#this person is too young and/or immature for me to comfortably rping with them

[chappybird]

anyone else get those rpers who make their character a constant victim, and who try to tell you what to do in the actions? or even folks who dictate traits about your character. woe. i may be desperate for rp a lot, but i am so sick of it.

not an uncommon problem but I would say it's much more common amongst immature rpers with very narrow black and white world views. If their character is a victim then they can't be a perpetrator. The other thing is a sense of entitlement and poor RP skills.

[confessionsofa-roleplayer]

There’s something very interesting to me that I realized today. Everyone wants to interact with people their age or older. Namely, all the 18+ only blogs that show up who clearly do not post smut and pretty much solely post just the regular stuff you’d find in an rp blog for the fandom. No real reason to be 18+ only beyond the mun’s comfort that I can see.

Maybe this is just some psychological thing? Perhaps it comes from people being told at a young age that they’re mature for their age (I know I was, and for some reason people who are barely a year older than me still tell me the same thing, which I find honestly a little condescending bc what? You’re 18? I’m 17, not that big of a difference). Or maybe it comes from being more comfortable shipping with people who are your age (or older, which… I mean from the younger person’s perspective, it may not be an issue, but from the /older/ person’s perspective it absolutely could very much be an issue, which is why y'all have your blogs in the first place, but what if it suddenly became a trend where everyone becomes 30+ only? There’d be so much backlash against that person).

And a lot of people don’t put specifically how old they are on their about the mun pages. Usually just “mun is a minor” or “mun is 18+” or “mun is 21+”. “Mun is a minor” could be someone who is 17, which by the way is still considered to be not an adult in the US. “Mun is 18+” could mean the mun turned 18 literally the day before. Mun is 21+ could be someone who is 40 years old. Point being, people are vague. Just bc someone says they’re a minor, 18+, or 21+ doesn’t mean they’re in or too far away from your age group. Tbh I have a friend who is 21 this year, and I’m weeks away from being 18 (we met in high school orchestra when I was 14 and he was 17). I regularly hang out with people two years (or more) my junior. Like I get it, people in school and people who are Adulting Already with a job and paying debt are going to find a hard time relating on a personal level, but seriously, like both of my favorite rp partners are adults who are leaving college or already holding down a steady job. Most of the folks I find myself clicking with are /adults/ who are out of school. And here I am, barely in college. It’s far less of a black and white issue than people like to think it is.

Although tbh it’s only a pattern I’ve seen in those I ended up becoming friends with. There are still plenty of people I’m not close to who are literally already married, holding down a steady job, and thinking about having kids but apparently not “mature” enough to politely turn me down when they don’t want to rp, instead choosing to just ignore or to lie and say “I’m interested!” and then ignore the sentence starters I send them and even the icon memes.

Oh and have I mentioned a large portion of the RPC are adults? Adults as in 18+. Most of the rpers I meet are adults. I default to thinking “you’re an adult” whenever I see a new person putting out a promo. So naturally, the problems in the RPC are perpetrated /by adults/, since they appear for all intents and purposes to /be/ the majority of people. So honestly? Minors being “just a bunch of immature kids” or “I don’t rp with someone 4 years younger than me but I’m comfortable rping with someone 10 years my senior” sounds… Kinda weird. What if those people 10 years older than you are like “I only want to rp with people who are within five years of me?” You’ll never catch up bc time doesn’t stop for anyone. Shrug. Maybe it’s time we all got a bit of perspective here, bc it’s frustrating to see people spout certain rhetoric but not apply it to themselves bc I guess people have oddly little self awareness.

[kaaras-adaar-a]

Kaaras and Romance.

// I said I was going to write up some important details when it comes to romance, so here I am. :3 

First off, it should be known that Kaaras works off chemistry! This is non negotiable. I will NOT force him to ship with someone he doesn’t have chemistry with and doesn’t like. It doesn’t mean me, as the mod, may not think it’s a really cute idea (I’m a ship whore), but I will not force him into anything he doesn’t want to do. I’ve done this before, and let me tell you, it was all kinds of fucked up, and it ended in severe misery and the whole thing turned out bad. So yeah... besides being a decent person to my muse’s wishes, there is also severe reason behind this choice. 

What you need to know is that Kaaras needs time. If you want to develop a romance with Kaaras, then that is what it will require: development. Development doesn’t just mean skype/discord chatter amongst ourselves (although that can help). What it means is:

Communication between muses -- this needs to be at a comfortable constant as it does with RL people. Meeting twice is not grounds to fall in love, meeting a few times over comfortable periods of time is definitely needed to develop a crush.

Time spent with muses -- this means quiet and quality time. Time to get to KNOW each other. Not just orders here and there, but actually getting to quietly speak and chatter with each other.

Chemistry is obviously a must still -- Some people have it, some people don’t. If your muse has a crush on Kaaras, that’s fine, but if he’s not feeling it, don’t pressure him. 

REAL LIFE TIME -- Threads don’t just end in one day, some threads go over weeks long. The more time he spends with your muse over a literal day or hours or weeks or whatever, the more comfortable he will be with your muse. We can have multiple threads going, that’s fine, but real life time is essential. Also, none of this skipping and darting around. Kaaras needs to ESTABLISH a real relationship with your muse. If he’s one thread at the beginning of a relationship and then the next they’re already 6 months in a relationship? Not going to work. What HAPPENED in those 6 months? How did they treat each other? Did they get closer? HE DOESN’T KNOW, and this actually freaks him the fuck out and he doesn’t know or understand. He needs control and order. If we’re skipping around it’s chaos and it makes him uncomfortable. This is what I mean by REAL time. A FLOW of time, communication and development being established. He needs to grow with your character. Because that’s what happens, each of them will grow from one another and that’s development. :) 

Kaaras may crush quickly, and we’re both aware of this. It does NOT mean that this crush will develop into love. What it means is that he has some strong feelings towards your muse that 100% have the potential to disappear. A crush is never solid, a crush is an infatuation, and it is a bit of an addiction with Kaaras, because it’s something that makes him feel alive, an adrenaline rush and even arousal. It’s a pleasant feeling in the middle off the hell that is being Inquisitor. 

In saying that, of course it absolutely has the potential to become more than a crush and a well established and developed relationship. But only time will tell.

Kaaras is shy and private. He will flirt with your muse, and often does just with people he considers friends. However, if there is a real show of interest back, take note that he might be surprised and that’s when all the coyness settles in. Kaaras’ self esteem is pretty damn low when it comes to himself, and most of the time he’s oblivious and doesn’t think anyone would be romantically attracted to him. It doesn’t stop him from flirting and it doesn’t stop him from still making moves. He is shy, but he is also a determined individual, and if he does get wind that your muse likes him romantically, he will be sure to voice himself on his thoughts and opinion. Kaaras isn’t the kind of person to let things sit and miss an opportunity, he WILL let his feelings be known. 

One thing to keep in mind is that if Kaaras and your muse end up in a romantic relationship, sex will never come first. Kaaras isn’t innocent, he’s spent a fair few of his younger years getting up to some trouble, but he’s never gone the full way and considers himself a virgin. You will never get sex out of Kaaras until he’s READY. Don’t think going in for smut is going to be easy. XD Kaaras is exceptionally slow with going the full way until he is comfortable with your muse. He may be good at using his hands or oral, but when it comes to going the full way, he fumbles, he’s not confident, and he may even need guidance from your muse. 

Please take note that I will ALWAYS treat these as realistic as possible (as I do with all of my writing). It will be awkward, it won’t be all hot and smutty and whatever you expect from a romance novel. Accidents will happen, embarrassing things will happen, and please keep in mind Kaaras’ PSAS that very well affects his sex life, meaning it will affect your muses sex life with him (if we’re Rping, then you should already be aware of what this condition is as it’s in my rules--a quick Google search on Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome/Disorder will suffice as well :3 ). 

Next on the list is Kaaras’ preferences. First off, Kaaras is pansexual and panromantic. He will date all genders of all species. Please read THIS POST about Kaaras and women however, as it goes into some depths about humans, specifically. That way I don’t need to repeat myself here. 

Kaaras is generally pretty easy on the male side of things, and he absolutely has a preference and a weakness for older men. Anyone who is a good 7-8 years older than him and plus, can be quite an instant attraction for him. This is pretty personal to him, and it is due to some psychological things. His father died at 12, no male role model, wanting to please, etc, etc. If I make a meta about that, then I’ll make one, for now, I won’t go too in depth with it. It is just something that should be known, especially for those who have older male muses. 

AGE MATTERS to Kaaras. Please note that Kaaras RARELY dates people who are 25 and below (he is 29 as Inquisitor), and even 25 sometimes he sees too young (he’s yet to break this rule, so I just let people know). I am not entirely sure WHY he is like this (it could be to do with his preference of older muses, I am not 100% certain). If your muse is younger than 23, though, he simply does not look for a potential romantic relationship with them, it doesn’t even OCCUR to him. Those thoughts are not for people that younger than him. He seems to be very strict on this rule, though. I do say that chemistry is chemistry, and if he does happen to break this rule, then... he breaks it. It’s not up to ME. It’s just something he does. But ever since I’ve Rped him, Kaaras has never broken this rule yet, so it’s something I pretty much put out there as a warning for people who are looking to romance Kaaras. If your muse is below this age limit, the chances are going to be slim to outright nil. 

It’s not that he sees your muse as immature or a child, the age gap just makes him uncomfortable, despite enjoying such older muses. *shrugs* If your muse is young and gets a crush on him, I’m not going to stop them from crushing on him, you be true to your muse :3. Just know that Kaaras most likely will not see them in such a manner, and will be baffled if they tell him. He might even avoid them depending on how much younger they are. Don’t take this as an “I don’t want to RP with you” because that’s not it, lol. Kaaras deserves to have friends as well as lovers. And if I like your muse, then I absolutely still would love to RP with you. :) 

It is important to know what also attracts Kaaras to a person. Generally, if your muse is a nice, caring, selfless and gentle person, then those are some pretty easy ways to get Kaaras’ attention. 

If your muse is an arsehole, enjoys killing for pleasure/sport, and is an overall bad and negative person, then there’s no real chance of him liking your muse. Assassins seem to get this a lot, and he is REALLY iffy on assassin muses, because they are essentially killing for gold (a mercenary and an assassin are NOT the same thing, and if you try and compare Kaaras’ job to an assassin he will lecture the shit out of you XD). 

Please know that as Inquisitor, Kaaras is ALREADY under an immense amount of stress. He needs his alone time, he needs his Kaaras time, he needs to just worry about himself every now and again and be ALONE. As much as he loves his LI and wants to be with them, he is not and never will be entirely dependant on them. in fact, often Kaaras is perfectly fine in his solitude. He doesn’t like being lonely, but he doesn’t mind being alone. He will need his independence. If your muse ends up being incredibly clingy and overall unhappy and needy and taking up all his energy, and puts more pressure on Kaaras, chances are that his feelings may change after a while.

Lastly, I want it to be known that feelings CAN and WILL change. Kaaras has gone head strong into some relationships and rushed into them without thinking, and in the end, I’ve had to deal with the consequences, and Kaaras has had to break up with muses. 

For one, don’t think this is because I no longer like your muse, this is KAARAS’ doing. It’s NOT mine. I may even still totally ship them! I may still love them and think they’re adorable, but Kaaras’ feelings DO change. Don’t hate him because of that. He’s only a person, and all of our feelings change. Relationships grow and relationships fall. Mainly, it’s because he’s rushed into it, and basically there’s been no real development, and once he realises, he freaks the fuck out and panics on me, and I have to deal with it all. So yeah, it’s a pain in the arse, but don’t put more pressure on me by trying to guilt trip either of us. That only leads to an extremely bitter Kaaras, and you don’t want to go down that path, it’s really not pretty. Mod gets over things very quickly, but if you keep digging that hole, Kaaras will down right end up hating with a passion. You’re all pretty decent folks, though, I don’t expect that to happen <3 

Just be aware that feelings do change, and time and development is something very important and basically essential if you want to romance Kaaras. Not everyone will get to romance him, and that’s okay! Kaaras still likes having friends. :) And it’s important to have friendships with other muses, not just all LIs! 

I THINK I’ve covered most? If there’s anything else, just hook me up and a huge thanks for anyone who took the time to read this, it got way longer than I anticipated! 

[chappybird]

"this person is too young and/or immature for me to comfortably rping with them" || But not too young or immature to rp about fucking them, apparently!!

??? I don't have any interest in rping as real people. I think that's weird.