#this movie will suck fucking balls but the horse is awesome

[s-pyder]

🕷️blahbeau🕷️

[castielific]

Fancy and the Tramp

Yes! I just finished this one actually, so it's not technically a WIP anymore and the first chapter should be posted this weekend. Anyway, here is an extract to tease you until then, I hope it'll make you want to read more ;-)

 *********************

Dean's eyes bulge out, "That's way more than five hundred dollars."

"There's also an advance in there to buy some clothes for the engagement party."

"The what now?" Dean blinks dumbly for a second until his brain catches up to what is happening. "Dude, no, I'm done!" 

"You were the one to push it so far in the first place," Castiel reminds. Accuses, really. 

"I just wanted to eat fancy food, okay! Not, like, go steady."

"There will be lots of food at my sister's engagement party," Castiel tries to persuade. Badly. 

Dean gives him a nonplussed look. The cash feels heavy in his hand. He's never had so much before. This could help him get a new start. What's a night of playing Downton Abbey compared to the many many nights he might not have to freeze his ass off in the backseat of his car thanks to it?

"Why are you even doing this anyway? And why would you choose me? Do I look that desperate for cash?"

"No," Cas says after what's definitely a too long pause. Dean scowls. "You were in front of me in the coffee shop line. I heard you talking on the phone. You said you needed some cash to buy a new outfit for a job interview. Begged, really."

"Where the fuck do you get on listening in on other people’s conversation?" 

"I didn't listen, I just heard."

"You know, what? Fuck you," Dean spits, "I don't need that bullshit in my life right now." He has enough cash to get to Austin and replenish his stock of food, even buy some new clothes. At least this way he can keep his dignity rather than being insulted by a bunch of rich assh-

"Please," Castiel begs, following him as Dean storms away. "You don't understand…"

"Oh I understand perfectly," Dean says, stopping and turning around so brusquely that they nearly bump into each other. "You think you can shit on other people from your high horse and that they'll still do your deed for a few hundred bucks. Well, I'm not your freaking puppet, man."

"I have never shitted on any-" he stops himself with a frustrated groan, before turning on the puppy dog eyes. "Dean, please. Listen to what I have to say at least?"

"I know what you're gonna say. I've seen that movie before, Cas. You're going to bring me to that party, so you can parade me around like I'm some earned price or some shit. Meanwhile you get to appease mommy dearest and the clan of hyenas putting pressure on you to find a husband, while still having the satisfaction of giving them a huge fuck you by bringing a guy like me instead of the golden boy they're dreaming of."

"I-" Castiel stops himself, pursing his lips. "That's actually not that far from the reality."

"Of course it isn't. Told you, I've seen that trope before. Except this is real life and your plan sucks, so you can keep your money and I'll keep my dignity. Just grow a pair and tell them all to fuck off, will ya?"

"You sure do like saying that to people," Castiel sulks. "Are you sure you can't do it for me?" 

"Oh believe me I would love to tell your mom to fuck off, but I like my balls attached to my body, so that's a hard pass."

Castiel laughs slightly at that and Dean can feel his own anger start to abate at the sound. "Good self-preservation instinct on your part," Cas mumbles. The puppy look is still there, except now it's making him feel like he's kicked the puppy.  

"You know, we're in the 21st century, right? You shouldn't feel pressured to the point of inventing a boyfriend. Who gives a shit about that nowadays?"

"My family does," Castiel answers in a long sigh. "You don't get it, how could you... I have three brothers, Dean," Castiel explains. "Two sisters. My little sister, who is just nineteen, just got engaged. I was already seen as the irremediably unwed one and now I…," he pauses, sending a nervous look at Dean, looking ashamed.

"Oh come on. How hard can it be? You're rich, objectively good looking. Do you have weird kinks or something?"

 "I-I wouldn't know. I've never even been in a relationship before," he confesses, looking at the ground.

"When you say 'relationship', you don't mean you've never…" Dean inquires. Cas' cheeks redden, and Dean blows like he just got punched. "Wow. That sucks."

"Yes, it's very pathetic."

"What? Eh no, it's not pathetic. Surprising, yeah. But, to each their own, you know?"

Cas inclines his head like he's not sure he does know. 

"I'm sorry I tried to drag you in all of this. You seem like a good man. You don't deserve-"

"-to be served on a platter to your family?" Dean asks, searching Castiel's gaze until they exchange a smile. 

"Yes. That." The man is still looking dejected. The money is still in Dean's hand. That duck really was good. Damn it.

"The food better be freaking awesome," Dean relents with a frustrated grunt. Castiel seems instantly relieved. "And you're not pretty woman-ing me," he warns, pointing a finger at the other man. "I'm choosing my own clothes and I don't give a shit if I don't know which fork to use for fish."

Castiel's head is tilted and he's blinking owlishly, like he doesn't understand a word that Dean is saying. Figures. He's not sure how he could convince anyone that he's this dork's boyfriend, honestly. Naomi certainly looked like she wasn't fooled. 

"I'm sorry for the way my mother behaved toward you. I assure you, being yourself will be amply sufficient to the task."

"Dude, the way y'all talk, where do you come from, Victorian England?"

"I-I don't think I have English ancestry, no. Why?"

They blink at each other for some time. 

"I must be a freaking masochist."

Cas' face scrunches up even more in incomprehension. 

"Okay, let's be clear on one thing from the start. This is not a lifetime movie and I'm straight, so: no falling in love, get it?"

"I get it, Dean," Castiel nods. 

Well, that's it then, apparently Dean is going to a fancy engagement party with his new boyfriend. What a weird day...

[thisdiscontentedwinter]

I imagine Nick and Jai becoming a travel vlogger/blogger. Like Jai is the one behind the camera and Nick is like the one who talks and show people around. hahaha! i'm sorry this is out of nowhere, I really loved Adilting 101 and Nick and Jai

That would work so well for them! Nick would be so excitable in front of the camera, because everything is new and amazing to him! 

If you enjoyed Adulting 101, here’s a short Christmas story I wrote for them for a blog tour I did: 

Nickwakes up hot, with Jai plastered up against him, which is weird, becauseusually Nick is the one who goes all octopus in their sleep, and it’s a littlebit gross because they’re both slick with sweat where their bodies aretouching. But it’s also awesome, because Nick has a boyfriend and that boyfriend is Jai Hazenbrook. Jai is still the hottestguy that Nick has seen in all of his eighteen years—almost nineteen,thankyou—and somehow Nick is hitting that.

He’sstill not entirely sure how it happened, honestly. Like, they had this hook upthing first, and then this friends with benefits thing, and now they’re boyfriends.

Whateverthough, right? Nick’s not going to look this incredibly attractive gift horse inthe mouth.

Heunpeels himself from Jai’s side, rolls out of the narrow bed that wasoptimistically called a double by the hostel owners, and pads down the hallwayin his boxers to use the bathroom.

It’shot. Like, not sweltering or anything, but still super hot. Because it’sChristmas Eve, and no way should Nick be able to wander around in just hisboxers without freezing his balls off. The whole thing is making him…nothomesick exactly—he figures that he’s saving that for Christmas Day—but alittle wrong-footed somehow. Like logically Nick knows that half the world hasa summer Christmas. But when they were in the town center yesterday and Nickwas wiping sweat off the back of his neck while surrounded by tinsel andbaubles? It’s weird and wrong and Nick does not cope well with change.

Nickuses the bathroom, and then heads back down the hallway toward the room heshares with Jai. He covers a yawn with his hand and mumbles a good morning atone of the Japanese girls who arrived late last night.

Jaiis still sleeping when Nick gets back, and Nick takes a moment to bask in thesheer glory that is his boyfriend. And then, because he’s still half-asleephimself, Nick climbs back into bed, plasters himself against Jai, and divesheadfirst back into a warm, sweaty sleep.

***

Nickhas no money. Neither does Jai, but for some reason Jai seems to be okay withthis. He’s happy wandering the aisles of the local Countdown, checking out thedented tins, the slightly squashed produce, and anything teetering right on theedge of its Best Before date.

Nickis pretty sure they’re having canned tomatoes, sardines and pasta for Christmaslunch tomorrow.

Andhe’s totally okay with that.

Really.

Heis.

Totally.

Shutup.

Nicksquares his shoulders, ignores the massive display of glazed hams, refuses toeven glance at the gingerbread, and manfully adds a bag of chickpeas to theirbasket.

***

Theyeat lunch in the middle of the Octagon, sitting on the grass and watching thepeople go by. It’s all very festive and whatnot, but it still doesn’t feel likea real Christmas. This is a weird-ass backward New Zealand Christmas.

Thesun beats down on Nick’s shoulders.

“Youokay?” Jai asks him, looking up from his notebook.

Jaiis always writing things in his notebook. He’s the one that figures out thebudget, and their travel plans, and—as far as Nick knows—is probably writing acomprehensive list of all the things Nick does that annoy the absolute shit outof him.

“Yeah,”Nick says. “Totally.”

Totally.

***

Nick’snot-homesickness hits later in the afternoon, when he and Jai are meanderingdown a street somewhere near the center of town. Nick is not super good withdirections, or with knowing where he is at any given point in time. Jai is likea fucking homing pigeon though, so it all works out.

“Doesit feel like Christmas to you?” he blurts outside a gift shop selling way toomany sheep-related things.

Jailooks at him, brows raised. “Yeah, I guess.”

“Okay,”Nick says, because clearly Jai answered that question wrong and Nick needs tomake him see the error of his ways. “But there’s like no snow, and no Devon,and no Mom and Dad, and those are all totally things I am totally dealing with,right?”

“Totally,”Jai deadpans.

Whatan asshole!

“So.”Nick wrinkles his nose. “It’s not thosethings, or even the fact that your daypack is full of really, really sad food.It’s just… Christmas is supposed to be special, Jai, like presents special, and we don’t have any money to spend on presentsand that sucks.”

“Areyou regretting buying that giant tuatara in Rotorua?”

“No!”Nick lies.

Jai’smouth quirks up in a smile. “I got us a present, Nick.”

“What?”Nick punches him in the shoulder reflexively. Jai’s tough. He can take it.“When? What did you get us? Where is it?”

Jai’ssmile grows. He reaches out and takes Nick by the hand, and leads him down thestreet. They’re heading back toward the Octagon maybe? Nick really has no idea.Like maybe he’s passed these shops and things before, or maybe everything justlooks familiar because he’s stuck in the Matrix. It could be either.

“Imean…” Nick begins, and discovers his voice is smaller than he thought it wouldbe. “It’s my first Christmas away from home, you know?”

“Iget it, Nick,” Jai says, squeezing his hand and drawing him around the corner,and oh, yeah, they’re totally back in the Octagon. Nick’s sense of directionFTW! He’s still not entirely sure where they’re going though, not until helooks up and sees it.

Theshiny black posters in front of the cinema.

“Jai,”he says in a very reasonable tone. “Are we going to… Is…Please don’t be teasingme here right now, because, if you are, I will probably have to stab you.”

“Seemsa little excessive,” Jai comments, and then the blast of air conditioning fromthe cinema foyer is hitting Nick right in the face. Bringing him out in chills,actually.

“Iordered the tickets online last night,” Jai says, digging his phone out of hispocket and showing Nick the email confirmation. “And we’re getting popcorn too.”

Rogue One and popcorn!

AndJai and New Zealand!

Butmostly Rogue One!

Okay.No. Bad Nick. Bad boyfriend Nick.

Hesqueezes Jai’s hand hard as they join the queue, and bounces up and down on histoes.

“Youare the best boyfriend ever,” he says. “And this is going to be the best movieever!”

Jailaughs, and pulls him closer. “Merry Christmas, Nick.”

Andoh, yes, there it is. There’s what Nick needed to make it feel like Christmas.And it turns out that it’s not the weather, or the place, or the even thepresents. It’s the words; said with a smile, said with love. Nick grins andfills with warmth as he echoes them back to Jai:

“MerryChristmas.”