#this man brings me joy while I suffer through period cramps

[teddybearty]

Swanky Man 💰💕

[harveywritings92]

BNHA vampire soulmate scenario: When you first saw them 2

 The first time you saw him, he was feeding off someone.

TWs: Blood, death and alcohol 

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Hawks: {petal storm quirk reader] You were taking a late night walk, tonight you just couldn't settle down, Maybe you were just annoyed because your period had started early without warning and you had to get rid of a nice pair of pajama pants... you were a few miles from your house and stopped a vending machine to get a warm drink, when something red caught your attention. "A feather?" your brows furrowed in confusion as you went over to take a look.

it seemed familiar... 

You know you've seen feathers that shade of red somewhere, but can't remember where, you hummed picking it up to examine it when something else caught you attention. 

Out of the corner of your eye nestled in a semi-wooded area of the park, you saw a blond man with red wings on his back standing a bit off to side facing the trees, you watched incredulously before it clicked that he wasn't alone... 

You could see he had a woman pressed up against a tree face buried in her neck, your face felt hot embarrassed that you saw them getting intimate, before realizing something. the lady wasn’t making any noise... the guy was groaning but the woman was dead silent!

You stood up about to yell at them, when you felt a cramp tingle in your lower regions causing you to moan in pain than felt something trickling down your leg. *oh... goddamn cheap ass pads!* you hissed realizing you were leaking blood all over you legs, then turned back to duo to find the man was now looking right at you! his gold eyes glowing red blood dripping down his lips as he eyed you oddly. 

He set the passed out woman down on the grass and slowly started walking towards you! which caused you to rightfully panic and runaway, The man blinked he looked baffled that you were running from him! and in seconds he was airborne flying after you and catching up at an alarming rate! “Damn.. he's fast!" you huffed get ready to jump. "But I'm faster." you muttered and in the blink of an eyes you burst into flurry of rose petals and sped off like bullet leaving red-wings in the dust.

When you got home you reported what happen to police but got a call back that there was no one in the park, and were told to not to misuse the emergency services for your pranks! "No hold o-" they hung up, while you looked down at the phone bewildered... A Prank? they think you were pranking them?! 

Your face flushed with anger for not being believed, but what could you do? you had no proof of what you saw! with a dejected moan you went to the bathroom to take a shower and change. (and throw another pair of shorts away...) the next morning you were eating cereal and watching TV when a commercial for KFC came on; you nearly choked when you saw who was in it...

Hawks the number #2 hero and the man you saw in the park last night! thinking back you remembered whenever he was on TV he was always drinking these bottles of Pom-Wonderful...and after what you saw last night? you had a sinking suspicion that they weren't full of juice... 

Meanwhile unbeknownst to you that feather you found was still in your possession, Hawks had cleverly hid it in your hoodie pocket, before you activated your quirk. which told him exactly where you were... Said red winged  blond was currently standing outside your house with a bouquet of daffodils and Purple Hyacinth in his hands getting ready to knock.... 

(Daffodils symbolize new beginnings.)

(Purple Hyacinth symbolize forgiveness.)

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Shigaraki: He growled as he looked eyes with a nosey [y/hc] waitress her [y/ec] eyes widened on shock as she backed away from the VIP room terrified, Tomura could care less she was just another NPC; whose only use was to sate his bloodthirst, much like the one he was currently snacking on. The stupid tart actually thought he'd make her his queen! Ever since he became the top dog in Japan; greedy women like the one under him have been throwing themselves at the vampire like lambs to the slaughter. 

And every time Shigaraki sucked them dry of their blood leaving nothing behind but piles of dust when he was full, however today was different... Tomura was half way done with his dinner when he heard a crash from the bar followed by yelling, normally this wouldn't deter the vampire from his meal... but Tomura's concentration was interrupted by the most amazing scent he's ever smelled.

He pulled away from the woman he feeding on; blood dribbling down his chin, and got up from the couch hand reaching from the door, but was stopped by said NPC who grabbed his jacket "W-wait..I thou-thought..." she croaked weakly the vampire hissed at her and used his quirk leaving nothing but a dust pile behind.

Tomura looked through the VIP room's door to see the same waitress who was spying on him, collapsed on the surrounded by glass crying and holding her bleeding hand, Another waitress was checking on the [h/c] woman making weird symbols with her hands as a group of drunks were bellowing insults at the injured woman for dropping their beer, the next thing that happened no one could predict another man the manager of this club saw what going on saw the broken glass listened to the drunks sob story and turned to the injured waitress.

"Y/n, you stupid deaf bitch! look what you've done!" he snarled raising his hand the other waitress hugged the injured woman waiting fort the slap, in a flash, Shigaraki was behind the fat manager holding his arm and in seconds the man dissolved into dust causing pandemonium in the club! 

People were panicking and running away. the vampire turned his attention onto the drunks one tried punch him, but failed miserably as Tomura put a hand on the intoxicated man’s chest; the man suffered the same fate as the manager, his cowardly friends ran away as white haired vamp turned his attention back to the woman who caused his rampage only to find her gone....

*That other NPC must've taken her...* he hummed red eyes scanning the empty club before spotting something shiny on the ground a name tag... [Y/n L/n], The white haired vampire left the club just as some heroes and police swarmed into building looking for him, Shigaraki laid low for a couple days. 

During that time hiding it was maddening for Tomura he spent his time hauled up in his room dusting random objects, while obsessing over a certain [y/hc] waitress, before being told by a random underling that they found Y/n... "Bring her to me unharmed." he ordered the the underling nodded and for the first time in a long time Shigaraki felt joy.

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[bookstantrash]

“Mainly because her husband suffered from a severe disease called being a man, which caused him to turn into a baby every time his immune system underwent an attack from seasonal allergies. It was horrific. He would become a child, claiming to be dying on the sofa while stuffing his nose with tissues and downing antihistamines like candies.” — Cassian being allergic to pollen is single handed one of the best things acosf made canon

“In Cassian's defence, March had never been her favourite month, even before allergies started to play such a major role in their yearly lives. Because March had that nasty habit of bringing in the week that Nesta had been dreading like death for the past three years. Spring break.” — Oooh spring break, when the kids are home 24/7

“When she had not yet had not one, not two, but three children to care for.” — Poor Cassian being considered a child

“Sometimes Nesta wished she knew what it felt like to be a man with a cold and feel like you were standing on the edge of a cliff just because you couldn't breathe properly. At other times, she thought she knew exactly how Cassian felt when he was sick, during that long week of every month when her body rebelled against itself and her lower abdomen tore from within.” — for real, men have a tiny cold and die while we have to suffer through periods every month

“She cursed under her breath and bolted upright, slipping out of the covers and completely forgetting why she had stayed in bed so late. A rancid gag of vomit rose in her throat and she barely reached the bin under the desk they kept in the room before emptying her stomach in it.” — ugh poor nesta, I’ve bad cramps but not enough to throw up

“Nesta felt Cal's little hand pat her shoulder as he passed her to go to the bathroom.” — CUTE BABY TINY BABY

“Cal nodded and plucked off only the first bit, definitely not enough for Nesta to wipe her mouth and be content with it, but when the toddler looked at her with those big brown eyes shining with kindness, she accepted it with a silent thank you and swiped it on her chin.” — HE IS SO CUTE AHDJDJD

“And there were few things in the world that Cassian Navarro hated more than having to leave Nesta in the throes of an attack of nausea.” — HE DOES NOT WANTS TO LEAVE HER SOBBING

Cal nodded animatedly, "Dad gave us mac and cheese." — CASSIAN MAC AND CHEESE IS NOT BREAKFAST

She cast an aggravated glance at Cassian and he shrugged, looking at her as if to say "he's your son." — LMAO CASSIAN HAS A POINT

“Nesta didn’t have time to realize what was happening before she felt Cassian’s mouth on her and a blink later he was already in their bathroom, snickering to himself, victorious.” — he’s too much of a simp and I love it

“Was she crying? Or was she about to start crying? Maybe she was about to faint.” — okay this doesn’t sound like a period thing because it’s too high can she be ya know

“Baby," Cass breathed, "you need to tell me what's going on? It's the cramps, they started already?" — HE IS SUCH A PERFECT GUY REAL MEN COULD NEVER

"You need to buy a pregnancy test." — I KNEW IT

“Sweetheart," he sighed, holding her tighter as a sob broke her breath. "I can't tell if they're happy tears or not." — PLEASE I AM SOBBING TOO

Cassian's expression changed completely. He wrinkled his forehead and his lips narrowed to a thin line. "Stop saying son every time. Manifest a little, for god's sake. Say daughter." he said in an assertive voice as he pinched her side. — Give Cassian a daughter 2022, he’s a girl dad where’s his daughter

“A sound Nesta never thought she'd hear coming from her husband echoed through the room and then she was whirling through the air, Cassian's hands on her hips as he howled with joy and danced, swinging from one side of their room to the other.” — I love this trope of twirling your partner around while you cry from joy

Nesta snorted and shook her head and he, noticing her expression, scratched the back of his head, "You can never be quite sure." — he’s right, my mom’s friend got present and she bought five tests to be sure

“She threw herself at him, straddling his legs. Cassian held her in turn, leaning his head forward and resting his forehead against her chest, between her breasts.” — SOFT NESSIAN SOFT NESSIAN

He brought a hand up to her face, cupping her cheek and brushing away the remnants of tears under her eye. He pulled her to him and pressed his forehead against hers, brushing her lips as he said, "Thank you, for everything. For giving me this kind of joy every day, not just when we learn these things." a kiss, "For giving me the chance to prove to you that I am worthy of your love, through our children." another kiss, this time given to silence Nesta's words. She would have liked to tell him that he didn't have to prove anything to her, but he didn't give her the time. "Thank you for subjecting your body to this change so effortlessly every time. I will never be grateful enough for that. Never." — Ire stop being so perfect and writing the most amazing Cassian love speeches ever

Nesta brought a hand to her belly, touching for the first time the spot where her daughter - if she was going to manifest out of Cassian's happiness, she might as well do it in her thoughts as well - was growing, "Mommy's expecting a baby." — MANIFESTING A DAUGHTER YES KEEP THAT IN MIND

“And as she lived that moment, Nesta felt like she was reborn once again, with her family’s company and love.” — I love this fic so much I love Nessian as parents and I love their kids

Thank You

Nesta Archeron x Cassian modern au

Set in The Seven Of Us au (masterlist here)

A/N: I know it's been like a long L O N G time since I last wrote these little fuckers and I'd missed them so freaking much I swear I wanted to punch the wall whenever I had the inspiration and didn't write. Anyway, this is for my sweet and loving friend @perseusannabeth, if you didn't get it yet, this is a period fic - like, ofc it is. Special mention goes to @duskandstarlight for actually giving me the idea.

Ezra is 7, Cal is 2, Dara (briefly mentioned) is 6. The others aren't born yet:)

Enjoy!!

Word count: 4,428

The winter cold was finally giving way to the chilly air of spring, carrying with it birdsong and longer days as the first flowers began to bloom, on the trees and in the meadows, making everything so stunningly colorful. Nesta usually despaired at this time of the year.

Mainly because her husband suffered from a severe disease called being a man, which caused him to turn into a baby every time his immune system underwent an attack from seasonal allergies. It was horrific. He would become a child, claiming to be dying on the sofa while stuffing his nose with tissues and downing antihistamines like candies.

Nesta loved her husband with every fiber of her being. And there had been a time, many years before, when she had even loved taking care of him during those long weeks when his body seemed to turn against him. But now, after more than ten years of it, she just wanted him to put on his big boy pants and stop whining for a moment.

In Cassian's defence, March had never been her favourite month, even before allergies started to play such a major role in their yearly lives. Because March had that nasty habit of bringing in the week that Nesta had been dreading like death for the past three years. Spring break.

When she was a child, Nesta used to love spring break. She had waited every year for that short holiday to spend time with her family, when she had no homework to do and no worries in the world. When she had still been too young to have real duties to attend to.

When she had not yet had not one, not two, but three children to care for.

She knew that referring to her husband as a third son wasn't exactly accurate, especially at this moment, but there had been more than one occasion in the last month where Cassian had laid down next to Ezra and Cal on the couch and let her serve him mac and cheese and cherry jelly.

Sometimes Nesta wished she knew what it felt like to be a man with a cold and feel like you were standing on the edge of a cliff just because you couldn't breathe properly. At other times, she thought she knew exactly how Cassian felt when he was sick, during that long week of every month when her body rebelled against itself and her lower abdomen tore from within.

She hadn't gotten out of bed yet, but she had been awake for hours - if she had ever gone to sleep at all. The nausea that she so hated and that accompanied the first days of her period knocked her out like horse pills, but not enough to actually put her to sleep. It kept her stuck in that limbo where Nesta was terrified to move without the risk of vomiting and wanting to trash in the sheets to relieve some of the pain. But not even when Cassian had gotten up to fetch a crying Cal from the kids' room had she lifted a finger.

He'd gone back into their room to get dressed and call her, but Nesta had pretended to be asleep, hoping that if she waited a few more minutes, the nausea would go away and she could help her husband with the children. She had felt Cassian approach the bed and after a moment his lips had been on her forehead and then he had left again.

She must have managed to fall back asleep somehow, her body giving way to exhaustion, because when she awoke, the clock read eleven-thirty.

She cursed under her breath and bolted upright, slipping out of the covers and completely forgetting why she had stayed in bed so late. A rancid gag of vomit rose in her throat and she barely reached the bin under the desk they kept in the room before emptying her stomach in it.

Cassian walked in at that very moment, a basket of clean clothes balanced on his hip, while holding Cal to his waist with the other arm. As soon as he saw her kneeling on the floor, he threw the laundry on the bed and adjusted his son better in his arms.

"Is it time already?" sighed Cassian, crouching down beside her and placing a hand on her back.

Nesta nodded, closing her eyes and resting her forehead against the edge of the bin. She heard Cal mutter something but she was trying desperately not to vomit again in front of her son to understand what he had said.

"Yeah kiddo, how about you go to the bathroom and get some toilet paper for mommy, hmm? Can you do me this favor, please?" Cassian was saying, still massaging her lower back.

Nesta felt Cal's little hand pat her shoulder as he passed her to go to the bathroom.

"Don’t wowwymommy, I ring you paper." tried to say Cal.

Cassian thanked him and then leaned over to her, he slid his hand in her hair, tenderly pulling her head to his mouth and brushing his lips over her temple. "Do you need me to go buy you something for the cramps?"

She spat into the bin, grimacing and shook her head, "Don't worry, it's just nausea for now."

Something obscured the light from behind her and when she turned to see what it was, she found Cal holding the first piece of paper from the roll. She tilted her head to the side and snorted, seeing the rest of the roll pulled behind him, still attached to the one in the bathroom.

Cassian laughed beside her.

"Cal, you need to rip the paper off," he told him, crawling onto his knees to stand face to face with him. He gently took the paper from Cal's hands and tore off a piece, "Like this, see?"

Cal nodded and plucked off only the first bit, definitely not enough for Nesta to wipe her mouth and be content with it, but when the toddler looked at her with those big brown eyes shining with kindness, she accepted it with a silent thank you and swiped it on her chin.

"Daddy!" they heard someone shout from downstairs. Ezra. "Where are you?"

Cassian breathed out through his nose, and someone who didn't know him might have thought he was annoyed by the way their eldest son was calling out to him, but Nesta knew it was because now he'd have to get up and go see what he'd done, leaving her alone.

And there were few things in the world that Cassian Navarro hated more than having to leave Nesta in the throes of an attack of nausea.

"Go see what he wants," Nesta muttered, trying to ward off the feeling of vomit that was rising in her throat once again. "It won't make any difference whether you're here next to me or downstairs."

Cassian sighed one more time and pulled himself to his feet, but didn't move to leave the room.

Nesta looked up at him, offering him a weak smile of comfort.

"I'm serious, Cass, I'm fine," she reassured him. Then she turned to Cal and sat back down on her butt, pulling the baby onto her lap and letting the little one wrap his arms around her. "Go to Ezra."

Cassian ran a hand through his hair and, grunting an "I'll be right back", ran out of the room, calling for Ezra.

Nesta looked down at that point, feeling Cal tugging at a strand of her hair.

"Hello, dear, have you had breakfast yet?" she asked, slightly regretting asking anything food related.

Cal nodded animatedly, "Dad gave us mac and cheese."

Nesta's eyes widened and she looked towards the door, as if her husband was standing there, ready to take the scolding he was due. When she turned back to Cal, she made a falsely stern face, "You can't have pasta for breakfast, I've told you that many many times before."

Cal pouted and bowed his head, "It's dad."

Nesta put his hands on his back, trying to comfort him, "Don't worry, I'll tell dad too, but pasta isn't something you should be eating in the morning."

Cal jerked up from her lap and nearly slammed his knee into her face. He began to jump around the room, humming a sentence. "Gimme ma water." he was saying on repeat.

Nesta huffed and slowly stood up, feeling that somehow the nausea was already subsiding.

Cassian appeared in the hallway at the top of the stairs and Nesta gave him a murderous look.

"Mac and cheese, Cass? Really?" she said, crossing her arms over her chest. She noticed Ezra was following him with his nose buried inside the pages of a comic book and he almost tripped on the last step. Nesta was about to bark at him to be careful, jerking forward, but it was too late. He fell onto his knees with a loud thud and Cassian sprinted back to him, laughing and pulling him up when the boy seemed to have no intention of getting up on his own, but continuing to read undisturbed, as if he hadn't just fallen face first onto the floor.

"Love, could you please be more careful when you read?" asked Nesta with an exasperated sigh. "Or not read at all when you walk."

Ezra looked up from the comic book for a moment, only then noticing the presence of other people, as if confused by what was around him. He didn't spare them a word and went back to reading, walking over to the bed and climbing into the covers.

Nesta shook her head as she watched him crawl between the sheets and settle against the headboard.

She cast an aggravated glance at Cassian and he shrugged, looking at her as if to say "he's your son."

"Me too!" shrieked Cal, reaching out to her and pointing to the bed. Nesta pulled him up and gently laid him on the mattress. The boy flung himself at his brother and when he sat down next to him, Ezra placed the book on his lap and began to read aloud.

At the sight of that perfect picture, Nesta smiled, bringing a hand to her chest.

She loved her children as she had never loved anyone in her life.

An arm wrapped around her hips and then the smell of her husband and his warmth enveloped her. She closed her eyes, giving in to the contact and letting Cassian pull her against him.

His voice was low and mildly concerned as he whispered into her hair, "I think I should go buy some stuff before the pains get worse."

Nesta grimaced, "I don't feel like it this month."

Cassian's chuckle rumbled through her body. A moment later, he was kissing her head lovingly as he pulled her impossibly closer to him. "You don't feel like it every month, sweetheart. And understandably so."

"This is bullshit." she whispered, hoping her sons hadn’t heard her.

Another kiss, this time to her forehead, "I’m sorry, Nes. I wish I could do more."

"I know."

She twisted in his arms and looked up at him. He was smiling sadly at her, and when his hand came up to push her hair out of her eyes, she shook her head in disbelief. It was unreal that after so many years of marriage and parenting she still couldn’t believe he was all hers.

And she was all his.

"I should get going," he murmured, tilting his head down and brushing the tip of her nose with his own. Before he could lean down even more to kiss her lips, she placed a hand on his mouth.

"No kisses," she said hastily, "I literally just threw up."

Amusement sparked in his eyes, and when she lowered her hand, his lips had bent in a lovely pout.

"Nope," Nesta shook her head, "don’t even think about it. You’re disguting."

He barked out a laugh at that, making Cal and Ezra jump from their seat.

Still keeping his arms wrapped around her waist, he turned to their sons. "Will you look after mom while I’m away? Dad’s gotta go buy some things for her."

Ezra looked at them then and Nesta saw the way Cassian’s entire demeanor changed at that simple gesture. He seemed so relaxed during these family days.

Cal was nodding his head frantically and Ezra gave him the thumbs up before getting back to his comic.

Nesta didn’t have time to realize what was happening before she felt Cassian’s mouth on her and a blink later he was already in their bathroom, snickering to himself, victorious.

She cursed him for being so touch-starved that he couldn’t even keep his needs at bay even when tasted of vomit and then gave her full attention to the boys. "So," she propped her hands on her hips, "who wants to braid mom’s hair?"

***

The thought had caught her by surprise.

Ezra had been in the middle of braiding the third strand on her left side while Cal had been pretending to do the same thing on her right side, only knotting her hair, but it had scared the hell out of both of them when she'd pulled herself up and gasped as if someone had punched her in the gut. Cal had been so startled that he'd burst into tears and Ezra had laughed hysterically.

Cassian had been out for less than ten minutes and must have arrived at the pharmacy by then. She didn't think half a second before jumping out of bed and calling him on the phone, hoping with all her might that he hadn't left the place yet.

Not even two rings later he answered.

"Hey, love, I just got in. What did you forget to tell me to get?" he asked chuckling, greeting someone who had just passed him in the background.

In an instant, it was as if every word in her vocabulary was unfamiliar to her and she didn't know how to line them up to form complete, meaningful sentences. She looked out the window and then at the bed, not really seeing anything, only rather blurryly.

Was she crying? Or was she about to start crying? Maybe she was about to faint.

"Nesta? What is it?" the concern in his voice was palpable now. Obviously he would have known something was amiss even without the need to see her in the face.

"I- I think, Cassian..." she took a deep breath and opened her eyes wide. She cursed.

Cal gasped and pointed at her, "Bad word!"

Nesta ran a hand over her face and pulled the phone away from her ear, "Ezra, take your brother to your room, please. And stay there until I tell you so."

She immediately felt guilty for the tone of voice and the words she had used, but in that moment it was as if the whole world was closing in around her.

"Nesta, you're scaring me, are you okay? What happened?"

His question was met with only silence.

"I'm on my way home. I'm trying to be as quick as possible-"

"No," she stopped him, feeling a moment later that Cassian had stopped moving. "No, wait." she repeated more slowly.

"Baby," Cass breathed, "you need to tell me what's going on? It's the cramps, they started already?"

Nesta grunted, starting to tap her foot on the floor and then, not feeling it was enough to relieve the anxiety that was starting to eat her alive, she took to pacing back and forth across the room.

"You have to-" she began, only to be cut off by a gag so strong that her breath caught in her throat. She launched herself towards the bathroom and fell to her knees in front of the toilet before throwing up what few crackers she had managed to get down before Cassian left the house.

"Nesta!" she heard her husband's voice through the phone speaker and returned it to her ear, breathing through her nose.

"You need to buy a pregnancy test."

***

She heard the front door open and then Cassian running up the stairs. A moment later the door to their room was thrown open and slammed against the wall with a loud bang. Their kids down the hall cried out, before laughing and going back to whatever game they'd chosen to distract themselves with.

Nesta didn't really care in that moment, cause the second their eyes met, she burst into tears.

Cassian crossed the room with two large strides, leaving the bags full of things she probably wouldn't need for the next nine months on the bed and took her in his arms. Nesta's went to wrap themselves around his neck, while Cassian hid his face in her neck and breathed deeply.

"Sweetheart," he sighed, holding her tighter as a sob broke her breath. "I can't tell if they're happy tears or not."

Nesta grinned in his ear and felt Cassian shudder against her.

"I don't know either," she answered truthfully.

Cassian pulled away from her enough to see her face and Nesta was not at all surprised to see that his eyes glistened with unshed tears. His chin trembled and a beaming smile spread across his lips before an incredulous laugh escaped his control.

"Fuck," he whispered. He closed his eyes for a second only to open them again immediately, as if he couldn't take his eyes off of her.

Nesta slid a hand down his chest, over his heart, and the strong, steady beat she found gave her the strength to speak. "Before we cry like babies, perhaps we should make sure we're really expecting another son."

Cassian's expression changed completely. He wrinkled his forehead and his lips narrowed to a thin line. "Stop saying son every time. Manifest a little, for god's sake. Say daughter." he said in an assertive voice as he pinched her side.

Nesta squealed and jumped to the side, holding her hands on his shoulders to keep steady and opening her mouth wide, "You brute. I might be carrying your daughter," she said slowly, trailing off the syllables and offering him a sneering smile, "in here."

A sound Nesta never thought she'd hear coming from her husband echoed through the room and then she was whirling through the air, Cassian's hands on her hips as he howled with joy and danced, swinging from one side of their room to the other.

She laughed with him until he halted and slid her onto his chest and they were at the same height. Nesta laced her legs around his hips and, framing his face with her hands, whispered half an inch from his face, "I brushed my teeth."

"Thank god," he replied. A moment later their mouths collided and Cassian's hands slid under her pajama shirt, touching the bare skin of her back. Shivers covered her body.

Nesta licked his upper lip and Cassian slid his tongue out to meet hers, but when she began to move her hips against his, Cassian pulled away so fast that Nesta got whiplash.

"No," he said in a strained voice and closed eyes. "We need to check that we're having a baby, not make one."

Nesta burst out laughing, throwing her head back and Cassian let her drop to the floor, holding her up with one hand around her back until she was able to stand on her own. Then he turned away to go rummage through one of the two bags and pulled out five pregnancy tests.

Nesta snorted and shook her head and he, noticing her expression, scratched the back of his head, "You can never be quite sure."

About ten minutes later they were both sitting on the bathroom floor, the five tests displayed on the carpet in front of them. Cassian was squeezing her hand so hard that Nesta had to remind him three times how much weaker in comparison to him she was. He'd joked about when he had to be the one enduring that kind of squeeze in the delivery room and she'd punched him in the shoulder.

The rest of the time they spent in silence. There was no need for words. There was no need for confirmation, no need to ask the other if they were sure. After Ezra was born, there was no longer any doubt about their wishes as parents.

When the timer on his phone struck five minutes, they looked at each other and then with a nod of their heads, lowered their gaze to the floor.

Each test marked two lines, or a black writing that seemed to smile at them: positive.

Cassian brought Nesta's hand to his mouth and kissed her fingers, holding back a sob, but when she turned to him, she saw his cheeks wet with tears and couldn't help herself.

She threw herself at him, straddling his legs. Cassian held her in turn, leaning his head forward and resting his forehead against her chest, between her breasts.

They gave each other some time to process, each in the other's arms, happy to just be there, until Cassian whispered something.

Nesta hadn't heard him, his voice muffled by her pajamas, and when he gave no sign of repeating himself, she broke away slightly, putting her hands on his cheeks and pulling him up, forcing him to meet her gaze. His eyes were red and simply full of love when he whispered, "Thank you."

Nesta would have liked to reply, but did not know how.

He brought a hand up to her face, cupping her cheek and brushing away the remnants of tears under her eye. He pulled her to him and pressed his forehead against hers, brushing her lips as he said, "Thank you, for everything. For giving me this kind of joy every day, not just when we learn these things." a kiss, "For giving me the chance to prove to you that I am worthy of your love, through our children." another kiss, this time given to silence Nesta's words. She would have liked to tell him that he didn't have to prove anything to her, but he didn't give her the time. "Thank you for subjecting your body to this change so effortlessly every time. I will never be grateful enough for that. Never."

Now, Nesta was crying for a whole other reason than the life that was growing inside her.

Cassian closed his eyes, "I love you." one last kiss, this time given with more passion as they both tried desperately to convey everything they felt through that gesture. "So much." he concluded once they broke away in search of air.

Nesta opened her mouth to tell him as much, but the sound of small feet running down the corridor to their room stopped her. She tried to wipe the tears from her face, not wanting to frighten her children any further, but Cassian did nothing to wipe the traces of tears from his cheeks.

When Ezra and Cal's little heads appeared behind the bathroom door, Cassian extended a large hand toward them.

"Come here, my babies," his voice was much hoarser than usual and he had to clear his throat before giving them a warm and welcoming smile. Cal and Ezra grabbed a finger each and then Cass pulled the children towards them. Nesta shifted back slightly on his legs, leaving a little space between them so that their sons could sit on their father as well, but when she looked at them, they both seemed hesitant.

Ezra's brow furrowed, "Why are you crying?"

His dad took a deep breath, looked at Nesta, who gave him a nod of assent, and then spoke.

"Do you remember about three years ago, when mom and I came to get you from Auntie Amren and Uncle Varian's, and dad was crying?" he asked as if he was telling a story. Cal had moved closer in the meantime, and as if he'd forgotten why he'd waited to sit on Cassian's lap, he slid in between her and his father, resting his head against his chest.

Ezra nodded, and then shook his head, puzzled.

Nesta chuckled, "It's not important, love," she reassured him. "Dad's trying to say he's very very happy."

Her eldest son looked at her and grimaced, trying to make his way through that mishmash of bodies to have a sit somewhere in there too, "And why is he crying if he's happy?"

"No cry." whispered Cal, hugging Cassian, who in turn put a hand on his back, moving it up and down in a reassuring way.

"Because sometimes people, when they feel very strong emotions, need to externalize them somehow and one of the healthiest ways is to cry." explained Nesta, "Aunt Emerie for example shouts with joy, do you remember when you won the last game of the championship and Dara scored the last goal?"

Ezra nodded, smiling, "Aunt Mor screamed louder though."

Cassian chuckled, "You're right."

"Well, we, me and Dad, have just discovered something beautiful." said Nesta, looking his sons in the eye, capturing their fullest attention.

"What?" asked Cal softly.

Nesta brought a hand to her belly, touching for the first time the spot where her daughter - if she was going to manifest out of Cassian's happiness, she might as well do it in her thoughts as well - was growing, "Mommy's expecting a baby."

Ezra's eyes went wide, bringing a hand to his mouth.

Cal only looked more confused.

Cassian took him from under his arms and set him upright on his thigh, "Cal, you're going to be a big brother. You're going to have a little sister."

"A little sister?" whispered Ezra.

Nesta nodded, smiling sweetly at him and stroking his face, "Let's hope it's a girl this time, yes. Would you like that?"

His son moved his head imperceptibly and then his eyes filled with tears and his lower lip popped out. Nesta let go of a wet laugh and took him into his arms, "Love, come here."

Over Ezra's shoulder, she looked Cassian in the eye and smiled.

"I love you," she mouthed to him, kissing Ezra’s cheek to let him know everything was okay. Cassian only mouthed it back to her as he held his youngest – not for much longer – son.

And as she lived that moment, Nesta felt like she was reborn once again, with her family’s company and love.

A/N: guess it wasn't a period fic after all, but I couldn't help myself;)

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[landcruising]

In memory of Jonghae I was giving up. I didn’t want to do this anymore. My clothes were soaked with sweat, my legs and arms covered in scratches from overgrowth taller than I was. For hours I had been wrestling my way through thick vegetation that didn’t allow me to see anything around me, not even my partner Coen, who was walking only a couple of meters in front of me.

I felt the exhaustion wearing me out and the sense of insecurity that I had kept at bay for so many days recurring in full force.

“See! You are too weak, you can’t do this! What made you think you could hike 465 miles in the mountains? Much shorter hikes in Pakistan’s Himalayas and Patagonia’s Andes did you in. Don’t you know by now your body is not up to this?”

Hiking the Baekdu-daegan Mountain Ridge

I had been set on hiking the 465-mile Baekdu Daegan Mountain Ridge in South Korea the moment I read about it. I was enticed by images of vast mountain regions covered in forests and home to colorful Buddhist temples, mountain shrines, landmarks from ancient civilizations and monuments honoring the Korean War. Coen had expressed his doubts.

“Will you be able to manage this?”

I was suffering from a constantly recurring anaemia as well as endometriosis. The latter causes, among other things, sudden cramps that make me stop in my tracks while trying to keep breathing, and a constant sense of feeling tired or exhausted.

However, I had wanted to do this hike and convinced Coen to give it a try. Now I was giving up and a feeling of defeat was crushing me. When vegetation made way for forest we sat down in the shade, ate a handful of nuts and discussed our options. I wanted to quit. Coen wanted to continue. I suggested to stop for now and return in a couple of weeks, when the heat wave would be over. Since the temperatures were getting to Coen as well, a period of rest sounded reasonable.

Meeting Jonghae

Frankly, I had little confidence that I was going to be up to the rest of the hike but didn’t express those doubts. I didn’t have to take that decision now. We hiked down the mountains and hitchhiked back to where our car was parked. We visited a public bath for a major body scrub, took a rest, and made our way north to Seoul to see some friends.

On the way we stopped at the entrance of Odaesan National Park to visit its famous Woljeongsa Temple. Next to us in the parking lot was another car. A man stepped out and introduced himself. Jonghae was smitten with our road journey of more than twelve years in Asia and South America and invited us to lunch.

“You have to eat mountain vegetables here. I know the best place in the area. But first I have to walk. I walk every day.”

We learned he had an advanced stage of cancer and regularly underwent chemotherapy. He had gained weight, his shoulder-length hair was very thin, and he had trouble finding the right words in English – all results of the treatment, he explained.

Jonghae’s Travels

As we squatted around a low table in a restaurant and savored a mountain-vegetable jeonshik – a type of set-meal with a bowl of rice and all kinds of tiny dishes of vegetables, tofu, mushrooms that will be topped up as often as you like – he shared his passion for hiking and traveling. Despite his illness he had traveled the Karakorum Highway in Pakistan the previous year and he wanted to drive the Pan-American Highway from Canada down to Argentina.

“But that will be too much now,” he sighed. “Maybe I will return to Pakistan instead and visit Skardu instead.”

We told him about our attempt to hike the Baekdu Daegan and I expressed my doubts, about the heat and the exhaustion. He, on the other hand, immediately became enthusiastic.

“Oh yes, you have to hike the entire stretch. Of course you can do it. You will love it and meet great people.”

He had hiked the ‘White Mountain Ridge Trail’, as Baekdu Daegan translates, three times. Even now, sick as he was, he hiked every day.

“It is what keeps me alive,” he commented.

The doctors confirmed this was most likely helping him to fight his cancer and deal with chemotherapy.

Jonghae and the Baekdu Daegan

But Jonghae’s ambitions had gone beyond his own hiking adventures. He wants city kids to connect with nature and get to know their own country. In 2005 he set up a program at the Middle School where he worked in Seoul. Children around fourteen years old, plus their parents or siblings if they want, hike the trail two days a month, so it takes them one and a half years to complete the Baekdu Daegan.

Jonghae’s enthusiasm stirred a new energy in me too. Maybe I needed more willpower? Maybe I expected to fail and gave up too quickly? And if 14-year-olds could do this, shouldn’t I be able to do it? I felt the fire returning in me. Maybe if we walked the trail in shorter sections, took more breaks… I started making new plans already.

Back on the Trail

Five weeks later, with the intense summer heat gone, we were back on the trail. It was an experience never to be forgotten. Oh yes, I struggled and cried and yelled I was going to throw the towel in once more. But then I would think of Jonghae and the kids and push on.

Magic – You just feel it when around Korea’s intriguing, ancient yew trees.

Magic – Because you’re on the top of the world!

View from Haneul-jae (3rd gate).

A sansin-gak; a shrine for the Mountain Spirit.

A moment of magic indeed.

Magic – When you have reached the top of a mountain.

For a large part I loved the rhythm of hiking, and felt deeply privileged and blessed to be doing this. During weekends South Koreans are out in the mountains in large numbers and we met many. They have a culture of sharing: a candy, an egg, a sip of soju and sometimes we would sit together for a short break or a meal.

People who live along the trail invited us to stay at their place, offered a meal or stuffed our backpacks with cucumbers, bell peppers or apples – whatever happened to be harvested. These were all moments to feel invigorated again, to bring a smile to a body that was hurting, to have confidence again, to feel a sense of kindred spirits.

I felt a deep appreciation for Korean culture and people and we learned much from their generosity, hospitality, smiles and willingness to help. In fact, hiking the Baekdu Daegan is a perfect introduction to South Korea’s culture.

It took us forty-seven days of hiking to reach the finish. To arrive at that last stele with ‘Baekdu Daegan’ depicted in Korean characters, of which there are dozens along the trail, was a bit of an anticlimax. Suddenly the hike was over.

The Finish?

Or so we thought. That evening we received a message.

“Are you still in Sokcho? Don’t leave! I will meet you there tomorrow. The kids are completing the 11th Baekdu-daegan hike. It would be great to see you both again. I will meet you there because I first have to go for my morning hike. Jonghae.”

He had given up his presidency of the organization a few years earlier because he got cancer but he was staying involved as much as possible. For the first time in three years he was able to hike a section of the final day.

We applauded the kids as they stepped out of the forest onto the pavement, and walked the last meters to the monument that signifies the end of the Baekdu Daegan in South Korea (the trail continues into North Korea but is off-limits). Jonghae took pictures of them all.

A group of 45 students and 45 family members had completed the hike, the youngest being 10 and the oldest 75. As the group offered food and water to the mountain spirits we joined them in prayer to thank the mountain spirits for a safe return. Contrary to our finish the day before, this ceremony felt like a fitting closure of our adventure and I was thankful to Jonghae for making us part of the experience.

Before his ‘breath was to become air,’ as Jonghae to eloquently phrased his dying, we visited him in the hospice near Seoul Optimistic as ever he chatted about having plans to return to Pakistan and China, albeit in a wheelchair because the cancer had paralyzed him. His joy for life and his faith in being able to travel again was so intense that his passing two weeks later, September 26, caught us off guard.

We will miss him.

Of course you can hike a 465-mile mountain trail! In memory of Jonghae I was giving up. I didn’t want to do this anymore. My clothes were soaked with sweat, my legs and arms covered in scratches from overgrowth taller than I was.