#this might not be posted until after i've gone away but oh well

[rookloveslyrics]

Lately I've been feeling not alive But you bring me back to life - Cloud 9 by Beach Bunny

[tanoraqui]

Dungeon Meshi Liveblog: Let's Eat!

(That is, let's live, want, connect... oh, you know what I mean by now)

I like how Yaad and the other living villagers can casually talk with the ghosts, because for all intents and purposes they were also ghosts... In fact, those who stayed and spent centuries going through the patterns of life even though all true meaning had been lost long ago were MORE "ghosts" than those who lost their corporeal forms because they wanted to escape so badly that they went wandering... That's so fuckin' good. I wanna eat this writing.

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Kabru just randomly walking out of the bushes the second Laios starts considering politics...love him. He was summoned. His PR spidey senses were going off.

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look at my boy, establishing his own authority.

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Lol this was me when we moved house last month, and my job was to just stand in the new living room and tell people where to put which box or piece of furniture. It's an important job in a task with a lot of people!

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FUCK YEAH, THAT'S MY MAN! HE LOOKS GREAT!

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fucking love the trope of "one savvy friend in the crowd who deliberately gets a supportive chant going." Of course it's Kabru.

Though it's important to note that the first thing someone called was, "The demon-eater's here!", and there was muttering while no one was entirely sure if that was a good thing or not... Kabru didn't start the rumble of the crowd; the rumble of the crowd is unavoidable, and you have to be aware of that. Laios has always been aware of that, he's just never known what to do about it, and so tried to avoid it. But he's not avoiding it anymore - so Kabru started the hype of the crowd.

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They're both right! In order to eat, you need to kill! A memento of a meal IS a spoil of war!

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They're unhappy bros... /laughing

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Shown: man desperately reassuring himself, and psyching himself up to eat this stupid dragon meat

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DADCHUCK. Istg my father has said the same thing to me.

p.s. oh thank god he's fully dressed again. it was indecent.

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Marcille is so resigned to this, and so...determined to see it as her own choice. "We all agreed", "I've got to go" - and I'm sure she does see it as her own choice, in a way, because this is how the world has always worked and she knows that. She knew that going in. Those who do ancient magic are arrested by the Elves of the West, that's just the "natural" consequence. She might've gotten away with it if she'd gone undiscovered, or if she'd stayed in the dungeon forever, but she didn't - she chose to pursue her craft, to save Falin, and to do everything after that, too, and so she implicitly chose the consequence with it. If it's unfair, well, thinking that changes nothing, so it's better not to think it.

Until Laios is like, "Actually, I might have political power now? And I'm SO goddamn tired of myself and people I love being punished just for being different, and interested in unconventional things. Let's try something."

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WELL-FUCKING-PLAYED! GET THEIR ASSES, LAIOS! It's especially great because I'm pretty sure he knows the answers to all of this by now? Power move!

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Is she sitting there completely nude except for jewelry and a short robe. Icons only, honestly. Though "we have the luxury of time" feels like so much of a threat from an elf.

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Hey, you did objectively defeat him! Okay arguably the Lion did but Laios did it first, he just also then talked to him, and got grabbed by friendly vine-tentacles. You didn't kill him, but that's not what Delgal asked for anyway!

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thinking about that post that observed that Thistle's driving madness was specifically getting Delgal home for dinner, to eat all together as a family again, and he wakes up to the sound of the people of the Golden Kingdom eagerly inviting the (new) king to eat, and him responding...crying... What is lost is lost, but life will go on.

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The moment when a character decides to lie to another character for their own good is always so compelling. The little moral quandary microcosm.

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So Yaad did know something of what passed between Delgal and Thistle, that drove Thistle down the path to dark magic. He know what it was his grandfather blamed himself for.

This is SUCH A GOOD AND QUIET-SAD DEATH SCENE, but as a consummate fan of 'actually, living is much much harder than dying, and much more interesting too', I do like to think Thistle lives and has to...figure out what to do with his life. And that 'what to do with his life' ends up including ancient magic mad science with Marcille.

...But honestly, even though that'd be fun for me, it seems almost cruel to Thistle. He's been alive for so long. Those he loved most are gone. He held the demon back from the surface, trapped in those books, for so long, even if it was in no way whatsoever with the good of the world in mind. If anyone deserves this peaceful death in (what he thinks are) his brother's forgiving arms, it's him.

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Unfortunately, my love, as has been ceaselessly proven in this story: that's life.

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Marcille has caught onto one of the major themes! However, this story still isn't in favor of afternoon special Moral of the Story - not of letting the characters wrap things up with a bow, at least. You just go on living and wanting and learning about and connecting with and killing new things, forever! That's how it goes! You never know everything and you're always a little bit starving!

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I really love this grumpy old man, and I want him to stick around and be one of Laios's advisors. He's an old gnome, he'll die as soon as an average tallman would anyway.

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This is a) very touching coming from Mithrun, who is only just regaining his own will to live, and b) almost tautalogical in this story EXCEPT that it is also clear that merely "wanting" doesn't mean you get to continue to live, it only means that you're alive in this moment - you also need to want to live MORE than whatever's trying to kill you wants to live.

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GREAT VISUALS!

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And then it's so small, so small that she could leave it behind entirely but Falin is still so kind that she picks it up anyway! Falin who looks at everyone and everything - ghosts and brothers and mad mages and dead dragons, the latter of whom were both violently oppressing her soul - and thinkgs "I gotta help." She's so good!

I'm really going to need to write a like 2k post-canon character study about how Falin has part of the spirit of a dragon in her chest which unfurls while she travels abroad and curls up again and hides when she's home with Marcille and especially with Laios, and how it's a metaphor for her own independence but also literally there is the spirit of a dragon. At the end of it she figures out how to nurture and commune with the dragon enough to have her own flight-capable wings.

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THIS IS SO FUCKING COOL-LOOKING. AUTOPHAGIC SELF-CREATION FOR THE FUCKING WIN!!

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YYEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

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fuck it, have a collage, because this bitch-ass website is about to cut off my photos-per-post. It can't HANDLE the sheet joy of Falin resurrection reunion hugs!!

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so many people love her, or at least are really emotionally invested in this now!! /sobs

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Lmaoooo

Laios: wracked with food poisoning because he ate raw walking mushroom Falin: great distress! Marcille: trying very hard to help, also thinking sooo hard that He Is An Idiot. [btw I love how it looks like she takes up holding her hair back with a band] Kabru: having his weekly moment, as he has for the past many years and will continue to have until he dies, of wondering if he shouldn't really have just killed this guy rather than let him become king

Kabru definitely wrote this whole ending narration btw. This is his press release from like 40 years in the future. And those kids! An orc kid and a kobold kid, and zooming out to show kids of other races, all playing together and going to lunch together!!

And then they all lived, and hungered and ate and killed and wanted and sought understanding and connected with one another and were part of the great circle of life, as happily ever after as one can get.

This story truly was delicious...in dungeon!

[sharkboywrites]

Can you do twst vice wardens (pls replace lilia with silver and ortho with ace) with a male reader that has a habit of not telling people about his various health problems. He has a whole iron deficiency and doesn’t tell anyone until he passes out in the middle of the hallway.

In the middle of a conversation he'll just drop an "Oh, my headaches going down" "you have a headache?" And such.

Thankyou!

"You what?!"

A/N: Hiii so sorry it keeps taking me forever to get to requests. I've been gone for a good amount of the summer on trips and stuff. I'm also dealing with some personal things. I made post about it, but for whatever reason it hasn't been seen. Anyways this request is so me, I'm either bothering people about my problems or literally never telling them to the point where it's concerning. I don't really talk about it but I do have some physical heath problems, so this feels nice for me to write.

Male reader, he/him pronouns used, author put his own health issues in just because, headaches, low iron, knee problems, heart problems.

Trey Clover

Trey is a very attentive older brother type, it would be very hard to hide something being wrong from him

But somehow you did

After all, with low iron, you never really know somethings wrong until you stand up

The two of you were relaxing after a lot of baking

Knowing there was an unbirthday party coming up, you decided to help him out

Unfortunately, you did over exert yourself quite a bit

You definitely felt off, but you decided it was fine and that it would probably go away

while the two of you were sitting down and talking, drinking some water, the timer went off

You went to get up and take the treats out of the oven when

uh oh

for a bit your head felt fuzzy, and you went down

To say Trey freaked out was an understatement

He really thought that you died for a minute

after getting you up and sitting you back down in your chair, he got the treats out of the oven himself

Once everything was settled and he made sure you were okay, you got a very lengthy lecture about taking care of yourself and telling people when you don't feel well

After this he gets very protective over you, constantly checking that you're okay and if you need anything

great job, you've activated the "big brother" part of Trey

Ruggie Bucchi

Ruggie could probably sense that something was wrong with you

Was he going to address it if you didn't say anything? no.

Listen, it's not that he doesn't care about you, it's just that he doesn't want to make extra work for himself

But don't worry, he ends up regretting that decision

When you're laying on your desk in pain

He stops and doesn't know what to do for a hot minute

And then he's off

He's running around the school trying to get what might help you

Water, food, pain meds

You want it? He's on his way to get it

He feels really bad about it later, please assure him

he'll get mad at you if you admit that it's common for you to never actually teel people you're in pain

He's also paranoid from now on

He'll constantly carry ibuprofen on him just in case and is very vigilant of your body language

he's worried about you

Don't scare him like that again please he can't take it

Jade Leech

It was really just a normal day

going to classes, trying to stay awake during lessons, and getting pestered by at least one of the eel twins

While having a nice talk with jade, something started to feel off

your chest felt weird

It didn't hurt per say, but it felt like it was racing

Having heart issues, you immediately knew what was wrong

Jade watched with a curious look as you took your water bottle and took a drink

He questioned if you were alright, and you told him what was wrong

With a calm look on his face, he immediately takes action

Your brought back to the mostro lounge and told to wait patiently as Jade disappeared for a few minutes

He later came back with a small meal for you and more water

He assured you that it had plenty of salt in it to help your heart's hard work and told you to take it easy

Now that he's aware of your situation, he's extra attentive

He may know somethings wrong before you do at this rate

And don't worry, he never doubts you or thinks you're dramatic if you ever tell him somethin may be wrong

Also has liquid i.v ready if you ever need it

He's now the number one person to go to when you're having issues

Jamil Viper

Parties can be overstimulating

So it's unfortunate that Kalim throws one almost every day

After an hour or two, Jamil thankfully found a less crazy sport for the two of you to sit

The two of you talked for a bit, enjoying the upbeat atmosphere

Halfway through talking, your head started to feel fuzzy, but you decided to brush it off and that it would probably go away eventually

Then Kalim called the two of you over

You couldn't figure out what he wanted you for, but the two of you got up anyway

When you stood up, the fuzziness in your head hit ten times harder, and you went down

Thankfully Jamil, with his quick reflexes, was able to catch you just in time

after assuring you were okay, albeit a bit panicked, you admitted you knew something was wrong, but decided to not say anything

And that's the story of how you got scolded by Jamil about taking care of yourself and telling people when something was wrong

He's much more on edge when the two of you spend time together from now on

He's constantly pestering you about how you feel, while trying (failing) to hide his genuine concern

Don't tease him about it, please

Rook Hunt

Lets be honest now, did you really think you could hide something from Rook?

Getting it away from trey? believable. Rook? Absolutely not

He is vigilant, nothing gets past him

Nothing

Even when you think he's not around, he is watching and he will know something is wrong

And the second he realizes your head hurts, he is all over you

Like showering you in concern and affection 24/7

if you were planning on keeping it from him, too bad

He's not giving you the chance

Really, he's treating you like royalty

You're in bed all day, dim lights, water, and any snacks you want

And he's not taking no for an answer

he's an extravagant man, what else were you expecting?

And from now on, he'll constantly be checking up on you

In the most dramatic way possible

He'll gently grab your shoulders and ask if you're okay

And if you aren't he'll grab your hands and with the most dramatic display, be so distressed for you and also praise you for being "so brave"

Such a dramatic man, really, but a dramatic man who's worried for you

Ace Trappola

Joining basketball with the boys sounds like so much fun, right?

Right???

Not really

Especially not when you've got a whole lotta knee pain

But it's alright, just power through it, as most people say

However most people don't realize that that's a bad idea

And unfortunately, you are most people

Forgetting your knee braces sure is unfortunate, although you thought it would be fine

It was not

Especially not when Ace decided to pull an "ankle breaker" on you

And it did just that

But with your knee caps

Listen, Ace may be a total jerk, but hearing a loud pop and then seeing you collapse...

He couldn't help but feel at least a little bad

But limping over to the bench you assured him that you were okay

Once sitting down, you took a deep breath and

another pop

And right back into place

And now you terrify him

This is something you can hold over his head at the slightest moment he starts to be a brat

Him doing the regular teasing? "Remember when you popped my kneecap out of place?"

Don't ever let him live this down

Silver

Unlike other characters on this list, it is so easy to keep something from Silver

It's not that he doesn't care, he's just very tired

But once he fins out that you've had a massive migraine this whole time, he feels so bad

he offers to get you anything you need

And once you're all settled, he looks so guilty

He may start to wallow if you don't stop him

Please stop him

Please assure him that it's not his fault

He really feels bad for not noticing earlier

Afterwards, he makes it clear that you need to tell him when you don't feel good

He also tries to be a lot more attentive from now on

He just feels so bad

This is where you both decided to work on communication skills

From now on, please tell him when you feel bad

he's worried for you :(

I'm finally back yaaay, but I took forever on this. i procrastinate so bad I'm sorry. I threw in my own physical problems too, hope y'all don't mind. ty for reading and gave a nice day :)

[muffinrecord]

Current Plans + Musings

I don't plan on playing Exedra to the degree I did for Magia Record, or playing it at all. Because of that, I won't be taking an active role in the community and archiving anything for it. Of course, if Exedra has like amazing gameplay and stories then this is all subject to change, but for now I think I'm done with phone games.

The two youtube channels will stay up and I'll check em periodically to make sure there aren't copyright strikes against the content. I've saved all my raw files, especially for the battle animations, so I can remake them in the future if the music ever becomes a problem for some reason.

Google Drive will stay up until Google rots away. I haven't recorded footage in a long time (as in stories, I do for the character doppels and such), but I'll upload things if they're sent to me.

Magia Union Translations still plans on translating things and making videos, especially leading up to the end, but also for after the game is over for whatever wasn't made in time. I'm not sure what form this will take in the future-- if it'll be manual captions added to the videos or not, but I know it WILL happen.

As for this blog, I'm not going to delete it or anything. However I'm going to be taking a step back. I'd like to say that I'll do liveblogs but I mean... *gestures at blog* I've been saying that for years and the only one I really did successfully was the Oriko one lmao. Ahhh oh well.

I'll have more words later, but it was really fun to be part of a fandom experience like this. I'm excited to work on my own original story projects though and quiet down a bit.

...

When I started this blog, I never expected it to have people actually read it. Or look at it. I just wanted a place to gush about how much fun I was having. I didn't even want to tag the posts with "Magia Record" at first because I was terrified people would be mean at me, haha.

But I'm glad I did. I made so many good friends through this game. I'm glad it existed. And it made me happy to have a place where people cared about what I had to say. Some folks actually got their news from here, can you imagine that? They had notifications turned on for this blog. My god.

Anyways, I'm going to be here for the next two months, and tomorrow I'll start reblogging fan projects and initiatives, plus general news. Maybe this blog will turn into a dumping site for art and fanfic reblogs, who knows. I might watch the remaining stuff and add various thoughts here and there.

Otherwise, you can find me on my main blog @malignmuffin, which only reblogs stuff (I don't talk much if at all there). I have another tumblr blog for my comic, but I think I'll reshare the name once I actually have content you can look at on it. It's pretty bare bones for the moment.

Actually it'll be funny if the end of this game is what makes me finally work on it again. I was in the process of working on it when NA came out, and it totally derailed me. Stopped writing, drawing, just focused on this silly little phone game. Now it's like those five years have gone by and I'm going back to where I started, except I think my lil comic is going to be a bit better than it was before. If I actually make it, that is.

If I ever do actually make my comic and start posting it, I'll be sure to update y'all here. hah

Anyways, thanks for being on this wild ride with me. The memories have been great, and I'm glad I had this experience, even if it had to end.

[briar-ffxiv]

FFXIV Write #14 - Telling

FFXIV Write 2024 Master Post

Prompt #14 - Telling

Notes: Based on THIS STORY, which both @orime-stories and @calico-heart showed me and totally inspired me.

Briar hummed softly to himself as he pushed the broom, gathering dust and dirt to sweep out the open backdoor of the cottage. It was a habit instilled by his mother since he was a child. Saule had been a healer and very aware of the dangers of dirt and grime to both wounds and food. Even years after she was gone, Briar did it at the same time, in the same way she had. It was a way of keeping her memory close as much as his home clean.

The task had been done hundreds of times and thus Briar's mind was on other things. He was considering what to make for dinner when a loud, indignant 'baa' jerked his eyes toward the door. His first thought was something was the matter with his sheep, but he wasn't prepared to see a sheep trotting right into his kitchen! Followed by another and yet another and even more still. In less than a minute five sheep milled around the small cottage, bleating and snorting and looking rather puzzled.

Briar stood still in shock, mouth opened because he did not recognize any of these sheep. He knew every single one of his little herd of nine at a glance, most of them being pregnant ewes this late in the year. The five before him were yearling lambs and he had kept none from his herd this season. So the half-Elezen had no idea where these sheep were from or how they were suddenly in his very house!

At least until a delighted bark sounded from the backdoor. Briar stared yet again as Jack wiggled his backend happily, tongue lolling out in a doggy grin of delight. He woofed and pranced a bit, clearly very, very proud of himself for finding more sheep to bring to his master.

"Jack!" Briar said with exasperation and confusion. "What-- How-- Where did you…" He trailed off, wincing as dirty hooves tracked on his clean floor and things were bumped by the sheep as they nosed around. "Oh no. Jack! Jack, come by!"

Still well-pleased with himself, Jack loped forward, following Briar's direction to circle and drive the sheep back out. Not wanting them to run into the Black Shroud and find themselves eaten, Briar called his little sheepdog to round them up and finally settled for putting them in the corner pasture. He didn't have a lot of room in the little meadow he lived in, but he had divided it into three pastures so he could rotate the herd and keep them from overgrazing. A little whisper of Earth-based magicks also helped the soil to heal and the grass to grow with Briar's help.

He didn't want to put the strange sheep in with his pregnant herd since he had no way of knowing yet which was rams, nor if any were sick. So to the far corner, they went to keep a safe distance. He wasn't going to risk his beloved herd for the strangers.

"There's no telling where they might have come from," Briar muttered to himself, making sure the trough was clean and full. The five yearlings were quick to drink and happy to graze. To make sure they had plenty, he tossed some hay out with them as well. It was growing cooler as autumn turned to winter, but still warm enough that with their woolly coats they would be fine.

"Now what?" Briar groaned, leaning on the fence and frowning at the young sheep that Jack had somehow brought home. He looked down at the dog, frowning a little but he couldn't truly be upset. No doubt to Jack, these sheep were strays and his instincts were to bring them somewhere safe. "Silly boy," he whispered, patting Jack's head. "I just hope some angry owner does not track them down and think I've stolen them."

Shaking his head, Briar turned away, whistling for Jack to follow. "I'll worry about what to do with them in the morning. For now…I have to clean my floor. Again."

[xxunknowncutiexx]

Ray from BSH fic <3. This is meant to take place after the Ray ending but before the after-story. There will be two parts to this fic just purely because I made it too long and couldn't post it all together. Ray is probably also OOC, sorry!! Warning: While my fic isn't sexual, BSH is an 18+ game so, minors please stay away from this fic. If I find out you're a minor and interacting with my work I will block you.

You stared at Ray, watching as he cooked pancakes. It felt domesticated, watching your... boyfriend? You weren't too sure what you and Ray were, in all honestly. Anyway, you watched as Ray made the two of you pancakes for breakfast. Ray always insisted on making you food, it became part of your routine at this point. Ray seemed to like cooking, maybe it was relaxing to him? You weren't sure, you hated cooking, it wasn't your thing, and you were more of a baker, in all honesty. "Good morning, Star. Are you just going to stare at me all morning?" Ray's voice snapped you out of your thoughts. You blinked, looking up at the 6'2 man in front of you. You felt blood rush to your cheeks, you were sure you were blushing. "Oh... sorry." It felt awkward, despite this being normal at this point and you were sure he was just teasing, you still felt embarrassed you had gotten caught staring. "There's nothing to apologize for, Star." Ray had an uncharacteristically soft smile on his lips, a smile that was reserved for only you, it always made your heart flutter. You didn't respond and instead, made your way closer to him, shuffling closer. You wrapped your arms around Ray's waist from behind, letting out a quiet yawn as you closed your eyes, resting your head against his back. "Still tired?" He asked in a murmur as he reached behind to ruffle your hair before flipping a pancake. "Yeah, I didn't sleep too well, and don't do that, I've told you not to ruffle my hair like that." You huffed out at the action, acting more annoyed than you felt. You had grown used to Ray,  you had grown to love his small quirks, how he fell asleep halfway through watching a show, how he hated action movies, how he always called you a brat, or how he would call you Star. You adored the nickname, you adored him- no, you loved him. "....You love me?" Ray's voice broke you out of your thoughts yet again. "Wait, shit, I'm sorry- I didn't mean to read your mind." You opened your eyes, looking up at Ray who was staring down at you, eyes wide and a small blush across his cheek. Shit. "...it's okay, It was an accident." You looked away, your mind swirling with thoughts. You had been so careful to try not to think such thoughts around Ray, especially after he had confessed his love for you before you two had moved in but it seemed you had slipped up. It was bound to happen, though. The more important thought though, was did you really love Ray? You had felt love before, you had been in love with Double, which had been the biggest mistake of your life. However, things were different Ray though, they were more... comfortable. Double had been exciting, a rush of adrenaline until... Well, you didn't want to think of that. With Ray, things were more... comfortable. Maybe things had gone a bit too fast, sure, but given the circumstances it made sense, it made sense for you two to move in and Ray didn't seem to push you into anything like Double did. You didn't have to walk on eggshells around Ray like you had to with Double.  "...I think so, I think I love you." You admitted in a murmur. Ray stared at you for a moment before letting out an exhale you didn't realize he was holding in. Ray seemed relieved, you couldn't blame him, though. "I love you too., Star. I love you so much." Ray leaned down, kissing your forehead before turning his attention back towards the pancakes. "Sorry, they might be a bit burnt." He sighed, quickly grabbing a plate and scraping the pancakes out of the pan. "It's fine, I don't mind. A little bit of burnt pancakes never killed me before."

[thotsforvillainrights]

Hii having a weird time mentally rn. May I request Tomura, Spinner, and Setsuno's reaction to reader suddenly tearing up while cuddling just because they feel so loved? That's all they've ever wanted and they're just so happy to be with their partner

(Hey Anon, although I don't know what you're personally going through, I sincerely hope it gets better for you. I'm also going through a little mentally as well. Hope this post helps to at least take your mind off things for a bit. Much love)

~Tomura/Spinner/Setsuno SO tearing up during cuddles~

headcanon|scenario|imagine|match-up|drabble

-If you're quiet about it then he likely doesn't notice you're tearing up at first. If you're VERY quiet about it then you can go a very long time until he at least begins to notice the moisture from your tears seeping through the fabric of his old grey sleeping shirt. He probably jolts out of his stupor and looks down to see the wet spot on the fabric. He squints and then turns his attention on you. The jig is up when he asks "why the hell you crying" in a fully concerned, raspy voice. You admit to him it's because you feel so loved when he's with you. Also that you feel warm and safe in his arms and you love him so dearly. He rolls his eyes at the sentiment and water works but his heart denies him as it's beating out of his chest at the idea of being so loved by one person. "Shut up and go to bed" sounds gruff but you understand exactly what he feels about you when he kisses your forehead so gently and begins stroking your upper back until you drift off to sleep in his arms. Had you been more tired then you might not have caught his quiet whispering back: "I love you too."

-Spinner is probably holding you while playing on his phone and hoping you get some rest. You're a night owl lately so he's been worried about you not getting enough sleep and not feeling fully like yourself. His heart drops when he feels your grip tighten on his chest and he looks down to see teary e/c eyes looking back up at him. "Y/N what's up with you???" His panic will only intensify by the second if you don't speak up here soon. "Nothing Shuichi, it's just...well I'm thankful for you and the love you give me is all I've ever wanted." Great, now he has no idea what to say that could live up to that! Finally after taking some time to think about it, he's come up with a response to your words. He smiles softly and pulls you closer into the warmth of his clothed chest. You inhale the faint scent of the new soap he'd been fond of, and you listen carefully at his quiet voice. "Y/N, I love you so much more than you can ever imagine you know. It's a little crazy for me to even think someone accepts me the way that you do...that someone loves me the way you do. If I started to express now just how much you mean to me then I wouldn't be done until many years from now. More directly to say, I'd be dead before I could touch the tip of the iceberg about how much you mean to me. Y/N, you're my everything."

-As soon as he hears the slightest sniffle, he jolts up and turns on the bedside lamp to get a good look at you. "Oh, oh no. Y/N are you okay?" You smile sheepishly and sniffle once more, reaching up to run your watery eyes. He beats you to it and gently swipes away the tears that ran down your cheeks. "Don't do that, you're starting to make me cry too." He says softly and you laugh. "Sorry Toya. It's just that I was thinking real hard about how I'm just so happy to be with you. I mean, you make me beyond happy and I love you so much." You're words weigh heavy on him and before he knows it, his eyes are now teary too. "Awww shit, now you've gone and done it." He sniffles and pulls you into a tight hug. "I love you so much Y/N. It drives me crazy sometimes haha!" You return the hug and smile widely into his chest while he begins to rock the two of you. After a while of rocking, you both slowly find yourselves settling once more into the plush comfort of your bedding. Drifting off and dreaming of each other as lovers often do.

[longeyelashedtragedy]

Frank James Lampard OBE 👀

ougughgh, you whipped out the order of the british empire? 🫡 😳 maybe i was wrong to judge them teaboos back in the superwholock days (that's a JOKE)

@protect-daniel-james i'll respond here but i might use your ask to post some more Photos cause i'm not sure how to pick just one photo of the Long Eyelashed Tragedy

favorite thing about them: uhhh...so much? he gets me right in the FEELS, man. he tells on himself constantly and seems to be completely unaware. sadboi footballer with pretty dead eyes who loves to Read and took a little notebook with him on the team bus. the intersection of having it easy/privileged childhood & traumatic things that shouldn't have happened--i relate. exhilarating to watch his old performances and he seems like he'd be fun to have a conversation with. fascinating to analyze, this all feels sort of reductive...i'm very Fond of him and some of it is hard to put into words, but i feel very "what's not to love?" about him lol. and he has such a Narrative. he's very easy to write about though it probably doesn't turn out well at all (sounds great and deep in my head though)

also i find a lot of footballers hot but don't really experience significant attraction to them but he is an exception you know what i'm just going to end this here

least favorite thing about them: he lost weight after everton BOO HISS

favorite line: omg, frank james lampard OBE is funny because he's often so intelligent and articulate and then just whips out the WEIRDEST/most cringe thing out of nowhere. some examples:

-his "fight" with klopp on the touchline

THIS wtfery:

these BANGERS:

this classic example of childhood trauma "too old when you're young and too young when you're old" (what some ppl would call "entitled male athlete" but like..i know better than that lol). it's also just patently RIDICULOUS he was like 36...bolding is mine for the classic lines

But it was while on a night out in Manchester during pre-season that the ex-West Hamer star showed his new American team-mates exactly how ex-Premier League stars like to party.

Columbus Crew centre-back Josh Williams was with NYCFC at the time and he told the story to the Athletic.

...“This place is packed, multiple levels. And as soon as we walk in, you could see everybody recognise Frank. And it’s just me, my teammate and Frank and all the energy is just on him.

"He picks up a bottle, this huge bottle of Grey Goose, picks it up, opens it, just starts downing it. Passes it to me and goes, ‘Boys, we’re not putting this down until it’s fucking gone.’”

The trio passed the bottle around three times when the rest of NYCFC showed up.

After about an hour in the club, Lampard approached Williams and asked him about 'that game you Americans play where you throw the little balls — he’s talking about beer pong.'

ok let's see...

brotp: random one but i recently learned that he and ian wright are friends? and i just love that so much both as a gooner and a person. wrighty complements him well and is very...respectful lol. if we consider lamperry to be only one-sided romantic, then definitely lamperry

notp: franko x steven gerrard...there's only One situation in which i've enjoyed that ship (and it was an au). it does nothing for me normally, and i personally don't find stevie g attractive, so! again, it's like an "ew get it away from me" notp, it's just not my vibe.

otp: i mean...lamperry requited. franko x cousin jamie jamie jamie ....maybe someday they can give romeo and juliet their happy ending. and of course, frank and mason...i just really like this ship so much and it keeps my brain so entertained...even though it's not "healthy" and doesn't end well. these ships are all SO good!!!

random headcanon: oh gosh idk...i don't think i have any "headcanons" because everything he says and does in public just kind of tracks. bet he's done coke lol. idk

unpopular opinion: HOO BOY!!! here we go!!! i am aware that i have a wooby nature, but i actually like that about myself. i'd rather approach someone--anyone with softness and then tone it down when i decide they're a dick, than be uncharitable for no reason. that's my way and that's how it's gonna be! so that said...franko gets accusations of "arrogance" and i...i don't see it at all. it might come from his disingenous press conferences at chelsea and everton, but i see that as a man who has horrid self-esteem, was used to being treated by media and fans like a Starboy, and once he started doing badly, had no idea how to handle professional failure--not one single idea. remember on "diary of a ceo" over the summer when he said his first chelsea sacking was the first time he's ever failed professionally? that's insane. Like, imagine making it to age FORTY-TWO and not having a legitimate school or career disaster. that's insane to me. so he just put up a front and got cranky and defensive and funky about where he placed the blame (and to be honest--he has not done a good job as a manager, but he also wound up in some pretty dismal positions. taking chelsea caretaker manager was really shooting himself in the foot because that season just needed to be put out of its misery lol). i'm not saying he's a bastion of humility, or some misunderstood coaching genius, but i don't see him as any more or less arrogant than someone else. idk--i see a weird level of contempt for him that doesn't really feel deserved? he's just a sad sack. sort of a hubris tale in a sense, but also a tale of a man who is still stuck as a kid in some ways...i need to stop before i write a really bad dissertation lol

uh that said...

song i associate with them:

finally a footballer i can give a good answer to this for!!!

name me a better combination than me x lamps x pink floyd x this summer! comfortably numb, shine on you crazy diamond (all of it, but particularly sections vi-ix), wish you were here...

(i know this sounds basic...i know there are more i'm not remembering)

"money" in some ways because i listened to it while writing "visited upon the sons" (it hit me afterward that the fic and the song are structured in the same way...the chicken or the egg?)

from the oooold first days of the lampardverse:

behind blue eyes/a well respected man

also! wouldn't it be nice kind of reminds me of him and cousin jamie loool

favorite picture of them:

dude idk! i really love looking at photos of him! this is granit levels of difficulty...i Cannot choose so let's go with this sad sack from the blessed everton days:

[alieinthemorning]

A Day of Valberries [Diluc Ragnivindr]

Content: Fluff, Kissing, Spoilers for Diluc's Birthday Letter (2022), Suggestive

Pronouns: None

Reblog: Let me know that you enjoy my work and want to see more, so don’t forget to like and reblog (and comment in the tags. I love seeing people’s rambles in the tags)!

Original Work: Valberry Kisses | Diluc Ragivindr

Spring was one of your favorite seasons for two reasons.

First, Valberries, your absolute favorite fruit, were finally in season

And two, it was your beloved’s season of birth. 

So, being the ever so wonderful partner that you were, you decided to bake him a cake (with the help of Adelinde to avoid similar mishaps from prior special events).

Surprisingly enough, you hadn’t seen the birthday at all today, but he wouldn’t be the ever elusive wine tycoon if you had. 

Oh well. 

There was a cooled cake that needed to be frosted before you. 

Nothing too exciting, a simple white frosting with a simple scallop border. 

Just as you placed the cake in the fridge, the kitchen door opened. 

As you turned kiss was pressed to your temple and a murmur of:

“I’m home.” 

You guided his lips toward your own, a more loving greeting.

He pulled away, he turned quickly, but you still caught a glimpse of his flushed cheeks. 

You followed him to your bedroom, helping him remove the worries of today for the calm of tonight. 

After a long bath and a bit of cuddles, dinner was read and served by Adelinde. 

Perfection as always,

And then came the dessert. 

Your valberry cake was sliced and served alongside

sparkling valberry juice. 

“It looks like we both had the same idea.” You said after a moment. 

He chuckled. “Valeberries are your favorite after all.”

You huffed with a pout, “But today is your special day.”

“A day in which I can choose how to spend it.” 

“And you chose to gather valberries for me.”

“I chose to prepare something special for my beloved.” He clarified. “The cake is delicious by the way.” 

You sighed dramatically as you stood from your seat. “Well now I have to give you something extra special.” 

You slipped into Diluc’s lap, hands finding purchase in his crimson locks. 

His hands found themselves on your hips, already rubbing small circles with his thumbs. “And what might that be?”

“Mayhaps a kiss or two?” 

You leaned down, lips connecting in a soft yet passionate kiss. 

He tasted heavily of the valberries but still had the familiar hint of small lamp grass. 

He pulled back just enough to ask, “How about four and more?”

Who were you to deny your significant other on their special day? 

You would give him everything he asked for

and more. 

Initial Note: Happy birthday to the man who took a whole ass year to come home! I literally just got Diluc on March 8th, 2022. tbh I kinda forgot about his birthday until I seen it trending on Twitter so-. Here ya go lmao!

....

I'm cheating and posting this on his birthday in 2023 lol

Also I got Wolf's Gravestone, so i guess I gotta build him, huh?

By the way, I've gone through and edited a lot of my works on AO3, so go give those a look.

Ko-Fi | Commission | Masterlist

[nyx22-blogs]

A Broken Kind Of Love

Warnings: Abuse, therapy, swearing

Masterlist

A/N: sorry I haven't posted in a while, been working on a new fic and I've just been busy in general. Here's lots of angst with a nice Bucky to make it better. ❤️

Lifeless, depressed, numb and broken. Those were normal feelings for you now. What once used to be happy, energetic, funny and full of love was now empty.

All because of him

Everyone thought that after he left, after he broke you, you'd bounce back eventually. But you didn't. The things that happened..the things he said- the things he did. You'd never recover from the hell you'd gone through.

Abuse, whether it be physically or verbally always ends in the same way. A broken heart and a darkness slowly seeping through you. Salt on the wound, as they would say.

You were an idiot, you'd been so naive..so happy. You thought he'd love you so we'll. And he did. He listened to every word, he held every part of you, he loved every part of you-

Lies

They were all lies, he started to get angrier every day. Colder every night. The man that you thought loved you never truly did. Then he started with the words...the cold, ugly, hurtful words.

And then came the physical fights. He'd start grabbing you firmly in the middle of an argument, leaving bruises all over you. Then the times when he'd lay his hands on you.

Oh but he was so sweet afterwards

He'd cuddle you in your bed, tell you he was so sorry. He'd kiss every little bruise and mark caused by him and massage them until they went away.

Then he'd make new ones

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

Then he'd forbid you from meeting up with friends or family. Everyone noticed, but they didn't dare say a word. The only person who truly tried to save you was your little sister Kate. She'd come back from London to your hometown to visit. She was the one who barged into your house one day and witnessed that monster of a man slam your head against the wall.

She was the one who threatened to kill him herself if she ever found him near you again. She was the one who held you close at night while you sobbed into the sleeves of her dresses. She was the one who saw what you became, a shell of yourself, someone who was no longer capable of feeling anything but hurt. She was the one who decided to take you to therapy, much to your dismay.

"Kate I don't want to go.."

"Oh, y/n sweetheart please? For me? It'll help you I swear! And well- if not then I promise I'll watch those godforsaken die hard movies with you." She said, her British accent rolling of the tongue as she walked you into the room.

You sighed and walked in the waiting room, as Kate spoke to the receptionist. Their conversation ended quickly and she came back to you.

"Right then uhm- I'll come pick you up after your session! Apparently missus grump over there has an issue with family accompanying newcomers. Something about adjusting on your own. But if anything happens I'll come right away! Ok? So don't hesitate if you need anything or if your hungry or if-"

"Kate. It's fine you can go. Thanks." You said, trying to put on your best I'm not a depressed bitch smile. You loved your sister, she was the only one who tried to help you after everything. She was a treasure, but she was also someone who never stopped worrying. You hated always being worried about. Always being helpless.

"Well then uhm, I- I love you. You'll do great!" She said as she kissed you on your forehead and walked out of the building.

"Love you too.." you mumbled.

You waited for the receptionist to call your name, wondering how the hell everything got like this. You heard the hell at the door ring and you turned to see who came through the door.

Oh, some guy. He looked kinda... familiar

He was tall, brunette and looked hella mad. Like, really really mad. Maybe he didn't want to be here either. He was talking to the receptionist and you couldn't help but overhear what they were saying. If you had to be hear might as well know who the hell you're with.

"James Buchanan Barnes, I'm here for Dr. Raynor."

"Oh yes, well she's not here today."

"But I had a-"

"Yes sir I know that you had a session Dr. Raynor but she isn't here today.

"I know that but I have to be here and I need a session with-"

"Sir I know but-"

"No you don't know it's court ordered and I need to get the session!"

You heard the lady sigh as she answered him again.

"Alright..I can see if we can do a double booking."

"What's that?"

"You'll do a double therapy, with another person."

"I-"

"No no, you wanted a therapy session so I'm giving a therapy session. Now please sit down sir, thank you."

He ran his hand through his hair and walked over to where you were. He was going to sit down in a chair one place down from you but some ass took it before he could. He sorta just stood there awkwardly for a few seconds and looked nervous to sit down.

Shit did you really look that angry?

"You can sit." You said

"I- thanks.." he said quietly and sat down

~~~~~~

This continued on for a few days..him waiting for an invitation to sit down and he'd occasionally look at you..as of wanting to say something. But of course he'd close his mouth and look away.

As for the therapy, it was good. It helped a lot more than you'd admit.

As you walked out of the building, purse in hand, you felt a hand on your shoulder. You turned around quickly and was greeted with bright blue eyes staring back at you.

"Oh- Bucky. Hey..you scared me."

"Sorry..uhm I- you know what I'm just gonna say it. I don't know what your situation is, what the hell happened to you or why you're here. But uhm- I'd like to.. I'd like to take you out sometime if that'd be ok." He said, a light pink dusting his cheeks.

Whoa

"I'd love that..."

You smiled to yourself..how ironic the situation was. Two somewhat messed up people liking each other. A broken kind of love..

[acaplaya-musings]

VoicePlay Visuals - Classical Chaos (part 2/2)

(The video itself obviously isn't a two-parter, but this post is! You can go to part 1 here!)

Fun fact: I'm actually typing both parts of this post less than 24 hours after the video's public release! Getting early access on Patreon means I've had ample time to process the video, and by the time it released on YouTube I simply could not wait to begin analysing it!

Okay so I ended part 1 at about 2 minutes and 17 seconds into the video (not quite halfway but close enough), and that is where we shall continue from!

Rachel has just pulled the spellbook back from Layne, and things are getting just a little bit more chaotic now!

Lol rip @ Eli trying to intercept the book-grab but stumbling/toppling forwards instead 😂

"Can I-" "Nope"

"Can I-" "NOPE"

LOL RIP ELI

(Also not a visual thing but I really must give credit and kudos for the inclusion of the Wilhelm Scream here - classic, iconic, we stan 👌)

Uh, Rachel, Ms White Witch...

(Also highlight and contour ON POINT btw)

*YOINK*

Geoff is just Vibing, we love to see it

(Okay but seriously this version of Fur Elise kinda slaps ngl)

Geoff: "Wait what are you doing?"

Pfft, remember how I mentioned the connections to the Little Mermaid Medley video in my first part? Now Geoff is the one having his voice stolen instead of the one doing the voice-stealing! 😆

Cesar @ Rachel: "Actually I'll take your voice too now!"

Pfft, Cesar really said "I might not have a huge role in this, but I'm still gonna do the absolute MOST" (seriously he's so hilarious in this video and I love him 😂)

Oh boy the book is gone again!

In most cases I'd say that the use of a horn is "pushing it" when it comes to acapella, but this is VoicePlay, and Violayne is a thing, so yeah this is mild in comparison 😝😁

Cesar is like "OMG HOW COULD YOU? HOW DARE YOU??" while Geoff is just like "dude, really?"

The whole Can-Can bit is utterly hysterical and I love it so much every time I watch this video - Layne bouncing and clapping along, fireworks suddenly appearing, Cesar actually doing the can-can, it's just absolutely VoicePlay Brand Of Dumb and I'm so here for it 😄

Eli's cast a love spell between Layne and Rachel!

Geoff's reaction is 10/10, I love it 😂

Uh oh, the spell broke!

And oh she is MAD

(Also love how Geoff appears to be the least scared of The White Witch)

Seriously the special effects/post-production stuff/CGI was freaking insane in this video! So good! That was all Layne too I guess?

Too hard to get a good picture of it (and I'm nearing the screenshot limit once again anyway) but I love how the fire starts shifting through the whole spectrum of colours during the In The Hall Of The Mountain King bit!

"The LAST PAGE. Very Important! DO NOT LOOSE!! Bad Things Will Happen!!!"

(It's meant to say "do not lose" but it still kinda works, as it can also meant "do not set loose"/"do not make loose"!)

Also the other page appears to be from an old dictionary (what the spellbook was actually made from I guess?), specifically a page of words starting with O!

Surprise! Rachel/the White Witch had the last page tucked away the whole time!

Cesar, Eli, and Layne: *Panik* Geoff: "*sigh* Yep here we go again..."

(My god everyone was killing it with the facial expressions in this video! So many good ones!)

And it's bye bye Grundels once again!

What a queen, iconic, love her, we stan👑💜

(And make sure to stick around for the credits!)

Yeah, this video DEFINITELY needed/deserved to be split into two Tumblr posts, and honestly I wasn't sure if I was gonna hit image limit too soon and have to start cutting images from one or both parts, but thankfully I managed to cover just about everything I wanted to.

Hope you enjoyed these posts as well, and if you wanna know what posts I'll be doing next, click the link here if you haven't seen the post already! (I'm currently open to suggestions for "bonus" VoicePlay Visuals posts!) But until next time!

[frutavel]

i saw you tagged an oc named samaela on my post. who are they im curious. please share with the class 👀

(aka “i made that post about a character archetype i love and getting to hear about new characters that fit that archetype is literally the best case scenario for me”)

Oh hi for the love of god hello!!!

This is Samaela. My babygirl. I desperately wish I had more recent art of her to share, but alas I don't. A quick scroll through my blog also shows that Most of the posts I've made talking about her are also a few years old and outdated at this point but rest assured I think about her Constantly.

Samaela is a World of Warcraft OC, and also one of my oldest OCs in general regardless of fandom/universe. Long story short, she's a Forsaken hunter with little to no memory of her past life but Vivid memory of her death (by werewolf) and a history of making bad decisions in the name of Living Deliciously.

She was resurrected post Death By Werewolf, and the process caused her to Become Werewolf. Sorta. She's a weird little fiend and an abomination even by undead standards, which leads to her necromancer running All Sorts of Tests and Experiements. Now those aren't as bad or nefarious as they sound, really, but Samaela gets tired of being a science project pretty quick, so she moves as far away from her necromancer as she can, makes a few friends and enters a 2-ish year long situationship with her Boybestfriend, during which she indulges in many bad habits such as hunting living humans for sport and eating them, which garners her a reputation for being vicious and needlessly cruel. She regrets some of it sometimes, mostly she doesn't care, and gets off mostly scotch free because she's very good at weaving stories that paint her in a good light, and her folks don't like humans anyway. Which just emboldens her.

(Here seen with her Boybestfriend, Tari, my other babygirl, after a bad hunt)

Eventually her Boybestfriend has to leave, and she is Very Sad about it but they part amicably. Unfortunately having her voice of reason and only person whom she trusted in this whole wide world move away makes her Worse. She continues to be Very Good At Lying, but still ends up in trouble with the authorities a handful of times, some friends turn their back on her as a result and she makes self preservation her number one priority. This leads to a sleuth of Decisions which eventually end up putting the life of someone at risk, someone Very Important to her Boybestfriend, and once he finds out their relationship cracks even more. She jumps to anger and resentment straight on and continues to push people away and make more Choices, until her own life is put at risk and she's forced to rethink.

Currently she's at this rethinking stage. She doesn't regret most of the things she did, but she regrets the things that affected her personally. Empathy is a hard concept for her to grasp, but she's willing to make an effort for her own sake. At her core she still wants to survive above all else, and if that means letting people help her..... well, she doesn't like it but she'll think about it.

Samaela is Difficult, and she will never not be. She needs a strong support system to help her, but unfortunately the mere thought of letting her walls down and being vulnerable makes her sick. She is hard to get along with and harder to like.... but a handful of people have gone through the effort it takes to love her all the same. That's enough for now to keep her from spiraling more, but her fate is very uncertain. She has many amends to make and she's not exactly willing to make all of them, but her self preservation instinct is so strong it might as well push her in that direction even if just to keep herself alive.

Despite her many Ls she has many Ws. Women want her. Men fear her. She fucks hard and nasty. She makes dioramas in her spare time. She is surprisingly good at keeping people safe. She likes the color green so much she always has at least One green acessory on her at all times. She's not very good at swimming but still loves the beach. She has a gender that can be best described as Indescribable. Woman, but watch out. She can also pretty effectively communicate with her hunting dogs due to her mutations, and her insides are so rancid due to the Experiments that getting bitten by her in an immediate death sentence, and she is quite fond of biting. Because of this some have taken to calling her Plaguehound <3

As for her previous life.... well that's a whole other mess. All I'll say is that she has two living siblings, one who hasn't given up looking for her, but neither one would recognize her now, and it's unlikely she'd recognize them either. She barely remembers enough about her human life to know her name, much less about her family.

In fact, she has met her older sister in the past. It didn't end well for the sister in question. Dog fights are gnarly 💖

[howyouloveyourdragon]

if you don't feel comfortable reading, this is basically a notice saying that for now i am still on a break from posting but when i return, i think that my posting schedule will be changing from 3-4 to 1-2 fics/requests a week or random until further notice

i do not expect to be gone too long because im too feral for that but this is a general explanation i guess :)

!!TW!! E.D!! (eating disorder)

hi my lovies ♡ so you've probably already noticed by now if you have been following me for awhile that my posting schedule has shifted sporadically over the past few months and i post fics much less regularly than i did when i started out

if you have followed me recently then this will probably not affect the speed you see my fics in, this post is primarily so that my older followers know why i have been slower in releasing my series', wips, requests etc

i love posting for all of you and hearing all your positive feedback and comments but unfortunately my eating disorder has resurged and it's just not possible for me to prioritise posting over fixing this and my wellbeing as i've had a lot of not nice thoughts biting their way in again. i also don't think anyone will be surprised when i say that this fandom has also driven in some stress and discomfort recently so i need a break away from that as well even though so many people have been so nice to me on here

!! HOWEVER !!

i will still be posting as often as i feel comfortable with so this is not a goodbye and the longest i think i will be gone might be two weeks at longest (i'll put up another statement if it does end up being longer than that)

for now fic recs have been on hiatus because i plainly haven't had the time to read them but when i get back oh ho ho i have a big ole spam list for you

it means so much to me that so many of you have followed, interacted and supported me since i made this account in november, i never expected this to be more than just an outlet for my writing, i am so grateful to you all and for all of my beloved moots that i met here who are all the loveliest people ever i love you all very much and can't wait to binge your works when i return, enjoy the thea spam ♡♡♡

and to everyone who has gotten to the bottom of this page, it matters so much to me that people genuinely care about what i put out so thank you for listening and as far as interactions go, don't be afraid if you get a message or reply from @simp-aholic after interacting (which is still very welcome), that's my other account, i won't be checking this account too often during my break but im still fairly active over there ♡♡♡ i am aware that i do not need to explain myself but i did want to help anyone who might be confused, or not have got the memo that im on a break, understand where i've been and what to expect until i come back

you have all been so lovely to me,

mwah buh bye ♡

(also to all my moots tagging me i swear i'll get to it when i come back! i am very much looking forward to it!)

[milf-harrington]

Wanna rant about whatever tf is going on in steddie land? I'm a layman but if you want to go off I'll happily be thirsty for the goss

oh it's not really anything that dramatic, there's a book about eddie coming out and a good handful of steddie shippers are wary of it and, like me, have just decided not to read it

i think everyone's got their own reasons but, my friend rori was getting people in her inbox justifying why they weren't looking forward to it and considering she's not a steddie shipper she couldn't care less which is why she was in my inbox saying she was glad im her only steddie mutual because she doesn't care about any drama to do with eddie munson

my reasons for not wanting to read the book include similar views as my friend (i think there are other, longer standing characters that deserve to have a book); i don't like sudden changes to things im familiar and comfortable with; and it kind of just feels like the writers are trying to pander to the audience?? like. if they honesty cared about eddie as a character i think they wouldn't have killed him off the way they did, but they didn't care and it feels like it wasn't until they saw the way the audience reacted to them that they've gone "oh wait hold on" and now suddenly they're writing a book about him??

like i love eddie, but he's the newest character in the story and he was season 4's canon fodder - i don't understand the need for there to be a canonical story about him? especially when he felt like a one-and-done character with the way the duffers killed him so...uncaringly

i've mentioned before as well that eddie feels like ours as opposed to the writers', which probably sounds immature but i've ranted enough in the past about how much it sucked for a character like his to be thrown away like that

other mutuals have also made the valid point that, depending on the content of the book, it might give non-steddie shippers a more solid ground to harrass steddie shippers from?? like,, if eddie winds up being canonically straight then all of the hellcheer shippers and shit will be all over steddie shippers about "pushing" queerness onto him or some shit yknow??

it's not that dramatic, i just have a very low tolerance for negativity in spaces that are just supposed to be fun for me so after the first few hours it just got stressfull seeing so many posts arguing about whether or not the book was going to be worth it and if people should/shouldn't read it and why people are being dramatic for not wanting to read it and blah blah blah

[faelune-home]

FFXIVWrite 2023 #8: Shed

(A/n: If its been perpetual Light without any other weather for 100 years, surely that means no seasons too? So I have to wonder how the First would feel about the world settling back into its old rhythm and the old seasons once they finally return. It must be so strange if they haven't seen snow or rain or ice in so long, or the changing leaves. So I really wanted to catch this sense of uncertainty, if most won't remember or even know about the concept.

Tho in this case, Almet might know, or she might not, depending on how old she is, but I've erred on the side of caution and assumed she's post-Flood birth.

Part of me just also feels like I miss the First and Ryne, even tho I know the very next patch is gonna have her feature in a way (small or otherwise, we don't know yet). I hope she's doing well, especially if she's still working hard for everyone. ;3;

Word count: 1385)

“Which way was it again?”

The blue flower path was certainly pretty, but it made for difficult travel when one forgot which fork in the road to follow to Fanow. Ryne unfortunately had forgotten, given the long while it’d been since she had visited the Viis town. The dense trees and the darkened shadows from the enveloping canopy didn’t help her bearings, unable to even see into the distance for a hint of life at the forest’s edge. She was travelling with a small guard, though unfortunately none had any experience with the forest as she had. Leaving her alone to shoulder the burden of navigation.

Her role as Oracle of Light had been changed somewhat, in light of the First’s new lease of life - she was something of an Emissary now for the Crystarium, often ensuring good relations between the various surviving settlements across Nordvrandt, both within each region and with the main city as a hub. Slitherbough didn’t have any issues with their neighbours, but she still wanted to check in with Fanow herself as well. If she could find it…

Fortunately for her, she wasn’t left stumbling around for much longer, as a voice broke through the leaf rustling ambiance.

“Hail, Oracle! It has been some time!” Looking up, and hearing the surprised chattering from her caravan behind her, Ryne smiled to see the familiar face of Almet standing upon a thick branch in the canopy. The woman leapt, traversing down the trunk with graceful bounds until she landed upon the petal strewn floor.

“Almet! It is good to see you,” Ryne greeted her, “I hope all has been well.”

“Of course. The forest has never been more peaceful since the night finally returned and the Sin Eaters numbered finally dwindled to nothing. I’m sure you could tell as much during your travels.” Ryne nodded, already breaking into chatter about their journey there and their reason for visiting, and idle introductions to the rest of her entourage.

“An Emissary is it? From one important duty to another, surely you of all of us have more than earned the rest after your deeds?” Almet said, shaking her head in awe.

“Many have told me, but I wouldn’t feel right just sitting doing nothing while everyone else did all the work,” Ryne replied.

“Well, that is your burden to bear, but I am pleased to see you continuing to look after the wellbeing of all on our star. Even coming all this way to check on Fanow, as cloistered away as we are here,” Almet nodded, coming to a stop by a wooden gateway arch. To Ryne’s surprise, they’d already reached the town’s entrance, unaware that Almet had led them along the way as they’d talked.

“Oh! I…Thank you. I’m sorry to say I seem to have forgotten the way,” Ryne said, flushing at her confession. Almet at least worse an understanding smile.

“Tis no worry. With how far you have travelled and how the forest has changed with the Light gone, I would be more surprised had you remembered. Feel free to come in and settle yourselves, someone will come and see you to a hut to rest yourselves so long as you are staying here,” Almet announced to the rest of the group. Ryne’s own nod to encourage them had them wasting no time entering the village, leaving the two alone.

“As much as I appreciate your hospitality, we hopefully shouldn’t stay too long. We wouldn’t want to impose, but we do have other places to visit as well.”

“You are certainly not imposing. We would always welcome you, as the allies of Ronka and the saviour of the star. But you of course have your duty as well. Allow us to at least see you well prepared for your journey,” Almet offered. Slitherbough had already offered to refill their supplies for the next leg of their journey after visiting Fanow, but more would always be nice. Sometimes to pass onto the next village they visited or even to the Crystarium’s supplies and stores when they returned.

They started up into canopy bound platforms, unperturbed at first of the wind that began to pick up – though Ryne did feel her stomach lurch as the boughs around her creaked and groaned from the strain. However they both came to a pause at a mumbling from a pair of nearby guard Viis leaning against the railing.

“It’s so different, how did it change so?”

“I don’t know, but it looks rather beautiful.”

“Ladies, is something amiss? Did something happen on your patrol?” Almet asked, making them both jump. As one of them frowned to see her surprise had crushed something in her grasp, the other held out a pristine leaf to show.

“Almet, it's so strange! The leaves are changing!” the guard stated. Almet took it in hand, brow furrowing at the discovery. Ryne peaked over, confused. The leaf was a bright vibrant orange, with dappled yellows along its lower half. A fan of leaves were thrust into her view, and she gaped at the sight; bright reds and yellows, more orange and faded gradients, and the normal greens were tinged brown along their edges.

“Is it not just from a peculiar tree?” she asked, trying to rationalise the strange appearance.

“Absolutely not, I’ve patrolled these same forests for 75 years, I know every tree in every corner,” the guard insisted, “This is new!”

“Almet, do you think the trees may be suffering an illness to cause this? Are they dying?” the other Viis asked, looking over the crushed remnants still in her hand with concern. Almet paused, still marvelling over the odd phenomena.

“No, I don’t think it is that,” she said carefully, “I can’t guarantee what this is for certain, though I may have an idea. I would like you to keep an eye out on your patrols, and inform the other groups of the same; if any more turn out like this or if anything else changes, let me know. But I appreciate this news.” The guards shared a look, then nodded and rushed off into the town.

The wind grew fiercer, and Ryne found herself shivering in its blast. Almet stood, letting it rustle through her hair and clothes.

“To think, it may finally be happening again,” she hummed, turning the leaf over in between her finger tips.

“What? What’s happening?” Noting the rising panic in Ryne’s voice, Almet smiled.

“Nothing to be worried about…or perhaps we should. But not for the reasons you may think, Oracle,” she said, “Tis the seasons. They may finally be cycling once again. The forest is changing.”

“Seasons? Changing?” Ryne had heard the concept somewhat, from Thancred - he’d mostly explained them briefly, how the sun would grow warmer, or the wind would grow colder at different times in the year. But in a world without shifting weather patterns, the notion didn’t really seem to be understood anymore.

“I remember tales from my mother, from before the Flood,” Almet explained, eyes growing distant as she recalled the memory, “She would talk about how the seasons would change the forest; how the animals would shift and move their nests and families, following their food as it too moved; how the grass would grow thick and green with the heat, and thin and wiry with the chill; and how they had different produce cycles for each passing moon, how they had to plant many crops in one season to keep people fed in the others, as less could be grown. 

“And I know these past 100 years, the Light has prevented any such changes. The temperature may have dropped or risen, but it was never enough, and the forest was still the same as ever, unchanging and silent.”

“So…the idea of these seasons returning is good?” Ryne asked. The wind blew through once more, and this time Almet let the leaf in her hand fly free with the gusts.

“Yes, I think it is. Perhaps we will struggle to adjust after so long without, but I believe we can do that. And it will be wonderful to see the world return to its original self once more,” she smiled, “You may have extra work for yourself now to prepare the world for these big changes to come.”

[thornwolfy235]

WIP 3 - Chapter 1

I'm going to post a bunch of WIPs in a row now. maybe with a little feedback I'll get the gumption to finish one of them.

A bit of info on them first. I wrote all of these in an effort to deal with an exceptionally bad break-up (might as well call it a divorce, we lived together for 6 years). A lot of these are "how it should've gone" type stuff. I was never able to decide if they should be a full chapter by chapter "novel" or just a bunch of oneshots within the same universe and make a collection of them in order or whatever. Maybe I'll drop them to Ao3 as well. They are all xfem!Readers with my blorbos Grillby and Gaster (though most have no anatomy mentioned, so you can safely read no matter what gender you are). I'd appreciate a glance through if nothing else.

This would have been the first chapter of a fully written thing. Lots of world-building here. Reader goes to Grillby's for the first time. Quick note about Grillby, I've thought of him as selectively mute. He generally only talks when it is quiet/in small groups because if he raises his voice too much, he starts to roar and crackle like an out of control fire, which sounds scary and garbles his words anyways. As he'd rather not spook anyone, he just stays silent until he can be heard while talking softly.

CW: Discussion of emotional abuse, description for panic attack, mention but no follow-through for self-harm

“It’s good that he’s gone.” “The guy was a scumbucket.” “You’re better off without him.”

“Yeah, but it doesn’t take the pain away,” you’d always respond.

Your family and friends were well-meaning, and they were right. You knew they were right. But having a six-year relationship (five of which were spent engaged) end like…like that was impossibly painful. It wasn’t just that he cheated on you, it was that he clung onto you for an additional four months that made it hurt so much. If he had just left to be with them, it would’ve sucked, but at least it would have been a clean break. Instead, he spent those four months telling you he still loved you, still wanted to make it work with you, was still dedicated to you, but never missed an opportunity to tell you how much he loved them as well and how amazing they were. He told you he was polyamorous the morning after he cheated on you (in your bed), which made you want to be sympathetic towards his feelings, made you want to try that lifestyle for his sake since he said he felt so bad about betraying your trust, but… You were never one to try to tell others how they felt, but his behavior after that certainly made you question if he was being honest when he said he was poly or if he only said it to manipulate your emotions. He gaslit you into thinking your feelings on the whole thing were irrational and irrelevant, abused you into isolation and silence, made you dependent on him for any sort of attention or affection while also abandoning you every chance he had… How many nights did you expect him to come home from work only to get a text from him saying he was staying at their place again? How many times had he come home only to get an ‘urgent’ text from them and race out the door? How many nights, weeks, had you spent alone, even though he promised he wouldn’t do that to you?

Eventually he decided that he hadn’t love you ‘for a while now’ and walked out, leaving you to pack his things for him to come get whenever it was convenient for him. Those days were spent in a daze, just mechanically sorting through what was now just your apartment, doing your best to make sure you got everything of his, and then waiting for him to come get all the boxes from your living room, which took several more weeks. And why did you have to do all of that for him? Because seeing you sad was too hard for him to handle, though he always wanted to chat when he came to get more stuff. Oh, and he hadn’t had a chance to unpack the things from the last trip, because he decided to go camping with them the previous weekend. When he did finally come for the last few boxes, he praised you for handling everything so well, for being so civil and understanding, and that he looked forward to when you got over your hurt feelings so you could be his friend again. You closed the door in his face.

The following months were spent in a strange, hazy mix of activity and stagnating. You tried not to languish in your grief. You reconnected with friends you hadn’t spoken to in years because of him, went to events you were interested in without worrying about being ridiculed or condescended to by him, ate the foods you liked, watched the movies and shows you wanted to. But despite people praising you for not shutting down, you felt like you were just running away from or masking your pain instead of confronting it, not that you’d had any ideas on how to do that. You started looking around for a therapist, but trying to find one that was taking on new patients was proving to be nigh impossible. The two things keeping you going was your job, which you loved despite the frequent frustrations, and your guinea pig, Larkin. Having her there kept the apartment from feeling totally empty, and she never failed to make you smile. (You wished you could’ve found her a new friend after her sister had passed, but she had rejected any piggies you introduced, so it was just the two of you.)

You told most of the people you knew an extremely abridged version of what happened. “My fiancé cheated on me, tried to keep me and the other person, but ultimately decided he just wanted them,” is what you had settled on. Only your closest friends and your parents knew the full story. But everyone, whether they had the full context or not, said the same sorts of things.

“What an awful thing he did to you.” “You don’t need a cheater and a liar in your life.” “You’ll find someone better.” “You’re going to be okay.”

And even if all those things were true…

“It doesn’t take the pain away.”

–––––

Sometime during the months he’d spent going back and forth on you, news broke of Monsters coming out from beneath Mount Ebott. You’d been too wrapped up in your own situation to really take notice of it outside of a handful of news articles and an email from your work encouraging everyone to be welcoming. You’d had a few run-ins with Monsters, all of them completely uneventful, aside from the occasional startle when you’d round a corner and almost run into a spider-person as tall as you. You knew there were tensions between humans and Monsters (because of course there were; humans were awful to their own kind, why would they treat an entirely new race any differently?), but they always seemed friendly and polite to you. You really didn’t have the energy to make friends, but you made an effort to return their niceness whenever you did interact. Ultimately, their presence didn’t faze you much. If you were honest, you liked Monsters more than most humans. They didn’t…pester you the way humans did.

After another late, lonely night at work, you dragged yourself to your car and sat staring vacantly at the dashboard. You didn’t want to go back to the isolation of home yet. You’d fallen into a slump of work-home-work-home and recognized you needed to do something different. The town, however, started rolling up the sidewalks around eight pm, and it was after nine by now. Although… You had a vague memory of a bar or something opening not too long ago. There was a diner halfway between work and home you used to frequent that had closed almost a year ago, but you remembered there being a bunch of construction over there recently, a second story added to it along with a big neon sign, after which you’d seen lights on in the windows. Maybe they’d still be open this late, and you did have a book you’d been meaning to read with you… You’d have to apologize to Larkin for getting home late, maybe offer an extra lettuce leaf in compensation, but you just didn’t want to be in that empty apartment for a little bit longer. “Just a change of scenery,” you muttered as you put the car in gear.

Pulling into the parking lot, you studied the place for a bit from the safety of your car. The big neon sign read ‘GRILLBY’S’ in large orange block lettering, simple and to the point. The lights were on, and you could see the shapes of people moving around inside through the building’s original frosted windows. There were some pretty big silhouettes, so you figured there must be some Monsters in there, which was fine. You noticed much of the place’s original exterior décor hadn’t been changed, same frosted windows and stucco paint and square wall lamps, which you thought was sort of nice, like a nod to what the diner had been. Or maybe the new proprietor just hadn’t bothered to change those yet. You wondered if some of the original tchotchkes were still inside, too, though maybe the original owners had taken all of that stuff with them when the place was shuttered. Either option was nice, that nothing had been abandoned, or if it had been, it now had a new life. Maybe you shouldn’t personify faded posters and rusty license plates so much, but you were sentimental like that.

After double checking that your car was locked, you headed for the entrance. A small bell above the door merrily announced your arrival. You froze for a moment as the noise level dipped and heads turned to look at you, but the patrons quickly lost interest in you and resumed their eating, drinking, chatting, and…was that an actual table of dogs playing poker? Okay, dog Monsters, but still…the irony was too good to not at least grin at. There was a sign inviting you to grab a menu and seat yourself, so after another glance around the room, you picked a small table in a corner. It was unobtrusive and near a wall you could put your back to, which meant you wouldn’t have to worry about anyone coming up behind you and startling you. You skimmed the menu, finding typical pub fare – burgers, fries, soups, various sandwiches – and looked up to see who you needed to flag down to order.

Your heart leapt into your throat as you realized that you were the only human in the room. Was this a Monsters-only establishment? You knew there were some human-owned places that barred Monsters from coming in, but you’d never heard of Monsters treating humans that way. Of course, that didn’t mean it was impossible – surely Monsters needed that safety more than humans did. Panicked, you looked back down at the menu, rereading it several times. Nothing on it said that you shouldn’t be here, but there could’ve been a sign on the door. Was there a sign on the door? You couldn’t remember, but what if you missed it? You looked up at the room again, frantic. Should you leave? But your arrival had already been noted by some Monsters; if you left and this wasn’t a Monsters-only place, would they get offended? You didn’t want to be seen as a snob and have rumors get spread around about you, but if you weren’t supposed to be here and your presence could potentially upset some Monsters…well, you didn’t want that, either!

Monsters were now glancing at you, a few outright staring. Oh god, you were staring at them, weren’t you?! You wanted to down or look away or at least close your stupid eyes but couldn’t, your paranoia paralyzing you. Your breathing turned shallow and fast and it felt like your heart had forgotten how to beat a steady rhythm. No, no, no! You’d just wanted to spend some time out, just enjoy the ambiance and some food and your book, not have a panic attack! Your vision tunneled to a Monster that was approaching you, hands and face wreathed in – no, made of – fire, dressed sharply in a white button-down and black vest and trousers. If you weren’t on the verge of having a meltdown, you’d find the black bowtie to be a charming touch. You watched in terror as they stopped in front of your table, staring silently down at you. You couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, just stare up into their glasses, the reflections in which made it impossible to see their eyes. Were they mad? Were they here to throw you out? Their head tilted as they gazed down at you, clearly waiting for something. Your mouth opened but you couldn’t make a sound.

“grillbz is waiti-”

You fell out of your chair with a shriek at the low voice that came from directly beside you. You scuttled back until you hit the wall where you curled up, hugging your knees to your chest. “I’m sorry! ‘M sorry, I can leave! I-I didn’t mean to intrude! I didn’t know that I wasn’t supposed to be here! I’m s-so so-orry!” you babbled as the tears came, turning the world into blurred colors and shapes.

“whoa. relax, kid.” The same voice, now sounding startled, came from a blue-and-white blob and was almost drowned out by the sudden eruption of voices all around you. If the speaker hadn’t been so close to you, you likely wouldn’t have heard them at all. The cacophony only scared you further, making you cover your ears and stammer-sob more apologies. Some shapes stood up and began approaching you, coming to trap you, yell at you, tell you that you were stupid and awful and didn’t belong here and –

The fiery Monster raised a hand and the room went silent save for your whimpering. They moved slowly towards your side, coming at an angle instead of directly at you, and waved their hand again. The blue-and-white blob backed up in response. You watched, mesmerized by the flickering orange light, as they came closer still. They carefully knelt down beside you and paused, quietly assessing you. You clutched yourself in a frightened hug, wishing you could curl up so tightly that you’d vanish from existence.

“this is grillby. he owns the place, if, uh, if you couldn’t tell from the name,” the blob said helpfully. Glancing at them, you realized that…Grillby had made them back up so you wouldn’t be cornered by the two of them. In fact, by coming to your side, his approach had also ensured you hadn’t felt trapped.

Orange moved, and your attention snapped back to Grillby as he slowly extended his hand towards your shoulder. You held perfectly still aside from your hyperventilating, half expecting him to grab you by the shirt collar and chuck you out the door. You wouldn’t blame him if he did. Instead, he carefully placed his hand on your shoulder. Gentle heat radiated from it, from him. You found it comforting, soothing rather than alarming. He waited a moment to gauge your reaction, and when you didn’t pull away or freak out again, he shifted closer to slide the hand to the center of your back. The warmth eased the tension from your shoulders and you found you were able to breathe easier. Something in you settled as he rubbed small circles along your spine.

“I-I really am sorry. I c-can leave if you want,” you whispered, but he shook his head, or at least that was what you thought he did. You couldn’t see very well through your tear-clouded vision.

As though knowing this, Grillby plucked a pocket square from his vest and offered it to you. You looked between it and his…face(?) before gingerly taking it from his hand, worried that he might change his mind and decide to throw you out anyways. You took off your glasses to wipe away your tears and dry the lenses before trying to hand the pocket square back, but he shook his head again, holding up a hand in a “keep it for now” gesture. You clutched it close, worrying the fabric between your fingers as you tried to get a hold on your emotions, staring into his glasses. You couldn’t see his eyes (assuming he even had eyes) because the lenses reflected his flames. It didn’t feel like he was glaring at you, though. If anything, he seemed thoughtful as he regarded you.

“i’m sorry for scaring you, kid. i’m too used to humans just gawking at us monsters. i thought that’s what you were doing to grillbz. i didn’t realize you were already freaked,” the low voice said, and you looked to it to find the blob was a short skeleton Monster in a blue hoody, oversized athletic shorts, and…pink slippers. Huh.

“I-I’m not scared o-of Monsters. I thought…I-I thought I wasn’t allowed to be here,” you said as you stared at your knees, humiliated by your panic.

“Well, tha’s jus’ s-silly,” a slurred voice piped up. You looked up to see a seemingly drunken bunny looking at you (or at least you assumed they were, as they were unsteadily rocking from side to side). “Ev’ryone’s welcome at Grillby’sss…” they trailed off as they rested their head back on their table.

((needs stuff))

You took a shaky breath. “In some ways…the most insulting part is that he even lied to me when he left. He told me he would be staying at their place but that he wasn’t with them anymore. He claimed their attic was finished and he’d be living there. I didn’t need his coworkers to tell me that wasn’t the case, but they did anyway. He even confirmed as much when he came to get some of his stuff – that I packed – a week or so later. But he still lied even after he decided he didn’t want me anymore. Did he think it would soften the blow? O-or did he think I was just that stupid?” You clenched your hands, trying to stop their trembling. “Maybe I was stupid. I should’ve seen what was happening right from the start. I shouldn’t have let him talk me into staying with him while he started leaving me behind.” You forced back your tears by swallowing, but you couldn’t stop talking. “I-I know…I know I’m better off without him. I know he cheated on me and manipulated me and gaslit me. I know he probably hasn’t grieved the way I have about this relationship falling apart. I don’t think he misses me the way I…I miss the him I thought I knew. But it…it just doesn’t…”

“It doesn’t take the pain away,” Grillby finished for you. His voice was a soft tenor, the words seemingly breathed rather than spoken, nearly inaudible hisses, crackles, and pops accompanying the syllables. But as surprised as you were that he had spoken, what caught you more off guard was hearing your mantra said by someone else. 

Whatever resolve to not cry you had broke immediately. “He us-sed to love me. H-he used to care. I don’t-t know why or wh-when he s-st-topped. I don’t kn-know what I did wrong. I-I tried s-so, so hard to be what he wanted me to be. I ate what he t-told me to, did what he told me to, w-went where he told me to. I st-stopped doing the things I liked bec-cause he didn’t. I-I did the things he liked even though I did-dn’t. B-but it was okay a-as long as he loved me. I did e-every-everything I-I could to make him ha-happy, but it was-sn’t enough. I wasn’t enough. God, I-I wasn’t good enough! I failed…I’m a f-failu–” You broke off with a pained whine, screwing your eyes shut as though it would be enough to keep more tears from falling, and when you opened them again, Grillby was no longer in front of you. A wail ripped from your throat as the feeling of abandonment took hold completely. Of course he was gone. He didn’t have to care. You weren’t his responsibility. No one wanted to be around you, so why woul–

Warm arms wrapped around you, pulling you against an equally warm chest. Startled, you looked up to find Grillby had come around from behind the bar to hug you, and had somehow gotten close enough that he could do so without you even realizing he had moved. You tried to recoil only for his arms to subtly tighten. You weren’t afraid, though; you could feel the worry and care that radiated from the fiery barkeep along with his heat. “You didn’t fail him. He failed you. It’s not your fault he didn’t see or didn’t care that he was hurting you. It’s not your fault,” Grillby murmured.

“I-I’m s-sorry-y,” you whimpered, turning your face away, ashamed by your second breakdown of the night, only to be shushed.

“It’s alright. Let it out. I won’t tell a soul,” he said, that beautiful, gentle voice washing over you and taking the remnants of the dam with it. You leaned against him as painful sobs tore at your already sore throat.

((needs stuff))

“I-it’s pretty late. I guess I should go,” you said softly, finding that you didn’t really want to leave. Being around Grillby felt…nice. It was potentially the most relaxed you’d felt since…everything. Your eyes drifted to the black plastic tray with your check. “Oh, right, the bill! I-I got so busy talking that…” You trailed off as you got out your wallet.

“Allow me,” the elemental said, snagging the slip of paper. It ignited and was gone in seconds.

“Hey!” you yelped in surprise, and then irritation set in. “Look, I don’t want pity or charity –”

“It isn’t,” he broke in. “You’ve already paid. A meal for a story. Fair trade.”

You pursed your lips, eyes narrowing, before fishing out a twenty, a ten, and a five (you couldn’t remember the exact amount, but that seemed right plus extra for the hot tea and a tip), slapping them onto the counter and pushing them towards him. “Fine then. Payment for being a shoulder to cry on.”

He smirked, clearly amused, and pushed the ten back. “For letting yourself cry.”

You considered that for a moment. “Alright, fair trade,” you said, returning the ten to your wallet. That got a soft laugh from him, a soft, crackling thing accompanied by yellower flames. Something about being the one to make him laugh felt good.

((needs stuff))

“Before you go,” Grillby stopped you by the door. He pulled a small card from a pocket and held it out to you. “Here. I have a spare room where you can stay if you think you need to be someplace he can’t find you for a while. If you ever feel like you aren’t safe and need someone to bring you here, or have to come after hours, call me.”

You looked down at the little card bearing Grillby’s name and a phone number labeled as his personal cell rather than the business’. You looked back up at him. “I-I don’t understand…”

A quick little flash of blue went through his flames. Was he…embarrassed? “When we first came to the Surface, I had considered teaming up with a friend who would run an adjoining inn. After we bought this place and started renovations, we realized there were already several inns and hotels in the area, so adding another wasn’t going to be much of a draw. She found a different venture and I ended up living upstairs, but with the extra space, ‘Grillby’s’ became a…safe house of sorts. Especially in the beginning when Monster and human relations were still shaky. Now the extra space is used more often than not for anyone who has had a little more drink than they can handle.” His tone turned from reminiscent to fond with his last sentence and remained that way as he smiled at you. “But I extend the invitation to you. If you think you might be in danger, from him or anyone else,  and need an escort to get here safely, don’t hesitate to call. If I cannot come get you myself, I can find someone who can.”

You looked back at the card. You’d always known if your ex decided to start hanging around or harassing you that your parents would gladly welcome you back home for a bit, but they lived twice as far from your job as your apartment was, and the commute was already long enough. ‘Grillby’s’ was much closer to both your job and your apartment – nearly a midpoint between the two – which meant getting to and from safety would be much quicker. (And, while you loved your parents, you weren’t exactly eager to move back in with them. You already felt like a screw-up; doing so would just reinforce that. Staying at ‘Grillby’s’ might let you save face a little bit.) “If you’re sure it’s okay…”

“I wouldn’t have offered if it wasn’t,” he said kindly. “Though, speaking of safety, will you be able to get home alright? Not too tired to drive?”

You smiled up at him. “Yeah, I’m good. I need to go home tonight, anyways. Larkin’s before-bed lettuce is late enough as it is without me spending the night here,” you joked.

“Then you mustn’t make her wait any longer,” he chuckled. He opened the front door and you both looked across the dark, somewhat foreboding parking lot. “I’ll keep watch until you get to your car.”

“Thank you,” you said but hesitated, feeling like the words weren’t enough. Seeing that you were hovering, he held out his arm, inviting you in for a hug, which you gratefully accepted. “Thank you so much for…for everything, Grillby,” you whispered.

Despite his embrace only being one-armed, it was strong and genuine. “Of course. Have a safe drive home and a good night. And remember, you are always welcome here.”

He gave you a last squeeze before releasing you. You nodded with a sigh and a smile, feeling a lot lighter than you had when you first arrived. You trotted across the lot to your car and the two of you waved to each other before you got in. With another content sigh, you started the engine and got your music set up, feeling guilty when you saw how close to midnight it was. Larkin was going to read (wheek) you the riot act when you got home.

((needs stuff))

Grillby waited until your car left the lot before closing and locking the door again. The air pressure in the room shifted, growing almost unbearably heavy for a second before returning to normal. He sighed out a small puff of smoke. “At least tell me you weren’t eavesdropping,” he said as he turned to shoot a look at the skeleton now sitting at the counter.

“nah, i let you two have your privacy,” Sans said flippantly before turning uncharacteristically serious. “is she gonna be okay?”

“Given time and kindness, yes.” The elemental started putting up chairs for sweeping. “If you’re going to be here anyways, would you help with this?”

Chairs engulfed in blue magic began setting themselves on tables. “can i ask what happened to her?”

“You can ask, but it’s not my story to tell,” Grillby answered, fetching the broom.

“…fair. can you at least tell me why she freaked out like that?”

“Aside from you scaring her half to Dust, er, death? You really should stop doing that, by the way. Not every human has it out for us.”

“enough do,” Sans snipped back, though without any real anger behind it. Grillby couldn’t really argue with him. Enough time had passed since returning to the Surface for most humans to at least tolerate monsters, but there were plenty out there that still had vendettas. Still, Sans could have tried to read your body language before pulling the ominous-skeleton-stunt. Skies above, even without CHECKing, Grillby had been able to tell you had been frozen in fear, not gaping at them or gearing up for something malicious. Surely the Judge should’ve been able to see that much. “seriously. what happened to her?” Sans pressed, dragging him out of his thoughts.

Grillby stopped to stare at the floor as he searched for the right words to satisfactorily answer the question without betraying your trust. “She was…I think ‘abused’ is the right word…by an emotionally manipulative partner into believing that she was always in the wrong.” He knew the skeleton’s eyelights had vanished without having to look. Sans didn’t like humans, but he hated manipulators. “She thought she wasn’t welcome here, and had worked herself into a panic well before I approached her.”

“is she still with them?” Sans asked slowly.

“No, thankfully, but…events were recent enough for the memories to still be strong, and…trauma is often long lasting, as I’m sure you know. She has…a lot of recovering to do.”

Silence reigned save for the swish of the broom as the tension in the room dissipated. “i do feel bad about scaring her,” Sans said finally, sounding tired.

Grillby huffed another sigh, though this one was more affectionate. “I know.”

“so…you got the hots for her?” Sans drawled.

The elemental paused to glare at him. “Sans, no.”

“you warmed up to her awful quick, and she seemed to light up every time you got near,” the skeleton continued cheekily.

“How about you tell me why that might be, hm?” Grillby deadpanned, leaning on the broom. There was the telltale nudge at his SOUL as he was CHECKed.

Sans sobered immediately. “oh.”

“‘Oh,’ indeed.”

“…did you tell her?”

He shook his head. “I was a bit…preoccupied.”

“…true.”

Grillby resumed sweeping. “It’s not that important, anyway. Though it probably was why I was able to calm her so quickly. So I supposed it is good in that regard. And after everything…I think she deserves to know there is someone she is safe with, even if it’s only her SOUL that knows.”

“yeah, guess that’s true, too. how do you feel about it? you know, ‘cause of the war…”

His flames snapped off an irritated puff of sparks. It was a valid question, even if he didn’t like being reminded of his time as a soldier. “I made my peace with that long ago. Besides, did she really seem all that dangerous to you? I suspect she’d be afraid of her own shadow if she thought she offended it. That, and I have a hard time believing our SOULs would connect so easily if she held any sort of ill-intent. Once she calmed down, she was amiable enough to the monsters that approached her. Nervous, but still pleasant. So yes, I am fine with having her as SOULkin, even if she is a human.”

Sans hummed in response. “so…anything you want to know about her?”

So the Judge had peeked at your SOUL at some point. Sans could do that without alerting the SOUL that he had done so, a skill that other monsters did not have (at least Grillby didn’t know of any others). You would have felt a normal CHECK and, not knowing what it was, would likely have been scared further by it. Seeing as you were already plenty frightened, he had refrained from doing so, though it had been tempting simply to get a better grasp of why you had been so upset. “Not particularly,” Grillby said dismissively, though he had a feeling that wasn’t going to stop the skeleton. Something about you was clearly bothering him.

Sure enough, after a few moments, he said, “she capitalizes the ‘m’ of ‘monsters.’”

Grillby paused. That wasn’t quite what he expected Sans to say. He knew how the skeleton brothers both seemed to ‘see’ spoken words, but he hadn’t thought that this would be what was upsetting Sans. “Is…that a problem?”

“no, just…weird, y’know? that she does that.”

“Perhaps she does it to distinguish our kind from the human notion of ‘monsters.’”

“yeah, i guess…” So that quirk wasn’t really what was nagging him.

Grillby stopped cleaning entirely to look at him. “Sans, what is it that’s bothering you?”

The already strained smile became even more so. “her stats are, uh…not great.” The elemental remained silent. “her def is pretty high…though it drops a lot when you get near her…which makes sense…soulkin and all...but, uh…”

“But?” Grillby prompted when Sans didn’t continue.

“but her atk is…it’s negative.”

A jolt went through Grillby like someone had thrown a glass of water at him. A negative ATK suggested self-destructive tendencies at best, moving into self-harm or worse when it got low enough. He could see it now as he looked back over the evening, how quick you were to self-deprecate, how you deflected any compliment, how you still blamed yourself for everything you had gone through, how you almost turned down the support he had offered. You had been wearing a jacket, though, which hid your arms and any potential marks. Maybe he should have tried to make you stay, just to make sure you really were okay. If he had just done that CHECK, he might have known –

“hey, grillbz, don’t go too green.” Grillby startled at Sans’ voice. Glancing at his hands, he could see that his flames had indeed taken on a sickly hue. “negative’s not the best, but it was only a couple of points down. i don’t think you have to worry too much about it. it’s just something to keep in mind, yeah?”

Grillby pushed down his mounting concern, forcing his flames to return to their neutral orange tones. “Right…yes.”

“sorry. i didn’t want to tell you because i knew you’d just worry. but i guess now that you know, you can keep a closer eye on her. but you were going to do that anyways, weren’t you?” The elemental tilted his head at the comment, silently asking for an explanation. “c’mon. really, grillbz? i’ve known you for a long time. you like taking care of others. you like feeling needed. she sure seems like she needs someone to take care of her right now. you were going to look after her, soulkin or not.”

He sighed. It was true. “I gave her the card for the safe house,” he said.

Sans smirked. “knew it.”

“Would you be willing to be an escort if she needed one?”

Sans froze for a second before relaxing. “…yeah. i can manage that.”

((needs stuff))