#this movies is like a ballet to me i cant explain or describe why

[raccooninthedaytime]

I could not imagine going to the theater in 1968 and seeing 2001: a space odyssey. We hadn’t even made it to the moon yet and here is this 2.5 hours of the vastness of space and a lack of control. I think id start bleeding from everywhere

[and-i-uh]

Who’s ready for some facts about me? These are all related to me being autistic. Here we go;

- i go out of my way to listen to the rain. Its not just a “i enjoy nature” thing, its a legitimate stim thing. I love all the tiny sounds that come with it, the smell, the slight wind, how it looks. Its just great. Anytime its raining when something memorable goes on, that automatically a positive memory for me. Just moved into a new apartment? Boom i now love that apartment even though everyone else hated it. 3am and i cant sleep when im supposed to wake up at 5am? Normally i would feel the opposite but ill open my window and sit in front of it for a while.

- i dont shave my legs. Now this can be a personal preference to say f u to the patriarchy, but it literally hurts me to shave and idk how i went and shaved my legs for a whole two years. Never again. I actually used to use nair, when i first was pressured into shaving, but it smells horrid so i stopped like immediately. Also any type of shaving gets really slimy and thats wack. I also dont shave my tiny mustache or pluck my eyebrows bc why the hell would i.

- i hate meat. Im not just an avid hater of meat bc of the meat industry or the fact theyre animals. I hate the texture. And the taste. And i dont like sausage for a different reason thats unrelated to me being autistic but if that other reason didnt exist, id probably still hate sausage. Its hard to explain but i think its bc meat is typically muscle and muscle is made to move. And i hate shit thats been alive and moving idk it makes me want to barf. And the taste just isnt right. Ew. Yknow. For the opposite reason i love veggies. Anything super healthy i love. Its weird. Idk why. Also fruit. Im basically vegetarian but not in practice bc i cant just not eat meat where i am atm. I just dont have that luxury and yeah it sucks but at least i eat. Similarly thats also why i hate the sounds of ripping flesh! :) like in that one gorey ass vampire movie. Gave me anxiety for the rest of the night and the next day. Not okay.

- ive always loved having short hair! When i was barely in preschool i had short hair. It grew out and stuff by the time i was in mid-elementary school. I got it chopped to my shoulders cause i used to refuse to brush my hair. And then i got an uber short pixie in fifth grade. I grew it out to mid-torso length bc of low self esteem, but gradually got it cut shorter and shorter. First to my shoulders, for a while, then a little higher, and then when it was about armpit length again i chopped it to about where it is now. Im planning on shaving my head in a year or so. When i come out people will think i cut my hair so i look more neutral but no its bc i hate having hair on my neck. I actually felt horrible for several months before i got it cut. Like i was thinking about finally cutting it in junior year around November and didnt cut it until july. And i had actually chopped it chin length the previous august. Its been a journey.

- i hate shoes. Ive just got terrible balance when wearing them. Flip flops are the best shoe. For summer. In winter i go converse. Everyone yells at me about proper foot support but no way im not gonna feel the floor. I can feel the floor in converse and in flip flops. I think its why im so unbalanced in dance class. Did i mention ballet shoes hurt my feet? They hurt my feet. Theyve got this despicable little sole that just stabs my foot. Thats all i know how to describe it. I find it super hard to walk in boots and like,,, uggs. Bc theyre,,, they kinda hurt to walk in. Like technically yeah i could get some doc martens to look more gay but my feet would hurt so id rather not.

Okay thats the five paragraphs yall get for today have fun.

[woodlandcrone]

Dream time:

The first part of my dream was me failing my french class for not making enough ballet reference (quote: “you should ve said in your text how long it takes to go from flat to en pointe”) even though the text was not about ballet and my gf comforting me and confirming that it was bullshit while i was literally ripping my teachers comment to shreds

Second part of the dream was an hd remake of super mario sunshine (i think) and at the end of a race level there was a weird ship with a million engines and levers to control it; on the top level of the ship there was what i can only describe as a server room (as in internet servers) but served (lol) as the main control room to pilot the ship. So i go and press a bunch of buttons and what do you know, super mario sunshine just turned into super mario grand theft auto because im driving a fucking car into crowds of people but since its a mario game there are no consequences so i just keep going cause its fun as hell. Cut to princess peach who got a v short haircut and whos just chilling in delfino plaza (populated by real ass people); she walks by a peach impersonator whos just singing about dumb stereotypes of peachs life (like getting kidnapped and shit) and the real peach does not stand for this, no siree; she starts singing back and it ends up w the 2 of them going to the beach to chill. Peach and NotPeach get harrassed by dudebros and they try to go swim as far as possible like up to the “this is as far as u go” rope but lilo from lilo and stitch tries to follow but immediately almost drowns because she somehow cant swim; peach lets her float on her stomach while shes swimming on her back and they somehow end up in a cramped bathroom so they just put lilo in the bath so she can still play in the water. Nani shows up and freaks out because apparently shes dead and shes been looking for lilo, whos also dead, so they can move on into the afterlife. Peach says she can help and touches nanis arm to switch bodies w her.

Third part of the dream: i am either nani or alice from alice in wonderland and im recruiting help to find my husband (?) And wake up from a shitty dream im having (meta as hell) so jumba, someone else enroll and 1 alien aswell but they immediately go off to catch a smaller alien that can basically hide in its own mouth. When they come back they put the small alien on their head and it basically hide them in its mouth with only like 4 tentacly arms coming out and whatnot. At some point the 2 in 1 alien turns a corner and gets surrounded by a bunch of pirates (i think) and one woman points a fucking keyblade at their throat(?) And while the leader of the pirates is giving a speech the woman and 2 other pirates briefly get wrapped in bright light and when it goes out its fucking nani-alice and jumba w a different keyblade (psych) and they all run away. They go through a muddy town (or some suburbs) somehow nani-alice gets separated from the group and ends up stuck in an alley with the pirate leader where he gives her another speech but ///seductively/// because that always happens in movies where 2 characters are alone. He shows her an artifact that can help her get home (either a sphere or a pyramid, cant remember) and the 2 in 1 alien finds them and the pirate kills them. That sends nani-alice back a million miles and shes somehow a prisoner in a library now. Shes flipping trhough some books feeling very sad and she hears the 2 in 1 aliens voice sing softly from behind her. Somehow the 2 in 1 alien is humanoid now but can switch to spirit form at will. He spirit follows a guard down in the library basement and finds a key to free nani-alice even though shes not in a cage or anything. When he comes back w the key absorbed in the spirit body, another guard is snarking @ nani because apparently all her friends are dead and shell die in the library. Ex 2 in 1 alien bludgeons the guard on the head and everyone escapes without any other shenanigans. They go through the same suburbs again but this time people are like fusing with each other and some guy fuses with his dog and its very gross. They finally stop at a very bad looking house and theres a crooked tree in front of the door that morphs into 2 dudes on top of each other. One is the pirate leader and the other one is a wizard. 2 in 1 spirit alien boy walks up to the tree and while its trying to ecplain why it murdered them he just starts pulling at the branches and snapping them in half. The pirate man screams at nanialice to make him stop cause hes probably counting on whatever connection they dont have to get out of this situation and nani alice just goes “fuck you” and the tree guy dies thrre in front of the house. When 2 in 1 and alice nani go in, they find a man whos basically gone fucking bonkers because nani was dead this whole time and he couldnt deal with it so he just kept painting her face over and over again and even made a replica of their family with painted lard. Like actual sculpted painted lard. Nani tries to explain that shes not actually dead and that he needs to snap out of this because its creepy as hell but he doesnt listen and keeps painting. Nani decides to just ignore that and starts throwing awaybthe creepier shit lying around the house but the man (husband?) Refuses to let her throw away the lard sculptures and just locks them in a closet.

End dream.