ever and he means a lot to me, I can’t even begin to tell you how much!! But a lot of his antics are still inexcusable!!

And again we have to go back to my point about people’s fandom experiences being different from each other’s. I haven’t seen enough Rika defenders for it to be an issue for me, personally, but do you know what I have seen a lot of? And I mean, a lot of? People talking about how hot it would be if Saeran abused and/or raped them, people saying that they would be perfectly happy to let V treat them exactly how he treated Rika, people insisting that anyone who even tries to say that something V did was Not Good are terrible people, or that liking Rika at all in any capacity or even just showingneutrality toward her makes you a terrible person. That was the kind of stuff I saw a lot of back when I was really involved in fandom and that was the kind of stuff that made my experience in the fandom so deeply unpleasant. So, when I talk about fandom issues, that’s the kind of stuff that comes up for me, because those were the issues that I had. Maybe you’re lucky and you missed a lot of the shit I saw. Maybe I’m lucky for missing a lot of the shit people are spewing in defense of Rika. And maybe reducing it to an issue of “Straight Girls only care about hot guys” is not exactly right or fair of me, but… well, Straight Girls who only care about hot guys have been a significant source of annoyance for me in this fandom so when I’m feeling particularly salty they become a very easy target for it. Again, not saying that’s right or fair of me

More often than not what I’m trying to do with V and Rika discourse is get people to realize that the situation was not as black and white as they make it seem. Rika was not one-dimensionally evil and V was not wholly good, that’s all I ever want to get across about those two. And what I’m trying to do with Saeran discourse is… okay honestly I don’t even know what I’m trying to do here I actually wish I could just stay out of Saeran discourse entirely but if it comes up I guess I’ll talk about it. I am extremely uncomfortable with many of the more popular fandom interpretations of Saeran but he’s also too important to me for it to sour my opinion of him (since Ray’s route has come out it’s been a pretty close call tho let me tell you and I swear if this fandom ever does make me stop liking Saeran I’ll never forgive them). I really want nothing more than to stay out Saeran discourse but lately it keeps finding me. I’m honestly kind of tired of discourse-ing about V and Rika on theseblogs because at this point I’m running out of new things to say about eitherof them and I think I’ve already made my thoughts and feelings sufficientlyclear in numerous posts, I’m not sure what else I can do. But again, if people bring it up, I’ll usually be willing to talk about it. 

I don’t really care if people hate Rika, and I don’t really care if people love V, I only wish people wouldn’t oversimplify either character and I wish people were more open to accepting that their situation was a complex one where, even if one of them (Rika) is undeniably guiltier, neither person was 100% innocent

[cruelety-a]

really really unorganized ramble post because i can’t be bothered to make a proper headcanon like i planned to weeks ago but um... soft reminder that the shit that happened to ace is actually ? well known by people.   which doesn’t mean that people look at him and think “wow that’s the guy that killed his whole ass family” because that’s not at all what i mean and if that happened constantly in threads i’d be uncomfortable for reasons i don’t want 2 talk about right now but i just mean like. there’s theories out there because nobody knows why the fuck he burned his house down??? some of them are probably crazy shit and some are wrong (like a lot of people probably think that he was actually just a sociopath and hid it his entire life, pretended to be nice, etc., and then once high school was over he just killed his family) and some? are probably right even if they obviously don’t theorize the exact story. which makes sense i guess because everyone knew him as this nice kid who would literally never do anything to hurt anyone ever so when his house burned down and his body wasn’t found there, nobody understood why. there’s also probably people that think he’s dead, that he got killed or something before the fire even happened, and that he had nothing to do with it, because that makes more sense to them than him just... snapping like that. which he obviously didn’t but nobody knows that.

and the most accurate “theory” or story or whatever concerning all of that was written by a kid that ace knew his entire life, and at some point my lazy ass will actually write that post exactly as he did, but basically it would be him just explaining the type of person that ashton emerson always was, because even though ash and that kid weren’t close friends, they did grow up together, and so he knew that ashton loved his family, that he loved everyone, so the person he knew wouldn’t have hurt them unless he was tricked into doing it. and this is unimportant to anyone but me but he’d probably add some paragraph directed at ace like “if you’re still alive, and manage to find this, just know that me and so many others know you didn’t mean to do it, and i’m so sorry that you lost everything” or something and it makes me emo to think about, thanks

[littlefaerose]

brave, brave souls || edufaecation pt. 1

WHO: Marley Rose (ft. a Daffodil, a Peony, and Professor Larkspur)

WHEN: Tuesday, May 16th, 2017; 9am

WHERE: Aequitas School building, Rm. 307

WHAT: Word of caution - read the syllabus!

WARNING(S): sexuality discussion (minimal and kinda vague)

Three students. Just three. She had counted heads ever since she entered the classroom and took a modestly chosen seat somewhere in the middle of the sea of desks. One figure in the front row, sitting straight up like the sturdy trunk of a tree. One a row behind herself and just off to the right, fidgeting with a pencil in her hands. And then there was Marley herself, fingers drumming on her table as her eyes flickered down every so often to skim over the syllabus she’d pulled out.

For a required class, she’d expected far more seats to be filled. Perhaps there weren’t as many first year fae as she’d thought?

Her eyes scanned the room again, this time looking for sign of anything that would indicate the subject matter of their lessons for the next six weeks. But the room looked like most of the rooms in Aequitas did - a expansive wall covered in windows that let in the warm sunshine, five rows of evenly lined up desks, a sturdy desk set at the front of the room where their professor’s usually sat, a dusty green chalkboard taking over the wall behind it, posters touting the benefit of assimilation (she used to roll her eyes at such things - she probably still should, all things considered). There was nothing out of the ordinary that would suggest that they would be discussing anything other than the basics of functioning within Commons society.

With an inward chuckle, she wondered if the two girls in the room with her even knew what they were in for.

A beat later, the door swung open and in rushed a harried looking woman, her arms weighed down with an assortment of bags and books. 

��Hello, hello! Sorry I’m late,’ she greeted, though she had yet to actually acknowledge them with a look. Rather she seemed intent on trying to find a place to stow away her belongings. She plopped them unceremoniously onto the desk, blowing a stray curl of red hair out of her face. ‘Aether and Earth Mother, you would think that the school would be kind enough to notify the professor of a last minute classroom change BEFORE the first day of class. But here we are, late on the first day of class, and unorganized to boot-’

The figure in the front seat cleared her throat, and that seemed to halt their professor’s rambling complaint as she finally looked up from digging around in her bags. Light blue eyes flitted between the three of them.

‘Three? Is that all?’ she asked.

‘Yes, ma’am,’ the figure up front answered. ‘The others are boycotting the class. They say it goes against their culture and their spiritual beliefs.’

‘And yet, here you three are,’ their professor regarded them, something almost akin to amusement in the lilt of her voice. ‘No matter. They’ll receive an incomplete grade and deal with the consequences, I’m sure. But for now, three will work just fine.’

She turned away from the mess and gathered her abundance of red curls in her hands, twisting them into what could be loosely termed a ‘bun’, securing it with a pencil before grabbing a piece of chalk to start writing across the board.

‘My name is Professor Meredith Larkspur, and this is Fae Health Education,’ she explained. ‘Formally known as Fae Sexual Education but as you can see, attendance went down with the previous choice of course title.’ Her smile was wry as she turned back around to face them. The look on her face shifted back to amusement almost immediately. Marley understood why when she turned around to see the shocked and almost scandalized look on the girl who sat in the row behind her.

‘And judging from the varying reactions in the room and the low student count this summer, I’m guessing you either never read the syllabus or you’re just a brave, brave soul for even coming here,’ Professor Larkspur mused. She moved back to her desk, digging through one of her bags to pull out a leaflet of paper. ‘I’d suggest that those of you who haven’t read the syllabus do so after class today.’

There was a rustling behind her, and Professor Larkspur then chimed in, ‘Yes, Miss...?’

‘Peony,’ the girl answered. ‘Laura Peony. I thought this class was going to be about actual fae health issues. Like, how to prevent things like Itchy Root. Or how to better survive through wintertime.’

‘We will cover those, briefly,’ Professor Larkspur nodded. ‘But the educational board created this course specifically to address issues of sexuality and sexual health among the fae.’

The Peony stammered a bit, seemingly struggling to come up with some kind of retort.

‘It’s alright to embarrassed. Or shocked. Or outraged, even,’ their professor chuckled. ‘It’s a taboo subject. Fae simply don’t talk about these things - the majority assume there’s only one true orientation among them, only one option, and therefore nothing further to discuss. That’s simply not true.’

Marley turned her attention away from the flustered Peony to face their professor, raising her hand next.

‘Yes, Miss?’

“Marley Rose,” she introduced herself, shifting just a little nervously in her seat. “I’ve skimmed through the syllabus but it seems a little vague. What exactly will we be learning here?”

Professor Larkspur smiled. ‘Everything,’ she answered simply at first. She moved to stand in front of her desk, leaning back against it. ‘And by that, I mean everything that has been withheld from you, for however long, regarding your bodies, your sexuality, and how to reconcile this with being a fae. While we respect every individual’s decision how to treat or use their body, we also want you to be informed on all of the issues. All of the options.’

She regarded the class again, something indiscernible crossing her facial features. Marley thought maybe it was concern. Worry. But the look vanished just as quickly as it came, replaced with another smile.

‘I won’t spoil the whole course for you. We have class twice a week for the next six weeks, plenty of time to cover everything. But what I will tell you is this - no matter what is waiting outside of these walls, outside of these classroom hours... this is a safe space. It’s okay to ask questions. It’s okay to be embarrassed. Or scared. Or offended. It’s okay to laugh or think that what we’re discussing is silly, or pointless. All I ask of you is to keep an open mind and listen. Allow your past and present views to be challenged. And at the risk of sounding cheesy - try to have fun in the process.’

The girl in the front row raised her hand. ‘Nerissa Daffodil,’ she introduced herself without even waiting to be called on. 

(Ugh, daffodils, the thought briefly crossed Marley’s mind.)

‘Yes, Miss Daffodil, go ahead,’ Professor Larkspur said.

‘Are you going to make us put condoms on cucumbers and bananas like they do in the Commons movies?’

Marley couldn’t resist giggling over that. If she didn’t know any better, the Daffodil fae was having a hard time holding back a laugh as well.

‘Yes, later in the course, but no more spoilers,’ Professor Larkspur chuckled, shaking her head as she moved back to the chalkboard. ‘Today though, let’s just try to keep it simple. Everyone pull out a notebook or a piece of paper and write down these terms...’