#this isn't ''mitigation & temporary survival At Best to be understood as much rather than Ideal & To Be Done Forever''

[unproduciblesmackdown]

the "well, perhaps so long as the aba is polite" approach where it's like hey it's not ableism if it's like oh the non normative interactive / socializing / communication elements are "unskilled" so like suddenly this framing of an intrinsic Inferiority is neutral :)

but it's like the non neutrality of going e.g. "ah, autistic people don't have the Social Skills :)" is always There when, i mean, right off the bat, difference is framed as deficiency & inferiority wherein the alleged "skills" of being allistic Must be learned. or else what? is never really addressed despite expecting the audience to know the stakes of "oh You Know what happens if you don't have the 'skills' :)"

and even if pretending that oh it's all simply neutral Misunderstanding these days, somehow it's all about what the nonconforming parties have to Do Differently to fix this. not making the posts telling allistic people how to appeal to autistic people or blend in with them and chiding them if they think they Don't Have To. while, again, it gets to be left unsaid why you Would have to Be Less Autistic. what happens to autistic people when they're around neurotypical(tm) people? versus what happens to nt people around autistic people? how neutral to obscure power difference there like ah the autistics are unskilled and must stop bringing it upon themselves and if they don't They Know What Happens vs the simply so totally skilled neurotypical people are just fine doing whatever and it just so happens to be that if they Misunderstand an autistic person they're just fine & if they don't have "skills" an autistic person does they're just fine & by that not just Unpunished but still In The Right(tm) really

also like gee what a familiar situation for "autistic people need to learn Social Skills, is why [ableism] happens: totally isn't justifying [ableism]" to have that dynamic where the vulnerable group is deemed Responsible for the feelings of the group backed by power structures (and thus, implicitly, their Actions stemming from whatever feelings). like oh the fact that for everyone in pretty much any groups in any contexts, school, work, home, wherever, it's "normal" to have people bullied & ostracized & isolated & scapegoated & pushed out & punished for being unpopular, disliked, weird, annoying, unappealing offputting; that's fine, that should get to happen, and it totally happens for neutral reasons that aren't key everyday instances of maintaining power structures. it's just Normal Socializing that young kids can be replicating norms of white supremacy, patriarchy, ableism; the immediate othering & ostracization & bullying that peers can encounter? sounds like someone Failed to be Normal while those who weren't negatively affected by this are just doing what they're gonna do! forces of nature! being Normal & Skilled as they reject & exclude & bully peers, i know that's right. happening years later in Jobs? sounds like someone's just Failing to be Professional now. not a Team Player, don't have the Skills we need, sorry. all very neutral here

anyways again like what a Familiar dynamic. one party Must be considered to be an unstoppable unmovable force who's just doing their thing; the other party is held as being responsible for how that first party feels in kneejerk reaction to them, and for all the negative consequences of that, which affect them more frequently & intensely as a pattern of unilaterality rather than true "haha just a misunderstanding!" theoretically more balanced, reciprocal mistakes & whoopsie daisies. like again that being locked in to an abusive home life i didn't see this "countered" when getting to leave for school & college & work & social hangouts when the extremely normal pervasive logics & practises of abuse were, you're not gonna believe it, found to also be normal & pervasive there too. wow once again being ignored / left alone is about the best, while there's an especial disinterest that gets interrupted to a) make use of you as entertainment or telling you what to do or etc or b) enact negative attention as punishment / power trip. wow once again you're responsible for this treatment & it's sure not gonna change thanks to the people doing it & btw it's not that bad & it's literally normal. kids these days like so whiny & angsty when they're miserable at school & home & promised umm hey at least you aren't miserable at work yet.

anyway seeming really so "skilled" when the Social Approach is that what matters is having an instant superficial affinity with someone, and what Really matters is whether your having that or not is something you can do your part in making their life worse. who cares if the people insufficiently backed up by the power to do anything about it dislike someone for any reasons. and yet more totally unfamiliar logic when like arguing against "conform & comply or die & it's your fault" is like ohh You're the Real problem. You don't want those affected to Succeed. you sickos. like yeah always sooo fucked up to be The Ruiner The Destroyer of family, of existing within 5 mi of nt people being a stealth mission to evade the detection & bullying (this is also the family dynamic, should the family feel like it), of america, of gender