#this is why i deleted my bio on description lol
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∑(; °Д°) An Intro Post⁉️
Kinda crazy that I haven’t made an intro post for fucking months but whatevs
➶ ❁۪ 。˚ ✧ About Me ✧ ˚。 ۪❁ ➶
Hi, I’m Cassandra! I’m a cis female and use she/her. I’m Canadian and my ethnicity is Indigenous Filipina. 🇨🇦🇵🇭 ദ്ദി(。•̀ ,<)~✩‧₊
➶ ❁۪ 。˚ ✧ My Interests ✧ ˚。 ۪❁ ➶
I’m VERY obsessed with Punch-Out!! for 2 years. My fav boxer is Piston Hondo. I loved him as a joke, but I don’t think it was a joke no more… whoopsie. I was obsessed with Tezuka Star System, DHMIS, Killer Bean, ACNH, Miitopia, Tomodachi Life, Sumikko Gurashi, Parappa the Rapper and other underrated shits. I may be obsessed with these again, but who knows. I’m in love with my childhood stuff, idkw. I also love listening to bands and doodling. (◡ ◉‿◉)っ✐ᝰ
➶ ❁۪ 。˚✧ DNI ✧ ˚。 ۪❁ ➶
Get the fuck away from me if you guys are…
Proshitters
MAPs
Disgusting illegal nsfw artists/weirdos
Easily making me annoyed/infuriated
Very judgemental
Obsessed with something that isn’t okay/makes me feel uncomfortable or sick
What I mean by illegal nsfw artists are basically ugly weirdos that sexualize minors, fetish, and other problematic shits.
I absolutely hate the fact Little Mac has the most nsfw arts in Punch-Out!! He’s 17, meaning he’s a LITERAL CHILD. Fuck off, horrible weirdos in Super Smash Bro’s and Punch-Out!! fandom. 凸ಠ益ಠ)凸
➶ ❁۪ 。˚✧ Abt My Blog ✧ ˚。 ۪❁ ➶
This is my main and art acc! I have this account for a year now, wowie. I don’t post daily cuz I’m in high-school now and super busy there. (Yey for me) Also, I actually lost multiple accounts on Tumblr hehe, all of them are 2 year olds damn.
Feel free to request doodles or ask me! I would be delighted! But might reply very late cuz you know. Won’t do HCs tho, super srry.
I’ve always wanted to post shits and be popular on Tumblr since I joined Punch-Out!! fandom in July 2022. But I didn’t have the confidence to do it because I was scared of being judged (still am) and always got super anxious whenever I did. But now, I’m fully comfortable of posting cuz you guys are so nice here! And I wanna say thank you guys so much for giving me the confident to post more!! ٩(^ᗜ^ )و ´-
#blog intro#intro post#pinoy pride#punch out#punch out wii#punch out!!#piston hondo#nirvana#kurt cobain#this is why i deleted my bio on description lol#and made this to celebrate 1 year ann of having this acc
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Butterfly's Rainbow
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Warnings
Mostly fluff and simple, because my brain juice has expired and has yet to refill
A bit of insulting towards reader lol
Probably inaccurate facts about plants and animals
Why I don't write about descriptions about sceneries and backgrounds part 1
Bless you Zachary Gordon
Idk how forest rangers work
Ooc characters
A/N: Putting this here, I ran out of date scenarios and ended up going with a normal picnic like date for Nari. Of course, I tried to at least spice it up a little.
There's one part that's gonna be VERY unrealistic, if you're one of those super picky readers that prefer realistic ones over fantasy ones, this isn't for you. I'm not a science, bio or chem expert, I just write these for fun and do some minimum researching, not making a whole science documentary.
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He's glad you chose him, honestly. He thinks that you and him are practically made for eachother.
Gorou, being the absolute good boy he is, was not hurt whatsoever. Maybe a little sting to the heart, but he can take it. He gave Tighnari a firm handshake and congratulated him for getting chosen, he's sure Tighnari will be an amazing boyfriend for you.
Razor, on the other hand, got his ego hurt a little. You must've chosen him because he's the smartest out of the four, but also probably because he has physical canine traits that he unfortunately didn't inherite. You comforted him, of course, you would've picked him had you not had a romantic interest towards Tighnari.
Cyno began lecturing Tighnari on 'How to be a good boyfriend', partially to sneak in many jokes and to annoy the half-canine student. In return, Tighnari quickly ushered you out of the area, so Cyno wouldn't end up making you feel second-hand embarrassment.
He has already planned a date for the two of you to a nearby forest, saying it would be closed off especially for the two of you. He works part-time as a forest ranger, allowing him to reserve parts of the forest for just you and him.
He drove you there, allowing you to meet his young apprentice; Collei. Immediately, you felt like a big sinling to the young girl, who was shyly hiding behind the counter. It wasn't until Tighnari introduced you to her as you politely waved at her, giving her a soft smile as to not scare her.
That initial shyness turned into bubbling excitement, coming out from her comfort zone of the counter and running over to you, akin to a little puppy joyfully rushing over to it's owner who called it's name.
You were then bombarded with tons of questions regarding her 'Master'; "What was master like in college?" "How did you two meet?" "Is master the top student?"
Tighnari chuckled as he prepared a little picnic basket for the two of you while you try your best to awnser all of her questions. It wasn't until you started showing her some embarrassing pictures of Tighnari you managed to snap during some event that he began to grow flustered.
He frantically dragged you away, silently berating you and begging you to delete those pictures of him getting tangled up in ropes and food getting stuck in his tail. Those are stories for another day, you explained to Collei.
Walking along the trail, the two of you proceeded to chat. The trees had shielded you from the sun, only a few beams of sunlight peeking between the leaves.
As Tighnari was rambling about problems with his white haired roommate, you felt a sting on your skin, your hand quickly reaching to slap the area. Unfortunately, you catch a glimpse of something small and black quickly dodging your hand, hovering around you for more of your blood.
Hearing you click and trying to subtly wave your hand to scare away the bug, he digs into his pocket and hands you a small circular plastic container. "Here, lather a small bit of the cream on your skin, it'll keep the mosquitoes away."
You thanked the male and spreaded the cooling subtance over your skin, the surface of your skin now glistening under the sunlight. "I thought it'd be quicker to take a detour here so we can make it to our destination. Though, there seems to be way more mosquitoes than normal, it might be their mating season.... I'm... uh, sorry about that." He apologised sheepishly, ears drooping downwards.
"That's alright. It's a detour, right? Then, we can get out of the area quicker. Plus, you came prepared." You reassured, noticing his large tail subtly swaying back and forth in content.
"Of course, being in a forest is already dangerous enough. I'm sure you're already aware of this, but there are a lot things that could kill— or even infect us... If you didn't, you wouldn't even graduate High school in the first place." He stated, in a half-joking and half-serious manner.
You chuckled at the last part, causing the male to grin triumphantly. "I wouldn't even make it pass elementary school... Wait, is there anything here other than poisonous plants that could kill us?..." You asked, a little worriedly.
He slips a hand underneath yours, giving you a gentle, yet, reassuring squeeze. "There actually is. But don't worry, the path we're taking won't lead us anywhere near any of the dangerous parts. If anything, just don't touch any bright coloured berries or sharp leaves."
You chuckled, continuing to trudge the dirt path while holding his hand— which was an odd feeling, almost natural when you weren't too focused about the touch of his hand.
Time felt like it flew by too fast, and before you know it— You've reached your destination.
"Ah, here we are... Welcome to what I like to call; Butterfly Spring." He introduced, gesturing to the sight in front of him.
The sight was breathtakingly gorgeous and serene. The golden sun shining brightly on the crystal clear lake's surface, moved by the running water that came from the small waterfall.
School of fishes swam around, under the lily pads and aquatic flowers, while a bale of turtles basked underneath the sun in tranquility. A kaleidoscope of butterflies fluttered around you, greeting you their wings that displayed a variety of colour and patterns.
"Butterfly Spring is one of my personal favorites... It's well known as a Butterfly mating ground, and a safe haven for small critters like Rabbits or Turtles since there's no predators nearby. See that tree over there?" He asked, pointing at a large Oak Tree. You can clearly see something being hung from the leaves. "Follow me."
The two of you walked over, with you getting distracted by the many adorable wildlife that happened to stumble on your path, including a colony of rabbits.
Tighnari sighed as you started petting a bunny, his hand reaching into his pocket to pull out his phone, quickly snapping a picture of you surrounded by rabbits.
"Wallpaper material..." He muttered, grinning slyly at the picture before stuffing his phone back into his pocket. He unintentionally scared away colony, only to remember his fox like features might've frightened them. "My bad... But, let's move one. I want you to see this when it happens."
You took his hand, with him leading you to the tree. Up close, you noticed a chrysalis hanging underneath the tree branches. And there was not only one, but hundreds of them.
"I'm not sure how or why the caterpillars prefer to undergo the transformation phase here, but trust me when I say; It'll be worth the wait." He reassured with a wink. "C'mon, let's have a bite in the meantime."
He hands you [favorite pastry], to which you happily took. "Mind if I ask... wh-why did you choose me as your valentines date?..." You meekly asked, the small pastry barely hiding the lower part of your flushed face.
"Ah, well... Isn't it obvious? I could write a whole book about it." He took his phone out, showing you the picture of yourself being surrounded by the rabbits earlier, the golden beam of the sun framing your gentle smile.
Your face grew hot, pushing away his phone in embarrasment. "For one thing, you're absolutely breathtaking." He complimented, his voice lacking the usual sarcastic tone you would hear. "For another, you've certainly passed way beyong my expectations for you."
Not a single bite taken from your food and you already shot him a puzzeled expression (Or in this case— a glare). "Pardon?"
The half-canine didn't stutter over his words, nor flinch at your icy-cold expression. Instead, he only chuckled. "Please don't take it the wrong way. Be honest now, first impressions are always about appearances. They say 'Don't judge a book by it's cover', but we always end up doing that anyways. You look rather average so I expected you to be someone pretty boring... but now, I regret making that statement."
You choked on your own spit, refusing to lock eyes with him as you looked. "I-I'll let it slide just this once." You stammered out, taking a bite out of the pastry in your hands.
"Well, you asked why i'm interested in you. Ask and you shall receive." He quipped, his large bushy tail swaying around slowly. "Besides... I want you to be more than just my lab partner. I want us to be much more than that."
He laid a hand on top of yours, his smile shy but genuine, you rarely got to see him like this. "So... that's why I saw this as the perfect opportunity to tell you—" He slipped his hand underneath yours, placing his other hand on top and stared at you, eyes holding nothing but adoration towards you. "—I love you."
Your cheeks grew hot, words stuck in your throat as you thought of a comprehensible reply to his confession. "You don't have to return my feelings... I just needed to get that off my chest." He reassured with a crooked smile, but you could see the pain in his eyes at the thought.
"I-I do!" You randomly blurted out, his ears standing erect in puzzlement. "I-I mean... Tighnari, of course I feel the same... I-I love you too." You stammered out, scratching the back of your neck sheepishly.
"You love me too, huh?... And to think this day couldn't get any better." He smiled, eyes glancing over at the tree before scooting closer to your side. You didn't move away, much to his relief. "Well, now that I think about it... maybe it could. Take a look, [Name]."
He gestured to the oak tree, your head turning to see the many chrysalis hanging on the leaves began to shake. You could already see many colourful wings squriming out, their wings expanding to show a variety of patterns.
You glanced at him in confusion, but he only replies with a smile before turning his attention back at the tree. You admit, seeing a healthy butterfly emerge from their chrysalis is something beautiful, but you weren't sure what's so special about—
"It seems like most of them have sucessfully transformed into a butterfly... i'm sure the rest will join them later. Now comes the best part, I hope you'll pay attention to this more than you pay attention in [Hated major]." He teased, earning himself a gentle punch to the shoulder and a laugh from you.
You gazed at the tree in anticipation, and it didn't take long before you realized they were preparing to take off.
This whole date felt like a fairytail to you, and it almost felt unreal when you watched as all the butterflies flew off into the air at once, nearly blocking the sun from your view.
The sun shone through their wings, creating a spectrum of colours that formed a rainbow as they fluttered by you. "Tighnari..." You breathed, unable to tear your eyes off the phenomenon.
"Incredible, isn't it? I named this the 'Butterfly's Rainbow'... Not exactly the brightest name, but eh. When I saw this for the first time, I thought of you immediately." He explained, your eyes that reflected the rainbow met his own. "You've made me see the most prettiest things in life, and that includes you."
"Did you prepare that corny line just for me?" You giggled softly, to which he only rolled his eyes playfully.
"Well, I live with a dude who makes corny jokes, I might've learned a thing or two from him... But this is my gift for you." He spoke softly as to not disturb you to, wrapping an arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer to him. "Happy valentines day, [Name]."
You rested your head against his shoulder, his fluffy tail wrapped around your waist as you sighed in tranquility. "Thank you, Tighnari. This is the best gift anyone has ever given to me. Happy valentines day."
There you both sat, resting on eachother in silence, basking im eachother's company as you watched the butterflies in the sky. Perhaps the relationship that bloomed between the two of you could rival the 'Butterfly's Rainbow'.
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A/N: Havdisbxisi I'm sorry I rushed this, I genuinely didn't know how to make this more interesting and decided to cheese my way through it ;-; I'll make a better Tighnari × Reader Oneshot in the future (I hope)
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What if...
You chose someone else?
#genshin#genshin impact#genshin impact x reader#genshin oneshots#genshin impact tighnari#genshin tighnari#genshin tighnari x reader
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Originally posted on previous reblog and then edited out bc I feel like I should have it on my own profile.
10 years ago or so (just turned 30 in sept), I've found a fic in a word doc, nameless. When I read it it was super familiar, and I could've easly forgotten I wrote it. Still, I "corrected some errors" posted it on ffnet, and said in the descrption: I found this on my docs. If its anyones, let me know. I love your wtiting. Or something of the sort. (Already mistake n°1) That was uploaded for like a year. Then I figured after no one recclamied it that was actually something I wrote. Like a dumbass I deleted that description and lo and behold, someone came 1) saying a was a a son of a bitch for stealing someone's work and 2) the actual author.
Ofc I was super embarrased and ashamed. I profusely apologized, took the fic down inmediatly and apologized again. I also made a statement in my bio and said everything that happened, apologizing again.
I think about this still bc I still feel bad. As an actual writer myself, something like this happeining to me would wreck me. The autor was super nice and I truly hope they've forgiven me for it.
They said something, I remember, that really hurt me even, lol, and that is "check if some other of your works are not someone else's and you upload them by mistake as well".
Gosh. It felt awfwl. Bc ofc they would make that assumption. That was the only and last time I would ever do that, but they had no real way of knowing that.. it still stings a bit.
After that ofc I never saved anymore fics in random word docs. But what I'm trying to say is that what JS and these other "creators" do is very different from these stupid, shitty mistakes that can still happen. We are small creators. I never was nor am a famous fic write,nor want to ever be tbh. I write bc i cant help it. Bc even with everything, i love it. I put a lot of effort and time into it (when i'm able to sit down and do it, i mean). Thats why I still feel like shit. Thats why i'm saying all this. This is something that i did and if i could, I would still be apologizing to the author.
JS and the others... dont. They dont care. They feel as if all this is an attack TO them. Its insane and horrible. They have no remorse for these other creators without a popular platform like theirs, who's works they're citing verbatim. That its truly mean and intentional.
If the author reads this by chance, I'm sorry. Hope you're still writing. ♡♡
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Updated pinned for a new year
Hello once again who ever is reading this.
Thought would update this/ make a new one for 2022, and also cause my last one is over a year old lol.
This blog was started so I could keep my exo + spicy stuff off my main (mainly cause people I know irl follow me and I’m actually shy about this shit in person despite what this blog gives the impression of lol). Theres occasionally not so spicy things + ranting that I don’t want irl friends to see but thats p rare atm.
Blog is run on a queue cause my drive is unstable as shit (cause of meds + brain-weirdness + T) so is rare for there to be no new posts unless it runs out (very rare cause I usually max the queue every couple of months).
Now preamble is done, actual info time.
As I said in my blog description, I’m a trans mlm 24 year old.
Blog mainly focuses on exo and mlm (specifically trans mlm) content.
Usual dni applies (aka I will block on sight) : minors/ageless blogs / TERFs/Truscum/ transmedicalists/ transmisogynist/ (basically transphobes in general) /homophobes/ general lgbtphobes/ SWERFs / pedophiles / racists or NAZIS / etc. But also no misgendering / detransistion blogs, DDLG/LB, age play or anything similar, people solely attracted to women (I am a gay man, this is the focus of the blog why are you here?) / incest fetishists
Note: If you don’t have your age in your bio / pinned post on the blog you follow/ like / reblog from I will block you
I will tag stuff if people want it tagged, just shoot me an ask. That said I’m shit at social interaction so sorry if I don’t respond very well.
If I reblog something that you as the op want me to delete am happy to just send me an ask / message, same goes for stolen/unsourced shit (I try to check but in case I miss something).
I will occasionally reblog manga/etc. caps, when I do I try to check that the content doesn’t feature content from my hard nos (found here) and if I later find they do, I’ll usually delete the rb but just in case this is the warning and am sorry in advance.
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My Ultimate Reading List v2.0 Fics
A/N: As some of you have heard or seen, My Ultimate Reading List (in it’s original version) has crashed on desktop because of (as I realised trying to restore it) too big number of links, so I’m basically recreating the whole thing in a new format. This post goes for One Shots and Serieses. There’s one more post for Blurbs. I’m really sorry for the tag notifs for the people who has been tagged already in a previous version. Hope it’s not much of an inconvenience. I’m also not going to delete the first version of the list, as it’s been liked and reposted a lot of times, it’s still working on mobile, so some might still use it. But all the updates are going to happen only on this post, which I’m going to put in my bio instead of an old one.
So, this list was created because of my crazy urge to reread favourite fics and blurbs from time to time. It was made purely for me, but if it helps you to find a fic or a writer you’d love, I’d be only happy. I tried to make navigation easy. For blurbs links go to my reblogs, for oneshots and full lengths links go to the original posts. I try to check links from time to time, but if you see that some of them don’t work, please, hmu.
* stands for the implied smut
*** stands for the pure smut
This list is far from finished, that’s just the first things that came to mind and/or were reblogged. Still have a ton to add. So will update it every now and then.
NOTE, pls: There’s no Michael content here! And that’s not because I don’t like him or don’t appreciate him enough. I guess, it’s quite the opposite tbh. There’s no Michael content here because I appreciate him too much. I love this cute little kitten, he’s the most precious soul and, most of the time I think, there would be no 5sos without Michael Gordon Clifford. I just don’t have any fantasies or images of him in me, don’t see him in any way romantically. That’s why I don’t read (or write for that matter) about him as main character. I understand, that I miss a whole lotta great authors and fics because of that. Maybe it’ll change in the future. But for now, it is what it is.
Also HUGE SHOUT OUT TO THE PEOPLE WHOSE WRITING IS ON THE LIST - THANK YOU FOR THIS! THESE FICS AND BLURBS BELOW HAVE REALLY GIVEN ME ALL TYPES OF FEELS, INSPIRATION, MOTIVATION AND CONTENT. I’M FOREVER GRATEFUL FOR THESE WONDERFUL GIFTS YOU GAVE TO ALL OF US.
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, WONDERFUL PEOPLE! ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU!
Oneshots
Ashton
Heartbeat by @gigglyirwin [Classic fluff and one of my all time faves]
Our Shining Star [Dad!Ashton] by @myloverboyash [Special thank you to @lashtoncurls for the tracking down the runaway author lol]
Blindfold*** by @cal-puddies [Cashton smut which is too hot for this world]
Ain’t nobody got a drummer like mine*** by @myloverboyash [Drumming and banging 👀 at the drum kit]
I Can Love You In The Shower*** by @myloverboyash [Cute giggly shower sex with a little bit of trauma]
Will We Always Be Pretending*** by @myloverboyash [Bff to lovers AND fake dating in one fic, what else could you wish for???]
Wherever You Are*** by @myloverboyash [childhood best friends to lovers]
Let Me Be The One To Save You pt 1 and pt 2 by @myloverboyash [prince!Ashton Au by which I am intrigued and I AM WAITING PATIENTLY, SKYLER, LOL]
Noticed Nights by @calpops [Artist!Ash and another masterpiece by Eve]
Calum
The Little Spoon by @gigglyirwin [Classic fluff]
Valentine’s Day*** by @angelbabylu
Lucky Shot In Paradise*** by @cakesunflower [Bartender!Cal]
Heartbeat by @uncrownedqueeen [Dad!Cal]
All These Years by @felicitycal
Blindfold*** by @cal-puddies [Cashton smut which is too hot for this world]
No chemistry*** by @novacxlum [Heartbreakingly great college enemies to lovers]
Where were you in the morning?* by @snapbackcake [If this ultimately truthful but sad af one won’t make you cry, consider asking for help, because it’s too sad but also beautiful as hell]
Let me good to you*** by @snapbackcake [The description says it’s 6.8k words of absolute filth, and I have nothing else to add besides of what a great filth it is, so, 18+ kids]
Road Trip: Cake*** by @softforcal [Er, Cake threesome, idek what to say here]
Redamancy by @cakesunflower [Heart wrecking fluff]
Birthday Getaway by @etherealhood [Cuteness and romance overload]
Ghost of you by @myloverboyash [Super angst, prepare to cry your eyeballs out, and i’m still in my feels, Skyler, how could you???]
Picture this by @currentlyupcalsass [One of the best college au’s ever]
Best Friend’s Brother*** by @lukescaboose [Nerdy Cal and soft smut]
Another Ride*** by @babyloontrash [Another Cal smut which is like, really hot]
The Course of True Love Never Did Run Smooth*** by @i-calumhood [Wonderful enemies to fuck buddies to lovers with an asshole college!Cal]
Ice*** by @morningfears [Super hot enemies to lovers with hockey player Cal aka an ultimate dream]
Ka Hopena by @wildflowergrae [Soulmate AU, surfing and Hawaii, what else can you ask for?]
We Got That Good Love*** by @myloverboyash [Sex in the shower and like wet Calum)]
Balloon*** by @currentlyupcalsass [one of the most precious things I have ever read in my entire live! realisation of love to Calum of mc and absolute happiness for you]
First Concert by @ukulelecal [dad!Cal and kids visiting 5sos concert]
Eleven*** by @babyloontrash [fwb with breakfast]
Luke
Boyfriend’s little brother*** by @lukehemmingssmut [There was also a second part promised, sooooo ^.^]
Fuck me like you hate me*** by @myloverboyash
Baby*** by @lukescaboose [Sweetest ever bff to lovers with soft boi Lu]
Hashimoto by @burncrashbromance [special for Disabled!Sos]
Full lengths and Serieses
Ashton
Hate sex Series*** by @irwinofficial Tell Me How Much You Hate Me, Our Kinky Secret, Good Enough, No Longer A Secret [one of the best Ash smuts ever 👀]
Side chick*** by @cal-puddies [Beautifully filthiest smut with cheating, all the wrong choices and Cashton love triangle] part 1, part 2
Calum
Sugar Coated Pain by @cakesunflower [Boxer!Cal] [That’s what I lost my 5sos-fanfiction-virginity to, so, hey, Summer, thanks for the experience lmao]
Cigarette series*** by @cal-puddies [Best friend!Calum and a lot of hot smut 👀] Cigarette, Corona, Rolling Papers, Black on Black, Stuck [which was later replaced by the next part, but I’ll put it as long as it exists on the original list of parts, but don’t get confused], Navy Button Down, A Hotter Touch, Pancakes, The Second Thing, Ours, Losing You, Little toes, Holy Water, Date Night, Me, You and Little Hood, Five Years Later
Wherever you are by @mysticalhood [Long distance with Cal and tons of tears with me]
Dates With Cal by @calpops [this is so cute i higkey don’t want it to end like ever] First date, Second date, Second date pt, Third date, Calum cooking part one and two, The next evening, Cuddling and meeting guys, Worrying about ‘his girl’, Being her only guy, Meeting Mali, Soft nights, Talking about her family, Not everybody liking her, Tropical getaway, Being smitten around guys, Leaving talk, Night before the tour, Being away from each other, Cal coming home, Saying ‘i love you’, Cal being jealous of Duke, Watching her in the morning, Taking a bath together, Talking to guys about taking a next step, Grocery shopping, Asking her to move in, Choosing a house, Packing her stuff, Packing his stuff, First night in the new house, Unpacking, Finding out habits
Business Blurbs by @calpops [series of blurbs of Calum and Ash being owners of a record shop, Luke keeping an antique store and Mike having a bakery]
Masquerade Made by @calpops [fake dating college AU blurb series] First party, Fighting in a philosophy class
Veiled Valor by @calpops [pirate!Calum, runaway princess, heart wrecking mutual pining and writing style deserving 19th century prose] Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7
Versace on the Floor by @singt0mecalum [Dad’s friend Calum, age difference and *supposedly* hottiest content] Intro chapter
#writingrecs#readitbeforeyoudie#5sos#5 seconds of summer fanfic#5sos smut#5sos fluff#5 seconds of summer#5 seconds of summer fic#5 seconds of summer imagine#calumhood#calum5sos#calum hood fanfic#calum hood imagine#calum hood fanfiction#ashtonirwin#ashton5sos#ashton irwin fanfic#ashton irwin imagine#ashton irwin fanfiction#ashton irwin fic#lukehemmings#luke5sos#luke hemmings fanfiction#luke hemmings one shot#calum smut#ashton smut#luke smut
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an asshole who’s kind of funny at times - Ben Hardy x Reader
I don’t know what this is and there’s a big possibility I’ll hate this in the morning and delete it lol
(it’s also 3 AM so I’m not accountable for any of the dumb grammar mistakes I’ve made. It’s also possible that none of the words I’m writing make any sense in any other way either. I’m so tired wtf)
description: Your friend makes you a Tinder profile and to your surprise you match with Ben Hardy.
word count: 1.8k
warnings: a bit of swearing as usual (this one's not gonna break your heart, though)
Moving to London had always been a dream of mine. It's finally happening and I couldn't be happier.
I'm carrying the last box to my new apartment and I can't wait to go out. The only friend I have in London asked me out to her favourite pub and she's coming to pick me up in half an hour. Let's hope I have the time to get ready.
When the last box is inside, I grab my makeup bag to fix the makeup I did earlier today. Luckily that doesn't take long and I have plenty of time to choose an outfit. The hardest part of going out.
I look at a mirror and see myself wearing the tightest skinny jeans ever invented. I might die wearing these but they look damn good. The high waist of them hugs my body nicely and well, black looks good on everyone. I but a lacy bodysuit underneath and a leather jacket on top. I match it all with some leather boots and I feel like a badass. I bet I look like a badass too.
My friend arrives perfectly in time.
"Oh my God, you look gorgeous!", she says to me and I do a little spin.
"Thank you. You don't look half bad yourself", I say and close the door behind me.
"No! You gotta make a Tinder profile, you'll never meet anyone otherwise!", my friend argues with me about Tinder. We had a couple of drinks and she thought I really needed to hook up with someone. I don't think that's a good idea though.
"I prefer meeting people the old fashioned way. Not so desperately", I say and sip the third drink of mine. I was already feeling a little tipsy.
"Yeah, that's not gonna happen", she says and grabs my phone from the table. I don't really like the idea of having a profile on a dating website but I don't really care enough to fight her any longer. If she wants to make me a profile, she shall make me a profile.
It takes her around 10 minutes to finish the whole thing and she starts swiping not even showing me the profile. I still don't really care until I notice she's swiping right on everyone.
"Hey! There's no way I'll like all of them!", I take the phone away from her and check out the profile. The first picture is me showing off my new outfit and it's actually quite a cute picture. It really shows off my figure. The second picture is a random selfie and I have no clue how my friend even found that one. It's okay, I guess. The last one is a weird one and not gonna lie, I'm a bit embarrassed it's out there. It's me and my family dog cuddling. God, I miss the dog already.
I read the bio and burst out laughing.
""Just a good girl looking for a nice time". Why the hell would you write something like this?", I ask my friend and try to edit it to something more... something more me.
"Well, what are you gonna put there then?", she asks and looks at me waiting for me to come up with something better. I write something down and show it to her.
"An asshole who's kind of funny at times", she reads from the bio. "Do you think you're like quirky or some shit?"
"I mean that's a pretty accurate description of me", I say and start swiping. My friend follows my decisions carefully.
"What the fuck, you're only swiping left. Let me do it", she takes the phone from my hands. I would like to be mad at her for that but I'm just too lazy.
My friend gets lost in swiping guys left and right for me, but after 15 minutes she wakes up from the trance.
"OH MY GOD, YOU JUST MATCHED WITH THE HOTTEST GUY EVER", she shows me a few pictures. He honestly might be the hottest guy ever.
"That must be a catfish. Why would a guy like that match with me", I try not to get excited. He looks so familiar, though, they’re probably just some loner using some actors pictures.
"I'm gonna talk to him", my friend says and opens the chat.
"You better ask him to prove he ain't a catfish", I say carelessly and sip my drink.
"What's his name again?"
"Oh, it's Ben", my friend says while typing. That really sounds so familiar.
"Oh, wait shit. Show me the pictures again!", I quickly say, realizing something. "That's Ben Hardy. He's an actor, right?", I ask my friend to Google him.
"Yeah, that's him. I did ask him if he was a catfish, though. Hasn't answered yet", and just as my friend says this I get a message.
"People always ask me this, but you're the only one I find intriguing enough to prove myself to", I read the message and get a picture of him holding a piece of paper with my name on it. He's either really good at photoshop or he's the real deal.
"Haha, sorry for making you prove yourself. I guess you're just too hot to be real", I type.
"Well, you gotta prove yourself too then, love. Send me a selfie with your biggest smile"
"That's kind of lame way to prove myself. Everyone has pictures with big smiles on their faces", I still take a picture of myself with the biggest smile I could ever make appear on my face.
"Wow, you really are beautiful in more than just 3 pictures. Your dog is very cute, too", he flirts with me and I blush. I just blame it on the alcohol. I’m not into a guy I’ve just texted a few sentences to.
"Ooh, you like him. Isn't that cute", my friend teases me and give her an angry look.
"I don't even know him, stop it."
I can't stop texting him the whole night. He is literally the sweetest but I still have a suspicion he only wants to fuck me. Isn't that what Tinder is for? I really don't care for hook ups.
"I'm absolutely wasted and need to get some sleep", I text him when I'm already half asleep in bed.
"Get your beauty sleep, love, and we'll talk again tomorrow. Let's hope you'll remember me", I read his message and smile. It really makes me feel good things inside when he calls me 'love'.
I fall asleep right after reading the message.
I wake up to a headache. It's not the worst hangover I've ever had but it isn't fun either. I get up and go make some coffee.
"Good morning, beautiful. Still remember me?", I got a message from Ben. I don't even want to scroll through what ever we talked about last night. I might've said anything.
"Yes, of course. I never forget a pretty face", I type as I'm getting a cup for my coffee. I can't help but smile at everything he writes.
"You might not remember this but we DEFINITELY (no doubt) planned on meeting today. We 100% talked about going out later to have some coffee", I know we didn't actually plan anything but that's probably the cutest way to ask me out. I really don't want to trust him because who knows what kind of weirdos there are online but something in me wants to say yes. And that's what I end up doing.
"Let's do it. What time and where? I'm new to London so you better pick a place I'll find!"
"Okay... how about as soon as possible and you can choose the place"
"Oh, don't sound so desperate. But okay, sure, let's meet in an hour (I literally just woke up and look like HEEELLL) at... I honestly don’t know where, you pick the place", I tell him and he does as I say. I hope I'll find the place.
"If you don't find the café let's just meet by the station, okay love?", I smile at the last message he sent me and I can't believe that I'm meeting someone I met online. It's either awkward, amazing or I'm getting murdered. There's no other way.
The hour goes by way too fast and right when it's gone by, I realize this is when I should already be there, not just ready at home.
I run to the nearest station and count how many stations there are in between mine and the one where we're supposed to meet. Luckily it's only a couple of stations away. I'm so nervous and terrified. I feel like he's gonna be so disappointed when he sees me in real life. And on top of everything I'm still hungover!
I look at my clothes and try to convince myself I look good. I'm wearing black leggings, the same shoes as yesterday and a black sweater with a camo jacket on top. My hair's up and I did as much as I had time to do with my makeup. I know it's not the hottest look in the world, but I really like being real with people, not pretending to be something I'm not.
I walk outside and see a blonde standing in front of the station. My heart starts beating way too fast and I suddenly get more nervous than I was before. He really isn't a catfish but I feel like I am. I feel like I'm not half as pretty as I am in those couple of pictures.
I collect my courage and walk up to him.
"What is such a pretty boy doing out here all by himself?", I try to joke and regret every word the second they come out of my mouth.
"What is such a pretty lady being so late", he jokes back and looks at his watch. He's right. I'm like 15 minutes late.
"I'm so sorry. It took me way too long to make myself look presentable", I look at him pouting and he just smiles at me. God damn, he's gorgeous.
"I doubt that, I bet you just almost didn't come because I'm just so insanely handsome and intimidating", he's clearly joking and I laugh as we start walking.
"No, seriously. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be late", I say and look at him in the eye. He's taller than me so it takes extra attention to do so.
He turns left and bumps right into me.
"Oh my God, I'm sorry. I actually have no idea which way we're going", I'm probably as red as a firetruck.
"It's okay, love. You can hold onto my arm and I'll show you the way", he puts his arm in front of me and I reach to grab it without a second thought. He smiles at me and we continue walking.
I really like him already and I can only wish he likes me too.
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yo! they say its links that are deleting people's blogs!!! like, links on their bios!!!
There’s so much mass wild guessing as to what the reason is right now that there’s no telling but I just took down my descriptions for esselley and essiecorking. Just had more people get deleted as of like, an hour ago, so... feels like a matter of time lol
I’m considering locking my blog and maybe Essiecorking too. So if I disappear for a bit, that might be why, as opposed to actual deletion??? Seems pointless but I’m trying to do what I can >.
Anyways thanks for the heads up.
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Ok so someone is impersonating me on YouTube
[FINAL UPDATE]
The fake account exposed themselves (they keep posting fake and nosense evidence tho and conviently now they have a sudden interest in KPOP LMAO) so case closed I decide to move on and stop free-promo them and wait for YouTube to take actions.
So to sum up:
x Fake account won’t answer which is the very first video I uploaded onto thatsideofutube x Fake account won’t answer which is the last video of thatsideofutube before it got terminated. x Fake account has used promo discount codes (glossier) for personal gain, I HAVE NEVER. x Fake account will never upload the 6 episodes of the Barbie series. x Fake account doesn’t speak spanish and everyone who has been following me long enough knows I’m a native spanish speaker (my tumblr bios has always had spanish) ALSO I SUBBED THIS VIDEO MYSELF: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U5b6sg8MpCE. x Fake account only provides fake screenshots and fake video recordings that are easy manipulable. x Fake account started making random gmail accounts a la [email protected] to make their fake proof plausible. x You know I’ve been banned from uploading on YouTube several times and I NEVER MADE A DIFFERENT ACCOUNT to keep posting, I waited for the ban to be over / used private videos to keep posting. x Having a ban from YouTube DOESN’T KEEP YOU FROM EDITING YOUR BIO NOR EDITING THE TITLES/DESCRIPTION OF THE ALREADY UPLOADED VIDEOS; the last time I got a ban on thatsideofutube2 I used the latest video’s title to let people know I wasn’t able to upload anything new for a while and you know (WHY WOULD I ACT DIFFERENT NOW AND MAKE A NEW CHANNEL AND NOT LET MY SUSCRIBERS KNOW ON MY MAIN CHANNEL?). x I’ve been away for personal reasons (medical issues) so someone took advantage of my absence to make this happen. x A ban on YouTube doesn’t last 4 months so why they never went back to the main channel to keep posting?. x Fake account only claimed they were “hacked” once I started uploading again. x Fake account never linked this tumblr to their account. x I have never linked their channel on thatsidefoutube2. x Fake account used their channel to tell everyone it was their birthday I HAVE NEVER done that. x I’Ve NeVer TyPEd LikEd THiS. x I’ve had this tumblr account long before I started the thatsideofutube thing (you can check the archive for that) so NO, [email protected] is not the login email for this tumblr (you can check that no tumblr account is associated with that email, therefore THIS TUMBLR COULDN’T HAVE BEEN HACKED IF YOU DON’T HAVE THE LOGIN INFORMATION). x Fake account deleted all the comments about recording a video of themselves to prove their legit, it wasn’t until I said on my channel that the picture on my tumblr is from Jessica Jung (for fuck’s sake, it even says Jessica in my bio) that they keep saying everywhere how the pic is from a famous person. x Sadly, several people fell for the lies and are spreading the same lies on my channel so to stop those lies from being spread I’ve decided to block any user spreading lies on my channel in order to confuse / mislead the rest of the suscribers. x Fake account is still ignoring all these FACTS and turning a blind eye because they know they can prove me wrong with ANY of these. x I’m willing to do anything you can come up with to prove I’m the original owner, a video in spanish? You say it. I STILL HAVE ACCESS to the first thatsideofutube account (the channel is obviously down) so I can show you anything you want from it (the email I got (in spanish) saying the channel was terminated? You say it. *IN BEFORE THEY SAY THE ORIGINAL CHANNEL WAS “HACKED” TOO LMAO*
[UPDATE 3]
This sad hoe just deleted their [email protected] account so that the system will say that the email does not exist. Why aren't they showing the previous video but without the mouse cursor on it tho? LMAO SADDDDD. It took them more than an hour to come up with this </3.
[UPDATE 2]
Don’t you love when a mouse cursor is conveniently placed TO HIDE A LOWERCASE “L” TRYING TO PASS AS AN “i”?
The fake ho just uploaded a new video claiming the screenshots are real. They proceed to show the timestamps and the mails... however the mouse is conveniently placed on the [email protected] just because IS NOT [email protected] BUT [email protected]
You can check yourself by trying to create a new account by that name:
What a suprise!!!! (irony) [email protected] is already taken!! (you can check yourselves).
LMAO you can see how conveniently he placed the finger there to hide the lower case L.
Also if you check the video at 0:07, you can see how the video goes abruptly from this frame
to this one (you can x0.25 to see it clearer).
This is not taken in one shot, it is an edited video with two different shots just to avoid showing the mouse cursor moving and exposing the lowercase L LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Also LMAO @ the sudden interest in KPOP when people were commenting on my last video how the fake channel never showed interest in that.
YOU DUN GUUFED SON.
[UPDATE]
x They uploaded a new fake screenshot now with time stamps. The emails are still nowhere to be seen lol.
x They didn’t address any of the rest of the points below LMAO (simply because they can’t, he can only provide fake screenshots).
x They added my tumblr link on their bio just now LMAO (why would you link a tumblr account that is hacked). Also, the 10% glossier promo discount shit is still there.
YouTube has just contacted me back and this should be solved soon.
I’ll just leave this here because I don’t wanna keep promoting that sad hoe on YouTube.
x A fake screenshot where you can’t even see the sender/so called “hacker” email (aka [email protected]) is not real proof. Literally anyone can name themselves thatsideofutube 2 being the email something totally different. The email from the “hacker” is conveniently nowhere to be seen.
x Another fake (and convenient) screenshot where the “hacker” totally out of the blue and in the most random way claims that this tumblr is hacked when I update my bio with proof that I’m the original owner is shady af and not real proof. Why this screenshot only appears AFTER I update my bio? Why not claim that the tumblr account was ~hacked~ too right away?. They gave some poor excuse that they were tired or some shit like that and that’s why they didn’t upload it right away LMAO dumb af.
x There are NO timestamps for the emails.
x I’m sure some new “screenshots” will appear and now [email protected] will be visible lmao.
x I made this tumblr long before I started thatsideofutube so [email protected] nor [email protected] aint the emails I use to log on tumblr (you can check that yourselves, no tumblr accounts are associated to those emails) so there’s no way “a hacker” can take this tumblr without knowing the login information which that sad hoe doesn’t know.
x They never linked this tumblr to their account.
x I’ve NEVER used the channel for promo however they have some get 10% glossy shit off links on several videos and linked to their bio. Why would I do this instead of linking my tumblr to my bio as I HAVE ALWAYS DONE?.
x When I receive strikes from YouTube I turn to private videos to keep posting / wait for a while until the bans is lifted. I HAVE NEVER made different accounts to keep posting (and you know this), not with thatsideofutube nor with thatsideofutube2 now. Why would I start now and start posting again with a different account when I still have mine? I’ve always waited and you know. I only made thatsideofutube2 when thatsideofutube got terminated.
x Since 2011 I have NEVER used a video to claim it was “my birthday” in a desperate attempt to get congratulation comments.
x When thatsideofutube got terminated I uploaded the same videos WITH THE SAME EXACT TITLE, those in the fake channel have different ones from the original (my titles).
x I’Ve NeVer TyPEd LikEd THiS for any of my videos.
x I’m a native spanish speaker and I have talked in spanish with several subscribers several times (my tumblr bio has had the spanish sentence since forever) the fake account can’t speak a single word in Spanish.
x The fake account only claimed thatsideofutube2 was hacked once I started uploading again, how come “a hacker” can instantly upload videos (hence the so called ban was lifted) and they never got back to thatsideofutube2 to start posting again?. I never left the channel when I was banned from uploading, I used private videos to keep posting.
x That sad ho is making multiple “fan” accounts claiming they were close to me when I never talked to them to confuse and mislead people, they’re also blocking people calling them out to make them look good (they stopped doing that once I made this post lmao). I’m blocking everyone promoting them / confusing people to keep from misleading the people on my channel.
x On my “I got 2 Community Guidelines Strikes already” video (link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_JiCfBPPzHU ) user Lets Talk About comments how he can’t wait for thatsideofutube3 then I reply “I’d rebrand tbh” meaning that I wouldn’t use the thatsideofutube thing again (and I won’t).
x The girl in my pic is Jessica Jung from Girls Generation (aka the girlband from videos like #IgotABoyOnMyChin) Funny how the fake account only said they couldn’t do a face reveal because the pic on my bios it’s Jessica once I said that myself on my channel LMAO (if he knew how come they didn’t say earlier?),
x The fake account has only addressed one of these points (and with a fake video and fake screenshots lmao). He keeps ignoring all these points (and we know they know about this post since they have made several videos regarding only two points of the big ass amount there is.
So if that sad hoe claims they’re the orignal owner (which IT ISNT the case) they can easily do the following tasks (which I obviously can):
Name the first video I ever uploaded onto my first channel Name the last video I uploaded before my first channel got terminated Say why I don’t pin the user malcom memery anymore. The login email for this tumblr. Upload all of the unedited Barbie’s Dream House Episodes (all 6 of them; I only uploaded the first 4 ones because 5 & 6 are painfully unfunny but I still have the vids from the og tumblr user). And a lot more I can add if you want me to.
This is honestly getting out of hand.
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Okay, I know a lot of you are probably like, “Who the heck is this girl I started following? Like, her highlights are all over the place, she changes her name and/or description/bio every couple weeks!” Well, first of all, I’m gonna lyk honestly that, I really don’t know who the heck I am still, so good luck figuring it out! Haha. No, but in all seriousness, I have been doing a LOT of soul searching and I think I’m close and would love to help you figure out your path too if you will give me the honor? So, that’s the main thing… I’m getting back to my old roots; in other words, getting in touch with my inner child. What was important to her? Who was important to her and why? I learned how to read cards and make dream catchers with my mother’s kindred spirit friend Barbara. I enjoyed nature and anything that involved water. The three closest people to me were my mother, father, nieces & nephews (more like cousins in age) and brother Jeff. All my brothers were pretty equally important to me, but he was literally the best person on the planet, and also my first grieving experience at only the young age of seven. I would like to work with women on loss, trauma, nurturing themselves and light-work, especially since I was a #domesticabusesurvivor as well. If you want anymore details, send me a DM or check out www.thedream-catchers.com. I already lead a women’s spirituality group “The Badgers” but this is kind of a pivot from that. #oldsoulsunite #oldsoulsconnect #allsoulswelcome #loveforallhumanity #onelove #oneheart Secondly, I am a mother. This is apparent with quadruple highlights almost identical and centered around my children (hard to delete anything and narrow down lol). #sorrynotsorry #thisisme #putyourchildrenfirst ‘cause even though I know it is healthy to put #godfirst #marriagesecond #putyourmarriagebeforeyourchildren the fact is, my faith has come and gone. Marriages may come and go. My children are my children though and sent here by God and are #godsent #agodsend #angels and biologically it is in my nature to nurture them no matter what. Someday I know I will have to let them go, and then the hubby will hopefully still be there.❤🙏 (at Oregon) https://www.instagram.com/p/CN8U_98FK29/?igshid=be3j7ce4li3h
#domesticabusesurvivor#oldsoulsunite#oldsoulsconnect#allsoulswelcome#loveforallhumanity#onelove#oneheart#sorrynotsorry#thisisme#putyourchildrenfirst#godfirst#marriagesecond#putyourmarriagebeforeyourchildren#godsent#agodsend#angels
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