#this is why i wont buy one and only use em if it’s a gift

[handsome-kakigori]

Chat, i have lost my pencil and now i have to draw using my fingers haiyaaaa

Fs in the chat for me, pray that i can finish my current c0mms faster to open more slots so that i can cover the costs 💀

[sourame]

hey dude i don’t exactly know if the requests are still open or not but if they’re not feel free to ignore this! :) but otherwise may i request the sdra2 cast but if that’s too much do only the girls thanks with them falling in love with their best friend (fem or neutral)

YES <3333333

SDRA2 CAST X BEST FRIEND READER (g/n :D)

EMMA MAGOROBI

- didn't realize it at first, but as time went on it hit her. she was in love with them.

- she'd blush more often around them

- small gifts such as chocolate or sweets. nothing too forward yet.

- she honestly doesn´t know how to feel with this kind of thing, but shes sure she loves you.

¨Uhm, MC.. I believe I have caught feelings for you.. Its alright if you dont share the same.¨

SORA 

- she´s very good at hiding it for some reason.

- it takes her time, but she slowly begins to fall in love with you.

- shell try and find ways to spend time with you more often, like attending events youre going to.

- she also picks up your interests, and tries to get into them as well.

¨I like you, MC. A lot.. If thats okay..-¨

HAJIME MAKUNOUCHI

- honestly it was love at first sight with him.

- he´s desperately trying to impress you with something, just so you could be more attracted to him.

- kind of protective over you. every time you spend ¨too much¨ time with someone, he cant help but get a little jealous.

-his confession is probably a very quiet place, like his room or something of the sort. his face is bright red the whole time.

¨I really like you, okay? I wont leave you, no matter what happens.¨

IROHA NIJIUE

- she instantly knew she liked you, but didnt know how to tell you.

- youve known each other a long time as just friends, how was she gonna suddenly change the relationship?

- she paints for you or lets you watch her as you two just talk.

- the most charming thing she finds about you is your laugh.

- it gives her a sense of happiness or security. She doesn´t know why, but she wants you to laugh as much as you can around her.

¨MC, I think i-its finally time to tell you that uhm.. I-I really like you.. more than a friend. Is that okay..?¨

YUKI MAEDA

- he noticed that he started to feel more comfortable around you.

- he's always wanted to spend more time with you. Doesn't matter how , he just wants you to be with him.

- he always invited you two to go out together to places like arcades, lakes, etc.

- on Valentine's day one year, he got you chocolate as a means of hunting how he feels towards you.

“I know this is sudden but, uh.. would you mind being my date..?”

SYOBAI HASHIMOTO

- you were one of the first people syobai felt like he could actually trust.

- he'd always get you small gifts, and try to pass it off by saying "he doesn't need it"

- he's always defensive of you, and would go out of his way defend you in any situation.

- he enjoys night strolls across the beach, just the two of you talking about your day.

- syobai would give you pats on the back or head pats, which is something he wouldn't do for anyone else.

“Im not gonna try and hide it anymore. I've caught feelings, alright? Accept em..”

NIKEI YOMURI

- hes another type of person to instantly realize he's in love with you.

- he invites you to his dorm often, so you two could chat or play a game.

- he won't admit it, but he is straight up OBSESSED with you.

- he uses his interviews to learn more about you and what you like, so he can get you things you would like.

- he's desperately trying to impress you so you would feel the same.

“Okay. I'm gonna get this off my chest now. I really like you, MC. Do you.. feel the same?"

KOKORO MITSUME

- Kokoro normally isn't one to make moves, so she's honestly expecting you to do it.

- She buys you items like chocolate or matching accessories that you two can wear. she likes to think of it as a way to take you with her wherever she goes.

- honestly head over heels for you, but didn't know how to confess it.

- she thought confessing to you would ruin the relationship, so it took her a while to tell you.

“Its hard to say but.. I think I've caught feelings for you. Is that alright?"

HIBIKI OTONOKOJI

- Hibiki will make you come with her to festivals or concerts more often, as a way of taking you out on a date.

- a bit protective, and normally clings to you in public like iroha.

- goes so far as to write a song for you. she's that deep in love.

- definitely denies it at first, but slowly comes to accept the fact that she has feelings for you after all this time.

“I really like you, okay! I won't let you date anyone else!”

KANADE OTONOKOJI

- Kanade is definitely ashamed on her feelings for you. She thinks she's some sort of creep for having a crush on you.

- the only person besides her sister she hangs out with often. She's always felt safe and happy with you, and she didn't want that to change.

- Picks up your interests and likes so you two could talk about it more.

- her confession was in the form of a love letter, the reason being is she was too scared to go up to you and say it.

“I know we've known each other for a long time, but I've really started to like you. More than a friend.. I hope you feel the same..”

SETSUKA CHIEBUKURO

- Setsuka has most of the time seen you as a little sibling. It was one day in particular when she started to realize her true feelings.

- She's quick to defend you from anyone, whether that be verbally or physically.

- Setsuka always wants to see you smile. It gives her a warm feeling in her heart to know that she was the cause of it.

- She invites you to her dorm more often, so you two can talk about whatever going on.

- Is always there to comfort you. If you're having a bad day, she will listen and gives great advice.

“ I've been liking you for a while now actually.. I really have. You're just so perfect you know?”

YORUKO KABUYA

- you notice she blushes more often and opens up to you when you two talk.

- if you give her something simple as a compliment, she's already blushing. if you point it out, she heavily denies it.

- it's always hurted her a little when you referred to her as just your friend, but she wouldn't tell you.

- she would never want to loose you, so she takes things slow and careful.

“I have feelings for you, though.. You didn't know?”

MIKADO SANNOJI

- Mikado isn't one to catch feelings for people easily, so consider yourself lucky.

- he impresses you with magic , sometimes giving you flowers to hint towards his feelings.

- he doesn't even confess first, he straight up kisses you on the lips. daring move I may say.

- he's always asking you how your day was and what happened recently. he's that interested in you. everything about you.

“I know I might not be your ideal partner.. but would you mind dating me?”

YURI KAGARIN

- he knows instantly how he truly feels about you.

- the most surprising thing is, he'll tone down flirting with the other girls on the island. he'll focus more on you instead.

- whenever the smallest event comes up, he will give you loads of gifts and chocolate . anything for his love.

- every time you hung out with him, he wanted the moment to last forever.

“ MC. We have been friends for a long time. However, I think we should be more than that. Partners, even.”

TERUYA OTORI

- youve noticed how much he give you certain gifts. mostly flowers from different parts of the world.

- he wants to make sure every outing with you is perfect. absolutely nothing can go wrong.

- he's always offered to be the shoulder you cry on, and he's the first to go to you whenever you feel like you're alone.

- he makes very subtle hints. one example being brushing your hand with his so you two could hold them.

“Do you mind.. MC? Being my.. partner?”

SHINJI KASAI

- he knows nothing about romance, so you don't get hints from him often.

- he's very shy around you, and always finds himself smiling uncontrollably when you two talk.

- he loves to hear your voice. whether you're venting about your day or just talking to him casually.

- his favorite dates are strolls along the shore. he loves looking out into the distance with the one he loves most.

- he's so adorable when he finally confesses , and brings you a gift while he does.

“I don't know why but.. I can't help myself from having these feelings. Would you, uhm.. Be my partner?”

[furyasyourguide]

Hey! Hey! It’s ya girl fury as your guide! You are either here from google or you saw my youtube video. Don’t worry. It’s at the bottom of my page Either way, Welcome! Here’s some key points and animal recipes from gameplay guide on how to with these chickens in the Cottage Living Expansion Pack in the Sims 4 franchise. If you aren’t careful they will stress you out. We will cover how to buy them, how to raise them, feed and mate them, harvesting eggs and how you can make money off of them, and all points in between. I’ll be adding pictures. Bare with me. I’m just getting started here!

First we are going to talk about stuff to help set you up to prosper as a chicken farmer, then we will get into the meat and potatoes of dealing with these chickens.

Picking Traits

You can really set yourself up for a better gameplay experience by giving your sims certain trains in Create-A-Sim that support what you will be doing in your gameplay. If you are going to be an athlete, select traits like being athletic. These are traits that I love to select when it comes to being the best chicken farmer I can be:

The Animal Enthusiast

The Animal Enthusiast trait helps you to bond and build relationships with animals way faster than if you don’t. The better the relationship that you and any other members of your household have with them the better. It does help contribute with the outcome of your animals products that they make. So make sure that not just you, but other members of your household are cool with those chickens. If I picked any trait it would be this one if I expect to have animals to harvest products from. 

The Green Fiend & Loves Outdoors

Now these aren't necessary for raising chickens and whatnot, but they can be very helpful and I will explain why! You will be outside a LOT if you have animals to harvest from. Selecting the Green Fiend trait if you live in a neighborhood that isn’t polluted gives you +2 Happy Moodlets for breathing fresh air just by being outdoors, and doing things like doing green activities such as upgrading your appliances with eco parts. It usually boosts your inspiration. Since you’ll be outside caring for your chickens you get free inspiration that you don’t have to do anything for like browsing art on the pc, or needing to be a foodie just to get inspiration from getting recipe ideas from the pc or tv. The same with Loves Outdoors trait because it also gives you +2 Happy Moodlets. If you are into canning, cooking, writing, painting, knitting, cross stitch or pretty much anything that being inspired helps then I suggest these because you’ll be outside often. So why not rack up on FREE inspiration? If your neighborhood’s eco footprint aint hitting on much then I don’t suggest eco fiend, but usually I have no issue with it in Henford-On-Bagley which is the new neighborhood in Cottage Living. Let’s take a look at the neighborhood map while we are talking about it because their are shops that are hidden in town that will help you prosper with dealing with these chickens. These are just things that you can do before you start dealing with them to help get you ahead. 

The Grocery and Garden Shops 

The Grocery and Garden Shops are stands located by the bar at the Gnomes Arms at the bottom of the map, but they don’t tell you that bs. They are both open from 9am-7pm. You can get produce and ingredients to cook with which you will need if you are making certain animal treats, make foods with the Simply Living Lot Challenge enabled, to help cut on costs with food and craftables. You can also buy a limited variety of animal treats. 

I know that this video is about dealing with these chickens, but you will need various produce and ingredients to make animal treats with. Treats allow you to get a different color of wool, a variety of eggs, and an assortment of milk flavors. You can extend the life of your animals, and even help socialize and boost your animal relationships. You can even get a golden egg to resell, use in recipes or to get the coveted golden chicken. 

Unfortunately you can only get a limited variety of treats, and limited quantities of them at a time from the Garden Shop. I suggest buying some treats in advance so you can unlock the recipe to make them when you start working with your animals. You unlock treat recipes by feeding a treat to an animal from your inventory, running some errands with the locals, or from getting buddy buddy with the area wildlife and sometimes they will put you up on game by giving you a recipe.

You can come back here and buy the produce and stuff that you will need. I suggest that you grow and make the ingredients for your treats yourself because the shops are highway robbery at it’s Sims finest. Sim capitalism in this game is alive and well. So if you have the coin, I recommend that you get some friendly treats if you have the cash because they are definitely a big help when you are starting out. 

Buying Chickens

To purchase chickens you just click on it. You’ll at least need a hen and a rooster to make hatchable eggs that turn into chicks. If you got it like that, go ahead and cop a hen and rooster chick. That way you can start them out young and build a relationship with them early on. So when they are old enough to mate and reproduce you have a better chance at quality eggs. Even your favorites can disappoint you, but trust me. It definitely helps. 

Hens go for $150 and roosters are $200. I don’t know who came up with that, but I wont choose violence for the sake of this lil’ guide. They come in a variety of colors, but they don’t really affect the outcome of the eggs unless it’s a hatchable egg that you don’t have to use. You can resell them. I prefer to have a variety of them so I can differentiate between them. You can even name them, which is funny to me. 

Taking Care of Your Chickens

Hover over a chicken.  This bubble will basically tell you how your chicken is doing.Keep the coop clean. Feed em. Make sure to give your chicken attention. Those are the basic requirements. Let’s talk a more on how.

Clean Up!

Cleaning the coop is easy. You just hover over it to see what it’s status is. The bubble will tell you your capacity, if and how many eggs are ready to be collected, how clean it is, how many chickens you have, and a break down of them. It will give you an option to clean it if it’s even slightly dirty, which usually happens after they have eggs. 

Feeding chickens in the game is easy. You just click on the coop, and click scatter feed nearby. 

How to Feed Them

It’ll cost you $4 each time you feed them. Make sure that you feed them enough to give every chicken some grub. If you have half a coup or less, one throw is enough. If your coop is full then give them 2. If you are leaving the house or plan on being busy, then make sure you have feed on the ground in advance even if they are full just in case. They ARE bird brains, and sometimes your hen wont come out even though it’s starving. You can scatter the food on the ground then call the hen out. It’ll see the feed and get with the program, OR you can click it and feed the ones who are hungry.

Attention Starved

The hardest part of taking care of these things is giving them attention. I’m not a fan of it. Make sure that they are content by clicking on the chicken and either clicking on the top option which changes, or click socialize then on the various options that suit you. You can also increase your relationship with friendly treats and the animal’s social motive with the animal party treats. We will talk more about treats, but if you give them these it’ll help increase your relationship with them and increase their attention. 

If you do all of this and make sure that you AND your household members are good with the animals then you will have quality eggs, including special eggs of different colors, and hatchable ones that may still disappoint you with a normal quality. The quality is up to you depending on how much work you are willing to put in. Typically they will be eggcellent. Get it? I crack myself up. Lemme stop with the chicken jokes. If you don’t take care of them it will be a real situation down the road. I could make a joke about getting to the other side, but we are just going to move on to how these chickens will move on if you don’t take good care of them.

Your animals WILL complain to you if they aren’t satisfied with how you are running the joint. If they DO run off its usually just one. It’ll come back if you clean up your act and get it together. 

Trade a chicken. Go ahead. You know you want to.

These chickens DO age, so if the Grim Reaper pulls up with the stick then you can’t come back from that. They’ll let you know when your bird is getting on up there in years. You can trade any of them for a variety of stuff if you can bare the pain from the sadness moodlet you will get from the betrayal. Now. If you don’t see when the Grim Reaper comes because you are doing something that isn’t near the chicken or you are asleep or something then you don’t get a sadness moodlet. If you witness it then you’ll still be upset and you gets NOTHING. So I recommend trading the bird before it’s too late.  

You can trade a chicken for white meat, which is pretty obvious. You can also trade it in for animal treats, a lil produce and ingredients to cook with, or you can take the cash and do the race. Chicks can’t be traded for chicken meat, but let’s do a quick trade real quick so you can see how it goes down. 

These Animal Treats, Honey

So let’s talk about these animal treats. This can be more stressful than dealing with them birds sometimes. You do NOT get the animal treat recipe off bat. You have to feed them a treat from your inventory, get it from running errands for the locals, or by befriending critters like rabbits and birds and hope that they’ll put you on game by giving you an animal treat recipe. They give you a gift each day if you ask them, and sometimes it’s some absolute bs. Often times you get a treat recipe. So you can’t make them until you unlock them. Once you unlock the recipe, I beg of you to start growing the crops or working on the needed items to make treats because it will be a big help. Buying ANYTHING in the Garden and the Grocery Shop is highway robbery like I stated before bestie, and I don’t respect it. So if you would like a leg up on getting the ingredients together in advance to save on costs then go to my site itsyagirlfury.com for info from this video, quick tips and animal treat recipes to have everything you need beforehand. You can click on the fridge, the coop or animal shed to make animal treats if you have the ingredients for the ones that you have recipes for. If not? Forget about it. 

To feed a treat to an animal you simply click the animal, click give a treat, select what you have available and that’s that. 

So what do these treats do? A lot. They can boost your relationship and attention when you socialize with your birds. They can extend their lives.They can intentionally get you different colored eggs, like the rainbow egg which is a LOT to deal with. A rainbow egg of excellent quality is a smooth $200 so it is what it is. Not only does the golden treat get you a golden egg, but it can turn a chicken into the coveted golden chicken which is a financial blessing. An excellent quality egg is $300, and a hatchable golden egg is $450. It’s a madd decent hustle if you have them turning out golden eggs like in Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory. 

The golden chicken also improves anything it’s around. Sometimes it’ll just do it on it’s own. I keep mine locked in a gate so they aren’t just roaming all over during their waking hours or so the fox doesn’t move in for the kill. So they are often near my garden, and will just improve stuff on it’s own. ‘Preciate it homie. You can also click on it, and ask it for help. 

Let tell you about the real MVP though. My evil chicken. She originally was a white chicken. One day I looked, and she was evil. She’s not necessarily evil. They can keep their loved ones from dying. They can even ward off vampires, foxes and the Grim Reaper. They WILL fight the Grim Reaper, but he will hide until it catches the chicken slippin, then go and get what it came for. So it is what it is. 

Animal Treat Recipes

Animal Party Treat -Improves social motive. Required:any mushroom or veggie. 

Chocolatey Animal Treat- Makes brown wool, chocolate eggs, or chocolate milk. Required: custard, chocoberry.

Fishy Protein Animal Treat- Gives an extra wool, egg or milk. Required: any fish.

Flirty Animal Treat- pink wool, a hatchable egg, strawberry milk. Required: Strawberry Jam, sugar.

Friendly Animal Treat- positive boost to the animal’s relationship with a sim. Required: any fruit or veggie.

Fruity Animal Treat- Makes blue wool, a blue egg, or enriched milk. Required: Apple jam, Blueberry jam. 

Golden Animal Treat- gold wool, turns a hen into a golden chicken, golden honey milk. Required: a golden egg, cowberry or honey.

Healthy Animal Treat- extends lifespan of an animal. Required: any fruit or veggie and lettuce.

Midnight Animal Treat- black wool, obsidian egg, or an evil chicken. Beware! Required: cowberry jam, obsidian egg. 

Pumpkin Animal Treat- orange wool,pumpkin spice milk, orange egg. Required: pumpkin, sugar.

Rainbow Animal Treat- rainbow wool, rainbow milk, rainbow egg. Required: blue egg, green egg, orange egg.

Spicy Animal Treat- red wool, fire milk, obsidian egg. Required: spicy mushroom, any veggie.

Veggie Animal Treat- green wool, green eggs, mighty plant milk for lactose intolerant sims. Required: aubergine, lettuce. 

Some Bonus Chicken Nuggets

Now. A few things that I have found to be helpful so we can wrap this up: I’ve found it to be helpful to make sure that you have lighting near them. So if it’s dark it’s easier to see them. 

Speaking of lamps, I keep the warming lamp near my animals so when I go near them I am kept warm if it’s cold outside, and I also get a +1 Happy Moodlet from it. She loves being outdoors so she doesn’t get cold. It’s not the same reason why Cardi B says that people don’t get cold. 

Keep ‘em “cooped up”

If you don’t want your birds just roaming around all the time or to protect them from foxes then keep your gate locked. Click on it and click lock and for all chickens. If they aren’t in one then put them in one. 

Put your eggs in the fridge if you plan on keeping them. If it’s perishable, put it in the fridge to keep it for longer.

The calendar shows what competitions will be held at the Finchwick Fair every Saturday from 3:30-9:30pm. I suggest not going early because they don’t judge you until later. The calendar tells you what two entries they are accepting so you can prepare. If your chicken showed out, and you think you have a chance to win then go enter and win one of those trash prizes lol. The ribbons are cute, though. 

This expansion pack is stressful, but it’s fun. It’s definitely one of my favorites. If you have any other chicken tips or if you are a sims streamer then please leave that in the comments. My socials are itsyagirlfury everywhere on social media platforms. Or you can go to my site itsyagirlfury.com to find me. I’m getemgirlfriday on twitch. That’s also in the bio and at my site. I’d love to have you. I mostly play the sims and it goes down. 

[szopenhauer]

What type of friend are you?  funny mom friend so like... dad friend? XD 

Have you ever been friends with someone for longer than 7 years? nah

Do you have a family member you hate? could say so

Does your family accept who you are? it’s complicated

Have you ever puked in school or at work? luckily not

Do you hate puking or does it make you feel better? hate 

Have you ever coughed up blood? nope

Do you lie to your doctor? sometimes we all have to but nothing important

Have you ever been misdiagnosed? yup

Do you think you have an disorder but havent been properly diagnosed yet? that too

Is self diagnosing good or bad? depends

Do you think sex is overated? it is

Is it important for both genders to understand eachothers bodies? I’m not dating men, I don’t want to have a son and I am not a doctor so I don’t care about male bodies, sorry

If someone was a virgin and was raped, did they lose their virginity? ...

Have you ever dated someone more than twice your age? nooo

Have you ever been cut off by a bartender because you were too drunk? I don’t drink

Have you ever borrowed money from your mom & lied about why you needed it? I don’t think so

Have you ever dated someone just because they had money? no

Have you ever lied to your spouse about the money you spent shopping? it wasn’t a lie but I bend the truth a little 

Have you ever gone on a first date with no underwear? I might go without a bra but because I don’t wanna wear it and not because I might have sex 

Do you treat attractive people better than others who aren’t as attractive? nope

Are you more comfortable with friends that are less attractive than you? not less but not more as more attractive might make me feel insecure at times

Have you ever hated a job to the point that you tried to get fired? I would if they let me stay in few places but luckily they didn’t care much about me as their worker hahaha

Have you ever lied about your weight on a driver license? there is weight on a driving license? :o

Have you ever lied during a job interview? meh

Have you ever lied to your boss to get out of work? I exaggerated feeling sick once to not get a job in a horrible place if that counts

Have you ever lied under oath in court? I wouldn’t!

Have you ever bought alcohol for someone underage? I said NO

Have you ever switched tags on an item to pay less for it? I only took tag from an identical item, just different color, as someone tore it out before and I really wanted that particular color, so no

Have you taken any pics of yourself that you wont want your parents to see? umm... yeah ^^”

Did you ever tell your BF/GF you like their outfit when you really didn’t? there are different types of like - like as I would want to wear that myself and like as I enjoy it in general but also like it on particular person etc. 

Do you feel accepted by your BF/GF ’s family? could be worse lol

Do you lie about your age? what for if everybody think I’m younger anyway

Would you risk your life to save a total stranger? maybe

Have you ever trashed your ex’s car after an argument? hell no

Have you ever snuck out of the house to go out with friends? not really

Have you ever shoplifted? no way

Have you ever done something because of peer pressure you are ashamed of? yup Have you ever been embarrassed to introduce your parents to anyone? omg

Have you ever held back a well deserved compliment because you were jealous? I don’t recall

Do you guilt people into giving you what you want? hope not, I try not to, it’s manipulative and I already am seen this way due to my BPD so... 

Would most ppl consider you better than average looking? pfft Would you prefer to have hot body or high IQ? good health

Are you embarrassed to tell people your job? I’m ashamed to tell them that I don’t have a job 

Would you give up your car to save the planet? if I had one...

Are you more likely to believe a man or woman? woman :x

Has your credit card ever been declined? I don’t use a credit card

If you ran over an animal would you keep driving? oh no...

Do you think your parents are too critical of you? my mother is

Ever blame a sibling for something you did wrong? I usually have to take the blame for her instead

Have you ever accepted credit for someone else’s work? just my alters lmfao

Did you ever buy something expensive,wear it once and return it? I didn’t, I have no money to buy and no heart to act like this either

Have you ever re-gifted something? shitload of times

Do you really care about saving the planet for future generations? not for future ppl, just for itself

Do you own anything from IKEA? not furniture 

What was the last task that you required the use of scissors for? I just dropped them and let them lay on the floor under the table because I am unable to reach ‘em

Look around the room and name any item that’s grey. stuffed bad from Biedronka that I got on a flea market

Do you know what any of your close friends did yesterday afternoon? me and M. been spending time together while my parents were at home

Can you recall the last time you woke up in a bad mood? Why was that? I always do?...

Who was the last person to send you a message with a heart emoji? my gf obviously

Does your hometown have many good bookshops? none

What would be your typical outfit for a party? I don’t attend parties 

If your girlfriend/​​boyfriend broke up with you tonight, what would you do? oh...

last dream you had: K. 3D printed or smth almost identical album as the ones I had as a baby and her and my current partner gave it to me as a gift :3

do you think a lot of people think bad things about you? I aware of that

is your best friend pissing you off at this exact moment? I informed my father that I dropped scissors and now as I picked them up he asked me when and how they ended up there while I told him about it few minutes ago - I was more worried than annoyed tbh

Why aren’t you texting the last person you kissed? she’s taking a nap

Sex ruins relationships, right? it can happen

Last person to stand up for you? hmm...

The last person you kissed, how many times have you cried in front of them? I lost count which is weird because I cry in front of my family members only (not even my grandma until I was a baby), I know that sometimes I cry in public but because I don’t give a fuck about strangers as much as I used to, close ones in the other hand... Nat hates the most when someone sees him so vulnerable

Something good going to happen tomorrow? doubt it

The last person you kissed hates you. Why? would have reasons

What do you usually do when the clock turns 11:11? it’s a secret you can unlock in a very high level of our relationship

Do you like your cell phone? it’s ok

So, what if you married the last person you kissed? we’re engaged so that dream ain’t that unreal

Have you ever had a really big fight with a best friend? uh oh

Do you plan on moving out within the next year? I wish

What are you listening to at the moment? mom and dad talking <rolling my eyes>

Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years? or never

What’s your favorite high school memory? I have a bunch of those

Do you wish you had more money? absolutely

Team Jacob or Team Edward? team hate Twilight

Do you have a problem with bisexual, gay, or bicurious people? with bicurious maybe, definitely not gay

Have you ever held hands with the opposite sex? I have

Are you a patient person? weirdly unpatient Do you think you are a good person? am not

Honestly, have you ever eaten raw cookie dough? ewww

Is there a difference between the word ‘best friend’ and ‘friend’? there is 

How was your week? rollerclaster XD

Does it bother you when an artist remakes a song that one has previously done? usually

When was the last time you cried? recently

What letter is the song you’re listening to under? M if vocalist/band B if title of the song

Would you rather visit the 60s or 70s? 60s I guess

Do your socks say anything on them? I have no socks with anything said on them

Name a TV channel that only has three letters in it. BBC

Gray or Grey? grey

Will you be buying concert tickets any time soon? I won’t

Have you seen the movie The Perks of Being a Wallflower? Did you like it? yasss, it was fine

How many weddings have you been to? less than 5

When you smile, are you confident? I am not

Have you ever not done something because you were afraid of getting in trouble? of course

Was the weather beautiful today? it’s cold

Do you have to have a fan on when you sleep? I don’t own a fan Would you rather have an orange, red or gray bedroom? walls? orange 

Would you ever dye part of your hair blue? why not whole

Is Finding Nemo a favorite movie of yours? I dislike it

Does/Did your school have a uniform? middle school only and that was a great idea

Turn on the TV. What channel are you on? not gonna

What’s your favorite thing to do? nothing

If your house was haunted, what would you do? depends

What’s worse: Slow internet or slow walkers? slow internet

Are you a fast or slow walker? which alter? :P

Do you usually have to wear a belt with your pants? I must buy belt for Nat

Are you usually the person to try new things with your hair? no comment

What age do you look forward to reaching? I live on borrowed air...

What exercise do you hate the most? awkward ones

Do you know anyone that has a gecko as a pet? no

What color shirt is your mom wearing today? she’s wearing a striped pajama and light blue sweater atm

Does any part of your body hurt right now? mor than one

Do you like Greek Mythology? not a fan

When was the last time you had Pepsi? ages ago

What was the last question you answered, not on surveys? it was more an order than a question coming from my mom 

Do you own anything Polo? used to

Do you know anyone with exaggeratedly big muscles? neighbor

What is your favorite endangered animal? are elephants still endangered?

Do you like to dance? kinda, from time to time Who was the last person who screamed your name? mom’s calling me again, grrr...

Which underwater creature do you find the most badass? what do you mean?

How do you usually find out what the weather will be like for the next week? someone tells me, I ignore them, they were wrong all along

Why have/haven’t you joined Twitter? I left as it was boring and irritating Are you good at rhyming? but don’t like to rhyme

When’s the last time you were woken up in an obnoxious way? lately it’s common

Why do you/don’t you enjoy horror movies? they’re disgusting and pointless

Do you have any celebrity’s perfume? I don’t use perfume

How well do you do at Scrabble? in polish or english?

Who is your favorite Scooby-Doo character? Velma I suppose

Have you ever played or been interested in playing World Of Warcraft? been interested, liked the movie

What kind of cake/other dessert treat did you have for your last birthday? nothing?

Who do you think does the best job at cartoon voiceovers? Jarosław Boberek 

Does your dad wear a watch all the time? years ago frequently

How much ice cream do you think you’d be able to eat before you got sick? only a bit

Do you know anybody under 40 with grey hair? I have some myself

Do you think you have the potential to be a good stalker? oh well...

Why did you read the last book that you read? I watched film and heard it has a different ending so wanted to check it out

Have you ever cross-dressed? clothes have no gender but I drew mustaches and such 

Which sport are you the best at playing? unihokej/floorball or however it’s called

Do you know anyone who has gotten pregnant despite using contraception? possibly

What would you do if you were in that situation? I’m an asexual and I’m into girls

Are you planning on buying a house in the near future? not possible

Do you prefer on-campus classes or online classes? online

What was your favorite family vacation you went on as a kid? personal

What’s something about you that others might find unpleasant or off-putting? my skin for example (not color)

What gaming consoles do you own? I only play PC and android 

Have you ever been so sick you had to be taken to the hospital? been to ER few times

Do you know any lesbian couples? I’m in one ;)

Have you ever lived in an apartment building?  just when I was staying with my grandmother

What was the last topic you asked someone for their opinion or advice on? not sure which was last

Is your house visible on Google Street View?- barely

What’s the largest thing you currently have in your refrigerator? *shrug*

Do you know anyone who has never had a pet? I believe

Would you ever get a tattoo on your collar bone? no thx

Would you take the 3 minute beatdown to be in a gang? neither Do you check your texts right away when you receive them? not every single time, it’s impossible!

Does it make you uncomfortable when you receive a compliment? sorta, I think they’re lying/want something or make fun of me (even if just slightly teasing for fun)

When you are home alone at night and hear strange noises, are you afraid someone is going to break in? I’m more “ghost” type of person hahaha

Do you wake up cranky? mhm

What is on your wrists right now? sleeves

Are you a beach, country, or city person? country or small town

Are you an official couple with the last person you kissed? we are 

What’s the greatest thing that happened to you today? ex - I got a gift and found a shirt for Nat and myself :3

How old do you think you will be when you finally have kids? -

Are you waiting for something? food

Something you do a lot? suffer

How many chances do you tend to give people before enough is enough? it’s not about the amount

What’s a fact about the last person you kissed? she likes hugs

How long have you liked the person you like? it’s a long story 

Did anyone see you kiss the last person you kissed? not our last kiss

Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now? I worry

Have you ever given your ALL to someone who walked away?

Have you ever kissed the last person you texted? we kissed 

Are you one of those people who are always cold? not always but often

Do you tend to waste a lot of money? I still feel like it even tho I don’t, I thrift often but spend little for those trinkets

Did you sing at all today? może coś nuciłam, nie pamiętam, w headspace?

Would you rather be able to control the weather or control traffic? weather

Do you own any articles of clothing with skulls on it? gave it away to John

Are you faster at text messaging or typing on the computer? typing on the computer

In your opinion which is the stronger emotion: love or hate? hate

Tongue piercings - cute or trashy? trashy

When it comes to jeans: skinny, flared or boot cut? skinny

Would you rather be a star ballerina or a star break dancer? none

They say diamonds are a girls best friend; what do you say? I don’t care for diamonds

Has anybody ever told somebody one of your secrets? plenty of times

Do you get on better with funny or serious people? smth in between

Do you have mood swings around the time of the month? I don’t need period to have mood swings, it’s stereotypical!

Have your friends met the last person you kissed? aha

What if you got stuck in a lift with the last person who Facebook messaged you? we would end up having sex? jk

When/where did your last hug take place? today

Have your parents ever told you about their love lives, and any previous relationships they had before they met? kind of

Do you and your friends have any inside jokes? and with family 

When you listen to music, do you ever find that the songs affect your moods and change how you feel? no shit Sherlock!

What’s one thing about today that you didn’t like? don’t wanna talk about all that

Who is the last person that you said i love you to, besides family members? my fiancee

Would you ever go back to any of your past relationships? done

Do you still talk to the first person you kissed? we’re together again

Do you have a picture of you kissing someone? :D

What’s a cuss word you use often? there’s a whole list

Who’s the last guy you texted? dad

Have you ever not been able to get someone out of your head? this question...

Do you remember the first conversation you had with the person you have feelings for? I remember how we met

Do you believe that people talk about you behind your back? ha!

If you had twins, would you give them rhyming names? yuk

What are you listening to? Tame Impala - Let It Happen

Did you do something mean to someone today? she deserved it!

Is there anyone that you wish was IN your life who used to be? babcia...

Give us a lyric from a song you’re listening to: The truth of it is it doesn’t get better than this

Is your birthday in less than 6 months? whoops

What brings out the worst in you? better not say that out loud

How’re you feeling right now? bad

Are you afraid of the future? very

Do you believe in true love? I’m trying

Do you believe that every one has a soul-mate? not everybody

Was today a good day? should be better

What woke you up this morning? woke up on my own

Do you look people in the eye when you talk to them? I don’t 

Have you ever played naked twister? wut...

Is your hair longer than your shoulders? not yet and don’t plan to keep it that long

Would you get in trouble if you came home drunk? that would be a shock to my family (and to me)

Do you ever think about things and start to worry? 100% of the time

Are you one to get annoyed easily? that me!

Is the last person you kissed yours? we don’t own ppl...

Was it a boy or a girl to text you first today? girl

Are you scared of spiders? am not

Do you hate the last boy who talked to you? I love my parent

Do you tend to make things complicated? not on purpose

Have you ever gotten to the point where you’ve said “I’m done trying”? gqe1gIQASGCK...

Do you think things will change in the next few months? I’m afraid for worse 

Do you like when people play with your hair? it’s strange

What are you wearing right now? bluzę w czarne i białe paski, zieloną bluzkę z długimi rękawami i szare legginsy z niebieskim wzorkiem

Ever feel like you have been replaced? more than once

Would you rather write a paper or give a speech? write

Are you lying to yourself about something? thx a lot for this ask...

Is the person you last texted single? she’s with me

Do you think any of your exes will eventually want to be with you again? tha hell

If you could move away, no questions asked, where would you move to? just my own apartment

Which do you prefer, relationship or a one-night-stand? relationship

[sundrenched-smilez]

I see your 'here's a lot!' and raise you: 1, 3-6, 10-13, 17-19, 21, 23, 25

1. what is your gender?

dainty + bubbly

sharp

ethereal

decadent

3. what is your gender presentation like?

being genderfluid, it’s difficult tbh, and i dont always know what my gender is at any given moment? only what feels Wrong and Uncomfy. so i just gotta trial and error until i get tired of doing that and give up, or i find smth good. this can take several minutes expressing the above feelings and aesthetics is essentially my gender pres

4. what is your Gender Euphoria Outfit? 

d+b - smth flowy, soft, traditionally more girly and femme

sharp - punk, black and spiky. metal helps, so do bracelets, and sometimes eyeliner done to a point. mb a lil slutty, but for me, not for others. tank tops, torn clothing, showing skin

ethereal - the above, but more adorned and colorful? like rly unique and confident looks. less edges, more fae

decadent - like shirts w ruffles on them, feeling like a pirate or an old century princess, loose clothes, fancy clothes, feeling a lil like royalty or thinking highly of myself. mb more animated w my actions, more dancy

5. what makes you feel validated?

ppl using my pronouns, or telling their friends “oh look at that person, theyr’e goals/theyre pretty/so hot, etc” and impressing ppl w my beauty and style that way.

ppl not knowing what genitals i have, or being confused on that front!! like i’ve told ppl im on hormones n they assumed T instead of estrogen, and that’s fun. kinda like how u like to confuse ppl 

6. top five favorite parts of your body (n why you love them)?

thighs!! they’re rly good n have recently gotten thiccer bc i put on weight, and that makes me happy c:

i have a cute butt!!

boobs, bc ive always wanted them, nd i have them now, nd im big sexy

legs, esp when shaven, bc that always feels nice. so does my tummy, it’s rl soft

i love my eyes so much, they’re such a dark, deep warm brown!!! they rllllyyy pop when i wear eyeliner w them, and im always consistently happy abt them c: i also have good lips, nd suuuuper soft skin

im cheating but i also rly adore my hair, it gets rly curly sometimes, and i love that abt it 

10. do you have any trans pride merch?

i dont!! i have a gay flag in my room tho c: 

11. recent happy trans moment?

at work yesterday, i had mentioned customers probs find me offputting bc im tall and trans, and my friend josh who i work w, was like “use that to your advantage!! I know that sounds weird, but when i wear a flower crown, it’s easier to sell to ppl, bc im the Bubbly Gay” and i was like “hi, i dont have the genitals you think i do, please buy my fragrance” in a deadpan voice, n cracked him and my manager up 

12. favorite trans headcanon?

samus aran from metroid being trans!! shes powerful and unstoppable, and i love her 

13. favorite canon trans character? (alt: 2nd favorite trans headcanon?)

i rly love elliot from On A Sunbeam, but also alex fierro from the magnus chase series!!! she’s never afraid to let ppl know when her pronouns have changed (genderfluid) and she’s out and proud, and promotes “flaunting the weird” or unique, and she always wears pink n green, which is cool. like everyone was in white snow suits for camouflage, and she still had a pink/green one somehow, nd it was rly silly 

17. something you wish you could tell your younger self?

brush ur teeth more, also dont worry, ppl will love ur dick and wont bash u for having one. you’ll have friends that love and want to b around u

18. what would your Ideal Fashion Look be?

i rly want that rose dress i drew on zuretta, mb i’ll try sewing one when i have money

19. (how) does your gender relate to your sexuality?

if u like me, ur gay, and also i rly want someone (partner wise) to call me their flame, bc that would b rly affirming and gay. like im an urban/modern pirate witch who strolls into town on odd full moons, bringing lavish gifts and showering my love in affection, sex, and laughteri like the concept of sex more than actual sex, but u know,,,, some gay thoughts

21. what makes you feel euphoric?

when i can express my genders the way i want to, or express/hold myself in a way that rly makes me all !!!!!! inside

like a firm and steady connection, resonating in my aesthetic like a beacon or a lightning strike; powerful, brimming with energy, and certainty. 

23. claim something as trans culture. 

running a joke into the ground until it's unrecognizable from what the original one was (i’m about to end this man’s whole career > me, about to fight someone “i’m about to end this man” >me answering if i’ve entered the building yet “i’m about to” > me, when i’m a muscle underneath someone’s stomach fat “i’m ab”)

editing ur friends into memes

25. what’s your favorite part of being trans?

tbh i dont rly identify as trans, just nb, bc ive always felt nonbinary; used to b rly grossed out by being called anything masculine, felt uncomfortable to take my shirt off from the age of like 6, in public spaces. called myself an individualso like im definitely not cis but i’ve always been nonbinary, so i dont feel the need to categorize myself into like “someone who isn’t as they used to be” if that makes sense. 

plus idk, uncomfy term for me specifically, doesn’t feel right. same w transfeminine, like im androgynous in the first place, and if i were feminine, i dont see the need 2 arbitrarily add trans in front of it, as if to say “im artificial”obvs those terms r affirming for others, and im rly happy abt that and encourage them to use em, but for me its just like. mmm. thats how it feels, a lil nasty nd not me. wrong, ig? feelings. its 1 am almost so im in a slightly off mindset, but also fine bc i just took like a big nap from 3:30ish to 8no gender roles, im free of constriction and can dress however tf i want bc fuck fashion trends? its just money in the pocket of a corporation. now i do like fashion, but only in that i love to see how ppl express themselves, not so much following trends and rules abt it. it’s better to b unique and have ur own style, what makes u u, what makes u comfy and happily expressed

[xjoiexgabriel]

HIM || Beiste Boys

Who: Gabe Beiste & @jackbeiste Where: The mall When: 11/30 What: the boys go to grab gifts at the mall and run into someone they use to know (TW: Abuse mention, TW: Anxiety, TW: Mention of violence)

It was shopping day for the Beiste boys. Taking the day to spend it together, just the three of them, to get all the gifts they would need. Gabe pushed the stroller as they walked through the mall, smiling to his little brother. "So how are you and Sebastian doing?"

Jack liked this so much, just being with his brother again. In a way, he almost missed the first couple of months at Joie when he'd clung to his brother so much. They were still working out some nice inbetween, and if this was it... it was a good middle. "Hm?" he asked, having been lost in his own thoughts. "Good.. great, really," he said, unable to stop himself from grinning.

Gabe smiled to see his little brother so happy. It made him happy to see how happy Jack was. Sebastian had his quirks but as long as he was good to jack, they were good. "So you have any ideas what to get dad? "

"Hmm, no... I guess I'll give him a bou... book again," He said, shrugging. It was his go-to for Sheldon, and it was usually successful, or at least it always seemed to be successful. "Maybe a cardboard of us," he added, flashing his brother a playful grin. Sheldon tried, but it was obvious he missed them, especially now that they were both gone, and Myles was so far away from him too. Jack missed him a lot too, and the fact that he came to Joie for Thanksgiving had been such a relief.(edited

Gabe rolled his eyes some. "Come on Jack jack, you gotta put a little more effort in. Why don't we go in on something for him together? You know something that he'd enjoy a lot. I was thinking we get him a massage chair and possibly some winter hats and gloves. God knows he's going to freeze if we dont since he wont wear pants." Chuckling a bit, Myles even laughing as well.

Jack laughed softly too, nodding. "Sure, we'll get the chair together. I still wanna give him a book. You can give him the gloves... fits your dad role, huh?" He teased, flashing him a grin.

"Yeah, guess I'm turning into a dad. " Game chuckled. "Just come on, dad really needs to wear pants more" He joked. "What book would you want to get him this time? Also I'm. thinking we order the chair and have it delivered around Christmas. "

"It's wai... weird to think about," Jack admitted. It wasn't like Gabe hadn't been a very dedicated big brother, but a father... he had figured that would come much later. "Maybe you should get him pants... if you buy 'em, he'll wear 'em," he mused. At least when one of them was around. "Not too sure yet. Ordering it sounds good, though."

"Yeah, its kind of crazy to think I helped make this little one but I mean, now that he's here, I don't think I can see my life without him now." Gabe grinning as he looked down to see Myles had nodded off. "Alright, let go hit the furniture place to see if we can..." Gabe stopped dead in his tracks. His heart stopped as well, grabbing Jack's arm he didn't move. Cooter. Cooter was there.

"No, and I don't think I'd like to try to see it without him either," Jack said softly. "What's wrong?" He frowned as his brother suddenly stopped and held his arm in a tight grip. It took him several moments to recognise Cooter; the few memories he had of him were all over fifteen years old, but even as he had aged... it was still obvious who he was. "Oh,' was all he managed to say, barely more than a whisper.

Gabe nodded, taking Jack's hand and turning to walk in the other direction. His heart was racing. What the hell was he doing there. Why would he be in Ohio. Stopping a good distance away, Gabe looked around some. "You okay?" wanting to make sure the shock of seeing him wasn't too much on Jack.

"Wha-what's he... doing here?" Jack couldn't stop staring, glancing back even as his brother lead him in the opposite direction. He felt so small suddenly, like he was still a little kid. Gabriel had held his hand like that when they were younger. It'd been a while. It was comforting, but he could still feel his heart beating rapidly in his chest. He wanted to ask Gabe if he was okay too, but he couldn't get the words out. Not even thinking about it, his free hand reached up to touch the scar on the back of his head. It wasn't large, easily hidden, but it was there all right. Just one of the few gifts from their father.

Gabe saw him go to touch his head and pulled Jack into him. He kissed his hair, his heart still racing. All Gabe could think was the same thing that Jack asked and how he never wanted Cooter to meet or see Myles. "I don't know why he's here but maybe we should leave before he sees us."

He hugged him tightly, glancing over to where Cooter had been. The man wasn't there, and he searched frantically for him; his heart dropping when he did. "He saw us."

Gabe looked around as well. "Yeah, I think he might have so lets just get out of here." Holding Jack's hand, he turned to walk but it was too late. Cooter was standing 20 feet away, waving. Gabe glared at him. "Jack, get myles out of the stroller and hold him please."

Jack nodded quietly, quickly taking his nephew into his arms, taking a step back; holding him in a protective embrace.

Gabe stepped in front of his son and his brother as the man walked over. Gabe was bigger then him now, thats for sure. He didn't budge, his face not showing one bit of fear. When they were face to face, he just smiled to them.

 "Hey boys, long time." Cooter put his hand out to Gabe. Gabe just glared at him. 

"What do you want?" Gabe spat back at him.

His heart was beating so fast, and he knew it was making Myles nervous; he tried to calm himself, gently rocking his nephew, whispering sweet nothings into his cheek. It comforted them both, even as he could hear Cooter's voice, it felt distant. All he could hear was Myles and his baby talk.

Cooter peeked around Gabe to see Jack and the baby. 

"Who's kid?" He asked his oldest. Gabe stood tall and stood his ground. "

“Doesn't fucking matter. I asked you a question. What do you want? Why are you even here?" If Cooter got any closer, he was going to lose it though. He was trying to stay calm for now.

"Leave," Jack finally managed to spit out, glancing up to look at his father, though avoiding his gaze.

baeLast Thursday at 12:36 PM

Gabe smiled, squeezing Jack's hand. Cooter only laughed though. "Shut up." he called to Jack. That was it, Gabe turned to Jack. 

"Go to the car right now." Giving him the stroller. "Don't look back, just go. I'll be right there."  Once Jack was gone, Gabe was up in his face. "Listen you prick, i don't fucking care why you're here, I only care that you stay the fuck away from me and Jack. You hear me. I'm not a little kid anymore and I'll be damned if you think you can scare me. You don't scare me anymore, Cooter. I suggest you get the hell out of Ohio as fast as you fucking can." Gabe turned then and walked away, trying to catch up with Jack. He heard Cooter calling to him, but he didn't care to turn back. He just cared to make sure Jack and Myles were okay. Catching up to them at the car,  Gabe got Myles into his car seat and gave him a bottle then pulled jack into a hug. "I got you, Jack." he whispered.

He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Cooter had always told him to shut up, usually not with a laugh and it usually came after Cooter made him try to talk in the first place. He almost wanted to say something, just to prove to his father that he could. But nothing wanted to come out. He shut his mouth, biting hard enough on his lower lip to taste the metallic tang of blood in his mouth. Yet somehow, he also felt a rush of disappointment that Cooter didn't even seem happy to see him. He did as Gabriel told him to, standing outside by the car, breathing heavily as he tried to calm himself down; at first hestitant to let go of his nephew. "I'm sorry," he whispered, hugging him back tightly.

"No no, youre okay. Let just, get in the car and we're going to go get some fast food and go back on campus." Gabe knowing they'd be safe there. He got into the driver's side and pulled out. Shopping would have to wait for another day.

He shook his head, but got into the car. "I shoo... shoulda backed you up," he said softly.

"You did. You did exactly what needed to be done. I don't want Myles to see him or know him. Trust me, you did so much in that moment, Jack." Gabe replied. "You protected Myles."

Jack nodded, wiping away some tears with the back of his hand. He took a deep breath before speaking again, making sure to speak really slow and clear as he didn't trust the words to come out right if he didn't. "He's your son, but he is my nephew.. so he is my kid too."

Gabe nodded. "Yes, he has me, you and Vince. He has people that love him and protect him. My only goal was to keep him from seeing Myles and to protect you as well. I did that so we did good. Now do we want burgers or tacos?"

[emergentanimism]

Deadwater

In my last post, I said something that should have given you pause. When describing spirits of the dead, I said, “They can even be exploited if a magus is so inclined. If they can't learn to chill even after they're dead, fuck 'em.”

No one told you that being a magus makes you a nice person, right? There are reasons why necromancy is reviled by many cultures. Most of those reasons are bullshit based on fear and control. But being a necromancer does sometimes mean blurring some lines. If you as a magus decide you may need a weapon at your disposal, even just for self-defense… well weapons come at a price. A weapon is not an innocent thing, despite what the NRA wants you to believe. A weapon always requires you to compromise your innocence. A weapon symbolizes you are willing to do harm. A spiritual weapon can be a costly thing indeed.

The most powerful weapon in my spiritual arsenal? Without a doubt – Deadwater. What is Deadwater you ask? Lucky for you folks I know the leading expert. The number one source. I turn you over to the words of my beloved brother, Frater Yaramarud, the man who provided me with this amazing substance.

“My first encounter with Deadwater came nearly a decade ago. At the time, I saw it purely as a novelty and not something with the nearly boundless potential that I know today. Traveling down the road with my good friend Frater Dreadnaught, and an ex-partner of mine, the three of us had made a late night decision to stop at the next cemetery we found in order to waste time in a way that people in their early twenties are wont to do. When we finally found one and had parked the car, a light in the center of the cemetery had drawn our attention to a pump well gently illuminated beneath it. My initial thought was one of curiosity and bewilderment. What reason could there possibly be for there to be a well here? With this question unanswered, it dawned on me that the corpses surrounding us had, beyond any doubt, decayed and seeped into the table from which this well drew.

After jokes and general fucking around, we left the cemetery without even noting its general location. Though I had lost contact with my ex-partner, Fr. Dreadnaught and I remained close friends. During this time, he had enlisted in the military and left our home state for roughly 7-8 years. Though we often discussed the possible location of the Deadwater, the only thing that either of us could remember was the highway that it was most likely located on. With him gone for years and me being the only person that could feasibly find this place, I did all I could do in order to locate it. Driving up and down the highway proved fruitless, as did looking at maps of cemeteries along the route and cross-referencing them with Google. My last effort was to post an inquiry on a local genealogy group under the guise of searching for the grave of a relative. This too led to nothing. I was forced to give up, and so it was for about six years.

Last year, however, things changed. Fr. D had moved back from California and had spent some time living with my wife and I. It was during this time that we had become determined to find this Deadwater once again. As we had both evolved in our magickal practice, it had become less of a curiosity and more of a holy grail; here was a tool that had so much latent potential, and yet it was completely out of my reach. One night in September of 2017, we had decided that, since it was once again physically possible for us to find it together, we would do exactly that.

I'll spare you the details of the ritual itself suffice to say that Fr. D and myself had performed a Goetic invocation for executing our will. In hindsight, we had made a mistake. For our statement of intent, I had simply said, “It is our will to invoke XX to lead us to the Deadwater located along Highway XX.” It was during the ritual that I was mentally given a map of the county through which the highway ran, with a marker placed by the demon. With the image still firmly visualized, we pulled up a map of cemeteries in the county that this marker could possibly represent. After making a list with their corresponding addresses, we left in search of the Deadwater.

It was the middle of nowhere; we were surrounded by corn fields in every direction. After taking the final turn, still flanked by corn on either side, the GPS indicated that we had arrived at our destination: the first cemetery on the list. There was nothing. Just corn. As Fr. D was rechecking the address, I slowed the truck to a stop. Just before we had become entirely motionless, the field opened up to reveal the stones we were looking for, but they weren't familiar at all. There was no light in the center. It was just darkness. Despite this, we decided to look around anyway. After all, we had the entire night to look, and maybe the light had burned out, or our memory of the place was faulty.

We spent roughly 30 minutes wandering between the gravestones, splitting up to cover more ground. As we both began to lose hope and had called out that we should go to the next address on the list, I noticed a dim light in the distance. I called to Fr. D to meet me and we could explore this light together. Once we had reconvened, we started walking together towards the light. Not even ten steps from when we started, our headlamps simultaneously crossed, revealing before us a pump well.

This was not the same well. We both knew that, and yet a shiver ran down both of our spines. We tested it. It worked. The demon had shown us the way, though due to our lack of precise wording, it was not the same well we had seen all those years ago. We had prepared for this moment and filled several bottles with the water, water that contained the decayed remains of hundreds of bodies, water that was the distilled essence of the dead.

Since that night, I have utilized the Deadwater in multiple ways. The first ritual that we had done with it was a joint effort between Fr. D and myself. He had volunteered to drink a small portion of the water, and a ritual was formed around this primary action. Performed twice, we discovered through Fr. D's gnosis that he was able to visualize and speak to his own ancestors. Thus, not only did this water stand as an essence of the dead that I had discovered through my own later experimentation, it was able to form a link between their realm and our own.

Its apparent linkage to death and focal point of death have proven invaluable. Apart from the aforementioned use of contacting one's ancestors, I have used it as a method of simplifying my altar. Rather than having dozens of pictures of my ancestors for veneration, I find it just as effective to place a bottle of the water with an image of my family crest as a sort of condensed fetish. Another similar use I have found is mixing the water with the gravedirt of my grandmother in order to form an anointing solution that has a direct link to my lineage and those that came before. In using it as a kind of “essential oil of death”, I have found that it works with great success in “jinx” or “hex” work as a medium for freezer spells and the like. It has also worked equally well as an intensifier for other gravedirt workings and as a component for spirit work. Though these cover only my own current experiments with the Deadwater, I know that its potential has exceeded every expectation that I have had for it. As I continue to find new uses, it continually astounds and amazes me.”

 What’s the first lesson to be learned from this amazing story? Have a tribe! There are other awesome magi out there. You can find them. It will take hard work and dedication to actually work together. I travel thousands of miles a year just to be with my tribe. But it’s so damn worth it when you experience that love and are gifted with magical knowledge, and receive gifts like 750 ml of Deadwater.

Lucky you, you can buy it online from Frater Yaramarud at his most excellent store, Welcome to Tarotdise, where he and his wife sell some amazing hand-crafted occult products.

Back to the original point and my experiences with Deadwater. As far as I know I am only the second person dumb enough to drink some of it. I immediately tasted the earth and rot of the grave. My vision dimmed, and I felt myself slipping between the land of the living and the realm of the dead. All from one sip. BTW, I in NO WAY endorse drinking the Deadwater. It is not sold for consumption. If you get intestinal parasites or a fungal infection, that’s your problem.

Meditating on the bottle sitting on my altar has produced some interesting visions. You can literally see the angry spirits swirling around in the bottle. No, they are not happy to be there. And I get the feeling the Deadwater captured some of the most malicious spirits of that particular cemetery. Is it wrong to use them for my own devices? Probably. But a magus gotta do what a magus gotta do. I’ll talk some more about the nuances of such necromantic work in a later post.

In my opinion, Deadwater is essentially spiritual toxic waste. No other spirit I know likes to go near the stuff. I really don’t want to meet the spirits that would enjoy it. For example, I recently had an altercation with a certain Red Goddess who has been fucking with my love life hard. Of course, she laughed at my admonitions of her cruel little games. Until I threatened to pour some Deadwater over her statue. She shut the fuck up real quick after that. Is it truly a threat to a goddess? I don’t know, but I certainly got the impression she wouldn’t enjoy the experience.

As noted, Frater Yaramarud had somewhat different experiences. Maybe it’s the batch I got. Maybe it’s his intent when using it, or how he mixes it with other substances. Maybe those spirits just don’t like me for whatever reason. You don’t have to use it as a weapon.

Yeah, I know a lot of this sounds a bit crazy. But part of being a magus is learning to frame your experiences in a mythic context. As my hero Miguel says, “Write your own story. Live your own myth.” Be hardcore. Get yourself some Deadwater. Better yet, harvest some of your own. Be prepared to do a lot of banishing before and after you do something like that.

[mowseries]

Allies Obstruct

=INTRO C: COLLAPSING PEACE=

((Courtesy of @codedhopes & @sirensniper))

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{Meanwhile, in England…}

[It was a peaceful evening as Jack and Kate entered the quiet flat.

The siren sniper gave a smile, her eyes hidden by the sunglasses she typically wore in her Civilian form.]

Kate: An’ here we are! Welcome to yer new digs.

[The recovering newbie fighter awkwardly made his way into the living room, looking around in awe.]

Jack: Man, it sure is nice to be out of the hospital…

[It was much nicer than any place he had lived before he joined up with Greater Dusk, that was for sure.]

Kate: Rent’s been paid for a couple months, so it’s all yours.

Jack: What? Aw, geez, Miss Eight—you didn’t have to do that—

Kate: Aw, maybe not, heh. But yew deserve something nice after all that happened. Give ya some time to let things calm down.

[Since he wasn’t sure how to respond to that, he just followed the tall assassin as she gave him a run-down of the place.]

Kate: This here’s the sitting room, Ah’ guess… bedroom’s over that way; careful about the shower, they have it kinda like a large version of a sink sprayer, real easy t’ get water everywhere…

Kate: -Walking into the kitchen- It’s all pretty small—but that’s standard for somethin’ in Britain.

[Inside the kitchen, there was a large box on the table.]

Jack: ? Uh—what’s in there?

Kate: Oh, just a lil’ somethin’ t’ get ya started. -Grins-

[Jack put down his suitcase.

Despite being a member of a (in)famous (and now banned) battle team, he didn’t really have many belongings. Only the changes of clothes that had been foisted onto him as part of the contract of being a team member… which he hadn’t been allowed to read before signing, of course.]

Jack: -Puts such thoughts aside for now- Let’s see what we’ve got here…

[Kate looked on with a relaxed smile, biting down on a dart as the clumsy combatant fumbled with the wrapping paper. She let him figure out a way to open it on his own; she was just enjoying the downtime.

It was something she didn’t get very often, with her job. Nor had she ever really had anyone other than family to spend it with. But Jack—Jack was different than the others.

As the sponsors were wont to say, he was “a good”—and he deserved nice things.]

Jack: Geez, whatever’s in here has some weight to it—!

[He heaves a large hiking backpack out of the box, looking more than a little surprised.]

Jack: A backpack?

Kate: -Gleeful ping- Yeah, that’s part of it, fer sure.

Jack: Looks like—is that a sleeping bag tied at the top?

Kate: Yup!

Jack: -Inspecting the outside- Wow, it comes with a water bottle and a compass…

[He unzips one of the compartments.]

Jack: Man, you really stuffed this to the gills. Poncho, first aid kit…

Jack: —!

[He pulls out something in clear plastic wrapping, with “Nighthawk Industries” printed on one end.]

Jack: AW SWEET COOL GOGGLES.

Kate: -Amused smile-

[He IMMEDIATELY puts those on—they fit rather nicely once he adjusted the strap—]

Jack: Dude—

Jack: These are like, perfect fit—

Kate: David had ‘em custom made. They’ve got lotsa functionality. Good for protectin’ ‘gainst rain an’ wind, a’ course…

Kate: -Puts her hand to her hip, grinning like crazy- But beyond that…~

Kate: Go look out the window, why don’cha?

[Jack glanced out the window in the kitchen, and Kate abruptly turned off the lights.]

Jack: !!!

Jack: ...? What's this—

Jack: —! OoooooOOHOHO THIS THING HAS NIGHT VISION—

Kate: Bingo~

Jack: So THIS is what the world looks like to you at night! (I feel so damn BADASS—)

Kate: -Turns the light back on- Neat, ain’t it? Lady Ky made those for ya—I put her contact info in yer phone in case you’d like another job of hers…

Jack: …? Uh… -What phone, we don’t have a— - Wait a minute…

[He eagerly starts digging through the rest of the backpack, pulling out the stuffing inside it as he went.

The top of the backpack was a nicely pressed set of casual clothes, shrunk to be airtight to pack in as much as possible. Underneath, there was a small bed roll, some blankets, and a travel/camping pillow.]

Jack: I’m surprised you didn’t put a whole tent in here, too…

Kate: Pup’s still workin’ on something that will fit but be spacious when you pop it out. He says you should just get a Spinarak an’ teach it Secret Power, an’ it’ll be even better than a tent.

Jack: Heh…

[Going through the pockets, he pulled out some maps, a small radio, a burner phone, and a wallet.]

Jack: ? -Peeks inside the wallet, curious-

Jack: !!! (That is—! A lot of gift cards! And–and cash, too?) You… -Kind of speechless-

[The sniper strode over and put her hand to his shoulder, giving a reassuring smile.]

Kate: One of these days, you’ll get outta here, Jackie. Be ready for a new life, what with GD not around anymore. That’s fer you to use t’ get around… pick out a nice ride of some kind, maybe, have a bit t’ eat an’ enough fer somewhere to stay… just until ya get yer footing. It should be good for a couple months once ya get stateside.

Jack: All this is…? (This is for me…?)

Kate: Our gift to you. | } Or… most of it, anyway. Still one more thing from Felix—he said it was important, but he’s still asleep… though his friend Piers is there t’ look after him. Ya might think of stopping by—it’s an easy shortcut to an’ through the Wilderness between worlds.

Jack: Wow, Miss Eight, I…

Jack: Honestly don’t know what to say…

Jack: -Gestures to the gifts all over the table- This is… -Gestures around the living room- All this is… man, it’s the nicest thing anyone’s done for me, ever.

Kate: Aw, it’s the least we can do! Yer a good man, Jack, an’ well-liked. ‘m only sorry we didn’t get all this to ya sooner.

[She walked over to the freezer and pulled out a gallon of ice cream. Jack’s eyes lit up when he saw it—but even moreso when she opened the fridge and brought out some steak.]

Kate: Let’s forget talkin’ fer a while an’ eat. M’ starved.

[Jack was more than happy to oblige, and Kate leaned back against the wall as she ate an ice cream cone with her one hand.

It was so nice to see Jack in such good spirits and properly well off after all that he’d been through. Ever since she first got to know him, she’d wanted to help—she’d grown more and more concerned for him the more he talked about Greater Dusk, about the way the team had treated him. She’d grown convinced he was in a dangerous situation, but even she couldn’t have anticipated what happened next.]

Kate: (Hmmmn…. The finals…. Still don’t have a good enough answer on what those crosses were. Malware of some sort, that’s for sure, but…)

[It was a grim prospect that required further investigation. It may not be her world, but she’d grown to care for the people in it.]

Kate: (Coding like that could cause a lot of damage.)

[She squinted behind her sunglasses, narrowing her eyes in distrust.]

Kate: (Whatever mysterious “provider” Jack said Blade was talking to is -probably- stateside… just like Blade is, that damn bastard…)

[Jack had told her that Blade had turned up dead.]

-=-=-=-=-

Jack: They....They sent it back to CherryDyn for them to look over what went wrong with him.

Jack: ....They said they found nothin', so they patched him up and kept him in for observation.

Jack: ....Then...

Jack: .......

Jack: He's dead, man. Dead.

Jack: .......

Jack: I...they told me he was...

Jack: Freakin' tortured…

Jack: ......

Jack: -turns away-

-=-=-=-=-

[…Kate, however, didn’t buy it for a minute.]

Kate: (That’s too convenient… Something isn’t right, here…)

Kate: -Broods- (That worm isn’t going to escape justice THAT easily, no sir…)

[…She was almost tempted to see to it herself, when she did come across him. But no—he had too much to answer for, and she would have to keep her head high and not sink to his level by turning away from doing the right thing.

Didn’t mean she couldn’t have the satisfaction of imagining otherwise.]

Kate: …

Kate: -Frowns and sighs internally- (…Look at me.)

Kate: (Off of work for once, and saddling myself up with another “case” that needs someone who cares…. Maybe Sis is right. Maybe I am a workaholic…)

Kate: -Finishes off the ice cream- Jack— do me a favor an’ make another cone, please…

Jack: Yeah, sure thing—

[She rubbed what was left of her right arm thoughtfully as he prepared seconds for her.]

Kate: (Not even on a job an’ I’m out there thinking like a killer…. Gotta try to remember not to let myself grow that bitter at the world…)

Jack: …Miss Eight?

Kate: Hmm?

Jack: I’ve been… wondering something…

Kate: -Accepts the second ice cream cone- Yeah?

Jack: I don't know how to word this right, but...

Jack: ...Stuff like this is kinda your thing, I know, but...why go through all this for me? I mean—I'm not anyone THAT important, and on top of that, I'm a Cherry…

Kate: …Well…. Ya… ya always treated me like a person. Not very many people do. -Looks away in thought- ‘m just Fighting Mighty Eight to them— or Artemis, herald of death. Or just a pretty face with lots of money to burn.

Kate: That means something to me.

Jack:  ...Really, huh... (I guess, with what she does…)

[There was silence for a while as Kate finished off the second ice cream cone. This time, she seemed satisfied.]

Kate: Thanks for the help, Jack. I could do it myself, but it’s awfully messy, heh…

Jack: Oh, no problem.

Kate: -Turns on the faucet to wash her hand- Well, this was a nice evening. It was good to see you settled in.

Jack: Oh—are you headed off?

Kate: Yes.

[She wiped her hand on a dishcloth as best she could.]

Kate: Stateside.

Jack: Wh—You're going back to America? This soon?

Kate: I have some investigating t’ do, Jack…. Ah’ don’t think this is over yet.

Jack: -Internal groaning- (Agh, she’s probably right…)

Kate: Things may have died down, but… somethin’ is wrong over there, Ah’m sure of it.

Kate: -Turns to face him- Y’ need t’ lay low for a while, too. I hate t’ leave at a tahm like this, but the longer it waits, the colder the trail gets. You should be safe here from any prying eyes of this world—but just in case…

[She walks over and places something on the table.]

Jack: A… is that a taser?

Kate: -Momentary twitch of a smile- (…Figured you’d just hurt yourself with pepper spray, so…) Between that an’ yer Combat abilities, you should be able t’ hold yer own long enough to call for help. -Points over at the cell phone- Either ping somebody or—couple a’ contacts in there, just a call away.

Jack: I...um.

Kate: Yes?

Jack: Look, I appreciate the gesture, Miss Eight, just—do I really need this thing, I mean, it's a little much—

[The Mighty Number works her dart over to the other side of her mouth and tilts her head just so, giving the CDN a look that said otherwise.]

Kate: ....

Jack: …Right, stupid question—

Jack: Thanks, I guess...

Kate: Hmm hmm. Yer welcome. Ah' better git goin' nao.

Kate: Stay safe, Jack Parker.

Kate: I’ll be in touch when I figure things out.

Jack: M'kay. Don't go do anything too crazy, alright?

[She gave a characteristic grin, slowly fading away from sight. There was the rattle of the front door, and then she was gone.

Jack takes another fresh look around his new home, rubbing the back of his head quietly as he sinks down into the couch. He couldn't help but wish Miss Eight would've stuck around a little more, but it wasn't like he could stop her.

She's got her mind set on things for his sake, too.]

Jack: (…Guess I better start looking over this stuff…)

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[markleetrashh]

Best Friend WinWin

Request: I was just wondering would you be able to write a best friend Winwin cause I think he would be the perfect best friend??

A/N: i apologise that this is so short 😫

i feel like i’ve said this endless times already but i love it when chinaline gets requests!!

and yes i agree with you winwin’s best friend material 💯💯

even though he’s just a child at times tbh

it’s been long since i did this series!

okay i wont go on anymore let’s start

so how you met him

typical but he was that one transfer kid in high school to your class

and he was so so shy??

he held his head down most of the time when introducing himself aw

so the teacher asked him to seat at back of the class so he wouldn’t feel that uncomfortable

and guess what, you’re three seats away from him

and you couldn’t help but stare because he’s so adorable and shy??

and just when you were staring he caught eye contact with you and you saw how big his eyes widened and you probably scared him

and that was his first impression of you

“creepy girl who kept staring at me on my first day”

and you found he also joined the school dance team after a few days and you were shookt because it was hard to get in, like how’d he get in so easily??

flexible and talented boy

but then you also notice how quiet he was and seemed so uncomfortable be it during break time or class

so you and your bff jaehyun decided to talk to him and join him

“hey just wanted to ask if you wanna join me and jae for lunch later?”

“me?… ahh sure…”

and he blushes like mad and gets embarrassed for no reason

soon enough he’s with you 24/7

and because jaehyun’s always busy with his other friends too it were many opportunities for winwin and you to get closer

like that one day you tricked him into going to a haunted house at the amusement park

half of the time he was tugging and pulling at your arm screaming loudly

“i WOULD HAVE DIED WITHOUT YOU BACK IN THERE AND IM THANKFUL FOR THAT BUT YOU’RE STILL NOT FORGIVEN FOR TRICKING ME-”

turns out it only takes an ice cream cone to get forgiven

“i love ice cream!!! thank you bestie hehe”

acts like a small kid most of the time

and when you call him out on that he gets all defensive

“you’re the kid here, you’re so mean to me”

“we’re only a few months apart, im not that young”

proceeds to giggle and laugh like an innocent child

asks you to buy gifts for him

and you cant resist because he’s so cute??

but at the same time he pays you back by treating you to meals and buying you the things you like too

seems innocent but is lowkey plotting pranks to play on you

and his acting is so good you always fall for them

more of a listener than a talker

on exceptional days where he’s in a really good mood he could go on talking for hours

but normally he’s just listening to you ramble on about your life and just casually adding comments

even though he doesnt really give great advice, he still tries his best and his listening is more than enough for you

but when he has problems he’s always too afraid to share them with you

not because he doesnt trust you,

he just doesnt want to bother or disturb you

and also because he isnt good with his words

but as soon as you comforted him and assure him that it was okay,

he’d start stating how he feels and soon it’d turn into a rant session

really supportive and encouraging

always the first one to like and comment on your photos when you post some up

“didn’t know my best friend was this pretty”

“you need a picture of us up soon”

“i thought i told you to post the other one up??? why did you post this. but you still look great so”

probably texts you in the middle of the night to ask you weird questions

and he wouldn’t stop until you reply

but when you do the same to him he gets all grumpy that you woke him up from his sleep

but the next day he forgets all about it

never gets angry at you, ever

at the most, he’d just be pissed off or annoyed

but by the next hour he’d be all giggly and happy again

doesnt show it much but loves it when you’re happy

because your happiness makes him happy too

and he loves it most when you smile

which is why he always pokes your cheeks and squeeze them when you do

loves taking weird selfies with you

and they always go up to 50 over pictures in one seating

which is why both of your phone storage hardly have enough space

has his lockscreen set to a picture of you two

begs and asks you to watch anime and play games with him

and he’d get super clingy and whiny if you dont

which you agree to because you love doing those two anyways

both of you have gotten so close jaehyun even thought the both of you were dating

“winwin ah, are you and Y/N… together?”

“no!! never haha, she’s just my best friend and i treat her like me sister”

“really? the both of you are super close though?”

“cant help it haha”

loves having small little conversations with you

yall could spend the whole night just reminiscing on all the memories you two had

and he’d also share with you his childhood stories when he was in china

and you find it so amusing because in others’ eyes he’s an awkward bun who hardly says anything

but with you it is as though he’s a talking machine

but it also shows how much he trusts you and treats you like a best friend

“thank you so much and i love you for all you’ve done for me ever since i stepped into the school the first day a few years back”

[imreszekeres]

for the anon that wanted all 100

1. Name- Ash! 2. Age- 18 3. City that you live in- fear, usually 4. What do most people not know about you?- nothing really, i compulsively release useless information about myself 5. What do most people know you for?- being fat and annoying 6. Hobbies- makeup, youtubers, sleeping, writing, drawing 7. What are your passions?- writing 8. What do you search for in a significant other?- i really Really need to be understood, and someone who is patient is nice too 7. What are you most proud of?- I hav gone to State and gotten within the top 10% in my Journalism competitions, which puts me in the top .08% of all high school students in my state. :-) im good for some things 8. When was the last time you had a significant conversation with someone you love?- every day when I talk to @pizzasteveofficial <3 all our conversations are significant 2 me 9. Have you ever collected anything? What was it?- I collect my tears in a jar and store them, then shower in them every night 10. List 10 things off of your bucket list.- I want to get married in the snow, have a daughter, get a Heartagram tattoo (at least one lol), write a successful book, and.. idk what else :0 11. What was the last thing you learned?- jesus I dont know, you learn sth new every day! hard to remember 12. How many relationships have you been in?- um.. 7 I think i feel like im forgetting one tho. I wont name them obvi but i think im forgetting one? i feel like ive been in 8 oh well 13. Turn ons- validation 14. Turn offs- being alive 15. Favorite food- frozen yogurt! I like the vanilla or white chocolate flavor with looots of toppings 16. Favorite drink- Coke 17. What is the best birthday gift you have ever received?- i dont really know! I dont remember a lot of my birthdays for trauma reasons so  18. Are you optimistic or pessimistic?- pessimistic by far lol 19. Do you sleep during class?- its happened a handful of times, I try not to bc I HATE missing work its annoying 20. What is the most expensive thing you own?- myself?? jk its my laptop 21. What is the cheapest yet most useful thing you own?- a 1 dollar ELF blending brush. yall those things are bomb please go buy some! 22. How many times a day on average do you check your phone?- that number does not exist holy shit  23. Text or call?- TEXT BLEASE I HAVE SUCH BAD HEARING 24. Opinion on long distance?- it can work! ive done it a lot of times. distance has never been whats broken a relationship for me, not directly anyway 25. What is your definition of success?- success is when you’re happy. you do not have many worries, not the kind that keep you awake at night or make your tummy sick anyway. You have people that love you and, if you died, you’d be remembered as a good bean 26. Favorite song?- right now im really diggin “Hate (I Really Dont Like You)” by the plain white Ts 27. Favorite artist?- HIM!!!!!!!!!!!! <3 28. Celebrity crush/crushes?- Ville Valo ALWAYS lmao hes my god 29. When was the last time you read for fun?- like last month 30. Favorite flower?- roses 31. What is the best gift you could receive right now?- a plane ticket to Connecticut and like 1000 dollars 32. Any guilty pleasures?- pop... music... BUT LIKE THE GOOD KIND U FEEL? I DONT LIKE STUFF FROM THE LAST 2 OR 3 YEARs...  33. What is one thing you would like to change about yourself?- my weight, and that sounds so shallow but it. is taking a toll on me. 34. What do you search for in a friend?- someone who is like me! 35. How many times have you said "I love you" in the past month?- not enough 36. Where did you last go other than your room/home?- school.. 37. Why do bad things happen to good people?- because life isnt fair 38. In your opinion, what hurts more? Being left out or being stabbed in the eye?- what the fuck being stabbed in the eye have you ever been stabbed in the fucking eye? because i havent and i can already tell you that if my friends were talking without me and then someone stabbed me in the fuCKING EYE I WOULD BE JUST A LITTLE BIT MORE PREOCCUPIED WITH BEING STABBED IN THE E Y E  39. How many green shirts do you own?- none lol 40. Do you like anime?- sure! I dont watch it rn but i dont watch anything rn, haha 41. What do you invest the most time in?- sleeping,, 42. What was the name of the last book you read?- Rebecca :3 very gud book 43. What's the difference between loving and liking someone?- when ur main squeeze gets a hair cut and u still wanna suck their dingus u love em, thats it sorry i dont make the rules 44. Where are you most productive?- i dont.. know what this is asking lol I’m most protective over my romantic partners. As much as I’d love to say im most protective over Sarah, nothing compares to how “troll guarding his treasure” i am w/my loves.......... *eyes @my crush* 45. List 3 things you enjoy doing with friends.- talking shit abt rude ppl, playing vidya gaem, and talking abt life 46. List 3 things you enjoy doing alone.- watching makeup tutorials, watching lets plays, and thinking about everything and anything 47. Do you believe world peace will ever exist?- absolutely not. theres too many people on the earth to achieve that 48. Do you have any allergies?- Not to anything specific but i get them really often seasonally. i get them pretty much every time the weather changes :( 49. When was the last time you cussed at someone?- i mean.. every day of my life so like 50. What was the last promise you made?- idek dude 51. What was your last dream about?- IT WAS SO WEIRD IT WAS ABOUT MY CRUSH’S MOM? I DREAMT THAT SHE WAS A DEMON WHO STORED HER EGGS IN LITTLE PORCELAIN JARS AND THAT MY CRUSH HAD AN EAR INFECTION AND WE WERE IN A SNOWY VILLAGE IDK DONT ASK ME its weird bc my crushs mom is so sweet... 52. If you won a trip to Hawaii and you could take 5 people with you, who would those 5 people be?- i would literally only take Sarah bc i hate everyone 53. How many countries have you visited?- ive never been outside the US 54. What is your favorite medium of art? (Music, dance, painting, etc.)- writing :-) 56. When was the last time somebody complimented you?- those nice anons i got yesterday/the other day! 56. If you switched bodies with someone, how would you recognize yourself?- what do u even mean? youd know bc youd be like THIS ISNT MY BODY 57. Do you consider yourself mature?- kind of, yes 58. How many days in your life do you think you have wasted on tumblr?- too fuckin many 59. What is your favorite quote?- “Worship Satan!” -Ville Valo (no but rly any HIM lyric is my favorite quote, theyre so beautiful,,,) 60. If you started a new religion and you had to create 3 rules or commandments for your new followers to live by, what would those 3 rules be?- dont hurt ppl unless they hurt u, dont touch ppl unless they want u to, and respect gender/sexuality 61. What is your greatest accomplishment?- going 2 state! 62. Do you believe in the death penalty?- yeah i actually think it should b used more lol, kill all rapists and p*dophiles :-) 63. What are your goals for life?- i just wanna b happy, man 64. What do you think your soulmate is doing right now?- being a fucking idiot, probably 65. If you could live anywhere, where would you live? The place can be in an imaginary, fantasy, or the real world.- CALIFORNIA LMAO IM SUCH A SUCKER FOR CALIFORNIA AND I NEVER EVEN BEEN THERE 66. What were you like in 2013?- awful but also really sweet... then again i wasnt TECHNICALLY the host so lol  67. Do you have a job?- no :( i cant drive 68. Tell us a story about your childhood best friend.- she was an abusive bitch who took out her parents hating her on me the end 69. If you could change one thing about society, what would it be?- i would make discrimination a way more serious crime than it is taken for rn. ppl who discriminate should b put in jail 70. How many all-nighters have you pulled before?- just one when i had to install the sims and it took 6 years 71. Is tumblr your favorite website? If not, then what is your favorite website?- my fave website is youtube 72. What is the craziest thing you would do for a million dollars?- suck a dick, i guess 73. Does money equal happiness?- not all the time but it sure can 74. How many times have you experienced true happiness in your lifetime?- never, i dont think 75. How many times have you experienced true sadness in your lifetime?- too many times 76. What is the funniest joke you have ever been told?- you know that joke abt the blind man at the beginning of Crazy Rap? yeah thats fucking HILARIOUS  77. When was the last time you looked at the news?- this morn :0 78. If you could say one thing to the world, what would you say?- im gay 79. What is your favorite animal?- RACCOONS!!!!!!!!!!!! 80. If you could earn a million dollars by pretending to be dead for 3 years, would you do it?- i mean sure lmao nobody would b upset about it so 81. What is one thing that everyone is bad at?- being a human. 82. What time do you normally sleep? How many hours of sleep do you usually get?- i usually go to bed at 10 and get like 6 or 7 hours 83. Does age necessarily equal maturity?- not at all! 84. What is your favorite clothing store?- hot topic lol 85. In the winter- beanies or gloves?- gloves b 86. Would you rather have wings or a fish tail?- wings?? why would i want a fish tail 87. If you had the power to erase one person from the world so that nobody remembered him or her except you, would you do it?- absofuckinglutely.  88. What do you fear the most?- being like my rapist. thats a little too deep than i like to go but im being honest, thats literally my biggest fear Ever 89. How many digits of pi can you recite?- 3.14 lmfao i hate math 90. If you could travel back to one year and relive it again, which year would it be?- 2004. I would stop it before it happened. :-( 91. Describe yourself in one word.- stupid 92. Describe your last victory.- i woke up today w/o killin meself 93. What is the weirdest thing you have ever seen?- bendytoots cucumberpitch’s face 94. What is something you will never forget?- prom.. something rly nice happened 95. Would you rather forget all of the past or remember everything in vivid detail?- forget everything. please 96. Have you ever broken a bone before?- nope! 97. Is it harder to love or to hate somebody?- probably harder to love them lol 98. Coffee or tea?- coffer 99. What are some little things that you do that have changed your life in a positive way?- I dont overdose on a constant basis in a BPD-fueled rage any more so thats good 100. How many hours have you spend on tumblr today?- probably 1 or 2?

[complimentaryculler]

ok so this is my first time this kind of thing, so if you have any advice i’d really appreciate it.

Dave looked at the dragon. It (he?) Was half buried in books and treasure, a strange mix in the hoard, was sleeping peacefully. He looked almost human, a boyish face just at the cusp of adulthood, but for the gray scales and nubs of horns. He steeled himself, reminding himself of his sister’s disappearance at the hands of such a creature, even if it wasn’t this one. He drew his broadsword, the scrape of steel on steel echoing faintly around the cavern. Not faintly enough, as the dragon shook himself sleepily, looking around dazedly until locking his eyes on Dave. “Fuck. I get all my hoard in one place; even get my own gogdamned territory, and what happens? Some foppish asshole with his sniffnode stuffed so far up his wastechute he can see daylight decides that ‘oh yes, today looks like a lovely day to murder someone!!!” And pranced his way to my hive to do just that! Well not today spazmaggot! Come back later! I am flat out refusing to deal with this hoofbeastshit!” He snarled out furiously, his subvocals humming like a hive of wasps with a grudge. He burrowed into his hoard deep, as if that would dissuade the knight. Dave raised an eyebrow. “Sorry dude, no can do, gotta protect all the lil farmer dudes and swooning maidens, can’t really keep ‘em safe if there’s a marauding dragon about, all setting fires and eating people and shit," he said, readying his stance as the dragon stood, shaking off the more stubborn parts of his hoard. He leapt from the top of his pile, wings making a graceful glide to the floor. “First of all, fuck you, I’ve never even killed someone, so I’m hardly marauding. Second of all, I buy the food I eat, so that’s wrong too. Third of all, I literally just moved here, so fuck you for making me get up for your shit! So you can just shove your impertinent sniffnode so far up your wastechute you can see daylight and pail yourself on your stupid sword all the way back to your hive!” he was practically screeching by the end of it. “Dude, you need to chill,” Dave said, flashstepping forward. His sword was trapped in two sickles he hadn’t seen been drawn, and with an expert twist, it was shattered. Ducking down, he drew his short sword, and aimed to clip a wing to keep him on the ground. Instead, the dragon tugged his leg forward, bringing him onto the ground, and leapt over him and into the air, hovering near a stalactite, his glowing throat betraying the flames threatening. Dave rolled out of the way, and perched on a pile of books, hoping he wouldn’t risk his hoard to dispose of an intruder.  "I’m just trying to find my sister and “ooh a dragon lives here, definitely", but he’s not even green, and it’s too fuckin early for this” he muttered, and the dragon glared at him. “What, so you just went around asking about a dragon and didn’t even specify the color? You’re a fucking idiot.” Dave flushed, glad for the orange lighting, and tried to play him hearing his muttering off. “Dude, I don’t know how you dragons work, maybe you’re all chameleons, I don’t know this shit, I’m just a knight.” The dragon rolled his eyes. “It’s Karkat, not ‘you dragon’, and what color green was it?” “What” Dave said blankly. “What color green was it? This is very important to the health of your human sister.” “I dunno, green? I’m not a color theorist. Why does it matter?”  The dra- Karkat - sighed deeply. “Because I’m offering, you moronic fuck, to negotiate with the other one, and I would really rather not to have to visit every green dragon in a fifty mile radius. Preferably, you and your idiotic kin would leave me alone after this.” His throat cooled, and he dropped to the floor, fastening his sickles back to his side sheathes. "Do I have an oath?” Dave considered it for a moment. Dragons kept their oaths, but if reneged on could level palaces with their fury. “Fine. I want my sister freed, and I want our kingdom safe from you, and the Dersite knights will leave you alone.” “Deal. Now we should get moving if you want to get even a third of the way to Terezi’s by nightfall, as I refuse to carry you. I assume you have a horse?” “Duh dude, of course I do, I couldn’t leave Maplehoof all alone in the big dark castle while I slew mighty beasts. ”Leave it. It’s safer here for it. And I’m not the one going around murdering anyone I can find.” “Fair enough. But I’m not leaving Maplehoof.” “Oh yes you-”

The forest path looked like a war zone of color. Overturned trees splattered in color, her stupid smiley carved into their trunks, and then fucking risk’s mixed in too. They were the most vomit-worthy (and quadrant smearing) couple Karkat had ever had the displeasure to meet.  ‘This was a terrible idea.’ he thought. The knight was chattering about something, Gog knows what by this point, and Karkat really wish he had stayed with the horse as he had threatened when told to leave her three days ago. Judging by the increase in colors, they’d be at Terezi’s hive in another quarter hour. They continued walking. Finally they got there. “Ay ‘Rezi, get out here!” He called. “No dice, sh8uty!” An irritating voice called. Vriska. Of course. This couldn’t get any worse, could it? “Luckily, you get to see me!” She said, strolling into the sunlight in her shitty FLARP costume, pointed tail lashing around as she strutted. She had an entire peacock tail on her hat this time. Of course she did. Karkat rolled his eyes. “Wow, nice hat spiderbitch, now where’s Terezi? Off licking someone’s eyeballs again, or maybe pestering them about their scales?” “Sorry Karkles, she pro8a8ly wont be back soon, you should just leave already. You can leave your gift though, I’m sure she’ll love it.” She sneered. “Holy fuck Vriska, not everyone just goes around abducting humans, not like you’d-“ Dave gave out a squawk, and turned around, his sword half unsheathed. “WOW K4RK4T, D1DN’T 3XP3CT TO SN1FF YOU H3R3! WH4T BR1NGS YOU 4ND M1ST3R CH3RRY TO MY N3CK OF TH3 WOODS?” she rasped out, leaning on Karkat’s shoulder. “The idiot you just slobbered over needs me to find his human sister in exchange for the rest of the shitty knights leaving me alone. Apparently the dragon that took her was green.” He said, nodding toward Dave. “We could always eat him for you if you really waaaaaaaanted us to, Karkles. You know we’re always happy to help you out.” Vriska grinned. “H3 DO3S T4ST3 D3L1C1OUS. 4LMOST L1K3 4 CH3RRY P13!” “Reminds me of someone, too, riiiiiiiight Karkles?” Gog, were they tag teaming him? He had to get out of here. “Do you have his human sister or not Terezi?” he asked tiredly, hoping his tone would throw them off the scent. “Hmm, I don’t know Terezi, doooooooo we?” “GOODN3SS, 1 DON’T KNOW! 1 MUST 1NVE3ST1G4T3 TH1S! ST4ND 4S1D3 M4RQU1S3, OR B3 CH4RG3D W1TH OBSTRUCT1ON OF JUST1C3!” “Gasp, whateeeeeeeever shall I do?” Vriska swooned into Terezi’s arms. Karkat groaned, executing a facepalm x2 combo. They started making out. Enthusiastically. For eight minutes. Karkat was yelling for most of them. “GOD, DO YOU HAVE TO SUCK FACE EVERY FEW MINUTES IN A PERVETED QUARDRANT-SMEARING DISPLAY EVERY SINGLE TIME SOMEONE VISITS YOU SO YOUR SNARK GLANDS DON’T EXPLODE MESSILY OVER INOCCENT BYSTANDERS, OR AM I THE ONLY ONE YOU TORMENT LIKE THIS?” Karkat huffed out, out of breath after yelling for so long. “WHY K4RK4T, YOU KNOW YOU’R3 4LW4YS W3LCOM3 TO JO1N US, TH3R3’S NO N33D TO G3T J34LOUS!” Terezi cackled. “YOUR FR13ND IS W3LCOM3 TO TRY TOO.” She winked. “I wouldn’t touch the possibility of a quadrant with you with a ten foot pole made entirely of my own regrets.” Dave spoke. ”Well, I certainly wouldn’t be averse to join the party, myself.” He smirked. Karkat felt like vomiting, and looked over to see Vriska’s face in an expression akin to fury and snark’s hatechild. They needed to get out of here. “Well anyway we should get going bye Terezi, nice seeing you, have a nice day!” He grabbed onto Dave’s shoulder, forcefully pulling him away at a quick pace. “8yeeeeeeee Karkat! Nice meeting your friend! Come 8ack soon! Or don’t! Whatever!” Waving with his free hand, he made a quick retreat, not stopping until the colorful trees faded into the background. “Dude what the fuck? I was having a good time with those broads. Wait, were they even girls? Do dragons have gender?”  Karkat let out a long groan. “I pulled you away because in case you didn’t notice, Vriska was ready to cull you for flirting with her moirail-sprite-mesis whatever!” Dave actually seemed surprised. “Wait, what? It was just play-flirting, dude, I wasn’t serious.” Humans were so fucking obtuse. “You think Vriska can tell? She was ready to rip out your throat, trust me. The last guy that tried that can’t use his gills anymore. Come on, we need to find a good place to make camp.” “Aye aye sir.”

      They found a sheltered overhang and made a fire, cooking a small fawn they had caught. Karkat ate the bones, too, making Dave wince at the familiar crack. Karkat stopped after that, not wanting to ask. They both sat, picking at their cloaks or staring into the distance, unwilling to make themselves so defenseless near the other. They snuck glances at the other over the fire, studying their movements and features, looking away hurriedly when the other shifted. Eventually, lulled by the silence and the warmth of the fire, they fell into a soft slumber on the hard ground, neither noticing the other losing their wakefulness.

      Karkat woke in the early morning of the eight day of their “journey”, hazy gray fog dissuading any who would peek their heads out from the safety of their homes. Casting a glance at Dave, he noticed the knight’s shaking, causing a faint rattling of his armor as his lips moved in silent pleading. He rushed over shaking him awake. “Dave, its just a dream, wake up!” Dave’s eyes snapped open as he threw a punch. “BRO, STOP!” he shouted, only vaguely realizing where he was. Karkat felt something wet on his cheek. He raised a hand to it curiously, coming away with blood. His blood. It was dripping from a small cut on his cheek. His pupils went wide, looking at Dave, who was staring at the red on his gauntlet. Backing up until he felt the cave wall at his back, he drew his sickles, eyes wide with terror. ‘Not again.’ he thought. ‘Not again.’ Dave’s eyes were still on him. “You’re a red blood,” he breathed. “Holy shit.”  Karkat was shaking “I-I’ll cull you, you’ll never find your sister without me, I’ll-I’ll-” Dave raised a placating hand, dropping it when Karkat flinched. “Dude, I’m not going to kill you, just- just surprised is all, I thought they were hunted into extinction, you know? What with the whole, like, trophy bullshit with pretty much everyone? Aw shit dude, I’m sorry for bring that up, I just ramble when I’m nervous and shit, ya get me? I‘ma shut up now.” Karkat slumped onto the ground, sagging in relief. “Oh thank fuck,” he breathed. “Thank fuck.” He fainted. Dave got up, slightly concerned, and tapped him in the leg with a boot. He shot up. “MOTHER FUC- wait, what?” “Fainted dude. Don’t worry, you were only out for a few seconds.” Karkat sighed. “Good. We should probably get moving. We have a long way to go to get to Nepeta’s.”

      He wasn’t kidding. They walked for six days, avoiding roads and knight outposts, making camp and hunting game, until they finally got to the entrance of her system of caves. Karkat offered up a small prayer that Equius wouldn’t be there. Judging by the freshly shattered glass his prayers hadn’t been answered, but there was always hope. Suddenly, he found himself on the ground, claws digging into his shoulder and a faded green jacket practically draped over him. “Heeeeey Karkitty! Whatefur are mew doing here?” Nepeta picked herself up, offering Karkat a hand he took gratefully, brushing the cave dirt off his shirt. “I came here to find out if you had this dickbag’s sister. Apparently if I get her back from whoever has her I won’t be culled by knights. I got an oath too, so it’s binding.” “Oh, I’m sorry Karkitty, I don’t have purr! I would have taken her mewself if I’d known it would get knights to leave mew alone, though. Good luck!” she smiled with her cleft lip, sharp fangs stained with blood from a fresh kill staining them purple. Dave shuddered in the corner of Karkat’s eye. “Of course, mew could always come to me and Equius if you need help with humans! Purresent company included, of course!” She smiled, looking over to Dave with a sharp grin. ‘What is it with these broads and wanting to eat me?!” Dave whispered. Karkat and Nepeta ignored him. “Nah, that’d just get them all after me, and I just got settled in at the new place, so it’d be a real bitch to move it all again.” A deep voice startled him. “Besides Nepeta, humans are simply not healthy for a young olive such as yourself.” Equius strode forward, wiping his wet and greasy hands on a damp towel and swung it over his shoulder, and stood behind Nepeta. “Oh there mew are Equius! Karkitty’s here!” Equius grimaced. “Yes, I can see him. Why did you lead a trained knight to our hive?” Karkat rolled his eyes. ”We both know that Nepeta could make mincemeat out of a score of knights in an hour. We’ve seen her fucking decimate a cholerabear pack faster, and they’re must bigger and faster than any of these tin cans. Besides, its not like you cant handle yourself either.” Nepeta smiled, eyes light up like a spotlight and darting in between them. “Actually Karkat, I’ve got a mew type of chameowmile tea that I’d like mew to try, would mew like to stay a while? Your furrend can have some too if he’d like!” “Thanks, but we have to get moving. Kanaya’s is pretty far away still, and I really don’t want to have to waste anymore time on this shit.” Nepeta nodded, her shippurr’s gleam fading. “Ok, bye Karkitty, see mew! Come back anytime!” she waved. Equius nodded.  Karkat walked off tiredly, Dave trailing behind him. Safely ensconced in the trees, Dave turned to the tired lump that was once Karkat. “Dude what the entire fuck was that. Like there was some cat girl who wanted to eat me, and then some buff sweaty dude talking about how it wouldn’t be healthy? And he kept on like, staring at me, just standing there all creepy? Also, why was she flirting with you? Wasn’t the buff dude her boyfriend? Dude? Dude are you dead I do not wanna go back there.” “Please just shut up and let me die in peace.” Karkat groaned. “Just- just give me a minute, ok? Those guys really take it out of me really, being around Nepeta always makes me feel guilty for not liking her back and Equius is just plain fucking creepy.” Finally lifting himself off, he looked around to get his bearings. He led Dave to a cave, and promptly passed the fuck out, only staying awake long enough to light the fire for to keep away wild animals while Dave hunted for their dinner.

      He woke to the feeling of Dave’s cotton under-mail shirt’s sleeve draped over his chest. Dave had started huddling closer to him in his sleep after a few weeks, probably for warmth, but it was cute nonetheless. His white-blond hair was scattered over his closed eyelids, and a galaxy of stars appeared where his helmet didn’t cover his face. The little moon-crest of Derse was cute on his forehead, even if the freckle splotching did look silly. Karkat smiled to himself, it was nice to have a peaceful moment for once in a while. He’d been caught up in moving, what with having to flee rather hurriedly from hunters, and then the terror of the first nights spent traveling with a knight he didn’t know, and the snarky broads on top of it. It was nice being able to just rest awhile. He still couldn’t believe that Kanaya had fucking kidnapped this Rose girl though. ‘I mean, yeah, she has made plenty of mistakes with human courtship before, but this is pretty extreme. The only other reason she would have taken her would be to protect someone she cared for, but she isn’t the type to shirk away from culling for the good of others.’ He cast about for another reason, but he really couldn’t figure it out. ‘After all, this Rose was a seer, not a fabric maker, and Kanaya is much too polite to kidnap someone for their cloth-making. Vriska had probably just fed her some bullshit she heard from a drunken human in a bar and she had taken it like the gay sap she was. Terezi was always telling her that humans were not to be trusted if they were in a tavern but she never fucking listened, did she. And poor poor Kanaya had believed her. Or maybe it was Eridan; he had never been good with flirting, dragon or no. She had to have more sense than that, right?’ Suddenly, he was shaken out of his thoughts by a squirming human against his side. “Whoa bro, were you just cuddling up to me? Was this a secret cuddle pile and I wasn’t informed, how could you do this to me bro, I trusted you man, come on.” “Oh please, I stayed right where I was all night, you’re the one who wiggled his way over here like a demented grub.” “Lies and slander. I won’t stand for it in this house, young man.”  Dave managed his serious façade for a few seconds, before breaking out in giggles with Karkat.

      They broke camp and began hiking towards the mountain, weaving through the trees and trading stories about Rose and Kanaya respectively. Karkat couldn’t believe she had actually kidnapped someone, and Dave couldn’t believe Rose let her what with her seer powers and bond with the horror terrors. They both agreed that it was fucking weird of both of them. They reached the mountain town, and Karkat asked about the dragon who lived on his mountain. Glancing curiously at the two of them, the villager tilted his head back, eyeing them closely. “The dragon who lives here, she protects us, see, and we’d rather she was safer than not, so I’m going to have to deny you that traveler.” Karkat pulled back his hood, relived. “Oh, you guys like her? I mean, I’m not surprised, classic Kanaya really, but she’s a friend of mine and I’d like to see her. I can vouch for him too.” He said pleasantly as he flicked his pointed ears in the mountain sunlight. The man smiled kindly. “Oh of course! Normally we don’t get any visitors but challenging knights, and the poor girl can really only handle so much, you know?” “Trust me, I know just what you’re talking about.” Karkat agreed, glaring playfully at Dave, a smile dancing around his thin black lips.

      Following the winding path pointed out by the village-person, Dave walked quickly, ready to see his sister after hard weeks of traveling. They reached the door to the cottage-cave hive hybrid, and looked at each other for a moment, nodding at each other. Karkat knocked. “Hey Kanaya, you in there?” he called. “Just a minute, if you please,” a muffled voice answered. Opening the door, Karkat came face to face with- a fucking human? Wait, was this Rose? What the fuck was going on? “Ah hello dear brother, do come in, and would you mind informing me who your friend is?” Rose said pleasantly. “Rose what the fuck you disappeared we thought you were kidnapped, you were just gone and people said that you got carried off by some green dragon and I went looking for you, what the fuck is even going on?!” Rose looked taken aback. ��What are you talking about? Wh-what happened? Didn’t you read my note???” “What note?!?!”        

      “So what you’re telling me is that you did not see any letter at all, heard accounts from some villagers of an abduction by a dragon, and immediately set out to kill the first dragon you saw?” Dave grumbled. “Look rose, I’m not the one who ran away with their dragon girlfriend without telling anyone, now am I?” rose raised her eyebrow. “Oh, aren’t you? Excuse me, datemate, I don’t mean to presume.” She said, flapping her hand at Karkat in a pacifying gesture. Karkat had remained silent, sipping at his coffee, at the table while the twins chattered like no tomorrow, but at this, he sat up. “So what you’re telling me, Davey, is that you oh so conveniently lost your sister’s letter, showed up at my hive, THREATENED TO KILL ME, FORCED ME INTO BARGAINING FOR MY LIFE, AND SENT ME ON A LONG JOURNEY TO SEE WHO HAD YOUR HUMAN SISTER, FORCED ME TO PUT UP WITH ASSHOLE BLUEBLOODS, ALL FOR US TO FIND OUT THAT YOUR HUMAN SISTER WAS ACTUALLY HAVING A DANDY TIME WITH HER GIRLFRIEND? IS THAT WHAT IS CURRENTLY COMING OUT OF YOUR INSUFFERABLE WINDHOLE? SWEET ALMIGHTY TAINTCHAFING FUCK, FUCKING TELL ME OTHER WISE, OR I SWEAR TO YOUR STUPID HUMAN GOG I’LL EXPLODE MESSILY INTO A COMPLETELY NEW UNIVERSE, CREATED PURELY OUT OF MY OWN SHITHIVE WRITHING HELLISH ANGUISH BLADDER IMPREGNATING THE VERY SPACE AROUND IT WITH RAGE AS PURE AS THE FLUIDS POURING FROM THE MOTHER GRUBS UNDULATING ASSHOLE WHILE YOU GET STUNG BY RIPPERWASPS IN YOUR MINISCULE BULGE, DAVE, YOU LIMP FRONDED LOONEYBLOCK-MAKING SEEDFLAP-JERKING NOOK-LICKING BULE-FONDLING FREAKOUT WEASEL ON SOPOR!!!” Karkat was wheezing by the end, his eyes blown, hand bleeding from his shattered cup, chair knocked over from when he stood suddenly, hair as wild and snarled as seemingly possible. He was stunning. ‘Oh shit ‘ Dave thought, as rose looked at him in confusion, ‘did I say’ that out loud?’ “What the fuck are you talking about?” shit shit shit shit. Code red, all systems go soldier. “I mean, I guess I kinda... like you? I mean you’re really smart, and you get really passionate about the things you care about, and you’re really funny and caring behind your prickly shell, and you are really understanding about my nightmares and shit, and you had like a billion opportunities to kill me or have me killed without reneging on your deal, but you didn’t? Like, even when you still kinda hated me, which was nice of you, and you are really easy to talk to and a really good cuddler and I’m sort of rambling here. But like, can I um… can I kiss you? I mean, if you want, I don’t want to pres- mph!” Karkat kissed him, careful of his teeth, and Dave melted into him, relief coursing through his veins. Putting his arms around the other’s neck, he pulled himself up slightly to get a better angle, deepening the kiss, until they pulled away, breathless. Rose whistled at them, and they returned to the present moment, and suddenly they were three feet away from each other and blushing madly. The door opened. “Oh, Hello Karkat. What Brings You Here?” Kanaya asked curiously.

      “Rose, I Thought You Told Your Family?”  They were sitting around a table in the dining room/kitchen area, trying to make sense of the past month and a half. “Apparently, the letter went missing, most likely eaten by Jaspers, truth be told.” Karkat grumbled, putting his head in his free hand, the other trapped in Dave’s under the table. “I still cant believe it was all for this. I can’t fucking believe it.” “There there babe. At least we know now.” Dave patted his hand sympathetically, tired from the long journey himself. Karkat raised his head. “You all do realize that Dave has to go back, and they won’t believe you actually like staying with Kanaya if you aren’t there to tell it, right Rose? And based on what I’ve heard of Roxy, never mind Dirk, it’s going to be pretty hard to convince her to let her seer go be a hermit in the woods.” Dave looked over at him. “Um, well… about that… umm, I was thinking that, uh, maybe, it wouldn’t just be Rose? ‘Cause, um, I’d kinda. Like to just stay with you? And, like, its totally fine if you never want to see me again, and just want o be left alone after all this, but I, uh, kinda just wanna like, live in your hive with you?? I mean, if that’s alight, if it’s not I’ll just go and fuck off on my merry way, but you know, I think it’d be kindanicemaybeidontknowwhatever.” Karkat stared at him, an expression of relief painted on his face. “Oh thank god I’m so glad you’re the one who suggested it I was too nervous.” Shaking his head quickly, he turned back to Rose and Kanaya, who wore matching smirks. “Ok, so, as I was saying, it’s going to be pretty hard to convince Roxy to let her seer sister and her knight brother go live with dragons in the woods, so you’re probably going to have to go and see her yourselves. Kanaya, you should probably go with her so you can convince them as well. You all should prepare to go to court.” Dave blinked. “Dude, you think you’re not coming? I need my boyfriendsprite there for moral support. Talking to dirk is going to be hell.” Karkat rolled his eyes and kissed Dave’s hand. “Ok, so we need to pack for four people. Without the detours it should only take a week and a half. Kanaya, I assume you have some sort of proper clothing for us all?” “Maybe I Do, Maybe I Don’t.” “Fantastic. We should start preparing now.”

      They stayed there for a week, gathering food and fitting clothes, making dinner and going into town, cleaning armor and washing scales. Fg’dshj’fg, Rose’s pet horrorterror, tentacled his way around; bringing bolts of cloth and packs for supplies. He was also an excellent mouser. Karkat and Dave explored the town, going to bakeries and buying pastries, casting coins into the fountains and purveying herbs. Dave bought a new katana for Dirk, “to throw him off the scent,” and Karkat got Kanaya some thin leather thread. Finally, they were prepared.  The journey back took just over a week, as they found good roads with help from the villagers, stopping at taverns and way-houses. Finally, they reached the citadel of Derse.

      They made great use of their cloaks, walking through the city unnoticed, and using the twin’s positions to gain entry to the palace. As they walked through the doors, Roxy came running, her robes flying out behind her. “Davey! Rosy! You’re back! I missed you so much! Are you all right? You were gone for so long! What happened?” “Roxy, we need to talk with you and Dirk. In private.” “Oh my gosh, yeah! Dirky’ll be so glad to see you! Come on come on he’s in his workshop!” she set off running, servants ducking out of the way of their monarch. They followed, their pace more of those filled with dread.

      Roxy knocked on dirk’s door. “Dirk! Rose and Dave are back!” the door swung open and Dirk’s eyes widened behind his shades. “Holy fuck Dave.” He said, wrapping the twins in a hug. “What took you so long? And who the fuck are they?” he said, looking over at the two hooded dragons. Dave grimaced. “It’s a long story.”

      They sat around a mostly empty work table. “Ok, so can we have an explanation, or are we just going to sit here?” Dave rolled his eyes at Dirk. “\Ok, so I went to-“ Karkat laid a clawed hand on Dave’s arm. “Let me do the explanation, or we’ll be here all day.” Dave nodded. “Yeah, you’re right. Shoot, Karkat.” He took a deep breath, and nodded to Kanaya that they should take off their hoods. Drawing them back gingerly, they gripped their partner’s hands. “Dave,” dirk said, dangerously calm. “Why did you bring two dragons into the castle?” Karkat rolled his eyes. “Wow, fuck you too dude. Anyway, the rundown of it is that he came to my hive, attacked me, and I agreed to help him find his sister, only for it to turn out that she had run away with her girlfriendsprite, Kanaya, and apparently her note got lost. And no, neither of us has ever attacked anyone. Kanaya is the protector of her mountain village, so no problems there, and I’m a hermit. Your human siblings also want to live with us in our hives and, I quote, be ‘cryptids in the woods’ with us. That’s about it.” Rose nodded. “Yes, that all is true. And I can definitely say that Kanaya did not kidnap me, and I did leave a note.” Dave raised his hand. “Also, I hate being a knight and I sorta just want to be a sword making cryptid with my boyfriendsprite. Also, I’m dating Karkat.” Dirk boggled at them. He was opening his mouth to speak, but Roxy steamrolled over him. “That’s fucking adorable! Rosy, you should have told us! Omg, Davey, you should’ve told us you didn’t want to be a knight! What with your brother and everything, you know, of course we would’ve supported you!” Dirk was silent. “Of course I’ll support you, just… visit us, alright? We’re your family.” He turned to their datemates. “And as for you, if you ever hurt them, I’ll hunt you down myself and use you hides as armor,” he said, eyes narrowed. Kanaya started chattering away, using a placating tone. Karkat just stared. Suddenly, he burst out laughing. “Dave, you didn’t tell me you were the normal one in the family!” Dave just smirked. “Babe, there’s no way you would have believed me.” Karkat wiped his eyes. “True. I still can’t believe it myself.” He pushed back his chair. “Well, it was great meeting you, Roxy. Dirk, you lived up to your reputation. Wanna go to our hive Dave?” he said, turning to Dave. He smiled. “Yeah, let’s.” they strode across the courtyard, servants turning in shock at the uncloaked dragons striding along with their arms around the royal twins’ waists and chattering idly. Dave and Karkat shared a kiss, before Karkat scooped him up bridal style, flying to his hive while Dave screamed in delight and terror. Rose and Kanaya flew off in a much more dignified manner, skirts streaming out behind them. “Oh fuck,” Dave said suddenly. “I forgot to give Dirk his katana.” “Mother fucker.” Karkat grumbled. “You’re such an idiot sometimes.” “But I’m your idiot.” Dave smiled innocently. Karkat smiled softly. “You do realize I’m not going back, right?” “Oh like fuck you are. I need to sleep.”

[scotttenormanaskblog]

Scott/Link send a ship

Scott is a night owl obviously as he drinks a shit ton of coffee and hates sleeping due to the many nightmares he endures it ‘s just not worth it.I dunno who the morning person is but it’s def not Scott so probably Link, Scott’s a grump in the morning because he doesn’t fucking sleep.They def cuddle as Scott enjoys the comfort cuddling brings it makes him feel safe and I’m sure Link doesn’t mind it either. Big spoon probably Scott and that’s not just because he’s taller either but he enjoys being snuggled and having his hair stroked if he trusts someone enough to do it. Anyone else is gonna get bitten/stabbed.Small spoon goes to LinkScott steals the blankets but only during winterWhat they wear to bed? Nothing/ boxersThey both like seeing eachother wear the others t-shirt though Link wont wear Scotts for long as the ginger doesn’t clean his clothe like he shouldScott falls asleep during mid conversation because of caffeine withdrawl/lack of sleepScott is def the one to wake up in the middle of the night with nightmares hence why he doesn’t really sleep./ sometimes Link drinks about aliens Scott punched Link in the sleep he thought he was punching EricLink can’t keep his hands to himself as he likes to grab the gingers ass sometimes depending on his mood Scott will slap him or just go with itLink said I love you first Scott isn’t quite there yet but he considers him a BRO Link has a picture of Scott on his phone background/ Scott has a picture of his mom on his ownLink leaves perverted/funny jokes on the bathroom mirror hoping to cheer up his angry friendLink gives cheesy giftsLink kissed Scott firstNobody kisses the other awake in the morning Links asleep and Scott is busy plotting vengeanceWho starts tickle fights?  Link and this pisses the shit out of Scott / his tickle spot in his sidesLink drags Scott into the shower saying he’ll clean him himself, Scott doesn’t really object it’s not like he’s gonna do it anyway he showers like twice a monthWho gives eachother lunch? Do these boys even have jobs?They just chill and have a pizza, Scott uses his dads money to buy itWho was the shy one on a date?  Maybe both of em , probably Scott more he’s like that on most of his dates, you think he’s confident? Well he’s not if he wants to impress someone Scott kills the spiders and he enjoys doing usually calling them all Eric before he smashes themScott is the one to declare drunk love but sadly it’ usually about Rhett/Helen

[lilithreposeinshadow-blog]

I have a dark side

Fuck. 

Seriously, fuck.

Getting my words out, getting them out there, being heard. It’s this itch that has to be scratched. My journal wont do it. My facebook is the wrong format. I’m not here to bring anyone down, but fuck I am not happy all the time and I don’t know where to put all of those other feelings.

I live in the mountains. Well, in the valley of granite cliffs. They surround me and thieve the horizon. Every close friend/confidant I have lives in another state.. the ones I make out here keep leaving, either this place or my life. 

Even when close ones are near and available, my thoughts and feelings spin and swirl so much that I feel like it is too much for them to take on. And that’s at no fault of their own, it’s not a fault of mine either. It’s the role of the therapist that I need. And I had, back in Philly. 

Therapy was expensive, but I loved my therapist, I miss him.  He was fucking handsome, which hurt. I had never felt more heard and understood by a man, a handsome, young, amazing man, who I absolutely could not have. When I was depressed, that was pretty hard. I probably should have found a different therapist. He was so damn good though. 

I feel a lot. I feel a lot of conflicting feelings. I feel one way one day, and the next quite the opposite. I feel at peace, then incredibly impatient. My spirit wants to rip out of me, longing for whatever it is I’m longing for... and either the pressure is too much and I turn to it, or something else, for relief... or somehow it softens. 

My feelings come and go in phases. For weeks I’ll be stuck in a thought, stuck in anger, stuck in desire, stuck in frustration, suck in anxiety. Then, life will happen, things open up, and my heart shifts. 

Right now.... right now I’m mad. I’m angry. I’m angry at men. 

I’m angry at men and then I’m angry at myself.  Dating is a trip, and I don’t think I handle it well.

I had a boyfriend in high school for over two years. He was my rock. We were Christian and were going to be abstinent, but then I suggested we try sex. 

We had been fooling around for a good while, and enjoyed each other. Growing up in the South, my sexual education was shaming and frightening. It wasn’t until I had a friend who had sex, and enjoyed it, and wasn’t upset or depressed or mad or sad - that I was like, hey, J, let’s do this! 

And we did. And it was okay. Short. Sweet. Short. Scary. We only did it a few times, and we both felt so afraid of being caught, or pregnant, or judged, that we stopped. I suggested we stop. J was really good to me. 

Then I left him. And I don’t think I’ve been honored or resepected the same way since. 

Yeah, we were in high school, and no I don’t think he and I would have been the right match long term... but who knows? He wont befriend me, I’ve tried. 

What I’m getting at here is sex.

Since then I’ve had a good handful of partners. Casual partners, romantic partners, passionate partners, regrettable partners. It’s been a mess, honestly.

I didn’t have sex from the time I was 17 until I was 19, close to 20. I was afraid of it, I was in a new city and didn’t have people, and I just didn’t need it.  But then I had my next bf, and he taught me how sexually attractive I am. See, I’m a skinny girl, and the media makes young girls think it’s good to be skinny, but damn if your tits are THAT small, yeah... you might wanna fix that at some point. I thought I needed curves and cleavage and definitely not be so bony. 

Turns out, what I’ve got going on, plenty of people like. And that’s likely true for every body type. And I’m grateful to the second boyfriend, who showed me the real ropes with sex, and who improved my confidence tremendously.  That relationship wasn’t... the best? It wasn’t awful but there was definitely some belittling and shaming and guilting and crap that eventually I got myself out of. 

The community I found were partiers. They were fun/are. They are wonderful people who I have so much love for. But what’s valued there is sex, drugs, music, dancing, self expression, and fun. Yes they help each other out, but not always. And fuck, if you bring up sad or too real shit at a party, gtfo.  And a lot of times, it was hard to see any of them if I weren’t at a party... So... When can I lean on you, friend? When is it my turn to cry in your arms? Why is it I will drop anything to hold you in this room while everyone is partying, but when I bring up real shit in my life, people just turn away, tell me not to worry about, tell me it’s not the right time.

When is the right time to be heard? 

When?

So I’m angry. Yeah, I’m angry at men. 

When I was with that second boyfriend, and he was showing me the ropes sexually, I remember thinking, “I’m gunna get really good at this.” And I did. I’m a great lay. I’m sexy. I’m freaking hot in bed. I’m a tease, I know all the good spots and good ways. I’m hot. And men really like it. Like, a lot.

My sexuality is my honey. I draw men in with my smile and my flirting, then, when the time is right, I show off my talents and I dazzle. And then they’re hooked. They want more, and I get what I was hoping for. Some attention, some affection, some intamacy.

But, fuck. Fuck fuck fuck, it doesn’t last. It just DOESN’T. 

I give myself, my whole entire self. I look in your eyes and I flatter you with kisses and compliments, favors and gifts. I flutter around, catching your eye... and then you wonder. Your gaze drifts, your attention shifts. 

I can feel it, okay? I really do feel it as soon as that shift happens. It’s like an iceberg that breaks and slides a part, and hundreds of miles away, the wave of it passes over my feet, and I just know. It’s not a normal wave like the ones before and after, that was a shift. That was a change.

And then there I go. I can’t help myself. I bring it to attention, I say, hey, what was that? Where did you go? Where is your heart now?  And it’s too much.  I’m too much. I want too much. I expect too much.

These men, these climbers. These men. Like I said before, I am mad at them, but then I’m mad at me.  I’m mad at myself because I know it will be. I see it coming for miles, I can see through them. I know the men I find most attractive are unavailable. They’re explorers, adventurers, travelers. They’re climbers and fire fighters and rangers. They’re seasonal, they’re just coming through, they don’t live near by.  I know it’s all fucking doomed, but my dreamer heart catches me. 

They’re so damn handsome is the problem. Or something.

I look at them, all those different men I’ve let myself get attached to know have no intention of being a real partner to me, and I see their tenderness and they show me a piece of their heart. 

See, that’s what the honey does. It’s so sweet and lovely that it opens you up. I get a peek of what’s underneath and I think that’s also the problem, they aren’t ready. 

I am intimate. I am deep, I am raw. Sexually, that is exciting. But what happens during sex doesn’t stay in the bedroom. Intimacy is made, yet there’s no foundation there. There’s nothing to hold it. It’s like this beautiful orchid, suspended, it’s roots reaching down and out, with nothing to sink into. It’s going to fall, and it will absolutely be damaged after it does.

I get mad at myself because I see this cycle so clearly, yet I’ve failed many times at avoiding it. 

My hair stylist in Philly is a semi-mentor to me in my mind, and she once told me “just don’t have sex with them, it confuses things and it always makes it harder to see things as they are”. That was over three years ago and I wish I had started listening to her right away.  I’ve had a lot of fun with men in bed since then, but I’ve been hurt. A lot.

Why am I angry with men? 

Because they don’t want me!

They don’t want the real me. They fucking don’t. 

I’m damaged, dude. Like for fucking real. I’ve been through some fucked up shit and just because I’m on the other side of it, just because my childhood is over, does not mean I’m not still completely baffled and destroyed by some of those events. I don’t even understand how what things affect me in which ways, but I see it, I see my trauma creep into my thinking and behavior and I don’t always have the wisdom and strength to rise above it. 

I have a dark side. 

I am so angry at quite a couple of people right now. People who have left me, who I feel abandoned by. Shut out, left behind, completely discarded. And see, this is where this all comes together. I was neglected, like legit, when I was a baby and young child. Physically, mentally, and emotionally neglected. I am only alive today because of my siblings.

Straight up I would have starved or died of disease or accident had they not been there. Thank God they were.

So. Abandonment issues. Check. Yep. Got ‘em. 

So when you fuck me until you come, and then don’t even bother texting me the next day, no THAT DOESN’T SIT WELL WITH ME. 

No, I am not that chill.

Fuck you for not calling, for not wanting to hear my voice, my stories, my jokes.

Fuck you for fucking me after Christmas, then breaking up with me two days later. Fuck you for buying me a child sized fucking climbing helmet. Fuck you for giving me a framed photo of us. WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT

Fuck you for being so fucking appreciative of tiny wonderful things about me, then so casually exiting my life. Fuck you for just dropping me like that, so easily. Who the fuck are you? How... how how how do you do that?

Fuck. You. 

But... fuck me, right? Because I knew. I knew they would do this. I have no fucking faith in the decency of men.

Besides me therapist.

But he’s off fucking limits. smh. (thanks for that, God. What a tease.)

So what do I do? 

How do I exit this cycle and start receiving the kind of love and support I offer up so easily to men who enter me and my life... 

Is it really as simple as closing my legs? 

I’ve thought about and tried to “take it slow” and “wait” with a guy... but that’s never lasted longer than like three or four dates MAX. 

I have desire. I am sexual. I like pleasing, but I’m starting to realize I like pleasing so much partially because as it’s happening, I feel like I’m gaining some kind of ground with the partner. Like, “Oh yay, he likes how I suck his dick, this must mean he’ll like me more in general”... sad. But so fucking true. And does anyone talk about this? 

Do the women amongst me who are also living in this hook-up culture see things this way at all? Do they struggle with this perdiciment? 

I want to be deisred, but I also want to be valued. I want to be fallen for, not just fucked and left. But the latter is what happens. It really is. Maybe the former is a myth. That’s what I keep thinking, it must be bullshit.

But then I see it, I see people who genuinely care for each other. What I notice, what catches my eye, is when I see men. Men doing those things for their partner that I’d do any day for mine. Grabbing a milkshake for them to bring back to the girl, where she’s chilling. Or taking time away from adventures to spend quality time with their partner because they WANT TO. Or families who are actually staying together. My sister in law, who always goes to my brother’s appointments with him, and the other way around.  I can’t fathom that kind of love, that kind of support. 

My dad travels for work and my step mom never did a thing for us without making it known she’d prefer not to be. Every appointment, meeting, car ride, meal, phone call.. it was a chore she hated. I didn’t join teams or clubs because I didn’t want to have to ask her to give me a ride. Not being dramatic, it was just that way. 

So here I am in the dating world, longing to be cared for and treated with sweetness, but not knowing at all what’s reasonable or fair. Not having any reference point as to what I should expect or deserve. 

There are moments, when I’m held close by a lover, or given just the right compliment, when I feel secure. I feel supported. I feel wanted. And then...

poof.

Gone. In the blink of an eye it’s over and it’s gone and I’m wondering how I ever let myself feel safe. I was lying to myself, I know that. I was lying about how I knew they felt about me. I knew they didn’t know me. I knew I’d scare them off. And I did. I do. 

So damn, is that it? Do I just need to stop having sex with these men?  Is it better to be alone, sexless, and alone, than to be used and tossed out? 

That sounds like a dumb question when you put it that way, it really does. 

Yeah I’d rather be alone than feel just as gross as the used condom you just pulled off your dick does. 

So fuck it, I’m done fucking. 

I doubt I’ll get any closer to finding a partner, bc again my faith in men is so fucking slim, but hey... maybe I’ll feel less used.