#this post was brought on by my love for jowan

[tolltale]

what if the first companion you get changes according to which faction you choose for the protagonist 💆🏻‍♀️💆🏻‍♀️💆🏻‍♀️💆🏻‍♀️💆🏻‍♀️💆🏻‍♀️💆🏻‍♀️💆🏻‍♀️💆🏻‍♀️💆🏻‍♀️

[uranium235s]

sorry for being some insane kind of freak but i love your dragon age art unbelivably much (where are all the beautiful transgender people bioware i know they exist) and your lore seems really cool have you written it down somewhere? sorry if you havent i just really think your stuff is cool asf thanks

I LOVE INSANE FREAKS I AM ONE MYSELF PLLYTYRUGGYH thank you for asking I can definitely explain my ocs and their lore and will do so gleefully in fact, don't have it written down anywhere but my brain so this is my chance

probably needlessly long-winded lore below the cut

SOMNIAR

Somniar is an elven mage! he was born in the Mahariel clan, but when he was very young and began to show signs of magic, he was left behind in the Denerim Alienage because the clan had too many mages. He was briefly taken in by the Surana family, but a few years later the alienage gave him to the circle where he then grew up in its walls.

Surprisingly I have thought about his relationship with Jowan despite the fact that he's a bit one-off 💀 I think Somniar grew really attached to him and was basically his shadow for the first several years that he arrived there. when he realized he was trans, Jowan gave him all his hand-me-downs so he could wear the male robes because that was almost assuredly something he could not petition the templars for.

When Jowan escaped the circle, Somniar was blasé about being kicked out and conscripted. he found it better than the alternative (tranquility) and therefore went along with it just fine. He had deeply conflicting feelings about actually being a warden, having been raised by the circle to believe that he was uniquely prone to corruption, he worried that becoming tainted was something that would make him unclean or more susceptible to the thralls of evil magic. He didn't really cope with this fear until him and Alistair became truly isolated in their wardenhood after the massacre at Ostagar and he realized he had to be this way regardless, so there was little point in being emo about it.

At Ostagar, he reconnected with another new warden recruit from his birth clan named Sylric who belongs to an IRL friend of mine! Sylric is the one who gives Somniar his vallaslin and helps him reconnect with the Dalish :)

basic overview of his game choices:

• Romanced Alistair

• Travelling party is Leliana, Zevran, and Alistair

• Specializations are arcane warrior and spirit healer :)

1. Saved the circle and rejected the rite of annulment

2. Killed the demon, saved Connor, kept isolde alive, and vied for Jowan to not be executed

3. brokered peace between the Dalish and the werewolves, cured the curse

4. killed Branka, elected Bhelen

5. did not defile the ashes. obviously

6. Kept Alistair in the Wardens, elected Anora as queen, allowed Alistair to execute Loghain

7. asked Alistair very nicely to do the dark ritual

8. SURVIVED!!!!

His post canon is defined by being warden commander at Alistair's side until the events before DAI drove them in differing directions, physically, though as they intended to return to each other. However, in the events of DAI is left in the Fade, so that obviously can't really happen.

After the loss of his husband, Somniar takes a brief trek back to Ferelden with intent of invoking some kind of revenge on the inquisition but is stopped by Advisement of Leliana (who saw this coming)

After this, Somniar goes out on his lonesome and camps at various locations over, sleeping and exploring the Fade, and remains in this constant asleep state until he has a vivid and extremely depressing fade dream (which I have written about :) ) that brings him out of it. Afterwards, he heads to Antiva to travel with his closest friends, Zevran and Sylric <3

HAWKE

Honestly my hawke isn't very complex?? lore wise I think what the game presents is accurate, but im of the opinion that as he got older he became the black sheep of the family, exacerbated by Bethany dying. copes by humor and escapism but is constantly brought back down by The Neverending Agony

my Hawke's complexities are based on his relationships with the others and less on the events that besiege him though, I'd feel bad writing out an entire list of relationship Diagnostics so I will say that:

His most close-knit and authentic relationships are with Aveline, Varric, and Fenris, most complicated (but loving still) are Anders & Carver, and the rest of the companions being his close friends that don't really get to see his most personal side. Except Sebastian who is genuinely this man's arch nemesis.

Overview of my game choices:

• Romanced Anders

• Travelling party is Anders, Varric, and Fenris

• Specializations are Blood mage and spirit healer

• Purple personality mainly, w/ secondary blue :)

1. Carver became a grey warden

2. Duelled the Arishok to save Isabela

3. Helped anders compile the ingredients with pretty much no questions asked 💀

4. Sided with the mages. obviously.

Bonus, Legacy - 5. Sided with Larius to kill Corypheus

6. (DAI) Survived the fade

Post-Fade, Hawke meets up with Carver and Anders to ensure their safety before travelling back to Kirkwall. He is all too happy to tease Varric about being Viscount but gladly helped in furthering the rebuilding effort while thinly obscuring Anders continued existence

FIRUZ

my sweet Dalish mage. Firuz absolutely loved life with his Clan. He was extremely close and familiar with his Keeper above even his own parents, and was basically the clan babysitter. Because of his incredible patience and chaos management, the clan elected him to be the one to watch over the Divine Conclave, much to his dismay.

His vallaslin are of June, the elven God of craft, which fits him well :) despite his magic, Firuz always has a higher affinity for mending and crafting things the old fashioned way. while in Skyhold (less so in haven) he spends his free time crafting armor for his travelling companions and aiding in weapon crafting, which he is admittedly a little bit less good with. He absolutely adores Dalish leather and wood weaving but finds less time to commit to it while leading the inquisition :(

Game choices:

• Romanced Dorian

• Travelling party is Dorian, Cassandra, and Varric

• Specialization is rift mage :)

• War table missions mostly used Josephine and Lelianna

1. Allied with the mages

2. Left Alistair in the Fade :(

3. Kept the Wardens in Ferelden to rebuild

4. Brought Celene and Briala back together and had them rule Orlais as a duo (mostly)

5. Drank from the Well Of Sorrows (hence why his hair turned white 💀)

6. (Trespasser) vowed to stop Solas by any means necessary

7. (Trespasser) Disbands the inquisition

After the events of the main game, Firuz mostly spends his time hunting dragons and taking care of the remaining rifts around the south. He spends a lot of time recuperating from an absolute horror show of a hero's journey, and returning to passions he lost along the way. Firuz starts the game as quite overwhelmed and jumpy about his situation and by the end has mostly entered a state of numb depression. At no point does he take well to being the leader or the hope of the people.

In the few weeks before Trespasser where Dorian has returned to Tevinter "temporarily", Firuz takes as an opportunity to finally return to his Clan, at least for a brief visit. These few days really heal something in him, and give him a deceptively good feeling about the future, which is almost immediately destroyed by the events of Trespasser.

After losing his arm and his partner, he spends a lot of time running Jenny business with Sera, and travelling to visit his friends who have thus scattered to the wind. In particular, he makes good on Varric's offer to come visit in Kirkwall and spends many weeks there overseeing the rebuilding effort and spending time with Varric, Hawke and company. Alongside this, he stays with his Clan long term. Occasionally, he sneaks to Tevinter if permitted, but never for more than a few days. I'm so excited for what horrors DA:D will inflict upon his short-lived peace

SORRY FOR SO MANY WORDS I CANT HELP MYSELF

[milesmentis]

WiP Wednesday

Thanks @thedascharlatan! The tag actually motivated me to channel my Jowan brainrot into actual words. This is just a first pass (and I didn’t have time to get to the Jowan and Morrigan half of the scene, but maybe I”ll post it next week) but here’s some Jowan and Connor content:

A grinning Connor sprinted into the room. “Tutor Jowan!” He threw his arms around the surprised apostate, giving him a tight squeeze before stepping back, embarrassed by his sudden outburst. “I heard that you were here but I didn't believe it at first. Mother said -" the boy hesitated, voice growing uncertain - "that you had to be sent away. Because you had done something wrong. But I… I don't remember ... Father was sick and I ... wanted him to get better.” 

Connor's lip found its way between his teeth, worrying at it as he stared at the flagstones beneath his feet.  A knot of shame twisted in Jowan’s gut: he knew the boy's memories would probably return some day, but it didn't have to be today. 

"He wasn't the only one." Connor looked up and the maleficar gave him a reassuring smile. "You were sick too. Very sick. Serious fevers like that can play tricks on the mind, give you strange dreams. What matters is that you're better now and so is your father. Thanks to the Grey Wardens." 

Connor nodded slowly. "That's right," he repeated. "The Wardens saved us. Mother says they stopped the… the bad things that killed everyone. And then they brought back something to wake up Father." His eyes lit suddenly. "Is that where you’ve been? With the Grey Wardens?"

“That’s right,” Jowan lied, back tensing to suppress the shudder that ran down his spine. The Bann had been a far kinder jailer for the past two months than the Arlessa. He had been permitted an actual room, though one with no windows and templars standing on both sides of the door. It almost felt like he was home again. “After your mother sent me away, Warden Surana found me and asked for my help. In exchange, she’s going to make me a Warden like her.”

“Oh.” The excitement in the boy’s face faded as he asked, “Then when they leave tomorrow … you’ll be going with them.”

“I have to, Connor. That was the deal.”

“I’ll be leaving too,” the boy said dejectedly. “Father says that I need to go to the Circle. That there will be fighting soon and the Circle is a safer place to be. He says he … he can come visit me though.” Connor looked up hopefully. “Is that true?”

“Of course,” Jowan said. “Your father loves you. I’m sure he’ll visit often.” At first … for a while. “And there will be other apprentices your age. You can make friends there: it won’t just be you and me.”

“I’ll miss you though,” he admitted.

“I’ll miss you, too. But trust me -” He ruffled the boy’s hair as he lied, “there’s nothing for you to worry about.”

[shanaraharlyah]

I gave up on trying to think of a good title for this and am just posting it as it is (I finished the art a month ago and the doc file is up to 17 pages now. And that's not counting the numerous snippets in my phone). Here is the first 2055 words. Hope you guys enjoy!

Return to Redcliffe

Upon clearing the Circle Tower of demons, abominations and blood mages, Ysmeria returned to Redcliffe with First Enchanter Irving and the other mages in tow. When they arrived at the castle and entered the great hall, the air was still thick with the tension of the situation. Ser Perth stood guard near the entryway. He gave a smile and nod to the warden and her entourage as they strode into the hall. Teagan and Isolde stood at the opposite end, their demeanors couldn’t be more different. Teagan looked stern, as he had taken control of the situation since they’d left and needed to be the strong front until Eamon was cured. Isolde seemed drained and despondent, shoulders still slumping as they had the day they’d stormed the castle. The demon had not acted out since Ysmeria and her party had left for the circle, but clearly it granted her no peace, knowing it was still there in control of her son and could turn on them again at any time.

As they approached, another guard brought Jowan into the hall. The mage had been upstairs helping to watch Connor, as Teagan had suggested before the wardens left for Kinloch Hold. Ysmeria observed him sorrowfully. He had been her friend at the circle until he dragged her into a scheme to destroy his phylactery and escape the tower with Lily, the Chantry initiate he’d fallen in love with. She had initially agreed to help him, but when he resorted to blood magic to escape punishment, she felt betrayed. And now he had poisoned the Arl. He pleaded with her to help him atone and he agreed to help however he could. His suggestion to enter the Fade to confront the demon was the reason she’d returned to the circle for aid. Ysmeria could see the remorse in his eyes as he was led toward their group to participate in the coming conversation.

When everyone was finally gathered in the hall, they promptly began discussing the situation with Isolde. Teagan hung back by the fireplace, awaiting their decision and direction, but he couldn't help admiring the warden. She truly was stunning. She was not so very tall and was lean as he'd come to expect of elven women, but the cut and style of her robes accentuated her petite form. Her lovely face was framed by shockingly red curls that cascaded down over her Tevinter styled robes, in stark contrast to her shining, white bangs. Her skin was like blue-glazed porcelain marked with dark, gracefully curling makeup, or were they tattoos? He hadn't had the opportunity to see them closely enough to tell.

Watching her now took him back to their initial encounter inside the Redcliffe Chantry, recalling her determination to help and their playful flirtation. Was it possible they could have more? The way she'd shown interest in him, asked about his family and seemed to fret about his safety when he agreed to return to the castle with Isolde, told him she might share his rapidly developing feelings. He wasn't exactly subtle when he expressed his own interest in her, netting him some... interesting looks from Alistair. But now might not be the best time for all of this as he had much work to do with Eamon incapacitated and clearly she did as well....

His train of thought was interrupted when Ysmeria set her gaze upon him. He gave her a smile and nod when their eyes met, and she returned it.

"I will be the one to enter the fade to confront the demon," she said, looking back at Irving. Though she knew Jowan wished to help correct his mistake, she felt this task was her responsibility for her part in helping him escape the tower in the first place.

"Then it is settled," Irving replied, turning to Isolde, "Take us to the boy and we will begin the ritual at once."

"Yes," Isolde agreed. She turned to look at Teagan, who gestured for her to go. She complied and led them down the corridors and up the stairs to Connor's bedroom. Teagan fell in step behind the group.

When they reached the bedroom, Isolde dismissed the servant who had been watching over Connor, and moved to sit on the bed next to her son, "Everything is going to be alright, Connor. Just relax, these men have come to help," she explained, sliding an arm around her son's shoulders.

"Alright, mother, I'll try," the boy replied, looking around at the mages who encircled the bed.

Ysmeria's companions remained in the hallway, knowing there was nothing they themselves could do. Alistair watched from the doorway, all too aware that he was the only one here trained to deal with the consequences if something went terribly wrong.

Teagan came up behind Ysmeria and placed a strong hand on her shoulder, giving it an encouraging squeeze, "May the Maker watch over you, my lady."

She looked up at him to see his worried, but hopeful smile. Turning back to the other mages, she declared, "Ready when you are."

Irving gave her a nod and, looking around to see the others were also prepared, began the ritual. When the last words and gestures completed the spell, Ysmeria's body appeared to seize as her consciousness was sent into the fade to confront the demon. A moment later her body began to fall limply, and Teagan swooped in to catch her, lowering her carefully to the floor. He knelt behind her, holding her in his arms as he looked up at the First Enchanter for guidance.

"Now we wait, and ask the Maker to guide her in her task," Irving said. The other mages nodded and left the room to grant the family some privacy.

Teagan turned his gaze to the bed to see Isolde rocking her sleeping son, the worry showing clearly on her face and making her appear older than her years. All the trauma they'd faced these past weeks was taking its toll. If the warden hadn't shown up when she did... He didn't even want to think about it. He shut his eyes tightly and held her closer.

As the minutes ticked by, he began to worry that something had gone wrong and he was about to lose his nephew and the lovely lady he now held in his arms. He tried to take his mind off of the possibility by studying the elven maiden's face more closely. From this proximity he could tell the delicate markings on her face were tattoos, and he wondered if maybe she was of Dalish descent. He hadn't had much contact with their people since they tended to avoid humans, but he had heard of their skill in tattooing. Teagan absently brushed a fallen hair from Ysmeria's beautiful face and allowed his thumb to trail down her cheek. Her skin was so soft. He wished he could hold her forever, but prayed she would come back safely.

Teagan wasn't the only one praying in that moment. Leliana knelt in the hall imploring the Maker to watch over, guide and protect her friend in her task, while Alistair, leaning against the door frame, prayed he wouldn't need to use his templar training against the woman he'd grown to care for so much. Even Fen'Harel lay quietly, sad eyes moving from one companion to the next, feeling their worry and making himself anxious.

What had only been five minutes, felt like an eternity spent with the tension permeating the room. And suddenly Ysmeria's eyes began to flutter. Teagan's heart pounded in his chest. He prayed she'd been successful and not been seduced by the demon. When she opened her eyes, she stared right up at him and lifted a hand to his face. He caught it in his, pressing it to his cheek, closing his eyes and releasing the breath he’d been holding before moving to kiss her fingertips. "Glad to have you back, my lady," he smiled, "Were you..."

He was cut off by an emotional cry from across the room, "Oh, Connor!" All eyes were on the Arlessa who was holding her son tightly in relief. "You're alright!" she exclaimed, tears in her eyes.

"Ow, mother, you're hurting me!" the boy complained as she squeezed him in her arms.

Teagan looked back at the warden who was still resting against him. "Yes," she replied to his half asked question, "I defeated the demon. It won't be troubling you any further."

"Thank the Maker!" Teagan breathed a sigh of relief, "And thank you, my lady."

She smiled back at him, "It was my pleasure to be of assistance." She had never met a man quite so polite and kind as Teagan. It could certainly be just the courtesy instilled by his noble upbringing, but something in his smile and the way he interacted with her told her it was all genuine.

"I know we still have much ahead of us, but I believe you and your companions deserve a rest in a comfortable bed this evening," Teagan continued, while tenderly caressing her exposed arm with his thumb, "as do we all. I will have the servants fix dinner and prepare rooms for all of you.” Turning his gaze to the bed, “Isolde, take all of the time that you need, for tomorrow we must discuss our next steps."

Isolde nodded, expressing her thanks to her brother-in-law and went back to fussing over her son. Teagan reached out and took Ysmeria's hands, helping her to her feet and spinning her around to face him, "Take Alistair and your companions down to the great hall. If you need anything, the servants can get it for you. I will join you shortly."

"Of course," she replied. Teagan's hands lingered on hers until she turned to leave with Alistair, Leliana and Fen'Harel following behind. He watched her go before turning back to Irving.

"She is quite remarkable, isn't she?" Irving commented, taking the Bann by surprise. Teagan blushed, a childish reaction he thought himself well beyond at his age. Apparently his attentions hadn't been as subtle as he'd thought.

"Indeed, she is," he replied, taking back his composure. "And so freely giving. I don't think I've ever met anyone like her."

"Nor are you likely to again," Irving added. "She is something special. I wouldn't let her slip through your fingers, if I were you. She is free of the circle now and her life is dedicated to the Wardens, but there may yet be room for more if she is so inclined. Not that I should encourage such things."

Teagan felt the heat return to his face. This man was too good at finding the gaps in his defenses. "Thank you for your advice, First Enchanter. Now, you and your men are also welcome to stay the night if you wish. I can have the servants prepare for your company."

"That's quite alright, my lord. I have much to do to aid with the recovery of the circle, so it would be best if we were on our way. But thank you for your gracious hospitality." Irving bowed to the Bann in gratitude.

“Surely you could stay for a hot meal with us while I have a ship readied for your return to Kinloch Hold. It’s the least we can do.”

“That is a generous offer, my lord. I suppose we can stay to sup since you’ve all but eliminated our journey home.”

"Excellent! And thank you again for coming to help save my nephew. I can't bear to imagine what could have been without your aid," Teagan clapped a hand on the mage's shoulder in a gesture of thanks.

"It is what we live for, my lord. Now, I shall take my leave. May the Maker watch over you all." Irving turned and bowed to the Arlessa and her son before sweeping out of the room.

Teagan turned back to Isolde, "Let me know if there is anything you need. I'll take care of everything for the evening and have dinner sent up if you so desire."

"Thank you, Teagan," Isolde replied, reaching for his hand and giving it a squeeze.

The Bann nodded, squeezing back before turning to leave and to inform the servants of the necessary preparations for the evening.

[mage-asunder]

pinned post

my characters - picrews above and in-game below

aurora is a mage who was brought up in the circle tower. while she had aspired to becoming the first enchanter one day, she is surprised to find warden and then warden-commander not a poor substitute. having a platonic thing going on with alistair probably helps. missed her childhood a bit, to the extent that she recruited jowan into the wardens; but when he disappeared after the defeat of the archdemon, she must at last grow out of him and into her new life

mirabel hawke is a mage and professional disaster. she never intends malice or spite but nevertheless can’t quite get things to go how people might like. loves kirkwall much more than she cares to admit. embarks on a passionate and turbulent love-affair with anders, but this becomes increasingly strained as she starts to feel trapped in his narrative. does not disagree with him in the end, but no longer loves him as she did, and runs away to sea with isabela

pauline (polly) trevelyan is my inquisitor. she was previously a literacy tutor to the very young children at ostwick, having little magical talent to speak of, and during the rebellion was a sort of conscientious objector. while this position is gradually forced out of her through necessity, in ultimately settling with josephine she hopes never to have to do such a thing again

georgiana cousland is one of the party who goes for the urn of sacred ashes. aurora later rescues her in denerim, after she was imprisoned for trying to get revenge on howe. potentially ends up going to kirkwall and travelling round the free marches with sebastian

writing

i probably won’t post so many of my da fics as i have of elder scrolls works, but i nevertheless may post bits and pieces. i have made a pseud on ao3 for them which you may find at mage asunder

[laurelsofhighever]

The Falcon and the Rose Ch. 64 - Bridges Built and Burned

Chapter Rating: Teen Chapter Warnings: description of a panic/anxiety attack Relationships: Alistair/Female Cousland Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, Fereldan Civil War AU - No Blight, Romance, Angst, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Misunderstandings, Canon-Typical Violence, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort

Read it on AO3 or start at Chapter 1

----------

Twelfth day of Haring, 9:31 Dragon

An air of calm followed Rosslyn over the following days as she settled into the limitations the mages put on her for her recovery. In the beginning, she chafed at not being allowed to do more, but after the first hour-long meeting with Cailan and his surviving advisors left her grey-faced and staring into thin air, she gave in to her convalescence with barely a grumble. Anora, at least, understood her need to be doing something, even if beneath the graceful manners and elegant pours of tea every conversation with the queen felt like a test, a way to pry out her inclinations and posture over the king’s good opinion. Perhaps the suspicion was merely a holdover from too many years of habit, a wariness for the woman who had been set up as her rival before she even left the schoolroom, but it didn’t make their talks any less exhausting.

Far more pleasant was the extra time she got to spend with Alistair. Charming as ever, he kept as much in her company as he could with all her duties loaded on his shoulders, taking her out onto the battlements or to see Cuno, or tucked up in the warmth of the library so they could go through paperwork together. The normalcy of it felt strange after almost a year of sleeping with only a thin sheet of canvas to keep out the weather, and the routine and bustle of an army camp to keep her from thinking too deeply of home. Now home was the reality, complete with the familiar comforts and faces she had left behind, even if the fit was slightly off, like a favourite shirt pulled out of shape after one too many launderings.

On the third day, she even managed to sneak away. It was good to have a little rebellion, despite her reluctance to go further than either seeing Lasan in the stables, or to the kennel to check on Cuno’s recovery. Her dog’s missing foreleg had done nothing to quell his excitement when she had first stepped into the runs, his fits of whistling sneezes setting all the others off in mad barking so they wouldn’t be left out. Only Alistair’s sharp check for her injuries had stopped the dog bowling her over, but he had pushed into her face nonetheless, anxious as a nursemaid as she buried her head against his neck and erupted into sobs. He was still wobbly on his feet and a little incontinent, thanks to the medicines mixed by the healers, but otherwise he had recovered well.

“A few more days, and the mages say they can start to wean him off their potions,” Gareth informed her now as they watched his eyelids droop from the latest dose.

“That’s good,” she answered, smiling. “Then he can come upstairs and stop howling the walls down every time I have to leave.”

“Daft sod. Uh – I mean –”

“You’re the one living with him,” Rosslyn allowed. “If anyone’s earned the right to call him that, it’s you.”

Gareth chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck. “He’s a good lad, mind.”

“He is.”

On her way back to the keep, she turned right instead of left beyond the harness room, and followed the stairs down towards the cells claimed from the old Alamarri settlement on the hill. Guilt prodded her steps, and intrigue. A question that had bothered her since finding out how her dog had survived. The guards posted to the vestibule at the bottom snapped to attention when they saw her coming, though the nervous glance they shared betrayed more than simple surprise.

“I’m here to see the blood mage,” she announced, before they could ask, or tell her to go away. When they hesitated, as if she were no more than a mere servant wanting to satisfy her curiosity, she drew herself up and stared them down.

“With all due respect, Ma’am, that man is maleficar, he canna be trusted.”

“And with no templars in the keep –”

“Am I still the Teyrna of Highever, or has something changed in the last half an hour?” she demanded. “Your concern for my safety is noted, but you wear the Laurels and you will stand aside at my orders.”

Defeated, the guards shared another glance before the one with the keys led the way to the right cell. The weight of the rock pressed down on her, almost as heavy as the darkness crowding around the oil-burning lanterns set in alcoves in the wall.

“Leave me the light, and lock the door behind me,” she commanded.

“Aye, Your Ladyship.”

She held the lantern high as she stepped into the cell – the same one that so lately had housed Fergus, though she tried not to think about it, or the animalistic odour lingering in the stone. The blood mage huddled in the far corner, flinching away from the light as it fell on him, but not fast enough that her breath didn’t catch. He was thinner now, and the scruff on his face had lengthened into a thin beard, but the lank hair and pale skin were the same as they had been when she confronted Howe. Pushing the memories away, she looked further and noted the cloth wrapped around his manacles to stop him cutting himself on the sharp edges, though she doubted that would be much of a barrier to one determined to make themselves bleed. That he hadn’t resorted to those desperate measures counted for him – but then, perhaps he was just patient.

“Jowan,” she said, as the lock clicked behind her.

When he turned to her, he had to blink until his eyes adjusted to the light, and when he recognised her, trepidation stiffened every muscle in his body.

“Your – I mean, my lady?” He coughed. “I’m sorry, I’m not sure how all these different title things work.”

“Your Ladyship,” she affirmed. “To you, anyway. I’m told you’re the one responsible for saving my dog’s life.”

A hasty, terrified nod.

“Then I owe you my thanks. He’s doing well, almost back to his old self.”

“I – I’m glad to hear it, Your Ladyship,” he managed.

Rosslyn let the silence stretch. As the moments passed under what Alistair called her general’s stare she watched the mage fidget and drop his gaze to the floor, covering his arms across his body as best he could. Good; if he were flustered, she would more easily spot a lie.

“I want to know why you did it,” she said at last.

“Uh…”

“Why didn’t you let him die when you already had a hand in the deaths of so many others?”

Jowan’s eyes flicked to hers in what might have been defiance, but it was gone too quickly to be sure. “I never wanted to kill anyone,” he confessed. “I only ever wanted to live free of the Circle. I don’t know if you have any idea what it was like there –”

“I saw what it became,” she replied, gently.

“That’s right. I heard about what Uldred did. He was the one who taught me about blood magic. If I’d been braver…” He swallowed. “But I was just an apprentice, and he was one of the senior enchanters – I knew they’d never believe me if I said anything, they’d just… All I wanted was to escape. I’m not that good at magic, I was never like Surana or Clement or Karyna, and there were always so many horror stories about the Harrowing, I knew they’d kill me or make me Tranquil for sure.” He seemed to realise he was speaking too quickly, and sighed to centre himself. “But I was caught trying to get into the phylactery chamber. I had no choice. I wanted to protect Lily, but she… I don’t know what they did to her.”

“Who’s Lily?” Rosslyn asked.

“I love her. But when I… Maker’s breath, she looked at me like I was a monster. The thought that she might have paid for my crime…”

She recognised the spiral he was about to fall into, had been there herself. Steady, she leaned into his eyeline and repeated her first question. “Why did you save my dog’s life?”

“Because it was the right thing to do,” he replied, looking up from his hands at last. “I was too afraid before, but you stood up to him, even after everything he said. Howe and Loghain threatened to hand me over to the templars if I didn’t do what they asked, but when I saw what you did, I couldn’t sit by anymore.” He straightened, and for the first time met her eye without hesitation. “That’s the truth. I’ve made so many mistakes, disappointed so many people – I wish I could go back and fix it. I don’t know if anything I do could ever make it right.”

With a sigh, Rosslyn lowered the lantern. “His Majesty has asked for my opinion on what should be done with you. As it stands, the templars are not in a position to take you back to the Circle, but nor can he just let you go.”

“I understand, Your Ladyship.”

“For my own part,” she went on, “I am grateful for what you did, but it wouldn’t be fair to weigh one life against the many more you’ve caused to suffer.”

At that, the mage slumped, though his expression lacked surprise. “I know it probably doesn’t mean anything, but I do wish I could go back and fix everything.” He licked his lips. “Thank you for coming to see me, anyway, for… giving me a chance to talk. It means a lot.”

“No decision has been made yet,” she told him, without quite knowing why.

He offered her a smile as she called for the guard, but it was thin and faded quickly. His eyes followed the swing of the door as it was opened, and as she ducked through back into the corridor, she didn’t look back. The second guard had followed his mate to watch her, and he saluted. The door slammed. She almost turned away, but something about his manner stopped her, a nervousness more sensed than seen, and while she couldn’t source it, it brought her notice to his posture, the way he stood not by the wall but in the middle of the corridor as if to herd her back the way she had come. Considering she had already escaped Jowan’s cell unscathed, it made little sense.

“What’s down there?” she asked, with a jut of her chin.

“No one.” The guard’s eyes flew wide. “That’s – nothing. I meant, ‘nothing’. Your Ladyship.”

She advanced on him, just a step. “Who is down there?”

“Uh… It’s really nothing to concern yourself with,” he tried again, but before she could squeeze anymore out of him, a dry, nasally voice trickled through the cracks in the stone walls and turned her blood to ice.

“Is that a visitor for little old me? Do hurry up, I’ve got a busy schedule.”

The guard tried to push in front of her. “Your –”

“Give me the keys,” she growled.

She didn’t even wait to be given them, instead snatched the ring out of the guard’s half-obedient hand, already marching forward. Her fingers shook. Disbelief raged through her blood. Her heart beat so loudly she didn’t hear the key when she turned it in the lock, but when the door swung open, with the light spilling through around her against the opposite wall, even that seemed to stop.

Howe’s face was obscured by dirt and a grey tangle of beard, layers of old bandages wrapped around his head crusted with blood on the left side, his skin saggy from lost weight, but the hooked nose and narrow, polecat eyes would be recognisable anywhere. It was like being stabbed again. She wanted to vomit.

The swine smirked at her. “Well, well, well. This is an unexpected pleasure.”

She tried to focus on his chains, his clothes, how the once-bright satin hung off him in tatters. “They found you.”

Her lungs wouldn’t work. How long had he been kept in the dungeon – under her feet? Why was he still alive? Why had nobody told her?

“I suppose it was too much to hope Loghain might have killed you,” he drawled, as if remarking about a small bet on a slow horse. “You’ve shown such an infuriating talent for survival – or maybe it’s just that so many people are willing to die in your place.” His eyes glittered. “Your father, your people, your dog –”

“You didn’t kill him,” she snapped. “He lives.”

“Oh? Pity.”

“What are you doing here?” Every word ground like glass on her tongue.

At this, Howe looked absolutely delighted. “Me?” he repeated. “I am here on the king’s invitation.”

“You’re a lopsided old man sitting in his own shit in a dungeon.” The wound in her side ached. She couldn’t stop shaking. “You have nothing left. And you’ll die a traitor’s death.”

“Will I?” he asked. “And what about you? You seem surprised to see me. Nobody told you I was here, did they? Not your crippled excuse for a brother, or the king, or even your dear princey-wincey. It must hurt, thinking you’re so important, so grown up, only to find those closest to you have so little regard for you. imagine not even telling you they’re secretly hiding your greatest enemy in your own keep!”

A pause, to let the realisation settle, but even though she knew what he was doing her feet were rooted to the stone and every barb stung and her mind stuck on the sight of him and it whisked away to what he had done, what he had wanted to do –

“They still consider you a child, just like your father when he sent you away. Do you want to know what his last words were? The look in his eyes when he realised I was the one who had brought him what he finally deserved?” He laughed. “And your mother. Do you want to know how long it took her to die? How many arrows –”

“ENOUGH!”

He fell silent, still smirking as if he weren’t manacled in a prison cell, as if this confrontation were a victory, and revulsion crawled so far up her throat she could no longer breathe. She reeled away from the door like a drunkard, vaguely aware of the guards calling her name. Her lantern slipped form nerveless fingers and smashed.

“If he speaks again, cut out his tongue.”

If she spoke the words out loud, she couldn’t tell. The only thought in her head was the need to leave, to run, never mind the ache in her side and the jumble of questions stirred up in her mind like wind-scattered leaves. The whos and hows and whens swirled before her eyes, until her legs buckled and a sharp pain in her knees found her halfway up the stairs to the keep. A sob lurched in her throat, caught only by the hand she slapped across her mouth. Tears came unbidden. She bit her lips together and forced her lungs to still against the heaving breaths they tried to gouge out of the air, to keep silent in case the soldiers heard her, in case they came looking.

It was the pain from her wound that finally calmed her weeping, the fact that every cut-off inhale sent a jagged line of fire from her ribs to her hip, but with it her mind was allowed to drift from the blank panic of needing to keep quiet, and a seed of thought sprouted in the dark. She hadn’t known about Howe’s capture, but someone had ordered the guards to keep watch. Someone had kept this information from her, ordered them to keep it from her. The spark of realisation set among her tremors like dry tinder and flared into real, scalding anger.

It had her body in its grip before her mind decided where to go, drove her only up, past a startled maid on her way from the kitchen, past Cailan and Anora arm in arm with only the most instinctive of obeisances, before she reached the second floor of the keep, her family’s private level, the pull of her wound worsening with every step but not enough to stop her.

“My lady, what –”

But she swept away again before Graela had time to finish her question or drop the linens being folded on the bed. The Cousland sword clinked as she plucked it from its corner in white-knuckled hands. She had carried it through battle and fire and the swell of the Waking Sea, and now she had only a few strides left until she reached her brother’s temporary room.

Amell, tending him, jumped away with a small shriek as Rosslyn kicked in the door. Fury took her to the bed, where Fergus hastily flung the covers over to hide the truth of his atrophied legs.

“Rosslyn, what –”

“This is yours,” she snarled, and flung the blade onto the mattress by his hand.

“Father’s sword?” He glanced from it, back to her. “I don’t understand –”

“I was going to talk to you about it,” she rushed. “About the title and who should have it and what we would do next – but why should I bother if you’ve already decided to shut me out of decisions that are mine to make by right!”

“Rosslyn –”

“I know Howe is here!” she thundered, and her lips bared in a feral smile as he winced. “You didn’t think to tell me you’d found the man who slaughtered our entire family?”

How dare he. How dare he take this from her. Her breath came in spurts, her nails biting into her palms, flesh washing hot and cold as if night and day were chasing over her skin.

“I didn’t want –”

“He’s sitting beneath us right now and you thought you could keep it from me? How long has he been there? How long have you been lying to me? Was it before I woke up, or after? Those soldiers down there were wearing the Blue, plain as day, and only one person could tell them to lie to my face. How could you –”

“Your Ladyship, your wound.” Amell started forward. “It would be best if you –”

“Get away from me.”

“Don’t snap at her,” Fergus chided, as if he had the right, then slumped. “How did you find out?”

“What does it matter when you didn’t tell me?” she cried. “You’re my brother! You should understand! What, do you think I’m still a child who should be kept away from the kitchen knives? While you were cringing away in that dungeon doing nothing I was out leading armies, fighting for our people’s freedom! I did everything expected of me and more to get back here! I retook this castle! And yet none of that means anything?”

“You were still recovering,” he ground out, but the excuse only made her anger flare hotter.

“I have hunted him for a year, I had to read report after report of everything he did, I saw what happened to Canavan and Gilmore, and Mother, and Father, and I led Highever’s army away and into war even though it was the last thing I wanted to do! And you, meanwhile, can’t even find the guts to walk ten steps to your own room! You’re a coward. How dare you make decisions for me? The monster responsible for everything we’ve been through has been locked away right beneath our feet and you’re just sat here as if you don’t even care!”

“Don’t you dare tell me I don’t care!” he roared, his own anger finally let loose. “He took everything from me – everything. I couldn’t lose you as well. We thought it best –”

But she pounced on that word like a jackal. “We?” she repeated. Spots danced in front of her eyes now that her battle rage was burning itself out. She clutched at her side, felt something wet seeping through the fabric of her dress, but his blanch turned her stomach more than the agony gritting her teeth.

“We wanted to protect you,” Fergus insisted.

“Alistair knows.”

Her legs crumpled. She had to catch herself on the bedpost, and in the confusion that followed, Amell’s hands pressed over hers with cool words of reassurance, a shoulder under her arm hoisting her up, her brother reaching for her from so far away – and him in the doorway, transfixed, horrified.

“Graela told me you were…”

She swallowed past the knot of tears gathering sharp at the back of her throat and turned to the enchanter. “I – I can’t breathe.”

“You’ve torn the muscle layers. Here –”

Alistair darted in to help as she staggered forwards on Amell’s arm, but she pierced him with such a glare he stopped short, mouth slack with a look of puppyish hurt that woke a vindictive squeeze of satisfaction in her chest. She vaguely heard him exchanging low, desperate words with Fergus as she limped back to her own room, a curse, and then tentative footsteps as she was eased down into a chair by the fire. Now that she had opportunity to notice, every tiny shift of her clothes over her reopened wound tugged at the edges like fishhooks.

“Rosslyn.”

“This isn’t your room,” she growled at him. Air hissed between her teeth. She couldn’t tell if it was the pain causing the sting at the corner of her eyes.

“I’m sorry.”

Pushing down the discomfort she let her eyes fall on him, taking him in, hunched shoulders and hands wringing with the suppressed need to reach for her. “You’re sorry you were found out,” she corrected, slowly, with only the barest wobble in her voice before she turned her gaze to the hearth.

A pause, and then a sigh.

“Riley and half a squad of infantry brought him back two days ago. They found him with Loren and Mother Berit. It seems Loren decided favour with the Maker was worth more than his loyalty to the Crown.”

“And yet I didn’t hear a thing about it,” she replied. “You lied to me. To my face. Even though you knew what he meant to me.” The struggle to keep her voice level was one she was losing, but between the threatening tears and the words she had already hurled at Fergus, her throat ached as if she had swallowed smoke. And still her anger smouldered. “Ever since the battle you’ve treated me like I’m incapable of even standing on my own feet, like I’m a fool who can’t be trusted to drink out of a proper goblet. Fergus doesn’t surprise me, but you – How could you keep this from me?”

Alistair threw his hands up in exasperation. “Because I was afraid something like this would happen! Every time Howe turns up you get this – this intense focus and you stop caring about anything else. You push yourself, and you hurt yourself, and you get so blinded by the idea of vengeance you turn into someone I barely recognise!”

“I don’t turn into anyone!” she shot back, staggering upright once more.

“No, you should sit –”

She slapped his hand away. “This is me, and it’s not something that can be tucked away out of sight just because you find it distasteful. What do you think I was doing all those months you sat so cosily under that mountain? I killed people. I’ve lost count of how many, not to mention all the others that were sent to die on my orders. Why shouldn’t I seek vengeance?” she demanded. “Howe deserves to die. He deserves every ounce of suffering I can wring out of him.”

“There – that’s it right there!” he shot back. “You’re so focussed on how he hurt you, you can’t see how it’s twisting you into something exactly like him!”

“‘How he hurt me’?” Incredulous, she could only stare at him. “He ruined my life! Are you saying I shouldn’t be angry about everything he’s done?”

“This isn’t anger, this is blackness, and you’re letting it consume you.”

“He murdered my family!” she shouted. “He pretended to be my father’s friend for years and then he slaughtered him like an animal! Doesn’t it matter what he did to Cuno, to my people – what he was planning to do to me? He has caused so much pain and he deserves all of it back again –”

“And how would you do that?” Alistair challenged, in a voice like steel. “He’s one man – you can only kill him once.”

“I’d find a way – I will find a way to make it right. I let him go at West Roth and I have regretted it ever since!”

He drew back at that, as if she had struck him.

“I can’t do it again,” she promised. “I won’t.”

“And this isn’t a path I can see you walk down. I won’t watch you destroy yourself.”

Until that moment, she hadn’t noticed the physical distance separating them. There was hurt in his eyes, but also a plea to a part of her still reeling from the blow of being lied to – that he had lied to her about the one thing she had wanted for almost a year – and it channelled her rage into something colder, harder, like the slow of a river freezing into winter ice.

“Then get out,” she said.

He stepped towards her instead. She looked away, stiff, shoulders straight, a dismissal she had learned in her time at court when pretending someone didn’t exist was the biggest insult of all.

“Damn your pride,” he spat, after a long moment of watching her. She followed the stomp of his boots to the doorway with her face still turned to the window, refusing to be cowed, and when he paused, she braced for whatever curses he would choose.

“You saved my life at West Roth, in case you didn’t remember. I hope you don’t regret that as well.”

And then he was gone, and the anger clutching at her heart unspooled, and when her breath came back it was the sharp, desperate gasp of a sob as she fell to her knees.

[vulptilla]

My actual oc page has been under construction since forever, so I promised to make some kind of an introduction post for my canon trio.

Long story short, meet my precious all-mage panel. From left to right, there is a disaster bisexual blood mage Faenel Amell, another disaster bisexual blood mage Katla Hawke & the most purest cinnamon roll Iliana Trevelyan, a former Tranquil who has done nothing wrong in her entire life. Behind the links you will find their own specific tags cluttered with art, screenshots, memes and various other stuff about them. 

Katla and Iliana even have their own faux Wiki pages, commissioned from the most awesome @tk-duveraun​. <3

Their “short” bios can be found under the cut. 

(Oh, and now when I remember, this is probably the best time to mention that I’m also up for all kinds of rp and other oc interaction stuff, too.)

Faenel is a former Circle mage who never particularly enjoyed his life in the tower, but he didn’t hate it either, at least not enough to attempt escape. He was always interested in studying blood magic (purely academically, of course), but nevertheless he was surprised to learn that Jowan, his best friend and occasional lover, had dabbled in it. He knew he should have known better, but still agreed to help He knew he should have known better, but still agreed to help Jowan and Lily with their plan—and as we know, everything went downhill from there.

Under different circumstances he even may have not agreed with being recruited for the Grey Wardens, but in his rather hopeless situation he didn’t even consider refusing Duncan. In retrospect, getting away not only from the tower but also from the Knight-Commander’s wrath was the second best thing that had ever happened to him.

The best was meeting Morrigan. He became fascinated with her intelligence, sharp wit and overall unique way of thinking, but unfortunately he was such a selfish prick back then. When Morrigan asked him to slay Flemeth, he agreed to do it, but when Flemeth offered him a way out of it, he took it and lied Morrigan about it. He didn’t expect it would matter, not until he agreed to perform Morrigan’s ritual with her. He didn’t care anything else than surviving the upcoming battle, and he was mighty fine with knowing that Morrigan would leave afterwards. 

After the battle Morrigan was indeed gone and Faenel was the celebrated Hero of Ferelden. He spent a couple of months in Denerim court as a honor guest of newly crowned King Alistair and Queen Anora. For a short period of time he truly enjoyed all those luxuries and privileges he had, but soon he realised that everything tasted like ashes. He felt empty inside and didn’t really like the person he had become during his time in the court. His past deeds and aloofness haunted him, and after carefully planning everything, he left the capital to begin his search for Morrigan. He had realised that he actually wanted to be part of his unborn child’s life. 

He found Morrigan and they spent a couple of years together with the baby Kieran, until he finally told the truth about Flemeth. Morrigan wasn’t *that* angry with him (basically meaning that she didn’t murder him at the spot), acknowledging that she might have done the same, but it didn’t change the fact that Flemeth being alive was a threat to Kieran. They agreed that Faenel should leave to find her and finish the job. 

His search for Flemeth lasted for years, taking him to foreign countries and uncharted lands, but it all was in vain. He patiently followed her tracks for years only to find out that she had already left way before his arrival—but he never gave up. He wanted to do this one thing right in his life.

After a few years of unsuccesful searching the Mage-Templar conflict forced him to turn back and travel to Skyhold. He didn’t expect to find his family there, and he most definitely didn’t expect to hear that Morrigan had drunk from the Well of Sorrows and thus become bound to Mythal—or in other words, Flemeth.

— — —

Katla was never part of the Circle, due to her parents’ efforts to keep her hidden from templars, but she grew to fear and loathe the Order and its’ ways nevertheless. She grew up praying every day for safe return of her father who used to take various mercenary jobs to keep his family fed.

By the time the Blight forced her family to flee Lothering she had assumed the role of the protector of her family. She blamed herself for Bethany’s death. She swore that she would not let anything bad happen to Carver. She wanted to keep him close, but she also wanted to protect him from harm, and her trying to have control over her brother’s life only drove him more apart. She didn’t take him with her to the Deep Roads expedition only to learn that he had joined the Templar Order during her absence. They fought over it, and in result Katla refused to speak to him anymore, feeling betrayed by her own brother. She later realised that she was wrong about it, but they were never able to fix their relationship during her time in Kirkwall.

She never wanted to resort to blood magic, but it simply seemed to be the only choice for a mage who wanted to survive in Kirkwall. She despised herself for it, but she saw no other way to protect her loved ones from harm. 

Soon after meeting Anders she became infatuated with him. They basically made the rest of their friends mad with their constant flirting, but they both happened to have too much on their plates, thus they never took the next step in their relationship. They stayed close friends, and after a few years of loneliness Katla ended up with the templar Thrask. Their relationship was highly inconvenient and they never able to be together openly since it would have given too much leverage to Knight-Commander Meredith who was known to be preying on any opportunity to knock Katla — the Champion of Kirkwall and a fierce defender of mage rights—off her pedestal and drag her into the Gallows.  

After Thrask’s unexpected death she became more desperate that she had ever been before. She had always used alcohol to cope with her past failures, but now she didn’t even want to leave her estate anymore. Anders was there for her, comforting her and keeping her from any further self-harming than she had already done to herself. They grew closer, but agreed to not bring any kind of romantic aspect into it, feeling that they would be only taking advantage on each other. 

After defeating Meredith they escaped the city together and were never seen again, not until Varric contacted Katla and invited her to Skyhold. 

— — —

As the eldest child of two, Iliana was raised to become the heir of her noble family, but instead she was sent to the Circle as soon as her magic manifested. It was a big surprise—and disappointment—to her parents, but they never abandoned their firstborn child. Lord Trevelyan’s money ensured that she was kept safe from harm in the Circle, and she occasionally got to meet with her family. She adjusted to her new life quite well, although she was somewhat afraid of her own powers and never enjoyed her mandatory spellcasting lessons as much as she did enjoy studying magical theory in solitude in the quiet library. She was particularly interested in spirits and the Fade. 

She was in her teens when she began to have terrifying nightmares. She told her mentor about her nighttime struggles and the mentor—who was genuinely concerned of her wellbeing but also a firm believer of traditional ways—suggested that she should undergo the Rite of Tranquility. She was afraid of her upcoming Harrowing and ended up agreeing with her mentor. 

When the Mage-Templar conflict broke out, most of the Tranquil mages were left to the wolves, but Iliana’s mentor took care of her. They both attended the Conclave, and in result Iliana was cured of her Tranquility by being touched of the Spirit of Justinia. She was brought to Haven to be questioned. No one seemed to care of her highly unstable state of mind, not until she met with Cole, who was the first to truly understand and be able to help her with her struggles.

After some time she realised that she realised that she had fallen in love with Josephine. Her advisor was always gentle and kind and never aggressive or coarse. She felt comfortable in Josephine’s company, which couldn’t have been said of her other advisors. Cullen’s background made her extremely uncomforable, and she also found Leliana intimidating (until she found out their shared fascination with nugs).

As the Inquisitor Iliana did her best to restore peace and help her fellow mages whenever she could. After learning the truth about the Rite of Tranquility and the Seekers of Truth, she became devoted to fight for Tranquil rights. 

Iliana ended up preserving the Inquisition as a peacekeeping organization under Divine Victoria (namely, Leliana). 

[katieswinforddiaries]

Love Will Find A Way: A Follow Up One Shot To My Cullen Rutherford One Shot Secret Moments

Summery: Kat has to break off her new found relationship with Cullen when she gets recruited for the Grey Wardens, but fate isn’t finished with them yet.

Author’s Note: So I debated a lot about how I wanted to follow up the Secret Moments one shot and ended up deciding on a mix of feels and fluff that I really hope you guys like. Please let me know what you all think. Inspired by  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SnKDXTckacs Also the first part of this story can be found at. http://katieswinforddiaries.tumblr.com/post/177979079853/secret-moments-a-dragon-age-origins-cullen-one

Rating: T

           In the course of an afternoon Kat’s whole world seemed to fall apart. One moment she was sneaking away from her little tryst with Cullen and before she hardly knew it she was helping Jowan. When he explained that he was in love she couldn’t turn her back on him. If it had been her in his shoes wanting to just be with Cullen she was sure that he would have done the same for her, but of course that was before she realized he was a blood mage. Then of course she went from terrified she was about to be captured to overwhelmed as she agreed to join the Grey Wardens. She was on her way out when she noticed Cullen watching her looking more then upset with her.

             “Can I have a moment? To say goodbye to someone important to me?” She asked Duncan.

             “Make it quick we really must be on our way.” He replied before she rushed over to Cullen.

             “You’re leaving.” He said as she reached him.

             “I have to. They would have punished me. He only wanted to be with the woman he loved. Surely you can understand that.” She replied.

             “Of course I understand, but you were just going to leave. You wouldn’t have even said goodbye if I hadn’t been here. We just decided to risk being together.” He pointed out.

             “I didn’t want to risk getting you in trouble asking to see you.” She explained.

             “Don’t go.” He begged. “We can make this work.”

             “If I stay the Chantry will punish me and you know it. I want to be with you I really do. I suppose we just have to hope that if we are truly meant to be that the maker will bring us together again in a situation where we have the freedom to be just the two of us.” She replied.

             “How can you be so hopeful? You’ll become a Grey Warden and you won’t have freedom to be just you.” Cullen pointed out. “We’ll both grow and change.”

             “Because I believe that the maker brought us together for a reason and that we are meant to be together.” Kat told him. “My heart is yours Cullen never forget that.”

             “And mine is yours Kat.” He promised. “Can I at least kiss you one last time?” He asked.

             “They’re watching. I wish you could.” She told him. “Until we see each other again my love.” She added before leaving. Over the next several years you did your best to make a life for yourself, but part of you still held onto hope that one day you would be reunited with your first love, the adorable and sweet awkward boy who had stolen your heart so easily. Years later you were more then a little surprised when you heard a vaguely familiar voice call your name as you were walking trough a crowded market. When you turned around you couldn’t believe your eyes. Of course he had matured and looked different, but you could still tell who it was. It was your beloved Cullen right there in the flesh.

             “I wasn’t sure it was really you. It’s been so long.” He told you in awe.

             “I knew it was you right away. You’re even more handsome, but I’d still know you anywhere.” She told him.

             “You… you would?” He asked.

             “Of course. It’s not every day you see your first love who also happened to have taken your virginity.” She teased.

             “That was a very long time ago.” Cullen awkwardly laughed as he rubbed the back of his neck.

             “Very true.” Kat laughed. “The years have been good to you Commander.” She added. “I’ve heard of your success.”

             “As they a have to you, Hero of Ferelden. I heard about your adventures as well.” He replied with a grin. “Would you like to grab a drink and catch up?” He asked shyly. “Or are you too busy?”

             “I would honestly love that.” She told him. The next several hours just seemed to fly by. It almost felt like it had been a few days instead of years since She had last seen him as she remembered old stories and times together back at the tower.

             “Do you ever think about it?”  He asked.

             “Think about what?” She asked.

             “Us. What our life would be like now if you hadn’t left?” He asked.

             “All the time.  I imagined most everything you could think of. My favorite was the two of us secretly marrying and running away together.” She laughed. “What about you? Do you think about it?”

             “The thought may have crossed my mind.” He admitted obviously amused. “I always imagined we would have gotten married. Perhaps have a few children and a dog.” He laughed.

             “That sounds wonderful. And at least I was right. Maybe this is our sign.” She replied.

             “What do you mean? What sign?” Cullen asked obviously puzzled.

             “Our sign from the maker that we’re meant to be together.” She laughed. “Think about it. All those years ago I told you I had faith that we were meant to be together and here we are years later. We’ve both changed and made lives for ourselves, but we still here and want to be together. I truly think it’s meant to be.”

             “You don’t know the things I’ve seen. I’m not that same awkward boy you knew all those years ago.” Cullen laughed.

             “And I’m not the same girl who let you take her virginity in a pantry.” Kat retorted. “I’m serious Cullen. We’ve both seen darkness over the years, but we still found each other again. I think we should at least try again. This time for real.”

             “I can not think of anything I would like more.” He insisted. “I have missed you for years now.

             “Well them kiss me Commander. I’m waiting.” She teased. And within seconds she was right back in the one place that had truly always felt at home, in his arms, and she full intended to stay there. All she had to say was Maker help whoever tried to take him from her now because they would at the very least get one hell of a fight. He was hers again and anyone who wanted to take him from her over her dead body.

[dismalzelenka]

A tie between Lucien Reyadril in A Song in the Stillness and Ingrid Serridan in an original work that's been on my table for a while now.

Both mages, how bout that. No one is surprised I'm sure. But since this is basically a dragon age specific blog, lemme tell you about our local resident Soft Elf Boy Lucien Reyadril.

Lucien, if you haven't been keeping up with ASitS, is a close friend of Amell and Jowan in the Ferelden Circle of Magi. He's tiny, even for an elf, has green eyes and dirty blonde hair he wears in a bunch of uneven, unruly braids that look like he tried to do them in the dark with his eyes closed (and he probably did, knowing him.) He's really good at healing and also has a rare knack for "healing the mind" as they call it. In this HC all of the older apprentices in the Circle take actual apprenticeships, like little internship type jobs. Lucien works in the healing ward, specifically with children who have just been brought to the Circle and are having trouble adjusting. He heals them after they get in scrapes, or if they've gotten hurt on the way there. He watches out for them and makes sure they're getting enough to eat and that they're sleeping enough, and does everything he can to make them feel safe. Because when he was brought in from the Denerim alienage, he was fortunate enough to have mentors and watchers who made him feel loved and safe in the Circle, and he knows far too many people who didn't have that. He tells these kids that they're valuable and loved and he listens to them when they find the words to talk about their fears and anxieties and hurts, and he doesn't try to fix them. He just listens and helps with the scrapes and bruises and helps them heal on their own.

And that, my friends, is my favorite OC of 2017. Check out the tags if you want to read A Song in the Stillness, posted on both AO3 and Fanfiction dot net. :)

which oc would you say was your ‘oc of the year’? (because you made them this year, they had the most development this year, or you just feel like it)

[steampoweredstrawberry]

Random Headcanons about my Wardens:

(I play with mods and my Wardens all exist and lived in the same worldstate, BTW).

Lyna Mahariel gave Anders Pounce. She never warned him against cleaning up after him or having to get rid of him down the line. Being a Warden is grim work, even more so when it’s considered an escape from institutionalized abuse. If the cat brought Anders a moment of peace, she was happy to have him around.

Pounce became sort of a mascot for the Amaranthine Wardens. He kept them company, slept in their beds, offered them a moment’s escape from their grim fates in the form of snuggles or playfully batting around a length of string he was given.

Besides Anders, Pounce was especially fond of Lyna’s mabari, Ser Bacon, and Rhyann Tabris.

Rhyann, being so far away from Denerim (and both her family and the love of her life), grew increasingly unhappy with her life as a Warden. The death sentence, she could handle, given she almost died a year previous at the hands of Vaughan Urien. The Darkspawn, she could handle; they gave her an outlet to work through the anger she still felt for what Vaughan and his friends did to her and her friends. But, being so far away from the most important people in her life was torture.

Her and Anders latch onto one another for companionship (strictly platonic). They form a bond close to those of siblings. Rhyann would protect Anders with every ounce of strength in her tiny body. And he would never let it come to that point for her.

Rhyann is eventually called to Denerim in order to be at Alistair’s side (I play with mods, remember, so I modded it so anyone could marry Alistair and be his King/Queen).

During this time, Anders and Rhyann are in correspondence with one another. That is, until Lyna leaves her post as Warden-Commander and the Orlesian Wardens take over. Rhyann becomes increasingly worried for Anders’ (and the others’, but mostly Anders’) safety, and considers on more than one occasion leaving Denerim to check in on them.

That is, until one night, Anders shows up at the castle. He bestows Pounce onto her, and tells her he has to leave Ferelden. He refuses to tell her why, but she manages to goad out of him that he’s going to the Free Marches. Anders promises to write, which he does frequently.

During the events of 2, Rhyann becomes pregnant several times over (let me have my Alistair x Warden happiness). Pounce is excellent with the children, but he clearly misses Anders. And, by the letters she’s receiving, things are bad in Kirkwall. Rhyann and Lyna (as well as Neria Surana and Solona Amell) visit Kirkwall several times during the six years Anders is there. There isn’t much any of them can do for the Templar situation, especially when neither Meredith nor Elthina will listen to reason. Rhyann tells Alistair about this, and he begins trying to do what he can for Ferelden’s mages, and even trying to talk sense into Meredith and Elthina, but it’s not enough.

Anders’ attack is not met with hatred by his former friends in the Gray Wardens. They all speak out against the injustices mages had suffered, the injustices they continue to suffer, and how it’s the Chantry’s job to reform and give them rights.

When war finally hits, all four are staunch allies to the southern mages. They are seen on the battlefield, donned in their blue and silver with the griffin on the chest and feathers laced in their hair to show that Ferelden’s Wardens stand with the mages. And more importantly, Anders. Rhyann accompanies Alistair to meetings with foreign dignitaries, speaking of the injustices the Chantry is guilty of in hopes of garnering support for the mages.

Lyna follows her love, Leliana, to Skyhold, where she desguises herself as a kitchen maid to remain anonymous. She still takes up daggers in the name of the Inquisition and the mages they have chosen to show their support for.

Neria and Solona work together to find a cure for the Taint. Neria is pretending to be Lyna, and meets with Dalish mages frequently to find out if any of them know of a cure. Meanwhile, Solona is based in the Imperium with Jowan (again, mods) to see if Tevinter mages may have uncovered a cure that the southern mages didn’t have access to.

After Corypheus is defeated and Leliana is named Divine (and the subsequent freeing of the mages), the four return Pounce to Anders as a celebratory ‘gift’ to him. They then find out that he’s living happily in Kirkwall with Hawke and their daughter, and with another two on the way.

Lyna and Leliana officially marry in Val Royeaux. All of their friends attend. Some Andrastians object, on the grounds that they are both women and refuse to acknowledge the decree that people of the cloth are now permitted to marry. Leliana has them silenced.

Solona and Jowan uncover the cure for the taint together, and marry privately. They run a small apothecary and help teach young mages to control their powers.

(Neria still needs to be decided, but she was the one that openly flirted with Cullen in her play through, so maybe she’s helping to show him that mages deserve rights and he was wrong to ever think otherwise).