#this makes me want more people on vip or like instead of an interview format they make them do this shit its really fun

[crunchycrystals]

only complaint is that they didnt meet eric bc i think that wouldve been fun even if hes kind of out of the friend group and also bc we didnt see ally's billboard but overall funny s hell i love this

[therucrap]

RPDR 13 Episode 1 RuCrap

Hello dear internet! I just started a new page for my first ever RPDR RuCrap so please share and follow and I’ll continue if they catch on! Hope you enjoy!

The lucky 13th season of RuPaul’s Trauma Spectacular launches with the promise of “all new surprises” and a brand new twist that will leave you wondering how you ever sat through a boring old premiere with a coherent intro, climax, and conclusion when you could be enduring a dizzying hour and a half of WOW presents Happy Death Day 3: Covid Edition!

We open up on the trusty trauma center - I mean Werk Room - and the first to enter is NYC’s “Dominican Doll” and human drag lingo See ‘N Say Kandy Muse in an elaborate bejeweled patchwork jean mini dress and MATCHING DENIM BOOMBOX and she immediately informs us that we may know her from the now former Haus of Aja which was recently deconstructed like the pair of Wranglers that Kandy is wearing as fingerless gloves. Kandy is no longer alone in VIP because the befeathered Joey Jay arrives and half-heartedly delivers her intro line. “Filler queen!” We discover that Kandy is likely going to provide our Greek chorus confessional this season and all in a soft smoky eye when she informs us uncultured swine that Joey is wearing the cheapest variety of feather - chicken. Kandy didn’t construct an entire outfit from the remnants section of a Joanne Fabrics and not learn a thing or two about quality, sweetie! Joey is determined to beat viewers to the punchline and immediately clucks around branding herself as “basic” and “filler.” Joey is from the city of Phoenix (and possibly the online University as well) but she’s here to rise like a chicken!

Thunder mysteriously rumbles as RuPaul appears on the digitally enhanced Werk room TV but what could this be?! For all you newbies this is one of the several instances in every season where Ru mixes things up and gives us what we really want: a twist that is equal parts confusing, fucks up the natural order of the competition, and is ultimately unfulfilling! Come on season 13, let’s put a bunch of queer people through even more turmoil in a pandemic! Ru has a surprise but they’ll have to head to the mainstage to get the full story that they’ll be recounting to a mental health professional later!

We’re merely four minutes in and here comes Ru down the runway dressed like a glitterdot jellyfish! Our tour guide on Trauma Island introduces us to the main panel of judges for the season - Disco Morticia Addams and the two human Trapper Keepers who are now separated by glass because for the first time in Drag Race herstory we’re in the middle of a international health crisis, mawma!

Now let’s get down to trauma! Ru explains that the queens will be pairing off to lipsync unexpectedly as they enter! What could possibly go wrong? Well if you’re hoping that someone comes in wearing blades on their feet well just stick around because I have quite the treat for you! Our Dungaree Diva and the Chicken Feather Filler hit the Mainstage looking as confused as Shangela researching CDC protocol on her way to Puerto Vallarta last week. The judges interview our test subjects and immediately bring up the Haus of Aja and Kandy clarifies that she’s now an esteemed member of The Doll Haus along with last season’s ever-gorgeous Dahlia Sinn. I personally prefer not to say that Dahlia was eliminated first but instead that she was season 12’s brocco-leading lady! (Writer’s note: if you’re thinking “there’s a drag show called The Doll Haus in my hometown... is it THAT Doll Haus?!” No, there’s a drag show called The Doll Haus in almost every city in America but now, like with the former Sharon Needles, Kim Chis, and Penny Trations of the world, this one’s been on TV and alas, the others must now rename themselves)! Joey also charms the judges with her plucky demeanor and it’s already time to lipsync feather they like it or not!

Gay anthem Call Me Maybe by Canadian legend Carley Rae Jepson begins and Kandy immediately pushes a fake button on her DENIM BOOMBOX to start the party. Honestly... crown her right there on the spot. We will ALWAYS give points for prop work and the Carrot Top of the Bronx does not disappoint. Both are energetic but it’s The Dutchess of Denim who wins by infusing humor and our feathered friend is given “the Porkchop” but before we can even wrap our head around what this means for the state of the competition we snap back to the Werk Room to meet our next unsuspecting victims!

Now dear reader, this is the part where I’m just going to cut the shit. The set-up they’re selling us is that the losers of these premiere lipsyncs will be eliminated from the show but they are obviously not about to Porkchop half of the cast on day one so just stick with me while we suspend disbelief and go on RuPaul’s Totally Twisted Trauma Adventure as she convinces 6 gay people who just spent upwards of $10,000 on clothing, jewelry, and hair and then meticulously packed it into regulation suitcases to travel here during a pandemic after probably not making any money for the last four months (this was filmed in July) that they are going home on day one! This herstory-making twist, like so many before it, exemplifies the show’s worst qualities: a lack of empathy for its contestants, an underestimation of viewer intelligence and ability to decode heavy-handed editing witchery, and its love for completely dismantling its own format every year for the sake of drama. Whatever keeps the Emmy’s coming, baby! When you’re on the other side of one of these twists you usually feel like you just finished your morning coffee only to find out that the barista gave you decaf. Your mind will be blown when it’s happening but the payoff is usually at the expense of the show’s own legitimacy. With that said... this is the punishment we come to gleefully endure every year and we’re not here to complain, we’re here to watch gay people break down, dammit!

It’s deja Ru all over again as we snap back to the Werk Room where Chicago’s Denali walks in on ice skates and immediately ruins any chance of a deposit return for the bumpy, rented roll-out vinyl floors and declares “Let me break the ice!” She’s wearing the expensive feathers that Joey Jay didn’t spring for. Denali might not be the first ice skater on Drag Race but she’s the one I didn’t watch shit on a dick on Twitter last week so let’s give credit where it’s due. Ugh I wish Trinity the Tuck could block THAT from my memory! Next up is Atlanta’s Lala Ri whose white blazer, body suit, and unteased hair is immediately called basic by an icy Denali in confessional. Denali is confident but we know something that she doesn’t and Lala is wearing a sensible dancing ankle boot not two blades on her feet so let’s see how this turns out!

The lipsync song is “When I Grow Up” by Nicole Scherzinger and her assistants who were accidentally given microphones a few times! Denali struggles to conceal her wayward nipples during some ambitious dance moves and all while in skates but Lala gives us a good old fashioned drag performance and a big finale split unbothered by an elaborate costume and ultimately ices Denali who signs off with “Feeling icy, feeling spicy!” Asking these queens to lipsync upon entering is one thing but asking them to improvise their exit lines 10 minutes in is just cruel!

Denali heads backstage devastated where SURPRISE... Joey Jay is sitting alone in a sad room made of plywood walls featuring a bunch of pictures of first eliminated queens, an ominous “Porkchop Loading Dock” sign, and some cocktail tables with no cocktails (how dreadful).

Before we get the full picture and God for bid our bearings on Mr Charles’ Wild Ride let’s leave this plywood hellscape and jump back into the familiar comfort of the Werk Room’s pixelated neon pink faux brick walls where LA’s modelesque Symone stomps in wearing a dress made of tiny Polaroids of herself. She’s stylish, her energy is fresh, and she’s clearly one to watch. Then dear reader life as we know it changes. A breeze comes through the room and God herself blesses us when living legend and matriarch of the Iman dynasty Tamisha Iman from Atlanta arrives in a pointy-shouldered red power suit and proclaims to us simple townsfolk “Holler at me, I know you know me. Holler at me, I know you know me. Tamisha is here!” The sea parts, the crops are replenished, and all war stops on Earth. On stage Tamisha reveals that she’s been doing drag for 30 years (which seems like a long time to us mere mortals) and that she was originally cast last season but was diagnosed with colon cancer two days later and had to stay home for chemo. The lipsync gods wisely choose The Pleasure Principle by Janet Jackson and Tamisha gives us exact Janet arm choreo while Simone is sultry yet commanding as she shakes her Polaroids. The judges determine that Simone was picture perfect and American hero Tamisha Iman is sent to Porkchop’s Shipping Crate of Horrors to join the nest with the fancy feather option and the chicken feather option.

We begrudgingly crawl back onto RuPaul’s ever-circling carousel of doom and plop back into the workroom where accomplished LA celebrity makeup artist GottMik stomps in wearing a wacky toile dress and a full face of white makeup declaring that it’s “Time to crash the system!” GottMik is Drag Race’s first trans man contestant (and first knowingly cast trans contestant at all) for which we cheer excitedly and then immediately look at our watches because that took too long. Next up Minneapolis’s towering Utica wriggles in with a sneeze and declares “She’s sickening!” which is just the pandemic humor I came here for! Contaminate me, mom! This gay scarecrow is wearing a series of crazy patterns and a big strawberry on her head and the two of them appear to be from the same traveling circus. These two Big Comfy Couch characters slink over to the main stage where Utica explains that her cranial statement fruit symbolizes tackling obstacles because she used to be allergic to strawberries as a kid but she grew out of it. In RuPaul’s heavy universe of heart wrenching struggles that contain chronic illness and societal rejection, Utica’s animated world that suffers only of outgrown childhood strawberry problems is a welcome one. These two lanky rag dolls will be lipsyncing to Rumors by her majesty Lady Lohan of Mykonos and the vibe is instantly wacky. I wouldn’t say that either of them are the next Kennedy Davenport but they did complement each other well on the invisible obstacle course they were both miming through. Utica’s hair flops over her eye, there’s galloping and floor humping, GottMik does a split, there’s elbows and knees aplenty, and all that’s missing is dancing poodles. The judges are tickled by the kookiness of both of these human windsocks but Gotmikk snatches the win. Neither of these two are going to win So You Think You Can Dance but luckily this is RuPaul’s So You Think You Can Trauma so we’re in luck!

Our homosexual Groundhog Day continues back in the Werk Room where we meet NYC’s Rosé who gets the Brita treatment where she’s presented as a legendary New York queen and then the editors quickly get to work making her look delusional. She’s accomplished, confident, and Drag Race’s favorite personality type to dismantle and then trick into returning to All-Stars for a redemption only to dismantle again. Rosé’s fresh-faced foil Olivia Lux enters and lights up the place right away in a velvet pink and yellow gown. She’s a humble NYC newby who has competed in shows hosted by the established Rosé and we already know what’s about to happen here. The lipsync is Exes and Oh’s by Elle King which which was a choice. Olivia strips off her gown to reveal a bodysuit so she can really articulate and Rosé does the world’s least exciting split that looked like me trying unsuccessfully separate wooden chopsticks. Olivia triumphs and Rosé fizzles as she heads to the It Didn’t Werk Room aka Porkchop’s sparsely decorated storage closet to be with the other Have Nots.

We’re almost to the finish line and we limp, slightly disoriented, back to the Werk Room where we meet Tina Burner, another NYC theater kid with the confidence of a thousand Patti LuPones who is dressed like a Ronald McDonald firefighter. What she lacks in nuance she makes up for in nonstop fire puns. Next Chicago’s glamorous Kahmora Hall saunters in glowing and is clearly unimpressed with Tina’s constant Joan Rivers impression but maintains a full pageant smile. No choice but to stan. Our final queen is the refreshingly optimistic Elliott with 2 T’s who busts in wearing a bolero jacket, some red pants from the store, and a short pink wig that screams “Sorry I’m late! Here’s my flash drive! I can go on whenever!” Elliott dances in sing-talking her entrance line like the TGIFriday’s server she is: “I’m the queen you want to see. Elliot with two T’s. Okay! Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh! Okay!” Elliot is a dancer from Las Vegas and has the unhinged camp counselor energy of someone with snacks in her purse at all times.

On the Mainstage Tina cycles through the last of her introductory fire puns and tells the judges she was in a boy band which honestly tracks. Tina and Rosé share a similar NYC gotta-get-a-gimmick energy but for some reason production has decided to give Rosé the womp womp edit and Tina the superstar edit. The song is Lady Marmalade because we haven’t been though enough and Kahmora serves subdued sexy glamour, Elliott does the splits, and Tina bobs and weaves between the two with full play-to-the-back-row comedy queen energy. Tina extinguishes the dreams of the other two and RuPaul sends the final two losers to the chokey.

The worst is over (we think) and our frazzled cast of hopefuls finally gets to know eachother in their two very different groups. The winning queens in the Werk Room are celebrating and as blissfully unaware of the doom around them as Miss Vanjie and Silky Ganache at a Puerto Vallarta circuit party during a pandemic. Over in Porkchop’s Junk Drawer the camera looms unnecessarily close to the crestfallen losers’ now disheveled wigs and sweat drenched makeup. Ru’s voice bellows over the speaker to tell this motley crew to get out and then as the last bit of light leaves their weary eyes she checks back in to tell them that she wasn’t serious! Oh good! Finally a moment of mercy for these once hopeful queens on their first day of RuPaul’s Wipeout! She then reveals that the full twist is that she is only going to send one home but they have to vote amongst the group of losers to decide who it is! Yes, that’s correct! This group of broken queens who just met and mostly have never seen eachother perform will now be expected to turn on eachother and give up their last bit of dignity to either grovel or just straight up fight with eachother! This must be what the Donner Party’s last night looked like. The queens look around broken and wounded but still hungry, their eyes barely open, their lacefronts only partially attached to their heads, and start deciding which of their own is about to get consumed. Her highness Tamisha Iman reminds them "Well, I'm the only black girl so don't vote me off” and just like that we are TO BE CONTINUED!

Thus concludes our first headspinning episode that despite being reliably frustrating has once again sucked us in and against our better judgement entertained us to the fullest! As for our 13 queens- you can use code HERSTORY on Talkspace while relaying tonite’s events to a sickening liscensed therapist!

[doomedandstoned]

Ex-Gypsyhawk Axeman Captures Hot Slice of Cali’s Heavy Underground

~By Billy Goate~

Some weeks back, a package arrived at my door. The dogs freaked out (I don't get as many visits from the postman as you might think). I suspected it was vinyl, but I hadn't ordered any at the time, so this was something of a surprise. I opened it up to find a record titled, No Legacy, a compilation of Southern and Northern California metal -- Volume I, no less. Numbered 36 out of a limited run of 500. Most promos I get for review come at me digitally, which I don't mind at all, but if there's one thing you can do to get me to press pause on my busy day, it's to give me something I have to answer the door for, open up, and handle with these ol' hooves of mine. 180 gram black vinyl is what we got here, great feel to it, and when I fired up the turntable, the record sounded every bit as good as it looked.

Clearly someone had put a lot of work into this product. That someone was Erik Kluiber, known to me from Gypsyhawk fame. I met Erik four years at a bar called Black Forest in Eugene, Oregon, where I filmed the band doing a wicked set that opened, quite epically, with the theme from Game of Thrones. It'd been a while since we'd talked, so this seemed like a good time as any to track him down and find out what was up with this fascinating new project, his thoughts on the recording industry, and the meaning of metal. Stick around at the conclusion for my thoughts on the music.

An Interview With Erik Kluiber

You've been a part of the Cali scene for what seems like forever, though I know you're originally from Detroit. Now you're plugged in, play in a handful of bands, and have started a record label called No Legacy. What's the story behind this new compilation?

I moved to Los Angeles in 2009. During my time here, I've been in two signed underground rock metal bands, White Wizzard and Gypsyhawk, and now I play in Void Vator and Ironaut. I have been privileged to see what goes on inside the music scene and meet a lot of people in the industry during these years. There's still a lot of excitement surrounding the established acts within the industry. It's sex, drugs, rock and roll. Things go down for those VIP tickets and backstage passes, they're like gold. People fuck and fight for the status that comes with being associated with the big names. On the other hand, down in the club scene, it's crickets. I never saw any of those industry motherfuckers there. They all want to be seen, but I never saw them in the real scene and that's not what metal was ever about for me. I always thought metal was against phony celebrity worship bullshit.

People fuck and fight for the status...that's not what metal was ever about for me.

I'm with you there. Celebrity has a way of killing authenticity.

Club shows are my forte. Clubs are where I prefer to see bands and that's where I like to hang out. Sometimes I'm playing the shows and other times I'm just drinking, but damn-near every time I look around I think, "There should be way more fucking people here." You look back at footage of those early '80s to even the '00s club shows and they are packed beyond capacity with raging maniacs and people going ape shit. Now, it's like everyone forgot about up and coming original music and flipped over to tribute bands or just seeing Ozzfest once a year. The talent is still here in the club scene, you just gotta know who the good bands are. The sound is better now, too. Underground club sound used to be a loud mush undefined, ringing warble at 130dB. Technology keeps improving the game so fast and so cheap, it's now possible for every club to have good sound in their budget -- if they can find a decent sound engineer.

It's a shame that there isn't more attention focused on the underground bands that play the club scene now, but the industry types are all busy wheeling and dealing backstage passes for lipstick favors to next year’s Ozzfest or this year's upcoming NAMM show. So I said, "Fuck it, I'm going to make a vinyl comp album DIY style. I don't know how, but I know an artist, a mastering guy, and a shit ton of good bands. I'll put out a record that showcases the talent of these bands I know here in California, it'll be cool, people will check it out, and maybe they'll get what metal is supposed to be about again."

Photo by Jennie Ross

Are you happy with the way that vision manifested, from concept to design to production?

I wanted to make an album that people would listen to and be impressed by -- both the collectable packaging and the quality of the bands featured on the vinyl. My goal is for someone to listen to the album a few times and become a fan of a new band that they never heard before on the record. We all know how jaded we are, we all know how hard it is to impress anyone of us today. That's why I invested in the 180 gram vinyl for the best sound quality and had Michael Hateley of Lotus Mastering master the record. I wanted it to sound really good. I invested in printing the lyrics, liner notes, and photos on the record sleeve to inspire someone to feel like there is something of value and read along, like the old days. Ryan Bartlett's artwork is cool, it's a whole package, and maybe, just maybe, if we pulled out all the stops, people would be intrigued enough to give this album a chance and an honest spin. No Legacy is limited to 500 copies. 500 copies is a short run, but in today's reality, that's a lot of records for any of our bands to be on and if they all move, that's a lot of potential new sets of ears that might dig what they hear.

Whoever is in charge of modern rock radio programming needs to die, as well...

"No Legacy" -- what does that mean?

The title is called No Legacy, because this album features exclusively contemporary up-and-coming bands in the underground California heavy music scene. From my perspective, the heavy metal movement has shifted over to an unhealthy focus predominantly fixated on established legacy acts. Easily 90% of everything I read in the metal media is about bands that were popular when or before I graduated from high school way back in 1993. Metal has become all about the brands, instead of the bands. Many of these legacy acts do not deserve the attention they receive and need to go away, because they are hurting the genre. It's like the board game Monopoly. It's a classic game and everyone knows what it is and I'm sure it's still one of the top sellers year after year. We all sort of love that game from our childhood, but it's boring as hell and it sucks and there are way better games out there now. Nostalgia has its place in music, but catering to the establishment legacy acts is a sellout move and goes against what metal and rock 'n' roll should be about. Whoever is in charge of modern rock radio programming needs to die, as well, because they are not helping things at all, but that's a whole different story.

How did you choose which bands you wanted to include in your magic mix of mayhem?

I met all of the bands on No Legacy by sharing the stage with them at club shows across California. When you do regional shows as a touring, independent band, you get to the venue early and stay until it's over. I hear and see hundreds of bands every year and the good ones stand out. I try to keep track of and stay in touch with the good ones. In 2017, I had this idea of the compilation album in my head. I would approach bands that made an impression on me the night I played with them and asked them if this idea of a compilation album was something that they would be interested in participating in. I was surprised on the immediate positive feedback. All of the bands I approached liked the idea of a compilation album. They reminisced about albums like Metal Massacre from decades ago and understood the fan crossover potential. I also think they trusted me because I had met them over the years through touring and playing shows together in every band I was in at the time.

You went straight for the vinyl with this one and, I must say, it is a beautiful thing to behold.

Vinyl has been a collectable rage for many years now. For many music fans, vinyl is the only format they're interested in when it comes to collecting music. That being said, vinyl is more complex, expensive, and time consuming to release. Many of the bands on the No Legacy comp had always wanted to release their own vinyl album, but couldn't afford to do so. All of us working together made it realistic to release a song on vinyl and move our individual portion of the 500 total units pressed.

Metal has become all about the brands, instead of the bands.

Why vinyl exclusively and not on another formats, too, like CD?

I wouldn't put out a compilation CD in these times because there is no intrigue. With a vinyl album, it looks good and fans of a particular band like to pick up to albums to support their team and see how their boys stack up compared to the "competition." I think that there is a friendly competition vibe that surrounds it. The vinyl album has value, whereas a compilation CD? Meh, just listen to the bands on YouTube, at that point. CDs do still have a place at the merch table, but a CD's purpose now is a cheap collectable for a fan to buy of an individual band and get signed for five or ten bucks.

I've always had vinyl albums to sell when I was in White Wizzard and Gypsyhawk, especially, but I had never put one out DIY. It was a challenge and I learned a lot in the process. I had good people to work with, having Ryan Bartlett doing the graphic design and artwork, Michael Hateley doing the mastering, who I've worked with for years with Ironaut, and Justin from Pirates Press was extremely helpful. Justin was there to make sure every detail was covered from start to finish and, all in all, the whole process wrapped up quicker than I expected once I got all the materials together on my end.

So Pirates Press turned out to be a good choice for your vinyl pressing needs.

Yes. I heard good things about them through Grand Lord High Master. I feel like their name has always been around, although I wasn't producing albums at the time. I worked with a guy named Justin and we went back and forth a lot to make sure that I didn't miss anything in the process. He put his time in the project to see it through properly. There were some questions on the forms that neither I nor the mastering engineer was familiar with and Justin helped us. The results are perfect and once I got the materials in and Okayed the test pressings, the records were manufactured and shipped from Czech Republic much quicker than I thought it would be. The hardest part of the process was getting the materials turned in from the bands. Everyone was cool, but musicians are the worst when it comes to doing things in a timely fashion.

What's the story behind Ryan's Bartlett’s album art?

I met Ryan when Ironaut did a show at the Dollhut in Anaheim with Livin Alive. Ironaut was still an instrumental band back then and Ryan had just designed Livin Alive's new logo t-shirts, which had a thrashy, Thin Lizzy feel. I hit it off with Ryan and he's done a lot of work Ironaut and Void Vator over the years. When I approached him about the compilation album he was extra excited, because I wanted to get his work out on a vinyl album cover. He also did all the layout graphic design work on the inside record sleeve.

Ryan had a piece of art lying around and he and I worked together with some ideas of how we could take this picture he had of a typical heavy metal skeleton figure and make it something bigger. That's what I like about Ryan, is that we can work together and try a few ideas. We seem to be able to communicate and try things out without committing to one idea. We tried different colors and borders. I asked that the State of California be included and we worked out that fossilized piece in the center. He came up with the cosmic effect around the skeleton. We went back and forth a lot on the front and back cover and inside to give the album the best representation it could. He also came up with my No Legacy logo, which I'm really happy with. Yeah, he's a great dude.

No Legacy: How It Stacks Up

Track Listing:

Ironaut - Sick Stupid Lies

Disastroid - New Day

Madrost - Scorned

Astral Cult - Drowning

Void Vator - No Return

Aboleth - No Good

Grand Lord High Master - Sludge

Hazzard's Cure - Starvation

Tzmani - Final Hour

What do I think about this mad beast of a metal monster truck, roaring across the length of The Golden State? Well, first, I appreciate the No Legacy much more knowing the story behind it. The fact that these bands were vetted through hard time on the road says something about the care put into this collection. Eric's right, compilations are a lot of work -- like exhausting work -- and while Doomed & Stoned tends to go for breadth in our scene comps, there's something attractive to me about one that shows restraint.

Who are these bands? Half the fun behind a release like this is getting to know them organically, on the record's own terms. Let it spin a couple times and wash over you.

Some highlights for me included the opening number by Ironaut (a band I've been a champion for a while now). This is one of Erik Kluiber's current projects, and one he's quite proud of, as a matter of fact. "Sick Stupid Lies" gets our head banging right away with a nice pace and a tone that is at once urgent and dreadful. The most enjoyable part for me is the trill work that accents the main riff (I imagine it's as addictive to play as it was to listen to). As in the glory days of heavy metal, the solo is back, though hardly a retread of what you've heard before. This is evolution, baby.

Disastroid is a San Francisco trio that has its own eclectic blend of grungy, sludgy rock going on, with muscle car stoner rhythms and proggy mods to this beast that alone make it a worthy ride. But it’s those oh-so-pleasing vocal harmonies that make listening to "New Day" that take those wheels off the ground, sailing you into the sunrise with a nice high.

Danger ahead: this road is about to get rocky. For you doomers and stoners out there, we're moving into tech-death territory with the colossal Madrost. It's hard not to get excited when the Lake Forest four pull out all the wizardry, matching machine-precision beats with a swirling blast of radioactive riffage of "Scorned."

Astral Cult brings us back to the soil for gritty, Sabbath-touched doom blended with QOTSA-style stoner rock, grounded by a gorgeous, dark bass tone, grungy vocals, and effective psychedelic contrasts. The Folsom foursome are really on a roll with "Drowning," nestled right in a sweet spot here on this comp. I imagine experiencing Astral Cult performance must be a dimension shifting experience and I do hope I get the pleasure further into the year.

This is my first time hearing Void Vator, Erik's other band, who describe themselves as "a high energy rock band with the metal stylings of Megadeth mixed with the radio hooks of the Foo Fighters." I suppose those are good points of reference, and you can throw some Monster Magnet influence in there, too. Really, Void Vator just sounds like a fun, adrenaline-charged band that I'd expect to see opening one of the travelling Rockstar Energy Drink metal fests. "No Return" is a good introduction to their sound, which by all rights would be going mainstream in the heyday of radio.

With members sourced from The Ultra Electric Mega Galactic and Sulfur, Aboleth is a grower for sure. Those raspy vocals we here in "No Good" belong to the lovely Brigitte Roka, who sounds for all the world like a whiskey drinking, chain smoking Janis Joplin, an impression reinforced with the bluesy leads of Collyn McCoy's, who loves to play dirty with those Delta slides (like their LA cohorts, The Great Sadness). This is the kind of band that you'd want to come out for on a cold, dark Monday night when you have to work the next day.

Grand Lord High Master is next up to bat, described as "one of Los Angeles' weirdest" by Metal Assault. "Sludge" shrieks and squeals like a true representative of southern sludge metal, enhanced by the clarity of strong drumming and bass play and some really, really mean vox. You'll definitely get a please Pantera aftertaste to this this burner. That said, any of the comparisons I've been making up to now are merely a writer's grasp for something to get your ears anchored to until you've gotten your footing and can accept the band on its own terms.

In full disclosure, the comp did start to get a little sluggish for me right at the point of Hazzard's Cure , whose hazy "Starvation" could have perhaps been better placed nearer to Aboleth (but what do I know?). A compilation isn't just about compatibility it is about contrast. Certainly, Hazzard's Cure is a mean bastard and a hard one to pin down stylistically (they've been described as "San Francisco Speed Doom," it that helps). The problem here isn't with the song; it's with the recording the band submitted, which is a little too muddy for my taste. This is where I feel like I'm listening to one of those old comps, 'Deep Six' (1986) from C/Z Records, which despite some questionable sonics, introduced us to the likes of Melvins and Soundgarden.

The pace picks up, as well as the acoustical quality of the recording (which has been generally stellar throughout) in the album closer, "Final Hour," a forlorn four-minute track from San Diego's Tzmani. The songs features some beautiful leads and guitar harmonies that remind us that there are some definitely motifs of traditional metal and developments in modern metal that are worth holding on to.

So what kind of rating would I give this bad boy? Well, I made an executive decision a long time ago that Doomed & Stoned wasn't going to give numbers, stars, or any other kind of scale ratings. The reason is simple: we don't have time to listen to a lot of music, even less time to review it. We're aiming to share the music and the stories of the heavy underground, so we'd rather put the emphasis there than to tell you what you should think about it or give a quick soundbite to the PR folks, as much as we appreciate what they're doing. Look, I either like a record or I don't and if I review it I like it.

The verdict?   Billy likes it.     My recommendation?   Give ear...

Get 'No Legacy' on Vinyl.

[wiremagazine]

TWIST CELEBRATES 24 GLORIOUS YEARS IN SOUTH BEACH

By Rafa Carvajal and Michael W. Sasser

Any business that succeeds for almost a quarter-century after its launch has plenty of reasons to celebrate. A nightclub in Miami Beach that manages to be a thriving, contemporary landmark year after year for that span of time surely deserves to throw a party. 

A joyous party is just what it will be on Wednesday, June 28, beginning at 9 p.m., as TWIST celebrates its 24th anniversary. There will be an open bar from 9-11 p.m., hors d'oeuvres and all of the bars will be open. The evening will feature impromptu pop-up performances, as well as the traditional performances Getting Fresh with TP Lords, featuring Josefina La Globos.

Miami Beach and the regional LGBTQ community also come together to commemorate TWIST’s anniversary. Attracting a consistent stream of local and traveling patrons, as well as celebrity guests, TWIST has long been a beacon of hospitality greeting everyone with open arms.

Wire Magazine caught up with TWIST co-owner Joel Stedman, bartender Aquiles Oraa and wildly popular entertainer Pussila to discuss 24 years on South Beach, the TWIST culture and approach to hospitality, and their personal recollections of this iconic nightclub’s history.

Bartender Aquiles Oraa

Rafa Carvajal: Why did you decide to work at TWIST as a bartender? Aquiles Oraa: I had recently moved from Orlando to Miami, a friend of mine was bartending at a local pub and got me interested in the industry. When I started to go out to clubs in Miami, TWIST was the only club that offered seven different rooms with music and energetic variety of bartenders. I figured it would be a great opportunity to explore the gay scene and culture since I had just recently opened up to friends about my sexual orientation. I was on the path to accepting myself and thought that working in a gay club would provide the exposure in a world I had no experience in.

RC: How is bartending at TWIST different than bartending elsewhere? AO: TWIST is the congregation of all the LGBTQ community, but also welcoming to everyone. Our demographics of clients are inclusive of all ages, social and economic classes and sexual orientation. It is truly a place where people can be themselves, breaking down taboos and stereotypes while buying a drink for someone or dancing with a complete stranger. TWIST not only is a place to let loose, but a place where you learn something new every time.

RC: Tell our readers about your history with TWIST. AO: When I was 20 years old, I applied to work at TWIST and was rejected because I was too young. After a year wait, I reapplied and was offered a bar back position due to my lack of bartending experience. However, “once a bar back, never a bartender,” so I declined their offer and I was put on hold. At that time, the bartenders at TWIST were generally over 30 years old. I did not fit the prototype or image because I was too thin and young. It wasn’t until six months later that Valentino, the general manager, called to inform me that owners wanted to interview me again. At that point, they offered to train me, but did not guarantee a position. I basically needed to prove that I had what it takes to be a bartender at TWIST. After taking the risk of quitting my current job at the time and training at TWIST for two weeks, I was finally given a chance to become part of the TWIST family.

RC: What is the strangest thing a customer has ever ordered? AO: Whiskey with cranberry. It’s a weird combination for me because in my country, whiskey is drank strictly on the rocks. However, whatever you ask for, if we have it, we will gladly serve it!

RC: What is the personal dynamic like between TWIST team members? AO: The environment at TWIST is fun, relaxing and worry-free. Management assists the process by providing team-building experiences outside of work, and the right support. The bartenders have strong work ethics and respect each other’s workspace and clientele. We constantly give advice and feedback to each other on professional and personal levels. In my opinion, the teamwork among co-workers, whether it is security, bar-backs, bartenders or management, has gotten stronger over the years. I would say that the last three years, our current staff is one of the best we’ve ever had since I’ve been here.

RC: How have patrons changed over your years at TWIST? AO: When I was first given Bar Five, it was not the famous Latin bar. My clientele consisted of people who wanted to just pass by when they wanted to chat with other people, or just have a drink without the noisy crowd. Bar Five was not even considered a dance room. As I exponentially increased my clientele, the administration decided to turn it into a Latin bar. As a result, there was an instant increase in patrons and an interest for Latin music at TWIST. In recent years, I have noticed that the crowd in my bar is not strictly Latinos. It has evolved into a multicultural group of people from all over the world that are attracted to Latin music and dance. Today, Bar Five is a true example of diversity coming together in one place with no language or cultural barriers. It is the precise representation of the beautiful city of Miami.

RC: What has been the most memorable night at TWIST and why? AO: There are countless memorable nights at TWIST throughout my years here. I do not have a specific memory; instead I have endless. I have grown to appreciate valuable moments that I have shared with friends, customers and co-workers. Ironically, at my bar I have met people that have impacted my life, whether it would be through personal relationships or friendships.   

RC: What do you enjoy the most about working at the Latin bar? AO: Since I am originally from Venezuela, the Latin bar brings me to my roots. Although I enjoy all genres of music, the Latin bar is a fusion of all Latin American countries. It unites people through music and dance. Never a dull moment in the Latin bar!

RC: Is there anything you would like to share with Wire Magazine? AO: TWIST is an authentic and unique venue to be a part of for so long. It has schooled me on my journey in this country, as well as in my private life. I’ve had the privilege to work with a great team while also meeting amazing people. I am honestly forever grateful that Richard and Joel gave me the opportunity to become part of this fabulous and timeless club!

Co-owner Joel Stedman

Rafa Carvajal: Tell us about the TWIST family. Joel Stedman: We really are one big family at TWIST. We’ve been so lucky to have so many long time staff members that really help to create a sense of tradition and camaraderie. We not only work together, but also do things outside of TWIST. We like getting a big group together and attending the award banquets and pageants. We’ve had spa days at The Miami Beach EDITION and even paint ball wars. We try to have a good time!

RC: What is the most interesting celebrity moment you’ve had at TWIST? JS: One of the biggest highlights was when Katy Perry showed up unannounced, sat in VIP and dug a scoop into the ice bucket and poured herself a cocktail. Her career was just taking off and she was so comfortable with everyone at TWIST. It’s how the celebrities in the ‘90s used to act. Pretty much just one of the gang, having an amazing time. 

RC: Describe TWIST in one word. JS: Consistent.

RC: What's the best fitting description of TWIST you have ever heard someone use? JS: “All roads lead to TWIST.” It’s pretty true. There are a lot of things to do, but everyone knows where to go after that.

RC: How do you feel the nightlife industry has changed over your years in South Beach? JS: Everything changes very quickly in South Beach. The crowd, the scene, styles, everything. Throughout it all, the last incredible 24 years, we’ve tried to stay consistent with some very basic tenets. It seems that whether in the ‘90s, 2000s or now, most people are looking for three things: great music, a friendly staff and having an absolutely amazing time. Oh, and never a cover always helps!

RC: Is there anything else you would like to share with Wire Magazine readers JS: Yes, we would like to sincerely thank all of our loyal patrons for making TWIST what is today. We couldn’t have done it without you! Here’s to another 24!

Entertainer Pussila

Rafa Carvajal: How did you come about your job at TWIST? Pussila: In late 2002, I started doing shows at TWIST in an “open mic” format, conducted the by fabulous Adora! It was an anything goes drag show. There were a lot of crazy costumes and very creative performances from most of the people that came and took part in that show. As it was an unpaid gig, I did it for the fun and for my artistic expression at the time. Little did I know I was gaining a lot of valuable experience and practice for what would become my own weekly shows at TWIST. I did that for about a year until I became one of the regular drag queens in that show. Then in early 2004, after gaining more exposure and experience, I was offered a paid gig there each Tuesday for karaoke night. That post became available after the passing of Sexilia, a well-known South Beach drag legend. It was a little awkward and somber because of the situation, but I took the job and I did the karaoke night for a few months, until one Tuesday night right in the middle of Whitney Houston’s “I Will Always Love You,” the karaoke machine blew up! So I had to improvise and I came up with a new show concept called The Twisted Amateur Strip Contest! So the concept was simple, contestants would take their clothes off and be judge by a panel of three judges, the good judge, the evil judge and the ugly judge. I played the good judge, and guest judges would play the other two judges each Tuesday. The show was an immediate success and lasted a little over seven years! It was very funny and entertaining. I really loved that show and I looked forward to judging it each week. This is what truly gave me the foundation for my hosting career and comedic style, and it also helped me to learn how to control the microphone. Surprisingly, I was awful at handing the mic when I first started out!

Later on, I graduated from Tuesday night and moved my skills to Sunday and Monday nights, in the Bungalow at TWIST. I have been there since 2010 hosting the nightly amateur underwear and sexy dance contests and coordinating the TWIST dancers.

RC: How is performing at TWIST different than other venues? P: Performing at TWIST is a very, very different experience than at other venues because TWIST is a 21 and up crowd venue – which changes the dynamic of how I use language when speaking to the audience. I can use adult language, I can tell jokes in both English and Spanish. I can even speak my mind about very intimate and or taboo subjects, which I do very frequently. At TWIST, it is easy to get to know your audience very quickly, as the venue is intimate and easily packed when the show starts. So the experience is concentrated and maximized in a small space, which is great for any performer because it feels like 300 people, but in reality is more like 80-100 people. It is a very good, positive energy to have when performing. The best thing for me is being able to do my work in such close proximity to my audience. Being able to interact with our patrons right there is awesome!

RC: What is the craziest thing you have asked a guest to do? P: In all my years at TWIST, I have done so many crazy things, and I have asked people to do so many crazy things, that it’s very hard to answer that question. But if I had to say one thing, this one comes to mind. One time I had this beautiful guy celebrating his birthday and I dared him to take a shot of tequila from my mouth and he did, which was hot! Then he got another shot and told me to do the same, but from his to my mouth, so I said sure. Before I could receive the shot, he started to laugh and couldn't hold the tequila in his mouth, so it exploded in my face! It went everywhere and I couldn't open my eyes for a minute! I laughed so hard with him and the audience went crazy!

RC: Who is the most famous guest for whom you have performed at TWIST? P: I never actually saw him, but I am told it was Jim Carrey, when he was at TWIST researching for his role in the movie I Love You Phillip Morris (which I recommend you watch if you haven’t seen it).

RC: Describe TWIST in three words. P: I love this question! I think these words are the true definition of what TWIST is all about...

Freedom: We get international patrons that come from countries that do not have the freedoms that we have here in the United States. These folks come from places (such as the Middle East or Africa) that do not support gay rights or even human rights! I am surprised how many of these people are shocked with amazement that we have the freedom to do these fun shows, and that we have the freedom to be ourselves here. Because of this, I take the time to remind everyone how fortunate we are!

Family: TWIST is not just a bar or a club; it is also a family! Some of our family members have been part of this union for many, many years. TWIST is very well known for keeping a strong and professional group of people together for over two decades. This family cares about their work and cares about their patrons. It’s a very good thing to be a part of the TWIST family!

Fun: Just like our slogan says, Never A Cover, Always A Groove! TWIST is always fun, which is great thing to have in any community, a place you can always have fun, no matter what!

RC: How have audiences changed at TWIST over the years? P: I think the audience makeup has changed a lot. When I began working at TWIST, more of the patrons were locals, but now that TWIST has become a South Beach icon, and is known internationally, I see more and more tourists in the audience than in years past! We are lucky we have an awesome reputation, both locally and around the world! Ask any gay person who has vacationed in Miami Beach if they have ever been to TWIST and you will always get a yes. TWIST and Miami Beach are synonymous!

RC: What do you enjoy the most about being a performer at TWIST? P: I have to go back to the word freedom! What I enjoy the most at TWIST is the freedom that I have to create the show each Sunday and Monday night. I select and choose the music as well as schedule all the sexy dancers! TWIST has trusted me with this for over a decade now. I get to be myself and I get to grow as an artist. I think this is rare to find from most employers. I always tell everyone I truly love my job at TWIST because “I truly love my job at TWIST!”

RC: Tell our readers about the underwear contest. P: I always encourage first timers that come to TWIST to watch this show. I tell them to wait in the bungalow and not to go too far because "you don't want to miss this contest!” It is one of those things that will stay in your memory for a long time. It’s always extremely hilarious and super fun. I think it’s one of the best shows out there, and it will make you ask, “Is this really happening?”

RC: What’s your best beauty tip for working under the night light? P: I have lots of tips. Always wear the best possible makeup and always get lots of beauty rest! Also, remember to use your microphone to adjust the lights away from your face (my fans will understand exactly what I mean)!

RC: What else would you like to tell our readers about the TWIST family? P: I first would like to thank all the owners and managers (past and present), for everything you have done for Miami Beach and the gay community. You have provided not just a great place for our community to get together, relax and be who they are, but you have also provided good and stable employment for many people for over two decades! Also, for me personally, having this awesome venue has allowed me to grow as an artist and an entertainer. Pussila exists today because TWIST gave me this great opportunity to do what I love to do… perform! So I thank you, TWIST, from the bottom of my heart! Lastly, and also importantly, I need to thank the patrons! These amazing people know who they are. Some have only met Pussila once, but others return year after year while on vacation here in Miami Beach. They come to see the shows and often bring new friends to experience Pussila! Also I must thank my local supporters – the ones I see week after week here at our home, TWIST. Thank you for supporting Pussila! And as for the folks who have yet to come see Pussila... I cannot wait to meet you!

I’ll see you in the Bungalow each Sunday and Monday night... at TWIST!

This was originally published in Wire Magazine Issue 25.2017