#this post is even longer pls feel free to ignore im being baked af and thinking too hard about taylor swift again

[ileftherbackhome]

someone brought up a good point that the narrative of ttpd is like he was the one telling taylor he would marry her and i agree but my long rambly post was more about the fact that she was willing to believe such bullshit obvious lies says something about who she was in that moment of time and her mentality.

the narrative of midnights is her wondering if she should leave joe for ratty and then ttpd is like the aftermath of that decision. taylor decided to tear her entire world apart based on the promises a man in her dms was telling her while they were both in relationships with other people. she thought she had it wrong with joe (and she did ultimately have it wrong but only because she had to change who she was as a person to date him which nobody should ever try to do imo) so she decided to date ratty instead. and my critique is more of why the fuck did she believe that this was "one true love" and her "soulmate" scenario.

the fact that she was willing to believe that man was her future husband says a lot about how she views herself and what she was looking for at the time. she wanted to get married and she was willing to follow whatever road promised to get her there first.

that's really what i was trying to dissect in that post because i feel like it says so much about what taylor believes in that she was willing to believe some cheating asshole was her true love just to get married. like to me that is the most interesting part of ttpd, dissecting taylor's beliefs around gender roles and how she feels failing to obtain the most basic thing that society says a woman who looks like her should be able to get.

i find the desperation to find a husband evident throughout this record and it seems really clear to me that taylor still holds onto some harmful patriarchial viewpoints on romance because the harm that she is willing to engage in to get married is wild imo.

her getting on stage to say cardigan was about ratty is wild when she claimed that joe and her wrote that song together. to me, the only conclusion i can come to from that is that taylor wrote songs about her desire to fuck ratty with joe, in front of joe, and then released those songs to the world. to me, that behavior alone and then writing a whole documentary where u say that james and betty end up together that anyone can back and watch now and now you're talking about yourself and ratty....

wild ass shit. wild ass behavior.

to me, this says a lot about her desire to get married and how willing she was to behave in such self destructive mannerisms in order to feel like she had some control over her life. idk like i just cannot stop thinking about the events of last year and what they say about the whole lover through midnights eras and it's just so....... yucky to think about anyone behaving like that and justifying it behind "true love" bullshit.

idk to me, i think its very interesting that the last lines of the standard edition is "you look like taylor swift... you've got edge she never did" because frankly, there are a lot of jagged edges to who taylor swift is as a person and she spent the whole record detailing just a few of them.

i think that again, taylor swift was like 30+ talking to her side piece and calling that true love in her head and that alone is worthy of critique. it's truly weird behavior to engage in when she has all the money in the world to leave an unhappy relationship without emotionally cheating on her partner for years and writing songs about it with them. ugh i truly cannot get over last year because wow what a fucking clusterfuck dude.

but going back to clara bow for a second, i find it interesting those are the last lines because to me i find them very sarcastic in nature i guess. like especially with the context of ms americana she is conditioned to want to be a good girl and she grew up in the public eye in 2006-2017 which is frankly a horrible time to be a famous girl, especially if u fit the beauty standard and she did and does.

like of course taylor doesnt have edge to the general public because they demean her and belittle everything she does by making fun of her and the. shaming her for having the audacity to feel anything about it. sadness, rage, guilt, acceptance, all of it is used against her unless she plays the 1989 girl.

you can see it in how she is portraying her current life and especially how she portrayed it after her break up with joe. she used the media to her advantage to both self sabatoge and craft this narrative that joe didnt hurt her actually and she left him first and she's totally cool with it, juat angry that's all because she gave it her best, she swears.

and like it's all so fucking disingenuous to me imo because it's clear from ttpd that she was not okay at all and honestly the only people she was fooling were the vipers hanging around for gossip because her fans on here especially were not convinced that she was as happy as she claimed to be.

and like idk it all says something about how she views fame, how she views public life, how she views romance when you really take ttpd and put it into context with all of the last four to five years of her life. and to me its more interesting to talk about how the fuck someone could believe such obvious bullshit at taylor's age because also keep in mind....

not only is taylor in her 30s but she has also been lied to several times in order for her partners to fuck her and it's like... haven't you learned by now? how many times do you need to learn the lesson that men dont propose marriage to a person they're not even dating, let alone make it 6 months with. like that's not even getting into the whole like pining for your ex while dating someone else thing thats super fucking gross behavior that sounds good re the way i loved you but is actually really fucking toxic to engage in irl because these are real people you're fucking with just so you can feel good about yourself.

idk like to me the confessions on ttpd that folkmore was about ratty and she would literally sneak away to see that man while dating joe says so much about who she is and what she values in life and i think its worthy of some critique tbh but also some examination.

she's not the first person to feel like this and judging by how many of you love the emotional cheating songs, she's clearly not the last person either. like why do women feel like its acceptable to emotionally cheat but why do we accept that behavior from women? its like the normalization of physical cheating from men that we do as a society.

idk i find it all very interesting to think about especially the broader societal concepts and what it says about how much yall enjoy the worst songs on this album. not worst as in bad sonically just worst lyrics ever and yall just really like it or relate to it in a way that i personally do not understand how.

i can understand it if you are young actually under 25 but anyone older that is vibing with these songs... how? idk like i feel like the youth having problematic love ideas is normal and to be expected but whenever i see older swifties talking about how much they relate to the emotional cheating songs i just feel so... weird inside because once again how.

its like i can understand the desire to cheat when you're unsatisfied but either talk to your partner about the thing u want to fix or get the fuck out if they refuse to try and work things out with u. why are u emotionally cheating. how are u getting to that point. why. just fucking leave.

i can understand it from like normal people who are married and cant afford divorce or are being abused etc etc but taylor has much more money and way more houses than joe does or did. she wasnt married. there were no kids to think about. she could have left as soon as she realized he didnt want to change anything about their relationship while she did instead of cheating for months to years on him.

idk i just find it very interesting to think about how even money and wealth cannot stop you from idealizing hollywood too much as a child and trying to be an icon instead of a human being in a way. like i try to unlearn these biases myself and its interesting to think about how you can have all the resources at your fingers and still refuse to grow and change as a person in any way that matters to the point of self harm and sabatoge.

this got so fucking long holy shit anyways