#this might also be because the total amount of time i'm spending on these tutorials is like 5.5 hours or so?

[projectjasper]

truly don't want to sound like a dick but i'm watching a series of video tutorials for zoom lessons and the guy giving the tutorials is like... 50 years old i'd say? something like that? and i've literally never used zoom before but some of the shit he says is so obvious to me 😭 "and now this is very important, if you click the 'join' button, you are actually miraculously going to end up in the room you clicked to join!" yeah you don't say...

[voix7]

Is maya a good program? :o I'm interested in 3D modelling but literally know nothing about it, closest thing I've used to a modelling program is sketch up ^^'

maya is indeed a good program. at least the versions i’ve used were. i believe they were 2012-2014 student versions. the older one were jank and glitchy sometimes though but when i had a 3d modelling class at my uni the 2014 version seemed to be a lot more stable so they’re probably fine now.

there’s things you gotta ask yourself, though, if you’re interested in learning:

what do you want to do with the skill?

how do you plan to learn, schooling or individually? 

do you want to pay for maya, monthly? 

these things are important, because they’ll tell you whether or not you even need to learn on maya specifically or not bother with it at all. because there’s a handy dandy thing called Blender which is a totally free 3d modeling software that has gotten better by leaps & bounds over time

if you’re learning by yourself, using the internet and tutorials, use blender hands down. its free and because its open source the community is extensive. you can always transition to maya if need-be (blender even has maya preferences to make it easier), but definitely start with what’s free

yes, maya student version is free. you can lie and get it for free. other than autodesk being a bad company to fuck with, there’s also no point in using it and learning maya if you don’t plan to eventually pay for it!!!! because then you’ll just end up with blender anyway and will have to learn brand new software all over again. save yourself the headache!

think about whether you just want to model for fun, work on indie things, or work in the AAA industry. 3d modeling has a steep learning curve, especially in maya. don’t slog through maya if all you want to do is have a fun time. again, save yourself the headache and start with what’s free. you don’t need to know maya unless you want to work on AAA games and the like

now, if you’re actually wanting to take a class for 3D modeling, a college course should be teaching you maya or 3ds max– the industry standards. if they’re teaching blender run the other way, regardless of what you want to do with the skill. blender is fucking free, there’s literally no reason to spend hundreds of dollars to be taught blender. if you’re paying you should be getting the advantage of a) student version software and b) learning the most commonly used professional software

so basically: doing 3d modelling for fun? blender. want to work on indie stuff? blender or maya. want to work in a company or on AAA titles? maya* or learn 3ds max in place of maya. it’s the other big modelling software

also a tip for starting out: learn how to effectively model for games then go from there. while things are certainly changing due to software & hardware getting more extensive and powerful, games still have limits to the amount of polys models can have. models also have to be done certain ways as to not break the engine or programming or cause glitches.

these kinds of limits help form good modelling habits (no ngons, correct topology, starting with general shapes, etc) that you might otherwise skip over. game models actually have to function, not just look good in a still. if you don’t learn function from the outset you’re gonna have a bad time.

edit: also keep in mind 3d modelling programs tend to be on the intensive side, so if you want to do really poly-heavy modelling or any sculpting you’re going to need a pretty good computer and video card for it. especially with sculpting. mudbox for example requires a nividia or radeon graphics card to function properly.

[rosesinapril16]

The little things

What resulted from listening to a Goblin OST playlist on Spotify...  I think the two songs that best suit this scenario are “Heaven” by Roy Kim & Kim EZ and “Beautiful” by Crush. I tried not to mention any names so that it can be up to the readers mind, but for me... my mind drifted towards Namjoon of BTS. What can I say? I'm total BTS trash TT^TT  Sorry that it’s not very generalized...I was thinking about him and I while writing it lol Enjoy!  ______________________

It was the little things he did that made my love for him only grow exponentially.

The way he would come from behind to hug me. He would burry his nose in the crook of my neck, inhale my scent, let out a sigh, and lastly a kiss that made the skin on my neck tingle in delight. I, of course, would lean back against him, not wanting him to let go. “I’m going to miss you” he said to me as he tightened his hold against me. “I’ll miss you.” i placed my hand over his and nudged my head against him. “It won’t be too long this time, though.” “I’m sorry.” he whispered against my neck and i felt a frown form on his mouth. “Don’t be.” i began to say as i turned my body to properly face him. "Please don’t ever feel apologetic towards me. This is your job and i understand that. I understood that when i fell for you and when we started dating.” I paused “If i didn’t think i could handle it i wouldn’t have been so adamant about pursuing you. Don’t forget it was me that asked you out.” I cockily said, snide smile forming on my face and quickly i saw his facial expression change. “Oh, was it really? That's not how i remember it.” he placed his hands on my hips and smirked. His eyebrow lifted and i couldn’t help but smile as i remembered the day we both drunkenly confessed to each other at almost the exact same moment. To be fair we both weren’t exactly drunk- more like tipsy and rambling about how some of our mutual friends would make a good couple. Somehow that lead to us and i just couldn’t help but confess at the exact same moment he did. I hysterically laughed to the point of tears and he simply shook his head against his hands at the fact that this entire time we’d both had feelings for each other after so many months of being friends and me thinking it was one sided. “Just one second. You beat my confession by one second but it was still me that asked you out.” he grinned and i admitted defeat. Those dimples always got the best of me. “You know,” i snaked my hands around his waist pulling his torso slightly against mine “i feel like our time apart really makes me realize how lucky i am.” “Because you get the apartment to yourself and you get to dance in your underwear without any, ehem, interruptions by me?” his eyebrows slightly wriggling causing me to let out a soft chuckle. “Well yes, if by interruptions you mean spontaneous sex sessions, but it also makes me appreciate you more. I realize how truly blessed i am to have you be my partner and call you mine. I’m extremely thankful towards you for the happiness and light you’ve brought into my life. I admit at first i would get really sad and upset that you had to leave me alone for so long only to come back for a few days before you had to leave again.” his face turned sullen “But now i only think about the beautiful moments we’ve experienced together and how i eagerly await to make many more beautiful memories with you when you come back to me. I also think about the beautiful moments you’re experiencing by yourself and with the members and the beautiful memories you’re giving your fans.” “I miss you immensely while you’re gone, i’m not going to lie, but with those memories we’ve made i still feel like a part of you is here with me.” We both stayed quiet, relishing in the moment and i felt he was still taking in the words i’d just said. At this point he didn’t respond he simply took me in for a tight embrace, refusing to let go. “Thank you. I love you, so much."

The way he would pretend not to be scared when we were watching scary movies but his body language clearly said otherwise. We would both start out with a bit of space in between us as we sat on the couch. "Stretching space", he would call it, "because we’re both pretty tall.” It was during the jump scares, some of the bits that scared me the most, that he would slightly flinch causing his eyes to blink a certain way and he would subconsciously scoot closer to me. Once i started noticing he did that i would simply cuddle up closer to him. “You scared?” he whispered to me. “Mhm. You already know these types of movies give me nightmares.” i replied, intertwining my hand with his. “Then why do you keep wanting to watch them?” he looked at out our hands and gave me a peck on my forehead. “Because i don’t like watching them alone. I only watch them with you. Plus i know how much you love them” i stroked his thumb with mine, then brought the back of his hand to my lips as i let out a snide smile. “You just love torturing me when i’m back, don’t you?” he said as he chuckled. “Its okay, you know i’ll get my payback later tonight.”

The way his hair was so messy whenever he woke up and his face was always in that same dopey daze-like state when he would tell me good morning. All he had to do to fix his hair from the disaster it was when he first woke up was either shake his head a bit or run his fingers through it it, or a bit of both, and i deeply envied that about him. “You know, i really don’t get it.” I said as i put my glasses on and sat up on our bed. “You fix your hair in a matter of seconds, literal seconds, and i have to spend anywhere from half an hour to an hour and a half to look decent. And thats just hair.” “Babe,” he began to say as he moved closer to me, laid his head on my lap and looked up at me “do you have any idea how beautiful you look right now?” “Is that you talking or your morning wood?” i said glancing over at the bulge in his boxers. “Mostly me. But junior here never lies either.” he stretched out a bit and let out a soft chuckle which was music to my ears since his voice was still quite gruff from having just woken up. “You’re beautiful. You know that, right?” he said to me again sternly, looking at me lovingly letting me know he truly meant the words that came out of his mouth. “Of course i know that.” i cheekily smiled, returning his loving gaze. “I love you.” “I love you.” he replied, nuzzling his face against my legs.

The way he would smile and stare at me whenever he would catch me dancing. It was mostly while i was doing house chores or whenever i played my music when i thought i was home alone. It was always bachata that made me sway my hips the most and really dance. Unfortunately for him, it wasn’t often that i played it, only when i was feeling really home sick and needed something to remind me of my family and my more youthful days. When i knew he was staring at me i would purposely slowly make my way towards him, without letting him know he was being completely obvious, and when i would finally get close enough to him i would grab him by the hand and pull him to dance with me. He’d never really put in any effort to bother to learn how to dance bachata so whenever i tried to get him to dance with me he would make an excuse about how stiff his hips were and how he couldn’t move them like i did. “You’re really going to say you have stiff hips after the countless body waves you’ve done on stage and the amount of times we’ve had sex? I’ve seen and felt the way your hips move, and its definitely not stiff.” i said as i excitedly placed my hands on his hips. "Todays the day, oh boyfriend of mine. Today you learn how to dance bachata.” And after roughly 30 minutes of youtube tutorials, him practicing diligently, and a few practice runs, he finally had the basic concept down to a T. Granted, he wasn’t the best dancer in general, but neither was i and thats what made this whole experience even better. “I still prefer just watching you dance.” he said over the music. Still staring at me and still dazzlingly smiling at me.

The way he would concentrate when reading a book. 

 The way he laughed at his own jokes. 

 The way he would bob his head rhythmically when he was working on music. 

The way he loves skinship but always insists I’m the one that loves it. 

 The way he would run his hand through his hair. 

 The way he snickered when I curse in spanish. 

The way his face becomes serious when he’s upset. 

The way he would trace little circles on my skin when he has trouble sleeping. 

The way he would kiss my neck teasingly because he knew it was my weak spot. 

 The way he sighs whenever he eats something delicious. 

The way he smiles and gets shy/cocky whenever i compliment him. 

 The way his voice sounds when he just wakes up. 

 The way we could be thousands of miles apart and still make me feel like the most special and loved girl in the world.

These are the little things i remind myself of every day as i live my life without him here next to me, while he’s busy with his career. I remind myself of these things because even though i always miss him immensely, i always know he’ll be back. I always know he will text me when he can or call me when he can. Somedays he even sneaks away for a few hours just to drop by and visit our home. During schedule when he’s close by, he’ll come by at night just to sleep next to me and holds me against him. We might stay up and talk for a few minutes but eventually, sleep wins the battle. In the morning when i wake up, however, there's only a few traces of him to confirm that it wasn’t just a dream. But every day I'm thankful for having him in my life, for giving me the love i thought i didn’t deserve, for bringing me so much joy, and for teaching me to always love myself.