#this post is sponsored by my attempt to crawl out of the pit of despair and depression that is unemployment

[adhd-attention-deficit-dumbass]

This might be random and unrelated but I'm a high school senior taking my final exams which in my country determine the next 4 years of my life. it's now 4 days to the start of test season and Despite prepping well and feeling confident I woke up today to an empty mind. The mocks I took today were awful and I can't really speak to my parents about this as we aren't on speaking terms due to my grades seeing a drop before this. I'm consumed by brain fog and lack of motivation and feel completely lost on how to get back to the way I was yesterday, feeling equipped to handle this. My mind floods up with random details from ages ago?? I'm sorry...Kindly advise

Thank you for your question.

First of all, apologies that this reply is insanely late. Depression hit me like a brick wall this past year. I hope your exams went well and that you’re doing okay❤️

It sounds to me like all the pressure to perform is making you really anxious causing you to blank. Some general advice is to try and exercise or go for a walk as studies show it is a very efficient way to lessen anxiety. As well as mindfullness, meditation or any other generic anxiety reducing activity.

On a more specific note anxiety can really mess you up and for me taking walks just don’t cut it.

The most important ”technique” I’ve learned is called SOAS, and I learned it from a swedish book about ADHD. For translation reasons we’ll call it SOAR

It stands for

S-Stop

O-Observe

A-Accept

R-Release/Respond

It works kinda like this:

Whenever you have a strong overwhelming feeling (like anxiety) pause for a moment and stop. Take a couple deep breaths and take a moment to reflect.

Observe what is going on in your mind and body. What are you thinking/feeling? Maybe you feel scared, afraid to dissapoint yourself and/or others. Maybe your heart is racing or your jaw is clenched. Don’t try to stop or correct anything you’re doing just…observe.

Try your best to accept the way you’re feeling right now. Don’t judge yourself or your emotions by labeling them as ”good” or ”bad” emotions just, acknowledge and accept that they exist. ”I am stressed & anxious. Even if I don’t like it. That’s just how it is right now.”

Finally decide whether you’re going to respond to or release your emotions. This can be tricky. It’s not always clear which answer is ”right” in the moment but I’ll explain them both.

Responding to a feeling means we make a concious decision to act upon it. Our feelings exist to protect us and help us navigate the world. If you feel afraid upon seeing a lion about to pounce on you, then responding to the feeling by running away is probably the sensible thing to do.

By ”releasing” a feeling on the other hand we decide to let go of it and make a concious effort to not act upon that feeling. Sometimes this means taking a deep breath and moving on with your day but with particularily strong emotions it might feel impossible to just let it go. Sometimes to release the feeling you have to actively act against it.

If fear tells us to run away and avoid something, lets say a social interaction, with lots of new people (an introverts worst nightmare) then in order to release the feeling we have to the opposite of what it tells us. Go say hello, socialise, make that phone call, apologise to that friend you’re angry with that you really don’t want to apologise to. It’ll help you overcome the intensity of the feeling and with time and practice the feeling will lessen.

🌻Apologies about the wall of text. I hope this was at least somewhat helpful. If you made it this far, thank you for reading and have a nice day.🌻