#this one is probably gonna be on the back burner until the christmas season but i am v excited about it!

[clairenovaking]

How are you doing the holiday au?

i am having rowena and dean swap places! so dean heads to scotland while rowena comes to kansas for christmas. rowena meets dean's brother, sam, while dean meets rowena's neighbor/best friend castiel. dean and cas hit it off pretty quickly but rowena and sam...butt heads a bit before they inevitably fall for each other.

[goldsbitch]

That one Bologna drive

part 2 to That one Christmas flight (strongly recommend reading that one first! made me so happy you guys liked this one, so let's continue!)

summary: They were suppose to not look for each other. So of course they didn't.

warnings: crushing hard, swear words I guess, typos probably

PS: y'all gonna hate me

Lando really wanted to keep his promise not to search for her online. He enjoyed the mystery and the option to keep this little encounter as a nice "why if". Until he didn't.

With the only information he had being her first name and the fact she was a student at Bologna university his private burner account was truly burning up. He must have seen every account of the current Bologna alumni. It was strange being on the other side of these pseudo stalker fan games. There were moments where he deactivated his account, to stop him from doomscrolling. And then there were nights when he did nothing but that.

He was fed up with the emptiness and shallow lifestyle that followed him. His friends were surprised, when he started to carry classical literature books with him. Since he hated those looks, decision to really keep all of this to himself had been made. It felt like a pose sometimes - he did not have to prove anything to anyone, he was fine as he was. But a strange feeling of wanting something more is hard to navigate when the life around you seems dead set in the current ways.

Weeks passed by with his eyes fixed on one moment in particular. The Imola Grand Prix. It felt like a cruel joke when he realized this circuit was a mere hour away from Bologna.

Lando was not sure if he was supposed to be proud or scared when finally found her account. At this point, it was hard to find a better expert on the social life of that university town. But it would be a massive lie, if he said he did not sprint up from his chair when he saw her in one of her friends insta story. Tagged.

He nearly DM'd her about 20 times. But, this was not the way it was supposed to feel. No. It seemed like a way better plan to ride up to Bologna and hang out at what seemed to be her favorite cafe / bar in the centre. If it was meant to be, he would run into her and it could all be called a second lucky accident.

He had an average start of the season. Maybe Imola would bring him luck one way or the other.

//

His plan was to ride up there the evening after his first practice - then the team debrief dragged until late hours. He hit the wall on the second day - his team made sure he went through all and every medical check up, no matter how much he protested. Then there was this and than that and suddenly he realized the only possible evening would be the Sunday one. He requested the latest flight him team would allow.

Finishing fourth felt like a joke, even though it was his best finish this season. Missing the podium by a mere second was a cruel of a metaphor.

Once he managed to run through all his duties, exhausted as truly was, he hit the road.

Within a half an hour, he was in what seemed her most favorite cafe, sitting on a bar stool, ordering a glass of white wine.

She was nowhere to be found. His heart jumped when her friends came in and sat outside, lighting their cigarettes. Lando waited. He had to laugh at himself, pathetic as he was right now. By his luck lately, she was probably in her bedroom sleeping, or worse - on a date with some Italian fuck boy. Going up to her friends and asking was absolutely not an option - he wanted to surprise her, not scare her and creep her out.

He left the bar after one hour for a stroll around. He walked around the lively square filled with young people sitting on the ground and having the time of their life, the one he saw hundreds of times on his screen. Who knew, maybe she'd be around somewhere. Jealousy swept over him, envying those who were fortunate enough to keep her company right now at this very moment. After one hour he was back for a second glass. But this time he heard his name being called loudly immediately as he stepped inside. All of his tired muscles tensed up in disbelief. And to continue with the theme of pure luck - it was an ordinary fan. The surprised guy with a Mercedes t-shirt insisted on a photo and signature. Lando smiled, signed and went back to his car.

He probably needed this closure.

//

Y/N was a person who prided herself on her principles. So when she and the mystery boy from that Christmas flight agreed upon not looking each other up, she kept herself away from doing so. Exam season and university life got in the way, providing a great distraction.

Only when she went on a date with what seemed to be a lovely French physics student, she allowed herself to think back to her encounter with Lando. That's when her internal facade fell apart. She spent the whole date imagining Lando would appear. He'd sit at a different table, right in her view, and then once her date would go on the toilet, they'd run away like little kids would do. They'd sit in a local park and laugh while sharing a bottle of wine. She knew he was somehow famous. He heart crushed at the thought that she was probably overshadowed by girls way prettier than her.

And then, on a random afternoon during a first study session the weather allowed her and her friends to spend outside, in one of the university gardens, one simple conversation she accidentaly overheard from the people sitting nearby, caused her to loose the last chance of keeping the meeting with Lando intact.

"Yeah, Lando Norris. Way hotter than Leclerc, I must say."

"I still don't understand why you love formula 1."

"They just know how to sell the story."

Surely, they were not talking about Lando. "Sure, there must be thousands of well known people called Lando," Y/N replied to her own question.

She took this as a sign, gave up on her principles and went full ballistic on her research. Downforce, penalties, the teams history, qualifying, chequered flag.

Since she was so deep in, keeping her obsession to herself as she had no idea with whom she could possibly share this, she might as well ask her mom for tickets money. The idea that she knew that he was just an hour away and she would miss that was simply not on the table.

Formula 1 race in an event meant for groups of friends to share their passion. So sitting there on the stand alone felt a little bittersweet. She made sure to push down any thoughts about seeing him up close again, let alone talking to him. It was something that half of the people present would try to do. And risking having him look through her, or worse - not remembering her - was not something she wished to live through.

But she cheered for him, she really did. Anytime he passed around her stand she got up, she watched him on the screen during interviews and when it became clear, he would have his best result of the season so far here at Imola, she celebrated with all those around her. Feeling proud that he was doing good. There was an electrifying energy in the air which could not compare to the times she watched races in her room on her laptop. If he had been standing near to her, she knew he would say something to beat himself up for missing a podium. And if she was standing next to him, she would tell him that he is an idiot and should also celebrate.

He looked a bit off during the interviews. Probably the crash few days ago. Y/N stayed sitting there just a bit longer than an average fan would.

Probably to avoid traffic...

part 3

______________________________________________________

Tagged all those who like to suffer: @prudyhoo @anuksunamon @sagestack @esquerkaren @ushygushybaby @superlegend216

[storiesofsvu]

Hiya! I hope you are doing well😌 I love your work and was wondering if you still planned to finish Solace in Solitude?

Looking forward to reading your work!

hey, to be completely honest, no, i'm not doing great, i'm exhausted, and you've caught me in the middle of a stressful work weekend where i'm nearing burnout and have already cried once. and getting an ask like this lowkey just makes me want to cry again out of frustration (mainly towards myself, i know you had no malicious intent sending this). and thank you for the compliment.

i've been so busy & tired i honestly have zero concept of time anymore, had no idea how much time had gone between chapters of Solace. it looks like i was posting once a month the last couple of ch's which is pretty standard for most writers, i had zero idea it had already been 3 weeks, which yeah is a longer time frame for me to post ch's of series. BUT, every time i open the goddamn outline i stare at it for twenty minutes trying to piece things together and get annoyed and close the document. I take a *lot* of pride in most of my writing, especially series and this one is an idea that i want to make sure is done *right* and not rushed. I look through prev ch's and the outline and notice that i've already included some stuff that i meant to happen later on, or that they would be having the same conversations multiple times, that i need to figure out certain things, ways to get the hostility back up again before the snap, how far into the angst do i want to dive, what general vibe do i want this chunk of the story to have? (tbh it's sounding like i need to call a bestie and have a spitballing session, but for that we also have to account for wildly diff time zones, and the fact that even the most ferally obsessed besties also have real life shit going on and are likely as wiped as i am)

there's too much for my brain to try and figure out when i have this much other real life shit going on. I'm working overtime, i'm working for free at home doing tons of shit to make sure that my bar is moving in the right direction, that we have the best staff in the best positions for them, that the new manager is really fully set to take over in a couple of weeks and has as many resources as possible so christmas season is smooth and a win for everyone. and shit like this is what pays the bills, not writing unfortunately. so until i can figure out how writing can help pay rent and buy food, it's gonna take the back burner.

I've also been focused on attempting to start more one shots, and focus on the ones i had planned out/people had req'd for bingo that ends tonight. Some of those ideas/req's will be tossed into the trash, some of them will probably end up getting written eventually, who knows at this point. its a struggle trying to appease everyone in my ask box and give them what they're asking for, especially spread so far across different fandoms and so many characters and being one of the only writers for some of those characters.

TL;DR: yeah, i'm planning on finishing it. no i don't have any idea when. i want to work on it but my brain is dead. hopefully i will be able to get something out sometime soon but ya girl is fucking tired and needs a goddamn break.

if i ever abandon a work or put it on hold i will put a note on the masterlist.

thank you for wording your ask in a more positive way and sandwiching it with compliments

[livesincerely]

it’s beginning to look a lot like... ch. 2

Also on Ao3. Chapter one here.

00000

The Third Christmas

“You’re making the left side all crooked!”

“No, I’m not!”

“Yes, you are, it’s all ugly and lopsided!”

“Well, maybe if you’d stop hogging all the blankets⁠!”

“Well, maybe if you’d shut your face⁠!”

Jack’s got one eye on the chaos currently taking place in the living-room-turned-construction-site, the other on the pot of Easy Mac he’s got working up on the stove. The boys are in the middle of building the Christmas Pillow Fort, though it’s been stop and start all morning, with the two of them pausing every few minutes to argue about how the other is doing it wrong. 

Jack only tried to intervene the once⁠—Tony and Charlie had called a temporary truce to team up against him instead, shooing him away with the explanation that he’s too lame and too tall to help and that ‘we’re not babies, Jack, we got it!’ Though, given that their efforts have since devolved into an impromptu pillow fight, with shouts of ‘you suck,’ ‘your face is stupid,’ and ‘because Jack said so!’ punctuated by the soft thuwmp of cushions hitting bodies, Jack thinks he can be forgiven for assuming they might’ve needed his help.

But all in all, this Christmas is looking to be one of the best ones yet, and certainly the best one that the boys can remember. Jack had finally turned sixteen at the beginning of the month, and though it was late in the season, he’d managed to pick up some temp work covering holiday rush shifts at the grocery store, so there’d been extra money for better presents and better food this year. And, judging by the wide smiles and overjoyed thanks he’d received when handing over the presents this morning—Two presents each for both of them! Jack had actually managed it!—the boys were more than pleased with their haul.

Though, really, if Jack’d had it his way, he’d of already been working somewhere—an actual part-time job, not just scrounging for seasonal work—but Snyder wouldn’t let him start working until his last birthday, afraid that if Jack had a job too young it would ‘make him look bad,’ the bastard. 

Because the underfed children in his care were nothing to worry about, obviously. 

Jack’s distracted from his lunch efforts by a sharp rap! rap! rap! of knuckles knocking against the front door, followed by a pause where he thinks whoever it is must’ve tried the doorbell, only to realize that it doesn’t work. He wipes his hands on a dish cloth and turns the burner down, figuring that Tony and Charlie won’t be able to kill each other in the time it takes for him to answer the door, probably, and wanders over to check it out. 

He can’t imagine who’d be knocking on Christmas of all days, and especially in this weather, but when he opens the front door he finds Davey standing on the doorstep, bundled up in several layers with a large canvas bag thrown over one of his shoulders.

“Dave!” Jack says, startled but pleased. “What’re ya doin’ here?”

“Hi, Jackie,” Davey says, voice muffled by the scarf covering the bottom half of his face, bright blue eyes peeking out from underneath a woolen hat. “Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas,” Jack greets back automatically, then flushes, shaking his head. “Or, no, sorry, Happy Hanukkah.”

It’s hard for Jack to read his expression but he thinks he sees Davey’s eyes crinkle up at the corners⁠—an indication of a smile. Jack’s heart does a funny little hop-skip in his chest. 

“Thanks,” Davey says. 

“Here, come on in,” Jack says, opening the door a little wider.

“Oh, I don’t want to intrude⁠—”

“You ain’t intrudin’,” Jack insists. “And besides, we’re lettin’ all the warm air out.”

“Oh, well, thanks,” Davey says, stepping into the entrance hall. 

“Can you stay a while?” Jack asks, eager to keep Davey in his space for as long as he can, a soft feeling fluttering in his stomach. “I can take your coat, fix you somethin’ to drink, or get you a snack if you’re hungry?”

“That sounds nice,” Davey says, and he sounds like he really means it. “But I can’t stay for long. I had a hard enough time convincing my Ma to let me come out in the first place, what with the snow and all. If I’m not home soon she’ll be worried.”

“Oh, okay,” Jack says, disappointed, and then feeling stupid that he’s disappointed in the first place. What, was he gonna serve Davey up a bowl of Easy Mac? Show him the wonders of the pillow fort?

Davey, thankfully, doesn’t seem to notice the dip in Jack’s mood. “I just wanted to make sure I got these to you,” he says, letting the canvas bag he’s carrying slip off his shoulder and into his hand, holding it out to Jack in offering. “I didn’t want to bother you over break, but you weren’t at school on Friday.”

“Oh, yeah,” Jack says lamely, not wanting to get into how Charlie and Tony’s school had a half day on Friday because of the holiday, forcing Jack to cut class so he’d be able to pick them up on time. “What is it, my makeup work? Thanks for pickin’ that up for me, I really can’t afford to miss any more English assignments.”

“No, it’s not that,” Davey says. “Or, well, actually it is, but it’s not just your homework…”

Davey keeps talking but Jack doesn’t hear the rest of the explanation, though he doesn’t need to once he peers into the bag. Because it’s stacked full of presents, each wrapped in shiny blue paper dotted with silver snowflakes, tied neatly with white ribbon.

“Merry Christmas?” Davey offers, and he looks a little uncertain, fidgeting nervously with the fringe on his scarf. 

“You got me a Christmas present?” Jack asks, numbly.

“You and the boys,” Davey confirms with a nod. “Just a little something for the holiday.”

“You didn’t hafta do that, Dave,” Jack says, still not quite processing. “I don’t wantcha to waste your money on me.”

“I know I didn’t have to,” Davey says. “I wanted to.” Then he reaches out and swats Jack across the shoulder with his gloved hand. “And it’s not a waste of money, it’s a gift.”

“But…” Jack’s face feels hot, some mix of surprise, embarrassment, and joy. “But I don’t got nothin’ for you.”

“Jackie, just take the presents,” Davey says, in that fondly exasperated tone that Jack has quickly gotten accustomed to over the last few months, “and don’t worry about it. I wanted to. And it’s not like I need a Christmas present.” 

“But Hanukkah—“

“—Isn’t the same thing,” Davey interrupts, kindly but firmly. “We exchange presents, sure, but Hanukkah isn’t, like, the Jewish version of Christmas. Really, don’t worry about it.”

“Thanks, Davey,” Jack says, and his voice a little raspy as he chokes back a sudden wave of emotion, but if Davey notices he’s nice enough not to mention it. “Hey, are you sure ya can’t stay for a sec? Race and Charlie would love to see ya.”

But Davey shakes his head. “I really do need to get home,” he says, apologetic, turning back towards the door. “But tell them Merry Christmas from me, okay?”

“Will do,” Jack says. “And tell your folks Happy Hanukkah from us.”

“I will,” Davey says with a soft smile. “Have a good break, Jackie.”

Jack really wants to hug him, but he can’t with the stack of presents in his arms. He settles for a nod and a sort-of wave. “You too, Dave.”

Jack stands there for a short while, watching Davey’s trek down the sidewalk through the window until he disappears from view. Then he makes his way into the living room.

“Hey, Racer, Charlie,” Jack says. “Time out for a second.”

Tony’s head pops up from where he’s lying half on top of Charlie, pushing his brother’s face against the floor. “I didn’t do it,” he says.

“Well, I didn’t do it,” Charlie retorts, his indignant pout muffled somewhat by the carpet.

“Did I say anyone did anything?” Jack asks, raising an eyebrow. “Keep this up and you're gonna make me think I shouldn’t give ya these nice presents...”

“There’s more presents?” Tony exclaims, jumping to his feet. “Where?!”

“Slow your roll there, conejito,” Jack laughs. “They ain’t goin’ nowhere.” He gestures to the bag hanging over his shoulder. “Davey stopped by,” he explains. “He couldn’t stay but he brought us some Christmas presents.”

He waits for the boys to gather around, then hands out the presents: one for each of them, and a final one for Jack. Tony and Charlie tear right into theirs, gleeful, but Jack takes a moment to just look at his own gift⁠—inspecting the shiny foiled paper and the neatly folded corners, the curly white ribbon and the cheery holiday tag that reads ‘Jack’ in precise, rounded letters.

It’s been years since he’s gotten a Christmas present. It’s almost like his body doesn’t remember what to do with one.

The boys have no such qualms. 

“Ooh!” Tony exclaims, pulling a mass of cherry-red yarn out of his package. “Jack, look!” It’s a hat, scarf, and mitten set, perfectly sized for a eight year old, soft and warm and perfect for New York winter.

“I got one too!” Charlie says, uncovering a matching set, this one done up in pine green. He tugs the hat onto his head, then wraps himself up in his scarf, looking ridiculously pleased with himself. 

“Oh, and look what else!” Tony says. There’s a pair of DVDs tucked in between the knitwear: a copy of ‘The Lion King’ and ‘Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.’ A second glance into Charlie’s present reveals copies of ‘The Princess Bride’ and ‘How to Train Your Dragon.’

Jack takes a shaky breath, a lump settling somewhere in the back of his throat.

“Jack, aren't cha gonna open yours?” Charlie asks, innocently clueless.

“Yeah, of course I am Choo-Choo,” Jack says, and he’s glad the boys are distracted by their gifts, because while he’s managing to keep his voice steady, he’s not sure he can hide the wetness pricking at the corners of his eyes.

Cautiously, he rips the paper off his own gift. The first thing he finds is another hat, scarf, and mitten set, this one done in a rich, charcoal gray. It’s soft as anything, thick and plush, and Jack can already imagine how useful it’ll be in the coming months. 

He feels something hard nestled underneath, and at first he thinks it must be another pair of DVDs⁠—he’s sensing something of a theme with all of this. But when Jack investigates further, he instead finds a sketchbook. It’s a simple, solid thing, with a sturdy black cover and creamy white pages. The label on the back tells him that the paper is weighted for pencils, charcoal, inks, and water colors⁠—all of Jack’s preferred mediums, except that he’s sure he’s never told Davey any of that.

“Jack, can we watch this?” Tony asks, holding up the copy of ‘How to Train Your Dragon.’ “It’s s’pposed to be really good!”

“Sure we can, baby,” Jack says, running a trembling finger along the first page of the sketchbook, basking in the texture and scent of the fresh, crisp paper. “Go set up the DVD player and get the fort finished up. I’ll dish up our lunch and be right there.”

Slotted inside the book’s front cover is one last surprise⁠—a $25 dollar prepaid phone card for Jack’s cell phone. There a sticky note stuck to it that simply reads:

So you can actually call me back :)

Jack huffs out a laugh, then slips the note safely into his pocket, packing his gifts carefully back into their box. “Yeah, okay,” he murmurs, smiling to himself. “I think I can make that happen.”

00000

Chapter three here

Tag List: @yahfancyclamwiththepurlinside

[jamlally]

Family Fineary

This was written for the 25 days of Christmas Challenge that is hosted by  @panicfob .  The Day 2 Challenge prompt was Decorating the Tree

Warnings: Fluff 

Pairing:  OFC x Tony Stark (platonic)

Summary: Belle Porter has settled into her role as a part of the Avengers, at least as far as her work goes but when it comes to dealing with the team off the clock it is a different story

Belle rubbed her hand over her eyes, which were feeling the strain of the many hours that she had spent looking at digital files, maps and video feed finishing the analysis the last of the teams missions.  She loved her job but there was no denying that it could be tiring even though she wasn’t out in the field with the others. When Tony Stark had offered her the position as a mission analyst for the Avengers she couldn’t believe her luck.  She had been sure that he was about to kick her out of the training program, but he and Steve Rogers had seen something in her and now here she was today

It was well into December and she was just coming up on the year anniversary of officially joining the team, Steve and Natasha had been been teasing her about it over the coms when they were heading back, asking if she had any special plans.  She had tried her best to avoid getting too drawn into the conversation, mentioning that she might go out to dinner.  When they had asked whether her family would be joining her she had told them that they were busy and couldn’t make it.  The truth was her family, well there was only her mother didn’t approve of her job and they wouldn’t want to be involved in any ‘celebrations’.  

She had called her Mother the evening that she signed the contract excited to share the news with her only surviving relative.  The sigh from her mother was not the reaction that she had expected

“Really Belle, I thought that you would grown out of the nonsense.  It is bad enough you picked all those courses to get into the SHIELD program but now you’re telling me not only are you staying there you will be working with those other people.  I mean really.  You can’t honestly expect me to be ok with you working with a group of people who, at any other time, would be called terrorists!”

“They aren’t terrorists Mum !.  They help people, they save lives.  You know that this is what I wanted to do.  I explained it all to you.  I’ve worked hard for this and I…I want you to be happy for me”. Her voice wavered as she struggled to try and make her mother see that thus was her dream

“They have killed people Belle!  Innocent people.  I don’t know why you can’t see what they truly are.  I want you to come home now and we will forget all about it.  I will talk with Mr Dickson in accounts at the office and see if he can’t find something for you to do here”

“I’m not coming home Mum.  This is where I want to be, it’s what I am going to do.  I .. I need for you to support me”

The dead line had been her answer and Belle hadn’t spoken to her Mother since then.  She had  tried writing but had only received radio silence. She had accepted that this was the way things would have to be, but with it coming up to Christmas she couldn’t help but feel a little maudlin and alone 

Tonight was movie night in the compound for the team, and as always an invitation have been extended to her, this time by Bucky.  The usually quiet super soldier had sought her out just as she was heading out to grab a coffee

“Hey Snowflake - wait up !”

Belle had rolled her eyes at the use of her callsign.  Tony had dubbed her Snowflake when he offered her the job and the name had stuck.  Mostly because every time he introduced her to someone he offered that as her name.  She had tried to object at first but had quickly realized that Tony did what he wanted so discretion became the better part of valor and she stopped correcting him

“Hey Bucky, is everything OK?” She couldn’t help but worry. It was unusual for Bucky to approach her for anything other than comment son the mission and how he felt that they could have adjusted the plan.  As much as she wanted the coffee she wouldn’t rush what ever Bucky had to tell her.  His thoughts had helped her learn and grow and he wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t important.

“Wrong?  Nothings wrong Doll”. He gave her a soft smile “I just thought you might have forgotten than tonight’s movie night.  It’s Nat’s pick and she usually has something good.  The plan is to meet in the common room at 8.  There’s gonna be pizza and beer”

Belle felt her body relax a little.  She had plans for a quiet evening in her apartment and she was looking forward to it 

“Oh right yeah movie night….” Belle dropped her gaze looking at the floor “You know it’s been a long week and with the mission wrap up and post analysis I’m kinda shot.  I think I’m going to have to pass this time,  Sorry”

Her face was growing warm with embarrassment.  One of them always made sure that she was invited to group events, but she just didn’t feel that she belonged.  She didn’t know how to fit in with them on a social level.  Isolating herself to do well in school and college had a lot of benefits but it left her social skills a little lacking.

“You sure I can’t change your mind.  If you think you’ll need more time to get things wrapped up we can wait for you” Bucky pushed 

“No really Bucky.  I’m, well I’m probably going to be lousy company tonight.  I’ll be asleep 5 minutes in”. She saw his small smile fade as he stepped away.

“Sure thing” 

She watched as he shoved his hands into his pockets and walked away and she felt the guilt gnaw at her. It probably took a lot for him to come and extend the invitation.  She wasn’t even sure how many more times it would happen before they just gave up

“Hey Bucky” She waited for him to look back at her “Thank you - for the invite.  It means ….well it means a lot to me, you know ?” Her face was sure to be scarlet but she needed him to understand that she appreciated the way he had put himself out there.

Bucky’s warm smile let the guilt ease up a little “Sure thing Doll, Enjoy your evening”

When Bucky came into the rec area later that evening he was greeted with hopeful expressions that fell when they saw he was alone.

“Is Snowflake just on her way up?” Steve was the first to ask

Bucky shook his head “ She couldn’t make it tonight.  Said she was tired after the week and wanted a quiet evening”

“Thats like the 100th excuse that she had made to not come and join in.  I’m starting to think she doesn’t like us” Clint grumbled

“She seems fine over the coms and when we are on missions and when I’ve seen her getting coffee she seems happy to chat.  I don’t think she she feels badly about any of us” Wanda cut in 

“Maybe she’s got other things to plan.  You know like Christmas gifts for her family.  When is she heading home ?.  Tony!”

Tony glanced up as Sam called his name “Snowflake, when is she heading home for Christmas?”

“Oh ah I’m not sure.  Her request is somewhere in my inbox.  Look the pizza is getting cold, the beer is getting warm and non of us, including the two Old Men are getting any younger, so lets get the movie underway”. 

Tony waited until the lights when down and people were eating before pulling out his Stark Pad and looking through his messages.  He didn’t have a request for time off from Belle.  In fact other than the mission reports he didn’t have anything from her. He paid no attention to the movie as he ran though all the interactions that he had with her.  They were positive.  She was happy and open and always had the information that he needed to hand,  In fact the work that she had been doing had made the team more effective than he could ever have hoped.  

He remained lost in his thoughts, working through and rejecting ideas and possibilities and as soon as the lights came up he made his excuses and left the room a plan of action firmly in place in his head.

Steve hadn’t been expecting to be called down to the Lab at 6am two days after movie night.  He had been getting ready to go for a run but knew that his duty had to come first.  Being greeted by Tony wearing the same clothes as he had been on movie night was shocking and made him fear the worst.

‘What are we dealing with?”

“What do you know about Belle’s family?”

“Belle?”

“Yes Belle.  Agent Porter, Snowflake!  Jesus is it the ice or old age that has gotten to your brain?”

“I know who Belle is and there is nothing wrong with my brain.  I know exactly the same as you do.  Father deceased, her mother lives in the same town Belle grew up in”

“Well it turns out I know a bit more than that.  Sit down we need to have a conversation”

The rain lashed against the window and thunder rumbled somewhere in the distance.  Belle sat snuggled on her bed a fluffy blanket wrapped around her body and Nina Simone playing softly in the background.

The day had been easier than some, mostly analysis reviews of data sent on from SHIELD agents.  She was trying to work on a predictive model to see if that would help them.  She wondered wether she should ask some of the others and see if they had any input, but she really wanted to have something more concrete to take with her, not just a pipe dream.  

Slipping off her bed, holding the blanket close around her she shuffled through to the small kitchenette.  The apartment came with the job Tony had explained.  It made it easier for her to be available 24/7. She loved the fact that she was able to prepare her own food without having to go to the common floors and worry about having to try and make conversations with the others.  Lifting the lid off the pot she had on the stove she took a deep breath smiling at the warm spice , citrus and wine smells.  Mulled wine was one of her favorite treats of the season and she had this batch brewing since mid morning.  Filling her glass and tuning off the burner she turned to head back to her room and her book.

Settled in her cosy nook Belle took a sip of the warm drink sighing in pleasure.  She wondered whether she should go out and try and find a small tree for her room, maybe a few decorations to brighten the place up. She was just considering picking up her tablet to see if she could find something online  when the peace was broken 

“Apologies Agent Porter but Mr Stark is in need of your assistance”  F.R.I.D.A.Y’s gentle voice sounded  “He has asked that you meet him on the communal floor as a matter of urgency”

Why on earth did Tony need to see her there?  Usually she met him by her office or in the Lab.   Shrugging out of her blanket she pulled on some boots and a large sweater. She was grateful she hadn’t had more than one full glass of the wine.  If they had a mission then she needed to be on the ball.

“Sure thing F.R.I.D.A.Y. Please let Mr Stark know I’m on my way”

Tony sat in the the Rec area, lights dimmed enough to make it seem soothing but not so much that it would be hard to see. He cast his eyes to the corner looking at his surprise, that was for later -  but to get  there he needed to have a conversation and see if he couldn’t work things out.  He hated having to do this, it made him uncomfortable -the touchy feely stuff.  Normally he would have passed this off to one of the others, but tonight he knew that this was his responsibility and there would be no shirking.

F.R.I.D.A.Y pinged letting him know Belle was getting off the elevator and he turned to the doorway, hip resting against the back of the couch, whisky glass in hand, the only sign of his stress being the way he swirled the ice around.

“Tony?”

He could hear that her voice was timid, nervous, in a way she hadn’t been since she first joined

“Over here Snowflake” he called out pulling her attention his way 

“Do we have a mission?”

“Of sorts I supposed.  Come on in” he gestured her forward.  You know I’m not always good at seeing the bigger picture. That’s why we hired you.  You help us all see a little more.  You are one of those crystals we talked about, when you got the job remember ?  See the thing is, its hard for a man like me to admit that I have some gaps in my knowledge. It doesn’t happen very often, but I can admit that I have..flaws”. He paused taking a sip from his glass “

The other day I realized that you hadn’t requested holiday leave, so I made some calls, and had an informative talk with you mother.  She’s an interesting lady you know, She had all kinds of things to tell me”

Belle’s breath caught in her chest “My mother. I really wish you hadn’t, she can be a difficult person”

“I think the phase you are looking for is  raging hell bitch.  I mean at first she thought you were dead, and she asked if I would be paying for your funeral and then she got very angry when I asked about her holiday plans.  Why didn’t you tell us, tell me even -  about the fact she disowned you?”

Humiliation rose and Belle struggled to find the words to explain 

“Tell you the she hates the fact I have my dream job. Or that she hates who I work for, or that she found it easier than she should have to turn her back on me.  You’re my employer Tony.  You’re a busy man saving the world and doing what others can’t.  You don’t need to spend your time worrying about my screwed up family”

Tony moved to sit on the ottoman patting the sofa seat opposite. “Come and sit a minute I need to explain something”. He waited for her before he leant forward resting his arms on his knees.

“I get what it’s like to have a shitty parent, I do. My Father and I - we didn’t get on.  I think now I understand a little more about him, but I still can’t forgive him. The thing is, you can’t let let the way that your mother treated you affect whether or not you let anyone in.  Take it from someone who knows, that’s a lonely and unhealthy road.  It's taken me a long time to find my way off that path,  and I only did it with the support if the family I built.  The ice cubes, point break, widow, bird brain, big green, all of them help me be better.  They’re my family and we want to be yours”

Looking up at him tears running down her cheeks Belle couldn’t find the words

“I get that it’s hard.  It’s just been you for so long, but it’s time to let people in, to build your family.  You know when we invite you to the team stuff, we want you there.  We want to hang out and chat and have fun, but you have to take that step”

“I… I don’t know how:|” her voice broke “I don't have anything to bring to conversation, all I can tell you is about what I learn, the missions,  You don't get it but I didn’t  have friends.  Not at school or college. I don’t even know how to deal with it “

Tony’s heart broke a little.  He wasn’t sure how he hadn’t seen what  a hard time Belle was having.  She hid her concerns so well but really she was lost and he had failed her. Hand shaking slightly he reached out and clasped her shaking hands in his own “ Everyone feels like that sometimes, but you work it out.  The old men, well they like to talk about the 40’s, Nat and Clint like to talk about what ever they’re watching on TV,  Bruce will talk about science until you wish he would shut up.  You get there by learning a little about them, ask them what they’re reading, what they did on a day off and listen.  Just one step at a time Snowflake”

Belle nodded trying to process all the information could she really do it, take that step and let these people be her family?

“I’m going to help you with that first step Snowflake. F.R.I.D.A.Y Can you let Point Break know we’re ready”

Belle found herself blinking in surprise and wiping at her face wondering what the hell Tony was talking about now.

“Stark!”  A booming voice called out making Belle jump, “It is good to see you again my friend,  I thought I should like to enjoy some Midguard Winter festivities with you all !”

“Point Break, welcome back to earth. There is someone I would like you to meet, a new member of the team since you were last here”

Belle found herself face to face with the largest and possibly the loudest person she had ever met

“Belle, meet Thor, Thor is this Snowflake”

“My Lady Belle, a pleasure to make your acquaintance.  Come tell me all about what you do here.  I am excited to spend time learning of your Winter customs”

Belle found herself swept along in conversation with the Asguardian King and when ever there was a lull in the conversation she tried to remember what Tony had told her and asked Thor questions about the customs on Asguard.

Tony poured himself another drink and watched.  He could see that Belle was getting more comfortable as she spent time with Thor.  It had been fortuitous that the Asguardian had come for one of his visits. He couldn’t think of a better person for Belle to have her first family interaction with, Thor could hold a conversation with himself in an empty room, but he had a good heart and loved to meet new people.

Keeping his voice low he decided it was time to implement phase 2 “F.R.I.D.A.Y  Let Capsicle know that we are good to go”

Belle found herself relaxing as Thor told her about the time that he managed to get both of the Super soldiers drunk “You should have seen them Lady Belle.  Neither could stand and Barnes was singing some song about putting rings on things that he had heard”.

Belle chuckled as he imagined the scene.  Neither Bucky or Steve were well known for letting their hair down so to speak.

“Ah speak of the devil, Rogers! Good to see you “ 

 Belle felt herself freeze up turning to see the other team members entering the room. Tony caught her eye and winked before heading over to the bar to pour drinks

“If you don’t mind we will stay off the Asguardian Mead for the moment this is a pre Christmas get together not a frat house party” he called out before opening a some bottle.  

“Hopefully you have  something festive there Tony” Nat called out

“Whisky is always festive Romanoff” 

Nat sighed “ Really ? Couldn’t the Catering company come up with something better?”

“Well this is more spur of the moment, so no you get what you get” Tony snarked back 

“Um actually … if you wanted.. I could maybe make some mulled wine” Belle didn’t raise her voice much but it was enough to catch Nat’s attention.  

“Mulled wine you say?  Well that certainly seems more occasion appropriate.  Move it Stark, at least Snowflake here knows how to create the right atmosphere”

“I’ll need to head back to my apartment, get the ingredients” Belle was feeling uncomfortable as all eyes seemed to focus on her

“Nah I bet you Tony as everything we need here in the rec room. Come on I’ll help you look” Clint threw his arm over her shoulder guiding her over to the pantry cupboards and fridges “Barnes why don’t you track down some red wine” he threw over his shoulder 

Belle gave a small smile as she sat between Bucky and Wanda on the sofa.  The others had bee telling stories about things they remembered or liked the most about Christmas.  They hadn’t gotten to her yet and she was worried about what she would say.  Would they laugh when she told them that it would be a toss up between this and last Christmas when she joined the team.

As the laughing quieted Tony stood and moved over to the side pulling out a large box.  “While I hate to call a halt to the festivities, I wanted to start our Christmas with a new tradition for us all “ He paused looking around the group.  “We may not always see eye to eye, or be in the same country, or  on the same planet” he inclined his head to Thor “But we are family, and this year, well I figured, while we are all still talking to each other, we should take note of that. So if you would all follow me”

Belle moved with the rest of the group to the far side of the Rec room where a large curtain had been hung “F.R.I.D.A.Y if you could “

The curtain dropped and behind it stood the largest and grandest tree that Belle had ever seen.  The green of its branches sparkled with white fairy lights and tinsel was strung around looking like a tasteful halter skelter .  Belle pulled her hand up to her mouth covering the gasp she let out.  

“The tree isn’t complete until we hang these” Tony moved stopping in front of Natasha “Widow” he extended his hand to her placing a delicate hand blow glass ballet slipper in her hand, before moving through the rest of the team. Each received an ornament special to them.   Clint got a golden bow, Bucky was gifted a glass bauble that showed a beautiful Christmas tree inside decorated as if it was 1940.  Steve got a book resting on a shield, Sam a peace dove suspended in glass, Wanda a bauble containing a picture of her brother, Bruce a glass hulk in a Santa hat, Thor a glass copy of his hammer and then finally he stopped in front of Belle and held out his hand 

Belle looked up at him , her cheeks pink from laughter and the effects of possibly too much wine and her eyes bright. “Last but by no means least - this is for the newest member of the family”

Tony’s smile was soft as he rested her ornament gently in her hand. Belle looked down and saw the most beautiful snowflake made out of a lightly tinted blue glass.  Belle looked back up smiling at him 

“Thank you Tony .  It is truly one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen”

“Did you know that snow usually look blue when it is deepest?  Its a strange effect of the light” He winked at her gently squeezing her hand before clearing his throat

“Well what are you all waiting for - decorate the tree my Christmas minions” He clapped gesturing for the others to go forward.  

Having hung the ornaments Belle stood back and admired the way they sparkled on the tree, each stood out on the branches but there was something missing.  

Belle excused herself saying she needed the rest room before heading to her apartment “F.R.I.D.A.Y I need your help…..”

Belle was gone for a surprisingly long time, long enough that Tony was thinking of going to look for her when she bounced back into the room.  

“Everything good Snowflake?” 

“Oh yes, sorry I had something I had to deal with but its all good now” 

Her smile was slightly too bright but Tony didn’t want to push her in front of the others.  He would ask F.R.I.D.A.Y later.

Belle was enjoying listening to Bucky talk about Christmas with is family when he was a younger boy when F.R.I.D.A.Y interrupted “Agent Porter your item is ready”

“Your Item?” Tony questioned. 

“Yes F.R.I.D.A.Y was helping with something, that’s ok right?” She worried for a moment that she had overstepped 

“Sure” Tony gestured “what’s mine is yours and all that - well other than the suits, cars and bank accounts but you know what I mean”

Belle smiled in relief before getting up “ Ok well I’ll be back in just a minute”

When she came back out of the lift she had her hands behind her back and her confidence seemed to have wavered as she went up to Tony 

“I just had to say thank you - to you all.  This, well this has been the best Christmas celebration that I have ever had and I promise that I’m going to try harder to spend time with you all.  The thing is “ they could hear her deep breath as she paused “when you gave us those beautiful ornaments, well there was one missing.  It’s not as beautiful as the ones you had made for us, but the family tree wouldn’t be complete if you weren’t on it”

Her hand shook as it extended and she pulled her lip between her teeth.  She knew he didn’t like to take things from people but perhaps he might make an exception.

Tony tilted his head looking at her questioningly before looking back down at her outstretched hand

“Belle how about I take….” Sam headed over before Tony waved him away 

“Back off Bird Brain this is my gift”. He held out his hand and Belle placed a small glass globe of his own into his hand. He looked closely, inside was a computer chip on one side it showed the Stark industries Logo and the other the Avengers Logo with the outline of his helmet resting below

His smile was gentle and warm as he turned it around letting it spin and catch the light before heading to the tree to hang it securely in its branches. Stepping back he placed his arm around Belles shoulders pulling her into his side before kissing her on the head.  

“Merry Christmas Snowflake”

[dbwords]

I Moved to Australia!

On January 14, 2017, I picked up *almost* all my possessions in 2 very heavy suitcases and went to the airport at 7 in the morning. Together with my family and my closest friends, we braved the cold of that Canadian winter, and made the small journey that begins the bigger journey.

Going to the airport is very emotional. Either someone is leaving, or someone is arriving! As someone who doesn't travel by plane too often, I get this fun feeling when I go to the airport of, “Oh, let’s just buy the cheapest ticket and go somewhere!” I’m sure you know the feeling. But this time I actually was going somewhere! And it wasn’t just for a little getaway...

2.5 years ago, in the (Canadian) summer of 2014, I was introduced to a side of Hillsong that I never knew existed. I’ve listened to their music for years, and knew a little bit about the College they have. However, I just thought it was a Pastoral and Music school, because everyone I knew that had gone did one of those two things. One of these people -his name is Ian- I came to know in May 2014. He went to Hillsong College for Music, but I met him because he was directing a documentary that my church was involved in. As this documentary came to a close, I saw on Instagram that Ian had said something about how doing this directing made him want to go back to Hillsong College to take their TV & Media Stream. Being into filmmaking and videos and cameras myself, it instantly peaked my interest. I had no idea that Hillsong College offered a TV course! I went to their website and starting researching this course. Seeing the website, it instantly hit me, “This is it. This is what you have to do.”

Okay, so what do you do with that? I was 17 at the time, I still had to finish Grade 11, and was just about to go into Grade 12. So I had bigger things to think about, like just getting good grades and finishing High School. But at the same time, the very real reality that Graduation was coming quick was staring me in the face. 

For a little while, it was all I could think about. That summer, I told my parents. Despite me springing it on them by quite literally telling them as we were about to sit down for supper, they were very supportive and excited! That’s been a huge blessing for me my whole life, is that my parents have always believed in me and had my back. I think it’s partially why I felt I could do this, because I knew I had such a strong support system at home. They never once, before or after telling them, told me that I HAD to go to school and do something “real”. They trusted me, and more importantly, God, enough to let me dream and chase after what ever passion was on my heart. So the weeks and months carried on, and I actually kind of forgot. Well, not actually forgot, but I got busy, so it was put on the back-burner. But, like, the one thats so cold it might not start. My mom would bring it up now and then, and I would sort of shrug it off. Not wanting to answer, or think about my future. She didn't nag me about it, but as time went on, she was still bringing it up, so I started thinking about it more, and realized that there was nothing else that I wanted to do. Even though I had left it alone for awhile, I was still so sure that this was it. So Grade 12 carried on, and as everyone was stressing about applying for Universities and all that, I was able to truly enjoy my last days in High School, because there was nothing that was gonna persuade me away from Hillsong College. I knew this was God’s plan for my life. 

I began to get more and more interested in filmmaking, and got a random job here and there. I was also fortunate enough to get a steady job at the University of Alberta Bookstore a month out of High School. It’s funny, I didn't want to go to University as a student, so I worked there instead. That job was awesome, and probably the best non-video related job I’ll ever have. During High School, and a bit during the summer, I was able to build my Freelance portfolio a bit, but I got too busy with the Bookstore and wasn’t able to take any jobs while working there. Then the job ended at the end of January, and I was lost. That’s probably the closest I’ve ever gotten to depression. Even though I had all the time in the world to make any video I wanted, I had no drive to do so. Some days, I barely got out of bed, let alone make a video for myself or a client. I spent my days at home with my mom, looking for jobs online that I didn't want, and wasting time on my computer, not getting any real work done.

It wasn't until late March or April until I started getting out of the house more. Guess where I spent most of my time outside of my house? My church. It’s my second home, and I was able to work on some video stuff for my church during that time. Doing this work got me back in the spirit of filmmaking, and in early May, I reached out to an old contact that I knew was in “The Biz”. I showed him my film reel that I was able to edit during that time off, and we met for coffee. I knew he was working on and releasing a documentary, so I offered my services for whatever they needed. At this coffee meeting, we were able to chat and share and connect so naturally, despite not seeing each other in about 2 years. We had barely known each other to begin with. Our friendship being so strong was honestly God. He knew that this was what I needed, and Joses (the guy) also needed the help. I started volunteering as a second editor at their Production Office the following week, and that carried on through the summer. It was so much fun, and I was able to be part of some really awesome stuff, and do some things that I’m proud to put my name on.

An opportunity came to go back to the University of Alberta to work, and being in the position of need some more stable finances, I took it. This time, the job was in Parking Services. Basically, I walked around the University campus looking for people who hadn't paid for parking. Yeah, I was “that guy”. It was the perfect job for the time I got it. I knew I needed something to help me out before I came to Australia, and this was it. It was good pay, but I’m glad it was just for that short season. I don’t think I could see myself there for the long haul. It just wasn't me. So that took me right up to Christmas 2016. I had an amazing, relaxing break with friends and family, and started to get prepared to move. There were a lot of things that I had to take care of over the course of the year to make moving a reality, so in January all I had to do was pack. The first two weeks of January 2017 flew by, and the 14th came, and this crazy adventure began. 

If there is something specific you would like to know more about, or just have something to say, feel free to contact me! Thank you so much for reading this, and I hope you got something out of my story. God bless you.

Daniel Brown - 2017