#this post is specifically about yoohankim and yoo sangah

[sleepyminty]

Behind every disaster gay couples there’s always a short level-headed,angry, 100% tired girlboss (or a girlfail in disguise) who keeps everything in check whenever their divorce made it into everyone’s problem. And behind every girlboss is their emotional support bimbo who make sure their partner didnt explode for dealing with that said gay couple shit. This is my favorite ot4

[jilted-love]

We know Yoohankim polyam ship dynamic goes like "she's the writer, he's the reader, he's the protagonist and together they create and destroy the universe"

But what about Yoo Sangah? Do you ever think about how Kim Dokja is an endless library inside of himself and Yoo Sangah is his personal librarian? Not just any librarian by profession. She tended to the specific books inside of his soul. She read the books about his life, his tragedy and care for his story. She might not understand him completely but she will look after the vast library of his existence. She will read and re-read the books of his life. If Kim Dokja was the Library of Alexandria that burned down and devastated historians, Yoo Sangah was the librarian that burned down with him in her attempts to save him from the fire.

(PS: This is a ship post. I ship Doksang, Doksoo, Dokhyuk, Dokhee, Dokhyun, Doksol, etc. Nothing platonic about that. This is also a rare romantic pairing appreciation post. Not enough Doksang romance appreciation in this fandom honestly 😕 This isn't appreciating their friendship, there are other posts about that. This is me saying Yoo Sangah is in love with Dokja in the same crazy way everyone else is.)

[waitineedaname]

okay more complex thoughts time

FUCK!!!

stories that change how you think about stories!!! i am changed forever!!!!! god!!!!!!!! i am already so weak to the idea of art and fiction being the way we connect with other people, so orv fucking came for my KNEES.

i was somewhat prepared for it to hurt me with the metanarrative stuff, but I was NOT prepared for the theme about suicide. at first it's like haha kdj keeps killing himself for his companions, what's wrong with this guy, and then as it goes on, more and more of the kim dokja layers are peeled away and it's like 😧 oh you have been deeply unwell for a long long time.... the bit when ysa asks what he'd be doing if the scenarios had never happened and his first thought is "well twsa would be over so i'd probably be dead" fucking KEEPS ME UP AT NIGHT. it's such a flippant thought and it feels so real. it's like oh... you've always wanted to die, but now there's a Purpose to it (saving his friends, even if they are DEEPLY traumatized every time he does this)

circling back to ysa, i guess now it's time to talk about specific characters instead of themes. I LOVE YOO SANGAH!!! she was such a sleeper agent of a character for me. she was introduced at the beginning and i was so convinced she'd die early, and then a couple hundred chapters later she's making me CRY. i love her relationship with kdj, they have such an insane qpr vibe and im obsessed with them. i think about that conversation where kdj has that suicidal thought, and then ysa is like "obviously we would still be friends, we would call each other and pick up hobbies together and grow old together and we would live in a big house together with all our friends" and that thought is what motivates kdj going forward. I'm going to be ILL!!!!!

gonna start getting into spoilers, so that's going under the cut

OTHER CHARACTERS THAT MAKE ME ILL: YOOHANKIM!!!!!!! AUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I knew they'd have some cosmically entangled bullshit as the writer/reader/protagonist, but I was NOT PREPARED FOR EVERYTHING THEY HAD GOING ON. CHRIST. the bit that I can't stop thinking about is when they're trying to rescue him from being the oldest dream and han sooyoung can't reach him, so she WRITES YOO JOONGHYUK INTO EXISTENCE. THE PROTAGONIST BRIDGING THE GAP BETWEEN THE WRITER AND READER. I'M GOING TO BASH MY HEAD INTO THE WALL.

the oldest dream stuff made me SO unwell. kdj having to be PHYSICALLY RESTRAINED from killing his younger self. that image is HAUNTING. the idea of him in his demon king form thrashing against everyone holding him down, terrifying this child version of himself. the bit when he tries to STAB HIMSELF IN THE NECK. JESUS CHRIST DUDE. the fact that everyone (especially secretive plotter and the 999 crew, who have suffered so much) sees oldest dream, sees that it's kdj as a frightened and abused child, and they understand that all this happened because it was the only thing keeping him alive? and they forgive him? they feel sympathy for him? and secretive plotter and the outer gods leave with him to raise him? meanwhile kdj is being perhaps the most actively and violently suicidal we've seen him be? im gonna be sick.

im running out of steam for this post bc im coming out of the hyperfixation fugue state that got me to read a 1.3 million word novel in (checks calendar) two and a half weeks, but my brain is full of bees. im sure i'll have more thoughts to share soon but AAAAAAAUUGHGHGHGHHGHGH. i understand why the end of the novel was open ended and i know the implication is happy, but i need to find some post-canon fluff NOW! IF THEY'RE NOT ALL LIVING IN A BIG HOUSE TOGETHER I'M BLOWING THIS WHOLE PLACE UP

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA