#this isn't meant to be a detraction from the influence nancy had on steve

[lucassinclaer]

i think the most important thing about steve's growth is that it wasn't facilitated by romantic love. it wasn't that he only changed because of a girl. that's what he says in episode 1 when he tells nancy "she's not like other girls" and he reinforces it to himself in season 2 when he says the exact same thing. and then he hangs onto it in season 4, because it's the comfortable thing to think.

but it's jonathan and nancy in combination that get him to tell off his friends and make amends. he goes to jonathan first - he doesn't know nancy'll be there. his first act of repentence (cleaning up his own insults) isn't something he does performatively.

and the thing is, it'd be a delicious thing to acknowledge in canon. that he's convinced himself that it was the girl who changed him but that's not actually the case. that there can be just as profound of an emotional effect illicited by a guy who was protecting what he loves. that it was a multitude of things. that he might have convinced himself because he's used to the type of dynamic tommy gave him - always instigating, provoking, never holding him accountable. and that's never jonathan, who is principled and thoughtful and observant. and it's only a little bit nancy, who has been forced and grown past that.

steve himself tries to put his situation in easy terms that conform to society's pre-occupation with women as the emotional sponges, with cishet normative romance, but it doesn't work. because it's not real. and steve can no longer hide from reality.