#this one is a big turning point of them slkgjsdgklj

[alternianative]

Unforgivable

Consciousness came first as a terrible ache that radiated from their collarbone and head, and out along their arms. Then it solidified itself as confusion, why were they in so much pain…? Apibom opened their eyes, blinking sluggishly as they struggled to recall just what had happened. Weren’t they working on a project…? Just when did they get into their recouperacoon? They shifted, trying to get up, and let out a whimper of pain as their body protested the movement.

Sopor had some healing effects but not enough to take care of whatever had happened to them. They managed to tumble out of the recouperacoon - dizzy and disgruntled. They’d gone to sleep with their clothes on…? No, no, they hadn’t done that. The shutters that covered the windows when the sun rose were open, it was still night time but what night was it? They carefully peeled off their sopor-soaked clothes, inspecting the damage done to their body - nasty yellow bruising where they’d been struck by powerful fists…

Fists. It was starting to come back, now. The sound of shattering glass, rushing to get their daggers before going outside to confront whoever or whatever had done it… a tall, anonymous troll that wouldn’t reveal the reason he’d come, just that it was a lesson for them to learn. They’d  been winning, hadn’t they? He’d… he’d knocked them out, a blow to the head and that was it. Fluff… Where was their lusus?

They redressed, moving as quickly as they could with the damage, then went out back to assess the damage. Except… there was no damage out back. The bees’ hive remained perfect, untouched. Drones were buzzing in and out like normal, as if nothing had happened at all. Apibom stared in confusion for a few moments before turning to make their way to the front of the hive. Had it been a dream? But that didn’t explain why they were so beat up.

No, it wasn’t a dream- the windows were still shattered. Two now, he must’ve broken the other one after knocking them out. What a petty, stupid thing to do. They went out front to see if any further damage had been done only to find that no, aside from the windows, their hive was completely untouched. He’d obviously taken the time to put them into their recouperacoon and nothing on the inside was damaged either. Apibom’s confusion only grew. They were supposed to learn some kind of lesson from this but the lesson had not been specified, and they didn’t even know who had sent the messenger.

They went back inside, to the bathroom to inspect their wounds from a better angle. It took some effort to strip the top off again but this was… important. It would impact their job performance no doubt. The bruising was pretty bad. Judging from the pain in their collarbone, it might be cracked at the least. The medical bills would no doubt be astronomical. A strange mark on their face lingered from a blow he’d doled out with that ring of his. Api leaned in to try and inspect it but it was difficult to make out what the shape was.

They leaned back, redressed, and then went to clean up the glass shards. The troll hadn’t given a name or a sender, but Api at least knew that he was a greenblood… and there was another color, wasn’t there? They tried to remember… a kick flew past their head - pink laces flashed before their eyes. Seadweller pink. Philip had said that the group he was tracking was involved with a seadweller, right? Maybe that’s what this was – they’d been seen with him when he was tailing that troll and therefore they were now wrapped up in this thing, whatever it was. They didn’t want to be involved. It had been pure chance, hadn’t it? They would need to talk to Philip, they supposed.

As they swept the remnants of their windows into neat little piles, the familiar loud buzzing sound of their lusus began to fill the air. Apibom did not cease their cleaning, instead focusing more on it. They weren’t sure they wanted to speak to her - they’d called for help, hadn’t they? She’d been watching, hadn’t she?

’You are awake.’

Api spared a glance to her - she’d perched on the now empty windowsill. She looked… completely unharmed. Exactly the same as she always looked - not one thing out of place. Api wasn’t sure if they were relieved she’d been spared, or angry that she hadn’t suffered a similar fate.

“How many did we lose?” They asked, returning their gaze to the floor.

’I lost none.’ Came her reply. Cold and distant like always, and corrective. They were her drones, not Api’s.

They stopped sweeping, tried to breathe in deeply and winced from the pain it caused. “Why didn’t you help me? I called for you.” They turned to stare at her, and tried to sound even… almost as detached as she was.

’This was a lesson that you needed to learn, that I have not been able to teach you.’ She replied simply.

Apibom wondered if perhaps they misheard her. “Could you run that by me again? A lesson I needed to learn?” What could possibly be learned by being attacked randomly!

’You need to learn your place, this was an opportunity to learn that. Have you learned?’

Ah-- so she… she thought they deserved it. For what? What had they done to deserve that? “Why, because he’s green you wouldn’t step in? He’s one station above me. One.” They could feel the anger rising - mixed with hurt, betrayal, a profound sadness.

’Did you not see the royal hue adorning his shoes? You have clearly acted out of line enough to garner the interest of those far above you, Apibom. This is a lesson you needed to learn.’ She was unmoved. Apibom hadn’t expected her to care, but it hurt nonetheless.

“So you’ll just assume that a troll wearing purple shoelaces is automatically tied to royalty. You just assume that I did something terrible enough to deserve having my hive trashed.” Their voice was shaking now - it was hard to maintain control over their words.

’You have been disrespectful, Apibom. Did you forget that I hear about everything you do? Everything you say?’

Yes, Api knew that the drones they had on them reported back to her when they returned home. She couldn’t - or maybe wouldn’t - accompany them whenever they left the hive so it was only natural that she sent eyes and ears for her instead. And the drones couldn’t really think for themselves, all they could do was report back anything they’d witnessed. Still - this was too much for them to take lying down now.

“You’re unbelievable. Would you have just let them cull me, if that was what they were after? You’re my lusus - we’re supposed to take care of each other. I take wonderful care of you, your colony never goes hungry. You never want for anything. And what have you done for me?” They tossed the broom aside, anger clouding their mind with each accusatory word.

’A drone that cannot properly serve the hive cannot be permitted to continue using up valuable resources. It must fall in line, or perish.’

All at once the anger dissipated, replaced by the terrible cold of betrayal. Despair. Was there a word adequate enough to describe this? “You don’t care about me at all, do you…” It wasn’t a question, more of a realization. Fluff did not immediately respond. “All my life you’ve never once approved of anything I’ve done - never once have you had my back.” Their voice was shaking, straining with the effort not to burst into tears.

’I do not have to love you to sculpt you into the best tool for your purpose.’ Came her reply.

“Get out. Get out of my hive, now.” They didn’t want to hear any more. She did not immediately move from her place on the windowsill.

’You still have not learned, have you.’ A statement, not a question.

Apibom ignored the protest of their body to lean over and pick up a fallen decorative vase, then threw it at her. She immediately rose up into the air, hovered in place for a few moments, then returned to her hive. She couldn’t make expressions, not really, but Api was certain if she could she’d look disappointed.

She could be disappointed all she wanted. Api didn’t need her anymore - not really. They’d gotten by so far with her only negatively influencing their life. And sure, she was right. A drone that only dragged on the resources of the colony had no use. No purpose in sticking around… but,

What Fluff had done was unforgivable… Apibom was no longer willing to ignore her constant sleights, disparaging comments, and attempts to control their life. A queen that was bad for the colony could also be replaced.