#this is... bad . it is soooooo horribly bad but i lub them very much hehe

[bestcurse]

can feel it, now— those three little words ungluing themselves from the roof of his mouth, unravelling until they can situate on the tip of his tongue, again, ready to be uttered into the space between them; a secret, a promise. only for the two of them. finds it difficult, when she moulds against him like that, as though the space had been specifically carved out for her, and only her, to keep them locked away, encased in the shackles that they’ve been in from the first moment he caught on to what they meant, just how intense they are, swirling around in his chest, in his beating heart. they cause its rhythm to pick up speed, now— not out of fear, this time around, but adrenaline, that familiar rush that’s always come over him, whenever she’s near. and he can’t help it, the way his gaze softens at her words, the smallest of smiles creeping along his features at the sincerity of them, of her, like she knew exactly what he needed to hear. only heightens everything, as she turns around to face him, when her arms wrap around his neck, or eventually moves for a hand to settle at his face— nothing but fondness reflected in his gaze, a certain warmth that only she's been able to garner, from him. finds that it's because of that, or because he can't really find any other logical reason for it not to, that those words are closer and closer to slipping off his tongue, no longer worrying himself of the consequences it may bring, of the despair that may follow, if he's gotten too far ahead of himself. he can't help it, though— not when the term boyfriend, especially in relation to him, has him practically giddy, cartwheels in his stomach. so, it's without so much as a second thought, gaze switching from where they currently rest at her lips, to her eyes, flickering back and fourth as the courage builds within him. " i think i love you, " he suddenly blurts out, no attached ease to the words, like he had imagined it going in his head. eyes soon widen, however, when he realises just what he's said, that the admission has finally been released, running free between the both of him. almost goes into shock, now that it's out there, heart skipping a beat in his chest as he takes a small step back, ready to explain himself. " fuck, i— i don't know why i said i think i do, because really, i know that i do, " he pauses, then, to take a breath, despite how shakily it comes. " i... i love you, devon. and that's embarrassing, i know, because it hasn't even been that long— i mean, we haven't been together that long, but i just... sometimes it feels like this is exactly the thing i've been waiting for, " the very thing he needed, the sustenance to keep him going. to fill that missing void that he's carried around with him for so long. " and i hope that... fuck, i hope that doesn't have to change anything between us— i mean, if you don't feel the same, i get it, i know that it's soon; too soon, probably— but i've just never felt this way, before. for anyone. "

it’s only warmth, now, swirling around in her gut, partly from the alcohol she’s consumed tonight but mostly from him. his presence, the sound of his voice, the sight of his smile. the fact that this was her life, now— a much fuller and happier version than she ever imagined for herself. maybe that’s what left her frightened to drop such a bomb, to relay just how much he meant to her, because it threatened to disrupt what they’ve built thus far, if it wasn’t reciprocated. her heart seemingly can’t stand the thought of losing him, of things changing due to an ill-fated admittance. but, she’s not so sure her heart can hold onto such a secret for much longer, either, swelling with affection for him more and more with each passing day they spend like this, completely immersed in one another. couldn’t stop it even if she tried, especially not when his arms wrap around her frame, chin pressed against her shoulder–– a sight that causes her to smile even with her toothbrush in her mouth. “ oh, it’s embarrassing ? now you have to tell me, it’s like, legally required when you’re in a relationship, ” she teases, but thankfully for him, she’s not serious about pushing it any further, not when she’s distracted by their closeness, by the feel of his breath against her skin, the weight of his arms around her waist, the warmth of his body against her own. she’s melting into him once his lips press against the curve of her neck, leaving a little trail of goosebumps in its wake, again, unable to control the smile that tugs at her cheeks, at how her heart swells with affection, with love. could practically choke at his next words, the way they’re muttered against her skin sending a chill up her spine, knees a little weaker as she looks at his reflection in the mirror. my girlfriend–– hearing him utter that word in such a manner leaves her reeling, butterflies exploding throughout her stomach. “ fuck, ” she curses, practically choking on the toothpaste in her mouth, leaning forward, then, to spit it out, wiping away any remnants before continuing. “ no, you really have no idea how much i love hearing you say that–– it’s actually really fucking unfair, ” and she couldn’t quite believe it’s real, still, that she’s his, and he’s hers, that it’s not just a dream she might wake up from, any minute now. feels more than right, though, as she turns around to face him, still close as ever as her arms wrap around his neck, gaze soft and filled with admiration. “ my boyfriend, ” she mutters quietly, eyes falling to his lips as she leans in to press a peck against them, still smiling. it’s only when she pulls away that her hands move to cup against his cheeks, sincerity now permeating her features. “ you deserve way more than you think, ” she begins, thumb running along the high point of his cheek. “you’re a good fucking person, miller–– the best person i know. you deserve to be happy, and taken care of, and listened to, and loved, and i–– ” there’s a slightly sharp intake of breath then, realizing what she’s just implied, maybe not implicitly, but still, panic rises. “ yeah. ” is how she finishes, cheeks flaring ever so slightly, hopeful that he didn’t catch it, that maybe he wouldn’t read into it. “ you probably deserve better than me, honestly. because i definitely don’t know what i did to deserve someone like you. ”