#this man would be in the headlines for the craziest shit

[chaotic-tired-fox]

I see a lot of people suggest that Dr Clef is a southern cowboy Texan, speaks like he fell out of a western movie. But I propose,

Dr Clef is a Florida Man

[aff1uence]

𝑽𝑨𝑵𝑰𝑻𝒀  𝑭𝑨𝑰𝑹  𝑷𝑹𝑬𝑺𝑬𝑵𝑻𝑺  ...  a  lie  detector  test . 

"  we're  going  to  be  taking  a  lie  detector  test  today.  you  will  be  hooked  up  to  the  machine,  and  we  will  ask  you  a  series  of  questions  -  whether  you  tell  the  truth  or  lie  is  up  to  you,  but  the  test  wil  be  able  to  snitch  out  any  lies."

this  feels  like  a  dream  come  true  for  the  up - and - comer .  "  i  am  so  fuckin'  stoked  about  this ,  man .  you  have  no  idea .  "  finn laughs warmly .

"  to  start,  what  is  your  first  name  and  what  city  are  we  in  ?  "

clapping  his  hands  together  in  excitement ,  finn  gives  the  camera  a  charming  but  goofy  smile .  "   i'm  finn  and  we  are  here  in  the  big  apple ,  my  home .  "  

"  thank  you.  how  are  you  feeling  today  ?  "

"  like  i'm  having  an  out - of - body  experience  or  something ,  "  he  explains  jovially .  "  this  is  the  kind  of  shit  you  see  like  ...  big  big  names  doing ,  you  know ?  "

"  understandable.  how  about  an  easier  one  -  what's  your  favourite  colour  ?  "

"  blue ,  like  lake  water .  i  grew  up  near  two  massive  lakes ,  spent  all  my  afternoons  there .  "  seeing  that  particular  dark  blue  always  bring  him  back .

"  and  your  favourite  film  genre ?  "

"  i  like  a  little  bit  of  everything .  i  love  a  good  art - house  film ,  especially  one  that  will  suddenly  just  hit  you  two  weeks  later .  "

"  let's  see  -  what  is  one  thing  you  wouldn't  be  found  without ?  "

"  obviously  my  phone !  i  have  a  horrible  sense  of  direction ,  i  would  literally  get  lost  going  to  my  local  bodega  if  it  wasn't  for  having  google  maps  on  my  phone .  "  he  laughs .

"  keeping  it  light,  what's  your  drink  of  choice  ?  "

finn  furrows  his  brows ,  glancing  to  the  side  where  his  pr  manager  sits .  they  give  him  a  non - committal  shrug  and  he  turns  his  attention  back  to  the  interviewer .  "  seeing  as  i  don't  drink  anymore  ...  just  a  good  old  sprite  or  7 - up  or  something .   "

"  which  of  the  following  have  you  attended,  and  would  you  attend ?  "

bold  what's  been  attended,  italicize  what  would  attend  /  attend  again.

the  ballet.  the  met  gala.  the  horse  track.  the  race  track.  a  yacht  party.  the  opera.  the  orchestra.  a  broadway  show.  a  shakespeare  production.  a  concert.  a  comedian.  an  (  american  )  football  game.  a  soccer  /  football  game.  a  documentary  film.  a  film  premiere.  a  polo  game.  art  museum.  wine  tastings.  nyc  sightseeing  tour.  celebrity  sightseeing  tours.  haunted  tours.  charity  galas.  fashion  shows.  fashion  week.  disneyworld  /  disneyland.  a  basketball  game.  a  hockey  game.  a  baseball  game.  a  boxing  match.  a  cricket  match.  the  golf  course.  the  olympics.  

"  oooh,  we're  jumping  into  something  a  bit  heavier  now.  what  is  the  one  thing  you  want  to  achieve  in  life  ?  "

"  win  an  emmy ,  i  think .  "  it's  a  little  of  a  low - ball  answer ,  but  it  is  the  truth .  so  many  of  his  dreams  had  been  coming  true  lately ,  it's  hard  for  him  to  imagine  something  too  extravagant .  "  which  might  be  doable  ...  we've  submitted  stick  season  for  their  consideration  so  ...  finger's  crossed !  "

"  who  knows  what  the  fates  have  in  store.  how  do  you  feel  about  reputation.com ?  it's  ​​​​​​​all  ​​​​​​​anyone  ​​​​​​​seems  ​​​​​​​to  be  ​​​​​​​talking  about  lately."

"  you  guys  are  brutal  sometimes  !  i  kind  of  love  that .  though  i  want  to  make  sure  never  to  get  on  your  bad  side .  "  

"  everyone  is  entitled  to  their  own  opinion,  i  guess.  what's  the  weirdest  /  craziest  headline  you've  read  about  yourself  there  ?  "

"  i  think  i  saw  a  headline  saying  that  i  have  like  5  dogs ?  i  really  wish !  "

"  what's  something  you  are  currently  working  on  ?  "

"  some  absolute  bangers ,  man  !  i  have  some  really  cool  collaborations  coming  up  that  i  can't  say  anything  about  yet ,  but  ...  soon .  "

"  i'll  look  forward  to  it.  one  last  official  question  -  and  it's  an  easier  one.  cats  or  dogs ?  "

"  i  guess  i  kind  of  gave  my  answer  away  earlier ,  but  definitely  dogs .  though  i  respect  cats .  they  have  boundaries ,  that's  cool .  "

"  personally,  i'm  a  dog  fan  anyday.  anything  else  you'd  like  to  add ?  "

"  this  has  been  super  cool .  i  kind  of  wish  i  could  get  one  of  these  for  my  place ,  this could  be  an  amazing  party  game .  " 

"  well,  thank  you  so  much  for  joining  us  today  ​​​​​​​-  can't  ​​​​​​​wait  ​​​​​​​to  ​​​​​​​have  ​​​​​​​you  ​​​​​​​back  ​​​​​​​with  ​​​​​​​us  soon."

[cordoniasmost]

It’s Always You - Part 2

Find Part 1 Here

Book: Platinum

Pairing: m!Raleigh x MC (Cadence)

Word Count: 2637

Warnings: Language

A/N: I’ve been wanting to test out writing from a first person POV since I’ve never done it before and this is my attempt. This little fluff piece takes place after Platium chapter 13. It’s going to have two parts.  I’m super excited to write my first Raleigh fic because he totally owns me. Happy reading!

Inspiration Song: I Know Places - Taylor Swift

Tag List: @averysheart-raleighsdick @kingliamsbish @furiouscloddonutpeanut @didyoujoinacult @desiree-0816 @i-bloody-love-drake-walker @sarahhzkh31 @lovedrakewalker

As soon as the word left my lips, Raleigh crushed me to his body, pushing his tongue into my mouth and I loved every second of that kiss, as if he were claiming me as his. He pulled back gently, a look of wonder in his eyes. “Are we really doing this?” he asked me, a huge smile on his face.

“We’re really doing this. You’re going to be stuck with me for life, Carrera.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing, but it’s the best fucking thing I’ve ever heard. Come on,” he said, pulling me up with him. I had to grab the blanket and wrap it around myself because I was still totally naked from earlier. “Uh, Raleigh? We need clothes,” I said through my laughter.  

“Right, shit.” He stopped and ran his hand through his hair, a smirk on his face. “Unless you just want to wrap ourselves in these blankets and hop on a plane now?”

What was he talking about? “What do you mean, ‘hop on a plane’?”

“We’re obviously eloping tonight. You just said you’d be my wife and I don’t want to wait until tomorrow. Let’s fly to Puerto Rico tonight and get married at sunrise on the beach.”

Holy shit, this was happening and it was happening now. One of the things I love most about Raleigh is his spontaneity. Once he decides he’s doing something he fully commits and he wants to do it right away. Waiting isn’t really something he does well.

“Wait… Wait!” I pulled on his hand to get him to turn back toward me. He turned back, that smirk still on his lips, and raised his eyebrow.

“We need witnesses. Let’s grab Avery and Zadie.”

“Good plan, babe. You’ve got ten minutes. The plane’s already waiting,” he said, grinning at me.

“It’s almost like you’ve been planning this the whole time.”

“I have.”

“What if I take longer than ten minutes?” I had to ask. Challenging Raleigh was one of my favorite pastimes right behind making out with him or fucking his brains out. He’s possessive and commanding and I love it.

His eyes narrowed at me glinting dangerously. “Don’t test me, estrella. You’ll find yourself thrown over my shoulder and carried to the car whether you’re naked or not. I don’t give a fuck. We leave in ten minutes.”

I bit my lip to try and hide my smile. I just might test him after all…

***

When the wheels of the plane touched down, the jolt woke me up suddenly. My head was still on Raleigh’s shoulder and my neck hurt because I’d been in this spot for a couple of hours. I hoped I didn’t drool on him, not that he would have minded but still. Turning my head slightly to look at his shoulder, it looked like the coast was clear. He noticed the movement, though.

“Hey, babe. We’re here. Ready to become Mrs. Carrera?” he asked, pressing his lips to my forehead.

I smiled and stretched my body out, working out the tightness in my muscles from the long flight. I can feel his eyes on me, watching how I move. He always stared at me like he couldn’t wait to devour me and it made me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world.

“Who says I’m taking your last name?” I tease knowing full well that I am. Like I said, messing with him is fun.

“Why, you want me to take yours? Raleigh Dorian… It has a nice ring to it.” That’s the thing about Raleigh. He’s just as good at messing with me.

I can’t help myself, he makes me laugh. “Now that would make headlines.”

“You and I both know you’re taking my name. The sun’s rising in an hour so we don’t have a lot of time. You’re probably going to want to change in the bathroom.” He pointed to the back of the plane.

He’s right, I need to change. I’m not getting married in jean shorts and a tank top. Walking toward the back of the plane, I passed by Zadie and Avery. “Hey, Z. Did you happen to pack me anything for this?”

Zadie rolled her eyes but I know she secretly loves me. “Already in that poor excuse for a bathroom, Cadence.”

“Thanks, Z. I owe you.”

“Pretty sure you owe me and Avery both for hopping on this plane in the middle of the night and flying to a different country for you,” she teased, turning back to the copy of Vogue open in her lap.

“Thanks, Zadie. Thanks, Avery.” I sang it out and neither of them could help smiling at me.

“Like we’d miss it, love. You know us better than that,” Avery said with a grin.

I turned and made my way into the bathroom, quickly changing into the dress. It was white linen and hugged my curves in all the right places. It hit at mid-thigh so it showed off my awesome legs. I didn’t do 100 squats a day just to hide these bad boys away.

When I stepped out of the bathroom, Raleigh was nowhere to be found but the plane door was open. I glanced at Avery who just smirked at me before standing up and grabbing his bag. “Ready, love?”

I nodded. Yep, this was definitely happening. The funny thing was I didn’t even feel nervous. I felt excited. Totally and completely ready to take this step even though it had come out of nowhere.

I made my way out of the plane into the thick humid air. The sky was just beginning to show the first streaks of light as the sun prepared to rise this morning. We didn’t have much time before it would be coming up and Raleigh said he wanted to get married on the beach at sunrise. I had no idea how far away the beach was but we were on an island. It couldn’t be that far, right?

“Where’s Raleigh?” I asked, turning to Avery.

“He went ahead in another car. We’ll meet him at the beach.”

That made sense, I guess. “Well, let’s get me married then. I still can’t believe I’m doing this. This is the craziest thing I’ve ever done and I just tackled someone on stage in front of millions of people.” I threw my head back and laughed at the ridiculousness of my life. I felt immensely happy, though. This was a spontaneous decision, but it wasn’t one I took lightly or hadn’t been already thinking about for a couple of months. It was just happening a lot sooner than I’d expected.

The black SUV pulled up to what looked like a private cove. The sky was glowing with pinks and purples as the sun made its way toward the horizon and the light cast an ethereal glow to beach in front of me. I hopped out of the car, shutting the door behind me. Avery climbed out of the other side of the backseat followed by Zadie.

My eyes were sweeping the white sand in front of me in search of my fiance. I smiled to myself. There wasn’t any time to get used to calling him my fiance since we’d only be engaged for less than 12 hours, but in this moment that was exactly what he was.

I spotted him down the beach a little ways standing next to a familiar figure. The three of us made our way down the beach and I kicked off my flip flops as soon as my feet hit the soft sand.

“Hank? What are you doing here? How’d you get here before us?”

The man who’d been like a surrogate father to me was standing next to my future husband. Raleigh reached out and wove our fingers together. “Raleigh texted me and asked me to come with you guys. I was on the same plane as you but I stayed hidden so it’d be a surprise. I got ordained a couple of years ago just in case I ever needed it. You never know when you’ll need to be prepared for a spontaneous wedding to save someone’s reputation,” he said, winking at me.

Gotta love Hank’s thorough preparation for any situation that could ever possibly come up.  I looked up at Raleigh and he was gazing at me with so much love in his eyes it almost took my breath away. “Last chance to get out of a lifetime of my shenanigans, babe.”

God, he was incredible. He had changed into Hawaiian print shorts and a white linen button down short sleeve shirt that showed off his tattoos running down his forearms and up his neck. It was just so Raleigh. It was about as non-traditional as someone could get when getting married but it fit our situation perfectly and I wouldn’t change a thing.

“Not a chance, Carrera. Now that you’ve got me here, you’re never getting rid of me.”

He broke out into a wicked grin. “Good. Let’s do this. Z, be our photographer?” he asked Zadie, handing her his cell phone.

“Whatever, Raleigh,” she said, but she took the phone and began snapping pictures from different angles.

“Ready?” Hank asked.

I nodded. Raleigh squeezed my hand and leaned forward, pressing his lips gently to mine. His lips were so soft, even though the kiss only lasted a few seconds, I leaned forward a little bit when he pulled back, not wanting it to end. When he kissed me like that, I forgot about everything else. He chuckled as I opened my eyes.

“Don’t worry, babe. There’s more where that came from later,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively at me.

I smacked him lightly on the chest, feeling my cheeks heat up. He was more open with his affection than I was so he liked saying things like that in front of our friends because he knew it embarrassed me.

“I’m going to skip a lot of this because there’s not a big group of people here,” Hank said. “It’s just the five of us so we’ll make it what we want. Sound good?”

Again, I nodded at him and saw Raleigh do the same. Holy shit, this was really happening.

“We’ve all watched you two grow closer over the past several months. What started as a publicity stunt turned into something real. I’ve personally watched you support each other, lift each other up when it was needed, care for each other when one of you was sick, cheer each other on from the sidelines, and mutually respect and love one another.”

Hank turned to Raleigh. “You know I’ve always been protective of Cadence and I wasn’t sure about your influence on her at first, but watching you with her, how you’ve helped her become more confident in who she is and made her believe in herself even in the hardest moments of self doubt has shown me that you truly love her and want what’s best for her even if it means a sacrifice on your part.”

He then turned to Cadence. “And Cadence, you’ve helped ground Raleigh. You humble him and bring him back to the real world, remind him of what’s real and keep his ego in check. You’ve shown him love and respect but you never take his bullshit.”

Everyone laughed, including Raleigh. “It’s true,” he said, a wicked grin on his face.

“I have no doubt your love will endure the tests of this life. That being said, it’s time for the vows. Since this happened so fast, I’d suggest you just speak from the heart. What do the kids say? Wing it?” Hank said.

Raleigh turned to me, holding my small hands in his bigger ones, his thumbs rubbing the backs of my hands as he looked into my eyes. “Cadence, from the first day I saw you at the One in a Million auditions, I knew you were going to turn my world upside down. I had no idea what it would look like, but I knew my life would never be the same after you. I was right. What I feel for you, it goes beyond words. You’re like a piece of me that was missing and I didn’t even know it, but you just fit. Without you, my life has no meaning. I’ll never stop showing you how much I love you every day for the rest of my life. I promise to keep you on your toes, too, because there’s no way our life is going to be boring, babe.”

I laughed. He had me there. Life with Raleigh would never be dull.

I looked up into his eyes which were filled with wonder as he gazed back at me, replacing the usual impish gleam that usually shone through. I took a deep breath, breathing out slowly. “Raleigh, you ruined me for anyone else the moment you kissed me that first time. Every day since you’ve found new ways to surprise me and sweep me off my feet. I still don’t even know what happened,” I said and he laughed.

“My heart has always belonged to you from that first kiss. I promise to always show you that no matter where we are, home is with each other. I love you.”

His eyes were shining with unshed tears and seeing him like made my eyes tear up, too. I’d never seen Raleigh cry, not once. A single tear broke free and ran down my face and he lifted his thumb and wiped it away. “I love you, too,” he whispered.

“Raleigh, do you take Cadence to be your wife?”

“I do,” he said.

“And Cadence? Do you take Raleigh to be your husband?”

“Hell yes!” I shouted, laughing through the tears now flowing freely down my face.

“Then by the power vested in me by Puerto Rico and the internet, I now pronounce you husband and wife! Kiss your bride, Carrera,” Hank finished with a grin.

Raleigh closed the distance between us, threading his fingers through my hair and pulling my face to his. His warm lips closed over mine before he deepened the kiss, our tongues dancing together.  I could hear hoots and whistles from somewhere behind us but in this perfect moment I didn’t care. Finally, he pulled back, resting his forehead on mine.

“I can’t believe we just did that,” I breathed, a huge smile on my face.

“You’re my wife now. No takebacks,” Raleigh teased.

His wife. It was a strange new title and yet it felt completely right.

“What do we do now?” I asked.

“Now I’m taking you for breakfast. I’m starving, and not just for food,” he said, dropping his voice low.

I felt a chill of anticipation run through my body.

“And sent!” I heard Zadie say. I glanced up at her. “What do you mean 'sent’?”

“I just sent a couple of pictures of the wedding to Fiona so she could use them to fix your mess. You’re welcome,” she said.

“I guess that’s it then. The world’s about to know you officially belong to me, Carrera,” I teased.

He leaned down and scooped me up in his arms, starting to carry me towards the waiting SUVs. “The more people who know you’re my wife, the better. I want to shout it from the rooftops.”

I understood how he was feeling. Just a few months ago, Raleigh Carrera was just another famous face who felt completely out of reach and now he was the love of my life, my husband, the person I’d share the rest of my life with.

I smiled. “Can we get pancakes?”

“Only if I can drizzle you in syrup and have you for breakfast after,” he countered.

“Deal.”

[wewerepromisedsomuch]

Live Review: Foo Fighters @ Reading Festival 2019

Artist: Foo Fighters

Festival:  Reading Festival, Reading, UK

Date: 25th August 2019

Rating: 9.0/10

When you have the keys to Reading Festival, as Dave Grohl and co do, you’d expect them to receive a warm welcome, and a scorching one was waiting for them on the festival’s hallowed turf for their third time of headlining the event, their seventh appearance in total. It’s not a secret that Grohl has a deep-rooted love for Reading; it’s the first festival he played as part of Nirvana and their headlining set from ’92 is the stuff of legend. So too is the first Foos appearance back in ’95, where the band packed out the Melody Maker Stage (now the Radio 1 Stage), so much so that the tent was overflowing, with punters clambering over themselves to see the ex-Nirvana man and his new band. It goes without saying, if Reading Festival had a house band; it would be the Foo Fighters.

Sailing through a set that clocked in at over two and half hours, the six piece closed off Reading in supreme style, wheeling out the hits, dusting off some vintage nuggets from the group’s first-eponymous record (a homage to THAT set from ’95), a clutch of covers and a guest appearance from Rick Astley, with the 80s star joining the outfit for a rollicking version of ‘Never Gonna Give You Up’ – random but oh-so crowd-pleasing. Grohl, ever the consummate frontman, teased the Astley hit by implying his band of merry man were due to launch into a song that put him on the map – the crowd gasped, could this be a ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’ cover? A thunderous opening suggests so before out bounces Astley from the wings and the mood shifts from heavy expectation to a silly-knees up; like the point in the night at a wedding when everyone’s smashed and laps up the cheesy hits. As a counterpoint to ‘Never Gonna Give You Up’s silliness, Grohl made a fitting tribute to The Prodigy’s Keith Flint before launching into ‘Run’. Referring back to 2009′s Prodigy set, that had Grohl watching in the wings, the Foos man declared it to be “the craziest shit I’ve ever seen”. A fitting sentiment to a man who sadly took his own life earlier this year. To match the burgeoning set of hits and treats, the set was bookended by two hefty firework displays, announcing and capping off the band’s top-slot in spectacular style.

With Foo Fighters casting their net far and wide across their burgeoning back catalogue, you’d expect there to be some peaks and troughs as far as crowd attention span but the likes of ‘Big Me’ and ‘Wheels’ garnered the same ecstatic response as ‘Monkey Wrench’ and ‘The Pretender’. ‘Best of You’, of course, generates a colossal sing-a-long, as does ‘My Hero’ but ‘For All The Cows’ and ‘This Is A Call’ create the same buzz, and reward those early Foo Fighters fans with songs harking back to the mid-90s. With Grohl massaging the Reading crowd in his hands like putty, the chief Foos man, playfully appeared surprised, as a large chunk of the crowd hadn’t seen a Foos show before. Given Foo Fighters have been around for 25+ years, these people have had plenty of chance – according to the band’s lynchpin. Even so, the die-hards, the newbies and those in-between were treated one and the same, with Grohl acting as the perfect host.

With ‘Everlong’ bidding the band’s farewell, both band and crowd were locked in a joyous union, as fireworks illuminate the night sky with a fiery red hue. Who knows how long it’ll be before Foo Fighters are back home but they know they’re always welcome; the key’s under the doormat whenever you’re ready boys.

[carlpalmer]

omfg,,, the world today is a crazy place. and i live with trump in my government office and let me TELL YOU about the crasy shit this man has pulled or has tried to pull, though it deinately isnt anything as odd as this...

i KNOW omg. it has arrived to the point i can't tell which headlines are real or fake anymore bc everything he says is SO chaotic. i hate to say this but bols*naro makes trump seem normal. his government has been the craziest, most evil and outraging era i have ever witnessed in my life

the sad truth tho is that had trump never been elected this new alt right/fascist wave would never have been spread to many other countries around the world (including here)

[bells-of-black-sunday]

all of them danny

Personal muse questions | Accepting

:squint:

1. If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be and why?

“I wouldn’t change anything, I was clearly made to be where I am now and I couldn’t be happier.”

2. How do you take your anger out?

“Mutilate whoever did it, they deserve it. You really shouldn’t piss off the person whose trying to kill you, you’re a fucking idiot if you even try to do that.”

3. Have you ever been severely depressed? If so, why, and how did you handle it?

“Not that I can remember, after my first set of murders I got pretty self absorbed in work. Not much to do other than plan routes and make sure you aren’t going to get caught.”

4. Who is someone you’ve cut out of your life, or wanted too, and why?

“Many girlfriends for the illusion of normalcy. Never cared about them and it felt weird to pretend to love someone you really couldn’t give a shit about even if tried.”

5. What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever worked for?

He gestures to the wall in his office that is covered in photos, newspaper clippings, notes and a lot of red string, “Figuring out this place, I’m getting closer at the very least.”

6. Have you ever faced discrimination? If so, what was it?

“My spree was from 86 to 93. Try being a gay trans man during that period and tell me if you face discrimination. What a stupid fucking question.”

7. Has someone close to you ever said something that hurt your feelings? If so, what was it, and did they ever make up for it?

“I stopped caring about people as soon as I started my work, people can’t hurt you if you don’t care about them. I just find it funny how no one would even think twice about the people I killed, they’d probably pass by them dying on the street, but oh suddenly because they’re in a news headline you all pretend to care.”

8. Have you ever been hit by someone close to you? If so, who hit you, and did they ever make up for it?

He runs his fingers over the scars on his face, “Not by anyone close.”

9. What’s some trauma you have, and how did you get it?

“I’ve talked to plenty of shrinks, don’t have an ounce of trauma in my body as far as I’m aware.”

10. What was the scariest moment you’ve had in public?

“Trying to get home after the bitch from Roseville cut my face like that. I wouldn’t really have an excuse and it’s quite obvious when someone has large wounds on the most recognizable place of their body.”

11. What’s the relationship like between you and your parents?

“Quite well. My parents were the best anyone could ask for. Supportive, working class nuclear family even had the cute little white picket fence. My mother worked for the church and was the sweetest woman I knew and my father was a used car salesmen, distant emotionally, but I still respected that man with every fiber of my being. I hope they at least got a book deal out of what I did,”

12. Where do you go to be alone?

“Just walking in the forest until I get lost and have to back track to find my way home.”

13. Have you ever put your hands on someone? If so, who, and did you ever make up for it?

He snorts, “Oh did I ever. 63 people and I stopped counting once I got here.”

14. What’s the craziest thing you’ve done with another person?

“Had sex in a bar bathroom while his wife was waiting for him in the car. Definitely my lowest point.”

15. Who’s the first person you contact on a lonely night and why?

“I like being alone.”

16. What’s your biggest regret and why?

“I don’t have any regrets, all they do is way you down.”

17. If you could pick only one person in your life, who would it be and why?

“I guess my mother, but I haven’t spoken to her and however long I’ve been here.”

18. What gives you nostalgia?

“Hearing survivors choke on their own blood, it reminds me of my first murders.”

19. What’s something embarrassing that you enjoy doing, and why is it embarrassing?

He thinks long and hard, “I guess if you can count watching shitty re-runs over and over embarrassing.”

20. How would you describe yourself?

“America’s most infamous serial killer that hid in plain sight, the Ghost Face was a terror that plagued the United states from 1986 to 1993 when he just vanished off the face of the planet. No one’s sure who he is, but with no strong suspects it’s hard to believe the case will be solved any time soon.”

[ibythetidepromotions]

An interview with Cory Arford of Carnifex

First off, how have you been coping during the pandemic?

During Covid, I have been just tryng to catch up on things, like shows, and gaming that I usually miss a bit or when touring. Also we started writing a new record around the time we all got told to stay home. So I've been just working and trying to adjust to working online for everything. Learned a ton about streaming, computers, network stuff and whatnot.

Has this affected many of the planned tours for Carnifex?

Covid has ruined our lives almost. We had tours planned all year and big stuff for the beginning of next year and it all went away.  We were literally hours away from heading out when this all went down. We had a HUGE paycheck coming to us after that tour, not to mention a new tour with new bands and a totally different fan base. That tour was set to do a lot for us and all we did was lose  about $30,000+ We've had to switch to working and doing things online through Patreon just to pay our bills.

What's the future plans so far right now for Carnifex?

Right now we have a couple tours lined up for late winter/early spring, and we have plans to release a new album in spring time next year.

So being in music as long as you have in Carnifex especially, what is one of the craziest tour stories you could share?

We have pretty much told all our craziest stories we can tell in lots of interviews, but, I guess I'll just embarrassed myself since I'm doing this alone. On our first tour back after Ryan left. 2013 we did a tour with Emmure, I killed The Prom Queen, and a couple other bands in Europe(sorry I can't remember the other bands right now). So second night into tour, just met everyone basically, and we decided to open a couple bottles of vodka. I drank a lot. and I guess I went up to my bunk, emptied my pocket and put my sleeping clothes on and proceeded to walk to the front of the bus where Prom Queen was sleeping and I tried to crawl into their singer Jamie's bunk. He kicked me out and I guess I stood in the aisle between all their bunks and peed on the floor and then went to my buk and went to sleep. Perfect first impression. haha.

Who are some of your favorite people to tour with?

Some of my favorite people to tour with are Whitechapel, Emmure, Unearth, Within the Ruins, Oceano, and After the Burial.

If you could bring back any band to come back, who would be that choice?

Pantera. I missed out big time. Got into metal super late and didn't appreciate Pantera when I was younger. I could've gone to see them and just wasn't into it back then.

What is your all time favorite album you have released as a band? Also favorite song?

My favorite album from us I guess would be 'Until I feel Nothing'. That album I wrote some of my favorite riffs on, I got to build a guitar tone for it, and I tracked all the guitars. I felt most confident about it and just feel like victory didn't do shit for it and with Ryan leaving right after it got no attention. Favorite song from us might be "Names Mean Nothing". Short, sweet, hard hitting, groovy as fuck.

What is the most memorable experience of being in Carnifex so far? Most memorable experience is the whole thing. I always wanted to be in a band with my friends so joining a band with people I didn't know was difficult. I'm not a confident or comfortable person so I took a huge leap doing that and it paid off. Shawn, Scott and Fred have become my family, and closest friends. We've gone so much farther than any of us believed we could. So there have been a lot of sick things we've done, but, I think the whole thing is an experience in itself and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Were you in many bands before Carnifex? If so, who? Carnifex is the only band I have ever been in.

What are some of your favorite bands?

My all time favorite bands are as follows, in no particular order: Deftones, 311, Korn, Fear Factory, Metallica and Slipknot.

What are some bands that most people enjoy, but you cannot?

I cannot stand just about everything on the radio. Nirvana, White Stripes, Paramore, stuff like that.

Guilty pleasure music?

Guilty pleasure music? I fuckin' love 80's synth wave music. Like the music from Stranger Things and stuff like that.  But, I don't know that it's a guilty pleasure. Also Rap, like Eminem, Tech N9ne, Joyner Lucas, Logic, Royce Da 5'9" and others like them.

What is your all time favorite movie?

All time favorite movie is tough, because I have favorites in lots of Genres. I guess I find myself wanting to watch Predator, or Alien a lot. But also Tommy Boy, Dumb and Dumber, and Ip Man, and other Kung Fu movies.

Favorite video game?

Favorite video game might be Mega Man x4. I have beaten that game well over 200 times.

Worst habit?

My worst habit is shitty food. Carne Asada fries, Pizza, deep fried stuff.

If you could make a tour for Carnifex to go on, who would be on the bill and what order?

Would never happen, but, a tour with Korn headlining, Slipknot direct, Deftones and us opening.

Favorite super hero?

Favorite superhero is the anti hero, SPAWN!!!! 

Favorite place to tour?

I like touring America. I like things to be easy and touring America, even in a van, is easy.

Favorite place to eat?

I think Brazilian steakhouses are my favorite places to eat. Huge salad bar, and endless meat right off the grill sliced at your table right onto your plate. 

Least favorite place to eat?

Least favorite place to eat is this Russian place that's like a buffet but you point and they scoop. The food is awful and they take every time we go there. 

Favorite song to play live?

Favorite song to play live would probably be Down Me in Blood. I think.

Least favorite song to play live?

Least favorite song to play is Lie To My Face. I have played that song every show since we wrote it. I like the song, I'm just tired of playing it.

If you could cover any song in Carnifex, what would it be?

I would like to cover "Bored" or "My Own Summer" by Deftones.

What band/bands got you into metal?

Actually I credit my old buddy David from middle school for getting me into metal. He brought 3 tapes to my house when we were like 12, and they were Weezer's blue album, The Offspring's 'Smash' album, and another punk band I forget, but they changed my mind. From there I found 311, and then Deftones and Fear Factory and it just got heavier and darker as the years went on.

Why do kids like Cinnamon Toast Crunch?

Because of the sweet sugary cinnamon crunch that's part of a complete breakfast, duh.

When you compare your latest material to your first EP, is there anything you wish you would have done differently? How has the growth of your own songwriting influenced your plans for the future?

I wish nothing to change. If we did things differently I don't think things would be the same for us. Our first material is exactly what we wanted to put out then. And now.

Why you gotta be like that sometimes?

I am who I am and y'all wouldn't love me if I wasn't like that sometimes. baboom!

Carnifex Social Media:

Facebook

Twitter

Instagram

Merch

Interviewer: Alexander Friedman

[moviesihaveseenbeforeiamdea-blog]

#443 A Hard Day’s Night

Released: July 6, 1964

Director: Richard Lester

Written by: Alun Owen

Starring: John Lennon, Paul McCartney, George Harrison, Ringo Starr

Had I Seen it Before? No

Favorite Beatle? Stuart Sutcliffe

There is absolutely nothing anyone can ever say about the Beatles again. Nada. Every conceivable position on their sound, influence, quality, legacy, anything...it’s all done, litigated to death. When it comes to any artist who is as monumental in their field as the Beatles, an analysis is less about constructive discussion than it is to see who can arrange the cliches in the most interesting way. It’s why click-baiting headlines about which contemporary musical acts can be compared to the Beatles aren’t even worth hate-reading. If anyone could actually compare to them, we wouldn’t still be comparing every potential breakout act to the fucking Beatles. 

And you can’t separate this movie from the Beatles as a musical act. You’re not supposed to. This movie came out in 1964, right when the dudes were exploding. This was very much intended to fan the flames that had already been lit. It’s disingenuous to treat this movie as though it were made for any purpose other than to advertise the Beatles. 

In lieu of all that then, here’s a simple story of mine, familiar to anyone who has some memory of being young and anchored down to a moment in time by the music of this band. 

I never listened to the Beatles as a kid. My parents only had The White Album on CD, and the few Beatles songs I knew the names of weren’t included on that one, so I never bothered to give it a listen (and, in retrospect, it’s weird that my parents even had that one CD, given that they weren’t fans of the band and The White Album isn’t exactly what I’d call accessible). For a long time I never knew anything about them other than they were a band that everyone had already decided was very good, and so there was no reason for me to throw my hat into the ring. 

It wasn’t until my junior year in college did I even think about re-evaluating my agnosticism. I saw this heartbreaking video on Reddit of a father singing “Blackbird” to his dying infant son and, before I could even recover emotionally, sought out the original song to listen to and loved it. Then I moved to “Yesterday,” and had both of the solo Paul acoustics in my listening rotation, and then pushed my way through their discography. Within a couple months, I was listening primarily to The Beatles and reading anything I could find on the internet to learn everything I could about their history. 

All the while there was, of course, a girl. 

I was younger, a little confused, and single. She was beautiful, funny, and also single. It was bound to happen. We met in a writing workshop class. I’d decided to drop out of school that summer and then, two days into the fall semester, panicked and re-enrolled while I still had the time. I showed up to that class at its second meeting, having missed the introductions. But I saw her. It wasn’t an augury, there wasn’t anything fateful about those first couple days, nothing that said what would happen between us was foretold to happen. I thought she was pretty, but in college pretty girls are everywhere, and it wasn’t my habit to assume I had anything worthwhile to say to them. 

The semester went on and we became good friends, and when the semester ended we remained friends. There were a few of us that met in that class that stayed together after it had ended. We all got along, and each of us had something different to bring to the table. But I was in love with her. 

And as I worked through my feelings for her---privately, and with a feeling of shame that breaks my heart to think about today---I listened to the Beatles. The two were never dependent on each other at first, but they both happened to be developing in my life at the same time. 

Most people seem to grow up with the Beatles, but I didn’t, so being the kind of stupid I was, when she told me about how she’d spent so much time listening to them with her mother, it made me feel as if maybe those two new attractions in my life weren’t so independent after all. When you’re in love but not ready to assume the responsibility of deciding that it’s too easy to cling onto any external justifications about why what you feel has to be so. It’s easier than admitting you that something so persuasive, so overwhelming in your day-to-day life, might not be totally thought through or even accurate. Because I loved the Beatles and because she loved them too, I loved her. 

The relationship that came out of it wasn’t good. College was hard, everyone gets hits with something they weren’t prepared to deal with and we both got hit with several somethings. I got way too into drugs, she got way too into being self-loathing. We took it out on each other. For about two years it was back and forth, trying to make it work and then exploding into rages at each other with the slightest provocation. It was miserable. 

But not all the time, there are memories I have throughout that whole relationship that are precious to me, and when, in increasingly-rare moments, I get angry remembering her, what I have to remind myself is that there were times when we were happy together, and usually they involved the Beatles. 

There’s no way of knowing how many hours we spent together on a weekend night (or, often enough, a weekday night, because, fuck it, it’s college) drinking to get ready to go out and do more drinking, laughing together and with friends, planning the shit we were about to get up to, and listening to the Beatles in the background. 

When I moved to a shitty house in the shitty student neighborhood, the only room I put any effort into making nice was the living room. It had couches, a wonderful rug, an incredible tapestry of a woods, and speakers to play music through. I made that room as a sanctuary fpr the two of us. We smoked a herculean amount of weed. We would come back to my house between classes and smoke. We would smoke after class. We would smoke whenever there was something to smoke. One time we got so stoned we could barely move and went to a magic show they were playing at the campus auditorium, and I nearly passed out with anxiety watching a man fire off a series of crossbows in a ridiculous Rube Goldberg contraption with the objective of shooting the piece of fruit on top of his head and, you know, not his fucking face. Afterwards, we agreed it was the craziest shit we’d ever seen. I’ve never been higher than I was with her, repeatedly. 

And all that was soundtracked by John, Paul, George, and Ringo. 

When we were separated for a summer I wrote her all the time. I sent her mix CDs, and they usually had one or two songs from the band. Once I even made her one comprised solely of their stuff, throwing in “Revolution 9″ in there because she was the only person in the world I knew that loved the shit out of that song. 

That Christmas she gave me a book of illustrated Beatles lyrics. I’d never seen anything like it. In it, she wrote little notes about herself and me and our friends, and she gave it to me after weeks of the two of us fighting. I sobbed. Our whole relationship was melodramatic from end-to-end, but there were moments when the emotions, even in their extremes, were real and justifiable. As we wound down to our inevitable breakup, I often thought of what it must have been like in those final, tense years in the Beatles, when it seemed like all the magic was gone and what was left was a reminder that all things really do have to end. 

I can remember one Halloween when I came home from my fucking slog of a shift at the bar that night, and she was there with my roommate, both of them drunk off their asses and tweaked out from some amphetamine. I was exhausted. I showered, put on my robe and then came out to the living room and sat down on the couch. She chugged water and told me at a million words a minute about her night. I put on some music. She told me she wanted to smoke. I packed a bowl. She laid on top of me, I gave her the bowl and put my arms around her. It was the first time we’d ever touched each other like that, with some sort of intent. She’d take a hit and I’d take the bowl from her, arms still around her, and carefully take my hit while trying not to light her hair on fire. Nothing else happened between us that night, we just lied there smoking until she needed to go home. But it was one of the most intimate experiences of my life. So much wanting and dreaming and wondering if anything would ever happen, and then there we were, together. 

I don’t know what music specifically was playing that night. I’ve forgotten that detail, unfortunately. I’m sure it was one of the infinite playlists I was constructing with the time we spent together in mind. But, as we were lying there wrapped around each other and smoking the hell out of a bowl, I know that The Beatles had to have played at some point. 

If it’s all the kind of cliche I’d said I wanted to avoid at the beginning of this, I don’t care. That’s the way it happened. Maybe I fed into the image of what I wanted that relationship to be once in a while, and maybe she did too, but the feelings---good and bad---were always there, always real. We don’t talk anymore, the two of us, and I’m not sure we ever will again. Most of the time I don’t miss her, there are too many painful moments to remember to find any point in missing her. But the Beatles are music to miss people by, and everyone who loves them listens to them remembering someone or some period of time in their life. And once in a while, when I’m sitting around in my room smoking an afternoon away and listening to “Norwegian Wood,” or “All My Loving,” or “Rocky Raccoon” or the Abbey Road medley, I remember that there used to be someone else there. And I’d be lying if I said that didn’t make me feel like some of me was missing. 

Final thoughts:

I had no idea that Paul McCartney’s grandfather was James Joyce. 

Richard Lester brings a kinetic directorial style to this movie that keeps it buoyant when it could have been bogged down in the marketing it is so clearly obligated to. It may be feeding a commercially-necessary myth, but it makes the viewer’s role in that relationship enjoyable. 

Their music is so ubiquitous and their status so large it’s easy to forget until you see them in motion that these were very young men when they were kings of the cultural world. 

Hats off to them all, they’ve got a great comic sense, and only very rarely does it feel weird to be watching a movie about The Beatles. 

Recommended: Elvis Presley, Yoko Ono, your local Beatles cover band