#this is why i dont write or plot fanfic outside the holidays when i got work

[veryinnovative]

TARTE TATIN: RE SPOILERS UNDER READMORE........ignore the time <3

iv talked plenty abt how tt was supposed to be 7 different things as i wrote it bc i never rly had a clear idea just Vibes and that i rly enjoyed the bear and trying to stick to the energies of the bear while concocting a story of my own started getting difficult....like again there were 18 diff directions it couldv gon in but the ones i liked lots last year i wanna reintroduce again are like

most importantly: the killing remain flashbacks so as to retain some of the levity in the fic and arent even directly referenced the first 80k words or so,, only the returning feeling of dread at the start of every chapter. the flashbacks rly enunciate that whatever happened was in the past a long time ago and that reg's been trying rly hard to start from a fresh slate

reg's role as culinary spawn pretty much and how it was reinforced

pursuing my own OG trio bartyxregxdorcas agenda by having crouch sr be the executive chef who traumatized not only his own son but regulus as well,, which gives barty all the more resources and incentive to travel to France and remain there

pandora is just a good baker bc she learned from regulus and evan's always been the talented kind who picks up quickly on things and a true man of the sea in this fic...

ok u remember that one dorcas chapter where reg joked abt killing her dad? yeah that was originally not supposed 2 be a joke. i wanted reg to have killed important members of each family to protect dorcas, the twins nd barty. in tt it became clear he killed the last rosier family member to protect the twins and also barty's dad. originally, he killed dorcas' dad as well in my head bc he was abusive.

the reason i didn't go with the initial idea is bc i strayed off sooooo far from the og plotline and thought it'd be too 'grim'. but honestly,, that's what the brief flashbacks are for, to keep that distinction

JAMES. i feel so dumb for not having written out the teens jegulus bc of laziness. james' dad was originally also in the culinary world as famous restauranteur. james' obsession was supposed to be born of this one-sided rivalry which i last year couldn't b bothered 2 write out. so pretty much,, before the big showdown with Dumbledore,, somewhere in their teens, james and reg were sent to some sort of masterclass together that was also meant to be reg's debut. BUT james had signed up under a false name so to not come across as too hard of a nepo baby. this is the moment where he really realized: 1. oh my god is that sirius' little brother and 2.oh my god what the fuck someone is better than me for once? and 3. what the fuck what a little shit-- and obsession is born.......

the lucius arc and himalayan salt just is . Eh. i think i wanna go for some kind of lucius x crouch sr past cooperation of. idk. preparation nd consumption of exotic animals or something (hunger netflix style) that james still holds as dirt over his head

also crouch sr hated the black family, which is why he was so harsh on regulus. but again, i love the idea of still keeping him as a journalist but i fuck with the idea of executive chef crouch who HATED voldemort and agreed on tutoring reg because he wanted to set him up for failure only for it to backfire HARD

i have ideas to tinker with the 'plan'......some old some new....wip..

marlene is also a linecook bc why the fuck not??? mary however is the hot one with a bar

guys never try rewriting a fic that's not finished while simultaneously updating the non-rewritten(?) version for those who still want to read

[crystalninjaphoenix]

Similarities

Switch AU

A JSE Fanfic

Y’know I realize there hasn’t been that much advancement of the plot in this AU as of late. Sorry bout that. But hey, no story is all action all the time. And we get character development! In this, Jackie stays over with JJ and Marvin, and talks with the latter about some...experiences. Emotions are involved. Two characters grow closer. Stuff like that. It was nice to write, so I hope you guys enjoy :)

More of this AU found here

“And then! And then Kristy gave me this bracelet. She gave one to all the girls in class, I mean, but look at it! It’s my favorite colors!” Michelle shook her wrist, causing her new red-and-yellow beaded bracelet to spin wildly around it. “And I’m the only one who got the star charms!”

Jackie smiled, leaning down to ruffle Michelle’s hair. “Sounds like a fun last day of school.”

“It was! And now we’re on holiday, and that’s always great!” Michelle flopped down onto her back, now laying on the living room floor, and looked up at her dad sitting on the sofa with wide eyes. “And about holidays, what did you get me for Christmas?”

“I can’t tell you that! It’ll ruin the surprise!”

“I’ll like it anyway.”

Jackie laughed. “That’s probably true, but the surprise makes it even better. Why, is there something you really want?”

“Don’t worry, I already wrote my letter,” Michelle said proudly. “I gave it to Ren.”

“Oh that’s great!” Jackie said. Rama showed him the letter earlier; Michelle had included a detailed list of toys she wanted Santa to bring. “Right, I forgot they told me they dropped it off at the mailbox. They also said your writing is looking really good.”

“They did?!” Michelle beamed. “That’s so cool.”

Before Jackie could continue, the alarm on his phone went off. He dug it out of his hoodie pocket and turned it off, sighing. “Well, looks like I have to go now.”

“Aww.” Michelle’s happy expression turned to a pout as they sat up. “Can’t you stay more? I never see you anymore.”

“Sorry, sweetie, Dad has to go to work,” Jackie said regretfully. “But I’m really glad I stopped by before I had to.”

“Stupid work,” Michelle grumbled. She held out her arms. “Hug?”

Jackie bent over and gave her a hug, squeezing tight as he lifted her off the ground and onto her feet. “I’ll see you again later.”

“Bye, Dad.” Michelle waved as Jackie grabbed his coat and walked over to the front door, heading out.

It was a bit after noon, the sky partly cloudy. Jackie had taken to picking up shorter afternoon and evening shifts at the hospital. He was fine with taking more, but his boss still insisted he didn’t work as much, after the...ordeal he went through a few months ago. Part of him wondered if she was trying to get him to quit or something, but he wasn’t going to do that any time soon, so it was a misguided strategy if that was the case.

Rama was outside, trying to do yard work in their small front garden. Jackie stopped for a moment, watching. They quickly noticed and stopped, standing up straight and turning around to ask, “Enjoying the view?”

“Hey, I-I didn’t—I wasn’t—” Jackie stammered, blushing a bit. “You’re wearing a coat. I was just thinking it looked a bit difficult, pulling up dead weeds in the—in the hard winter dirt—”

“I know, Jackieboy,” Rama chuckled. “Leaving so soon?”

“Yeah,” Jackie said regretfully. “I already said goodbye to Michelle.”

Rama hesitated, then slowly asked, “Have you...thought about moving back in...any time? In the near future, I mean.”

Jackie paused, thinking about it as he turned to look over the house. It was so familiar to him. It was his home—or at least, it had been, up until...everything happened. And just being inside put him on edge. “You know...it’s not just that it’s ours, i-it’s any place that...sort of looks like the place where...” He trailed off. After all this time, he still hadn’t told Rama anything about Distorter. He wasn’t sure why. It wasn’t a good idea to keep secrets from your spouse. But just...something like that...it seemed like the more people knew about Distorter, the more they were pulled into this situation. They’d already lost Michelle for a bit, he couldn’t bear if...

“I understand,” Rama nodded. “But...we miss you. Even though you visit so often.”

“I know, I miss you too.” Jackie thought about it. “I—I still get pretty anxious, but I’m working on it. With Lisa.” That was his therapist. “Maybe sooner rather than later?”

Rama went silent, then clapped their hands once. “Okay. We’ll buy an apartment.”

“Wh-what?!” Jackie gasped. “Ramram, you can’t do that! It’s expensive, and we’re putting most of your book money towards Michelle’s education—Not to mention it’ll be a whole change, the move might be hard on Mich, especially if it’s too far away from the school and she has to transfer. And we’re in the suburbs because of the quiet for your writing—No, i-it won’t work out, I can’t make you two do that.”

After a moment, Rama slowly nodded. “If you’re sure. Take care of yourself, mi corazón. Do what’s best for you.”

Jackie walked over and gave Rama a quick squeeze of the hand. “I will. You do the same.”

They leaned close and kissed him on the cheek. “Have a good time at work.”

“Thanks. I mean, I’ll try. I’ll see you guys later.”

And with that, he headed over to his car and got inside. Before driving off, he waved at the house one more time. Rama waved back, standing in the yard, and Michelle did, too, watching from the front window. He kept looking at them as he pulled away.

——————— 

That evening, Jackie was driving back from work, tired after a long day, when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. Who could be texting him now? Rama, maybe? Did they want to continue the conversation they had before he went to the hospital? Or maybe it was similarly important. Curious, Jackie pulled over to the side of the road and parked, taking his phone out to check it really quick.

The message was from JJ. Hey Jackie. Sorry, but it’s happened again.

Jackie knew what that meant. He unlocked the phone and replied, Marvin? Whats the problem this time? Symptoms?

Fever again. Sometimes coughing, no sneezing. I thought it was just a cold, but I think it’s getting bad.

Bad? Jackie asked, already worried.

Maybe I’m just paranoid. Thinking about that time he had to stay in the hospital last year. But I’d rather be safe than sorry. Can you pop over?

Jackie didn’t hesitate. Of course. I’ll be right there. But first, how long has he been sick?

JJ paused, probably thinking. Well it really only started the day before yesterday, but about a week ago he got a little sick. He was better by the next day, so I assumed that was it.

Yknow he mightve been pretending to be better?

If he was, I’m going to kill him, JJ immediately replied. 

Jackie let out a huff of laughter. Dont kill him before I get there. I’ll be there in ten minutes, tops.

Got it. Thanks.

He put his phone back in his pocket and pulled back onto the road. He really hoped it wasn’t a repeat of what happened last year. That situation had been...worrying. Stressful, even. Because Marvin hadn’t had any official paperwork, they couldn’t get him to the hospital right away, not until Anti could forge some stuff. Poor Marvin had to suffer through a lot before they got everything together. Luckily, they’d gotten him up-to-date with paperwork and vaccines since then, but even so, winter seemed to especially affect his health.

It was unlikely that this would be a similar situation, but just in case, Jackie stepped on the gas.

———————

He arrived at Marvin and Jameson’s house nine minutes later and hurried up to the front door, where he knocked and waited. Almost immediately the door swung open to show Jameson inside. So glad you could make it, he signed. I hope I didn’t message you at an inconvenient time.

“Huh? No, it was fine, I was heading back home, anyway.” Jackie stepped inside, and JJ closed the door behind him. “Is he in his room?”

Unless he left in the last minute, JJ said.

That might actually be a possibility, given Marvin’s attitude towards being sick. Jackie hurried down the hall to his bedroom. The door was closed, so he slowly eased it open and poked his head in. “Marvin? It’s me.”

The lights were off, and the dark room was filled with the sound of an electric fan whirring. Something moved on the bed—probably Marvin rolling over. “Y’got t’be more specific. ‘Me’ coul’ be anyone,” he mumbled.

“It’s Jackie.” As he said this, Jackie reached over and flipped on the light switch, so Marvin could see him as well as hear.

“Ah!” Marvin squeezed his eyes shut against the sudden brightness. “Jackie? Huh. Come for a visit..? No, wait...y’here for somet’ing?”

“Yeah, I’m just uh...stopping by for a bit.” Jackie took a step into the room, JJ following shortly behind, and walked over to the bed. “How are you feeling?”

“‘M fine. Jus’ grand.” Obviously, this was not the case. Marvin was sweating enough to make his hair damp, and his skin had a sickly pallor. But despite how hot he seemed, he was shivering, and had the comforter on the bed pulled up. Mr. Fluffington was sitting next to the pillow, purring furiously. Marvin reached over and petted him for a moment before flinging his arm over his face and covering his eyes. “Ev’ryt’ing’s Jake.”

“Yeah. Um...clearly not.” Jackie looked over at JJ. “Can you go get the—”

Already anticipating what he was going to ask for, JJ walked over to the nearest chair and picked up their first aid kit, coming back over to hand it to Jackie.

“Oh. Thanks.” Jackie took it and started rummaging about inside. “Marv, I’m going to take your temperature, do you mind?”

“A-ha. So it’s a fuckin’...fucking’ check-up I get it...” Marvin trailed off into mumbling under his breath, but didn’t protest as Jackie pulled out the thermometer and took his temperature. After it was done, he rolled over onto his side, practically burying his face in Fluffington’s fur.

Jackie looked down at the thermometer and frowned. 39.2 C...that wasn’t good. Wasn’t good at all. “Marvin? How do you really feel? Like...on the fatigue scale, where would you be?”

Marvin looked back over at him, head rolling lazily. “Hmm...se-seven? Seven and a half?”

“You have a really high fever. Is there anything else, like a headache or something?”

“Well...” Marvin paused to think. His eyes were a bit glazed. “T’ere’s a tickle in my throat. Won’ go ‘way. My nose is all stuffy. Felt a bit sick...sick like...the stomach issues sick. Couldn’ eat anyt’ing ‘cause...bad.”

Jackie glanced over at JJ, hovering nearby. I can second that, JJ said. He didn’t have dinner.

“Alright. It’s probably just a cold,” Jackie said. Yet a note of uncertainty remained in his voice. “A bad one, but you’ll probably be fine.”

So what do we do then? JJ asked.

Jackie hesitated. “Well...” His instincts were telling him not to take any risks, to stay and make sure everything stayed fine. “Given past experiences, is it okay if I spend the night? Just to keep an eye on things.”

“Wha...?” With a fair amount of effort, Marvin sat up. “No, don’ stay over, you’re...you’re prob’ly all busy. Ye jus’ said it was alrigh’.”

“Alright...for now,” Jackie said darkly. “Right now you’re on the edge of ‘a bad cold’ and ‘a serious issue.’ Things could easily get worse in the night, but by tomorrow, it’ll be clear if this is the worst it’ll get or...if there’s more.”

JJ’s expression was filled with anxiety. Is there anything I can do to help?

“Yeah. Get him to take his shirt off.”

Marvin snorted. “Whoa, Jackie, you know Jems and I aren’...aren’ a pair. Not t’at type of pair.”

Jackie rolled his eyes. “Seriously, you need to change your shirt. I know your feelings on short sleeves, but this is making your fever worse.” He turned back to JJ. “Anyway, you know what else. Ibuprofen, water, all that. You already got the fan on, that’s good.”

JJ nodded seriously. Got it. You really want to stay over?

“Well...better safe than sorry, you know? If it starts to go bad, I can recognize it, and we can get him to the hospital really quickly. Is...is it okay?”

Of course it is! You can stay whenever, but especially in this situation. You’re the doctor, after all. JJ smiled gently.

Marvin groaned. “Fffffine, Jackie can stay.”

Jackie smiled a bit at Marvin’s acceptance. But really, him not protesting more was a sign of how bad he felt. At this point, he probably recognized that he needed help, and it wasn’t worth the struggle. “Great. I’ll just have to call Schneep and tell him what’s going on, so he doesn’t get worried when I don’t show up at the flat. But right now, where do you keep the Ibuprofen?”

———————

Marvin and Jameson’s town house didn’t have a guest bedroom, so Jackie had to set up in the living room. Luckily, they did have lots of spare pillows and blankets. But Jackie wasn’t going to sleep right away. He was staying over to keep an eye on things, so that’s what he did. First, by making sure Marvin actually changed clothes into something cooler and more lightweight. Then, by teaming up with JJ to make sure Marvin actually ate dinner. He still didn’t have much of an appetite, but between the two of them, they convinced him that he needed the energy. Oh, and water. He needed lots of water.

In the meantime, Jackie watched some YouTube videos on his phone to pass the time. JJ offered to lend him a book, but Jackie turned him down. He wasn’t in the mood to read, and besides, it would probably take him days to finish with his new work schedule. Every so often, he got up and went into Marvin’s bedroom to check on him. Maybe too often. Marvin quickly got annoyed, though he didn’t have the energy to snap at him.

“Hey, do you need anything?” Jackie asked on perhaps his fifth check-in.

“I need...t’not be so hot,” Marvin replied, a faint note of sarcasm in his voice.

“Do you feel worse?” Jackie asked. “Maybe you need to take off the blanket?”

“No.” Marvin briefly buried his face in the pillow before realizing that he couldn’t breathe like that, not while his nose was all congested. “‘f I take off the...the blanket, then ‘m too cold.”

“Ah. Well, maybe a thinner one, then? Here, lemme take your temperature again.”

Marvin didn’t say anything, just allowed the temperature-taking and the blanket-switching. Then he rolled over and closed his eyes, presumably falling asleep immediately.

JJ bounced between being on his computer, being upstairs in his magic workroom, and checking up on and bringing things to Marvin. He constantly seemed distracted, unable to commit to one course of action. Jackie couldn’t blame him. His best friend was sick, and there was a distinct possibility that he could get worse and would need to go to the hospital. Anyone would wander around, unsure what to do.

One time, JJ came into the living room with his laptop and sat down, writing. “What’re you doing?” Jackie asked.

JJ looked up. Work stuff. A lot of emails, mostly.

“Ugh. Work emails.” Jackie shook his head. “Y’know half the time the emails I get aren’t even relevant to me. It’s like ‘Notice: thing in the operating room’ and I’m like ‘you do know I’m just a GP, right? And for kids, too, right?’ Like, I think I’ve been in the operating room twice.”

JJ chuckled weakly. It’s a bit different for me. I have to coordinate rehearsals and effect supplies, book venues, and generally manage and schedule a bunch of people.

“Really? What about your manager? What’s her name, uhhh...Darla? Doesn’t she do that stuff?”

Sort of. It’s like a joint effort. I’m technically in charge, though, so I at least have to approve everything.

Jackie shook his head. “I could never do that. Too much. How do you manage?”

I was a theatre kid, JJ said, shrugging with a half-smile on his face.

“Does having actual magic help?”

Not really, not with all the organizational stuff. If anything, it can make things more complicated, as I have to figure out a trick that I can use with real magic but cover up with tricks and effects. JJ sighed. I really need this to go well, Jackie. It’s the first show since my voice was damaged, it has to work out.

Jackie smiled at him. He leaned over from his position on the sofa and put a hand on JJ’s shoulder, which he could barely reach as JJ was sitting in a different chair. “You’ll do great. Your shows have always been fantastic, and the voice thing isn’t going to change that.”

JJ smiled a bit. Thanks, Jackie. Glad to know you think so.

“We all do. We belieeeeve in youuuu.”

JJ laughed a bit, and returned to his emails.

Eventually, night came. JJ wrapped up his work and reluctantly headed to bed, not wanting to leave Marvin alone and sick. But Jackie assured him that it would be fine. He would be staying up, and if Marvin wanted to talk to JJ specifically, he could go wake him up. Or Marvin could text him. Mostly reassured, Jameson went upstairs to sleep, leaving Jackie awake in the living room.

Jackie checked on Marvin a couple times more, but found him asleep. Exhausted from all the fatigue he was feeling. Good. If he slept well, he’d probably be better in the morning, and they could all relax when it turned out to be a terrible cold, and nothing more.

Watching YouTube videos eventually got boring, so Jackie decided to plug his phone in to charge and do something else for a bit. As it turned out, Mr. Fluffington was still awake as well. So Jackie found a laser pointer in a table drawer in the living room and played with him for a bit. Until, after a while, Fluffington got tired of the red dot, and even the cat went to bed.

Bored again, Jackie put the laser pointer back. He was considering JJ’s offer of lending a book to read, and was looking over the titles of the ones on the living room bookshelves, when he heard...something. Some sort of distant sound. He paused, going still as he listened.

For a while, nothing happened, and everything was silent. But then, he heard it again. A voice? Someone saying something? Maybe it wasn’t words, but instead just sounds...distressed sounds. After a few moments of listening, Jackie realized with a start that the voice was coming from down the hall. The direction of Marvin’s room.

Something must have been wrong. Immediately, Jackie unplugged his phone and pocketed it—just in case—and headed down the hall, half-running. He reached Marvin’s door soon, finding it closed. He didn’t hesitate to open it and step inside. “Marvin?! Is everything okay?”

The room was dark again, pitch black in the night. The fan was off. Strange, it was on last time Jackie was in here. Had Marvin woken up and turned it off? That didn’t matter. He could clearly hear Marvin, crying out and whimpering. Jackie flicked the light switch on and walked over. “Marvin? What’s wrong?”

Marvin didn’t answer, just kept mumbling and crying, sounding frantic. Then, Jackie noticed his eyes were closed. Ah. So he was asleep. Having a nightmare. And a bad one, by the looks of it. His blankets and even his shirt were all twisted around him, which only upset him more, as he seemed to be trying to fight against them. Jackie reached out and put a hand on his head, then immediately pulled it away. He was so hot, the fever burning him up. Jackie turned the fan on and checked the bedside nightstand for anything else. There was a half-empty glass of water and a damp cloth. That would work.

He picked up the damp cloth and tried to put it on Marvin’s head. But Marvin cried out and yanked his head away, shouting...something. Jackie couldn’t quite catch it, but he thought he heard ‘go away’ and ‘don’t want your help.’ “Marvin, it’s me. I-I want to—can you wake up? Wake up, it’s fine.” He reached out to try and untangle the blankets.

That turned out to be the wrong thing to do. Marvin started flailing wildly, tossing, turning, kicking, waving. The blankets restricted his movement, but it was still enough to make him roll off the opposite side of the bed. “Marvin!” Jackie leaned over the bed. “God damn it. I’ll get you, don’t worry.”

As he walked around to the other side, he stopped for a moment. The edge of the blankets were tucked into the gap between the mattress and the footboard. Jackie pulled them out, letting the blankets go free. That made them somewhat less restrictive, but it also meant that Marvin, still moving and struggling, ended up wrapping them loosely around his legs. Which...actually probably didn’t help in the long run. Well, too late now. Jackie knelt down on the ground next to Marvin. “Hey, calm down, it’s fine,” he said, trying to sound soothing as he went about untangling the blankets around him.

It took longer than he expected. Marvin kept wriggling and flailing, but still had his eyes firmly shut as he remained asleep. Jackie tried to wake him up, but to no avail. And he kept muttering the whole time, occasionally whimpering or crying out as if in pain. His words ran together, slurred by sleep-talking, but some distinct phrases popped up: “Get away!” “Don’t you dare...” “Leave me alone!” “...don’t want it.” “Don’t want you.” It hurt Jackie’s heart to hear. Was it the fever causing this nightmare? Or something more?

After a good few minutes, he freed the blankets, leaving them on the floor as he tried to pick up Marvin. Again, the struggling made this difficult. Marvin actively tried to push him away at times...though that mostly turned into him weakly slapping Jackie’s face and arms. But Jackie was determined, and managed to get Marvin back on top of the mattress. Once there, Marvin gave up and went limp, lying there still. Jackie sighed in relief and pressed his hand to his head. Still hot, and his pale skin was damp with sweat. He should wake him up soon, get him to drink some water to replace what he lost with all the sweat. But first, he picked up the damp rag again, using some of the water from the glass to wet it more and make it cooler. He laid the cloth across Marvin’s forehead.

The moment he did, something...unusual started to happen. Marvin whimpered, turned his head to the side, and started to cry. Tears leaked from his eyes as he quietly sobbed and continued to mumble something. The words had changed. Now, Jackie could hear a lot of “No” and “Please don’t” over and over and over. As he listened, stunned, these were broken up by adding “I’m sorry” and “I’ll be good” to the mix, which only shocked him further.

“God. Marvin,” he whispered to himself. No more waiting, he had to wake him up now. He couldn’t handle the thought of leaving him to whatever horrible nightmare he was having. “Marvin, wake up. It’s me, it’s Jackie.” He leaned over and started shaking him. Gently at first, then gradually harder as that failed to wake him up. His voice slowly raised. “Marvin. Marvin! This is Jackie. You need to wake up!”

After what felt like ages, Marvin stopped mumbling. He groaned, and slowly opened his eyes, staring up at Jackie. At first, confused. Then slowly getting his bearings. He reached up and weakly grabbed at the damp cloth on his forehead until he managed to take it off. Then he tried to sit up, but gave up once the fatigue proved too heavy. “Whoa...” he muttered. “I...where...? When...?”

“You’re in your room. In the house you live in with Jameson,” Jackie explained patiently. “It’s...” He checked the time on his phone. “Ha, it’s midnight on the dot.”

“What...?” Marvin swallowed dryly. “What’s the date?”

“December 10th.”

“...the year?”

“2018.”

“Right.” Marvin nodded a bit, then stopped, looking a bit dizzy. Once again, he tried to sit up, and this time Jackie helped him prop himself against the headboard. “D’you...have any water?”

“Yeah.” Jackie grabbed the water glass and offered it to him. Marvin grasped it weakly, and Jackie only let go once he was sure he could hold it securely. 

Immediately, Marvin lifted the glass to his mouth and drank, draining the glass. “Th’nk you,” he said, handing it back.

“No problem,” Jackie said, taking it. “I can go get more, if you want. Colder, too.”

Marvin took a deep breath, looking unsure. Actually, he looked more than unsure. He looked...shaken.

“You were...having a bad dream,” Jackie said gently. “I-I could hear you making noise, talking and...shouting and...and crying. So I came to check on you. You were rolling around and fell off at one point, but now you’re awake. A-and you’re alright. You’re safe.”

Marvin stared at him for a while, then looked away and closed his eyes, taking another deep breath. Then, strangely...he laughed. “Bad dream,” he repeated. “‘Tis always a bad dream. T’at’s...only time I remember. Which ‘s...strange...isn’ it? T’at’s not how mem’ry works.”

“Remember?” Jackie blinked. “Remember what?”

A pause. Marvin opened his eyes, but didn’t look directly at Jackie. “If y’coul’...go get water I’d…’preciate it.”

“Do you mean...the time you were with him?” Jackie asked softly.

Marvin stiffened. “How’d you...?”

“How did I guess? I just...” Jackie looked down at his hands. He traced the scars on his wrists and shrugged. “It sounded...familiar.”

The silence that followed stretched on. Jackie was worried he’d overstepped some boundary and was about to leave, when Marvin pulled his knees up and gestured to the end of the bed, now clear without his legs there. “Sit down.”

Jackie sat. “Did I—do you not want to talk about it?”

“You...you r’member, righ’?” Marvin asked. “What happened...when you were with him?”

“Of course. I-I-I couldn’t forget.” Jackie laughed humorlessly. “It’s actually a problem, so much reminds me of it. I had to make Volt throw out his zip-ties, and put away his knives and half his cleaning stuff when I moved in with him, since just looking at them freaked me out. I mean, he’s taken them out again now. ‘Cause it’s a bit better. But I can’t...can’t go home, or into any house that’s even a bit similar to that place, can’t spend too much time inside...” He trailed off. “You...don’t remember anything?”

Marvin hummed, leaning his head back against the wall. “‘T’s strange for me. I don’...I don’ remember how I got here. To the...the ‘when,’ I mean. But I...I’m startin’ t t’ink that...he’s the reason for that.”

“Like...he brought you to the present?” Jackie asked.

“No.” Marvin shook his head a bit, but gave up, wincing a bit. Jackie guessed a headache or something that made the motion worse. “I don’ t’ink he coul’ do t’at. It...it doesn’ really fit him, or...or what he can do. Y’know? But...after I got here, however t’at happened, I...I t’ink I ran into him. A-an’ he decided someone so confused woul’ be an easy target.” He paused for a moment, just breathing. Jackie waited patiently. “I didn’...didn’ r’member any of t’is at first. I forgot ev’ryt’ing between bein’ home, and meeting Jems. But...when I go to sleep, I remember. In my dreams.”

“Well...that can happen sometimes,” Jackie said slowly. “Your brain can block out upsetting stuff. And having nightmares about what happened to you is a common trauma response. At least, that’s what I’ve been told.”

“No, no, I know t’at, but it’s...diff’rent for me,” Marvin insisted. “It’s all...too clear. Like it’s happenin’ for the first time. And...I know the dreams r’lly happened, because...I have scars...that match up.”

At that, Jackie glanced down at Marvin’s arms. He’d noticed the scars before, but hadn’t really thought too much about them. Maybe that said something about him as a friend. Or maybe he just didn’t want to pry. But they definitely existed. Most of them were short lines, probably caused by something sharp, but there were also a few burn scars on Marvin’s upper arms. They were all usually covered by his shirt. Jackie suddenly made a connection. “Is that why you always wear long sleeves?”

“Don’ t’ink so,” Marvin mumbled. “Everyt’ing I say, about proper dress and wantin’ t’keep to a routine and not wantin’ any random people grabbin’ my arm...that’s all true. But...maybe it is a reason, but I jus’ don’ realize it. Is that why you wear your jacket all the time now?”

“Hmm.” Jackie tugged at the cuffs of his hoodie. “No. I mean, it’s related. I just...” He paused, getting his thoughts together. “I didn’t have this while I was with him. I-I left it behind. Or...he did, when he showed up. So it’s just...a reminder that it’s all safe now.”

“Reminder,” Marvin repeated, and nodded, once. 

Jackie let out a long exhale. It was really easy to talk to Marvin about all this. He’d had to work up to sharing details like this with his therapist, but now, he was letting them spill. It must have been because he knew Marvin would understand. “I guess if you don’t remember anything, you don’t need a reminder. Right? Ha. I-I wish I didn’t remember.”

Marvin pressed a hand to his head, as if he could feel the empty spots where the missing memories were supposed to be. “I don’ know. I think...I think I’d rather jus’ know. Because...he must’ve done it. He must’ve made me forget. But...why? For what? What’s the purpose? Is there...somet’ing I still don’ know? T’at he wanted to keep secret?”

“Huh. I...didn’t think of that.” Jackie frowned. “You’re right.”

“T’ere’s a lot missing. I’ve dreamt about how...about how we met, but how’d I get out? I dreamt him takin’ my set of playin’ cards, but...why do I feel...they were so important? More t’an just bein’ mine, I mean. And what...what did I do?” Marvin said that last part in a hushed tone.

Jackie stared at him. Then he stood, took a few steps closer to Marvin, and sat back down on the bed, now next to Marvin. He leaned against the headboard instead of sitting on the edge, so the two of them were mirroring each other, side by side. It wasn’t particularly comfortable. The bed was narrow, so he had to sit very close to Marvin, still burning with fever. But...he wanted to. And Marvin didn’t protest. “If you did anything, it wasn’t your fault,” Jackie said softly. “You can’t...do anything in that state.”

Marvin rubbed his eyes. They were starting to water. “You...know?”

Jackie nodded silently.

Taking a shaky breath, Marvin asked, “What...h-how bad...were the things he...made you...?”

After a long moment, Jackie replied. “No one died. But...some were hurt. I think...if I stayed there any longer, it would’ve gotten worse.” He had to stop for a moment. He’d...never told anyone about that. “But it’s...it’s not our fault. It’s Distorter’s. We called him that because he distorts thought, a-and that’s exactly what he did. We aren’t those thoughts he put there, o-or the actions he caused.”

Marvin couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. He buried his face in his hands, but Jackie caught a glimpse of them flowing before he could hide them entirely. “I jus’...wish I coul’ remember.” A sob caught in this throat. “I remember feelin’ horrible, I remember screamin’ at him for what he made me do, I remember tryin’ to fight against it...but I don’ remember what I did. I t’ink...I might dream the memory one day. A-an’ I...don’ know...how I’ll react.”

Jackie leaned against him. Reaching up, he took Marvin’s wrist and slowly pulled his hand away from his face, revealing the tear stains and bloodshot eyes. “We aren’t those thoughts,” he repeated, quietly, but firmly. “Those actions weren’t us.”

Marvin stared at him. Then nodded. He looked away. “Will you...stay? For a while?”

“Of course.”

The two of them sat in silence for a long while, the night stretched before them.

——————— 

The next morning, Jackie woke up to the familiar sounds of someone making breakfast. He opened his eyes and sat up, wincing a bit at the ache in his side and neck. The sofa was clearly designed for sitting, not sleeping. He stretched to try and make it better, then stood and went into the kitchen.

JJ was the one cooking. He waved at Jackie, then asked him for help carrying food to Marvin, still in bed. Jackie agreed and the two of them went down the hall.

Marvin was awake. Sitting up, in fact, with Fluffington in his lap. He thanked the two of them for breakfast. While he ate, Jackie gave him a quick check-up, taking his temperature and asking him basic questions. The fever had distinctly died down, and Marvin reported that he felt really tired, but not nauseous, and he could breathe easier. Jackie and JJ were both immediately relieved.

“So it’s just a cold, then,” Jackie concluded, relaxing for the first time in a full day. “Sorry about all the trouble, you two.”

“Eh, better safe t’an sorry, right?” Marvin shrugged. “And ‘t was...nice to have you over.”

Jackie gave him a gentle smile. Then he said, “I’ll be going now, then. It was nice to be over, too. Though sleeping on the sofa kind of sucked.”

Well you’re wearing jeans, JJ pointed out.

“That’s not a problem, I sleep in jeans a lot.”

What?! JJ gasped, looking personally offended. Jackie, you didn’t tell me you were absolutely out of your mind! How can that be comfortable?!

Jackie laughed. “You get used to it.”

“No, ‘m with Jems on t’is one,” Marvin said, his words slightly muffled as he was speaking into his cup of apple juice.

“I used to take long night shifts at the hospital years ago, and I was so tired that I didn’t even bother to get into pajamas when I got home,” Jackie defended himself. “I mean, I don’t have night shifts anymore, but that’s still a leftover quirk.”

Marvin rolled his eyes. “Didn’ ye say you had to go?”

“Yeah, I told Volt I’d be back in the morning before he went to work at ten. I’ll tell him how you’re doing, by the way. Anti, too.”

“T’anks.” Marvin looked at him. “For...ev’ryt’ing. Be seein’ you.”

“Be seeing you,” Jackie repeated. “And thank you. Goodbye.”

JJ looked confused. He followed Jackie as he headed down the hall to the front door. Before he could leave, he asked, Did something happen?

“Oh. Uhh we had a talk last night,” Jackie said. “About some...serious stuff.”

Ah. I won’t pry, then, JJ said, backing off. Hey, Jackie. Thanks for coming over and staying and everything. I hope it wasn’t an inconvenience.

“It’s never an inconvenience to help a friend. Or, you know, even if there wasn’t a problem, I’d be happy to stay over any time.” Jackie laughed a bit. “Just gotta prepare a bit better next time. Get an air mattress.”

JJ smiled. Still, thank you. It...it really means a lot, you know? I’m sure Marvin’s glad you stop by to check on him when he’s sick, even when he protests. But remember to take care of yourself too, you know?

Jackie nodded. “Thanks, J. I will. But you have to remember that, too. I know you’re busy with your show and now Marvin’s sick and everything, but keep your stress levels down. You worry a lot about everyone else. Might spread yourself too thin.”

JJ sighed. It...has happened before. I’ll try.

“No, you won’t try. You will take care of yourself. Or let Marvin or one of us do it.”

Alright, I get the point, JJ smiled a bit. Hey, by the way, the show starts in January. Opening night is New Year’s Day, actually. You and Henrik and Anti can come see it for free, if you want. The families, too.

“I’ll keep it in mind,” Jackie said cheerfully. Rama and Michelle would probably like that. “I’ll see you later, then?”

See you later. Bye, Jackie.

“Bye, JJ.”

Jackie headed out, hurrying to his car, still parked where he left it last night. A few loose snowflakes started to fall from the sky as he climbed inside and turned on the heater. 

That was...a night. An unexpected one, but...one he needed. He reflected on it as he started to drive away. Then, he took the turn that would take him to Rama and Michelle’s house—his house. There was still time before he said he’d be back at Schneep’s apartment. He wanted to be with his family again.