#this postcard tells you where we've been fic

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

📚📚📚📚📚📚📚📚📚

✉️✉️✉️✉️✉️✉️✉️

🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿

I have literally ❤️❤️loved❤️❤️ reading all your fics

🌊🌊🌊🌊

🩸🩸🩸🩸

🌌🌌🌌

Ahhh thank you so much! ❤️❤️

AND YES I LOVE A CHALLENGE.

Okay all brand spanking new sentence...

27 for 📚:

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As far as siblings go, it's a lot different than Chim and Albert or Maddie and Buck. Ravi doesn’t know much about Eddie and his sisters, but he thinks it’s probably different than that, too. In fact, there’s no one he knows who can exactly relate to it. And that’s always made him feel a little lonely. How else is he supposed to feel, when the whole world seems to treat a sibling like an automatic best friend or the person you’re supposed to trust beyond all others? Isn’t brotherhood, as a concept, a bond held above most others? 

It’s just not like that with Ravi and Anil. 

Ravi is only the eldest child by eighteen months. Not a huge age difference to begin with, and maybe once upon a time, Ravi would have felt some claim to the title of older brother. But then he spent much longer than eighteen months in a sort of suspended animation, while Anil’s life went on as planned. Or, maybe not as planned, but as far more normal than anything Ravi would get to experience. Eventually, they no longer resembled older and younger, but two children with similar faces from alien planets. There are some craters, once formed, that can never be filled. 

Ravi doesn’t hate Anil. He would like to, but he doesn’t. Though, he can’t quite say he loves him, either. He thinks his brother is far more deserving of the former than the latter, but the latter is far more in Ravi’s nature. So, instead, Ravi is stuck in this strange in-between place. He combats this purgatory by resolving to think of him as little as possible and seeing him only when necessary. He keeps him behind the closed pages of a dusty, ignored book. 

And it’s better for everyone that way. Really, it is. 

However, there is an inherent flaw with Ravi’s strategy. A disadvantage he will never be able to overcome. 

When you are the sibling wronged in quiet, when you are the sibling that deviates from what was expected of you, and who always seems to be the one making things difficult, and your younger brother is charismatic and charming, you are the problem.

Ravi is always the problem. 

And so he never wanted Anil to meet the 118.

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21 for ✉️:

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Eddie flips over one of the postcards and sees it. Something that surprises him, yet somehow makes a whole lot of sense. Buck’s handwriting. Buck’s name. And, at the top, naturally, the greeting, ‘Dear, Christopher.’

“What the…” Eddie trails off, baffled. 

He doesn’t understand. Buck has never mentioned any post cards. Neither has Chris. When did he write to him? He sorts through them. The address on each card is to Eddie’s parents’ house in El Paso. The dates are scattered across the summer. How did Eddie not know this was going on? Why wouldn’t Buck tell him? 

Eddie feels equal parts confused and betrayed; like Buck has kept a secret from him about his own kid. Except, that doesn’t really seem like Buck at all. Buck, who spent the whole summer supporting Eddie. Buck, who probably ruined a relationship with actual potential by spending so much time making sure Eddie never felt alone. That Buck wouldn’t do anything behind Eddie’s back when it comes to Chris. 

In search of an explanation for his bewilderment, Eddie commits a second violation of his son’s privacy. 

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27 for 🌿:

@goldenbcnes tagging you here!

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And the thing is, Howie is right. She should just call Evan. She could call him right now and ask if they can have a second take at that conversation so she can explain herself better and he can perhaps not level unfair accusations she suspects he doesn’t really mean. 

Except she knows she’s not going to do that. 

Her reasoning is a mixture of flaws of her own nature and self-righteous anger. Historically, Maddie has never been good at facing conflict head on. She’s like a dog that knows it isn’t scary, that knows it doesn’t have a lot of bite; she will try avoidance, appeasement, and running, before she tries anything else. Then there’s the anger. 

One time, at the women’s group in Boston, a therapist told Maddie that guilt and anger coexist in a vicious cycle. They feed each other. Guilt is such a horrid emotion to process; it’s painful and selfish and often challenges self perception. Anger is an easier alternative to guilt. It’s the refuge that takes the introspection off oneself in favor of fury. And yet, anger is such a horrid, consuming emotion, too. Too much anger is liable to make someone feel guilty, in its own time, if the source of the anger isn’t entirely to blame. 

Maddie is self-aware enough to feel that wheel spinning in her now. She feels badly about how that went. She is angry at Buck. She knows some of her anger should be directed inward. She feels guilt at her own anger. Around and around and around again. It’s enough to give her motion sickness. 

But Maddie has let guilt win out so many times in her life. It has been her predominant driver for so many decades of her life. She may be doing a hell of a lot better now than when she was younger, but the conflict still rattles her. 

This time, she doesn’t choose guilt.  “Evan can call me.”

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12 for 🌊:

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Beers at an arcade. Dinner at an upscale restaurant halfway to Houston that Buck swears is worth the drive. He’s right. Every minute of it feels easy, feels right. It feels like exactly where Eddie has been waiting to return to. 

How do you tell someone on your second date, just how badly you’ve missed them?

Eventually, it all leads back to where it began. Well, not exactly where it began. Not at the bar. Buck has made it clear that if they show up together there, his sister will tease him - not for Eddie being a man, but simply because he’s easy to tease. They’re holding off on that, for now. So, it ends up where it really began.

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12 for 🩸:

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Eddie is frightened. 

Of himself. Of what’s happening to him. Of the gaps in his memory. 

If time has passed, has someone contacted Christopher? Hello, we’re sorry to tell you your father put the only other parent figure in your life in the hospital, murdered his captain brutally, and fled both scenes. 

Have they told him Eddie is a monster?  He doesn’t know what to do. He doesn’t have anything he needs to survive. He’s completely alone. His brain is foggy and sore, like whatever fever he had on the night Kim killed him has never really left. He feels like someone has deposited him in some horrible labyrinth, fed him bath salts, and given him no plausible path to escape. But Eddie has to escape.

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9 for 🌌:

Tagging @steadfastsaturnsrings here!

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Buck sighs. “I guess I don’t understand. Not like you’ve given me much of a chance to understand. But I haven't been where you are, Eddie. Before, I… I really didn’t know.”

Eddie swallows throat feeling like it’s been battered by salt water and sand. 

“But you know me,” Buck continues. “You know me better than anyone, Eddie. So you had to know, if you told me you needed time and space, that I would have given it to you.”

[buddierecs]

post season 7 buddie fics

in honour of season 8 coming out in a few days, here is a list of fics that have been released over the hiatus set post season 7. all of these are general audience, teen and up or not rated (no smut) make sure to kudos/comment on these amazing works :)

ice cream before dinner (my beloved) by: cloudydaisies "gerrard messes with the team's schedules and eddie 'i just drove my son to flee the state' diaz is the only option to watch mara and jee-yun after school on tuesdays, which, shouldn't be a problem at all, right?" word count: 58k important tags: girl!uncle eddie, fluff, friends to lovers, love confessions, feelings realisation, minor buck/tommy, family feels take me home (to my heart) by: literalmetaphor "eddie and maddie end up in an impossible situation." word count: 20k important tags: car accidents, injury, hurt!eddie diaz, hurt!maddie han, maddie & eddie friendship, worried!evan buckley, getting together it's always on the tip of my tongue by: allyasavedtheday "eddie diaz vs the great romance paradigm." word count: 17k important tags: character study, therapy, emotional hurt/comfort, falling in love, demisexual!eddie diaz all my little words by: youbetsya "eddie: did you just send me an email?? buck: yeah lol eddie: why… i dont think you’ve ever emailed me actual words before. just stuff to print when your printer is broken buck: did you read it? eddie: Not yet. too busy trying to figure out why the fuck you’re emailing me buck: just read it dude 🙄" word count: 11k important tags: texting, idiots in love, getting together, eddie diaz mustache three strikes and you're out by: eightpackdiaz "buck's soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend chooses to ignore him every time the kiss cam points in their direction. eddie does the opposite" word count: 3.1k important tags: minor buck/tommy, cheating, kiss him, jealous!eddie diaz, tommy kinard bashing, first kiss a honey shade of blue by: hattalove "one toddler, two conversations, and so many missed opportunities for buck to act like a guy not in love with his best friend." word count: 8k important tags: getting together, pining!evan buckley, first kiss catatonia by: dqstcrdly "buck and eddie get into a car accident, buck thinks eddie is dead, and goes catatonic about it." word count: 13k important tags: car accidents, near death experiences, love confessions, angst, hurt/comfort, getting together, tommy kinard bashing knowing me, knowing you by: kiwibuckley "five times eddie was the better (boy)friend, and the one time he was the boyfriend" word count: 10k important tags: 5+1 things, friends to lovers, getting together, minor buck/tommy, tommy kinard bashing, eddie diaz loves evan buckley, petty!eddie diaz, pining sweet talk by: daisies_and_briars "eddie asks to crash at the loft while christopher is gone, struggling to be on his own. only problem? there's only one bed, and no couch." word count: 6.5k important tags: there was only one bed, minor buck/tommy, healing, couch theory this postcard tells you where we've been by: daisies_and_briars "eddie finds a collection of postcards buck sent to chris over his summer in el paso." word count: 3.5k important tags: getting together, first kiss, fluff, christopher diaz has two dads glass on the pavement under my shoe by: doitgently "buck takes a great big tumble. like always, eddie is right behind him." word count: 9.4k important tags: near death experience, major character injury, love confessions, angst with happy ending you'd have to stop the world (just to stop the feeling) by: wenttoafortuneteller "the eddie diaz gay realization arc we all deserve. in which bobby puts some pieces together, chimney sees something he shouldn’t, hen gets to have a conversation she’s been waiting to have for years, and buck can’t understand why his best friend is avoiding him." word count: 23k important tags: character study, catholic guilt, pre-relationship, self-discovery, self-acceptance, feelings realisation hope it hurts, burns & you finally grieve me by: dylaesthetics "eddie spontaneously visits a church and things fall into place." word count: 4.8k important tags: character study, religious guilt, angst, friends to lovers, getting together

[epicbuddieficrecs]

Weekly Recap | July 1st-14th 2024

Work has been kicking my ass. Can't wait for my vacation! Hope you're all doing well!!

Complete

what if he's written "mine" on my upper thigh? by heartbeatdiaz/ @loserdiaz (Fanart, PWP | <1K | Explicit): “I'm gonna ride you,” Eddie says, flicking his wrist. “Okay, baby?” When Eddie straddles Buck's lap and sinks down, his eyes closed, he doesn’t fuck himself down onto Buck like he normally would— he wants to drag it out, tease his boyfriend untill he's a whimpering mess underneath him.

Sparks Fly by Inell/ @inell (Reporter Buck AU | <1K | Teen): Eddie meets his match when reporter Buck shadows the 118

Seeing Stars by Inell (Astronauts AU | <1K | Teen): Buck and Eddie are best friends who have been pining for a while when Buck finally makes a move.

when it all melts down by bucksclipboard/ @excuseme-greentea (Post-S7, Getting Together | 2K | Teen): Buck thinks a beach day is the perfect distraction from an empty house and a lack of summer plans. Eddie thinks if Buck walks out of the ocean like a Greek god one more time, he might just lose his mind. or: there’s only one cure for a frozen tongue after too much ice cream

The Moment is Here by Inell (Post-S7, Getting Together | 2K | Teen): Eddie has been in love with Buck for longer than he cares to remember but he’s been scared to jeopardize their friendship. Lucky for him, Buck is feeling brave this morning.

i'll never give you away ('cause i've already made that mistake) by Iover_of_mine (I_almost_do)/ @lover-of-mine (Post-S7, Love Confessions | 3K | General): Buck almost kissed Eddie at the bachelor party and forgot about it. Until he remembered.

this postcard tells you where we've been by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Post-S7 | 3K | General): Eddie finds a collection of postcards Buck sent to Chris over his summer in El Paso.

pauses, then says you're my best friend (you knew what it was) by instantcaramel/ @buddiekinard (Social Media Fic, Post-S7 | 4K | General): buck drags eddie to a taylor swift concert. wackiness ensues.

Cursebreaker by Inell/ @inell (Post-S7, First Date | 4K | Teen): Buck is nervous about his apparent dating curse ruining his first date with Eddie. Lucky for him, Eddie doesn’t believe in curses.

A Love As True As Mine by Inell (Post-7x10: All Fall Down, Getting Together | 4K | Teen): After Buck gets injured during a call, he overcomes some personal issues and ideas of love with Eddie’s help.

One Look at You by Inell (Post-S7, Getting Together | 4K | Teen): Eddie and Buck are enjoying a night out when lines get blurred and feelings are finally admitted.

And There You Were by Inell (Post-S7, Getting Together, Fluff | 4K | Teen): After admitting their feelings for each other and spending the night together, Eddie wakes up to find Buck in the kitchen and decides to distract him. 

I Can See Clearly Now by Inell (Post-S7, Getting Together | 5K | Teen): During a simple call, Buck finds himself locked in a lab after a possible exposure with Eddie and the rest of his team on the other side of the glass doors.

Pumpkin by JJK/ @trenchcoatsandtimetravel (Canon Divergent, Dad Buck | 5K | General): “You were just telling us about your dog, Pumpkin. Three years old. You’re taking her to the park this weekend?” And, oh. Buck wanted to laugh. Hen thought Pumpkin was a dog. He did laugh; loud and wheezing. “Right, you’re right. Pumpkin. How could I forget?” Buck wiped a tear from his eye. He didn’t know why it was so funny, maybe he had bumped his head a little, but for some reason, Hen mistaking his three-year-old daughter for a dog was just about the funniest thing he’d ever heard.

🔥 bark like you want it by colonoscopys/ @colonoscopys (Soulmates AU, Crack | 7K | General): The first time Eddie Diaz hears his soulmate’s voice, he hears him say Damn, that’s a nice ass.

🔥 the book of love by colonoscopys (Time Loop, Getting Together | 8K | General): It was a pretty regular day. He had an eight hour shift the day before, slept in a little bit, ate dry toast and drank a black coffee before dropping Chris off at physical therapy for an hour. If he had known he was gonna die, he would have sprung for the hashbrowns in the freezer.

🔥 trying hard not to act a fool by arcanaphora (Didn't Know They Were Dating, Post-S7 | 10K | Teen): Or: 5 times Eddie jokes to Buck about marrying him + 1 time where Buck doesn't think it's very funny anymore

The heat of the moment by JamesPearce911/ @diazsdimples (PWP | 10K | Explicit): Tired and frustrated after a long shift, Buck and Eddie take an impromptu trip to the sauna. Only problem is, it's a nude sauna, which Buck didn't notice when he booked them in. Thankfully the boys handle the slip up gracefully, and possible break a few public sex laws in the process.

What if this storm ends? by JJK / @trenchcoatsandtimetravel (Post-6x12: Recovery, Getting Together | 11K | Teen): After the lightning strike, Buck grapples with the fact that he's still alive, that he's hopelessly in love with Eddie, and that more than anything he wishes Eddie and Christopher could be his family. Too bad Eddie doesn't feel the same way, right? But then Buck chaperones Christopher's school trip and an injury shakes things up.

🔥 if i said you could never touch me by marviless/ @marviless (Established Buddie | 15K | Mature): “Buck. What’s wrong?” Buck closes his eyes, then blinks them open. “Nothing,” he says, because he doesn’t know how to tell the truth. He doesn’t know what the truth even is. “Everything’s, uh—everything’s fine. I just—” he chews on his lip. “I was just thinking that, uh, maybe we shouldn’t go any further tonight? You know, not with Christopher in the house.”

What is Love For $2000? by fayevian/ @fayevian (Canon Divergent, Jeopardy Contestant!Buck | 17K | Mature): One night when Eddie can't sleep, he discovers the hottest Jeopardy contestant of all time (objectively). With the "help" of his team and his fairly good working knowledge of Twitter, they devise a plan to get Evan (from Jeopardy) to slide into Eddie's DMs. It works surprisingly well.

🔥 keeping score by arcanaphora (Post-S7, Fake Relationship | 23K | Mature): After getting dumped, Buck is left with two tickets to a weeklong cruise. Eddie steps in to support a friend in need, but complications arise when his friend becomes his fake husband. All's fair in love, war, and trivia.

🔥 Steal My Sunshine by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Altered Memories | 30K | Mature): Memories hazy and unreliable, Eddie Diaz wakes up every morning in a house at the end of a cul de sac, goes to his office job at a petroleum engineering company, and comes home to his wife and son. But something is missing, and the more Eddie begins to put the pieces together, the stranger the predicament he finds himself in. 

🔥Anywhere I Want, Just Not Home series by Daisies_and_Briars

Pennsylvania Under Me (Future Fic, Buckley Family | 22K | Teen): When unexpected circumstances require Buck to travel back to Hershey for the first time in over a decade, Eddie and Chris are right by his side. A Lot Like You (Future Fic, Buck&Bobby | 14K | General): The dynamics between everyone change when Buck and Eddie have another child and Bobby moves on from the 118. I Hold It Like a Grudge (Buck&Maddie, Future Fic | 11K | Teen): Buck and Maddie come into unexpected and unwanted conflict when their parents meet Buck's son for the first time, by surprise, when he is under Maddie's care.

WIP

The Smutty Ones by Tizniz/ @tizniz (PWP | 56/? | 23K | Explicit): A collection of smutty Buddie drabbles.

E & E: A Buddie Drabble Collection by Tizniz (Prompt fic | 105/? | 22K | General): A collection of drabbles for Buck and Eddie.

It's Me That He's Always Choosing by I_still_dont_understand_13/ @dangerpronebuddie (Prompt fic | 20/? | 8K | Explicit): A collection of smut prompts originally posted on tumblr.

🔥 boys, when my baby found me by nondz (pinkjook) (Post-S7, Presumed Dead Eddie | 2/3 | 17K | Explicit): “It just feels… I don’t know. I feel like I’m back to being an old version of me. Like I’m— fucking— Buck 2.0 again. I can’t be good to him if I’m Buck 2.0. I know that.” Eddie frowns. “I first met you when you were Buck 2.0. And you were good to me.” Or: three months later, things are mostly back to normal. And then there's an accident.

🔥 Held Up a Lightning Rod (Wonder Why I'm Struck) by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Not A Firefighter Eddie, Sugar Baby Buck | 10/22 | 46K | Explicit): When Eddie Diaz stumbles his way into money, he finds himself one of the most eligible bachelors in Los Angeles - to his dismay. He needs a way to get people off his back without confessing his messy marital situation, and Shannon's still not answering his calls, so he caves to a friend's suggestion: hire someone to pretend to be his partner. Enter Evan "Buck" Buckley: sugar baby, fire fighter, and the man about to turn Eddie's world upside down.

🔥 If You Can Make the Music by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon Divergent, | 3/5 | 7K | Mature): Spin-off Sequel to Evan Buckley & the Coma-Verse of Madness - Chapter 5 (Seaside): A year after a whirlwind two week love affair with bartender Buck in Galveston, Texas, Eddie Diaz finds himself coincidentally relocating to the area. But when he attempts to reconnect with Buck, he's in for an unfortunate surprise. (Part 3 of Coma-Verse)

🔥 you're almost home (i've been waiting for you to come in) by sibylsleaves/ @sibylsleaves (Post-S5, Canon Divergent - Roommates, Getting Together | 3/5 | 18K | Mature): Buck moves in. Eddie comes out. Things get a little messy.

🔥 Long Death by Daisies_and_Briars (Post-S7, Vampire AU | 5/10 | 17K | Explicit): In the summer of 2024, a never before seen form of vampirism breaks out in Los Angeles. Just as Eddie is about to get his son back. Six months later, Buck's life is permanently changed.

🔥 Any Other Way by Daisies_and_Briars (Canon Divergent, S2 | 14/19 | 71K | Mature): In a switcheroo alternate universe, Buck spends young adulthood in the military, while Eddie, who has no idea Christopher exists, spends his twenties messing around, finally enjoying freedom away from his family’s expectations. When they both end up in Los Angeles, at the 118, some things are different, and others will be the same in any universe.

🔥 Things We're All Too Young to Know by Daisies_and_Briar (Canon S1-S6, Divergent Post-S6 | 130/? | 408K | Mature): This is a love story. Even if it doesn’t always look like it. Even if it doesn’t always feel like it. A look back on Eddie and Buck's lives up to now, and what led them to each other, interpreted from the current 9-1-1 canon.

[sparkagrace]

It is boiling hot, that I am melting. It seems fitting as I read some very hot fics this month too! PHEW! Again, it seems to be an equal split between Stucky and Buddie fics so putting them both here as I think the venn diagram for both ships is pretty close.

july

250,064 words read over 33 fics (average of 7,578 words per fic, not including wips) 📈 37.6% from June

current total for the year: 2,040,511 words

a handful of fic recs

mcu

His Right Hand Slip by @hansbekhart stucky | E | 3.1k

Mark My Words by @buckybleeds shrunkyclunks | E | 27k

Wanna do it right, but not right now by @dharmasharks stucky | E | 3.9k

you will always be my favorite form of loving by @thiccbuckybarnesfic stucky | E | 28.4k

How are you so burnt (when you're barely on fire) by @dreamsinthewitchouse blackhill | E | 4.8k

buck x eddie

i'm down on my knees (i wanna take you there) by @burnthatbridge buddie | E | 5k

dreaming, given a name by colonoscopys buddie | E | 8.5k

this postcard tells you where we've been by Daisies_and_Briars buddie | G | 3.5k

give me a chance (it's worth taking) by beartowns buddie | T | 7.3k

how could you not know (all this time) by deadsapphicsociety buddie | M | 5.7k

some author recs

@buick118 (detectivemeer) recs: in the sun or in the shade [buddie | 3.5k], yes god don't speak [buddie | 3.7k]

@coldbam recs: a thorough guide [buddie | 2.8k], mixed message [buddie, 2.6k]

@sibylsleaves recs: we're gonna need some land between our bodies [buddie | 9k], honey hold my hand, you like making we wait for it [buddie | 4.2k]

mcwho recs: open book [stucky | 3.7k], the truth will set you free (but first it'll piss you off) [stucky | 3.6k], ride in tandem [stucky | 2.5k]

currently streaming fics started this month

i don't wanna move on by odysseus_calls buddie | T | 2/4

fics finished this month

The Shield Bearer by @gfawkesphoenixchokingonashes stucky | E | 23.6k

be kind, rewind older fics or re-reads

Your voice is all I hear somehow, calling out winter by @chaosmanor stucky | E | 13.6k

In the Heartlands by claudia_flies stucky | E | 4.1k

Catfish by L1av (@buckmebxrnes) stucky | E | 28.4k

[invisibleraven]

Mashup prompt: everyone knows/mistaken for couple + vacation fic, rulie

"Boys suck," Julie said as she slumped back onto her couch, blowing the hair out of her face.

"Thanks," Reggie said from the other side of the couch where he was reading.

"Not you, obviously. But in general, boys suck."

Reggie lowered his book, marking his page and setting it aside. "Why, pray tell do all members of my gender suck?"

"So you remember Tyson?" Julie asked, and when Reggie screwed up his face in disgust, she took that as a yes and plowed on. "Well I made plans for us to take a mini vacay for the long weekend, just up the coast to nice inn, small scenic town, get away from it all for a few days. Only for him to tell me he made plans with his girlfriend this weekend."

"Bastard," Reggie muttered.

"Yeah, that was one of the words I used on him. Anyways, boys suck and now I'm stuck with all these reservations I can't cancel. I'd give them to Flynn but she and Carrie already had plans, Alex and Willie are both working, and Luke would just try to use it as a song writing getaway."

"Well you didn't ask me," Reggie said. "I'm free this weekend, the two of us could go, have a BFF weekend, get away from it all and talk about the suckage of boys that are not in a band with us."

"Really?" Julie saw Reggie nod and threw herself into his arms. "You are the best!"

"And don't you forget it!" Reggie stated. He brushed back the curls from her face, gazing down at her softly and then shook himself internally. "Well then, let's get packing!" he said, dislodging himself from her embrace and racing off to his room.

~

Reggie swore he could feel the tension bleeding from his pores and far away as they pulled up to the quaint little inn Julie had booked. Honestly the whole town looked like it belonged on a postcard, and Reggie was already wishing they could stay forever. He whistled at the ivy creeping up the inn, the ripples off the small lake, the scent off horses in the air from the small barn off to the side. "Yeah, this place would have been wasted on Tyson."

Julie came over, similarly awed, and slipped her arm through his. "Well then it's a good thing I'm here with you then. Come on, let's check in."

Reggie approached the counter, letting Julie take in the small sitting room, complete with ornate fireplace, though he doubted it saw much use here in California. "Checking in for Molina?"

The employee smiling, typing away at the computer, and then slid two keys across the counter. "Here you go Mr. Molina, please let us know if you need anything."

Reggie flushed at that, "Oh, I... um... thank you." He rushed off to Julie at that, though she was ignorant as to why he was so red in the face, and they traipsed upstairs to find their room. Only to stop as they opened the door, the large, singular bed staring them in the face.

"Oh, Reggie, I can go ask for another room, I'm sorry," Julie stated.

Reggie took in her crestfallen expression, and though he knew it was probably a bad idea to share a bed with Julie for a multitude of reasons, pushed those thoughts aside. "Nah, it's okay. I mean, we've snuggled together lots at band sleepovers, this isn't much different. Come on, I wanna go check out the horses!"

~

Julie smiled as she watched Reggie trot around the paddock, clearly in his glee. The man was made to be a cowboy, and Julie was secretly thrilled that she got to let him live out this small little dream, and resolved to take him to a dude ranch for his next birthday.

"You ready to join your boyfriend sweetheart?" the instructor asked as they handed her the reigns.

Julie felt heat creeping to her ears at that. "Oh no, he's... um, sure. Ready." She figured that since everyone came here as couples, the staff wouldn't assume otherwise, and she decided to let it go. Why embarrass the staff for a misplaced assumption? Honestly she would be lucky to have a guy like Reggie as hers, but she knew they were nothing more than good friends. She nudged her horse forward, finally matching Reggie's pace and his grin widened as he caught sight of her.

"Hey darlin', isn't this the best?" Julie prayed that Reggie didn't notice how she flushed an shivered at the endearment, his natural twang having a decidedly arousing effect on her.

"It is nice, though don't ask me to go any faster." Reggie gave her a small smile at that, extending one hand to her, twisting their fingers together as their horses plodded around the paddock. "You don't have to slow down for me you know, you can go ride like the wind if you want."

Reggie's face took on a small pink hue. "I'd rather be with you, if that's alright." Julie blushed herself, but squeezed his hand and let their horses guide them around in a simple circle as the sun began to set over the lake.

~

They enjoyed a rather lovely dinner together that evening, the candlelight low, music soft, but they spent it dissing their exes and sharing a bottle of wine, giggling by the time they entered their room. However, the large bed looming there had a sobering effect as they got ready, backs turned to one another as they slid under the covers.

"Thank you again for coming Reg," Julie whispered. She heard him turning over so she copied the move, facing his earnest green eyes and kind, crooked grin.

"Anything for you Jules, you know that. Plus I got to ride a horse, so I should be thanking you!" They both giggled at that, wishing each other soft goodnights as their laughter died, eyes closing, and hands finding each other in their slumber.

Julie awoke the next morning feeling warm, and blinked open her eyes to find herself tangled up in Reggie, his heartbeat steady under her ear. He was extremely comfy, and she was tempted to just let herself drift back into sleep when he started to stir. Reggie blinked down at her, his smile and eyes soft as she slowly came into focus. "Morning darlin', sleep okay?"

"Best sleep I've had in a while. You?"

"Same," Reggie said, though his words were punctuated by a yawn, and then a grumble from his stomach. "Breakfast?"

Julie's own stomach answered for her, and they got ready for the day surprisingly quickly, and were fed before too long. Julie asked if maybe they could take a rowboat out on the lake, just enjoy the surroundings, and Reggie was keen, so they wandered down to the lake, sitting through the prerequisite safety demo and soon were being lead to the docks.

Julie was being fitted for her lifejacket when an employee held Reggie back. "Look buddy, I know this scenario is romantic and all, but if you're planning to pop the question in the middle of the lake, do yourself a favour and just don't okay? The amount of guys I've had to fish out because they lost their balance while proposing is staggeringly high."

"I wasn't... we aren't... thanks for the warning," Reggie stammered.

"My advice is always to do it in the gazebo," the employee said, gesturing to the small structure up closer to the house that looked over the lake, covered in blooms and looking quite picteresque.

"I'll keep that in mind," Reggie promised, tossing on his own life jacket and easing himself into the boat. He came up with some lie about the employee reminding him about their time limit, and began rowing.

~

That night was a repeat of their first; good food, good wine, and ending up snuggle around each other in their sleep. Reggie awoke first this time, and he had to resist the urge to gently kiss Julie awake. Honestly, this whole trip had been the most sublime torture, everything he wanted dangled right in front of him, and no way to reach it. He was just so gone for Julie, but they were friends, and nothing more. He didn't dare disturb that, not for the sake of some silly crush.

Julie slowly blinked her eyes open and caught Reggie staring down at her intently, seemingly lost in thought. "Hey," she whispered softly. "Whatcha thinking about?"

"Breakfast," he answered lamely, but Julie didn't question his lie. "Also thinking we could go into town today, check out some small touristy shops?"

"Sounds good to me."

Thus, after food they headed off on foot to the nearby town, enjoying the leisurely stroll, walking hand in hand, taking in the beautiful trees and plants that lined the path. The town itself was small and quaint, everything painted in bright pastels, with kitschy little stores. Julie bought them both taffy to share, while Reggie opted to get them some lemonade. They found a few small souvenirs for their friends, Julie slipping them inside her tote bag.

Then she saw it; the stall selling stained glass panels that you could hang from your window and had to stop at the gorgeous one of a dahlia. She lifted a tentative finger to it, tracing the myriad of petals in various shades of pink and purple and felt a longing like she hadn't in so long.

"Wow, that's gorgeous," Reggie commented, lifting it gently, then taking in the price and letting out a low whistle. Julie looked and balked, knowing that hand crafted things were more expensive, but she couldn't justify buying it. She took it from Reggie and eased it back on it's hook, proposing lunch.

Only, at lunch, Reggie excused himself for the bathroom and took a while to come back, shrugging it off as too much sugar, making Julie tease him about his sweet tooth. They ambled away the rest of the afternoon, mostly window shopping, though they did squeeze themselves into a photo booth, cheesing it up for every picture. They stumbled out of the booth, and an old lady passing by them made a comment about what a lovely couple they made, causing them both to blush and stammer, but neither denied it, just giggling to one another as they made their way back to the inn.

They enjoyed one last meal back at the inn, a bitter sweetness falling over them. "This has been the best weekend, thank you Reggie," Julie said sincerely as they got ready for bed.

"It was my pleasure." Reggie paused then, biting his lip, and then went to her tote, extracting a tissue wrapped package and placed it gingerly into her hands. Julie eased the paper back and gasped as she saw the stained glass dahlia staring back at her.

"Reggie... you didn't have to... this was so expensive!"

Reggie shrugged at that. "You're worth every penny Jules. Plus you let me mooch off this trip from that idiot Tyson. Can't believe he had the nerve to treat you like that."

Julie lowered the dahlia to the small coffee table, biting her lip as she faced Reggie. "The thing is... when I confronted him about it, he said... 'I figured we weren't exclusive since you're dating Peters as well as me'."

"What? He thought we were dating?" Reggie asked.

"He's not the only one. Every employee here has assumed we are, that lady in town... hell my dad has been asking me for ages when we're going to make things official," Julie said. "It seems like everyone can see it... except us."

"Julie..." Reggie started, taking her hands in his. "I-I care about you, so so much. More than I probably should, but I didn't want to mess things up with my feelings, so I convinced myself I'd be happy enough just being your friend."

Julie gazed up at him, the moonlight from the window making him glow. "I have to admit, when Tyson said that... I had to ask myself why, and well, talking to dad made it all the clearer how much of a couple we come off as without ever being one... and how much I want that to change. So, Reggie Peters, what do you say about taking me out on a real date when we get home?"

Reggie's answer was a deep and passionate kiss that sent them tumbling onto the bed, breathless and giggling as they broke apart.

~

They awoke the next morning, tangled together to a knocking on the door. "Mr. and Mrs. Molina? Check out is in an hour, just wanted to remind you."

The pair of them looked at each other and giggled. "One day," Reggie promised, kissing her knuckles.

"So who do you think is going to be the most surprised when we tell them?" Julie asked as they pulled away from the inn.

"That we're finally dating or that we haven't been all this time?" Reggie asked. Julie giggled at that, flicking a piece of hair off his forehead, and having her hand caught and kissed before Reggie let go to take hold of the wheel once more.

~

Over two years later, they found themselves back at the inn, giddy to be back in the place that had brought them together. Though they had been back a fair few times since then, loving the peace and quiet it supplied them outside of their noisy and hectic lives. Reggie caught sight of the boating instructor who had warned him about the lake last year and waved, going off to say hello while Julie checked them in.

"Ah, hello again Mr. Molina, nice to see you again."

Reggie grinned at that. "It's Peters actually. But I'm working on making myself Molina very soon." He glanced around, and seeing that Julie wasn't looking, he showed off the ring he had stashed in his pocket, bouncing a little on his toes. "And don't worry, I remember what you told me about the rowboats."

"I'll ensure the gazebo is empty at sunset with a bottle of champagne then?" the employee asked with a smirk. Reggie nodded and slipped a few bills into his hand, then rushed off to Julie.

They went up to their room, unpacking quickly, and Julie brought Reggie into a lush kiss. "So, what first? Horses or lake?"

"Actually, I was wondering if you'd like a stroll in the gardens with me? I heard about a really nice place we can watch the sunset together..."

[larenoz]

Fic Rec - Reflections on the “open up my eager eyes” series

by @haloud

This is going to be a mix between fic review but mainly personal reflections on the stories. I promise no coherence or consistency whatsoever. Think incoherent ravings of a mad woman. It’s basically going to be raving about how much I love this series of stories. There will be sort-of spoilers. As always, read the tags and notes on the fics people.

Part 1 - tuck my hair behind my ears and touch my soul - Alex/Kyle, Michael - Kyle POV

This story kicks off my favourite Roswell, New Mexico fic series. It hooked me from the opening line, which is one of the best ever in the fandom, setting the scene perfectly - "It starts at the Wild Pony, that breeding ground for bad ideas."

This story is told from Kyle's POV and introduces us to an Alex and Michael who have found their balance, with themselves and with each other in a relationship with some dom/sub dynamics. It's a relationship that they invite Kyle into, initially for the night. While there's play with power dynamics and some angsty bits, the overall feel of this fic is intense but light? 

It's about everyone getting what they need, and in Kyle's case finding out what that need actually is. The characters are so spot on, an easy to believe extension of the characters we've seen on screen and come to love. 

Even when things get sexy and filthy and intense, there is still an underlying tenderness between the three of them that I just love. It's the combination of filthy hotness, believable characters and emotional connection that is complete catnip to me in a fic. 

There is a wealth of little details that give so much depth (story, character, emotions) to what is essentially an extended sex scene. In fact, they barely touch, the intensity generated by the emotional and mental connections that all three characters make. 

Part 2 - what yields the need for those who lead us - Alex, Kyle/Michael - Kyle POV

Kyle is back for another night with Alex and Michael, but with the D/s and physical aspects of the relationship turned up to 11. This one sees all three of them getting into the sexy action. 

But while the fic is smutty, Kyle never treats the underlying relationship that he is invited into as anything other than significant, and about so much more than sex - "I can do casual, but nothing about this feels casual to me." 

Both of these stories give us a slightly different take on the characters we already know. Alex’s iron control is re-purposed to give chaotic, adrift Michael freedom - by giving him boundaries, and to give Kyle freedom - by letting him give up some of the responsibility he carries everyday. Everyone gets something they need.

Part 3 - i just ask you to be patient - Michael/Kyle/Alex - Kyle POV

This story is about what comes after the amazing, kinky, hot sex. What happens when sex is off the table and they need to rely on their words? What happens when you put three people who’ve had their worlds shattered in different but inter-connected ways - together, trying to build something new? What we get is two steps forward and one step back. But that makes sense with these characters. Mis-steps through self-sacrifice and doubt. Not feeling worthy of love. The fear that comes with opening up your heart to other people. 

“I didn’t want to....take up too much space.” I mean, jesus. These boys.

Part 4 - a bookend to the weirdest of weeks - Michael/Kyle, Alex - Kyle POV

This one is all about Kyle. Not many fics have explored the impact of the revelations about Jim and Rosa on Kyle. What we’ve seen in the show hints that he has a really good relationship with his parents, probably the best out of all of the humans and so he had the most to lose when he found out the truth about Jim and what he did at Caulfield. This fic looks at how he deals with that and its specific impact on his relationship with Michael. 

Basically Kyle is a big ball of inherited guilt in this one. 

How do you build a relationship on the ashes of your fathers’ actions? How does Kyle deal with having “...two Jim Valenti’s living side by side in his mind to grieve…” In some ways it’s the perennial story of the parent we knew as a child versus the parent we see when we are adults. But it’s also about how do you reconcile your love for a parent when they have done something that has destroyed another person you love?

“Caulfield shattered Michael.” 

How do you grieve and think about forgiveness in those circumstances? How do you build on the ashes?

Part 5 - it’s a postcard, i’m settled - Kyle/Alex/Michael 

Domestic bliss, Michael loves a challenge and filthy, filthy smut. I love it.

Part 6 - the stumbling phase of the midnight waltz - Michael/Alex, Kyle - Michael POV

Not gonna lie, this one sort of hurts. This one is Michael slowly falling apart when Alex and Kyle aren’t there to help hold him together. Where Michael’s fear of abandonment led to some poor decision making, “...he left his phone under the bed, so the weight of silence didn’t hit so heavy.” He can pretend that he’s missing the calls because his phone isn’t there, not because no one is calling (even when they are).

Michael in this fic is just so fragile. It’s not an uncharacteristic version of Michael, but rather a version that we only ever see in flashes, easy to miss or ignore. But here, with nowhere to run and no one to hide behind, we see that fragility in its many forms. We know from previous fics that this Michael has been shattered by the events of his life and in this story we see those fractures grow and become more obvious.

But of course Alex, he sees and asks so gently “May I touch you?”, followed by “Are you ready for me to tell you what you need?”. Ahh, I love these boys.

Part 7 - blink back to let me know - Alex/Kyle - Alex POV

This one takes place immediately after the stumbling phase of the midnight waltz (previous fic). Alex is reaching out to Kyle for support, feeling raw after taking care of Michael. And Kyle uses his superpowers - communication, calm and support - to help Alex get back where he needs to be. This is an exploration of some of Alex and Kyle’s insecurities of brokenness, weakness and not belonging. But also of pieces fitting together.

Part 8 - i’ll be your key - Alex/Michael/Kyle - Michael POV

This is a story of spikiness and sharp edges. Of the fear and anger and frustration that comes with physical danger and not being able to protect the people we love. I love Michael’s concern for Kyle, his need to touch him, to make sure he’s alright but also his uncertainty that he is allowed to. Of Alex’s fear and anger at Kyle getting hurt, that it is his fault, a failure to protect him. Of Kyle’s frustration at tough guy bullshit and professional compromise. They are in a place where they are still finding their way, but are certain enough to tell each other the truth, but still living with the weight of legacy, guilt and insecurity.

But also where once they are sure Kyle is safe, Michael can be his dickish but likable self. 

Part 9 - tender, frantic, life-affirming - Kyle/Alex/Michael

This is all about the “tender, frantic, life-affirming sex” that Michael was angling for in the previous fic, but with a slightly lighter tone than the description would indicate.

Like so many of the stories in this series, even when we’re getting top shelf smut (which this is), we also get these small glimpses of the characters that gives them another texture, more depth - be it Alex’s sweet-shark smile, Michael being completely out of it or Kyle’s being overwhelmed. 

And I’m not gonna lie, I’m totally here for the dynamics in this one, which are masterful. Alex at his bossy, dommy best, Michael melting at being able to let go and just be, and Kyle giving and taking as needed.

Part 10 - say what’s on your mind - Kyle/Michael - Kyle POV

Names can be weapons, names can be shields, names have power - names are important. 

This story always hits me hard because name fics involving these characters are my kryptonite. I love them. This one is about Kyle and Michael calling him Doc. Because Kyle knows how much Michael fears hospitals, he questions why Michael calls him Doc. Kyle feels guilty, Michael thinks he’s fucked up, Alex drops everything to help. They are back to sharp edges, guilt and fear. I want to give them all hugs and a good talking to. 

Kyle runs, and Michael, god, Michael, he needs another fucking hug. 

But then, such heartbreaking tenderness and care.

Part 11 - give me all you’e got - Alex/Michael/Kyle 

Michael is getting better at asking for what he needs, and what he needs is Alex calling the shots for him and Kyle. Alex is happy to oblige. Porny, porn with feels. 

Conclusion

While the series is definitely about the three of them, it’s one of the few that explores in depth what a relationship between Michael and Kyle could look like. What the dynamics and emotions of that would look like, how they would both deal with not only their personal histories, but with the weight of family legacy.   

I love this series because we get angst and pain and hurt but we also get love and tenderness and protectiveness. We get harsh words but also soft touches. In a story about how three people find their balance with each other, the writing is perfectly balanced.  

I love everything about this series. It’s hot, it’s complicated, the characters read true and have depth and flaws and tenderness. It’s believable. It has everything I want in a fic. It really is word perfect. Go read them!!

open up my eager eyes by @haloud​

https://archiveofourown.org/series/1353715

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

You’ve given me too much power mouhahahaha

⚡️⚡️⚡️🌊🌊🌊🌿🌿🌿🌌🌌🌌🩸🩸🩸📚📚📚✉️✉️✉️

(I think?? I got them all?? If not just do three of each 😅)

Oh this is fun! Okay, nine new sentences for each!

⚡️⚡️⚡️:

---

Eddie chuckles, then leans forward to press a light kiss to Buck’s lips. Buck makes a little happy hum that vibrates against Eddie’s mouth. 

“So later when I make up some story about having a headache,” Eddie tells him. “You know it’s so we can come back home and get you out of that outfit.”

Buck’s hands settle on Eddie’s waist. “Hmm, I love lying all of a sudden. Maybe you already have a headache?”

Eddie looks at his watch. “Well, I think we have time for a quick headache before we leave.”

---

🌊🌊🌊:

---

“Oh, you’re the one that saved my son from drowning,” Shannon exclaims.

“Uh, yes, that’s me.” Buck stammers a little. 

Shannon smirks. “Well, glad to see one of us thanked you properly.”

Buck coughs a little.

Eddie can feel how red his cheeks must be. 

“Okay, thank you, Shannon,” he says, wishing he could teleport out of the room.

---

🌿🌿🌿:

@goldenbcnes

---

“So, what do we do?” Chim asks. “For them, for our kids, and for our peace.” 

“Convince them to talk to each other,” Eddie suggests. “Let our kids hang out in the meantime? Nico was pissed about the pool, apparently.”

“I’m kind of pissed about the pool,” Chim sighs. 

Eddie laughs. “I’m glad you came by.”

Chim smiles. “Me too. I know we’ll all figure this out.”

---

🌌🌌🌌:

@steadfastsaturnsrings

---

He’s been so focused on what he did to Buck and Chris, that he didn’t really consider that he erased himself. Is that what he’s been doing, all these years? Is that how far he took this? 

“Eddie, hey,” Buck says, tone softening. “Hey, it’s gonna be okay.”

“It isn’t okay though,” Eddie moans, muffled into his palm. “It’s not okay.”

Buck stands and walks down the remaining stairs separating the two of them. He wraps his bare arms around Eddie’s shoulders.

---

🩸🩸🩸:

---

He can’t be around anyone he cares about. Not Christopher, not anyone. It’s not worth the risk. He might not be able to be around anyone at all. Eddie might be destined, now, for exile. 

He chokes on this truth, a bitter pill too large to swallow dry. 

He lets the terror and the sadness and the self-loathing swirl around him like a storm for a few minutes, eyes too dry and stinging to even cry. 

Then he remembers who he is. 

He remembers that he made it out of that desert, out of that collapsed well.

---

📚📚📚:

---

“What are you doing?” Anil asked when he found Ravi.

“Taking a break,” Ravi had shrugged, not taking his eyes away from his game. “All the noise was hurting my brain.”

“They’re all here for you.” Anil reminded him. 

“I know,” Ravi had replied. 

Anil huffed. 

“You know, I’m glad you didn’t die.”

That made Ravi look up from his game.

---

✉️✉️✉️:

---

He puts the last postcard down and lays a hand on his chest. His heart feels so heavy. He had known, of course, that Buck was beyond supportive this summer. He had no delusions about that. But he had been deliberately kept in the dark about just how much Buck had been doing. And, of course, he knows Chris and Buck have their own relationship outside of Eddie, but Buck had to have known that this would mean something to Eddie, too. 

Eddie needs to talk about it. Maybe he shouldn’t. Maybe he should leave it in private, keep it secret that he even knows.

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

Okay this is already making me emotional i NEED to know more pls👀👀

✉️✉️✉️✉️✉️✉️

Thank you💕💕

Hey! YAY! Glad to hear that.

Here's 18 fresh sentences:

---

Buck answers not long after Eddie knocks. 

“Hey,” Buck says, slight confusion in his expression. “What’s up? Thought you were taking it easy this evening.”

“Can I come in?” Eddie asks. 

“Of course,” Buck says, opening the door wide and stepping back to make room for him. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, uh…” Eddie doesn’t really know what to say. So instead, he just hands Buck the envelope as he walks through the door. “Here.”

Buck raises an eyebrow as he receives it. 

“I told you I’m not signing divorce papers if you don’t give me full ownership of the summer house,” he jokes. 

Eddie has to hold back a snort. 

“Just… Just look inside, okay?” He says. “I found this while doing Christopher’s laundry.”

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

🌌🌌🌌🌌 and ✉✉✉✉✉for the make me write, pretty please?

Absolutely! Thank you!

Here's 12 for 🌌:

(tagging you @steadfastsaturnsrings)

---

“The last thing I want is space.”

“Well you got two states of it!” 

“That’s not what I thought would happen!” Eddie insists. 

“What did you think would happen?” Buck demands.

“Literally nothing! It wasn’t even like a wish on a star. It was like a grumble on a star, Buck, I promise. I promise I would never intentionally do anything to remove you from my life.”

Buck wipes at his eyes mildly. Eddie doesn’t if it’s because of sleep or tears.

---

15 for ✉️:

---

Dear Chris,

Not going to lie, this big old horse stamp sort of reminds of this girl I knew growing up, Hillary, who was so obsessed with horses I SWEAR she started to look like one.

Anyway, sorry it’s been a minute since I wrote to you. Been pretty busy. Spent a few days in Malibu with your dad actually. All those surfing lessons he got you to take and boy can he NOT do it himself. Kinda sad, really.

Next time, I’m not going without you. I need someone who knows what they’re doing!

Well Happy July! I bet there’s big fireworks on the 4th in Texas. Seems like a patriotic state, but what do I know? I always liked fireworks, but don’t know how much I like the holiday itself. That’s a whole other topic.

Miss you! Love you!

Buck

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

✉️ ✉️ ✉️ ✉️ ✉️ ✉️

📚📚📚📚📚📚📚

🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸

Hi!!!

Here are some fresh sentences for ya.

18 for ✉️:

---

Eddie laughs fondly at this one. That had been kind of a crazy, exciting call. And he had thought of Chris the whole time, wanting to tell him about it. He still could, he supposes. But he’s glad to know Buck did, when it happened. Eddie doesn’t know why he hasn’t tried to tell him about it. Maybe he’s been scared to make it sound like he had any fun at all while Chris was away. 

The thing is, he did, though. Not that it wouldn’t have been better if Chris was there. It would have been. But the call was crazy and kind of fun in its uniqueness. The hike at Salton Sea that Buck had arranged was fun, too. And there were more days where Buck dragged him to something to get his mind of Chris and Kim and Marisol and every other fucked up thing going through his head, only for him to come away feeling something resembling happiness. 

Take, for example, the next post card. Eddie knows why Buck picked it the moment he sees the sunset and palm trees front and the font reading Malibu, California, in the top corner. Buck had dragged him to Malibu during a four-off, made them stay in an AirBNB, despite how close it was to home, and somehow convinced him to spend a weekend falling off a surfboard, drinking beer, and getting badly sunburnt on his shoulders. It was a fantastic weekend. Eddie can’t even feel guilty about how much he’d enjoyed it. 

---

21 for 📚:

---

Like life, sometimes it makes it easier if Ravi reflects back on cancer with a textbook view of his experience. When people ask him how he can be so optimistic or easygoing about the whole thing, he doesn’t tell them this is the trick. He always gives a lame excuse about the power of a good attitude.

The real power is in shutting the cover on it.

He wrote about it in his college entrance essays with this same scholarly detachment. It wasn’t hard. He has always been a strong writer. A symptom of so many years without much else to do than read, write, and listen to others talk, whether in person or on TV. 

Neuroblastoma - a type of cancer that forms in certain types of nerve tissue. It is the third most common type of cancer in children, presenting in about one in seven thousand. Estimates say it is responsible for about fifteen percent of cancer related deaths in children. 

It’s usually detected before kids turn five, especially when it's on the spine or in the stomach. Ravi’s was in his chest. When he had difficulty breathing, he was diagnosed with asthma. He was almost eight by the time they figured it out. 

When Ravi wrote about that part of it all in his college essay, he turned it into a commentary piece on the dangers of misdiagnosis. After all, it’s what led his tumor to grow to a point that made surgery and treatment more complicated, where he might have had a far easier go of it at four or five. He wrote about that and it made him seem wise and reflective, someone whose personal experiences as a child might make him a vigilant adult. He didn’t whine and complain about how years of frailty dismissed as something that shouldn’t require more than a puffer earned him a reputation for weakness, how he was excluded and smaller than the other boys his age, including his little brother. He didn’t recount being bullied, and he certainly never named the ringleader of those bullies. Anil. 

---

21 for 🩸:

---

“I can order something for myself,” Buck tells him. “Maybe you could go home for a while.”

“Go home?” Tommy asks. “Is someone else stopping by to make sure you’re okay?”

“I’m okay.” Buck says. 

Tommy furrows his brows. “I’m not sure that you are.”

“Listen, I-I just need to be alone for a while.” Buck explains. “I need to call Christopher.”

“You can’t call Christopher with someone in the apartment to keep an eye on you?” Tommy asks skeptically. 

“No.” Buck replies.

“Well, why not?”

“Because it’s a family thing!” Buck snaps.  Tommy’s expression stiffens. Buck immediately feels like an ass.

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

YESS I LOVE WHEN YOU DO THIS!!!

🌿 🌿 🌿 🌿 🌿 🌿 🌿

🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸

✉️✉️✉️✉️✉️

Thank you I’m so excited!!

THANK YOU! I love doing this.

Here are 21 new sentences for 🌿:

( @goldenbcnes )

---

Eddie doesn’t say a word about what’s happened with Buck and Maddie when he gets to work. 

He’s still at the 118; he’s Hen’s lead paramedic these days. Chim has long since moved to a teaching position at the Fire Academy. So, from the 118 team of old, only Eddie, Hen, and Ravi remain. Given how closer and interwoven their lives still are, Hen might very well already know from Chim about Buck and Maddie’s argument, might already have her own opinions. It’s not for Eddie to bring it up. 

Besides, Eddie feels off about the whole thing. He feels like Buck and Maddie have stepped directly into some sort of trap. No one was fighting before their parents came. No one had any tension. Eddie has seen firsthand Margaret Buckley’s vitriol. Maybe he’s being ridiculous, given that she’s sick. Maybe it’s Eddie’s own history of quiet mental chess with his own parents bubbling to the surface. But they’re in town for two days with an agenda of accessing care from their estranged children, and already, they’ve divided and conquered. 

Eddie is unsure how to approach this train of thought. He has decided to take time to think it through. He doesn’t want to make things worse for Buck or Nico. Or Maddie, Chim, and Jee.

Which is why it turns out to be a stroke of good fortune when Chim shows up at the station between calls. 

He does this sometimes. So does Bobby.

---

24 for 🩸:

---

If this is what Eddie is dealing with, then Buck will become the fucking expert. 

He’s been home from the hospital for about twelve hours. He’s feeling disgusting - caged and unlike himself - but mostly fine. The blood loss related lethargy is fading, replaced simply by emotional lethargy. The wounds on his neck are healing faster than he might have expected. It hardly even hurts anymore. It’s just a scab overtop lightly bruised skin. The doctors said there will probably be two small puncture mark scars. Buck might be glad for them, for the proof that Eddie isn’t really gone, if he doesn’t suspect they will give people a reason to look at him twice. 

Tommy brought him home, to the loft. It reminds him of when Ali brought him back after his leg was crushed. Though he’s far less dependent on Tommy for help than he was on her, then. He’s in far less pain. But he feels just as singular minded now as he had then. Then, the target was getting back to work. 

It’s a little different now.

Tommy hasn’t left and Buck wishes he would. Not because he’s done anything particularly wrong, but because he can’t trust him with this. He can’t trust anyone with this, not yet. But he needs to process that all the same, so he needs to be alone. 

Unfortunately, he doesn’t go about it the best way. 

“What do you want for lunch?” Tommy asks, while Buck is planted in front of the TV, watching ongoing news coverage. “I can order us something.”

---

And 15 for ✉️:

---

Dear Chris,

Do you like the sea turtle stamp? I know you do. Anyway, I had to send you this one today, because we had a call at the museum! Isn’t that cool? Okay, well not cool for the guy who got impaled when a mammoth display fell over, but in general, cool.

He’s okay! Remains to be seen for the mammoth. But, that means, I got to TOUCH the mammoth skeleton. With gloves. And very carefully. And only when Hen and Chim said I could. But still. Your dad got to lift up the tusk! It looked kind of badass, I won’t lie.

Bet you’re jealous! We can go when you’re back and I’ll show you what bones I got to touch.

---

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

✉️✉️✉️✉️ and 🌿🌿🌿🌿 please!!

Hey! Awesome!

12 for ✉️:

----

“O-okay, so when I left Hershey, I used to send postcards to the hospital where Maddie worked,” he starts. “We weren’t really talking. I was mad at her, because… Well, it didn’t matter. The point was, that was the only way we really kept in touch.” 

So, that’s who he meant in that first message to Chris. Eddie didn’t know that.

“For how long?” Eddie asks. 

“About six years,” Buck says. “We called occasionally. But you know, with Doug… I think it was easier for her not to.”

---

And 12 for 🌿:

---

“Are we still going swimming with Nico tonight?” Jee asks. 

“No,” Maddie informs her. “We, uh, had to postpone that. Another time, okay?”

Jee is quiet for a moment.

“Is it because Uncle Buck is mad at us?”

“What?” Maddie asks. “Baby, he’s not mad at you. Why would you think that?”

“But he is mad?”

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

Hi Cal ❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️ can you please write

⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️

🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊

🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌

🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨

🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿

🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸

✉️✉️✉️✉️✉️✉️

📚📚📚📚📚📚📚📚📚📚

Please and THANK YOUUUUUUU❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️

Hell yeah I can!

21 for ⚡️:

---

First, butter Buck up so he’s feeling good. Second, act just possessive enough of him - like a dog peeing on a bush - that his parents leave him the fuck alone. Third, meet any of their passive aggressive horseshit with the appropriately petty energy, so Buck doesn’t have to. Eddie thinks it’s brilliant. He could lead a nation.

Part one is very easy. It requires zero exaggeration, because he has genuinely somehow ended up with somebody mouthwateringly gorgeous and generally wonderful. 

“My god,” Eddie whistles as Buck is changing into a pair of slacks and his signature just-too-tight button up. “Why would you decide to wear something that makes me immediately want to undress you?”

Buck smirks, cheeks turning pink. “Not hard to do, considering how much you like undressing me.”

Eddie steps into him and runs a hand along the soft pinkish color of his shirt. 

“Yeah, but it’s like you’re taking it to new extremes,” Eddie says, voice low. “Your arms in this.”

“You have to behave,” Buck swats Eddie’s hand away. He’s acting like he’s on task, but Eddie knows the compliments are working. “Besides, you’re not any better in those pants.”

Eddie looks down at himself. “What’s wrong with my pants?”

“Nothing and that’s the point,” Buck says. “You just can’t see your own ass.”

---

18 for 🌊:

---

“Um,” Chris tries again. “I forgot my Switch.”

“Yep,” Eddie says, voice a few octaves too high. “Why don’t you go get it?”

Buck struggles to put his shirt back on, hands shaking a little. It gets stuck on his head for a minute. 

“Right…” Chris says. “Sorry to interrupt your, uh, making out.”

Shannon chokes on a peel of laughter behind her palm. 

Eddie wants to die.

Chris walks off towards his bedrooms, cheeks pink.

The moment he’s out of earshot, Shannon drops her hand and starts cackling. 

“Okay,” Eddie frowns, unimpressed. “We were supposed to have the house to ourselves.”

“No, no, I know,” Shannon tries to compose herself, wiping honest to god tears from the corners of her eyes. “Just every time I wondered if seeing you with a guy for the first time would be awkward for me, I never thought it would be so much more awkward for you.”

Eddie sighs. “Buck, this is Shannon. My ex. Shannon, Buck, my…”

---

15 for 🌌:

( @steadfastsaturnsrings )

---

Buck rolls his eyes. “Eddie, I’m so pissed off. Like so pissed off. I really… I thought I was going crazy.”

“Right, so I-”

Buck raises a finger.

“Shut up for a second.”

Eddie’s mouth snaps shut.

“I am so pissed off,” Buck says again. “But if I didn’t fucking love you so much, and love what we are, there would be nothing to be mad about. If I didn’t love you, I would’ve just kept on with the way things were. It wasn’t my life you erased, Eddie. It was yours. So how can I help you not do that in a way that can’t be undone?”

Eddie covers his mouth with his hand, feeling his jaw and lower lip begin to shake.

---

21 for 🚨:

---

He always thought it was silly when people, listing phobias, spouted off scenarios that seemed impossible. Like being buried alive. But, right now, Eddie thinks he may have been buried alive. 

Oh fuck. 

Eddie pants, terrified. He is going to die. He is going to fucking die. He’s not even thirty. He’s going to fucking die before he turns thirty, just like Shannon. 

Shannon…

Christopher.

What the hell will happen to Christopher if he dies? Two parents dead in under a year? God. Fuck. His poor baby boy. This will hurt him so badly. 

At least he’ll have Buck. Buck will take care of him. Love him like his own, like he already does. Buck will keep him safe.

---

27 for 🌿:

( @goldenbcnes )

---

“And Maddie respects that, too,” Chim agrees. “Really, she does. I think she’s just stressed about how she’s going to balance everything as Margaret gets sicker.”

Eddie thinks of Shannon, all those years ago, leaving to take care of her dying mother. Obviously this is a completely different situation, but that undercurrent of stress on a dwindling timer is still there. It’s hard enough to do it and balance your own kid and marriage, let alone someone else’s kid, too. Buck can’t quite see that, from his perspective. Then again, his perspective is pretty narrowed by an otherwise completely reasonable fear.

“They need to talk,” Eddie sighs. 

“They really do,” Chim agrees. 

“It won’t go well if he feels like Nico is at risk of feeling the way he felt as a kid,” Eddie warns. 

“I know,” Chim replies. “When Jee was born, I couldn’t imagine her ever feeling tossed aside by me the way I felt by my own dad. The thought makes me feel crazy.” 

“I hear that,” Eddie agrees emphatically. And he does, is the thing. He had tried so hard, with Christopher especially, not to be his parents. Did he make some of the same mistakes? Yes. Of course. Especially when Chris was little, and Shannon was in the picture. But overall, he raised a son who isn’t afraid to talk about his feelings and can come to Eddie and Buck for help without fear of reproach. 

Christopher didn’t grow up feeling so much pressure the core of himself got crushed. Jee-Yun, from what Eddie knows of his niece, knows she is adored beyond measure by both her parents. And Nico, his sweet little boy, is utterly surrounded by people who adore him unconditionally. That’s what matters most. Everything else, they can figure out.

---

15 for 🩸:

---

Does that mean… Buck is here, right now?

Eddie gapes at the house for a moment. He figured, if Buck was alive, he was probably in the hospital. Or resting at home with Maddie caring for him, fussing over him like she had after he was struck by lightning. Why is he here? 

Eddie takes a few steps closer to the front stoop and considers it. Walking up, throwing the door open, begging Buck for his forgiveness and his help. Explaining that he was out of his mind. That he would never choose to hurt him. So, please, help him call his son. Help him get through this. He thinks Buck would probably forgive him, if he understood. It’s not in Buck’s nature to be unforgiving.  But before he can make a decision, Eddie hears the telltale click of the front door unlocking from the inside. Spooked, he ducks behind the Jeep, hiding himself.

---

18 for ✉️:

---

The final postcard is just a plain Los Angeles tourism piece. You could find it anywhere. It’s dated August 16th. The day after the day Christopher told Eddie he was ready to come home. 

Dear Chris,

I heard the news today that you’re coming home soon. So this will be the last postcard I send you. I hope it reaches you before you fly out.

I don’t want to be too sappy or anything and cramp your style, but I am really, really happy to hear you’re coming back to Los Angeles. It’s really not the same without you, kiddo.

One of the reasons I liked the idea of moving out here, all those years ago, was because of just how many people are in the city. It sounded hard to feel lonely with millions of people around you. But that was kind of immature thinking, on my part. Doesn’t matter how many people are nearby if YOUR people are far away.

So I’m glad you’ll be back. Zoo trip soon?

Lots of love and have a safe flight,

Buck

Eddie doesn’t know why he’s crying by the time he finishes reading. His throat is thick with an emotion he can’t easily untangle.

---

30 for 📚:

---

When it kept getting worse, and it was clear something beyond asthma was wrong, Ravi was almost relieved. He remembers that feeling. Like a further explanation would make it something other than an inherent flaw in him. And he supposes that is true. Neuroblastomas are a random mutation, not caused by anything the patient does at all. But a ridiculous thing to be glad about, in hindsight. 

In the end, it took close to four years of treatment before Ravi was done. Three surgeries. Multiple courses of chemotherapy. He was held back a grade, even. 

And as Ravi grew sicker and sicker, then, slowly but steadily, better, Anil hated him more and more. He never understood it. He never understood what he did. They hardly even got to spend time together those days, for Ravi to have done anything at all to Anil. He remembers wishing Anil could understand how tired he was, how much pain he was always in, and cut him a break. But empathy has never been his strong suit. 

Ravi’s mother tried to make him understand. 

“Your brother has always liked being in the center of any room he walks into,” she said one day, when Ravi was eleven. “But your illness has required a lot of attention from your father and I over the past few years.”

“I didn’t want this,” Ravi had complained. “I’m the one who is sick.”

But yet again, that hardly seemed to matter. What was or wasn’t in Ravi’s control was never the point. The point was that Ravi had something Anil craved like a vice. Attention. And no matter how many perfect grades or winning soccer games or remarks from teachers about what a charming, polite young boy he was, Anil couldn’t take it from Ravi. Not until Ravi was healthy again, anyway.

Ravi remembers that the family had a party for him, when he was officially considered in remission. Everyone from both sides of the family came. It was huge.

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

hii :D

✉️✉️✉️🩸🩸🩸📚📚📚 please :)

Hi!!

Here are some brand new sentences!

9 for ✉️:

---

Dear Chris,

This stamp collection theme is carnival nights. But it kind of reminded me of the pier. Which maybe isn’t a good memory, but we had fun before the tsunami part, right?

Today I went for a very long, very hot hike at Salton Sea. It’s actually a lake, not a sea, but given how salty it is, it got that name. Kind of like the Great Salt Lake in Utah.

It was very cool. One minute you’re in the middle of the desert, the next there’s a body of water that really does look like the ocean. Less fishy smelling though.

---

9 for 🩸:

---

Buck has not contracted hemodhampirosis.  

That’s what they’re calling it. Apparently, someone infected was apprehended and brought into custody the same day Gerrard was killed, across town. The CDC has been brought in, according to the news. Infected blood has been isolated, named, and reported on. But no one understands it yet. It’s only been days, after all. 

Buck thinks he wants to learn all he can about this infection. He thinks he wants to memorize it until it's etched into his brain matter.

---

9 for 📚:

---

No, he can’t just show up here. Ravi doesn’t want him here. Ravi doesn’t want him anywhere. But he can’t just say that? He can’t just say that, because it’s rude. It’s rude, and while Ravi doesn’t always know the right thing to say, can’t always read the room, he never wants to be perceived as rude. And Hen is standing right there. If Ravi barks out something rude, something that seems uncalled for, then she might think he’s unreasonable. And while he cares about how everyone on the 118 sees him, it would be dishonest to pretend Hen’s opinion doesn’t carry special weight. 

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

hiii

🌿🌿🌿, 🚨🚨🚨, ✉️✉️✉️ & 📚📚📚

HIII!!!!!

Here we go, brand new sentences...

9 for 🌿:

tagging @goldenbcnes for Nico-verse.

---

Nico is decidedly not okay with his plans being canceled. Really, for a six year-old, he has a rather solid grasp of his schedule. Don’t anyone dare change it on him. 

“I am going to the pool with Jee today,” he says sternly, over breakfast, when Buck mentions he’s dropping him off at Bobby’s before work.

“Not anymore, kiddo,” Buck says. “Plans changed, and you’re going to Grandpa’s today instead.”

“No.” Nico adopts the angry expression of a child in a horror movie before they start killing people with their mind. “I want to go swimming with Jee.”

---

9 for 🚨:

---

“Ah, darn, I had been planning on getting up to trouble,” Eddie jokes weakly. 

“Oh, you already did,” Buck reminds him, tone a little clipped.

Right. 

He knew he was in shit with Bobby. He didn’t know he was in shit with Buck.

“You know why I did it,” Eddie tells him. Because he knows Buck would have done the same. 

Buck exhales. “I do.”

---

9 for ✉️:

---

If he’s going to read them, he wants the pieces of the story in the right sequence. 

The first postcard is dated June 2nd. Just days after Christopher left. The wound had still been so fresh then. Eddie had hardly been able to get out of bed when he wasn’t at work. There hadn’t been much else in life, that week, that seemed worth his energy, if Chris was gone.

The postcard itself is plain. Just a basic skyline photo with Los Angeles spelled out in white font. The stamp on it is kind of cool, though. Bright teal, with an illustrated manatee. The exact sort of thing Buck would buy. 

---

9 for 📚

---

“Anil?” Ravi asks, turning to walk away from Buck, back towards the engine bay and his brother. “What are you doing here?”

Hen looks between them both, catching the obvious resemblance. Anil is wearing a proper button up and slacks, has a styled beard and coiffed hair, and generally carries himself like he’s rather important. He’s three inches shorter than Ravi. Otherwise, they look a lot alike. 

Anil’s eyes scan Ravi like a rake dragging through soft soil. 

“What happened to you?” He asks, smirking.

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️(that newest chapter was so lovely!!)

🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸(i have been consumed by this story and i must know what happens next!)

📚📚📚📚📚(so intrigued by ravi and his brother!)

✉️✉️✉️✉️✉️✉️(buck just loves chris so much! Sending him postcards like he did for maddie!)

🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌(steal my sunshine boys are almost at resolution! Love that for them!)

🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿(complicated family angst going straight to my heart! I love this universe!!)

…i will admit that i’ve gone a bit deranged in this request but can you blame me? Your writing is just too addictive and i am but a girl

(THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS YOU’RE AMAZING!!)

I think I got close to 30 of these and yours is the FINAL ONE! THANK YOU FOR SUBMITTING <3 <3

I appreciate you very much anon!

30 new sentences for⚡️(thank you! I'm, glad you enjoyed it!):

---

They’re just gonna make an appearance to welcome all the people who need welcoming. Easy peasy, in and out.

What Buck isn’t expecting is for Eddie to go insane. 

As they walk into the house, and do the requisite rounds of hellos, the moment Buck notices his parents, and notices them noticing him, Eddie loops an arm around Buck. Which would normally be fine,  except his arm is so low and loose on Buck’s waist, that he is very close to grabbing Buck’s ass. Might as well just slip a hand down his pocket. 

“What are you doing?” Buck whispers. 

Eddie turns his head so he’s speaking directly into Buck’s ear, like they’re having some sort of suggestive conversation. 

“Making it very clear that they shouldn’t plan on trying to confront you,” he says softly. “They won’t be getting you alone at any point this evening.”

Buck feels a little shiver run down his spine. He likes this, whatever the hell it is.

“I love you,” he tells Eddie.

“Love you, too.”

But then his parents are walking towards him, and Buck wants to puke. He wants to turn and walk the other way. He does not want to play at niceties, no matter how resolved he is to do just that. 

Buck takes a steadying breath. Eddie’s grip on him tightens. 

“Evan,” his father says. “It’s good to see you.”

Beside him, Buck’s mother purses her lips. He can tell which one of them has taken things more personally. Which, fair. It was personal. 

“Hi,” Buck rasps. “Uh, you remember Eddie.”

From such fun occasions as the time Buck nearly died in a factory fire and the time Buck nearly died in a thunderstorm. What fun awaits them tonight, pray tell?

---

18 for 🩸(THANK YOU! I am so happy to hear that!):

---

 Sophia is leaning in his open doorway, wearing striped sleep shorts and an oversized Texas Rangers tee shirt. Her pixie cut - a newer development - has yet to be styled, and is sticking out in a myriad of directions. 

“What?” Buck huffs.

“Mayor did a press conference this morning,” she says. “We’re down to yellow.”

Buck practically flies up into a sitting position. 

“You’re kidding.”

“Nope,” she replies, lips curling into a smile. “Wouldn’t lie about that and you know it.”

“Have you spoken with your parents yet?” Buck asks.

She shakes her head. “Figured we’d want to strategize. Coffee is brewing.”

“Has Chris…” Buck trails off, body tingling with joy.

“You should be the one to call him,” she tells him.

---

15 for 📚(Thank you! Excited to share my Ravi vison):

---

At least Buck is also arriving late to the party, and doesn’t like him yet. That will definitely change, though. Anil is charming and Buck is easygoing. Unless you’re Ravi in your probationary year, of course. 

Ravi walks up to the kitchen table with Buck, mid conversation.

“No, I swear,” Anil is saying to Chim. “It was Jesse Palmer.”

“You sold the host of The Bachelor a house?” Chim asks, awestruck. 

Damn it. How did Anil sniff out Chim’s fascination with that show? 

“We had a call on the set!” Chim exclaims. “All the contestants wanted to sleep with Buck and Eddie!”

“Yeah, I didn’t actually enjoy that,” Eddie mumbles.

---

18 for ✉️(He does!):

---

“And then, I-I thought… He’s a kid, you know? He got angry, he made a really big, serious choice. And-and he was probably scared shitless right away, and missed you, and maybe missed me, too, but was still hurt and angry and didn’t know what to do about that. And I remember what that’s like, so… So I-”

“So did what helped you, when you left home,” Eddie finishes for him.

“Yeah,” Buck nods. “Exactly. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Eddie whispers. “Did he write back?”

Buck chuckles, eyes wet. “He texted. Not at first, but after the second one.”

Buck pulls out his phone, scrolls back up through some messages, and then hands it to Eddie. Eddie reads over a quick conversation where Chris acknowledges the postcards, pretends they’re lame, and then not so subtly tells Buck not to stop sending them. 

“Wow,” Eddie exhales, handing Buck back the phone. “He wasn’t even taking my calls then.”

---

15 for 🌌(Yeah! Almost done!)

@steadfastsaturnsrings

---

“You’re okay,” Buck says, snaking a hand up the back of Eddie’s neck to cradle his head. “You are going to get through this.”

Eddie allows himself to be held, sagging forward into Buck. Buck, who has always been his safe place, even when loving him represented something that felt so dangerous. But it hasn’t been. It hasn’t been. Eddie has had it all wrong. 

“I’m sorry,” Eddie tells him again. “I never meant to…”

“I know.” Buck says into his hair. “I know that.”

“Please forgive me.”

“You know I do,” Buck sighs. “I just… This can’t go on like this, you see that, right?”

---

And 24 for 🌿(Yay thank you!!!):

@goldenbcnes

---

“Well, I’m not a little kid,” Jee pouts. “I can understand.”

Maddie smiles back at her beautiful, smart eleven year-old. Yes, she is still a little kid. Thank you very much. But Maddie isn’t going to burst her bubble of self-perceived maturity.

“Your uncle and I had a very different childhood than yours,” Maddie says. “Our parents treated us very differently from how Dad and I treat you, or how Uncle Buck and Uncle Eddie treat Nico. They love you, Jee, and I am so glad that they do. But there’s a lot of hurt for your uncle and I.”

“But you still see Grandma and Grandpa,” Jee points out.

“I do.”

“You’re not mad at them?” Jee asks.

Well… Yes. Yes, she thinks some part of her will always be mad at them. And how to answer this? Tell her daughter it’s easier not to be mad? To suck it up. She doesn’t want to say that. She… Well, she would want for Jee what Buck has done for himself, if she and Howie were ever so callous towards her. 

“They’ve tried very hard to make it up to me,” Maddie says, instead. Though that doesn’t sit comfortably with her, either. Maddie begins to feel a little sick. Had Buck been right?