#this is where “all things end��’ on Xisuma’s playlist comes in actually
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Hey! i’m really into the dbch story and i was wondering if doc and xisuma ever tell bdubs the specifics of why etho lost his memories, cause if they do that is prime self blaming angst for bdubs
I’m inclined to believe they don’t. Actually (and maybe I should do a small comic for this so more people see it) I imagine, once a month or a few pass and they finally return etho to bdubs as reset, I imagine they are VERY serious about warning bdubs not to try to force Etho to re-deviate— they don’t go into specifics, but they probably tell bdubs that whatever happened had to do with something that was emotionally overwhelming, and that forcing him to redeviate/not letting it happen naturally could trigger the same error. They have no idea what could happen so bdubs needs to be very careful and let Etho find himself again on his own.
Whether or not bdubs gets impatient or can only go so long before he doubts it would be that bad if he tried pushing Etho in the right direction is another story.
But yeah. I don’t think Xisuma or Doc really… tell anyone that this happened. Etho’s error seemed like a very specific one-off scenario, so it’s not something the other hermits should be trying to avoid or be careful about happening to their own android friends, and the only thing telling people would do is make them worried about the situation. All they need to know is that etho was broken and that they need to be careful with him. I don’t agree with their decision to keep what happened to themselves but I understand it I think. Xisuma “i don’t want to worry the hermits” Void and Docm “eh this isn’t the first time I’ve replaced this arm, people won’t question it” 77
#that’s a lie actually I think xisuma ends up telling Cleo :>#but only because Cleo is very smart and I think they should be close in this au :]#but no she would clock Tired Overworked Existential Crisis Xisuma in an instant#Cleo calls them both idiots and gives them big hugs and tells them they need therapy. also that they’re welcome by her place anytime to talk#it’s very sweet and healing to me#this is where “all things end’’ on Xisuma’s playlist comes in actually#oh my god I got so off topic#BDUBS IS GOING TO FEEL GUILTY NO MATTER WHAT THOUGH#like okay. technically#the reason etho shut down is because he was freaking out that everything was his fault#(last life—not giving bdubs a heart— trying to win for bdubs and then losing— coming back to s8 feeling like he can’t face bdubs—>#ending up leaving him alone when the moon hit#and bdubs was hurt by these things. no doubt#but bdubs just wants his friend back and maybe he’s a little reckless about it#bdubs hides his emotions behind cartoonish frustration and complaining but he feels bad#he feels like he should be doing more to ‘save’ etho and bring him back even though he was to#told* he shouldn’t#dbhc ask#dbhc#dbhc bdubs#dbhc etho#dbhc doc#dbhc xisuma#ask#anon
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Guilty by Rag’n’bone Man
couldn’t listen all the way through | not my thing | it’s okay | kinda catchy | ok i really like this | downloading immediately | already in my library
THIS RANKING SYSTEM NEEDS HIGHER OPTIONS -
My reactions to that, in order:
- *humming comes on* OH!!
- *vocals come on* OH!!!!
- Happy flap but my phone is still in my hand so I accidentally blast myself in the face with the flashlight that comes on when I shake it lol
- Want to loop the song again before it's even done
- Aggressive happy flap
- I want that voice I want to Take it -
- Oh My Goodness
- Adding it to 5 (five) seperate playlists
I am going to listen to this song. I am going to listen to this song until the words stop meaning things -
As for Hermit? Xisuma.
...my ramble on that got a bit longer than I was expecting.
This is a possible ending to the current Evil Xisuma plotline, where X wakes up one day and realise's he's been entranced, he's been manipulated, he's had his very final shred of hope and kindness and empathy gripped and used and torn to shreds and he's been duped again...this would be him finally allowing years of built up trauma and guilt and blaming himself for EX's inability to change to come to the surface as anger, at last, not in the uncontrollable way that he always feared but in a way that gives sharpness and clarity. "I won't feel guilty for that," finally taking the shame out of allowing himself to feel and be hurt, "Give me one good reason" a mockery of so many "good" reasons given and wasted, AND THIS LINE
"And I don't know who you are"
A final blow to the idea that has kept him in chains for years, the idea that this monster is something that is on some level secretly his true self or even a self that he could ever turn into, held over his head and used to fertilize his guilt and hesitation and terror, this would be him seizing that lie and just reducing it to ashes once and for all, finally able to do that... That was a really long ramble for a thing I could do an actual essay on probably, but that's what I thought of first when listening to this song! I'm not necessarily saying that I'd like that type of ending for the EX plotline? And it's certainly not going to actually happen. But I think in general I'm less attached to a sympathetic EX than the average fan, and I think there's a freedom in this type of ending. Especially when X is dealing with a person whose biggest hold over him is the twin weapons of being him (or claiming to be), and repeatedly taking advantage of his almost self-destructive need to be forgiving and kind.
(It is 1:30 am and I have not reread any of that so I hope it makes sense!! In conclusion: song GOOD)
#X has been playing the EX thing off mostly goofy lately which is absolutely fair#but in some of the older episodes i kind of got the feel of something being held over him by just the idea of an evil self; in a big way#there's like this paradoxical symbiosis about it#how he can ban or banish or trap EX but never quite get rid of him entirely; always has to allow him back; even when he knows it's hopeless#because he's caught himself in a moral loop; and EX has dug into that and widened it into a wound#every time X tries to rid himself of EX for good there's a voice in his head that says that that will make him just as bad#that the act of refusing to keep trying to save someone will make him as despicable as the thing he hates#the only way he's going to ever be free of EX is if he can resolve all the guilt that's been thrust on him#and realize that; no matter how many years you've been taught to believe it; pain is not the same as goodness#and relief not the same as evil#yes I am stupidly overanalyzing the whole thing. hee hoo cartoon evil man. yes it's not that deep#and i do honestly genuinely love EX as just a funky entertainment tool#but the complex EX redemption theories and honestly most of fanon EX are just also overanalysis really#I'm just doing it from square one and in a slightly different way#and it's fun!#overanalysis is fun; EX is fun; sympathetic!EX is fun and leads to a good conclusion in my books also#i just think that; one way or another#xisuma deserves to stop being manipulated#by his own insecurities about his morality; as well as by outside sources#welp! now I'm feeling things!#time to go listen to this song AGAIN and see how many other scenarios i can come up with for it#it HITS#ask#shadespam99
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AbschaumNo1′s Big Catchup Post of All the Fic You Missed
Okay so since I am back on my old bs apparently (for however long it lasts) and I just realised that I haven’t posted links to my fic since the beginning of 2017, I thought I’d do a bit of a roundup of all the fics I posted since then.
There are 59 of them since New Year’s 2016/17 (and no I don’t know who let me do that either), sorted here by fandom and then grouped together by series or pairing. Fic titles link to the fic on AO3.
Assassin’s Creed
Malik Al-Sayf/Altaïr Ibn La’Ahad
All That Still Needed To Be Said
Altaïr and Malik had a system.
Football RPF
Jakub Błaszczykowski/Łukasz Piszczek
You’re Driving Home For Christmas
Lukasz and Kuba celebrate Christmas together
Hermitcraft RPF
Hermitcraft Fantasy AU
Meetings (Gen)
Doc found the man in a tavern
An Unexpected Journey (Tangpulse, Minor and Background Relationships) WIP (Chapter 10/? posted as of the making of this post)
Xisuma sends Tango to talk to a potential new Hermit. Neither of them expects the journey that follows.
Home Is Where You Are (Tangpulse)
Tango and Doc are late to return home from their trip to the city. Tango just hopes he won't miss his and Impulse's anniversary completely.
Natural Phenomena
Meadows of Heaven (Scarian)
Grian and Scar get stuck in the rain on a resource gathering trip.
The Oncoming Storm (Gridoc)
Doc and Grian watch a storm coming in.
Let The Rain Come Down (Xisuma & Evil Xisuma)
Evil X discovers rain.
Finding Home (Zedaph/Tango/Impulse)
In the beginning all was chaos. But then the worlds were built.
Gridoc
Realisations
Five times Hermits see Doc and Grian together and have to realise that they may have gotten some false impressions.
Now The Armour’s Wearing Thin (3/3 Chapters)
Grian wasn't initially worried when Doc started to work on Area 77, but after he wakes him from a nightmare he starts to think that he should maybe figure out what's going on.
Keralis/Bdubs
Campfire Nights
In which Bdubs and Keralis are close and Bdubs is clueless until he's not. Neither of those make talking to Keralis about it any easier.
Zedaph/Tango/Impulse
The Bunny Slippers
The bunny slippers were supposed to be a joke gift. Little did Impulse and Zedaph know how much Tango would actually love them.
Hockey RPF
Back to You (Brent Seabrook/Andrew Shaw)
Your Love Will Take Me Home (5/5 chapters)
Andrew doesn’t usually go for team mates. But Seabs… Seabs is hot and Andrew will be damned if he’s not everything he’s looking for in a guy. And it’s just flirting, it’s not like there’s anything more going on between them. Or is there?
You’ve Got To Give Him Some Faith - Hold Him Tight
Andrew comforts Brent after the Hawks lose against the Stars.
Brothers Under the Sun (Brandon Bollig & Andrew Shaw)
A story in five joke mugs (and one non-joke mug)
A Night to Remember
Andrew surprises Brent for his thousandth NHL game
Together - A Family
It's Brent's birthday.
Le Ciel À l’Infini Embrasse l’Univers
Andrew and Brent take Pricey up on his offer to visit.
You Know I’ll Be There
‘When did we adopt Lehky?’ Brent texts Andrew as soon as he sees the photo.
You Can Depend on Me
Andrew seeing his family when the Habs play in Chicago
I’ll Fly Like An Eagle (Jesperi Kotkaniemi/Victor Mete)
Jesperi has a problem, Andrew has advice, and Victor has no clue (until he has)
Someday I’ll Be Where You Are
Three years after being traded to Montreal, Andrew is traded once again. This time he gets to go back home to his family.
You Were There When I Needed You
They tell the kids on Boxing Day
Skate Date Verse (Brent Seabrook/Andrew Shaw)
Sitting, Waiting, Wishing
‘I slept with Shawzy’ is all Seabs' text says, and… okay that’s not quite what Duncs expected. ‘Good for you’ he texts back, because well, what’s he supposed to say to that? ‘No. I SLEPT with Shawzy’
Your Best Shot
Andy and Brent spend their date night at Top Golf. It gets a little derailed.
The Hawks Cuddle Collection (Gen)
Tonight We Are Victorious
The Hawks cuddling after the win in Florida on November 24th 2018.
A Warm Welcome
Dylan has his first practice in Chicago. But the real cool stuff happens away from the ice.
A Welcome Surprise
Collin hadn't expected the cuddle piles.
Alex Debrincat/Dylan Strome
Not Your Fault
After the game Alex lets Dylan stew.
Brent Seabrook/Andrew Shaw
The Beginning of Forever
Andrew Shaw moves in with Brent Seabrook, falls in love, and accidentally marries him. Not in that order.
Brent Seabrook has a bunch of idiot friends, a husband he married accidentally, and three kids to worry about. Or maybe things are easier than he thinks.
Either way they're stuck together, so they better make it work.
Let’s Take On The World Together
The first Andrew sees of Brent Seabrook is a glimpse of broad shoulders and a sweaty face with a beard. Luckily it's not the last he sees of him.
Take A Chance On Me
It took Andrew all of five minutes while walking from his first lecture to where he was meeting Saader to dig up everything he could find on Brent.
In which Brent is a TA for one of Andrew's courses and they fall in love.
Brent Seabrook/Jeremy Colliton
We’re Breaking All The Rules
Brent and Jeremy have an arrangement. Then Duncs finds out
Carey Price/P.K. Subban
A Bigger Heart I Have Never Seen
No one does Christmas quite like P.K. does
Connor McDavid/Dylan Strome
Christmas Cuddles
Connor and Dylan don't get much time together over Christmas but there's always time for cuddles.
Corey Crawford/Trevor van Riemsdyk
Second Chances
As nice as it is to have so many Ex-Hawks around he already knows, Trevor can’t help but think that it would be easier if he didn’t have the constant reminder of what he doesn’t have anymore.
Duncan Keith/Brent Seabrook
Second Chances
What Dylan and Alex didn't expect when they introduced their dads to each other was that they already knew each other.
What neither Brent, not Duncan expected was to find out that things in their lives might have gone differently.
Duncan Keith/Jeremy Colliton
Let Me Take Care Of You
Jeremy figures out quickly that Duncs does a lot to take care of his teammates. It takes him a bit longer to figure out that Duncs needs to be taken care of, too.
Kyle Dubas/William Nylander
A Deadline Is Not The End At All
William Nylander was without a doubt the worst student Kyle had ever had.
In which Kyle supervises Willy's thesis, Willy doesn't actually show his work before the deadline, and feelings develop.
Leon Draisaitl/Connor McDavid
“Let’s Go”
After Game 5 against the Ducks
One Out Of 80 Million
Connor goes to Germany with his friends, gets lost and finds a handsome stranger
A Boy Worth Fighting For
There's three sensible survival instincts: to flee, to play dead, and to fight. Connor needs three tries to find the right one.
Let Me Worry
Connor denies that his ankle hurts
I Sang About You The Whole Time
There’s a playlist Leon has that he kind of hopes no one will ever find out about.
You Should Come Up For Coffee
Connor asks Leon to come along to dinner with Alex and Dylan. Realisations are had.
The End of Summer
Shocked But Fighting
Connor goes down with a knee injury.
Set during/after the game in Calgary on 7th April 2019
Leon Draisaitl/Milan Lucic/Connor McDavid
Let’s Start A New Tradition
There were lots of things Milan expected when he came to Edmonton. This was not one of them.
Acting Tough
Leon's a little fidgety, playing with the strings of Connor's hoodie, and his voice is soft when he says, "So I think I'll tell my family." "Yeah?" Milan asks. "Yeah."
Michael Latta/Tom Wilson
Christmas Morning
Christmas is not the same without Latts.
Patrick Kane/Jonathan Toews
Gift wrapping and a nutcracker
Patrick’s first reaction to the video of the gift wrapping competition is to laugh.
Saving You, Saving the World
It's the day before Christmas and Patrick gets to save Jonny's ass from a nefarious kidnapping plot. Again. He doesn't know what he did to deserve this.
Le Moose-bouche
Jonny quits hockey, becomes a chef and moves to Paris. Patrick is with him every step of the way.
(Spin off of Let's Take On The World Together but can be read as a standalone.)
Les Misérables
Enjolras/Grantaire
Feast of Love
Grantaire had thought Enjolras would be a grinch, but he's everything but.
Marvel Cinematic Universe
Bruce Banner & Clint Barton
Stages of Grief
When they find Clint he is changed.
Bucky/Steve
A White Christmas
Steve gets Bucky back. A story in three Christmases.
A Hundred Years in the Making
Five times Steve only draws others + 1 time he includes himself.
The Raven Cycle
Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish
What To Gift A Dreamer
Adam wonders what to get Ronan for Christmas
#Assassin's Creed#football rpf#hermitcraft#hermitship#hockey rpf#les mis#mcu#the raven cycle#scummyfic
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