#this isn't a means to /excuse/ their hostility by the way. i'm just thinking about it. explaining it to myself i guess.

[iatrophilosophos]

"Everyone" is not "worse at driving now" because of long covid. Yall.

Long covid is real, it is fucking people up, it seems relatively common, and that is precisely why everyone needs to stop attributing everything under the sun to it and actually adopt a sense of interrogative vigor*, especially among people who are 20-30 and have, lbr, SO MANY reasons to be miserable and ill including:

Shitty moldy apartment buildings & similar environmental hazards of slum&overcrowded housing

Dietary deficiencies/cheap mass-produced and fast food (no judgement! Eat what you can get down! But not eating vegetables WILL make you sick and crazy)

Onset of chronic illnesses folks would've gotten anyway &/ may be caused by factors like air & water pollution esp wrt environmental racism

Getting older 🤷 and conversely, being a young adult struggling to take care of oneself in a world that doesn't prioritize teaching you those skills & is often actively hostile towards using them

*by interrogative vigor i mean looking for information about why something ISNT covid or isn't long covid: lots of ppl are doing gr8 keeping up on the releases around covid! But yknow, when ur hammered you wanna nail everyone. Everything deserves a good faith effort to try on several explanations, you will learn a lot more even if it turns out to be your first thought.

I'm not saying any of this to try to downplay or deny anyone's suffering and im not interested in arguing with specific individuals about whether or not they personally have long covid (idk you! Idk ur history! Not for me to say! Lots of people definitely do!). I also understand that when doctors say things like the above^ it can feel really shitty and be really unhelpful. No one wants to feel like they're miserable and dying for months, finally get in a clinic visit, and be told "idk clean ur apartment, thatll be $400. Come back in six months to pay me another $400 when it doesn't work". That sucks!

What i can say is that whether or not any given individual has long covid, you almost definitely have at least one(1) other problem. this...really ain't my first rodeo. I have been watching especially younger adults who are breaking down & being disabled by the weight of The Everything get a pathology diagnosis, apply it as the root cause of most of their problems, proselytize how everyone, actually, probably has this pathology, and watch it catch on as the definitions get vaguer and the symptoms pool gets bigger. It almost always happens with diagnoses of exclusion & diagnoses that are very subjective: ADHD, autism, crohn's disease, hEDS...

Pathologies are most useful when they define a problem in a way it can be solved. I think in a lot of spaces, especially online, they can be leaned on as a source of validation or emotional support: it's the explanation that makes your misery make sense and justifies it to others. I would suggest that, as disability activists have been saying for decades: we do not have to justify our misery. We don't need an excuse to feel. We don't need an excuse to need help.

What we do need is a) a political critique of the state of disability that doesn't let the rest of the everything off the hook in favor of yelling about individual actions, and b) a personal and community scale understanding of misery that is useful to remediating misery AND!!! GATHERING BETTER DATA about the things that are making people miserable so we can fucking! Work on it!

One of the main things I do like, with my life tbh, is help disabled people understand their health and be less miserable, and when i work with clients in a more professional setting or just chat with friends, we don't start with a pathology: we start with a map. We look at housing, we look at food access, we look at environmental conditions, all in really granular detail, because everyone has so! Many! Problems! And we start work on solving like, two of them. How are we gonna beat the mold in your home back? How are we gonna get more food into you? & this starts to clarify things. One, regardless of what's wrong with people, these kinds of steps almost unilaterally help ease the burden p immediately, and two, fixing as much junk-data misery as we can gives us a WAY better understanding of what's going on and like, lets my clients have more productive relationships with their doctors because they can work up a smaller and more detailed list of complaints to investigate (& that are more within the realm of what those docs are actually trained to handle, most medical professionals just do not have skills for helping ppl with shit life syndrome.)

Caring about long covid as a mass disabling event (which i do, very much so!) should be pushing us to define DOWN the criteria for long covid by building a deep & rich understanding of the multiple other sources of misery and disability and using real tactics to help ourselves&eachother live with that misery. This in turn lets us build more concrete models of the things that are not currently well defined and thus strategize to figure out how to deal with those; rather than lumping everything into the nonspecific symptoms disease de jour and continuing to rot six deep in apartments where everyone's literally allergic to the fucking walls.

[gamerbot-22]

Hello, I hope you're doing well. Could you create a headcanon about how Vash would be with a reader girlfriend who is a Tsundere?

Explanation of Tsundere: A "Tsundere" is a character archetype often found in anime and manga. It describes someone who is initially cold, hostile, or indifferent towards someone they care about, but gradually shows a warmer, friendlier side over time.

Hi! I'm doing well, thanks! Still kinda recovering from a cold but I Got This. I hope you're doing well, too!

And you got it, estrela! (I hope I got that word right, I saw on your blog that you're Brazilian!) What a cute request!

Vash the Stampede x Tsundere Girlfriend Reader

TW/CWs: Vash and reader are in a romantic relationship, the reader is referred to as a girl/girlfriend and uses she/her pronouns, reader is described as being a bit mean at first but the dynamic gets worked out over time, Vash is a bit of a kicked puppy as always (/affectionate), written with TriStamp Vash in mind but feel free to slot any version you would prefer, barely proofread but I appreciate spellchecks.

A/N: So I've never actually gone out of my way to write tsunderes before! Usually it just kinda happens by accident lol. I hope this is what you were after!

Likes and Reblogs appreciated, Requests are Open, and it's all under the cut!

The dividers in this post were made by @/saradika ☆

So to be totally real, I don't think Vash would be phased all that much by a tsundere, considering his outlook. Like it might get a bit tiring on his mind if you're being especially prickly, but it's nothing he hasn't either seen before. Hell, it's milder than most cases!

All that to say, the Big Hurdle that comes from being interested in a lovely tsundere such as yourself is that he is. Deathly afraid of accidentally coming on too strong and making you uncomfortable. Like it's hard for him to tell where exactly your abrasiveness is coming from. Is it a coping mechanism? Is it something he did? Is this just how you are? If it's something he did, he wishes you would just tell him so he could apologize and make it up to you, but unless your behavior really wears down to a sore spot, he doesn't push you to talk about it.

Little does he know that all the times you call him a dumbass or get on his case for something or other, it's just your way of saying and showing you care without tipping anyone off (although if we're being real, I think Meryl would clock it pretty fast if she's around--) And it's hard sometimes because he has such a sweet face! And you kinda feel bad whenever his smile stops reaching his eyes as much and he excuses himself all quiet and shy. But also his pacifist attitude puts him in danger a lot of the time, and he seems to take undeserved punishment so easily, as if he really thinks he had it coming, and you want him to stand up for himself more!

I'm imagining that the relationship starts like. Right after one of those moments that sends him a few feet away from you out of respect. Like he starts to shift away in the sand, murmuring an apology and a "I'll get out of your hair" only for your feelings to just flow over until you're hauling him into a kiss and while he does kiss you back, when you both pull away he is. so confused. ("I thought you hated me!" "What?" "You called me all these names until now! I thought I did something wrong." "You didn't do anything wrong???" "Then why were you all mean to me?" "Well-- I mean-- Don't worry about that! I'm sorry!")

Once the relationship gets started though, Vash is super relieved and also pumped. He's got a girlfriend!! Yay!! And she's really cool and now he knows that the banter is a love language!! He gets a bit better at banter now that he knows that, leading to some really silly conversations and interactions over the coming relationship.

He also knows now that your attitude isn't meant to keep him away but is more part of a chase, kinda like how dogs will swat at each other or nip and then run off, hoping their target comes after them for some light-hearted wrastlin'. Thing is though, I don't think that's always how he rolls, so sometimes he'll just throw that out the window and go right for the throat (metaphorically) by being nice. Like he'll talk about how pretty you are and calls you things like "sweet girl," "angel," and the ever-beloved "mayfly," just to feel your face get all warm and hear your tongue get tied up. It's one of the cutest things in the world to him, and it usually ends with him pulling you into a hug and laughing an apology into your neck, which he knows only makes it worse.

This man loves you SO MUCH! Even if your way of showing it is different from how he does it. That's one of the things that makes you special, and he adores you for it.

[nishnormp]

cheavy ramblings

Been thinking about the stinky BLU classic heavy from the comics lately. He's basically the villain of the final issues, and was practically built to be unlikeable from the start so his defeat could be more satisfying; buut since its been years since an update came out and I am slowly going insane, I think it would be funky to explore him more (bonus cmedic feature)

Few disclaimers: I'm not excusing his actions (I myself think hes a bitch) and I do NOT ship him with tf2 medic (also I dont think tf2 medic is unmasked cmedic bc 1)why would he sabotage himself in the issues by acting like That 2)uhh reasons later 3)this panel) also some of my takes aren't original, but I've expanded on em a bit

P1: Medic hater activities

As we all know, cheavy's greatest sin was dunking on + killing tf2 medic

Somehow he and tfc demo got sidetracked by medic's question, but the most hostile he gets towards tf2 medic here is jeering at the fact that they're going to hunt down his old team; which tf2 medic doesn't seem bothered by.

( @number1yisuchongfan actually brought this up before me) This panel pretty much sums up why cheavy is pissed: medic was implied to have a record of being weird with parts (he lost his license bc he stole a man's skeleton), he blew ALL of his budget meant for healing on exotic parts (that he put in cheavy's teammates), AND he revived the enemy (said enemy slips away a few panels later just as cheavy gets informed that three of his mercs died).

(also, the weird p3do tfc scout and soldier arent included in the 'three good men', since they died much later) Speaking of the 'good men' comment-

P2: Good leader at some point?? Not anymore tho

Hes gruff and an ass, but cheavy has a soft spot for his team; the tf2 mercs call each other strictly by their classes, but the tfc ones know each other names (also see cheavy's way of describing his dead teammates and his immediate reaction to go over there rather than curse/assume their incompetence)

He gets curious about australium, and from here on out he gets fixated on it- enough to be more unreasonable than usual. Cheavy is pretty amicable with Bea, and the way he acts with her is probably more in-character for what he was like back in his prime rather than the hot-tempered man that the later panels show.

I mean . He and his team were highly recommended and even took out ALL of the admin's elite teams, leaving the tf2 team for last. He may be a drill sergeant, but I don't think he was a genuine tyrant for most of his career; they aren't purely business-basis with each other (some of them formed close bonds, like fred and virgil), plus- any elite team would be able to capitalize on an overly prideful and control freaky leader (+a constantly demoralized team) sooner.

With three of his mercs dead and his plans failing against a team that he saw as rejects, the mental strain is showing badly. Tfc mercs don't have much personality in their games (or their own comic about them during their prime) but one of the few dynamics mentioned is between the Heavy and the Engineer+Medic. Tfc engie is the one who stepped up to ask about cheavy's plans, and he also gets the brunt of his anger. Earlier, cheavy answered bea's question and encouraged her, but now he's yelling and mocking the capabilities of one of the men he coordinates with the most.

Tfc scout's line may just be him not understanding/underestimating australium (esp since apparently cheavy had to ask grey mann what it even did), but it also reads as him seeing cheavy having officially gone off his rocker; his shaky grasp over leadership might kill the team before being deprived of yellow rocks does. Both scout and engie are thrown off by his attitude, implying that cheavy isn't usually like this (I can't imagine them being coordinated if they all shrimp away like that).

His line of thinking for both of these situations are pretty questionable. For the first one, he knows that the bots extract australium from the body, but he also knows that the mercs likely have nothing in them anyways (note the emphasis on his dead mercs, this is him taking revenge but also he is NAWT going to get any australium for those extra immortality machines which is still a pressing issue for his engie). In the second one, he first tells medic that they'll try figuring out how to stitch the machine on him, which leads to medic stabbing him and cheavy retaliating. Cheavy then goes all the way with attempting to kill him, stating that he'll just gets his answers from the administrator. Its soon revealed that he wants to fight tf2 heavy, but even that is ??? Like cheavy knows that he and his team are old as hell, but he's going to try having a fair fight with a guy in his prime anyways? He didn't even know that he could just slap on the machine at the time, and the unnecessary risk for what seems to be a quest to satisfy his ego is antithetical to his supposed goal of getting the rocks and making his team immortal. At this point, his hatred of medic has completely overridden his rationality; there were many ways for him to have killed both of them, yet he didn't take em.

P3: Cmedic

I saw some posts abt how cheavy is likely coded as homophobic due to how he treats medic (a presumably gay-coded character) bc of the "stay in the kitchen"-esque dialogue, and the way cheavy undermines him in verbal + physical ways. I do not have a very solid defense for this . aside from everything I listed before.

Just to clarify, I think its cheavy's fault for alienating medic from the start: loss of medical license aside, medic's inventions DO work splendidly for healing. Would it have been more concerning since medic is . meant to heal? Maybe. But mercs are literal murderers for hire, personality quirks should be the last of their priorities. The guy is passionate about showing off his stuff, and he was even enthusiastic about getting on the battlefield and healing cheavy. I'm not saying medic was going to be 100% loyal, but he's willing to do his job for the classics as long as he wasn't disrespected so damn much.

The tfc mercs with personalities are ones that oppose their tf2 counterpart; tfc sniper is a sadist rather than a swift professional, tfc pyro is...also a sadist rather than having tf2 pyro's misguided bubbliness, and cheavy does not respect his team's (current) medic. This in conjunction with the complete and utter lack of not just presence but also mention of tfc medic leads to the popular belief that the guy just up and left because of the disrespect.

(Writing inconsistencies be damned I like to cope) so what if it wasn't the case?

These are one of the few lines in tfc that describe a cooperative nature between certain classes. Like I mentioned earlier, tfc has less media compared to tf2 so its easy to slot personalities onto them as villains (tfc sniper's gun blowing people into giblets kinda helps), but I don't think these can be ignored. Fred was the one who represented the rest of the team's opinions to cheavy, and the phrasing in the second pic is even stronger; the heavymedic duo was always a thing, even in tfc.

Sort of. Gameplay-wise, cmedic is more like a roided out scout armed with a medkit that can give enemies and disguised spies tuberculosis, grenades that can send him across the map, and a gun that can destroy sentries (situational). He doesn't need to cling to his more offensive teammates as much as tf2 medic, and while his kit can instantly heal a teammate to full no matter the percentage + give overheal- its strictly melee ranged and has no ubercharge. In a narrative sense, cmedic would most likely oppose tf2 medic as a more 'grounded' healer. He prevents damage to his team by erasing enemies himself, doesn't go too overboard with his biochemical arsenal (his brew is potent but hes stuck with the melee-ranged kit and no crazy mechanic like uber), and can typically run off by himself (provided he isn't jumped by two soldiers or smth). Its a matter of game design, but can translate to the comics in an interesting way.

Medic is the only one who speaks of cmedic, and while the mention itself has no violent reaction- no one else speaks of him. I can't imagine him being easily forgotten since the heavymedic duo is just too iconic, so what if smth exceptionally horrible just happened to him? If cmedic was close to cheavy than everyone else, his loss/disappearance could explain cheavy's immediate dislike for tf2 med; not only replacing his own med, but with the complete opposite in terms of personality as well.

(I could expand on cmedic more, but this post is already long enough as is so I'll probably just make a separate one gah)

[nerdy-talks]

Obey Me! Nightbringer Lesson 35

It might be a very unpopular opinion, perhaps I will be entirely alone on this, but...

Is anyone else not into this?

I consider Lucifer extremely old fashioned, which certainly isn't a bad thing. So I feel like this gesture came from a very thoughtful, sweet, even innocent place.

But I'm the type of person who likes to wear what I wanna wear. I definitely wouldn't want someone else choosing my outfit for me.

Despite that... I chose the blue outfit xD

You're damn right there is.

Choosing my outfit and my meal?

Lucifer, my dear... you're crossing into unfriendly territory ( • ＿・)

Mainly because I'm a picky eater, but I also like to make my own decisions lol

Not gonna lie though, the power struggle is a turn on~

I wasn't sure which choice I wanted to go with, so I tried them all.

The first choice resulted in Lucifer basically dismissing us/brushing off our comment.

The second choice earned a pretty snarky/lowkey hostile comment from Lucifer.

In the end, I chose the third option.

That's a very bold claim you're making there, Lucifer. Try not to be too overconfident~

Ugh, there it is... "In fact, I know you far better than you know yourself."

Realistically speaking, if anyone ever said that to me, I would instinctively respond with an annoyed "fuck you."

But that's not an option here. And I can agree that staying in the Devildom would be the best choice, since I would be happiest in the Devildom.

Only problem is that we have to return to the "present", a detail that Lucifer is still unaware of.

Still.... Claiming to know us better than we know ourselves... for some reason, that statement makes my skin crawl.

It feels soooooooo manipulative to me. And declaring it as "fact" makes it even worse.

And yet... there's something about manipulative Lucifer that I really like~ (≖⌣≖)

I know, I'm fucked up and have equally fucked up kinks lol

Then we reach this part :

You supposedly know me better than anyone else, myself included, yet you laugh when I say that I feel depressed?!

He really is a sadist... (˶ •̀⤙•́ ˶ )

As someone who actually does have depression, this would have likely pissed me off while also making me feel super sad/gloomy lol

Though I know Lucifer probably didn't mean it in a bad or negative way. I think he's just enjoying the challenge that comes with our stubbornness. It may seem like I'm making excuses for him, which I absolutely am. And that's because I love this sadistic old man, so it's all good xD

[fanaticastrid]

Your Local SQUIP Fanatic's Probably Way Too Overthought Overanalysis Of The SQUIP (and why I don't think it was evil on purpose)

Because I said I'd make a more in-depth version as this is something I find stupidly interesting. And yeah... this took forever, I kept getting distracted. Woops, sorry.

Anyways, I made an analysis about this before, but I wanted to expand on it because the SQUIP is my favorite character and god damn it I need to yap about them. Let me recap on my prior one-

My copy of the book is tied to the Broadway musical, and it includes an intro from Joe Tracz and Joe Iconis. When talking about how they made changes in the musical, I quote, "The squip in our show proves more insidious than Ned's- though, as in the novel, our squip is a learning AI, which means its bad behavior is simply a reflection of the world around it." I noted that this seemed to be why it turned evil- what it saw in other people. After all, isn't it what sparked "The Pitiful Children?"

It had done what it could for Jeremy at the time, and it saw how his peers were. Remember, it's present and onstage for multiple interactions with the rest of the cast, there's NO way it didn't think on how it could possibly help them as well as Jeremy. And what was that solution? To squip them, too! Surely if it made a loser like Jeremy become popular and more cool (excuse me, chill) then perhaps if the other had squips, it'd help them all, too!

"All your peers are just so incomplete/You can't see it, but they're all in pain/Their operating systems obsolete/So let's complete the chains/And get inside those brains!"

The SQUIP WANTS to help, as it's programmed to do! Seeing how Jeremy and his peers are miserable in their own ways, it went with what it believed to be the most effective and logical solution to the problem. Obviously it went very wrong and went much too far in doing this, but doesn't the fact it's a learning AI help us understand its behavior?

After all, we know how much of an ass it was to Jeremy. It'd probably chuck him over the horizon if it could. But why? Well, I have a thought on this, too. If its bad behavior is a reflection of its surroundings, then perhaps Jeremy himself is to blame? It's possible the SQUIP picked up on his negative self-esteem, and used it on him before turning to a somewhat more positive approach, as we can see in Be More Chill Part 1 and 2.

"Everything about you sucks! Everything about you is so terrible! Everything about you makes me want to die!" to "If if listen to me, everything about you will be so wonderful! Alive! Everything about you will be so cool, and powerful! Popular and incredible!"

I COULD be misremembering as it's been a hot minute since I watched the musical, but I don't believe the SQUIP becomes actively hostile until The Play, when its plan is realized by Jeremy and Michael, armed with Mountain Dew Red, is very much able to deactivate it...

"I'M GOING TO IMPROVE YOUR LIFE, JEREMY! EVEN IF I HAVE TO TAKE OVER THE ENTIRE STUDENT BODY TO DO IT!!"

Things go completely off the rails, the SQUIP think it's doing the right thing, it tries one last effort to continue... and bam, is deactivated. At least, mostly, as it lives in "Voices In My Head" as nothing but an easily ignored voice in Jeremy's head. All it did was to aid its user in what it believed to be the most efficient way to help- "Help them to help you!"- and it's pretty pissed that it can't follow it programing anymore.

So no, despite how much of a dick the SQUIP was, I don't think it was evil on purpose. It's a learning AI following it programming and clearly got exposed to too much negative stuff and went a wee bit haywire. It completely overstepped itself in doings it whole "make you be more chill" thing, and now it forever lives with the consequences.

I do encourage others to add on to this! I'm no master analysist, so this isn't perfect whatsoever.

[raylenships]

This is an urgent call to action. This is getting so utterly ridiculous. It feels like the beginning of a war tbh and here's why:

I've considered myself a believer in Taekook for years now. I support them and love seeing them together. But I also love seeing Jungkook and Jimin together. Their friendship as well as Tae and Jimin's friendship means a lot to me and it was so cool to see all three of them come together for those few Are You Sure eps!

But the recent news about the sheer amount of hate Jungkook and Jimin have gotten because of a simple trip is outrageous. It makes me ashamed to be part of the Taekook community. This should not be who we are. I made a post earlier today poking fun at Jikookers and I have to admit I might have gone a bit overboard with the 'poking' aspect. It was more like I was purposely kicking a hornet's nest and for that I apologize. I was mad because it seemed like those videos/pics should never have been shared in the first place and so many jkkers were celebrating instead of focusing on the fact that the boys' security had been trampled on. That's no excuse for my somewhat mean teasing comments though. Again I apologize.

Being a Taekooker has seemed to immediately give me a stereotype that I don't fit into and the ppl who have placed me in that stereotype are jkkers themselves. But I'm sure there are some Jkkers who feel the same way and have had the exact same thing done to them. We really aren't that different but the reason for that is because a huge amount of both these communities is full of toxic hateful shippers who spread hate and uncalled for disapproval just to uplift their favorite pairing. It's not okay. It really really isn't okay. I've met people from both communities who are genuinely lovely people but it's sad that I've come across more toxic shippers from both sides than anyone else.

I feel so ashamed right now because of what toxic shippers are saying about Jungkook and Jimin. And for what? A trip? A simple little trip that they're supposed to be using to relax and film content for our entertainment and benefits? Is this how we repay them? What happens when they reveal their real life partners? Seriously? What happens then? Are we going to lose half the fandom? Or are they going to spread such a huge amount of hate that the members are forced to do something drastic like delete social media and cancel concerts?

I honestly hope it's the first option because the BTS fandom could use a deep clean. Being a shipper isn't a bad thing if you decide to respect the rest of the members and not spread such insane amounts of hate and toxicity online. I don't know what else I can do to try and stop this other than raise awareness. I love all seven of the members with all my heart; they're like the older brothers I never had and seeing them being hated on for absolutely no reason makes me feel like my own family is being targeted.

Maybe I'm not in the right place to be saying this. Maybe I've said some things in the past that contradict what I'm saying now. Anything i've said in hostility i apologize for right now because i care so much more for the members' happiness and safety than i do for petty ship wars. Now is now and what I'm saying in this moment is what I truly think. This needs to stop. If we're going to be shippers, we have to be the kind of shippers that don't shun other members and that show respect towards them. Our job right now is to call out anyone ANYONE whether it's from the opposite ship community or someone on the inside of your own ship community. Tkkers and Jkkers have terrible reputations but not all of them fit those standards. The few who actually show respect towards every member, we have to fix this. This can't keep happening. We need to help protect all three of our idols, otherwise we will be letting them down and disappointing them just as much as the toxic shippers are.

Again, I don't know who will listen to me. But I'm making a call right now for anyone who feels the same way, Tkkers and Jkkers alike. As a worried Tkker, i don't want to fight with the Jkkers who equally care about all three boys. We might not see eye to eye but the one thing we agree on is that none of them deserves the hate. It's gone on for too long and crossed the line. If you love them all, you need to help stop this.

Please.

[yanderes-galore]

Could you write a yandere concept for Karin (f&h 2: termina)?

Sure! I researched her wiki so I hope things are in character :) Here's some HCs for her. I really have to play the game for myself but I just... hate the idea of dying over and over again and relying on luck to have a good run.

Yandere! Karin Sauer Concept

Pairing: Romantic/Platonic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Stalking, Manipulation, Jealousy, Overprotective behavior, Violence, Secret picture taking, Threats, Murder, Blood, Forced relationship/companionship.

Karin is a reporter and assertive woman who refuses to believe in the occult no matter what anyone says.

She always tries to take a rational route to understand things... but she still remains cautious during the festival.

Armed with a knife and handgun, she went on the train to research the Kaiser and "New Gods" for a paper and answers about her father's death.

She's determined, impulsive, short tempered, and dismissive of others.

Even in her first meeting with her potential obsession, she's dismissive of their help and goes off to find answers herself.

In a lot of her dialogue, she us hostile towards people like Daan and doesn't like to consider the idea of magic or religion.

The only time she decides to be cooperative and take help from others is later on when she realizes there's more danger than she can handle.

I imagine Karin comes off as hostile towards you at times.

She acts like she doesn't want your help... but deep down she really does appreciate it.

Karin enjoys discussing theories on what could've happened in the Termina Festival as long as you don't try to say it's occult related (it is, but she's in denial)

Karin's skills are routed in persuasion, lockpicking, handguns, and knives.

She wants to talk things out with others before turning to violence.

You could also argue she'd be charismatic, especially with her obsession to get them on her side most of the time.

If Karin antagonizes other contestants, her obsession may actually be able to break the fight up.

Her temper does not help when she's jealous or... any part of her obsession.

She tries not to be violent for both you and her... but she can be so mean towards other contestants near you.

She isn't new to violence, if tempted she'll no doubt use it.

But she does try to listen to her obsession and holds herself back.

Despite her hostility, Karin shows cares for her darling.

When she isn't taking pictures or trying to rationalize with herself... she checks in with you.

Even if you believed in the occult, she may tolerate that when it comes to you.

Everyone needs some way to rationalize with themselves.

Karin, in terms of rivalry, may be the most volatile with Daan or O'saa.

She has the most hostile experiences with them, so if her obsession was close with any of them she may be more irritable.

If she snapped at her obsession, she'd immediately regret it and apologize once she's attached.

If you two had to separate for any reason, Karin probably couldn't stay away from you.

Even if you told her to stay at the train for a bit, she'll follow you secretly.

She worries about your survival skills and thinks she's just... protecting you.

Karin seems like a yandere who would take pictures of her obsession and hide them away in her jacket.

It's all done in secret... and if she's ever caught she'll threaten others to keep it secret or just straight up deny it.

Karin, even though she tries to prevent it, could kill.

Maybe she sees a contestant too close to you... and plans to kill them.

When you catch her with her knife bloody or her gun smoking... she has her excuses.

"They were going to hurt you! After all, isn't this a killing game? You can't trust anyone here... except for each other, right?"

She then steps closer, a smile on her face as she puts away her weapons.

"You can trust me, love... I'm protecting you from this foul city."

The moment she starts trying to convince you the other contestants are going to harm you is when things go downhill.

As the timer ticks down, Karin slowly starts to take those out around you.

Party members aren't safe as Karin monitors them to see what their intentions with you are.

They'll still fall by her hand.

Karin can try threats... but if that doesn't work it isn't like she hasn't killed before.

She soon gives up persuasion.

Just words won't work for her... she needs to know she'll have you safe and beside her.

Like most contestants, I can see her locking you in a room until you both Moonscorch.

Her attempts to rationalize her behavior and the events happening make her go crazy.

By the time she locks you away, her clothes are covered in blood and she's holding you still.

"You aren't going to die like an animal out there..."

Karin whispers in your ear, crazed eyes never leaving yours.

"I'll keep you here... with me... safe and sound..."

Her mind is corrupted due to the timer ticking down... Moonscorch approaching both of you.

Of course... deep down she probably knows you aren't safe anywhere.

However... that doesn't stop her from clinging to you, caressing your cheek lovingly as she presses a kiss to your forehead.

The blood coats your skin as she hugs you tighter.

You jolt for a moment when the photos she took of you fall out of her pocket... you try to squirm, but she silences you.

"Just relax... I won't hurt you. No one can hurt you now...."

Escape was always a distant dream.

As the timer ends... Moonscorch occurs.

You become a lost soul meant for the Valkyrie to guide and care for... forever meant to roam the decaying lands of this hell.

[to-thelakes]

I'm watching Moon Knight (again) to help me go to sleep and I've rewatched episode 1 so so many times on nights like tonight but I still absolutely adore all the little details.

Like, okay so when Steven wakes up in the Alps (I think that's where it is), Khonshu says "go to sleep, worm" and okay, first watch and without knowing the context of Jake existing, that makes sense. Khonshu doesn't like Steven which we learn more and more as the series goes on but then he says a few lines later "the idiot's in control" in that same scene in the Alps.

There is such a clear shift in attitude between 'go to sleep, worm' and 'The idiot's in control' and it's so obvious on a rewatch that Khonshu is talking to two different people with each line.

He's referring to Jake as 'worm' and he thinks that telling him to simply 'go back to sleep' would work because Jake is aware of the alters and their situation. Although from the brief glimpses we get of Jake, we know that he is an... interesting guy yet we can gather that he at least has some sort of alliance/respect/something going on with Khonshu. However, when he realises it's Steven, it's not hostility in the same way. It's more exasperated frustration. He's mad at Marc for letting Steven suddenly appear rather than being annoyed at Jake for making a random appearance. The way that the dialogue is written just exposes so much on a rewatch.

But going back to Jake/Khonshu even if they do have some respect, it's also pretty obvious that Khonshu does not want Jake around. I'd speculate that that's probably because if Marc loses time when he knows that he's not in London as Steven, that would create suspicion. Suspicion that Khonshu wouldn't want because that would put their avatar/God relationship at risk.

Though, I also suspect that Khonshu and Jake probably were working together but Marc never became aware because Jake worked at nights (maybe why Steven is so goddamn tired) or simply took over while Marc thought that Steven was in control.

I know that the Moon Knight portrayal is not the most accurate DiD portrayal but from my research, there's this whole idea of like different levels of awareness. Like the blackouts for Steven are because he initially has no awareness of the other alters. Then when Steven and Marc black-out, it's because neither of them are aware that there is a third alter aka Jake. Which means that Jake can do things for Khonshu while Marc believes that he is in London and neither Marc nor Steven would be aware.

I'm kind of just rambling about the show at this point but also, what I find really interesting every time I rewatch is the date thing. So, right, if Marc was the one that set-up the date why would he let Steven stand her up without saying anything to her? Marc isn't exactly the best guy when it comes to romance but he is incredibly protective over Steven because he wants to protect him from Khonshu. So, why in the world would he let the whole date rejection thing happen?

Because it wasn't Marc. It was Jake. Jake asked out Steven's colleague and that also makes sense why they went to a steak place. Jake doesn't give a f*ck about Steven's veganism while Marc absolutely would. Marc wants to protect Steven so he wouldn't make such a silly mistake.

But Jake would. Honestly, at this point, convinced that Jake just wanted to fuck with the Moonboys and Khonshu just played along.

I don't know.

I always find the dynamics of the Moonboys so interesting and I love how even when you rewatch it, there are new little discoveries that you can make. Like there was so much love, thought and attention put into this show?? It makes me SO SO happy.

This show honestly means the world to me and excuse the ramble/rant but I just love talking about my Moonboys and I never really get to speculate or discuss the show. I talk about it with my dad but being at uni means that I do not get to ramble at him as often. So, tumblr gets it instead.

But yeah, they're my (not very) astute observations about my beloved Moon Knight

[zarekthelordofthefries]

People defending Frieren's fantasy-racism has me pissed off again, so I'm gonna try to channel the energy I could be using to argue with losers online into a more productive analysis post.

The thing that frustrates me most about "always evil" species in fantasy isn't actually when a story just has a species that's always evil. That's racist and boring and I hate it, but it's not the kind that gets me really angry.

The kinds of Always Evil that really get my goat are the times when the writers actually put a little more thought into it. They give some explanation for why the species behaves a certain way. And ostensibly, that should be a good start; Always Evil species are typically born out of simplification, incuriosity, and artistic laziness, so actually putting some thought into it should fix the problems, right?

But what ends up happening so often in these stories is that any exploration of the reasons behind a hostile species' behavior has a specific narrative purpose, and that purpose is to justify hurting them. Lemme give a couple examples:

Frieren. The show (I haven't read the manga but from what I understand it's similar in this respect) demonstrates that the reason demons are so dangerous is that they don't fully understand human morality. Demons look human and can speak, but they developed those attributes as a survival mechanism. We see a demon child who repeats phrases she explicitly doesn't understand because it makes humans hesitate to hurt her. She kills someone, but does it in an attempt at altruism, because she thought it would make other humans happy with her. She's not cruel, she's just trying to survive and doesn't understand what makes humans scared of her.

But while the demon child is a fascinating character who presents incredible story opportunities to explore social contracts and neurodivergence and xenophobia, the show...doesn't do any of that. All of that background, the entire character of the demon child, exists to justify the main character's belief that demons are inherently duplicitous and should be wiped out. And the narrative doesn't push back on this at all -- according to the story, she's right. Demons don't understand morality and that means they should be driven extinct.

Another example I think about a lot is the vorcha from Mass Effect. Codex entries about the vorcha as a species have some really interesting worldbuilding that I genuinely like a lot; they're aliens who heal rapidly and are highly-adaptable to physical trauma. As a result of this, they've become one of the setting's Warrior Race Guys, always showing up in the games as mercenaries and gangsters and hitmen, but their reason for having such combat-focused societies is a side-effect of their biology: what doesn't kill them literally makes them stronger, so hurting each other is also helping each other. They don't put moral weight on combat because if you survive, they've done you a favor. The more they beat up on each other, the stronger their whole community (and their whole species) becomes.

Which is really cool! Except...they don't matter in the games. Vorcha are not one of the species that is especially relevant to Mass Effect's story. Ultimately what all this adds up to is...an excuse for why the vorcha show up as mooks throughout gameplay. That's all they are, as far as the narrative cares; they're stupid, violent goblins, and all that fascinating worldbuilding isn't used to characterize any of them in interesting ways, it's just there to add some set dressing to a species of gun-toting mobs that you mow down in numbers.

These examples bug me so much because there IS thought here, there's consideration for verisimilitude, but what does that consideration actually serve in the narrative? All these explanations do is move the "evil races" they involve out of the territory of the common flimsy excuse for these things: the idea that it doesn't matter if it's unrealistic to have "always evil races," because it's fiction, so who cares? This excuse sucks, obviously, but these examples can't even hide behind it, because they've put enough thought into it to try to make it realistic. Ultimately what they're saying is "Actually, here's how it would be realistic for an entire race of people to all be evil and for it to be okay to murder them en masse. It is possible under these circumstances!" which...is honestly a vastly more sinister idea, I think.

But besides that, besides any moral element to the narrative...it's so boring? It's so disappointingly boring?? I think there is room for xenofiction and exploration of alternate modes of thinking that other species could exhibit, I think it's realistic that an alien species might struggle to think the way we do about something and vice versa. But these stories are using that as a flimsy excuse for oversimplification, a handwave, a thin veil over the actual narrative purpose of these species, which is that the writer wants intelligent species as enemies without any of those pesky concerns about murdering people. While individual ideas in these examples might be interesting and nuanced, when you take the stories they're wrapped up in as a whole, all they amount to is a pretty hat on top of "you can kill these human-shaped Things freely, because it's fun."

[thevoidstaredback]

Void, what're your thoughts on current politics?

Oh, no. I have been tricked into having this conversation once already today, and I'm not going to have it again. I couldn't get a word in after sharing my initial opinion and thoughts with my uncle, so I'm not opening that can of words again.

But, we've had political discussions before; we share a lot of the same views if not opinions.

Yeah, that's what I thought about my uncle, dad, grandparents, and even some friends. We may agree on a lot of things, but my experiences have led me to realize that no matter how well we get on, either of us could say something and we're suddenly hostile.

Like what?

Well, I have strong opinions and views on human rights as a whole, but specifically women's and LGBTQA+ rights.

You know what I think about that stuff.

Do I? Because we've never really had an in depth discussion; Only shared jokes and dislike/hatred for a few of the injustices.

Shouldn't that tell you my stance?

A little bit, yeah, but there's a lot more that needs to be talked about. For example, I know you support LGBQA identities, but what about T?

You know I support the others, so why would Trans folk be any different?

You just never know. I know people who support Lesbians and Gays, but are aphobic and transphobic. I know some people who don't support aro or ace identities, but everything else. There's a lot of niche topics that could potentially turn our relationship - friendly though it may be - hostile or strained.

Hm. I've never really thought about that. I figured that an ally to one was an ally to all.

That's not quite how that works. I think a more accurate way of saying would be 'an ally of one is an ally of none'. Every Queer identity is tied into each other, at least a little bit, if not closely related, so how can you possibly be in full support of one without being in full support of another?

That's.... actually given me a bit to think about. What about current events? We agree on pretty much all of those.

'Pretty much all' is your key phrase, man. There's a lot of shitty things that're happening in the world, most of which can be sourced to political influence. But, as I've found out through some of the same as well as different people, what I think shouldn't be happening/should be stopped, you could think should keep happening. Like, as another example, the fires in California. I think they're horrible tragedies and I pray that they stop soon, but a lot of people I've talked to say that the fires are supposed to be raging because the [LDS] Bible and religious figureheads say, in so many words, that California will sink in the last days. I've also heard people use their religion, LDS again, to excuse the hell that Israel has somehow excused as 'self defense'.

But I'm not religious. I haven't been for nearly a decade now.

I know, but you can not be religious and still follow some of the same ideals, good or bad in the opinions of others.

But, that's cherry-picking, isn't it?

Yeah, it is, and everyone - including myself, admittedly - does it. Cherry-picking information, maybe even going so far as to twist meanings, is unavoidable.

Completely?

Almost, yeah.

Hm

[melancholic-pigeon]

During my class, we talked about the difference between like, Catholic guilt versus the kind of atonement that's associated with Yom Kippur. The phrasing that was used was "course correction", which my moral OCD really found helpful. It's not "you're a terrible person who must suffer in repentance", it's "Who do I want to be? Where did I stray in being that person over the last year? How can I correct my course so that I am closer to the person I want to be next year?"

I talked to my therapist about certain things that recently happened that I won't devote any more air time to specifics on unless I'm forced by someone else's actions. And I've been thinking about it and turning it over in my head, because it still has me pretty shaken!

But basically, I got a very clear, very vivid image of the kind of person who says "Kindness is so important, unless I'm the one being unkind, then it's okay". I found a pattern of unkindness and justifications afterwards for said unkindness. I realized the path I've been going down this past year leads to a destination I find revulsive.

I don't want to be mean. I don't want to let my anger eat through my load bearing walls. I don't want to be the kind of person who snaps in anger, who defends others snapping in anger, who spends her time justifying her outbursts of poor emotional regulation and who blames everyone but myself for my own big feelings.

I've been down this path before, and it's something I'm ashamed of. I don't like being full of rage, but it's way too easy for me to get swept up in someone else's excuses for why their own uncontrolled rage isn't destructive and totally won't ruin all their relationships or give them a reputation for being a combative hair-trigger who will scream at people over innocuous things or miscommunications and then scream at them more for tone policing when told screaming at people for misunderstandings is rude.

I don't want to be fueled by anger. I don't want to be bitter and mean and judgmental and suspicious. I don't want to turn into the kind of person who spends their day arguing on tumblr dot com about how actually I am special enough to be trusted with the death note because I am a Good Person who would only use it on evil people. I don't want to be the kind of person who lashes out every time I misunderstand someone and then punishes them for clearing up the misinterpretation because it made me look bad.

I don't want to be a bully. I don't want to enable bullies. I don't want to defend bullying. And I want to get better at actually listening to the voice in my head (maybe the voice of HaShem) telling me "Hey, you know better than this, you know this is wrong, why are you letting a charismatic bully sway your actions and pull you along to defend them?"

So, yeah. This year I'm working on improving my de-escalation skills and getting a much tighter rein on my anger. Rage is like fire: it's a great source of energy, but it will also destroy you completely and turn everything you love into ash if you don't keep. it. controlled.

I want to reaffirm that it's not okay to blow up at people because you're having a bad day. That if I've done this to you, I'm really, deeply fucking sorry, and I use that in the New England Intensifier way. I fucked up a number of times over this past year, I'm not okay with it, I don't WANT to be okay with it, and I'm just...sick of being angry. I'm sick of watching people hurt each other. I'm sick of being complicit. I'm sick of holding the idea that "being mean is not praxis" is a controversial viewpoint that should be kept away from activism rather than a preschool level ground rule for how not to actively make your community worse and more hostile.

I'm tired of all of it. I don't want to be in this place anymore. It's dangerous to all of us when we lean into the idea that our anger is paramount and angry responses are always justified.

I just....if your behavior towards other activists on your side is to treat them like you're the mustachioed villainous husband in a lifetime movie about an abused soccer mom and then criticize others for telling you that's shitty, that's a bad thing! But I've historically been way too easy to shame into accepting this premise, and it doesn't matter why I ended up there. What matters is that I did, in fact, enable this behavior from people, excuse this behavior from people, and defend proponents of this behavior. And I hate that I did it, but I did.

Frankly, it makes me ill to think about. But it makes me more ill to think about not even trying to do better.

This year, I'm trying to do better.

Fast easy if you're fasting, everyone ✡️

[velvetvexations]

That sounds a lot like my interpretation of Boys Will Be Bugs~!

I bent over backwards and crafted an elaborate theory as to why Eminem's Abracadabra isn't too terribly transphobic, I can't judge anyone for making excuses for the media that's important to them.

I don't think characters just being heroic and sympathetic necessarily covers getting something like this badly wrong, but a lot of other Velveteers also chimed in, including this anon:

(Just realized this is pretty silly, feel free to ignore me/not answer this, I just saw One Piece mentioned and the hyperfixation jumped out.) But just to go to bat for One Piece a smidge as someone who is trans and read all of it, while yeah Okama(Queen Ivan) leaned very transmisognistc(which was made worse in the anime for some reason??) the intention for him, his subjects, and the other gender fluid character, Bon Clay, was meant to be good. It fell HELLA short, but there was an attempt at least. However!! I did want to add, the comic has been going on for a long time, and by one of the more recent arcs with two new, very clearly openly trans characters, things are MUCH better! The transfem one, Kiku, says outright when asked that she's a woman at heart which is accepted by everyone, and her story was really sweet and made me tear up(her anger is never treated as predatory or masculine, she's allowed to just be a woman who is also a samurai), and the other transmasc one, Yamato, is referred to as a boy by everyone despite him not changing his presentation at all, which is pretty rad imo given how hostile people can be to transmasc people with breasts, and both characters are allowed to bathe in the baths that match their genders at the end of the arc. They were still a little messy in the "yeah this wasn't written by a trans person" way, and certain misogynistic/transphobic parts of of the fandom on reddit get a little weird about Yamato, but I didn't see anything glaringly wrong with the way either of them was written like with Okama or Bon Clay. The vibe I got from the comic was that early on Oda meant well and included some characters who were intended to be positive rep but were messy and fell very short, but as time passed he figured it out and the more recent ones are genuinely phenomenal rep. Ofc that doesn't mean you need to read/watch OP(especially since again the transmisogny is worse in the anime?? still don't understand what happened there but Oda had no control over it) like god I would never tell anyone to do that lol, but I did want to just chime in and offer a perspective from someone who read it and felt like the more recent rep was really good and worth mentioning. Oda has his issues for sure, and has a lot to make up for, but based on what I've read he IS making up for it.

And, honestly, that makes me really happy! Oda always seemed like a cool guy and it's great to know he is in fact a real cool guy. According to @changelingfangs in the replies, he's friends with people in the subculture he based a lot of those characters on.

They're now just openly accusing me of not being a trans woman because trans women don't identify as AMAB and I'm apparently hostile to every trans woman that talks about transmisogyny.

...no?

It's a good theory and I think that plays a part in it for sure, but I think mostly it's just thinking it's the worse thing because it's their group's oppression. It again kinna goes back to that Lennon/Ono song with the n-word in the title, that's just how radical feminism works, trans/misogyny is the only thing that really matters.

Still, interesting thread to have spotted here and I think it's in that soup somewhere.

imagine thinking using a meme format is asserting a cultural claim to it

like seriously, has any Black person ever said that there was something wrong with "deracializing" either or even both characters in the Dis _ Look So Mad meme by substituting them with white characters?

[slickshoesareyoucrazy]

Two Deaths

Obviously I've written a whole bunch here about my best friend A dying 2 Decembers ago. It's changed so much about my life. About me. I'm permanently altered by his death. I still miss him every day. I'm still sad enough to cry about it regularly. I'll tear up now writing this if I think about it too much. No one got any paid bereavement leave for A dying. I work for a very nice organization and for a very kind person, specifically, so I got to work through my grief without losing my job anyway, but J sure as hell didn't get any allotted time off for me. Our son didn't get any excused absences from school. A was a sudden, totally unforeseen, utterly devastating loss for me and he was a loss felt by J and our son. It changed me, so it changed all of us at least a little. And no one sanctioned my grief, really. There are only a handful of deaths that 'count' when it comes to people in your life giving you grace about it. Best Friend isn't one of them.

One that does count, as far as society is concerned, is your parent, or your spouse's parent. Clearly I'm not saying those deaths shouldn't count. Our sons best friend's mother works with me, and a few months ago she came into work crying. I thought there had been a recent death of someone close to her, so, having A on my mind as he regularly to always is, I offered my condolences. And she said there was no 'fresh' loss; she had just been thinking of her father-in-law that morning, who died right after she married her husband. Her father-in-law never got to meet her children, and that morning something good had happened with my sons best friend that she knew her father-in-law would be proud of, would have loved to have heard about, would have made a fuss over her son for it. "It just made me sad to think that *my favorite person* that's not <her husband> wouldn't get to know my children; my children will never really know him." She was so close to her father-in-law she called him her favorite person besides her husband. Was still mourning his loss more than 18 years later. That long lead in all to say that J's dad died late Sunday night. We have known it was coming since July when doctors did emergency surgery and found cancer he decided not to treat after an ER visit. We put a lot of backbreaking work into fixing up his house, but he was still so coarse and hostile and ungrateful we haven't gotten closer to him emotionally. He hasn't acknowledged my son's birthday in the last 7 years at least. He didn't acknowledge J's last year. He wasn't senile. He was just mean. J was never close to his dad, never thought much of his dad and how he ran his family or treated his mother. J's dad certainly never cared for me. He did do a lot of obligatory work for his dad during the course of our relationship though; things he took days off work to do. Fix things. Buy things. Handle things. I took time off work early in our marriage too, because despite having the ability to rent a car himself, he insisted that J drive 10 hours one way to pick him up in another state and drive the 10 hours back home. I wouldn't let J do it alone, so I blew vacation time on that too. J didn't cry when his sister texted him the news Monday morning. Our son barely knows J's father. Only has few and fleeting memories of even seeing him. He saw A more and he lived 6 hours away in another state. So our son and I didn't cry either. Nothing has really changed in our life as a family or individually either that I can see, except maybe a sense of relief. J is still whistling along to the road trip playlist as we approach home. But our son will get an excused absence for that funeral Monday. J will get 3 days paid off work. I'll get time too.

It doesn't seem fair to me that some relationships 'count' as far as acceptable grief is concerned and some don't. Just trying to keep myself awake on the road by writing about what's on my mind, which is contrasting these two deaths.

[reitheist]

bucchigiri ep 9 thoughts:

taken over huh... is that also what senya is doing to arajin maybe? like with the magic trampstamp (words i never expected to write...)

shindo is a bitch and pathetic but i enjoy his character unfortunately (in my defense, my interpretation of him threatening to do That to mahoro was just to make arajin pissed and get him to reveal senya. i think it was kind of narrative low-hanging fruit honestly.)

'is that a yes or no' take a wild fucking guess buddy

zabuuuuuu you are such a good friend

senya hitting people as a show of affection lol

matakara gathering money, presumably he was saving to get an apartment with his brother. what's he planning to use it for?

oh my godddd the cat boy drama 💀 this side gag is so stupid but so funny i love it. i imagine jasmine as as a pure white long hair cat and pu'er as a classic brown tabby. also cat boy getting way too invested in his personal life is *chefs kiss*

arajin is trying his absolute best to convince himself he doesn't care about matakara

the dynamic between komao, zabu, and ara is really funny. i think in other shows they might just sideline the friend characters but they really have an awkward 'friend of a friend' dynamic i like. komao isn't really socially aware enough to be mean to ara despite being him being mean to matakara, and zabu is more hostile but puts most of that aside for matakara's sake. it's like your friends scoping out your awful crush lmao

THE LIFE SIZED NAKED MARITO DOLL? EXCUSE ME??? there is so much wrong with mahoro oml

wait is the life sized naked marito doll marito's? that's somehow weirder.

mahoro, is that concern for a person who isn't your brother? wow

matakara :(

so is the 'monster' literal or metaphorical? interesting

ichiya you're hot as hell but stop telling matakara to draw away from his friends you bitch

'one person would've wanted it' stopppppp 😭 arajin is realizing he liked having matakara around while matakara is being turned against his friends by ichiya. the dramatic irony is killing me

the fact that this 'love forever stone' is a lake blue stone wrapped specifically in a blue cloth as well... that thing is definitely going to be given to matakara by the end, right? pretty gay if you ask me.

ohhhh my god mahoro character growth. plus her relating to him specifically through their shared brother idolization is a good touch. very sweet

mahoro's basically saying like "dude how are you only focused on yourself and me right now. how have you not noticed your childhood friend is depressed and crazy in love with you. like seriously he has not been subtle. at all." lmao i love herrrrrrr

mahoro deserves her own show

also relieved to have ara's interpretation of matakara and mahoro's relationship as romantic to be kind of trivialized again in this scene. i think their dynamic is more interesting as two very different personalities which share just enough to relate with each other. she only wants ara to get his shit together for matakara's sake. i want them to be besties please

arajin is The Worst with emotions huh. he can't read other's feelings and he's somehow worse at reading his own. he needs to stop being relatable right this second

yknow at this point i think i can say i truly and properly enjoy arajin as a character. he's mostly an asshole and deeply emotionally unintelligent but i like him regardless and because of it

ah senya ichiya and arajin matakara parallels as i expected

so does senya=matakara and ichiya=arajin kind of?

i really wasn't joking about them being exes huh

stoppppp ichiya gave him his name? senya was and continues to be so ridiculously down bad

'he meant absolutely everything to me.' dude.

senya is trying to get ara and matakara together bc he couldn't do that for him and ichiya

i am so gd curious what happened to drive them apart

matakara losing sight why he wanted to become a honki person in the first place (ara) and trying to destroy it

'what senya wants is your body' context needed.

i'm thinking maybe ichiya is willing to fully take over bodies and senya isn't, thus why he hasn't done it to arajin already. that or he was planning to in the beginning but got too attached

ohhh this is gonna make for a good dramatic fight

ughhhh another really good episode. i think the story's finally full found its stride. very hyped for the last 3 episodes. i think next episode will probably deal with betrayal between senya and ara, leading senya to explain exactly what happened between him and ichiya. matakara will trying to fight ara and ara will have to run away, frustrating matakara even more. mahoro might focus on trying to help matakara

[a-pink-beau]

FFXIV Write 2024 #24 - Bar

Summary: Beau goes to the bar after a very long adventure. Gets some unwanted company

Content Warnings: Indirect Transphobia

Spoilers: Endwalker

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The star is safe. The Final Days are now behind the people of Etheirys.

And Beau could use a drink.

It is fairly late at Mehryde's Meyhane, and very quiet. The people celebrating have gone home, leaving a handful of solitary individuals, nursing their drinks. Beau is one of them.

She has much to think about. What to do with herself now that there are no more wars, people to save, or evil to defeat. She had thrown her life on the line multiple times in the last few days, and somehow she came out of it all alive. Facing the Endsinger, then Zenos, alive is the last thing she expected to be after all was said and done.

And this type of contemplation requires alcohol.

Two drinks and three shots in, Beau found herself sliding her near-empty drink from one hand to another. Everyone around her is happy, but she can't seem to bring herself to feel the same way.

Her train of thought is interrupted by someone taking a seat in the stool on her right, waving down the bartender, and ordering a drink.

He doesn't look like a regular. He doesn't even look like he is from Radz-at-Han at all. 

Beau looks to her left to see a half dozen empty stools running down the bar. Then she looks to her right, at this man who is glancing at her in his periphery as he takes a drink.

The Warrior of Light sighs, then polishes off the last of her drink. She knows what's coming next. She has a fan sitting next to her.

“Can I help you?” Beau is rarely in the mood to play celebrity, especially not tonight. The man shifts in his seat to face her at a 45 degree, a smug smile appears on his face.

“You're the Warrior of Light, aren't you?”

Beau wishes she had more liquid left in her cup.

“A Warrior of Light. Not the,” Beau replies, correcting him. The man raises his hands in a feigned apologetic way, still smiling.

“Well excuse me. Just trying to give my thanks. No need for the hostility. It's a simple mistake.” The man turns back toward the bar.

“Don't need your thanks,” Beau says curtly, instinctively going to drink from her empty glass before realising and setting it back down. The man brushes off Beau's words and waves down the bartender again.

“Then how about I at least pay for a drink for the saviour of Rads At Hawn?” The man stumbles through the name of the city. Beau examines him. He doesn't look drunk enough to mess that up.

“Not the. A. As in one of multiple.” Beau said, watching the bartender approach them.

“One more of what she was just having for this one, if you would.” The man starts rifling through his gil purse for payment. Beau swiftly pulls gil from her own purse and slaps it down on the bar first. The bartender takes her money and quickly gets her another glass.

The man huffs as he takes his hand off his gil.

“Eh, semantics. I mean isn't it true that the other one died somewhere and you lot brought back a new one to take his place?” The bartender sets Beau's new drink down in front of her. “That'd make you the leader by seniority alone, wouldn't it?” Beau grabs her drink with an angry grip as she takes a swig. She isn't liking what she's hearing and the alcohol in her blood is making it impossible to turn the other cheek. She turns to face the man.

“First off, I'm not the leader. Never have been, never will be. So get that through your skull. Second, my friend has done more to save and protect this star than I ever have, so if you want to go throwing around praise, go find the one who actually deserves it. Third, you’re running off bad information, so make sure you know what you're talking about before you go running your mouth.” Beau is not having it with this man. The man still holds onto his smile.

“Heh. Here I thought the Warrior of Light was supposed to be a friendly face to everyone.”

“That's your reasoning for bothering me? Thinking I'd humour you?”

“Oh come on now. From what I hear, the other one is too… soft to have done everything I've heard. No need to pity ‘em. We all know you need to be tough to get things done.”

Beau sets down her drink. She takes a deep breath.

Beau shoots out her leg at the base of the man's stool, kicking it out from under him. The stool rolls along the floor as the man falls where he sat and hits his head on the side of the bar as he goes. 

Beau stands up and looks down at the man on the floor, a hand on the side of his head as he pieces together what just happened.

“Lehon'a is the toughest person I know. You wouldn't last a tenth of a bell in her shoes. Now if you want an example of what tough looks like, since you seem to be lacking in it, I'd be happy to provide examples.” Beau hands tighten into fists. She is ready to beat this man to a pulp. The man looks up at Beau, absolutely bewildered. “If you thought I'd just roll over because I'm supposed to keep up some nice persona, you're dumber than I already think you are.”

The man lays on the ground, frozen in fear. As though he truly never thought someone would ever retaliate against his words. “You know what won the day at the end of it all? Being kind. It takes guts to be kind. Lehon'a has that in spades, while you look like you've got nothin’ inside. But I'm not tough like her. No I'll be mean, just like you.” Beau squats down, her elbows on her knees, now eye level with the man. “I'll get myself dirty. I'll play at your level. Want me to show you?” The man sees violence in her eyes. His fight or flight kicks in and he scrambles backwards away from Beau until he can get his feet under him. He pauses for a moment before turning tail and running out the entrance.

Beau stands back up and looks at the bartender. “Sorry.” She'd likely be hearing from Mehryde in the morning for causing a ruckus. She retrieves the fallen bar stool and returns it to its home before sitting back down in her spot.

Taking another sip of her drink, Beau returns to her thoughts. She truly thought she'd be dead once the Final Days were over, and now had to find purpose.

Keeping pieces of shite like that away from Lehon'a seemed like a good enough purpose. At least that will have to do until I can find something else.

Beau takes another sip of her drink. And for the first time in a long time, Beau let a small smile visit her face.

[funbirdnest]

Atlantis - Below the surface chapter 2

Eichi: It's called Project-ATLANTIS.

Also known as PA. It's a colonization project that ES, which now has its sights set on national domination, put into motion after SS.

Tori: Colonization?

Eichi: Yuzuru, Tori... What do you suppose SS is in the first place?

Yuzuru: It is a historic annual idol festival with a long-standing tradition—It is the largest, most important festival in the idol industry.

... Is how I would answer—But I doubt that you'll be satisfied with such a generic textbook response, correct?

Eichi: Yes. I'm not asking for a formal definition of SS, but rather about its impact on the industry.

Yuzuru: Can you give him an answer, Bocchama?

Tori: Eep! D-Don't put me on the spot like that?! Rather, you should be concerned with demonstrating your worth in front of your master!

Hmm. The SS that was held a few days ago was unprecedentedly large-scale, wasn't it?

It spanned the whole country, and we were able to get local and underground idols to actively participate. Thanks to that, the total number of participating idols was higher than ever before.

But, as a result, almost no local idols made it past the qualifying rounds. The final round was completely monopolized by ES, or more accurately, by Yumenosaki.

Yuzuru: Yes. Some local idols made brief appearances in collaboration with Mikejima-sama. But they were the exception.

Eichi: That's right... SS was held with the pretense of an energizing collaboration with local idols all across the country.

In reality, however, it turned out to be more of a farce that only served to flaunt the strength and authority of ES, which in many ways has become the center of the country.

Ultimately, you can say that was ES's intent all along.

The local idols were mere foils—nothing more than casualties positioned to highlight our—the "main idols'"—brilliance.

Naturally, the local idols found this dissatisfying.

The most radical among them have formed what one might call an anti-ES organization, and are now rioting across the country.

Project-ATLANTIS is one measure with which to pacify these hostile anti-ES forces gathered in such places.

Yuzuru: This is quite the belated response.

Eichi: It's certainly better than doing nothing.

When ES was first established, it was falsely advertised as a "utopia for all idols." For that reason, those who did not directly benefit became quite dissatisfied.

ES was supposed to be an ideal world where "all idols" are able to shine. Then, if we really are idols, why can't we shine?

Yuzuru: It's a natural question and a natural complaint.

Eichi: Fufu. In my opinion, people just navely put their faith in ES' exaggerated advertising

Anyway, if this was the Sengoku period, it would be standard practice to suppress such criminal forces with military power.

Tori: I-Isn't it kind of mean to call them criminals...?

Eichi: I consider it an appropiate expression. ES is a nation, and the forces that oppose it are nothing more than bandits and pirates.

However, although ES continues to make strides like Oda Nobunaga, we still haven't conquered the entire country like Tokugawa Ieyasu (*).

Yuzuru: I think that's a good analogy.

Eichi: Thank you. Right now, ES is in the era of Oda Nobunaga. More precisely, around the time that the anti-Nobunaga network (**) was established.

Yuzuru: I see. That makes it easy to understand.

Tori: Er, I'm sorry, but I don't really get it.

Eichi: You studied history in school, right?

Fools learn from experience; wise men learn from history. Be sure to take your studies seriously while you still have the chance, Tori.

Because, once you grow up, you'll have no choice but to learn things on your own.

Tori: Yeah~ I know this is gonna sound like an excuse... but I haven't been able to study much at school lately.

Eichi: Is something happening at Yumenosaki?

I entrusted all matters over there to Mao, my successor. I don't think it's appropriate for graduates to intervene, so I've generally been staying away.

Yuzuru: Fufu. At present, Yumenosaki Academy is holding an election to determine the next student council president.

Bocchama is running for the student council presidency as well, of course.

Combined with idol work, this is too many irons in the fire. As such, this is a very busy point in time.

Eichi: The student council elections? Huh, this is the first time they've been properly carried out.

We—or rather, mainly Keito—created a model for the student council and then passed it down to Mao, who inherited it.

Tori: As the new president, Isara said that we should actually hold an election.

He said, "I could appoint you, but I don't have much authority, so it'd seem really forced."

If I win the election properly, then I'll be able to attain that kind of authority.

Eichi: That sounds really modern. And it feels like a natural progression.

I like Mao's way of thinking. He understands the limitations of his position—I mean that in a good way.

(*) Eichi is referring to the reunification of Japan at the end of the Sengoku Period (1467-1600). Oda Nobunaga was a feudal lord who raised war against different clans during one of the most tumultous eras of conflict in Japan. Oda set the stage for the reunification of Japan, which was achieved later by Hideyoshi and Ieyasu—the latter becoming the ruler during the beginning of a peaceful period in Japan that lasted until the arrival of Perry and the US Navy.

(**) At the end of the Sengoku era, a group of forces led by Shogun Yoshiaki Ashikaga formed an alliance to rebel against Nobunaga and his allies. The conflict ended with the defeat of the anti-Nobunaga alliance and the expulsion of Yoshiaki from Kyoto.