#this is why hmmk hurts me prob more than any other aa ship

[hechiima]

Sholmes and Mikotoba break me b/c they were so clearly meant for each other and yet they were separated for so long. This is kinda a long ramble and it's obviously all my HC b/c we know so little about their earlier days but. Ugh.

Before he met Mikotoba, I don't think Sholmes had any friends - he was not lonely per se, as he was quite content with his own company/interests and was used to being alone but he had never really been known or understood. He was used to being needed b/c he was brilliant but nobody had ever sought to really befriend or love him. And it makes sense. Sholmes, esp younger Sholmes, I think was probably a deeply difficult person to manage; arrogant, headstrong, and all too aware how much smarter he was than everyone else in the room. I would think the only close relationship he had was with his brother but, even then, Mycroft is seven years his senior and has never been particularly portrayed as a soft man.

And then Mikotoba shows up and here's this man who is smart and brave and kind, yes, but most importantly, he listens. He wants to learn Sholmes' methods and makes an earnest study of them. He praises Sholmes sincerely, follows him into danger, and delights in Sholmes' ramblings and hobbies. He tolerates Sholmes' more difficult moods, learns to manage him, cares for him when he is injured/sick, and tries to even protect Sholmes from himself. For the first time, here is someone who sees all of Sholmes and actively chooses to stay by his side. Mikotoba is the first and only person who knows Sholmes and Sholmes has never experienced anything close to this before. To be known like that is such a beautiful thing; how could he not fall in love?

From Mikotoba's perspective, I think Sholmes gives him a purpose again. When he arrives in London he's not in great shape. I think he left Japan partially to escape the memories of Ayame and to run away from the responsibilities of rearing Susato (which is a shitty thing to do, yes). He's there to learn about the British justice system but I don't think his heart is in it. How can it be with that much loss and grief?

And then he meets Sholmes and suddenly he's thrust into Sholmes' world. I think Mikotoba maintains he wants to lead a peaceful life but the allure of the mystery, the thrill of danger, and most importantly, Sholmes himself are things he simply cannot stay away from. Sholmes is fascinating and brilliant and captivating and most importantly, he is a good man. And I think that goodness is so important for Mikotoba because it reminds him that there is good in this world and not everything is loss and grief and despite everything, he is here by Sholmes' side for a reason. He has a purpose again. Ofc he would fall in love with Sholmes.

On top of all that, I think they just are also pals. They're good friends who laugh together and dine together and go to concerts together. They teach each other how to fight (in the original stories, Holmes escapes Moriarty with a hybrid form of martial arts that is based partially in judo and jiu-jitsu so I think in dgs he learns that from Mikotoba) and gossip about Scotland Yard and get into trouble together. They have this grand love story yes, and it is built in dark alleyways and dangerous pursuits and the London underbelly but it is also built in easy laughter and private violin concerts and comfortable domesticity.

And then Capcom separates them for ten years without even cellphones or planes, with two daughters to raise, and the horrible grief of losing some of their closest friends in London. Sholmes loses the only person who knew him and Mikotoba loses the man who gave him purpose again. They both lose their best friend. God. I know they're eventually reunited but the sheer loss of time is staggering; ten years is so long and it is especially long to miss your other half. What the fuck Capcom.