#this isnt a complain i just forgot cis people were a thing

[mistyscenter]

MC is such a genderless being inside my head, unless If it's someone OC, that when I see them being referred to as "she" I go "!?!??!?!??" And completely forget MC can be a woman. Not only but MC can be, get this, a cis woman.

Essentially I've been stuck inside my little transgender brain for so long that I forgot that cis women MCs can be a thing and some people don't fuck around with gender in the game, which is weird because Our Life is the genderfuckery game for me so cis players are always a jumpscare to me lmao

[romolite]

*Important FAQ*

Aka questions that pertain to what I usually post about or stuff I don’t like getting asks about but continue to get asks about regardless.

[Insert any invasive question about my ethnicity/race]

I’m Ghanaian American. My parents were born in Ghana and I was born here in the US. I’ve seen it more on twitter and tumblr, but Black Africans don’t like me because I’m American, and black Americans don’t like me because I’m African. So I’m stuck in the middle lmao. I’m what you’d consider a First-Generation African, my parents are Continental Africans, and if I have children, they will be considered Generational African Americans.

First Generation African: A black person born in the US to parents who were born in Africa

Generational African American: A black person born in the US to US-born black parent(s)

Continental African: A black person born in Africa to parents who were also born in Africa

Non is just a prefix, black people don’t have a monopoly on the term! I suppose you think nonbinary people are racist huh?

Yeah sure it wasnt coined by black people but the context it’s currently used as was predominantly used by black people. ALL people who are not black benefit from and contribute to antiblackness, even if they are marginalized themselves. That kind of dynamic doesnt exist in other contexts (unless we’re talking about transfem + transmisogyny, but that’s something you’d have to talk to someone who is transfem about. Plus they have their own word for  “non-transfem”). Using it in contexts outside of antiblackness is appropriative (Yall are annoying as fuck with the “non-aspec” “non-lesbian”(this term also has anti-bi roots btw) “non-bi” shit etc, stop it. You also can’t complain about the “replacement terms” lumping yall with oppressors when “non-x” does the exact same thing you’re so worried about. “Cis” puts cis gays with cis hets, cis disabled people with cis abled people, cis white people with cis poc, I could go on.) 

Plus we’re talking about marginalized groups here. Black people are a marginalized group. Binary people as a whole are not so the term nonbinary isn’t appropriate at all.  I dont take issue with terms like “nonamerican” or “nonwhite” because (obviously) whites + americans as a whole aren’t oppressed for being white or american.

Basically using "non-x” in contexts to talk about oppression bad, everything else good.

Follow up: If we can’t use non-[marginalized group], what can we use instead?

There are other words to describe the people you’re talking about

non-transfem- TME

non-LGBT- cishet, or people who aren’t LGBT

non-trans - cis

Black people don’t have a monopoly on the acronym nb! I’ll call myself nb if I want to!

At this point I dont really care, go on your antiblack crusade elsewhere and out of my inbox, I’m always gonna mean nonblack when I use the acronym nb. 

And yes, you’re antiblack as fuck if you think black people telling you “nb” stands for “nonblack” is the same as exclusionists claiming “aspec” is for autistic people.

Is x AAVE?

I have a tag dedicated to what is and is not aave and how harmful it is for nonblacks to use aave given its history. I know some things overlap with southern culture but others are specifically for black people. A lot of “stan twitter” language/slang is just repackaged AAVE. No, I can’t tell you how to stop using AAVE. Don’t tell me you’re going to try to stop using AAVE, I don’t want to hear it.

Why don’t you like the n-word being compared to LGBT slurs?

Race and Sexuality/Gender aren’t comparable topics because each deals with a different history of oppression. I don’t care about slur discourse that much because I don’t even use/reclaim any myself except the n-word.

I have a problem with nonblack LGBT people co-opting black culture and struggle(like they always do), especially for trivial online discourse.

And to be honest it goes deeper than slur discourse. Every other day someone is weaponizing the oppression of black trans women, or comparing “cishet aces/aros” in the LGBT community to white/nonblack people invading black spaces (you know, something that ACTUALLY takes resources away from the people who need it, see the cultural appropriation of Black African and Blac American culture in literally any nonblack community while black people get demonized for said culture), or tokenizing their black friends to get away with something blatantly racist. And that’s not even getting into how a lot of gay slang/stan culture is just repurposed AAVE/black culture.

And I’m not gonna lie, I’ve seen this more with exclusionist accounts than inclus accounts, but it’s still not excusable for inclus to do that either. We get erased as black gay/trans/queer/aspec people up until it’s time for discourse accounts to bring us up to one-up each other

Can you give me advice on x?

Most likely not, because I’m not an expert or an advice blog. I’ll try, but don't take my word for it. I’m also tme, able-bodied, not Jewish, singlet, etc, so I’m not able to accurately answer questions about transmisogyny, (physical?) ableism, antisemitism, “sycourse”, etc.

I might be able to give advice on school-related stuff since I just graduated high school, but remember that students are not a monolith, and what worked for me may not work for someone else.

Can I follow if I’m nonblack/a minor/cishet?

Nonblack and/or cishet can follow but watch your step, minors blacklist the #minors dni tag before following

Why do you hate Ao3?

*long sigh*

I don't, I have a problem with the fact that it allows racist and (frankly voyeuristic) pedophilic/abusive/incestuous content to exist on its platform. It’s a good concept overall, but the devs are complicit in allowing “underage” and “noncon/dubcon” fics on their platform.

And there's the fact that they somehow need donations every year despite exceeding their goal several times over each year?

What’s wrong with Hazbin Hotel/The Ships/Vivziepop?

[WIP, as I have to go into extensive detail about this and I currently don’t have the energy for it]

TLDR: Viv made a half-assed apology for supporting racists (one of whom did blackface [yes the mask was used to do blackface shut up] to mock black activist) and drawing gross content. Her current projects including Hazbin Hotel are full of anti-gay/trans/aspec (Angel Dust, Vaggie, Alastor), antisemetic (Mimzy), and racist (Vaggie again, that yellow cyclops character that I’ve forgotten the name of) content under the guise of humor. If you’re into that shit, whatever, just don’t follow me and don’t whine when I make posts criticizing it.

What’s wrong with Hamilton?

Aside from the fact that it’s very obviously glorifying slave owners and made people worldwide believe the founding fathers were good people, LMM, the creator, is nonblack. This isn't his story to tell at all. 

Can you tag x?

I have a list of things I usually tag because they come upon this blog a lot. I cannot do catch all tags, as I have way too many followers for that. The closest thing to that is the “ask to tag” tag when there’s something potentially triggering but I’m not sure what it is. Everything is tagged as “x tw”. If something is extremely triggering, I’ll tag it as “major tw”

Do you tag slurs?

I tag slurs I’m not able to reclaim at all (i.e., d slur, f slur, t slur) or slurs I can reclaim but are being used as a slurs. I don’t tag the n-word, as I reclaim that one. I always tag the r slur

Can I message you about something/someone?

Unless you’re a mutual, most likely no. My DMs are only open to mutuals.

Do you want to be mutuals?

I don’t usually follow back people who follow me, especially if you’re under 16 or post things I’m not interested in.

Why is it important to have byf or about?

1) So I know gross people aren’t following me. This is not up for discussion

2) So I know someone’s not speaking out of their lane, which tends to happen a lot. (i.e, someone refusing to disclose that they are tme when discussing transmisogyny, someone not having their race listed when discussing racism)

3) Some people don’t want to interact with people under 18 or over like 30 or something.

Yeah, yeah, people aren’t entitled to personal information and all that crap but I have a serious problem with people speaking on topics from a place of privilege. Not to say they can’t talk about those things, just perhaps add a disclaimer that you’re privileged when talking about these things and be open to criticism, and NOT blocking people of the said marginalized group when they tell you something you’ve said was problematic.

I also have a problem with people who are intentionally vague about their age. There’s a difference between interacting with someone who’s 20 and someone who’s 29. I don’t want to say it’s the opposite for minors but at the same time there’s a difference for saying something racist at 13 and doing so at 17, and keeping your age vague makes it harder to determine how to deal with something like that. (Not that 13-year-olds shouldn’t know better, it’s just I don’t feel whole ass callout posts and receipt blogs are necessary for someone of that age).

Also anyone under 16, I can't stop you from following, but keep your interaction limited, please. This isnt an 18+ blog but I do rb suggestive jokes from time to time

I sent you an ask and you never answered it!

It’s likely that

I never got it

You were blocked

I’ve already answered this or it’s been answered in my faq

It’s a random positivity ask (which I appreciate but not sure how to respond to those)

You were rude in your ask and I didn’t feel like answering

I forgot until it was too late, which happens when my inbox gets a lot of asks at a time.

You sent it to the wrong blog (I.e, sending asks about my ocs to this blog instead of @ochood )

Hey, the op is [insert post] is [someone on my dni]! I usually double-check myself, just to be sure.

Have you heard about [someone who is mutuals with someone I’m loosely connected with]?

Most likely, no. And unless they’re an immediate danger to someone or they’ve got my name in their mouth, I don’t care.

Do you know who [x person/group/thing] is?Most likely no. Not to sound like a hipster but I don't usually keep up to date with trends. If I do hear about something, it’s most likely from twitter or Instagram.

Why am I blocked? Check here.

Why do you continuously move mains/change URLs/update themes?

I’m inconsistent. And sometimes there are posts on my blog that I no longer stand by.

Can I tag you in posts I think I’d like?Of course! 

[vtori73]

CW for mentions of sexual harassment/assault:

Twitter really has become the new Tumblr huh? I only say this because I haven't really seen the discourse over bi/pan lesbians hit here. Maybe it's because I follow less people and the people I do follow don't care/or understand it's harmful rhetoric.

If anyone who follows me is against the term would you be willing to explain any valid points as to why its bad because ALL of the ones I've seen are just horribly bad or are a revival of the old "gold star lesbian" shit.

One of the main points that I've seen getting parroted and such by Lesbians is "lesbians don't like men and the term forces men onto lesbians!!!"

Now there are a couple reasons why this is an insidious point.

This talking point is spreading false info in that all bi, mspec's have to be attracted to men or otherwise they aren't bi. I thought we were past the whole "bi people are attracted to men/women" definition crap but I guess not. The Bi community overall accepts and prefers the definition of "attracted to 2 or more genders." So already just based off of this your point is not only wrong but ignorant and even at worst biphobic.

Another reason this is insidious is because this literally was a talking point that was used VERY much by terfs & terf lesbians against trans women. Who exactly is counted as a man by your criteria? Maybe you say you include trans women and non-binary individuals but what about those who do identify with man-hood/masculinity? What about those whose gender and sexuality isnt set in stone and changes? What about butch trans and enbies? Whose criteria are we exactly following and why is it okay to gatekeep in this way when it literally identical to all other gatekeeping tactics and rhetoric that's been used in the past? This stuff hurts everyone who doesn't fit neatly into a box and only benefits those who want to be palatable to Cisgender heterosexual allos.

The other reasons this point sucks ass because it's literally a victim blaming narrative. Why does the blame of predatory men lie on a label and NOT on the men??? Also... this point whether intentionally or not makes it out to seem like anyone who holds attraction to men is to blame for being harassed and assaulted by them and that is just awful especially considering Bisexual and probably any other mspec people have HIGHER rates of sexual harassment/assault then Lesbian or Gay people. So are you saying because of who we are/our sexuality we should expect it? Also that somehow a label will protect you from cis men is laughable... I bet some of the same people who are saying this now have in the past said or liked something thats complained about men still hitting on them despite the fact that they told them they were a Lesbian. Entitled men DO NOT care what your sexuality is, if they perceive you as a women then the will feel they are entitled to you.

One thing that also isn't 100% relevant is I also see Lesbians complaining about the label because they don't want outsiders invading it and "why can't we have something to ourselves." I mean... why are y'all so obsessed on the idea of sepereating y'all's community from anyone else? I don't think any other sexuality does this. Gay has LITERALLY become an umbrella term for almost anyone, Bi is an umbrella term, Trans is an umbrella term, these communities already share spaces with other identities not 100% like them so why are y'all so against sharing your space with others? What exactly makes us so different that you can't stand to share a space with bi and non-binary (that don't fit your standards) people?

This all really is just a revival of the same shit that happened back in the day, history repeats itself if you don't learn from it and this is just a great example of that.

Edit: oh shit I forgot one point but real quickly let me clarify why I said "revival of gold star lesbian rhetoric." Whether these Lesbians want to admit it or not they ARE attacking their own community with this bullshit, the one they are specifically claiming they're trying to protect who only identify as Lesbian. There are probably already Lesbians who use the label but DO feel attraction to men whether it had been once in the past or an occasional bleep in their life that they don't think it relevant and may or may not have slept with men. Do these Lesbians still get to use the label and be in the community? What if their attraction isn't due to comphet, what if they don't regret sleeping with the men they did? Do they still count now???

Either way you try to slice and dice this rhetoric, I've found none of it makes sense and only will do more harm then good.