#this is why i hate tower defense games

[tomatoteddy]

I have been playing Chpt 3 of Flavour Frenzy for almost thirty minutes and if I have to die yet again I might commit a robbery

[cottonlemonade]

Hello again it's me. I may I please have a menu B with strawberry milk and purin and I'll sit next to Ren Oomimi please

The Wrath Of Oomimi Ren

word count: 818 || avg. reading time: 3 mins.

pairing: Oomimi x chubby!Reader (feat. Atsumu)

genre: fluff

warnings: none

request: fluffy jealous upperclassman Oomimi, as manager

It was never a good sign to see the twins huddled together with Suna in an obviously plotting manner. Whispers and giggles, a short screech of approval here or there - it was all rather disconcerting.

Oomimi frowned and went back to his conversation with the other two third years. However, he didn’t let the chaotic trio out of his sight. Kita wasn‘t here yet, being stuck in a meeting of the class presidents, so it fell upon him, Michinari and Aran to keep the younger members of the team in check until the training began (certainly a three person job). The gym door opened and their trainer along with their manager came in, the cute kohai holding a water carrier in each hand. Almost automatically he made a move to hurry over and take them off your hands but one side glance towards the menaces from year two stopped him in his tracks. He had already been too obvious about his crush on their curvy manager, having gushed about you one too many times to his classmates in the locker room. Even though, “gushed“ might have been the wrong word. He talked about you. Too often.

Thinking out loud if the team should invite you along for an after training snack run to the nearby convenience store or wondering if you‘d maybe be interested in joining them for a (not really) friendly game of Mario Kart that weekend. Or invite you to a movie with them. Or suggesting to have you join their study group. Or sit with them at lunch. Or if they should bring you a bun when they went by a bakery on their way to school.

Everyone knew about his crush, even the trainer. Except, of course, you.

To you, Oomimi was a thoughtful, albeit quiet player who was an important component to Inarizaki‘s defense along with Suna. To you, he was simply being polite and tried to include you as often as possible. And, to be honest, he was the reason why you joined the team as the manager.

Whenever you called for the team’s attention for the coach, Oomimi was the first to come running but always stopped himself a few meters before reaching you, slowing his steps and suddenly becoming very interested in retying his shoes or straightening his jersey as to not make it seem like he was too eager to get to you. He knew he had an intimidating aura and the last thing he wanted was to scare you by towering over you.

And today was no exception.

Once Kita arrived the team gathered in a half circle around you and the trainer - Oomimi stole glances at you throughout the coach’s game plan. When it was time for the warm up drills, he paused in his movements when he saw that instead of dispersing like the rest of the team, the chaotic trio stayed behind to talk to you while Coach Kurosu went outside to take a phone call.

“How about it, y/n-chan?”, he heard Atsumu say loudly, “This friday night. We can go to the arcade or see a movie.“ The setter shuddered, feeling a sudden icy chill on the back of his neck but soldiered on, “Why aren’t ya sayin’ anythin’? Don’t wanna go on a date with me?”

He was sure when he turned around he would come face to face with Kita but instead he stared at the chest of the middle blocker, slowly raising terrified eyes to look at him.

“H-hey, Oomimi-san.”, he stuttered, “I was just askin’ our manager to go out with me.”

“I know, the whole gym could hear ya.”, Oomimi replied calmly.

“O-okay then. Uhm… would ya give us a bit of space so she can answer me?”

Oomimi looked at you - your face telling a detailed story of confusion and reluctance.

“No.”, he said, glaring down at Atsumu.

“And why is that?”, Atsumu asked, hoping his knees wouldn’t give out. He hated Osamu and Suna for this. Sure, the sacrifice for their cause was chosen via rock, paper, scissors but now that The Wrath of Oomimi Ren was upon him, he really badly wanted to reconsider, even if that would give his friends the right to his lunch desserts for the next month.

“Well…” Oomimi hadn’t thought that far. “Because…-“

“Because I’d actually much rather go out with Oomimi-san.”, you said, cheeks as red as tomatoes, “Sorry, Tsumu. You’re … okay and all but I’m not interested.”

Osamu and Suna doubled over with laughter - the latter still holding up his phone to capture the moment for all eternity.

Atsumu would have been extremely offended if he wasn’t so relieved that the giant third year was too distracted by your confession to hurt him and grabbing his brother and friend by the sleeves dragged them off to leave you and Oomimi to blush at each other in private.

a/n: thank you so much for your request! I hope you enjoyed it ^^ 🌟

[cerastes]

I genuinely don't get how people are seriously trying to convince others to play blue archive when the game is just production through the roof but story and gameplay are just schoolgirls and guns. One of my friends got convinced to play that over arknights and idk how he fell for it.

I get wanting to make a point like this but... You more or less answered your own question.

"The game is just production through the roof" that's more than enough of a selling point. "story and gameplay are just schoolgirls and guns" schoolgirls and guns are famously good at being selling points.

"One of my friends got convinced to play that over arknights and idk how he fell for it" he wanted schoolgirls and guns with good production values and light, casual gameplay as a wrapper instead of tower defense.

Look, I get what you are saying. I'm a huge Arknights fan. Blue Archive doesn't even make a blip in my Give-A-Fuck Radar. I still think it's not hard to see why BA could get players. I really advise against this covert kind of grandstanding, because anon, forgive me, but that's what this is, and if it's not, then that's what it is coming across as. The moment you start going Our Noble Piece of Art vs Their Barbarous Cum Game, you start becoming someone that doesn't get invited to the cook-out. Especially expressing this anonymously through someone else's public podium, not even appending your name to it. It's a bad look.

Can a conversation be had about the caliber of a person or the morality of someone because they like the sexualized schoolgirl game? Yeah absolutely that's a conversation that can be had. But then you have to be fully transparent if you want to be taken seriously, and not anonymous. Whenever this comes up, I remind people to look at Shamare's base art in Arknights, or Suzuran's existence and more than just slightly disgusting "Suzuran is our light" stuff. Like, yeah, different levels altogether, but you still need to stay grounded about these things. At least that's how I think about it. You have to be the biggest critic of the things you love, and understand that you can criticize things you love without stopping to love them. Likewise, you can hate things (by god, please hate things, you'll feel so much better), but you have to reign that in with some logical, good faith thinking and never go full on Knights Templar because then you don't get invited to the cook-out.

And also don't do this anonymously in my inbox, I am not your mouthpiece nor am I happy to be a pond upon where people try to fish approval from.

[zephyrins]

time has passed but I'm still so pissed off about the final battle...

at this point, I have no objections against Miquella being manipulative and using his charms as his main weapon. We had enough hints of his true nature in the game. We fooled ourselves into thinking that Miquella was absolutely good, so misjudging him is our own fault.

But Radahn? gods I hate it. Just... just why??? I'm not complaining about how difficult he is or something. But why him? Why couldn't we fight Miquella alone? I know, I know — he's bodiless, but I have so many ideas!

Why not destroy the gates to defeat him? Why not make him bound to the gates, or his ascension to godhood unfinished? We would still need to dodge his attacks and break through his charms but at the same time smash the gates, like playing reverse tower defense. Isn't it in our interest not only to defeat Miquella but also to prevent anyone else from reaching godhood?

Maybe we could have some special weapon to do that, like Serpent-Hunter against Rykard

[yanderes-galore]

Hello Phanter, I hope you're doing well! 🙌

Would you mind writing a few headcanons for a Platonic!Yandere Marcoh and Pav with a rather weak Reader?

May you have a great holiday season!!<3

Sure! I made the separate as idk if you meant sharing or not. They're probably incompatible anyways now that I think about it.

Yandere! Platonic! Marcoh + Pavel with Weak! Darling

Pairing: Platonic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Violence, Overprotective behavior, Murder, Blood mention, Isolation, Fear of death, Forced companionship.

Marcoh

Well, Marcoh stuck around Olivia because she was in a wheelchair.

If you were weak in battle then he'd certainly feel an urge to protect you.

Despite his reserved nature I feel Marcoh would be willing to protect you.

He's protected Olivia and Tanaka during the festival, he'd do the same with you.

Although, as this is yandere, he no doubt protects you more intensely.

You naturally end up gravitating towards Marcoh as he seems like the strongest fighter on the train.

Marcoh feels obligated to protect you because you admit you're a terrible fighter.

People like you wouldn't last long in a game of survival… so you need some help!

Marcoh sees you as either a sibling or friend.

He starts off really reserved but when you recruit him he quickly ends up becoming your bodyguard.

Marcoh towers over you due to his stature and it's like he has an intimidating aura.

Even though he hates his violent past and doesn't want to fight unless he has to….

Marcoh knows in a place like this you have to fight to survive.

Whenever you encounter corrupted townsfolk or creatures, Marcoh is quick to intervene.

Marcoh is strong, you can notice it in his hits.

Although it seems like he's trying harder for you as you can't hit as hard, even with your weapon (unless you have a firearm).

Marcoh mostly acts as a bodyguard, although there's times he breaks his stoic and reclusive behavior to care for you.

Marcoh is socially awkward so speaking is sometimes a struggle, yet he tries to get over it when speaking to you.

Marcoh is kind and friendly towards you.

He often asks how you're taking things and comforts you when you're scared.

If you're injured he tries his best to heal you, although he may also try to find help (Like from Daan).

With a weak darling he'd be extremely protective.

He rarely leaves you alone and is determined to have you both survive the horrors of this city.

Marcoh may also try to teach you basic self-defense due to the danger.

He'll try to be gentle as you're weaker than him.

In fact, Marcoh treats you like you may break any moment.

That's why he keeps staining his hands with more red for you.

As he grows attached and this twisted game continues, Marcoh finds himself wanting to treat you like a doll who may break.

Why should you go out there at all?

Maybe you should just stay back on the train… with him…

That way you two can be safe… after all… what's the worst that can happen?

“You'll be the safest here with me watching you… please don't fight me on this.”

Pavel Yudin

Pavel is a man with a trigger finger

His reason for coming to Prehevil is due to his urge for revenge.

He wants The Kaiser dead for what happened to his home.

As a result, Pavel is often violent and willing to get rid of anyone in his way.

If he had felt something towards you, a weak soul sent to slaughter, he'd be ruthless.

Pavel isn't known for being caring.

He's sly and mischievous.

However, maybe he has a change of heart when you treat his wounds after encountering The Kaiser.

At first he brushes you off.

You're so weak yet you still risked your life to drag him back here to the train and treat him?

How idiotic…

….

On second thought… Maybe he can have you tag along.

You won't last long out here on your own.

You'll need a companion on your journey.

While Marcoh has some hesitance to kill, Pavel straight up doesn't.

If something threatens you he straight up shoots them in the face.

Contestant, monster, Kaiser… doesn't matter to him.

You've managed to worm your way into his mind and heart, so he'll protect you.

He sees you as some sort of comrade, one who gave him kindness.

Such a thing is a weakness… but to him, he sees it as a useful weakness.

He isn't very empathetic so he's more just like a cold bodyguard.

He doesn't mind the blood staining his clothes as he gets rid of foes.

Even covered in the stuff he still checks on you.

Pavel often comes to you for treatment, yet he'll treat you too.

He prefers just having to look after you.

He shows distaste in some of the other contestants around you.

You wonder just how long it'll take before he just decides to kill the others.

When it comes to you… he might actually do it.

Especially in a festival such as this.

You can just see it in his eyes…

You aren't sure if you're ready for when that time comes, either.

“Anyone touches you and they're dead, stay behind me. Don't cause me any problems.”

[skyloftsword]

Understanding Tears of the Kingdom

I'm seeing a lot of hate being thrown at Tears of the Kingdom again that really just gets disproven by the game itself. Yes I know this is like my 400000th post defending the game but its fun. I have in game evidence so spoiler warning!

TotK is a SEQUEL! It is NOT an alternate timeline nor is it an alternate universe! People who say this stuff clearly did not pay attention to literally anything considering...

As you can see, there is a lot of evidence that this game is connected to Breath of the Wild as a SEQUEL. Here's the biggest connection.

Breath of the Wild is summarized in its entirety! Symin even acknowledges the fact that Link already knows all of this because of his experience with the Calamity.

Now onto why Zelda was transported back in time. As we know, Zelda is a descendant of Rauru and Sonia (yes they have at least one child, they just aren't mentioned or brought up at all from what I have seen so far in my time with the game, nothing disproves them having a child however) so Sonia is where she got her time powers from. Now why did Zelda get sent back to that era specifically? Well its because that era was still in her mind. Link and her were just done looking at the murals from the past, not to mention the Demon King himself from that era was right there. So of course, all Zelda was thinking about was the ancient past of THIS Hyrule.

Moving on, the Sheikah tech excuse Aonuma/Fujibayashi stated in an interview is actually brought up within Breath of the Wild itself.

This of course specifically referencing the Shrines/Towers, now what would excuse the Divine Beasts? Easy. They were breaking down at the end of Breath of the Wild, meaning they were getting ready to disappear alongside the rest of the Sheikah tech now that their roles were fulfilled as well as them being broken.

I have gone over the ending in SEVERAL posts so I'm going to keep this section brief. According to the Molduga geoglyph Tear, others can amplify a person's power by putting their hands out. Because of this, Rauru and Sonia amplified Link's Recall ability and not only brought back Zelda's mental and physical state to right before transformation, but they also brought Link's arm back from pre-Ganondorf attack and got Rauru his arm back from Link. This was only possible due to the amplified Recall.

Now, the Triforce is actually in game and the Secret Stones do NOT replace it. The Triforce is the source of Zelda's light powers just like how it was in Breath of the Wild.

Its hard to see, but you can see it on her hand on the left. The Secret Stones themselves only AMPLIFY a person's powers (it also doesn't grant them sudden mastery of their powers). This is mentioned during the Mineru's Counsel Tear. So yeah, the Triforce is still very relevant and extremely important to the game.

So yeah, that's my millionth TotK defense post. Thanks for reading.

[spartanblacksmith]

The Forges of Remnant

Chapter 1: A New Dawn

Rose Penthouse, Vale. 24th day, 3rd month of Year 5028.

The winds howl throughout the valley. The grass is growing, and the frost is melting.

Spring is coming, Weiss thought.

The warm air is chasing the cold in a wistful game of tag. The birds chirp their songs and glide on the currents, seeking their mate.

Wearing nothing but the blanket around her, Weiss observed the city of Vale from the balcony of her penthouse in the central, tallest skyscraper. The elegant yet simple structures. The hustle and bustle of the people down below. She could see the park from where she was, and it was filled with a few birthday parties and barbecues.

The sight of the city, and the 3 others sitting in line, covering the valley floor, filled Weiss with a familiar happiness. She loved the past 2 months of living in this location.

This cute little valley. It's so wonderful and serene. I could see raising my children here. I could take them to that peak to observe the stars. Teach them navigation by those bright lights in the sky.

And then a regretful sadness swarmed over her as her thoughts.

But I can't.

Soon, they’d have to abandon this peaceful place. Another peaceful, beautiful place, left to its fate.

She always hated to do so. To leave a city to burn. All 4 of them, the cities sitting right there in the valley. But she had to do it. They all had to. And as she looked back to Ruby and Penny, asleep in their bed, she understood why.

If they stayed for much longer, her wives would fight. Weiss knew this.

They would defend the Remnant tribe. For they loved the people in it. They cherish me as much as I adore them.

And if they fought, they would die.

For the Horde would not be denied, nor defeated. Not now, not tomorrow, not ever.

For 5 thousand years, the Remnant Tribe have stayed ahead of the monstrous, mechanical Horde of the Grimm. Monstrous machines of war made to destroy civilization. All hope was lost when they attacked, for nothing was strong enough to stop them.

Lucky for the people of Remnant, her family's old construction equipment was still operational. And those old mechs were their salvation.

5 giant “Forge-Class” Construction Mechs. Crafted by Weiss's ancestor, Nicolas Schnee and Penny's father, Dr. Polendina, they were marvels of engineering in their time. The Forge was a gigantic white box with 4 folding legs, equipped with observation towers on top of it to see its progress, and a few defense towers, added on after their creation.

Although originally it was almost featureless, it was covered in scratches and graffiti after 5 thousand years of being around humans. But since the Forges had the ability to remove the graffiti, the people suspected they liked certain styles, and allowed them to stay.

The Forges walked in a herd, constructing whole cities for the remnants of civilization to live in. Vale, Vacuo, Atlas, Mistral, and Menagerie, named after the 5 kingdoms that were destroyed. they would walk in front of the following tribe of more than a million nomads, leading them like benevolent shepherds looking after their flock.

Gathering rocks and materials as they traveled, the Forge would construct whole buildings and streets inside them. And when it was safe enough, and at a good location, they would sit down, deposit their construct, and stand up. Boom, an entire city, ready to live in.

Even now, Weiss saw the four hulks resting on the horizon, sitting even bigger than the cities. Sleeping before they were to rise and travel again. Quietly receiving rocks and ore from the Miners guild, who looked to relieve the burden of material gathering from the Forges, even if it wasn't much, or necessary. A good hearted gesture if anything.

Yes, 4 Forges.

Atlas…

That was a story for another day.

Weiss walked inside and over to the bed. She sat down on it, next to her wife Penny. They saved Penny that day. Pulled her from her place in the control room, and fled the devastated Forge, along with the survivors.

Penny. If we were stronger, maybe…

Weiss pushes the hair from her lover's face. Penny is so peaceful when she sleeps. She is always adorable and sweet. Weiss felt her heart flutter every time she thought of her. She remembers the day she got her left eye’s scar in battle. The day Penny saved her and Ruby.

Ruby. Weiss looked at her cute dolt. Sleeping away her exhaustion from last night. Where Penny made her heart flutter, Ruby took her breath away. She was so strong, fearless, and quick witted. And her beauty grew every day. Ever since Weiss saw her in Silver Clans initiation ceremony, she knew they were destined to be together.

If only the younger me knew that she was half right, looking back to Penny.

How did I get so lucky? Two soulmates? Who both cherish me? It may be an effort to return their affections in a way they deserve, but it is always worth it.

Now, 7 years married, Weiss sits as head of the Remnant Council, with her wives supporting her all the way.

Ruby stirs a little, waking up. She rises to sit up on her arm. The covers almost slip away, as she catches them, holding them to her naked form. “Weiss, you're up early. You're never up before me. Is something wrong?”

Astute, as always.

“Yes. To be honest, I didn't sleep last night. I’ve been contemplating. Although Blake’s Shadow Clan says that the Horde is a month and a half away, I think we should pack up and go now, and not next week as we usually do.”

At Weiss's thoughts, Ruby simply waved them away. “Oh, you worry too much.” Ruby leaned over and cupped her wife's face. Weiss let herself lean into her touch. “They won't reach us ever again. I’ll make sure of it.”

Weiss grabbed Ruby's hand. “That's what I'm afraid of, Petal. They're dangerous. They're constantly after us. There's the unpredictable Salem's Hand. I fear for you… for Remnant… for… I…”

Ruby gently pulled Weiss in, and kissed her.

Ruby, this is serious. I won't be swayed by… by… what was I thinking about? No, focus. Focus… Oh, whatever. I’ve got a hot woman kissing me.

Weiss reached behind Ruby's head, petting her short black and red hair, forgetting her troubles for a moment. She leaned into her petal's kiss, passionate and sweet.

They break the kiss, and Weiss blushes a little, staring into her lovers silver eyes. “Ruby.”

“I derail your train of thought?”

“You and Penny have that effect on me.”

“I'm glad we do, Cutie Weiss.” Penny?

Ruby and Weiss look down to Penny, who is awake now, having a gander at her wives tender moment.

“How long have you been up?” Weiss asks, pecking a kiss on Penny's cheek.

“Long enough. Your worries about our situation are noted, but unnecessary. The Horde is very far behind, and maintenance on the Forges are complete. My calculations show that we are safe for another week before we must pack and head for the Coastal Plains. And even with delays, we will be passing by several old abandoned settlements. With proper decoys, they will distract the Horde for a time as we progress further.”

“Ceil came back with the Pathfinder Clan yesterday?” Ruby asks as she scoots closer to Penny.

“Yes. She came in last night and reported it. I was going to tell you two, but the surprise you had for me… I was understandably distracted.” Penny says as she takes a second to remind herself of their night together.

Oh, definitely. Our 7th anniversary is no small occasion. For someone as old as Penny, it doesn't seem like much. So Ruby and I make sure to celebrate it… passionately, every time, to remind her that she is loved. Even if she's an android, she's still learning love like the rest of us.

“Yeah, that's on us. The Coastal Plains. That's next to Vale's ancient origin, right?” Ruby asked.

Weiss takes a moment to think, then responds “Yep. It's been a long time since the Tribe have been there.”

Penny points a finger up. “743 years, actually. It was a nice looking place originally, 4,849 years ago. ‘Twas sad I had to eat the remains and turn them into some new constructs. At least Vale has kept to the original designs all these years.”

Ruby wrapped her arms around Penny. “Aw, come here, sweetie. Even when you were a Forge, you were always gentle, weren't you?” Ruby nuzzled her head into Penny's chest.

Penny touched Ruby's arm gently. “I tried to be. The other Forges are so stoic. But they don't assure the people. They left that to the Schnee family. I always tried to be different. To be inspirational.”

True, but the Schnees couldn't hold a candle to your kindness.

Weiss crawled in next to Penny. “I remember. When I was younger, you would build whole parks for the young. Community centers and Opera Houses for the people. Unnecessary, but everyone loved you for that. You inspired the other 4 Forges to do more. That there was more to cities than just “Residential and Public Service” buildings.”

Penny blushes as Weiss holds her hand, saying her compliments. “To be fair, Mistral did the artsy thing first. Their buildings have always been nice looking.”

Ruby curled her finger in Penny's curly orange/red hair. “I loved when my mom brought me and Yang to Atlas to show us the graffiti you put on your own buildings. They were always so funny looking.”

Penny looked at both Ruby and Weiss with a bright smile on her face. “Thank you. I love you two for being so kind to me.”

If only there were words to express how much those words meant for us to you.

Weiss nuzzled her head into Penny's chest, bumping her nose against Ruby's.

Ruby smiled at her lovers and laughed. “We should probably get out of bed and start the day, or else we're gonna be late again.”

Both Weiss and Penny groaned in agony, being reminded of their duties.

Weiss had meetings all day regarding her Head Chieftain duties. She sometimes wished she didn't hold her 3 seats on the 15 seat Council.

Well, 2 and my sister's seat, Winter, commander of the warrior clans. She doesn't like politics, so she lets me use it. And I, very quickly, understood why in my career. People, especially stubborn, stupid people can be insufferable.

Penny, although she knew the Forges were in top shape, had all day, nay, all week to spend with the Engineer Clan with Yang's Ember Unit. She smashed it up, killing a Rogue Ursa with her Fire Clan 4 days ago.

Ruby had duties of her own. Her Silver Clan had patrols to do. They hadn't seen Beowolves for weeks, and that was a bad sign. They were gathering numbers for an attack, she often told Weiss. She was certain of it. They had to go hunting.

All three were reluctant to separate though.

“Five more minutes?”

“Five more minutes.���

“Yay, five more minutes.”

The three lay there, enjoying each other's company. Penny petted Weiss's head, running her fingers through her white hair. Weiss reached over to scratch Ruby's back. Ruby hugged Penny tight.

Oh, I could just lay here forever.

Simple, lovely, and blissful contentment in the arms of her lovers. What more could a woman ask for?

—----------------

Fields outside of ancient Mistral origin city. 24th day, 3rd month of Year 5028.

No one knows who or what made the Horde of Grimm. Some say it was a reckless pair of brothers, hell bent on world domination. Some say it was the Schnee Dust Company, a secret weapon development gone horribly wrong… or right if you believe the conspiracy theorists. Some say it was a mad scientist, a woman who despised the world and simply wanted it gone.

I know many people who believed it was the Schnee conspiracy. But after meeting Weiss, getting to know my sister-in-law, it's hard to believe now. Blake thought as she lay on the hill, observing the Horde.

From mysterious origins, these machines destroyed the kingdoms of old. They looked much like a Forge. Except for the 6 legs, gigantic hexagon shape, fully armed dozens of cannons, and the upper torso of a colossal, mechanical Leviathan sitting on top with long arms and razor sharp claws that tore through everything.

No one knew who was stupid enough to build them, then give them independence. But all had to flee from them. Their only solace was that the Leviathans were slow, and the Forges and the Remnant Tribe was faster than them.

Blake and Ren lay on the side of the hill, and spied on the distance with their scopes. Luck was on their side apparently. Blake knew how much Weiss was a worrywort, but now she had good news to give the Head Chieftain. The Leviathans were tearing apart some old ruins that used to be some cities the tribe had built a millennia prior.

Ren was taking notes on the number of Ursa there were and the 2 in development within Watts. “Didn't they destroy those before?”

Blake huffed some her hair out of her face. “They're mechs of destruction. They don't exactly have another purpose. They saw some structures standing, so they decided to crush it again. Not that complicated.”

“Well, I’m glad either way. Looks like they're taking their sweet time. Now I get 2 extra days to relax at home before I gotta pack up.”

“Don't you and Nora pack light? Everyone else does.” Blake adjusted her scope to take a look at Salem. Surrounded by her bodyguard Leviathans, as usual. She noted it down.

Salem was a paranoid War Forge. While there were 40 Leviathans in the Horde, there were four additional War Forges creating smaller Mechs to serve them. Their existence was a blight on life itself.

They were so nefarious, they had names so the warriors could remember them better. Tyrian, the "Ursa" Forge. Hazel, the "Nevermore" Forge. Watts, the "Repair Creep" Forge. And Salem, the Queen War Forge and "Beowolf" Forge. Each Factory had a bodyguard unit of 4 Leviathans and a swarm of smaller Mechs.

Ren kept taking notes, including one about the new Nevermore about to launch in a week's time from Hazel. “We do. But remember, she's got her Magnhild Unit. She can carry a lot more than other people. So she volunteers us to help others pack up and load up her unit with cargo. I know I got 8 families to load up once we get home, if she hasn't volunteered more.”

“Ah, right. Yang is the same way.” Blake takes a second to contemplate that. “Actually, all of the Fire Clan is like that. They use their mechs to help a lot of people travel.”

“Yep.” Ren says as he adjusts his scopes dials. “We love them for it though, don't we?”

A long sigh escaping Blake's mouth, she says “Yeah, we do.” Then a smile widens across her face at the thought of her wife.

Yang should be waking up by now. Her blanket falling away. I wonder if she slept in the… *sigh* Get your head out of the gutter, Blake. You can't always be thinking about your wife's voluptuous, beautiful… Hmm? Blake turned to Ren, who was quite silent.

“Ren? You alright?”

“Mmm.” Ren's face remains blank.

Blake took a guess as to what Ren was thinking of. “... Look, they can handle it, Ren.”

“I know. But... I wish those things would just give us a moment. There's so many already.”

Blake could see that Ren's face remained blank, but his hands were gripping his scope a little too hard.

She understood his anguish all too well. Nora received her scars in battle against the Ursa only last year. Ren was terrified all through the months it took for Nora to recover from her injuries. When he was home, he doted on her as much as he could. And Nora was returning to the Fire Clan next week.

Ren hated the Ursa.

Dreadful mech units that were quite large, the Ursa were the size of perhaps 3 skyscrapers side by side. They weren't the size of a Leviathan, who stood far taller and wider than a Forge, with worse weapons, but they were 3 times as fast as the Forges.

This meant they were able to catch up to the Tribe. And it was the Fire Clans duty to slay the Ursa when they threatened them.

And as Yang and Nora led the Fire Clan, Blake and Ren were seeing them often run off to battle, not knowing if they would return.

That fear was especially prevalent in Blake when she saw Yang’s Ember Unit being dragged in by two other Striker Units, smashed up and unresponsive. It took Penny and her crew 3 hours to cut Yang out of her cockpit, but by the gods luck, she was fine. Yang got the killing blow on the Ursa, but Blake wished she would be more careful.

It didn't help that she would have to report there were 5 Ursa now, with 2 on the way. More danger for them to face.

“Chief.” Blake turns around to see Illia call for her. “The Shadow Clan is ready to move out. Shall we head home?”

Behind the hill were 4 squads of 7, gathering, packing and loading equipment onto their Oobleck hover bikes. They were as fast as the professor who designed them.

They had been watching the Horde for 5 days now, keeping track of its progress. Now, it was time to head home. By the time they’re back, it'll be time for the tribe to set out again.

Blake thought it over. “Well, they're pretty busy. We'll head back, but keep the 9th squad out here to watch them, and we’ll come back after the tribe starts moving. Tell the 9th they can come back after 3 days and the 12th will relieve them.”

“Understood, Chief. Shall we?” Illia gestured to the speeders.

“Yes, but Illia, it's Blake. No need for formalities.”

“I… I know.” Illia turns away to talk to Squad 9 about their orders.

Ren gave Blake the side eye. “Still Chief?”

Blake flinched at that. Yeah. Still Chief. I’ll always be Chief to Illia.

“Old habits die hard, Ren.”

“It's been 10 years since the White Fang. Surely she can kick the habit?”

“It’s not easy to lose a quirk. You still have your quirks, ya know? And they've been around since Beacon.” Blake glanced over to Ren as he jumped a little.

“What quirks?”

“You still hold your cooking spoon out so Nora can lick it.”

“Only when I’m cooking for her and me.”

“And last time Yang and I had dinner at your place? You were cooking stew and Nora licked your spoon.”

“... I hoped you didn't notice that.”

“Well, I did.”

“Is there more?”

“Yes, but they're a secret. Nora told me.”

“Come on, tell me. What quirk?”

Blake laughed and shook her head and her cat ears flickered. “Well, we better get home. Yang has something planned for me when we get there.”

“Not gonna tell me, huh?” Ren and Blake walked over to where the hover speeder bikes were. “Nora's also got something planned, herself. Said she wanted to have a picnic under the stars and shattered moon.”

Blake hopped onto her speeder. “Nice. This region has a lot of constellations, if you're lucky enough to get a cloudless sky. Maybe if you pick the right spot, maybe you could see the Moon Goddess constellation.”

Ren didn't respond as Blake expected. He simply stood there, holding the handlebars of his speeder. Blake was about to say something, then she heard what had silenced him. A blood curdling scream.

*20 Minutes ago*

This is such a bad idea.

It will be fine, kid.

What do you mean it'll be fine!? We’re surrounded by the Horde! They're right over there by Vacuo, if you hadn't noticed!

Yes. That is a problem. But I doubt they'll find us here.

But they'll-

We’re deep in an abandoned Mistral settlement. On the 40th floor of a skyscraper that will hide our presence. There has been no sign that a human passed through here for nearly 500 years. Relax. They will pass, and we can continue on our way. We will find her.

Right… we will, right?

Yes. Jin is somewhere. We just need more information.

Well… okay, if you say-

*Clattering of metal nearby*

WHAT WAS THAT!?

Uh, I didn't think about scouts.

Why. Did. You. Not. THINK ABOUT SCOUTS!?

A Beowolf rounds the corner of the hallway. The kid blasts his shotgun towards the beast, and blows half his head off. It's not a killing blow, and the Beowolf howls and lunges. The kid shoots again, blowing the other half of the Beowolf's head off, but the beast succeeds in destroying his weapon with his claws. It falls to the ground, dead.

The kid, now defenseless, hears more howling.

Oh no.

RUN!

WHERE!?

The Shadow Clan. Find the Shadow Clan. They're always watching the Horde. They can get you out of here.

But where-

*A foot stomps a building nearby. A Leviathan has joined the chase for the kid.*

Move! They’ll find you, but there must be a “you” to find! Now Run!

*Present time*

Ren hopped onto his speeder. Blake yelled to the squad “Stay here.” Then both clan leaders moved their bikes up the hill again. They looked again in their scopes for what they could have missed. Then they saw it.

A boy excited the ruins of Mistral, running from the Horde, and he was being chased by a pack of Beowolves. He apparently was a stray nomad who was staying in the old city.

Blake started up her bike and zoomed towards the boy. Ren followed close behind.

It was a race to see who reached him first, for the Beowolf was not easily outdone. Standing at only 8 feet tall, small compared to its brethren, the Beowolf was the most loathed of all the enemy. For it was not only faster than a Forge, it was faster than most humans. And quite deadly.

Blake was racing as fast as she could. She could hear Ren preparing something behind her, but she had no time to look.

The boy was gasping for air, his legs doing all they could to outrun the beasts. When he saw the bikes coming towards him, hope filled him up again, and he got his second wind, sprinting harder.

The Pursuers and the Rescuers were converging in their own game of chicken. Would Blake have time to even get the boy before she was struck down?

She decided it was best to use it. She readied her missile pods. The bike was armed with two single use missile launchers, and Blake fires hers at the closest Beowolf. The first collides with his chest and staggers it. The second blew his head clean off.

Another two were on the verge of catching the boy.

Can't be stingy at a time like this. Blake readied her weapon, her sword from her time in the Silver Clan, and leaped from her bike.

As the bike slowed, she launched herself at one of the two Beowolf, converting her sword to a kusarigama, and wrapped her weapon around the Beowolf’s neck.

Blake landed next to the beast, and pulled the ribbon. Her sickle cut right through the beast's neck and lopped his head off, sending it dead to the ground.

Blake holstered her weapon and sprinted at the kid. Another Beowolf made a move, but Ren was quicker on the draw, firing his missile and hitting it square in the jaw. It fell to the ground right next to the kid and Blake. A second Beowolf received a missile to the leg, sending it sprawling to the ground.

She braked to a stop in front of the boy and grabbed him by the scruff of his jacket, not wasting time chatting. She hopped onto her bike and gave the boy to Ren.

Not wanting to overstay their unwelcoming party, the two of them sped away with their rescued straggler, easily outrunning their pursuers.

As was the way of the nomad.

The Shadow Clan joined up with them and they all flew down the fields towards home. They zoomed over hills and plains, heading back to Remnant.

Blake got on the radio “Squad 9, you know what to do. Since they're alerted, double the observation distance.”

She received acknowledgement from the Squad 9 lead, and the 7 scouts turned from the group and headed back to circle around the Horde.

Seeing the boy settle behind Ren, Blake realized that Weiss wouldn't get her good news this time. For she could hear the Leviathans stop their assault on the ruins and resume their march towards Remnant once more.

So they were after the straggler, not the ruins.

Blake simply shrugged her shoulders.

Oh well. It was but a day or 2 had they continued their destruction of the ruins. I'm glad we could save the straggler.

“Well, that could have been worse.” Blake glanced over at the kid. “Hey, kid. What's your name? And why are you out here?”

Blake could only hear mumbling come from the boy. Then again, they were moving at high speed, so that's understandable. She could see Ren use his semblance to calm the boy, and his trembling turned into a stillness. It was a moment before anything was said.

“Oscar.” Blake glanced at Ren as he said it. “He said his name is Oscar. And that he was on a mission for Ozma.”

“Who's Ozma?” Blake asked. Ren merely shrugged his shoulders.

Illia, who overheard, added in “Wasn't there an Oscar who went missing half a year ago from Mistral’s sector?”

Ren turned his head to listen again. “That's him.”

“I would still like to know. Why are you out here, running through ruins and evading the Horde?”

Ren listened again. “He said he's looking for Jin, the Librarian A.I., so he can give her to Qrow.”

Blake groaned internally.

Oh, of course this was Wanderer business.

But she didn't expect Qrow to send a boy out into the wild. Especially without a speeder.

Who even was this Jin? And Ozma?

Whatever the reason, she was sure delivering Oscar to his parents would cure him of his recklessness, and his business with the Wanderers would be finished. Hopefully. If he was crazy enough to come out here alone, who knows what he’d do.

Blake observed the oncoming change of scenery. Markings and signs could be seen.

Hmm, this is Ravens current stomping grounds. She better not try anything.

“Alright people, keep an eye out, we're heading into Bandit Territory. And we don't want no surprises.”

—-----------

Outside the Workshop of the Engineer Clan. 4th month, 1st day of Year 5028.

One Menagerie, Two Menagerie, Three Menagerie, Four Menagerie… ah forget it. Let's see if Penny needs help with Ember Celica.

Yang was restless. Blake was due back today and she couldn't wait to give her her present. But it was only 10 in the morning. So instead of waiting around, Yang tried to be productive.

But an hour later, standing outside the Engineer Clan’s Famous Workshop, Penny had turned her offer down. Yang wanted to work on her Ember Celica Unit, both to pass the time and make up for her mistake in her last battle. Make it up to the crew having to fix her unit.

But Penny and her crew just shooed her out of the Workshop, telling her not to worry. Yang and her Clan hunt and kill monsters, as well as protect the Tribe. Penny and her Clan make sure all of their equipment is in top shape. That's how they work together. Besides, the engineers preferred their quiet privacy anyway.

Although, as Yang turned and left, wishing them good luck. And as they resumed their work, a thought passed Yang's mind. With all that metal grinding and banging, how is that quiet?

So Yang decided to simply take her old school motorcycle, with actual wheels, through the streets of Vale to travel to the Shadow Clan headquarters in Menagerie.

Passing through the market and the warehouse district, Yang could see Vale as vibrant as ever. It was little wonder Ruby and her family decided to stay here. It was most like Atlas, so Weiss and Penny loved it. And they had the Engineers Workshop, and despite Penny saying they handled the equipment, she has no problem letting Ruby do her own weapon smithing.

Honestly, the two of them spoil Ruby. Well, that's not always a bad thing. Adorable, really.

It was also the home of the Silver Clan Headquarters, the Beowolf hunters. Ruby is the current leader of the Clan. Their mother used to be the leader of the clan too, so it holds great sentimental value to the sisters. Yang was passing the building complex, where memories bubbled up again.

Mom…

Yang held back tears as she rode on. The thought of Summer always had her on the verge.

Yang then reaches the city’s edge, and the paved road turns to dirt. Driving through the patch of land in between cities, she then entered Vacuo and its roughneck setting.

She knew they only looked rough on the outside. The inside was quite well designed and structured. The Vacuo Forge was meant for building cities in the desert, so they built on functionality foremost. But that didn't mean spartan living spaces. They had amenities just like the rest of the cities.

Yang spotted the Vital Coliseum on the edge of the city, though it wasn't hard to spot. This time around, it was in Vacuo.

The Vital Coliseum is switched around cities every cycle so no one feels left out of the festivities. A place for the warriors to test their mettle. But no deaths or maiming were allowed.

Yang winced at that thought. She was still banned for breaking Mercury's leg, who was also banned for illegal moves during the match. Moves that he had Emerald cover up with her illusions, that also got her banned. And we thought Penny had died that one time against Pyrrha, who Emerald was also affecting. Good thing her Forge could make another body for her, but Pyrrha was also banned. And the Nevermore attack that Ruby had to lead a counter charge against. And the Beowolf army that same Nevermore dropped on the Coliseum that everyone had to kill.

Man, the old days were rough.

Still, they exercise a lot of caution these days. So the games go on.

She took a detour to pass by her headquarters, the Fire Clan's Coliseum. Vacuo had an interesting time when it had to house 2 Coliseums, but they made due. As for the Fire Clan, Yang saw training was underway. 3 massive mechs were in the Coliseum, 2 veterans showing a recruit the ropes.

Good, good. The newbie’s getting her training in. She may even be ready for an engagement soon. And she can't do worse than Sage and Scarlet as mentors.

The Port Strikers. A tried and true mechanical weapon platform. Designed thousands of years ago by a veteran hunter, they have served as the frontline of the defense of Remnant. Bipedal and humanoid in nature, they could clobber an Ursa if utilized effectively. Standing almost 10 stories tall, they were equipped with weapons according to their pilots preferences.

Yang preferred the weapons she had back in the days she was in Silver Clan. Her Ember Celica gauntlets. Her Ember Unit was equipped with the oversized version, and she loved it.

Each Striker was also equipped with chest mounted missile launchers, dual knives for stabbing and climbing their massive foes, a jetpack, and grenades strapped to the waist like on a belt. There was also the option to mount a shoulder artillery cannon, but that tended to slow you down, so Yang didn't have one.

She left the area and her cohorts to their training.

Yang reached the other side of Vacuo and entered the space between it and Mistral. A very different look compared to its sister cities, Mistral was a fancy looking city. Ornate carvings and stone statues of creatures whose names were, unfortunately, lost to history. She passed the central park and saw the airships fly around. Mistral houses the best pilots in Remnant, so naturally it was the home of the Sky Clan, the Nevermore hunters. She passed by their airfield, filled with fighter and transport aircraft, and was once again leaving town.

Ah, home, sweet, home.

Menagerie. The majority of the Faunus in Remnant live here. Yang moved in with Blake right after their marriage. Since her father was the appointed Chieftain of the Faunus, his family was given the large Chieftains house the Menagerie Forge makes in every city. And he gave Blake and her wife, Yang, their own space in it.

She went by the house. Big and beautiful, her home was. Unfortunately, today the sight was depressing. Protesters were out front, calling for the current Chieftain of the Faunus to step down. They only come around once and a while when they feel like it, but they are persistent.

He held a council seat, and Ghirra was a great leader. The only reason for this ongoing protest, of 7 years now, was only because he was loosely related to Jacques Schnee through a chain of marriages and siblings.

First it was his daughter Weiss, who was married to Ruby and Penny. Then it was Ruby and Yang's sisterhood. Then it was her marriage to Blake. Then we get to Blake being the daughter of Ghirra. Convoluted and unnecessary.

Old grudges die hard, she supposed. Jacques was really hated during the years he and Ironwood were the heads of the council and commander of the clans.

He pushed the Faunus and those in the Miners Guild hard to meet their ridiculous quotas. So much so, they even fed the Forges more material than the Forges gathered themselves in those years for the first time in forever. Although the homes were free and food was shared by the gatherers and farmers, in Jacques’s head, the quicker cities were built meant more money when the shops stayed open longer.

But after the Atlas disaster, Ironwood killed Jacques and tried to lay all the blame on him. But he was banished for his actions, and for the destruction of a Forge. It was later revealed he had murdered a council member and Jacques in his madness, so now if he returns, it is to his death.

Back to the present, Yang shook her head at the current protesters.

Weiss was doing really well in her father's shoes. Remnant has been doing better than it's done before. She made sure everyone was treated fairly, and did her best to heal relations between the Humans and the Faunus. To lead with wisdom and justice. But some people are purely stubborn, and don't trust her.

Maybe it was the lies the White Fang were still spreading about her.

Absurd, really. And this development meant that Yang couldn't bring Blake home, otherwise she’d see this.

So, time for plan B. She sped away to the Shadow Clans Headquarters, at the far end of Menagerie. She arrived at the hanger bay holding all the hover bikes. Many of the clan warriors waved hello to her, knowing she was their leader's wife. Yang waved back, knowing they're a polite bunch.

Yang kicked the stand on her motorcycle, and leaned against it. She started waiting for Blake to arrive by the entrance, flipping through an old book she keeps in her motorcycle's side bag for such an occasion.

After a few minutes and getting bored with the book, she glanced down the valley the cities were sitting in.

A pretty sight, she thought. Tall mountain ranges on both sides with lush green grass waving through the middle. This world always has such beautiful scenery.

Just like Patch…

Yang and Ruby were born into the Vale sector, but their father, Tai, tried to raise Ruby and Yang in a little village away from Remnant called Patch with Ruby's mom, Summer. No running, no packing, no danger.

These villages are more common than one would think. With the Horde always after the Remnant Tribe, the villages were free to settle down in these out of the way communities. They could farm, craft, and take care of themselves quite easily.

Yang shook her head. It was a peaceful couple of years, Yang thought. Peaceful, but foolish of my parents to do so.

She knew Nora and Ren were born to a village themselves, and she knew the pain they went through. Just like her family.

The machines of war are always on the hunt, even for small little nothing villages. For they had found their little village with a stray Beowolf. A swarm of Beowolves, and an Ursa had been dispatched to kill them all.

Tai was pulling the cart with some of the wounded villagers, a young Yang and baby Ruby. That was when she saw her mother take her weapon, the one she had when she was the leader of the Silver Clan, and turn around. Tai and Yang called for Summer to not fight and run away.

Now that Yang thought about it, her mother had no other option. The monsters would have caught them all.

Summer leapt into action, unfurling her ax, splitting the helmet of the Beowolf pack leader, killing it, and then killing a quarter of his pack with massive shotgun blasts. She even managed to climb the Ursa, and break its eye. This made the hulk furious. Summer ran the other direction the villagers were going, to lead the monsters away.

Mom… Yang cried for her to come back. She cried and she cried, until she cried herself to sleep hours later.

Summer was never seen again.

A funeral was held, a memorial service. Her tombstone was placed onto a cliff somewhere and left behind. Then they all journeyed to rejoin Remnant. Their father was never the same, only a little better until maybe a few years ago.

Wiping a tear from her eye, Yang started thinking about the other things that happened in the past to cheer herself up.

She used to be in the Silver Clan with Ruby, Weiss, and Blake. Went to Beacon academy for warrior training and everything. They had a lot of misadventures during that time. The thought of it made her laugh.

There was the train station incident. A bit of a disaster against those bandits working for Torchwick. But at least it wasn't lived in. Well, other than bandits preying on the nearby village.

The temple ruin incident. Facing a Nevermore on foot? Something only my baby sister Ruby could do.

The bar incident. Okay, that was me. But Junior deserved it.

The battleship crash incident. Torchwick definitely regretted hijacking that one. Well, Neo gave us hell for years after his death before she retired. It did suck though, as it was the first battleship to work in 5,000 years.

The time Raven kidnapped Weiss for ransom, and team RBY and JNPR stealing a jet to rescue her. All with the help of the leader of the Sky Clan, Maria. And her Uncle Qrow's help with his knowledge of the wild, thanks to the Wanderers he leads.

Awkward, having to rescue your future sister in law from your biological mother, who happened to be the leader of a Bandit Clan. Her family tree was too complicated to give a lot of thought.

The time we burned down a bar, and that one was Ruby's fault. Okay, Ruby and my fault. But Junior still had it coming.

How they aren't banished is beyond her understanding.

The… Beacon incident. Yang touched her metallic arm. Not long before the destruction of Altas, was the attack of Beacon Academy. Some rebels known as the White Fang laid siege on the academy with some captured Beowolves. And it was there Blake's crazy ex stabbed her and sliced Yang's arm off. He slinked away with his followers, back into hiding.

Blake left the team and stayed with her family for a while, giving up the warrior life all together. Yang was laid up in recovery. Doctors say she couldn't be part of Silver Clan again, even with her new robot prosthetic arm. Major depression. She pushed away everyone who tried to help, even Ruby and Weiss. Eventually, with her father's help, Yang managed to get off the couch and get back into shape, though it wasn't easy.

Then Blake came back, her spirit renewed. She decided to join the Shadow Clan, do scouting instead. Yang joined the Fire Clan, for she was allowed to fight in it with her robot arm.

Things were looking up.

Then the Fall of Atlas happened. After that, Weiss had to leave Silver Clan and take her spot as Head Chieftain of the Council.

Then the White Fang attacked again, this time trying to cripple the Sky Clan in Mistral. Yang and Blake intercepted Adam, and after a difficult fight, killed him.

Ruby had to step up and take charge of the Silver Clan, without them. And she has. With Sun’s help, as well as Cinder, she's gotten the Clan in top shape.

And we get to now. A peaceful sunset on the horizon, as Yang waits for her beloved to show up, so she can take her on their date.

Not bad for a delinquent like me.

An hour passes, and Yang is dozing off on her bike when she hears a familiar sound.

Almost two dozen hover bikes appear on the horizon. The Shadow Clan runs out to meet their comrades.

Slowing to a stop, the dusty warriors get off their bikes to a warm welcome from their brethren. And Yang spots her. Taking off her helmet, Blake's hair catching the light. It just takes Yang's breath away every time.

She pushes her way through the crowd and scoops her wife into a bear hug, spinning her in joy. The crowd gives her some room, and Yang gives Blake a kiss as she set her back on the ground.

After Blake is able to collect herself, she smiles at her wife. “Yang, I'm glad to see you too.”

“Not too much trouble out there, is there?”

“Unfortunately, there's always trouble out there. And, we’ve even brought some back with us.” Blake looks back to Oscar, clinging to Ren, still not used to riding at high speeds for hours. After their week-long journey, he was ready to stay on solid ground.

“Straggler?”

“Yep.” Blake gestures to a squad leader named May. “Take Oscar inside and give him a warm bunk for the night. Tomorrow, we will look for his parents.”

“Aye, Ma’am” May gives a salute and guides Oscar to the barracks.

“So, do I get an explanation about him, or is it classified?” Yang says, throwing a thumb over her shoulder. The Clan had started to disperse back to their duties, taking the bikes inside for maintenance, the riders going inside for sleep and food.

“Nah. He was a straggler looking for something named Jin, the Librarian A.I. Said he was doing it for your uncle and a guy named Ozma.”

“Qrow? He doesn't do that. He’d at least send 3 hunters for something he wants, not one kid. I’ll see if I can get him on the horn tomorrow and ask what's up.”

Blake hugs her tall wife. “Thanks.”

Yang hugs her back. “Tomorrow. Tonight, I have something special planned.”

“Your wonderful home cooking, leading to a spicy night in bed together?” Blake said with a smirk.

Knowing that was plan A, now canceled, Yang responds with “No. Something else. Follow me to our steed, my lady.”

Getting on the bike, Blake holding onto Yang's waist, they speed away, the sunset on their backs.

—----------

Vacuo Forge mineral depository. 4th month, 1st day of Year 5028

The Miners Guild was vastly unnecessary, Grut thought, Stupid, stupid, stupid, these worms are. These people are pointlessly dumping materials into a divine machine that does it for them infinitely better than they can.

Grut was but a humble shark Faunas, meant for greater things he was, in his own opinion.

Grut was pushing a wheelbarrow full of rocks and ore so he could dump it into the Forges material receptacle. Knowing it was a drop in the bucket of the ocean of materials the godly giant gathers in merely a day.

But the silly miners thought they'd be nice to the machine god and gather some materials, and really contribute to the effort. If they weren't so quick to judge us for our worship, they would see they are no different.

Idiotic. What a load of rubbish, he thought. Ugh, why did Tyrian make me the spy?

Grut’s thoughts were often of ‘why couldn't Tyrian put me in the freaking office? Service? Even a craftsman. But no. I'm lugging rocks around all day, throwing out my back. This has better be for a good cause'.

His pager went off. The motion sensor at the end of the valley had been triggered. The Shadow Clan had returned.

He had reached the receptacle, and dumped his wheelbarrow into it. He had to hurry, else he missed them. He was walking back, and set his wheelbarrow down, saying to the others he was taking a break. They waved him away, and Grut went to the nearby hill. Behind the tree atop it, he readied himself.

He sat down on it and pulled out his binoculars and lunch. He started eating his sandwich, looking through the binoculars. A boring task, but it has to be done. His shark teeth took another bite into the meal as he scratched at his rough skin.

At least the view is nice and the food is tasty. Better than the stuff they serve in the Salem's Hand cafeteria. But I wonder how long Tyrians patience will last if they don't find-

Seeing the bikes crest the horizon, he sees what he's been looking for. Oscar was with them.

Grut pulled out his scroll and called Tyrian.

After a moment, he received an answer. “Her Majesty's loyal servant speaking.”

“Boss? Yeah, it's Grut. He’s here. The boy is here.”

“Grut? You see him? You're certain?”

“Yep. Shadow Clan got him. Don't know if he has Jinn.”

“Then we must strike while the iron is hot. He must not reach Qrow if he does have her.”

“What do we do?”

“You know what must be done. Your task as a spy is complete. I have… new orders for you.”

“Yes sir.” Anything should be better than this, He thought.

[teddyreblogslotf]

hi! so i don’t think it’s completely unknown knowledge that i have a HUGE hyperfixation on wizard101 (u should totalllly go play /nf)

anyways i hate jkr so here is a wizard au that isn’t hogwarts related (these are just my opinions but i have played as every school so i promise they’re informed):

jack: fire wizard ALL THE WAY. fire wizards specialise in damage over time attacks and are the second hardest hitter in wizard101 history. they are known to be the only school that even has the chance to solo the game because of how powerful their hits are and how good their health balances them out. my main is a fire, so i’m biased but this school is EXTREMELY fitting for him.

“Fire wizards tend to be smart, passionate, competitive, and attractive. Fire wizards have attack spells that linger, damaging their foes again and again."

ralph: storm. wizard. storm wizards give up accuracy and health to deal as much damage as possible. they truly are one shot wizards, and i have had very few issues with my storm wizard. he’s great, they kill first turn as soon as possible. this is the hardest hitting school and it rivals with fire for the hitter in a group, which i think is super relevant to the jack and ralph conflict.

“Storm wizards are often impulsive, educated, creative, and independent. Storm wizards are capable of devastating attacks, but have somewhat weaker defenses.”

piggy: balance. balance on its own is really nothing special, they’re generally a helper school, blading their teammates to make other people’s hits harder. they’re a known support school that i think piggy fits because they’re not really hitters, they’re just helpers to their friends.

"Balance wizards are wise, clever, thoughtful and charming. Balance wizards are great at adjusting to the rules of combat."

roger: death wizard and not because it’s obvious. death wizards rely on attacks that simultaneously drain their foe of health and then give HP back to the wizard. death wizards also have access to a ton of blades and traps that make their spells hit hard and heal for harder. death wizards (not NPCs/mobs) are so hard to kill because they just. will not. die.

"Death wizards are often solitary, driven, brave, and intelligent. Death wizards use drains, taking strength from their enemies and healing themselves."

simon: life! life wizards are not really hitters at all. i mean they have a few good hits and they can get by if needed, but the school was designed to be a healer school. life wizards aid their allies by healing them consistently whenever needed. they’re a staple on a team to be honest because they are easily the best school. it’s hard to kill a life wizard because they just heal over and over.

"Life wizards are often social, charming, funny, and spiritual. Life wizards are great at healing themselves and others."

maurice: life (again). i think maurice was such a supportive guy, it’s hard to see him as any other school. life wizards tend to be the building blocks of a team, and i feel like that really fits him :)

"Life wizards are often social, charming, funny, and spiritual. Life wizards are great at healing themselves and others."

sam: i split the twins up you’ll see why. anyways, sam is ice. ice schools are almost strictly defensive, they are absolute TANKS, coming in at 10K+ health by the time they’re fully levelled (other schools average 7-9K). this reflects on their attacks, which are less than ideal doing low damage. they specialise is defending themselves and their friends from attacks, with spells like tower shield that do a universal -50% incoming damage. their sole purpose is take the damage so that the hard hitters can get those hits in.

"Ice wizards are typically strong, loyal, courageous and honest. Ice wizards can take a lot of damage, but are somewhat weaker when attacking."

eric: myth. myth wizards are usually solitary wizards, who summon minions to aid them in combat instead of other wizards. their damage is run of the mill, they are probably the third hardest hitting school. they have everything they NEED to get by solo, but it’s not easy. myth pairs best with ice (imo) because if myth can hit and ice can tank, you’ve got a solid duo. which is why they are the twins.

"Myth wizards are usually Visionary, serious, competitive, and knowledgeable. Myth wizards often fight alone, summoning minions to aid them in battle."

[jovieinramshackle]

hi hi jovie!!

i'd like to throw in 7 and 30! since 30 is supposed to be a made-up question, i want to ask:

What made you like Rollo? (or you can do this with azul instead or both hdklsfj)

HIII HIII Ty for the ask!!! 🙏

Oh boy the perfect excuse to ramble about Rollo and Azul

7. Is there an SSR you really wanted but never got?

It wasn't one....but two

If I remember correctly, BOTH cards came right after his birthday. And I wanted all of his birthday cards...

Azul stop having your event cards come after your birthday I DON'T HAVE THE GEMS OR KEYS FOR THIS SHIT.

And since I missed the first glosmas event (was on a break from twst) I doubt I'll get his card because I'm desperate for Rollo's 💔 (I actually want all 3 but only in my dreams)

30. What made you like Rollo? (Or Azul?)

I'll answer for both characters because once I'm asked about my faves I can't shut up. Ahem.

Azul:

When I first saw Azul he was immediately the first character to catch my attention. There's something about fancy-vintage-dressed motherfuckers that are clearly not what they present themselves as that really gets me (I just like guys in fancy suits).

Plus Ursula has always been one of my favourite Disney Villains, so I was extremely curious to see Azul's character. And oh boy was I not prepared for it.

Now I love Azul mainly because of how relatable he is to me. Ever since I witnessed his breakdown before his overblot. Not just his backstory and struggles with bullying and weight, but the way he is in the present.

We're not the same obviously, but I can't help but see myself in a lot of the things he does and likes.

I also like small cozy places, I like collecting one specific thing (for me it's funko pops or pins), I tend to calculate and think ahead of how something will go down and the possible outcomes etc. (I also love money)

Ofc it's not exactly like him, he's a fictional character created for entertainment, and I'm just some 17 year old lmao.

Rollo:

Rollo.... honestly I did not expect to love Rollo this much. It's actually hard to explain why (I lied, this ended up longer because I couldn't shut up. Sorry, it kinda turned into a Rollo analysis lmao 😭).

Thinking about it, I think I love Rollo because he wasn't what I was expecting. I don't even think I was really expecting anything, I was just curious about what Yana Toboso did with him, considering he's twisted from Frollo of all characters. And oh boy was I not prepared for him.

(obvious glosmas spoilers ahead for anyone who hasn't read the event.Here is the rest of the twst ask game)

I believe the point I really leeched myself onto this rat man is during his break down in the bell tower due to Idia's speech. It's devastating seeing him lash out as his world view crumbles right in front of his eyes. It's sad, it depressing, I can't help but feel pity for him.

His actions made a lot more sense to me then. He lost his brother to Magic, and he assumes that his brother would have also wanted Magic gone for this exact reason. Only thing is he can't know that for sure, his brother's dead, we can't know what his feelings regarding his death are. And Idia even calls him out on that!

Rollo is the one that wants Magic gone, I do think he believes it'll make the world better, but I believe he also does it out of revenge, for his selfish reasons. He's angry with the Mages that did nothing to help, he's angry with a world that allows Magic to be used so carelessly, he's angry with himself for being weak, for not doing anything, and then hates himself for being a Mage.

All of that results to him holding an intense hate for Magic, finding it completely dangerous and hates mages for using it carelessly. He's so devoted in his views, he even projects it onto others he thinks will agree with him. It's what he did with MC, they're magicless, so of course they'd agree with him, and when they didn't, he immediately jumped on the defensive and said it's sad they're used to the chaos, dismissing their answer completely.

But he also punishes himself. He doesn't let himself properly grieve and move on, to heal from the trauma, to the point I believed the death happened recently, until I realised he got his magic after the death, and assuming before getting into NBC, so he couldn't have been older than 15-16. And he's 18 now.

We see he's clearly struggling with depression thanks to his SSR card story. Sleeping very little, eating very little, outright refusing to have any social interactions with his peers. It's the things I, and many others, could relate to, to an extent.

He hates magic, the world that favours magic, the people that wield it and himself, for doing nothing to save his brother and then possessing the very thing that took him.

And I just...find all this super fucking interesting and cool???? LIKE it's such an interesting twisted from Frollo's character, because Rollo's rage is justified and understandable (even tho his actions cannot be excused).

Rollo isn't a villain, none of the characters are, he's an extremely confused, lost and damaged kid that needs help ASAP. He doesn't need to like or use magic, but he needs to learn to stop projecting his ideals onto others and start moving on with his life. To get new, realistic goals for himself, and stop obsessing over a goal that's not attainable, at least not for him. (Fire lotuses felt like a "holy fuck I can actually do it??" moment to me, instead of something he can repeat again).

Idk man I just want him to be happy, maybe while looking after a garden, make him a flower shop owner or something. He deserves a peaceful life.

I hope we see him again... imagine a new event where he's forced to work together with Malleus. Oh the potential...in both comedy and tragedy.

Twst asks game can be found here

[basedkikuenjoyer]

I wanted to take a brief pause after VII, just to talk about hallmarks of Dragon Quest as a series. Because we are leaving the era where these games are a driving force in developing the JRPG genre. Like...I know when I do the final ranking I'm going to put II much higher than most. Because I earnestly feel II is one of those very special games that developed so many things that became ubiquitous you take it for granted. This does not mean VIII, IX, and XI are bad by any stretch. I'd compare it to The Simpsons; your purpose has changed in a world full of imitators. What was revolutionary is not comforting and timeless.

Sadly this does mean we'll lose a few elements that didn't translate into the next generation. Eventually the designers behind the series started following norms competitors innovated. So before we go on to VIII and it's massive legacy, a few favorite hallmarks I didn't get to cover:

One of the most iconic features here since the first that's just as fun in XI. Metal Slimes. So many have tried this and none work as well as the original. Rare version of a weak enemy that nets massive experience. The catch? They're quick to flee and while they have only 3-4 HP their defense is maxed out. Enough you might do 1 damage on a hit. Then later games introduce different, stronger varieties. If you need to grind, the metal slime family always feels like a fun little mini-game to shorten it. And the developers are smart about where their hotspots are usually. If you see one in a new area, it's worth it to try and bag a few first pass.

Dungeon Philosophy. I hate this has fallen by the wayside in favor of following Final Fantasy's style. Early on, you had to approach dungeons like an old school D&D module. You're not doing it first try. It's all part of the fun baked into what happens on a loss. You just go back to the last King/Priest you saved at and lose half your money. The dungeons are designed around this, if it's a tower you can just hop off and go back to town. But you'll have to make a few runs at the labyrinth to figure everything out and learn the optimal path. Especially with...

Random encounters having some teeth to them. This has diminished over time but game design in general has gotten easier so I don't fault DQ for it. But in those early ones, yeah random encounters can be brutal. You need to consider spells like sleep or fog that'll spare you some hits cheaply. If you flee and fail you lose a turn like a lot of RPGs but not every monster will go so it's more viable sometimes. All together, simple but tight design. A dungeon in early Dragon Quest feels like a real challenge of balancing resources like MP. This is why I love III so much, the class system plus peak design philosophy makes everything work so well as a total package. Your party comp will determine which parts are hard or easy.

Decisions on equipment. This is subtle but very cool in practice. Unlike a lot of JRPGs, in these early Dragon Quest games you're going to have to grind a lot to get every new piece of equipment you can buy immediately. Which will feel even worse if something is rendered obsolete with a dungeon treasure. You're not expected to. When you first get to town you decide what felt like it needed to be bolstered the most, then go on and start taking on the dungeon expecting to need a few trips. When you're ready to leave, decide if you want to polish it off here or try your luck with a headstart on the next town. Later games have replaced this with a crafting element I like, so it's more of a lateral move.

[dionysia-does-stories]

Starburst Pattern

Cringetober2023, Day 1: Heterochromia

On AO3

Rating G - 949 words - Teen Titans - Robin/Starfire

Summary: Robin is getting ready for a trip to Gotham where Starfire will meet Batman for the first time and he's a little freaked out about it. Luckily, the heterochromatic eyes of Starfire's new, human disguise hologram prove a welcome distraction.

Story:

Robin was nervous but he was trying not to let it show on his face. His years of training in control and subterfuge had occasionally let him down in the past. Sometimes his thoughts were written all over his face. Especially to the other Titans. Especially to Starfire.  But that couldn’t happen today. Today he was bringing the girl he loved home to meet his…Batman.

Batman who believed love made you weak and relationships made you vulnerable. Batman who demanded your best then demanded more. He was Robin’s mentor of many years. He was the closest thing Robin had to a father. He was Robin’s savior, the only person who saw the rage born of his parents’ death and helped him channel it. He was Batman. He was going to crush Starfire’s heart and Robin would never forgive him.

Robin slammed equipment into a duffle bag. Raven watched him suspiciously, but didn’t comment.

Behind him he heard Cyborg call out, “Star, let’s test it out before you go.”

She flew over to Cyborg, doing a loop-the-loop before hovering in front of him. Her feet hadn’t touched the ground since Dick agreed to take her to Gotham.

“Friend Cyborg, it is a most wondrous invention. It will make be much easier to visit Robin’s K’norfka without being recognized around Gotham.”

“Make sure to tell the Batman that K’norfka in English means nanny,” Beast Boy shouted without looking away from his video games.

“Don’t listen to him. Much as I’d love to see it,” Cyborg advised as he placed a tiny device at the nape of Starfire’s neck.

Starfire’s appearance faded into a more human image. Her skin lost its orange tone. Her hair lost its wild fieriness and some of its length. 

“It’s a term of honor?” She had that lightly questioning tone. The one that said she wasn’t sure what the joke was or if it was mean.

“It doesn’t translate right,” Robin told her as he continued to pack enough tools and weaponry to escape a Justice League holding facility. “If you have to tell him what it means, then translate it as guardian.”

“Okay.” She was floating lower to the ground. 

They hadn’t even left Titan Tower yet and Batman was already a source of misery for her. Robin hated it. He hated that they’d built this silly life where they got to fight crime, but that never stopped them from being honest, kind, and open with each other. He had tried to explain Gotham to Starfire. How it would be all secrets, lies, and darkness. He hadn’t been able to deter her.

Cyborg shot Raven a meaningful look. Raven turned to Robin. She didn’t say anything. She didn’t even move her facial features into a judgmental expression. But Robin knew.

“Was I supposed to lie?”

Raven did raise an eyebrow then. “No you’re acting like he’s going to hate her. How is that not supposed to make her feel bad?”

Robin folded his arms defensively. “He would hate any girlfriend I brought home. And she’s trying so hard. She’s been talking about traditional Tameranian gifts for a month. There’s this purple oozy thing that she went half way across the galaxy to get. Cyborg has been tinkering on this human disguise for days. And why should she have to look human just to meet Batman? She’s beautiful and his opinion of her doesn’t matter at all.”

He was panting by the time he stopped talking. Somewhere along the path of his thoughts, he’d forgotten to pause and breath.

“Feel better?” Raven asked, but it was obvious she knew the answer.

“Yeah,” Robin admitted. “I just want her to be happy. Every version of this that I can think of ends up with her being miserable because of me.”

“It might end with her being miserable. You don’t have control over that. However, It doesn’t need to begin with her being miserable.” She was right. Raven was almost always right.

“MY EYES ARE SO MANY COLORS,” Starfire’s delighted scream filled the living room.

Robin set aside his doomsday packing, walking over to where Starfire examined her reflection. She whipped around, bringing her face inches from his.

“Look at my eyes. They are WHITE!” 

Robin felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. “They’re gorgeous. Most humans would still call them green though.”

“Because you all have white eyes,” Starfire said. “You do not appreciate how wondrous it is. Look even the green part is many colors. I have heterochromia.”

“She has hexed chrones?” Beast Boy shouted from the couch.

Raven, who have drifted over to sit beside him, said “It means her iris is multiple colors.”

Robin stared into her eyes. The human disguise didn’t effect their light or their joy. They were clearly still Starfire’s eyes. Looking into her odd, human, heterochromatic eyes he felt the same as though they were her natural monochromatic green. He saw the power simmering underneath and was comforted by it. 

She was right that they were two tone. They were a dark forest green toward the pupil and a pale yellow-green at the outside edge of the iris.

Starfire excitedly pointed at her irises, almost poking herself in the eye. “Look how the dark green stretches out in all the little lines away from the middle. Cyborg says that it’s a—“

“—Starburst pattern,” Robin cut in. Starfire nodded. 

“Heterochromia,” she rolled the word around on her tongue. “I’ve known that word for years but had the translation a little wrong. Tamaraneans all have eyes like mine.”

“Oh, how did you learn it then?” This was a running joke between them.

“Like this,” she said and kissed him.

[super-ion]

Writing some backstory for my D&D character and it kinda got away from me

Setting belongs to @sunnylucy31 (with a couple of my own head canons for some minor details)

~~~

An icy wind whipped over the Cryptfloe tundra. The twisted stunted trees that sparsely dotted the plains did nothing to stop it so it cut like icy knives. Worse, it brought the faintest stench of rot.

It was not yet mid-spring, but Artemisia had overheard the rangers speaking of an early thaw. This far north, there should have been little to fear from roving undead, otherwise they wouldn't have sent three students on patrol with one of the rangers.

The Frostborn prided themselves on being poets and scholars, trading more in song and knowledge than the material wealth of their lumber and coal. Kofar itself was so isolated, there was little need for any sort of standing army, a point of pride among the ivory tower types who dwelled in Whitespire. Beyond the city walls, beasts and monsters still dwelt among the mountains and the forest and the occasional undead creature made its way across the Cryptfloe. A loosely organized volunteer force of rangers patrolled the lands. It was a difficult, thankless job, but it was necessary.

Service assignments were one of the prices of education in the Frostlands. Everybody worked, everybody contributed. The work was meant to keep scholars humble and keep the skalds in touch with the common people. Some assignments were certainly cushier than others. Some assignments they reserved for particularly troublesome students.

She could endure this. She had to. She was going to be a skald and she was going to travel the world.

She was freezing her ass off.

Artemisia pulled her cloak tighter around her and her tail miserably as she trudged onwards. Instead of grand far off fantasies, she shifted her focus to imagining the warm meal waiting for her back at the outpost. If she played her cards right, she might be able to enjoy a warm body too.

Her gaze drifted to Valoshar. The ranger was half orc, tall and powerfully built. She had spied him in the saunas on the second day of her exile to the tundra and had been slowly probing his defenses. Intuition told her that she couldn't just throw herself at his feet, he had too much self respect and likely had all manner of folk clamoring for his attention with each batch of students that were sent out here. No, if she wanted it, she had to work fort it. So she had contented herself with long game. The best part was he was definitely on to her little game and might even be playing along. Their slow dance of seduction was the only thing that made this sojourn almost tolerable. It was a good distraction and gods above and below, it would be so worth it. Oh, to finally feel those tusks brush roughly against her lips and… elsewhere… it would be-

"I fucking hate this," Eriem muttered for the hundredth time, shattering her fantasy.

The half-elf had done nothing but complain since they had gotten here.

"Yeah, well," Artemisia replied spitefully. "If somebody hadn't been caught stealing from the kitchens, we might have been sent somewhere more pleasant."

"Anyone could have been caught," Eriem protested.

Artemisia scoffed.

"You were bumbling around like an owlbear. It's like you wanted to get caught."

"And I suppose you wouldn't have?" he snipped.

"Oh please," she replied. "I was stealing from my father's kitchen as soon as I could walk. There's an art to it."

"Then why are you out here stumbling around in the snow like the rest of us?"

"Because I'm cursed to associate with morons and idiots," she shot back.

Laru, the fourth member of their party, cleared his throat softly.

"I… I think it's a great honor," he said. "To see the frontier and the brave warriors who defend it."

The little gnome scholar had a soft, melodic voice, he might have made a good skald if he were able to hold a tune worth a damn. But he liked stories, so Artemisia had taken a liking to him. He had responded initially with suspicion, but gradually relaxed when he realized she wasn't a threat.

"Oh please," Eriem scoffed. "You got sent here as a punishment just like Artie and me."

Artemisia ground her teeth at the nickname, but she held her tongue. He knew she hated it and she wasn't about to give him the satisfaction of witnessing her discomfort.

"To each according to their need-" Laru began, but was cut off by another scoff.

"This shit again?" Eriem interrupted.

Laru fell into sullen silence at that.

"Gods, Eriem," she muttered, "do you have to be such an ass all the time? Don't you think this whole situation might be just a little more tolerable if you were pleasant for a change?"

Eriem grumbled something uncharitable that she chose to ignore.

The sad part was Laru believed what he said. Well… she believed the words, she was Frostborn after all. They were a hardy people, but that hardiness came from community. The actual sad part was the scholar believed he had been specially chosen by the Conclave to patrol the Cryptfloe as part of his service curriculum. The maxim of "live together, die alone" took on a looser meaning in Whitespire where so many people living in one location in comfortable safety led to stratification. The likely truth was that he was a pawn in some political machination, somebody's nephew or cousin, shunted off to the tundra for a semester for some blackmail purposes.

Skald education was somewhat different than a scholar's. Artemisia and Eriem were both apprenticed to Gwynris Horthahk. The dwarf was a demanding teacher but when she sang, her audience hung rapt on every note, every word, every tiny gesture. Artemisia wanted that. She had wanted it more than anything ever since Gwynris had stayed at their inn when she was seven. The woman had traded a performance for a room and her father had certainly gotten the far better end of that deal.

Two years prior, word had reached Fardrift that Gwynris was seeking an apprentice and Artemisia had seized her opportunity and made the trek to Whitespire alone in late autumn only to discover that a rich family with an important name was already paying her a tidy salary to mentor one of their scions.

Artemisia, tiefling bastard daughter of an innkeeper from Fardrift, had a name that might have meant something a hundred years prior and a handful of silver that her father had pressed into her hands upon her hurried departure. But she was Frostborn: she knew how to be relentlessly patient.

It was rare for a skald to take on a second apprentice, but she decided to make her presence a problem until she secured that apprenticeship, no matter how long it took.

For two weeks, she hounded the woman's every move, charming her way through the staff entrances of inns, taverns and mead halls across the city, desperate for even a scrap of wisdom. It had taken Eriem three entire days before he realized they were being waited on by the same serving girl in every establishment, but Gwynris herself never commented on it. The woman just regarded her with a detached curiosity.

Eventually, either Gwynris had been impressed by Artemisia's persistence, or she had heard something special in one of her street performances, or maybe she just grew annoyed by the vagabond sleeping on her doorstep. Whatever the reason, Gwynris took her on and Artemisia quickly discovered how harsh of a mentor the dwarf really was.

Eriem, the pompous little shit that he was, was destined to be an orator, singing sagas for the richest families of Kofar and the wealthiest diplomats from abroad. His family's money kept Gwynris well fed and her sole interest in his education was ensuring that he didn't embarrass her.

Artemisia on the other hand, she worked three times as hard. There were endless errands and harrowing lessons that would go on for hours. Artemisia chafed under the preferential treatment and found herself questioning her life's purpose on more than one occasion. But she persisted, and slowly, grudgingly came to realize that Gwynris was preparing her to survive in the world beyond the shores of Kofar. Whatever spark Gwynris saw in Artemisia, she meant for it to thrive and even blaze in the wider world.

Artemisia was certain this assignment, patrolling the tundra's edge with the rangers, was another lesson. Officially, it was punishment. Eriem had indeed stolen sweet cakes from the Conclave kitchens, but Artemisia had the impression that he was being punished more for being caught than the actual crime itself. Artemisia had simply been in the wrong place at the wrong time and "it would be good for her" and "she might learn something".

So she had decided to make the most of it. She swapped tales with Laru and was already composing an epic ballad based on one of the more obscure stories he told her. She had to embellish, of course. No sense writing an epic if it was just going to put people to sleep.

She also collected bawdy drinking songs and solemn dirges from the rangers. It was a fascinating subculture out here on the tundra where frozen undead thawed and slowly advanced every summer. She could probably write a book about it if she were so inclined. Somebody would probably read it.

She was so lost in thought that she didn't notice Valoshar had stopped in his tracks until she almost plowed into him.

By instinct, she froze. She had grown up between the mountains and the forest. She knew that when a ranger stopped moving, something was afoot.

She cocked her head and strained to hear, but the tundra was dead silent save for the wind.

"What the hell is going on, Val?" Eriem shouted.

Before she could turn to tell him to shut up, there was a thunderous crack and she was knocked gracelessly to the frozen ground as a massive shape erupted from beneath them.

The wind was knocked out of her and her hands and knees smarted painfully from where she landed. She only had a moment to blink dazedly before the screaming started.

She scrambled painfully to her feet and whirled. The zombie might have been a bugbear once, but it had rotted and frozen and refrozen beyond recognition. It had its jaws clamped tight around Laru's leg as he beat helplessly at its face.

Her hand grasped the hilt of her rapier and yanked it free. Her mind raced as she tried to recall the details of all the lessons Gwynris had beaten into her. She had never fought a real enemy before, but her understanding was that stage fighting was very much different from the real thing. She squared her stance and raised her blade.

Eriem stood a few paces away, his eyes were round and panicky and his mouth hung slack in terror. He held the hilt of his own sword in a white knuckled grip, but shock had completely frozen him before he could draw it. Fine, if he was going to be useless, at least he had the good sense to stay out of the way.

That left her and…

A warhammer slammed into the zombie's shoulder with a crunch, spraying shards of mostly frozen flesh. The zombie released Laru and turned to face Valoshar. It opened its mouth to groan or howl, but no sound emerged from its frozen lungs. The whole effect was deeply disconcerting in Artemisia's opinion.

She had to do something, anything to assist Valoshar, so she did what came naturally. She opened her mouth and sang.

"The sun blazed high in the clear sky

O'er frozen ground, where no plants grow

The thrice cursed dead, he sent to rest

Their bodies thick upon the snow"

It was from the epic she was composing from Laru's story. Valoshar cocked his head at her in a moment of bafflement, but drew himself up at the words.

She took the opportunity to thrust with the rapier. It bounced ineffectively off the frozen flesh, dimming her bravado somewhat, but it was enough to give Valoshar a chance to deliver a devastating blow to the monster's head.

It went down with a crash, twitching and spasming before Valoshar dealt it another blow that brought it back to stillness.

Artemisia stood panting. They had won. Her words had inspired a mighty warrior into great deeds.

Laru moaned in pain nearby, shattering the thrill of victory. The gnome was in poor shape, his leg was mangled and too much blood lay freezing on the ground.

She swallowed. She knew what she had to do, she had seen it done before.

She held her hands before the wound and began to sing a wordless tune. It wasn't quite the same as when she sang for Valoshar, though there had been magic in that. This was rhythm and melody reshaping the world. There were tales that claimed the world had been sung into existence, but she herself had never come close to believing that until now. Laru's wound knit together, color returned to his skin and his breathing calmed.

She finished the song and continued kneeling at his side. She had sung countless times, for audiences of all sizes, but she had never sung like that before. She had done it. She had cast a spell. She had woven sound and magic together into the world and the whole experience left her breathless and exhilarated.

[elegyofthemoon]

ok im at least a little more cool-headed so

work was easygoing today. genuinely don't remember anything about it because i was spaced out for half of it so 👍🏼did get blood from a patient that was super difficult to get blood from so 👍🏼

guy i hate/am extremely uncomfortable around was sick so i didnt have to deal with him talking my ear off over crap i couldn't care less for

but also because of that, i also found out one of the consulting doctors who is in charge of teaching us actually hates him and thats why the last sessions of teachings hes been giving us such a shit time (i mean tbh i'm still pissed about the time he yelled at me about THAT GUY being late all the time.) he was actually really nice to me when the guy wasn't here which was. such a change in his general demeanor.

Talked too much about Love and Deepspace that I somehow brought a friend who i only recently reunited with into it (she's eyeballing Zayne. also I haven't talked to her in 3 years) just because I remembered she used to like otome games and was like "oh wait hold on maybe she's played this already". didn't mean to rope her in by accident but yay ???? i guess???? more friends to chat about lads with ????? i guess????

Also played the silly beach event in HI3 and while I am in Pain over tower of defense. It is too funny and I love it a lot lol so it made me laugh a bit

think thats it from the day

[missgineaus]

but here's some got7 hp/hogwarts headcanons:

jaebum

gryffindor | 7th year prefect

best subject: care of magical creatures

looks like he should be attending durmstrang instead but is the softest for the first years actually

is only supposed to have one cat on hogwarts grounds but ahahahaha 😉

animals love jaebum ok they love him like unicorns just walk up to him and chew on his hair

jinyoung says that's why he's prematurely balding lol

"maybe" blew up his feather in his first transfiguration class lol

jinyoung

ravenclaw | 6th year prefect

best subject: arithmancy

whoever said ravenclaws were weak clearly never met jinyoung

some say if you take his™ study table in the library, you'll be fed to the merpeople in the lake

it's leviOsa not leviosA

one time jinyoung forgot his outer robe in ravenclaw tower and made everyone on the moving staircase trip cuz of his peach 🍑

probably has discussions on magical theory with professors

mark

hufflepuff | 7th year prefect

he’s a nice fuck boy ok lol

best subject: defense against the dark arts

is really cute and people mistake him for a 4th year often even though he's one of the oldest 7th years

can kick your ass in a duel (competitive af man)

no really so competitive that sparks will fly from his wand when he’s incensed

no one paid attention to him until he dyed his hair blonde once in 4th year and um wow yeah now everyone knows who he is lol

spins his wand in his hand like one spins a dagger and it's the hottest thing wtf

amazing with non verbal spell work -all his spells are probably non verbal actually

people hate that cuz they never know what he uses agains them in a duel and they lose

jackson

slytherin | 7th year head boy

best subject: charms -

In A Different Game

RICH IN MY A M B I T I O N

knows everybody, if you think jackson doesn't know you ❌wrong❌ he does

is really silly and is the first person to laugh at himself and is actually a really good head boy because he's not intimidating and the younger years feel safe and laugh around him

doesn't change the fact he's smart

people really forget he's smart even tho he's head boy it's a little ridiculous

both his parents are charmsmaters and he wants to be one too

can always find him in the kitchens eating organic -house elves love him ok

youngjae

gryffindor | 6th year

best subject: herbology

can sing plants into bloom

the only person the mandrakes probably don't scream at lol

holds tutoring sessions for herbology in one of the greenhouses wow he's so nice

bambam swears the stars shine on youngjae during astronomy class

will steal your treacle tart

literally right off your plate

is probably a really go0d beater even tho he’s not on the quidditch team

in the frog choir

made jaebum also join the frog choir haha

probably interns at the infirmary cuz he wants to a healer or at least going into healing herbology

has a tattoo of a plant but no one has ever seen the whole thing

bambam

gryffindor | 5th year

best subject: transfiguration

has quick fashion fixes using his transfiguration skills

has turned yugyeom into a frog at least once

yugyeom thought it was cool

jinyoung did not

one time he and mark sneaked out to get some snacks at hogsmeade and would have gotten caught by a professor patrolling the corridors if bambam didn't transfigure them into intricate tapestries

seriously the detail in his transfigurations are no joke

has a scrapbook of magical and non magical photos of him and his friends more heavily warded than the trunk with his designer clothes

professors really like him lol

yugyeom

ravenclaw | 5th year

best subject: potions

the one subject he's naturally better at than jinyoung but jinyoung will never admit this

tried to fight the giant squid

probably brewed amortentia and made people smell it and found out half the schools crushes

has a secret magical dandelion tattoo that changes colors

says every potion is EEEEEEASYYYY

probably actually likes the history of magic - like spews the most randomest facts at inconvenient times it’s so annoying lol

...and because im a markson ho i gotta include them is this au right haha here's some additional markson/gen js hcs!

markson

probably like the loudest couple theyre always yelling and laughing -theyre too cute tho so its hard telling them to shut up

jackson sometimes uses his headboy status to excuse his class tardiness and why he’s so out in the corridors late at night to walk mark to class and back to the hufflepuff common room

actually since hes head boy and has a room to himself, mark and the rest of their friends probably crash in jacksons room at least 3/7 days lol

actually now that we’re on jackson -everyone forgets he’s a slytherin cuz they think he’s too nice for his house

and he’s not fake nice he’s actually sincerely kind

but his drive and will to succeed at what he wants is unparalleled (PLAY JACKSON'S ENTIRE DISCOGRAPHY COME ON)

he sleeps the least out of his friends cuz hes always studying or practicing spell work or wand movements or reviewing notes

some of the first years think jackson a slytherin cuz his robes changed to a green color cuz he eats so much vegetables and drinks so much green tea LOL

original twitter thread | originally posted 18 feb 2019

[leonsrightlations]

The Earth is Online Chapter 13

“Stowaways all have a very terrible scent on their bodies. The Black Tower hates stowaways the most, so I can get a lot of rewards for eating stowaways as well as enormous power. The meat of a stowaway is also particularly tasty. This is something I’ve never told anyone.”

The giant mole narrowed those tiny eyes, stomping the leftover turkey bones on the ground to pieces.

“There’s a vile stowaway among you seven. Bring them to me and I will eat them!”

Step by step, the big mole closed in on them.

The chef came to half-consciousness, raising his head just in time to catch sight of the big mole’s sharp claws. He shrieked in fright. The mole rushed at him, issuing a sharp cry, and the chef almost passed out in fear once more.

Tang Mo touched his wrist, but the match tattoo was already gone. According to the mole’s statement just now, the match could bring him through the second floor. That meant it definitely had some kind of use for the first floor as well. Tang Mo could sense that he hadn’t at all brought out the match’s full potential. He was only swinging it around ignorantly.

If he was given a bit more time and could attack the Black Tower a little bit later, he might have been able to more thoroughly prepare.

So why did he have to now attack the tower in advance!

The name of the stowaway who had opened the tower attack game flashed into Tang Mo’s mind, but there was no time to complain. He calmly asked, “Which one is the stowaway? How can we find and deliver them to you?”

Li Wen and Lin Qiao’s eyes widened at the same time and they looked toward Tang Mo.

Luo Fengcheng glanced at him and said nothing. The young woman, Peng Yu Wen’s complexion was pale as she watched Tang Mo, her eyes flickering. She seemed not to understand the meaning of his words.

Lin Qiao couldn’t help but say, “You really want to deliver them? This mole said it will eat that person…”

Tang Mo’s expression was cold as he asked rhetorically, “Then are you going to replace the stowaway and be its dinner?”

Lin Qiao’s words were choked off.

Luo Fengcheng’s faint voice sounded. “The stowaway is a murderer. [1] Maybe they had no choice but to kill. Maybe it was out of defense. The laws of the outside world might not sentence them to death, but the Black Tower has already given them the death penalty. We are only finding the stowaway. The other matter has nothing to do with us.”

Li Bin’s expression transformed and he nodded. “Yeah, that’s right… We only want to find out who the stowaway is, nothing more.”

The big mole laughed with a “ji ji.” “How should I know which one is the stowaway? My cave isn’t big enough and all of you humans have gathered together. The stowaway’s scent has drifted throughout the whole cave. I can’t find them. I’ll give you all an hour’s time to find that vile stowaway. I’ll eat one human for each hour you don’t find them. Then I must be able to eat the stowaway.” The big mole looked at Tang Mo. “Oh, that’s right. The relationship between you and Mosaic is very good. You even lent me a match… Then I’ll eat you last, okay?”

Tang Mo didn’t have much of a reaction to this favor.

The big mole looked at Tang Mo’s indifferent appearance and laughed, then went to the corner and began digging. It seemed to want to make its cave bigger by digging. It dug for a bit, then again turned its head. “Two minutes have already passed. Have you found the stowaway?”

Everyone listened to the big mole’s words, their heads covered in a cold sweat.

Li Bin glanced at everyone, then clenched his teeth and asked, “I’ll just ask once. During those three days’ time, have any of you…killed someone?”

Without question, everybody all shook their heads.

“I guessed it would be like this.“ Since they entered the cavern, the white collar elite held the appearance of their leader. There was no exception now. Li Bin forced himself to appear calm and began to analyze the situation. “The mole said that in those three days, the stowaway eliminated a player by way of murder. The stowaway definitely possesses an ability and they have a terrible scent on their body. I haven’t smelled this scent. Have any of you smelled it?”

Lin Qiao shook her head. “I haven’t. My sense of smell has always been very sharp. There’s only the scent of dirt here.”

Everybody all said they hadn’t. Li Bin’s complexion became unsightly. “Then maybe it’s a scent we humans can’t smell. Only they can smell it. How should we find the stowaway?”

Luo Fengcheng said, “The stowaway committed murder and has an ability.”

The chef had been unconscious for a long time, hadn’t heard any of the big mole’s PSA, [2] and couldn’t follow everyone’s rhythm. “Murder? Ability? Hold on, just what happened?”

Nobody had time to explain it to him.

Li Bin asked, “So what?”

The words had just fallen when Li Bin suddenly turned to look at Tang Mo. “You definitely have an ability!”

Tang Mo had just a moment ago drawn a big match out of thin air. This was definitely beyond human power. It was an ability.

Li Wen explained for Tang Mo, “The big mole said that among us seven, there are two official players, four reserve players, and a stowaway. The official players participated in an official Black Tower game to log in. Tang Mo should be an official player. He knows someone named Mosaic. The big mole knows that person, and they definitely also have something to do with the Black Tower game.”

Tang Mo said, “I really did come in by participating in a Black Tower game. Based on the big mole’s statement, I’m probably an official player.”

Li Bin still shook his head. “Before today, you really might have participated in a Black Tower game, but no one can guarantee that it was during those three days. Four days have now passed since the Black Tower announced that the Earth is online. Who can be sure that you didn’t play a game on the fourth day and murder someone during those three days?”

Tang Mo suddenly felt that it was a bit ridiculous. Just as he was about to retort, he heard Luo Fengcheng say, “He’s an official player. The Black Tower hates stowaways and stowaways have a scent on their body. If he isn’t an official player, then before he could see the big mole he certainly would have been discovered by Mosaic, the big mole’s companion. He wouldn’t have been able to survive until today, let alone get Mosaic’s match.”

Tang Mo looked at Luo Fengcheng in astonishment. The other also looked at him.

Neither of them spoke again and the others also understood.

Li Bin said, “That makes sense. There’s a ninety percent chance you really are an official player. There’s still a ten percent chance you’re a stowaway and previously used some kind of trick to conceal your scent so that you weren’t noticed by that Mosaic.”

He paused, then suddenly walked into the center of the seven people. He looked at them all seriously. “Right now, I’ll confess that I am the second official player.”

Tang Mo was a bit surprised.

Li Bin forced a smile and lifted his right hand. “My ability is very chicken ribs. [3] I don’t want to reveal too much about its specific capabilities, but in the current circumstances, it’s not much use at all. However, I can demonstrate my ability’s effect for you.”

Abilities were everyone’s secret and he could be forgiven for not wanting to reveal his.

They saw Li Bin crouch on the ground, reach out his right finger, and draw a circle on the ground. A smooth, flowing curve gradually appeared on the ground. It was an extremely precise circle and the final point fell exactly at the beginning point. From start to finish, it formed a perfect enclosed circle.

This was a circle that he had drawn out purely with his finger, no tool required.

Lin Qiao’s eyes widened. “So round? Your ability shouldn’t be ‘can draw circles without a compass,’ right?”

Can this be called an ability?

Tang Mo faintly frowned. “Although this circle is extremely well done, it definitely can’t prove that you have an ability. You might have studied art.”

Li Bin nodded. “Then watch again.”

They saw Li Bin reach out his finger and, next to the circle from before, he once again drew a circle. It came full circle [4], fully smooth and round. It was once again an exceedingly perfect circle.

“Ah! Isn’t this the same size as the circle from before!?” Lin Qiao said in alarm.

Li Bin wore a resigned expression. “What my specific ability is, I don’t want to say. But you should be convinced that I have an ability, right? I’m the remaining official player.”

“You…you have an ability. Why can’t you be the stowaway?” The young woman, Peng Yu Wen, stood behind Lin Qiao and spoke shyly, her complexion pale.

Li Bin said, “I took the initiative to come forward and say that I’m an official player. Could I still be the stowaway? Little friend, if I was the stowaway, I would certainly try to hide now, not let other people know that I have an ability. Right now, among the seven of us, only this younger brother [5] is safest.” He pointed at Tang Mo. “There’s an eighty or ninety percent chance he’s really an official player. The big mole said that reserve players might also possess abilities, but the probability is very low. We can just treat it like they don’t have any. In that case, the next person with an ability to appear had a fifty percent chance of being a stowaway.”

Li Bin earnestly analyzed, “Under these circumstances, I took the initiative to come forward and reveal to you all that I have an ability. This can prove that I’m upright and unafraid of having a crooked shadow.” [6]

Li Wen, standing at Tang Mo’s side, interrupted, “You could also be using reverse psychology.” [7]

Li Bin still said, “Since it’s like this, let the third person with an ability come forward. As long as they come forward, they are definitely the stowaway. Because I know - I haven’t killed anyone. I participated in a game. This younger brother is also an official player. So the third person who possesses an ability is definitely a stowaway!”

Tang Mo said, “I believe you.”

Just now, Li Bin had continuously displayed calm, but his lips were actually always slightly trembling. Now he suddenly heard Tang Mo’s words and he shivered from excitement. He walked right up to Tang Mo’s side. “Younger brother, thank you. I really am an official player. I can tell you all about the game I played. I can tell you how I won that game. I can say it all.”

Tang Mo smiled, shook his head, and said, “You in particular don’t have to say it. All of us must say it.”

In the dim underground cavern, the big mole rustled as it dug in the dirt, its mouth whistling a joyful tune.

In order to declare what all of them had experienced previously in those three days, seven people gathered together.

Luo Fengcheng seriously swept his eyes over all of their faces and said, “I can divide all of the murders that occur in this world into three kinds: The first kind is the accidental type. This is the most commonly seen reason for killing. Most of the time, people have an excited state of mind and can’t control themselves. They might kill by mistake, or use excessive force from self-defense, causing an accident. This is an honest mistake. If that stowaway among us [8] killed someone due to an accident, then when that big mole clearly gave the definition of a stowaway, they would certainly be uneasy. They would feel they had been revealed, have a guilty conscience, and feel somewhat exposed.”

Li Wen said in alarm, “Ah? Then say it earlier. A long time has passed now. Who knows what everyone’s reaction was at that time?”

Tang Mo said, “I paid attention. At that time, everyone’s reactions all still seemed normal and not too excited.”

Luo Fengcheng gave Tang Mo a glance. “He’s not wrong.”

Since entering this cavern, Tang Mo hadn’t relaxed his vigilance. Having experienced a “you die, I live” two person confrontation game, Tang Mo didn’t dare believe these unfamiliar “teammates.”

Luo Fengcheng continued to say, “So there’s an eighty percent chance that the stowaway among us didn’t accidentally kill. They knew they were committing murder. It was deliberate. There is the second kind - the violent type. They only purely desire to kill. The reason is generally to satisfy their own various abnormal psychological or physical needs.”

Everyone touched their necks, feeling a bit cold.

This kind of criminal also wasn’t rare. Serial killers could be classified in this category.

Tang Mo wrinkled his brows.

Then Luo Fengcheng finally said, “I think the stowaway among us ought to be classified as the third kind. They deliberately killed, but don’t have the heart of a killer. They know it’s murder, but absolutely aren’t a homicidal person. They have their own reason for killing. So when they’re exposed, they won’t be surprised, because they already know what they did and why they had to do it.”

Li Wen gulped. “I also feel there shouldn’t be a crazy, antisocial killer like that among us.”

Lin Qiao felt a bit cold. “I also agree. It should be the third kind.”

Tang Mo very calmly listened until Luo Fengcheng finished speaking every word. Then he walked up to Luo Fengcheng and said with a smile, “What you said is really very reasonable. Like this, we can now continue the previous topic, right? It would be best to start from you. Mr. Luo, what did you do in those three days? Are you really a game designer? Where do you work?”

Luo Fengcheng lifted his head slightly, looking at the black-haired youth before his eyes.

Tang Mo’s expression wasn’t too aggressive, yet there was a thread of doubt and question mixed into his gaze.

The two of them stood face to face for a long time.

Luo Fengcheng took an ID out of his pocket and handed it over. “During those three days, I was under the Black Tower conducting research experiments. Let’s officially meet. I’m the team leader of the S-City District A research institute, Luo Fengcheng.”

[PREV] [TOC] [NEXT]

Character Refresher:

Li Bin (李彬), 29, male, works at a PR firm.

Peng Yu Wen (彭玉雯), 18, female, first year of university. Small, looks like a junior high student.

Tang Mo (唐陌), 23, male, librarian. Our protagonist! :D

Li Wen (黎文), 25, male, unemployed. A foolishly sweet second generation whose Maserati is now destroyed.

Lin Qiao (林巧), 20, female, university student.

Zhao Xiang (赵翔), 32, male, former chef.

Luo Fengcheng (洛风城), 28, wears glasses and looks refined.

Uncle Mole (鼹鼠叔叔), a cute and generous mole. ^_^

Translation Notes:

[1] The general words 犯罪 and 罪犯 (crime and criminal) continue to be used throughout here with a few exceptions. To ease my own headache over this matter, I’ve decided to just translate them directly as murder/murderer or killing.

[2] The text says “料普” (with the quotes). I had a really hard time trying to figure out what this means, but based on the literal translation (popular information) and the quotes, I’m guessing that it has the same kind of casual, faux-official tone and meaning as PSA. Uh, PSA stands for public service announcement, in case you don’t know.

[3] “Chicken ribs” means basically useless. Baidu: “It doesn’t have much meat but it would be a pity to throw it away. Something that has little value but you can’t bear to abandon it.”

Shout out to Baidu for always having the answers to my Chinese language and culture questions when all English browsers have is fear mongering about China as a geopolitical power. *kisses two fingers and raises them to the sky* (I assume that’s where Baidu is, based on the aforementioned fear mongering [JOKE!!!!].)

[4] 周而复始 - idiom literally meaning “the circle comes back to the start.” Like the English saying “to come full circle,” it doesn’t actually have anything to do with literal circle shapes. Rather, it refers to repetitive, cyclical actions and events like seasons. Basically, this is just word play.

[5] 兄弟 (xiongdi) - Another brother appears… Literally younger brother, and that’s how I’ll translate it, to avoid overburdening readers with pinyin to remember.

[6] “Those who stand upright are unafraid of casting a crooked shadow” is a Confucian saying. It basically means that those who haven’t done anything wrong aren’t afraid of appearing as though they have. (As a real life “sorry cop,” I don’t know that I personally agree with that statement!!!!)

[7] More literally, “taking advantage of our reversed thinking.” He’s accusing Li Bin of coming forward because they would never expect the stowaway to come forward. So, reverse psychology.

Sorry for all the consecutive footnotes. BTW, if anyone knows how to hyperlink down and back for footnotes on tumblr please hit me up. I just don’t think tumblr has this functionality at all, otherwise, as a personal footnote lover, I would implement it. I could be wrong, though.

[8]

I’m actually not sorry about this footnote.

--

The author's little theaters don't make it into the official print version and I don't have the raws for them (sadge) so here's my own unofficial little theater:

Fu Wenduo: My wife thought about me today... (/▽＼*)｡o○♡

Tang Mo: (#ಠ益ಠ)

[nochi-quinn]

campaign 3 episode 58: brb flying to la to steal matt's shins

I got sick again today but I'M TRYING

they got him!!

"we really should give all our producers a raise"

marisha that top

I believe the trope is magipunk but obvs I haven't seen it yet

HOWEVER magipunk is one of my favorite tropes so I'm hoping

game now called Taliesin's Baby

I hate literally every second of this

"teeth, tentacles and terror" hate that too

mapphew strikes again

"the trees have bones"

"we had a real estate agent but they ghosted us" BOO

"it's a bit much"

"I think you grabbed the one that was too big"

augh the wolf snouts coming out of it

"six :D"

HATE THAT NOISE

matt's noises are also hurting my brain so this tracks

nobody gets freaked out by legendary actions like travis gets freaked out by legendary actions

"BUT THAT'S METAGAMING"

"he's actually half butts"

matt says Make Expensive Choices

why does laura sound like she's on Old Timey Radio

I WARNED YOU ABOUT STAIRS BRO

it's a Wet Monster it should take double from lightning

Chew Again

BIT IT AND QUIT IT

"how many of its butts fell off"

guiding bolt upp the butt(s)

FEARNE

"matthew how DARE you roll a natural 20"

NINE

FRIDA

somebody curse matt's dice

trade matt's dice with laura's

frida pulling every available feat out to throw at the meat tower

Action Surge Sharpshooter Grit Point is the fighter version of Reckless Great Weapon Master

"please gif that"

"aRe YoU uSiNg ThE sAmE dIcE"

"say parmesan if you want me to hit him" "PARMESAN"

"OKLAHOMA SAFE WORD"

a whole lot of rules just got flung around and I zoned out in self-defense

"a weird divacup for this massive period stain"

AUNT FLOW

"does it have eyes" "occasionally" "you can't SAY THAT"

hey I hate it

"a roll I wish I had failed"

gay

"tree trunk of skin" [lenny]

"it's not the holy grail!" "if you read enough dan brown - kinda!"

liam is here in spirit

AND ON SAM'S GAS CAN APPARENTLY

"GIVE HER BANGS"

"no, we just got the art"

oh hate

oh HATE

please run. please leave.

it is going to Eat You

"I rolled a 1 but it comes out to 23"

this is the closest we've gotten to matt breaking out an hourglass in a while

"paper - not being humanoid - because it's a piece of paper - "

"it's nOT A DILDO"

"frida - take this down"

CHRISTIAN

"and then I burn the notes and leave" okay arkhan

"just be a little smarter, okay?"

and then it WORKED

"this gargamel motherfucker stealing smurfs"

"I've never read a book. I'm actually older than books."

not the dot matrix printer

"be careful, link….the yuck moon rises once again…"

"I only saw her from the back but my god was she beautiful"

"abs for days"

COBOSO

"I don't know why wizards would have abs"

"it was very sad, he died, clearly"

irl gifts IRL GIFTS

SHIRTS

"I invented polyester"

and in the COLOR SCHEMES

"it's segmented, sepratated" sasha nein's mindscape

"you're a mess"

don't chase the rabbit!

if there are stars when you look down -

everybody gets presents

"it's a sweatshirt made out of wood"

YOU ARE WHO YOU CHOOSE TO BE

"one more?" "…….ka-put"

EVERYBODY GETS PRESENTS

eabria come get your smut

their collective quest to get travis to turn into a tomato

I can't believe this is canon

they almost have to swap back now right. right? this is such a good place to wrap up. please return the other half of the table.

thank you for not being That Guy matt

;-;

HEY MATT??

YOU'VE SUFFERED A TERRIBLE FATE HAVEN'T YOU

the RED END

did fcg just become a champion?

IS DEANNA BEING MADE A CHAMPION?

gods going through their whole rolodex sending out SOSes

I forgot how much of a dick pelor is

I'm sorry, the ~dawnfather~

wait is the spider queen freaking out at opal? is this a disaster on both sides of the aisle?

where's opal, I wanna talk to opal

imogen is the kid who grew up secular and heard about every different religion from pop culture osmosis

(imogen is me)

it's a Stuff-Doing-Coin

see in scripted media her giving him the ring would be an enormous death flag. it still kind of is because I'm a paranoid panda but still

you have to give travis the inventory it's the rules

SDKJFLKSD

matt

THE RTA

sam sploded

this is tonight's real lore drop

just throw a dart at the map

it does DAMAGE?

"why does he say it like that"

MATTHOLOMEW MERCER

"WHAT'S NEW JERSEY"

liam's not even here to do the accent

"that's more fun" FOR WHO

NO FUCK YOU

LAURA

MATT

I HATE EVERYONE HERE

"I can't tell if she's doing a bit"

BEEN A WHILE SINCE I WANTED TO FIGHT THEM IN THE PARKING LOT AFTER THE SHOW BUT HERE WE ARE