#this is what happens when ur an artist with adhd

[percytheboykisser]

what does my brain want me to do when it gives me 4000000000 ideas all at once and also wants me to do it all at that exact moment??? BRAIN THATS NOT HOW IT WORKS!!!! I CANT DO THAT MUCH!!! 👿

[migorify]

i wonder how harold and george are in their universe in general, like how they act in class or at home ...

i mean, they do have proper education there but i still think they still have adhd, but maybe this time its either more disruptive or less, i dont think theres really an inbetween when theyre compared to the original george and harold

i also like to think that they have a some sort of dynamic or "strategy" when making a comic. georges artwork seem to look super tidy and same goes to his coloring to the point it almost looks like it was made digitally ;??!? this gave me a headcanon to where evil george does digital art for his work

perhaps the purple potty people had much more advanced technology that the original universe, knowing how much ppu jerome horwitz is genuinely a good and wealthy school from what we've seen

i like to think that during class whenever they feel bored (which is always), harold takes out a piece of paper and starts writing a script for whatever comic hes writing for, whether its captain blunderpants or witchwolf (ppu dogman)

george also helps him a bit here but hes not too good at it, since hes the artist and originally with normal harold, hes not that good at making/writing stories

now, george does his work at the tree house where he basically scans harolds work into their shared computer and he just draws his art in, using his drawing tablet :-)

a lot of these r like super ooc but thats ok.... i think its kinda awesome..

now that their way of making comics is out of the way, id like to talk a bit about how they act in general

i think in school they'd mess with mr krupp the most, its sure to know that they have close relationship with him.

also, even though it seems that the teacher here are insanely nice to their students to the point it makes you think detention doesn't even exist, i still think harold and george still get sent to mr krupps office after a serious prank, i mean, this is a pretty decent school after all

by 'serious prank' i mean something like ones that doesn't really make the prankee laugh it off or something. in which it probably happens often, knowing harold and george

and at home, their parents r probably mischievous in some way but not as evil as the boys, though they probably think that theyre innocent angels despite causing a lot of trouble in school AND at home

heidi is probably so pissed off at harold, he'd totally annoy the shit out of her

also with the relationship of their parents, im not sure if i should swap them or something.. i have like 3 options

stays the same as the og (harold having 1 mom while georges parents are still married)

harold living with his dad instead of her mom, george stays the same

completely swapped with george only living with his mom and harolds parents happily married

lmk ur thoughts on these :-) ! im having so much fun analyzing on what i think itd be like in the purple potty universe

[dingleberry-art]

Before I begin this I would like to clarify,

I am a minor (15) so please dont get too angry at me if this isnt correct or if i have a bad take

I have adhd and I am hyperfixated on good omens, have been for about 3? months, so i was (?) a Neil Gaiman fan.

Ok, now to actually start (sorry I haven't posted before I dont think? maybe once or twice). When I opened up tiktok earlier i thought I was getting pranked in a sick way, but nope, Neil Gaiman could possibly be a creep. Decided to hop on tumblr because a few people were saying it is going crazy, and they were right. The first thing I see when I look up his name is people shaming his fans.

I in NO WAY want to make this situation about the fans and "oh but only imagine how sad his fans feel", because if the allegations are true we would be glossing over the pain of his victims. But I do wish people would chill out on immediately dogging his fans.

First off, I had NO CLUE he was a zionist, and if I had i would have tried to separate art from artist as much as possible (i pirate GO tho so i think im good for now) But if a superfan like me didn't know this please be kinder to casual fans alike for just simply being uninformed.

Secondly, why are we hating on people for enjoying media? One of the top posts was about how "oh maybe dont make a whole piece of media ur entire personality", like ok sorry im neurodivergent😭

Basically what im trying to say: please be nicer to good omens fans rn, we DO CARE about the victims and a show that has saved some of our lives just happens to be connected to this situation. Obviously the focus should be on finding out the true story and supporting the victims, but please dont bully GO fans for being disappointed that their favorite show could possibly be canceled. I know it doesn't seem like the top priority to most people rn because it isnt, but it IS scary when you literally cried over a show taking 4 years to contine, then finding out it may not happen at all.

Lets focus on lifting up the victims vs bringing down the fans please

Im really sorry if any of this seems rude or mean im just a kid thats really passionate about a show and im sorry to the victims I hope things get sorted out.

thank you for reading!

[joanofexys]

omg can I ask about ur minyard ocs??? 👀👀

YES I CAN (and sorry for taking so long)

I am still undecided on if the Minyard twins (pt 2) will be part of my oc canon but they have certainly existed in my head for a hot minute (made them 3 years ago and forgot about them)

ig I should probably include tws. Nothing in detail but mentions of abuse, suicide, and SA

Sawyer Minyard

she/her

31

4'11

criminal defense attorney

has never played a sport in her life and doesn't plan to start

aroace

audhd combo + chronic depression

Saide Minyard

they/them (will respond to any but they/them is preferred as their gender can best be describe as "idk a blob of energy or whatever")

31

5'1

tattoo artist

played exy throughout high school and college but had no interest in going pro

played as a striker

has a bachelor's degree in psychology, never got their masters

also has the audhd combo + bipolar

Unlike the other set of Minyard twins these two were never separated, though Tilda did give them both up. Do I remember if it was mentioned how old Tilda was when she had Aaron and Andrew? No. So we're smudging the timeline however we need to for this like 10-ish year age gap between both sets of twins

Saide and Sawyer are obviously not identical if you read their height difference. And Saide will probably hold onto being the tallest Minyard sibling for the rest of their life

Saide and Sawyer for the first half of their lives were raised by a very loving foster mother who decided to file for permanent guardianship when they were 7 but due to some vague legal trouble that I haven't developed yet it falls through and the two end up being removed from her home

Thankfully the two stay together but they end up bouncing around the system for awhile and they both grow angry of it. For Sawyer this manifests in her throwing herself into school, an obsession with the justice system, and an anger with law enforcement (girl hates cops with a passion). For Saide it's finding any way to get out of their head. Parties, drugs, sex. Not all of it consensual. A lot of heavy and unhealthy self medication.

They split up for the first time ever for college. Sawyer moves across the country, a full ride with a good school that should get her into a good law school. Saide stays in state, a full ride playing exy, and they figure they'll take what they can get.

They both start receiving help in college. Sawyer attempts suicide for the first time at 21 years old as the contact with her sibling has grown more inconsistent, she has few friends, and she finds herself struggling to keep up with certain required classes she feels no passion for. She starts going to therapy afterwards but receives no diagnosis.

Saide gets diagnosed with ADHD and bipolar II their sophomore year after an outburst at a teammate, followed by three days of them being missing (out getting high and drunk and having sex they weren't fully aware was happening. crashing on friends couches and in their cars) and them returning to college with the following crash and depressive episode. They start trying different medication, stop drinking and doing drugs (with a few relapses on the way despite their insistence that they were never an addict), and started seeing a counselor provided by their colleges mental health service.

Junior year is when Saide starts experimenting with their gender. They go from he/him to he/they to she/they to she/he/they back to he/they and then they/them. That same year they start their tattoo apprenticeship while working toward their psych degree.

Sawyer gets her polisci degree, Saide gets their psych degree, and Sawyer gets accepted to an amazing law school (haven't decided which one cause y'all I have beef with Ivy League's and shit). They're roommates while Sawyer goes to law school. They both move again and get an apartment together. Saide gets a job with a local tattoo place and Sawyer is obviously a full time student. They're pretty cramped in there but they make it work

It's not until Sawyer either is a practicing lawyer or around the time she's taking the bar that the two find out about Andrew and Aaron. They've never had reason to think about other siblings. And obviously Andrew and Aaron had no reason to think they existed. But maybe something comes up with Nicky's adoption process for the two of them and the connection ends up being made

They're distant. Obviously neither of them can pack up and move again to take care of two siblings they don't even know. But there's a small effort made. Sawyer will always call Aaron back. If she's getting home at 3 am after sorting through piles of clients paperwork. Saide writers letters that he's 90% sure Aaron doesn't read and that Andrew throws straight in the trash. But they know they're there. It's probably not until Aaron and Andrew are in college and the events of the books starts going down that they really get connected. Because I'm sorry to Sawyer Minyard, vcious criminal defense attorney, who has to get the phone call that her brother killed a man and no it's not the one she thinks it is.

And this is getting long but yeah that's a bit about them

[mazyb0i]

Other RnM fans?

Rick n Morty fan creator/artist here, trying to make friend brohs with ppl who are also obsessed with the show. I have a hard time reaching out due to my anxiety. (proshippers DNI)

tldr; you're also a neurodivergent queer artist nutjob that makes crackpipe art an shitposts, heavily kins a character at one point or another, and we should be friends because we can be insane together LMFAO

Fav show ships: BP x Rick all day, (I love flesh curtains, and their dynamic is just so yes... I...) Morty x Alaska (i named the vat of acid gf Alaska because the Alaska trip..) Summer x that one girl... Morticia X Jessica, Rickcest/ Rick selfcest is aight, I obsess over Miamicop. I think selfcest in cloning / multiuniverse theory is harmless, but don't come at me with any of that proshipper/inc3st/rickorty shit. I will block you, report you, and put you on a DNI beware list; this is a threat & a warning. That shit is never EVER ok.

if we become friends/wanna know about;

I'm diagnosed Audhd, I'm a transmasc demiboy, I like to be referred to as nonbinary and a transgender male with He/They pronouns. Panromantic Demisexual.

I'm a rick kinnie, just means I identify with rick, in another universe I could be him XD, I relate to him, we share the same personality literally (ENTP 7w8); he's my self identifying comfort character. But my big interest with this show/comic is probably due to some kind of autistic hyper fixation and imprintation.

Hobbies: Crafting, Digital illustration, Fursuit /Costume making, Youtube, 3D designing, Making silly video skits, Writing, Character design, Shit posting, Creating ai voice bots for fun n fandom purposes (will make le memes), Trying to be a youtuber like Imbrandonfarris and Britany Broski, collecting stuff, VRchat, Collecting fluffy soft shit like stuffies, pillows, blankets, and hoodies. I SLEEP IN A NEST OF ALL OF THESE

Personality?: Chaotic, Unhinged, Tired and fed up with this shit, All the Energy AND NO ENERGY, I'm so tired please god help me, i'm an enigma. Ambiverted. If ur looking for a cool crazy cat dude broh who draws weird ass digital art and is always tired but jacked on coffe, adderall, and Naproxen i'm your guy.... :'}

I do alot of art and have alot of burnouts due to my adhd- I've been told I'm  innovative, clever, and expressive. I can jury-rig your glasses easily with a paperclip if you're screw comes out and loose frames causes the lens to pop. I'm very detail and idea-oriented, i come up with thousands of ideas, questions, and theories. Because of this, I tend to come up with one idea after another without actually going forward with plans and actions because i get so overwhelmed with my massive brain XD

Even tho I'm socially awkward, I love people, I want to make friends. I like being alone a lot but I hate feeling lonely. :C When I get to know you I'm very very chatty; as long as I'm not too tired or piled with heaps of assignments. I would say I'm pretty laid-back and easy to get along with, I get so stuck up in my personal world up in my head that I lose sight of important things around me, I blame the adhd. I'm an observer, I like to watch and see how things happen, I am a very hands on person.

I'm constantly learning, i love science with a passion. I got hyperfixated on evolution of different animal clades a while back. I am immensely curious and focused on understanding how the world operates and functions. I'm looking for mental and intellectual stimulation, lettuce skip casual conversation about wheather- whats your favorite dinosaur? (fuck ignore my dyslexia) and before you say a pterodactyl let me stop you right there- they aren't dinosaurs. if you like understanding the world through learning various things about science, technology, or culture, I'm your guy. but I'm also just a silly hoo hoo aah smart ass.

god this is finally done... I've been writing this for an hour......

[oliversszx]

Hihi!!!

I'm Oliver :3 You can call me Oliver, Ollie, August, Cody, etc !!! I'm part of an osdd-1b system,, but this account will only b run by me ^_^

I'm literally the silliest boy of all time fear me

Im also garfields #1 fan and anyone who says otherwise is LYING!!!!! /silly

I pretty much like.. NEED tonetags to understand. I have autism, adhd, and ocd so umm yeah

There's some stuff I wanna go over too!!!

DNI:

Dream/wilbur/jschlatt supporters (I'm a dsmp fan.. so ehem yk. Separate art from the artist!!! c!dream stans dni tho you suck (unless u like his character .. js dont support the actions of him))

Endogenic/non-traumagenic systems (you're not real)

18+ (js a comfort thing)

Any kind of k!nk, r34, or nsfw content

Drugs, ed, sh, etc centered blogs/content

Basic dni criteria (homo/transphobia, racism, yk basic stuff)

Anti-mogai, anti-furry, anti-cglre, anti-age/pet(d)re, anti-therian/otherkin, etc.

Cgl, ddlg, abdl, and any age/pet play variants

People who say age/pet regression is a k!nk

Basically just don't be an awful person, yk?? A minor and an age regressor runs this blog, don't be weird and don't be a bitch. I block freely

Mspec/lesboy/gaybian/good faith etc (seriously fuck off)

Exclusionist, terf, etc

BYF/BYI:

I talk kinda weird!! Stuff like adding zs to the end of stuff, random fs or js at the end of my words. If this is gonna be an issue 4 u, then erm js don't interact SOB

I don't take requests. I do what I want, when I want >:[

I might spew my own opinionz out there every once anf a while so uhemrnm if you don't wanna see that then js .. don't read them

Normally my stimboards will be based around my hyperfixations and/or special interests. So expect a lot of one's for the same character over and over again !!!

I'm a therian, otherkin, anifaux, and fictionkin, and also im an age/pet regressor. Maybe, just maybe, you shuld take that into account when interactinf.. if ur blog clearly states that u donr want those ppl interacting, then don't interact back

Some of my posts will be made for when I'm regressed or when I am regressed. So childish stuff in them is bound to happen,, let me be free vro

That's about it <33

Ty for reading !!!

[pjsk-writin]

WHOA YOU SAYING IT'S SUPER NEAT MAKES ME SO HAPPY WAAAA

I wanted to get into writing for some time now but the problem is that well.. I'm not lacking with creativity overall since I'm an artist and I do get ideas but when I try to write theres only like just ONE scene in my head and I just cant figure out how to work around it if you get what I mean 😭

I have a whole lot of problems especially with how to start it's so frustrating sometimes 🧍‍♂️

writing and composition is so hard for me like HUH

also it's not like I'm lacking time at all like nah-ah I have alot of free time but the problem is I cant bring myself to do anything at all and keep procrastinating (ADHD) or just start daydreaming for uh... hours on end yea (malaptive daydreaming WHOOOO *colapse*) not like I'm blaming these disorders but that daydreaming problem is actually getting out of hand like atleast 3h a day I just walk circles in my room and imagine stuff 🧍‍♂️

+ I also wanna draw and practice some other things or like play games with my friends but I could be doing so much more if I could just bring myself to it LMFAO

WEHEH OFC !! and OH YEAAA no I totally get what u mean !! as someone who kinda still struggles w the same things, well idk if what worked for me would work for u but lemme give u some things I've done to help !!

the one scene in mind thing is actually the way I write a lot of my works !! it can definitely get to the point where I only fixate on that scene, but to work myself around it, I try to consider what leads up to the scene/the aftermath ! like for a confession scene, what happened for them to start feeling emotions? even for angst scenes, I try to think abt what led up to the big fight and how they are after !

as for starting, honestly the best thing I've done is just. write absolute nonsense or whatever you have on ur mind. yes it might feel dumb but once you find a bit of nonsense that u can build up on, it gets easier and easier to write ! u can always come back later and make it prettier anyway-

honestly i dont have much for procrastination and daydreaming bc. well I still ride the waves of both dhfjdkjf- w the way my brain works, I usually end up fixating on what I'm writing/need to write anyway- it's usually easier to get to writing tho if u just write whatever ur brain is thinking/daydreaming abt ! again I don't have much advice here but thats what works for me !!

SORRY IF THIS IS UNCALLED FOR BTW I just like sharing stuff in case they can help anyone !!

[reel-fear]

bumblebee is used as the kid appeal character in practically every continuity. not only does he have a close friendship with at least one of the human companions (in media that has human companions), he's also written as the youngest of the main group of autobots in order to be more relatable to children. i'm not quite sure where you got the part about him canonically being an adult. if you're gonna say something about him being thousands of years old or whatever, that can't really be used here. cybertronians have way longer lifespans than humans, so they're not gonna go from minor to adult at 18 years old like humans. there's also what you said about bulkhead. having advanced knowledge of one particular thing doesn't necessarily mean a character HAS to be an adult. they definitely can be, but that's not absolute confirmation. after all, raf in transformers prime was a computer whiz and an expert hacker. most kids his age wouldn't know much about any of that, so does that make him an adult? also, like... where was the harassment lol. where did they insult you. they weren't even comparing you specifically to l*lis, they were just saying that the argument people use to justify bl*tzbee is the same one people use to justify l*lis. if people are like, legitimately harassing you, insulting you, threatening you over this, that's their fault for thinking it was ok to do, not littlemisstfp's fault.

they dropped my @ several times, publicly shat on me and gave me no chance to even reply. THEY EVEN ADRESSED IT WOULD'VE BEEN EASY TO NOT PUBLICLY MAKE THAT POST AND TALK TO ME PRIVATELY. It was an impulsive disgustingly awful move to make and yes they did compare me to ppl who like l*lis just by bringing it up.

Anyways if ur gonna tell me tfa bee is a child who has a job nearly got into the military, got stabbed on screen, was shown heavily drinking on screen [which the crew was totally okay with] and got seduced on screen. Well then to put simply the tfa production crew should be absolutely totally fucking ashamed of themselves for never addressing that ever or having anyone express concern over it in the show and tfa is a disgusting show that allowed that shit to happen. We should bring this up to the main writer on twitter and also ask why the main artists drew a pretender bee that looks like this as opposed to the other one that resembles a child that canon already said isnt canon

also if u guys tell me I was defending blitzbee again Im gonna break something, its so clear u guys dont actually think tfa bees a child u just hate blitzbee and want a reason to hate it. Im not a blitzbee shipper it literally just stopped being a ship that upset me to even hear mentioned. This about Littlemisstfp using fandom drama to be a piece of shit to me and the way u guys infantilize Bulkhead and Bee for the simple thing of having symptoms of adhd/autism and no canon evidence to back up the claim they are children when all the evidence clearly shows if they were children TFA Among other things: Never chose to address cybertron having child soldiers while exposing the other ways the autobots were corrupt so ig the crew just doesnt mind that?? Or didnt see it fit to put in the book that also exposed the autobots for literally using slaves?? Just wasnt a big priority??

showed an underaged character being seduced stabbed and getting heavily drunk and none of the characters question this so the entire tfa autobot crew is totally find with that.

put Prowl a clear adult as he fought in the same war so old its what gave ratchet ptsd pouncing on a blushing child. So I guess he's a canon creep and everyones okay with that.

Showed Bulkhead as some sort of super child genius?? Ig they kinda did that with Sari but at least they justified it Bulkhead can build one of the most important things on cybertron in just a few weeks he's like. Really Really knowledgable on this stuff he could make a huge living doing this. Nobody questions that like they questioned Sari on it though not even Ratchet?

Ratchet got angry they used omega supreme as a weapon bc the elite guard made him at an intellect too low to be able to think abt the actions he carried out. Almost like Ratchet was angry they were sending someone immature or young to war? I guess he only care abt it when its a huge mech tho bc he doesnt care abt Bee or Bulkhead being child soldiers so his character gets absolutely destroyed. He's willing to defy the government to save oil slick but not for literal children going to war?

edit: OH ANOTHER THING, Optimus at some point suggests that in a last stitch effort they could try to use Sari as a weapon. Ratchet strikes this down HARD. Once again Ratchet is totally against but also okay with child soldiers? And Optimus only cares abt children when they're organic n tiny ig-

Wasp is a child who went to jail and Ironhide got into the military, theres no questioning of this either. maybe the production crew just really hates children like they hate beachcomber.

SO no matter how u look at it, if bee was a child. Tfa would be a much different show. It would make the crew look AWFUL if this was the case and once again I have not seen any evidence for this that is actually well... Evidence? Meanwhile I've got even more points to make if u wanna fire at me buddy. I'll go at this all day.

[iclaimedtobethebetterbard]

@girlfaglogan OKAY i MEANT to respond to all ur comments as u made them, but then brain said no, so. i am now going to respond to all of ur tag comments from the Lore Infodumping session i have been holding the last few days at once, instead of rbing each individual post and flooding everyone’s dashes. i think i did not miss any, but if i did i apologize lol. here we go (again under a cut bc Long):

#ALSO!! REMUS WHY WOULD U FLIRT W SHAPESHIFTED JANUS WHY NOT JUST. SAY JANUS#remus i understand ur logic (not rlly) but literally evedything couldv been avoided if u were just normal /t (remus)

[post] hehehe ur correct, remus did 100% create this problem unecessarily. however from his own pov in that very specific situation it made sense. bc 1) remus has v strong adhd, so he kept forgetting to ask janus about this, and then remembered Suddenly in the scene where the miscommunication happened and was like “well i am going to do this Now while i still have the Thought in my brain.” 2) remus is extreeeemely sensitive to potential dangers in any situation featuring interpersonal dynamics, bc of his backstory that i am not talking about hehe. so, there being another superhero in the room while janus was shapeshifted registered as a Potential Danger to remus. and when he registers potential dangers like that, he is 100% committed to helping with any kinds of deception that could be protecting someone’s personal safety. so, while trying to check if it was janus or not before he forgot again, remus was also working with the assumption that it was possible janus Didn’t want the other superhero in the room to know who they were, and was like “okay, i need to not risk spilling that for them, just in case.”

so the combination of those two things is why he did the flirting thing instead of just asking. in most other situations he would have asked, but he just kept Not Thinking Of It in those other situations. it was essentially bad luck lol.

#LOGAN HAS MET PATTON. ok well then u have 2 write a scene where hes baby sitting patton.#legally . just 4 me ! /j#theyre such a family im gonna start crying

YEAH hard agree. every comment you made abt the janus & logan & patton family situation is so important and correct. they r precious and they all care abt each other sm.

#I DIDNT GET A NOTIF 4 THIS NOOOO#anyway#uhm. i have lots of things 2 say idk where 2 start#1. listening 2 music isnt 2 hard i promise !#i use spotify so it has like a uhm. discover weekly playlist that updates every monday and has a playlist of songs#based on what u usually listen 2#i also listen 2 a lot of friends recs 4 songs! so when i want a new song ill ask 1 of my friends#or mutuals 'hey do u have a song rec 4 me?" and usually they do!#if u ever need dif music 2 listen 2 plz let me know bcuz i LOVEE music and i love finding new music n genres so i am bound 2 have something#u like#i also look 4 music based on genre / subculture#ex i am punk so i look 4 punk music. i am emo so i look 4 emo music. i have friends who r goth n they look 4 goth music#i like harsh noise (the genre) so i look 4 harsh noise#if u want 2 find new music u shoukd look up different genres n pick 1 and just... type it in2 utube.#u can also branch out from ur fave artists & find what sounds like them.#sorry 4 rambling si long abt. how 2 find music help NDHSKDNSJDN#2. RHYTHMIC NOISES 4 LOGAN IS SO TRUE#i totally think he likes experimental music like harsh noise and electronica#and splittercore and speedcore and and. i could go on and on abt logans music tastes i rlly think he liks NOISES!!#ur so right...#3. fun fact: u dont have 2 put logsn thru that#i mean like. ableism towards autistic ppl exist yes but also u can just.... not include it in ur story.. no1 is forcing u 2 put it in#4. i 100% get janus .#was goinf 2 add more but i 4got wverything help#if you're going my way fic

[post]

1) you are literally so sweet thank you for all the advice aaa!! tis very helpful thank u.

2) i am going to look up all of those next time i remember to, but yessss i am glad u agree.

3) that is a good point!!!!!! i thought abt it some more after u said that, and i realized the Actual Problem i was worried about was a) allistic readers making the savant stereotype connection in their heads if i said logan was autistic, and b) autistic readers who don’t know me being concerned that *i* was doing that stereoptype on purpose. so that was the actual problem i was trying to solve. but it occurs to me i could just make a really passive aggressive author’s note about it on any of the relevant chapters instead lol, and that would be much less stressful to write. so i will probably do that instead. yay!!!!

4) im so glad u get that, because i literally had No Idea how to put my point into words there, so im delighted that i seem to have succeeded lol.

#i have many good questions cuz itz called i am autistic n this story is a hyperfixation. i think abt it a lot#constantly#do u know how AWESOME it was 2 come up w/ theories w/ my friends abt janus n going 'what is they had a teen pregancy?"#AND THEN BEING /RIGHT?/#best feeling in the world.#ANYWAY my brain stopped working but all of this is so ciol#so like.#if u have a uterus and ur on ur period u cant... shapeshift 2 make it go away or. can u? im still a little confused#id love 2 know how thatd work . id love 2 know how shapeshifting would work in GENERAL like irl.#NOT THE POINT BUT GESTURES VAGUELY#im just curious cuz like... where does it go#if ur having a period and then u shapeshift. so u rnt having a period. where does... where does it go#how does it. go away like.#HELP IDK HOW 2 EXPLAIN BUT IM JUST. .... its COOL i love thinking abt shapeshifting#also giggling at janus stabbing thingsbcuz hes angry#i think janus should stab ppl rolls eyes. LOGAN !!! LET HER KILL !!!!#if you're going my way fic

[post]

skhksdhklsjfgks 1) yes excellent explanation 2) SAME tho. i think abt this story So much. it’s great. (also. people theorizing about my fics??? is such a wild concept to me????? thats so cool?????)

more clarification about how periods impact shapeshifting powers!! bc i thought abt it more after. so:

shapeshifters cannot stop their period once it has started. they don’t entirely lose their shapeshifting powers, but they do lose some of them. basically, they’re stuck with the same, like, “base” body until the period is over. so they can’t change the height of the body, or the fact that it’s having a period, or its bone structure, or things like its digestive or nervous systems, or things like that—anything the body needs to maintain to run. they can change things like hair, eye color, fat and muscle distribution (to some degree), and so on—anything that’s not integral to the body running. shapeshifting those things is also harder than it would usually be, it takes more concentration and energy. and then once the period is over their powers go back to normal.

for how shapeshifting generally works: the shapeshifter essentially just. imagines the thing they want to shapeshift into. and then they turn into it. they do have to like, make it happen after they imagine the shape they want? like. their brain is making a command for their body to do the thing. kind of like,, intentionally blinking. it feels like that. and then the actual shapeshift happens very fast, like maybe 1-2 seconds for the whole thing. it’s usually pretty easy and doesn’t take much energy, the main exception being if they are shifting to have non-human features (like gills wings etc) or appearances (like making themself be, like, stretched-out-mike-teavee-from-charlie-and-the-chocolate-factory shape). non-human shapeshifts like those do take some extra energy to do, kind of like pushing through a barrier, and the time it takes increases to like 3-5 seconds. also healing by regenerating cells takes more energy and time too. but aside from those cases, and the period case i talked abt in the last paragraph, shapeshifting does not take a noticeable amount of energy. again like blinking. also, shapeshifters can unintentionally shapeshift in their sleep, specifically while they are dreaming. that’s more common for some and less common for others, almost like how sleepwalking is a thing for some people and not for others.

ALSO janus stabbing things is especially funny bc. it doesn’t go with their powers. and it gives them 0 advantage over their nemesis. so there’s literally no reason for them to do it, they just like stabbing things. like, viper (his nemesis) has laser powers. stabbing helps, like, 0% with fighting lasers. janus has like some mirror weapon tool things for when they actually fight viper. and viper now wears protective armor built into her suit’s stomach and chest, and has bracers on her arms. to protect from janus’s illogical stabbing habits. it’s rlly funny.

also, unrelated, but since im talking about viper: she’s a lesbian, and janus is only into men, which both of them are very happy about, because (although janus’s genderfluidity sometimes does make this a tiiiiny bit wobbly, that’s not mostly a problem) it allows them to have all the inherent gay tension of a super nemesis relationship without ever having to worry about actual attraction or feelings getting involved. they’ve literally had whole conversations about this while fighting, and they actually are pretty friendly with each other despite being nemeses. they platonically flirt while trying really hard to beat each other up. they Have given each other relationship advice while fighting before. they have literally so much fun. i love them. im going to see if i can find an excuse to write one of their fights sometimes. it’ll be delightful.

#WHY R U MEAN 2 JANUS PLEASE LEAVE THEM ALONE... /T /NM#also why doesnt janus want virgil 2 meet patton :(#if you're going my way fic#im so tired rn but this is all very cool

>:) but it’s rlly fun to be mean to them lol

part of the answer to the virgil and janus and patton question is spoilers, but also even aside from that bit. janus is a superhero. janus is very protective of their baby. janus does not want the biggest supervillain in the city to ever ever ever interact with their baby for any reason. that’s all the explanation im sharing for now, but there are more specific reasons too.

also i hope u have the opportunity to be well rested soon!!

#I AM EATING RN I CANT TYPE A LOT BUT YAYYy#lovw them lots#so ur ONLY mean 2 janus. giving logan n virgil loving parents but not him.... i see how it is... /j /nm NSHSJDND#if you're going my way fic

no no no no no, im not ONLY mean to janus!!! /lh i have also been Horrifically mean to remus!!!! :) i just haven’t talked about that yet, i’m keeping that a secret until after the next remus pov scene in the fic. after that i will be Happy to talk about it as much as ppl would like me to. but yeah, janus’s trauma does not even hold a candle to remus’s!! :D

[misterbitches]

I ship muren and li cheng bc i only saw it through gifs then i watched this episode cos i was like im only starting this show if they kiss im waiting and they did and it was nice and i got so anxious that i was about to fucking vomit. I really like them together. The top/bottom shit is dumb and i hope if they must mention it they all build a bridge and get over it so they can switch cos who gives a shit. I didnt realize how large they all are like most “tall” men on tv are lying. But bc that kid is so thin and tall and the other one (idk the stepbrother) is huge too. Li cheng is shorter than them both but more ~manly~ but still short so why doesnt he take a DICK UP HIS BUTT XD since that’s all that fucking matters and there’s only 2 genders and 2 eays to have sex lmao so nothing else otherwise ur screwed

Hd a terrible past couple of weeks personally and because i keep seeing my peopl eget murdered and things ripped from us ^_____^ anyway here’s Some libertatrian communist dumb bitch discoars so i’ll tag it:

keep in mind these are my opinions’”” when i engage in discourse. I am not the end all be all and I don’t need you to agree. There’s some shit I am non-negotiable on but thsi is just exchanging of information. Any authoratative tone I take on comes from my beliefs, my life, my experiences, and what I choose to cultivate as a person and an artist. I dont have control over your feelings, you do. If it hurts you then either tell me the issue and be PRECISE about it, understand that context matters which is why i type so much in engagement, and do not fucking lie or misconstrue my words. Do not call me western ever in your life either. I am a black-american. I have adhd and bc i am a black woman if ur automatically thinking im brolic i am accepting money in my paypal for ur wellbeing to get me to shut the fuck up.Thanks.

The stepbrothers storyline is stupid and lazy writing. I really want to counter people that say it’s written well and that it’s interesting because it isn’t. Even if it was illicit and fucked we can write a story out about this. Let’s rethink what they could have done shall we:

- become stepbrothers at about 16 and their parents mismanage the relationship and they fail in trying to get an integrated family together (this is what happened in the #iconic transit girls and that was fuckin’ weird but hey dude guess what we watched it and it was weird but not unethical and we know one is like 19 and the other is 21 and a girl so it’s like wow you avoided so much and handled their stepsister story very…….um lightly given the end lmao but it was there and people had AGENCY)

-OR you realize that freak is obsessed with him and then he realizes it and is like “bitch i swear to god” and in typical shtity trope BL fashion they can find a way from obsession, to loss and independence when you lose your obsession, to “love” if they choose

- have the fucked up shit but make it clear what the issues are and you literally cannot write your way out of it so do not try

But why can’t fucked up things be shown? Also this is realistic.

0. Well according to you but no one said that they can’t. So that’s on your interpretation of critique (that is, again, not bullying or harassment.) They can, i just gave plenty of scenarios in which it is affective and not just annoying to witness, trope-y, and frankly ridiculous and offensive. Sorry! They don’t do it well. You can come up with alternatives too. See #2 btw.

1. No it isn’t doing a good job of reflecting life because life has consequences. The exaggeration in drama doesn’t mean the arc shouldn’t be there. Almost always things that aren’t heavy with the message or meant to be sobering in a deep way are COMPELLING. The realism is the basis for art because we are human. This is not the way real humans act.

Someone said Tharn Type was mature and I had to laugh because no, no one acts that way and is “in love” if they act that way that means they fucking hate each other and they’re immature and frankly it’s just not that interesting for many of us to watch because the dramatization of the “realism” is fucking bonkers. That was such poor writing it is unbelievable and someone has the audacityt o say it’s how real adults act. Fucking murder me if I’m with someone for 7 years and we break up over a miscommunication and for some reason I am not as horny as my always horny boyfriend. The fuck? What kind of lives do you lead? Either you are not an adult or you are an adult who needs therapy.

I also hear the “realistic” argument but then people try and temper it with “but also it’s fiction.” What do you think fiction is? Why do you think filmmaking exists? Number one, it’s propaganda in the sense that you want others to buy into your presentation and see what you see. That means that the creators are telling people and influencing them WITH ART BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT IT IS about their feelings around a situation. That’s why it is imperative to be responsible as a filmmaker and artist and underline the deepness of creepiness if that’s what they want. If they want to relay that rape sometimes ok and psychos are crazy so they get boy (??!?!?!? BITCH?) then they achieved it with no innovative information. We know people get raped bc we are human beings and many of us live with that fear. You know, being the target demo and all. And bc BL loves that trope it’s rape fantasy peddled to young people and women. Just like shitty wattpad fics or NYT best sellers. Hooray, what now? Or are you trying to purport that this isn’t glorified fanfiction? Which it literally is

2. This is the issue with these shows. No one is saying that fucked up shit cannot be shown. There’s a film about a woman who is raped and she falls in love with her rapist (because he was masked but i think we find out later that she knows. Binoche is in it.) I have no desire for that film—i think it’s by a man and i extra dont care—but I hear it’s sort of powerful for many. I heard it was a good film. But the act itself is always eschewed and the conflict comes from how fucking ridiculous it is especially finding out that she knows. The power imbalance adn the possibility. They may not have handled it in a way I would have cared for but it was there.

There’s simply no imagination because these people do not care that much and aren’t great writers and filmmakers because they simply do not have to be. Sorry.

The industry doesn’t rely on the best they rely on efficiency (this is everywhere.) You can tell by the camera angles, the editing, the camera itself (idk if it is multicam but the flatness is typical soap flatness without the glowboxes to soften their faces.) Simple constant lighting. Now the surroundings are mostly beautiful. But even to some of the costumes. And those edits are abysmal, some of that camera work.

So with all that said even with the couple I extremely enjoy I see its (H4) faults. Add into that a lazily thrown together “shocking” love and if they are trying to get us to feel a type of way about its sexiness they fail. This is why movies like 50sog, 365 days, etc aren’t enjoyable to people because it’s fucking strange situations that they dont want to entangle or make enjoyable to viewers across the board. They know what people will take. It’s just that bitch what are we here for if even the sexiness isn’t there for ur stupid story.

At least with that teenager and 30 yr old man in MODC (which i do not love but i like them in theory if it wasnt totally repulsive to me and also if it was developed in a way that was good TO ME) they had their, er, “sex appeal” i talk about this as well the main couple in MODC to me, visually, was a miss. Not bc whatshisface was small and stuff but bc he was so sickly and they needed that to propel the story but it was just not appealing given how the story progressed. A missed opportunity in tying the two together besides making him look waif-y and sickly only to have the “did ur mom die in a car crash? No, cancer” type of move in not another teen movie. But the opposite. And not funny. Wayne tho????? GORL. Eggs. Cracked.

fandoms have a very warped sense of harrassment and discourse.

Most fandoms have harassers who are “protecting” the cast and crew who don’t need their protection (or maybe the crew does since they probably dont get paid well but why the fuck would anyone care about that lol) but very few have the people who have concerns or massive critique about the show are not going to be “bullying.”

If people are saying “if you like xyz, u suck” then sure it may suck for you to see but who fucking cares. Either talk to the person or don’t be friends with them. That is not bullying or harrassment. Things that are shitty get criticized. Fuck, things that aren’t shitty don’t. Get away from this idea of cancel culture and people misunderstanding the story. We have the ability to.

Think beyond your noses of personal preference. You don’t have to convince people of what you believe. Discussing it is good but critique is not bullying, harrassment, or hate. Neither is fucking roasting shit because even this shit I like (manner of death lets say) deserves it. Art is meant to be critiqued and if you dont fucking like the bullshit people make then say it. They know stupid stories like this are scandalous and they don’t give a shit in how to present them.

And guess what? You won’t like everybody. Many people can’t stand me i’m sure. Oh well. I mean frankly I don’t like that and I feel very unsettled when I don’t feel understood. That’s ok! I have to temper it. Sometimes calm myself down. I won’t get anything and everything I want. And you won’t like every opinion and sometimes it’s like “man am i a dummy?” But the part of growing up is fucking maanging that and beng honest about “bashing and harrassment” and “bullying” and growing up. Yuo can like what you want the “let people like what they want thing” is so fucking juvenile and THAT is not the real world. Which is probably why so many people feel that way, they dont want to live in the real world. Unfortunately, you do.

Think beyond our noses of personal preference and what we feel emotionally in conjunction with others. You don’t have to convince people of what you believe. And you can say things that you believe to be true but it doesn’t make them so or maybe it isn’t received that way to people. And many times we learn new things in the discussions “oh shit i didn’t see it that way” right? Discussing it is good but critique is not bullying, harrassment, or hate. Neither is fucking roasting shit because even this shit I like (manner of death lets say) deserves it. Art is meant to be critiqued and if you dont fucking like the bullshit people make then say it. They know stupid stories like this are scandalous and they don’t give a shit in how to present them. Usually the “opposition” in these situations aren’t the popular beliefs that permeate through society. Trust me lmao

Antiblackness

Antiblackness is a thing. It permeates everywhere. It permeates in this genre and it permeates in fandom. Get it the fuck together. Also do not conflate cultural relativism with being repsectful. They are not barbarians, they are smart human beings either making work or deciding to. We all have diff cultures but we have fucking sense in what is respectful and not. And if we don’t we fucking learn. You cannot excuse things and say “oh culture” when you have 0 idea of that culture or actual people who are radical etc and are fighting against it. Additionally the word westerner is an ignorant term when referring to people in the US or UK who are black. Because we are not. We extend sympathy to other groups and empathy since we know so there is no inherent power imbalance between a black viewer and their subject. Don’t suggest that because it’s wrong and ahistorical and contextless.

FIRST the fallacy of representation as freedom makes people fucking complacent, individualistic, and doesn’t let them think critically. Consumption and discourse around consumption is not helping material conditions of the marginalized communities in your home, the black ones who are ignored, those intersectionalized in these communities. Groups talk about art and what it means for them outside of just what we see and because we also don’t have access to a bunch of Thai reviews or what movements or going on we are less likely to know if we don’t FUCKING SEARCH for it. Because art is constant...which leads me to....

Representation is difficult. It matters and it doesn’t.

Tthese shows are not meant to overturn the LGBTQ+ community.

There are queer filmmakers and artists in these countries. Deep illustrious film careers or even TV that is moving and deliberate. We can even see it with the dude from “your name engraved” in their short series he was in beforehand. BL is no wa pejorative because it is simply not “qu**r” storytelling whatever that means. But know it has always existed everywhere and there are also out artists or radical artists in all these countries who do no respect mediums that are cash-grabs and poorly made.

ex: As much as “Like in the Movies” sort of isnt for me and is a bit hamfisted you can tell how much love goes into that. Love of the characters, acting, and message. Yes it’s cringey to see some of the lines (like very tbh subtlety wasnt exactly their strong suit) and yea naming them after lenin and marx is just 0ihgoaudgijposkagjihou BUT GUESS WHAT? THEY FUCKING DID IT. THEY TRIED. And class was a large component as well bc u cant fuckin ignore it. The show is aware of the machinations in its world as a show but also in the philippines and for a fuckin reason. And duatarte? Loooooooool so like yea not so sure bl makes him love his ppl but the show isnt trying to do that

It’s not a transgressive genre and it has no reason to be. No ethical anything under the way we live it’s just trying your fucking best to be. That’s it. They serve societal ills and capital’s purposes. Which is fine but it is not revolutionary.

These countries in SEA or even SA do not have as big budget for even mainstream dramas—though things are changing and that’s bc REVENUE like revenue from kpop is fucking huge for SK and again so much about that is bc of what happened in their history from japanese imperialism to WWII to the US—so for “queer” stuff it is sort of now important to make that an export and it sure is one. Not only globally or to the west but a lot of these places make their money within asia (duh!) outside of their countries. OBVIOUSLY. so BL is a way to output and gain money. The thing is, it doesnt seem to be put back into the industry at all. For people in all these countries to make works that aren’t for mainstream or wont reach as many people there’s a difference between trying and just shoving shit in your face and going here it’s gay you like it right? But dont antagonize the inherent patriarchal nature of BL.

Another thing: did you guys know thailand was never colonized? You should look it up. There’s little hints of things in ITSAY to represent french influence still. Isnt that fascinating? Find out why. It’s certainly interesting that the representation, though damaging and dubious many times and also incorrect like any media, is huge in asia and this isnt a commodity here (the US) exactly. A lot of that has to do with colonial ideas of gender of which I am sure. But listen………lmao

Sometimes people dont give a shit. And it very much shows. Here is the thing once again. GOOD TRANSGRESSIVE WORK exists.

Een within the capitalist Bs paradigm or you can see people trying (I can sort of applaud parts of lovely writer) also queer media has always existed everywhere the reason you don’t know about it is because it gets takena nd commodified into a mainstream product. We hvae little incentive, particularly if we are not fans of cinema or art in gen, to search fror others when the output is right here. Being dictated by others and the state and who will give you money. No longer an effort of a cast and crew who want to convey things. But google [any country] independent cinema, radical cinema, queer radical cinema, or even retrospectives on the cinema and rethinking what is queer and radical in film. What if we took that, diluted it, got rid of the creators who put themselves through all the work, ignroe al the nuances and do……………….two actors who are conventionally attractive with no chemistry making out.

It’s the same here lets say daniel kaluuya winning the oscar for the film about the BPP. I heard it was okay and not too offensive but it still isnt’ enough. It still isn’t like hwood isn’t trash, nnati black, misogynistic towards BW and women, and all that other shit. It was pushy but it can’t be enough where we are. Black KKKlansmen i think won an oscar, by circumstance i fuckin hate these award shows they mean nothing, and i like the film a lot but he has his misogynoir still resting in his films even if it is poignant. And it was a film that honestly wasn’t really made for black people. And should all art be a response to direct trauma or trying to make ourselves palatable when we’re just human?

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ and it’s importance (capitalism) but also sorta individual responsibility

Considering a lot of these actors are rich and then just dip that’s another problem. Mainstream isn’t what sustains marginalized art ever. It doesn’t change in the vast ways we think it does. What changes is the people of these groups pushing, fighting, forcing and then capitalism trying to make it work under capitalism. It will not. It cannot.

This is why artists and labels often don’t mix or you see people like Sonic Youth doing whatever they want and pissing off their label but making them give them money. Same with Nirvana. Vince Staples. The thing is they can fight and make good shit but what capitalism helps people….not care? They don’t respect the audience? We’re getting those returns on poor executed product placement, lighting, editing, framing, fucking acting. And you surewon’t see mixed black asians in these shows. WHY R U is the oNLY one i have seen it in and he just disappears (but that was pretty cool.) so who the fuck is this representing? And before you start: asian countries are not homogenous the way we believe them to be. There are marginalized communities outside of even mixed people that are harmed. So you can skrrt cause on that one: you’re wrong buddy. But it gives us the IDEA of a paradise which is what they NEED.With representation and visibility comes consequence and responsibility as artists. What it allows them to do is coast and not think complexly because why should they; it’s mostly the fantasies of some older woman who probably has money and much less interaction with the world. It’s bonkers. And what that allows even further is for them to say YOU ARE THE THING THAT YOU CONSUME and the THING THAT YOU CONSUME IS YOURS. It is not, it is not your identity, form a close bond but figure it the fuck out. Especially for adults who are hellbent on twisting their minds into pretzels and can’t acknowledge what’s just laziness in art and not giving a fucking shit. Truly.

There’s damage that has been done from Parasite as he was supported by CJE&M and the bullshit obsession america had and eveyrone’s poor interpretation of it if they are rich. BJH is a socialist and he is a filmmaker. He has made films that are outstanding and cost a lot of money. But now a fear for indie filmmakers is just not being able to raise that much or have that much attention. Getting funding that helps them instead of expecting the Next Big Thing that is a fad because capitalism is trash. Yes this funneling of money is absolutely harmful to us artists. Even buying in is strategic. Additionally, that film is probs one of the most radical films to have that wide release and accolade (unlike “Sorry to Bother You” which i have a lot of thoughts about. One being that asian exports are acceptable but black ones are not. This is an overall art critique and global media critique. Blackness is removed, not respected.) However, filmmaking isn’t green, it can’t be socialist, and it’s a lot of work. They used tons and tons and TONS of water to do a huge beautiful feat but we still know there is a cost. We have to figure that out because it shouldn’t be. It doesn’t go back into the crew’s pockets the way it should and the work becomes that of the director’s and actors solely. It’s fucking hard. We have to do our part but it doesn’t mean we are doing it perfectly. We just have to try to do better. So does BJH cos he needs to not be a misogynist but anyways i digress.

additionally and this is something some users fail to understand: people in the media sphere generally have fucking money. I went to film school that was international with super fucking rich kids. Taiwanese kids, kids from south asia, china, thailand. They had money. No not upper middle class money, not “rich” money, not some paltry 1m that’s chump change. Fucking money. Fucking RICH-RICH. MILLIONAIRES. BILLIONAIRES. WHICH IS DISGUSTING MIGHT I ADD. The domestic people didn’t have the money for school (in the UK) and i am in a massive amount of debt like every other black student that went there. You do not understand how much money is needed to survive so people who turn to these crew positions even casting etc need this fucking money usually. OKAY. A lot of the people that do well in these dumb shows or even on a larger scale HAVE MONEY. The reason these industries are small and struggling is because of lack of people and lack of resources to independent shit because oh gee it takes money to make things.

Why should I try? Well you don’t have to really if you have money or a name. Yet...

We can tell when like those Tik Tok shows or DCOMs dont give a shit (anymore.) You know how frustrated we get when content for young people is garbage? Well, see, BL is literally that under that system. Occasionally we will get something good now but there is virtually no need in any sector in the world at this point to truly figure out how to make it better and what to do to enhance artistic literacy, outreach, teaching people new things, getting people from these communities there and having true realistic says. Art and culture is IMPERATIVE TO WORLD LIBERATION but not when it is so stiffly trying to bend to capital’s idea of progressiveness. No. Neoliberalism. No.

That’s why in a way ITSAY is a huge feat; it takes from films etc and they clearly had money (the actors rae rich too which….lmaooooo j’aime pas) but it was a respected fucking script, acting was important, blocking, framing. There’s very little to critique as a visual medium for that because I understand what they are trying to do, their market is going to be mostly young girls, but they RESPECT THE FUCKING AUDIENCE. And guess what guys? You can make money from it!!!! WOAH! Since that may be the only goal which is disgusting and repulsive.

HOWEVER AND THIS IS WHAT IS SAD: itsay is an ex of a great show however knowing the actors backgrounds and the pseudo trouble it stirred when they weren’t supporting people protesting against the coup in the summer it really put a damper on my enjoyment. And this is how we can see that:

a) it’s honestly just a show and a good one but b) now what?

These kids (actors, who are like idk 19? 20?) are rich and not saying anything while countless actors, who were filming, did. Even tul who has $$$$ and the thing is the protesting against the coup legitimately attacks the rich. As it should. The protests going on were cries for help, against a dictatorship and fucking coup, asking people to get fucking help for covid, having kids be able to live. There’s a mini on VICE about this and it probably doesnt go too in depth but there’s a kid in there who talks about his friends getting into drugs and how he just wants to make music, have fun, skateboard. And it’s harrowing to see. This is a direct example of what these things do and don’t do. Yea we know a good show is here, we know growing up and slice of life, we know this is a bit of escapism and idealism but the idealism is reflected in the way these actors also choose to live their lives. So what progress? To who? For who? How is this helping me? What purpose does it serve? I say ITSAY serves its purpose as a piece and a glimpse into possibility of growing up but i do not say it antagonizes a broader issue that needs to be relevant in some sense but simply is not. It’s very singleminded and, well, it’s sort of like “besides my sexuality, what do i have to worry about?” But for real humans like....a lot. I do not respect their decision at all.

Why can’t we do our jobs and make something decent and respect our audience? No time, gotta make that sweet sweet sweet cash baybee. Look how progressive we are! Don’t look at history and material conditions. Thanks in advance, management.

History 4 does not have that respect. Many of these shows do not. Sometimes we hit good, sometimes we don’t. But in the end we cannot settle. And I won’t. If I am critiquing something I will not be shy and if I am meant to enjoy something as escapism then these shows NEED to highlight that and it’s rare sometimes (the best twins is a good reminder like that show is bad but man do i Brain Empty when i turn it on and i like that and there’s not much in it that makes me want to kill myself from annoyance but there are transphobic jokes i dont love however the whole show is a comedy about this dude’s crazy homophobic sister and she is constantly positioned as wrong and they talk about the aforementioned trans women as the actor was in drag. Interesting that they can manage that, huh?)

Oh btw.....taiwan has a very complicated history but ignore all the bad stuff it’s good now you can kinda sorta get married and stuff. KMT? You know how i learned that? I care about human beings and read about it lmao. I am not Taiwanese and look at that. So now I have historical and DIALECTICAL~**~*~****~*~*~ context so i can judge it as an artist, a black woman from america, and from the knowledge i have to pick up on their history to see if this fits into a broader picture besides the micro-one of sexuality on an individualized level. And this is kinda where it comes full circle: these shows are not you, you are not them, they do not exist in a vacuum because nothing does. The failure to critique now means continuing on as it has and it will still do so. History and time are not linear in the sense we think it is. Someitmes things are better, sometimes things feel more austere. We are not living under liberation though and these shows are not going to do so. So they are not US nor are they for a nebulous “us” of which the groups are all fractured and have diff opinions anyway (my opinion as a black american is going to vary from an asian woman’s say and that could really clash and i do not feel solidarity with all those in every community i am for several reasons.)

Final thots that have taken up my time and the only thing i actually wanted to write but got distracted:

Anyway my dissertation is that I ilke Muren and LiCheng a lot a lot and i like how cute they are and how truly dumb li cheng is. This is an example of mostly good writing, decent actors, nice chemistry, and sort of a calmness to them. And I super enjoy how Muren is pretty forward with LC in the sense that being together is like very important to truly be together. When he was like “no i didnt forget!” Or when LC asked him something in the office I forget it was 6 am and again i almost threw up and muren nodded and then LC leaned on him. Very cute. I want more of them tho i may have to skip that othre couple (the cameo the ones from MODC) but omfg the younger one HIS HAIR GREW SO MUCH HE LOOKS SO MATURE AND CUTE OMFGIJ0HUG9SAOGIJPKOAGJSIOHUAGIJP hahhaha the one good thing i will say about THEM.idk how old the actor is i figure he was young idk it makes me happy to see him he’s very cute. I hope he’s in something i can watch and not gag at. Is he hot? Who knows but he is a cutie!!

Anyway muren and lc have a good thing going it’s nice to watch ho\pe they dont fuck it up but im truly a sucker for some true finds 2 luvas i think some user on her\e was like i’m not a fan of friends ot lovers bc it doesn’t seem like they’re actually friends and maybe they were referring to this show idk. But it made me think and it was a very good observation. So i think they are friends and also luvrs <3

[bunnykitty13]

Oh it's probably not art coma then ajshskjdjdjd I'm sorry!! I just see a lot of artists talking about how they start drawing and then suddenly it's been 5 hours without eating or drinking anything and they've done one or more drawings without remembering working on them at all. I've also seen it called an art trance lol I just say it's my brain going into autopilot when I'm drawing and then boom suddenly I have art done

i mean that has definitely happened to me, i have adhd as well so if im really in the groove ill space out like that too! so no worries at all ^_^

its just been the past few months ive been disassociating completely and feel like rather than blacking out, somebody else is drawing or taking the wheel from me ;_;. so its definitely not just art coma but i get what ur saying!!

[angelblumes]

food ment. Helllooooooo ugh would you like me to beat her up perhaps end up like her namesake, og mischa?(jk im not a (cannibal)) time to bust out the therapy voice tho , you will find your people and they will love you. Ok. ok wtf is happening? are we like the same person or something? wellbutrin buddies ❤ my room needs to be clean and moved the whole sha bang but I cant😔 life needs to be lived and such. I hope you arrived safely and happily and that everything is slightly better for you than it was last message and that you didn't get too carsick. my power went out today for like 3 seconds everything turned off everything , it usually takes alot for that to happen for my house just because its old and other reasons that I dont actually know. I've had a jam out session yesterday, it was so relaxing 😌 🙌 danced my little heart out to them guys I told you about. There's something abt the murders in hannibal that just does it for me... the artistry of it all. I love it when we talk outside of the 5 daily things too!!! hey, did you get that 'you're so mature for your age' as a kid or 'you've got an old soul' ? whats ur thoughts on that? I personally cant really imagine saying that to a kid maybe its a generational thing? ok 🙄😁 I like commentary ive been watching reactions? on youtube its a guilty pleasure, also I've been getting into some reality tv. Wife swap is crazy I love it alot and then the dating ones because ofc. whats one of the 1st reality show you remember watching and not hating? Honey Boo Boo and I Am Jaz (I think?) were my top two choices of reality. maybe a rewatch is in order for me. ok daily things um a guitar got brought into my house today i... its very.. it made me weirdly happy I love music and its instruments. thank goodness tbh my med were just a little later than usual, the pharmacy gave me emergency 3 days for they can figure out whats up because this is the second time we are having the same problem 😅 I had the best brownie of my life, it was store bought but like from the bakery fav dessert. I got this "new" shirt on so comfy, its tie dyed splattered different blues with an astronaut and nasa logo in white, its cute but also like 3? sizes too big (its a hand me down) dont worry abt the guy if a next time happens ill be ready for it 💪 it will go down, I personally know the man's family I will ruin his life if it comes down to it (we live in a town idk if it's small)or realistically just sic my family onto him. I found out my cousin has a gf now and is apparently very much happier than she was with her ex man (who made awesome cheesecake btw off topic tho) gay people stay winning, I did not know she was not straight tho so happy little surprise 😁 jeez its a lot of words uh I hope you're doing good and you had a good sleep and other nice stuff happen to you and you had a good trip🌷🤟🤙❤

HELPPP u are an angel. thank u❤️. and right exactly. normalize thinking fictional murders are artistic or something . thinkin abt how i used to think criminal minds murders were interesting but never had the right words so i'd just be like "woah he *kills them weirdly*? cool"😭. BUT YEAH i did get that all the time omfg "ur so mature for ur age!!" like thanks it's because i have issues and problems 💀....hmm i hate reality tv HAHA. this gc i'm in was just talking abt wife swap the other day how crazy !! idk if i've EVER liked reality tv .... i like watching commentary abt it (like uhh cody ko's stuff) but watching it myself... nope😭. daily things lets see!!! i went to the baltimore aquarium:) i was exhausted tho. saw that a tiktoker i like (hello fem will graham cosplayers...) went there a few days before me. how funny! i wish we had met and fallen in love or something. i went to bed at 5pm yesterday and slept til 3am. then went back to sleep from 6am to 10am. i think my new adhd/anxiety meds are the cause. sadly. cuz they work! but by making me too tired to be nervous or start thinking too much🥲. i'm tired 24/7 already and thats not helping LOL! i had this fancy meal ok multiple fancy meals and it was really nice. i got chesapeake chicken (haha like chesapeake ripper am i right?!?) and it had crab but i'm crazy i'm crazy i didn't eat the crab. the texture was soooo bad. anyway at another place i got a burger bc i'm lame i don't eat seafood (besides shrimp. which i am allergic to.) and i ate almost the whole thing and my friends mom said she was proud of me😭❤️. i always feel so guilty after eating a lot and that made me feel good. i've started watching more vampire video game play throughs. what can i say. vampire masquerade: bloodlines did something to my brain where i like vampire games now. it's the same guy which is cool. i dont like finding new youtubers becuz i've never kept up w whose problematic or not... like what if i get really into someone and mention it and someone's like oh yeah he preys on women. wtf. like umm cry? is he a youtuber? is he evil? cuz i was looking for a pathologic gameplay and he had one and i was like hmm... he sounds familiar. he has probably done something ? maybe? mm lastly.... i read this hunger games hannibal crossover WEEKS AGO but it's just still on my mind. i don't particularly love the hunger games but it's only bc i don't really know a lot abt it. i enjoy it but i've only seen the movies and read the first book (until rue died. never picked it up again after that! i cried a lottttt) and there's like an absurd amount of hannibal crossovers. i guess bc hannibal would totally rule in the hunger games. like come on a CANNIBAL? the uh.. capitol? they'd go crazyyyy for that. the fic itself wasn't even that groundbreaking or anything i have a lot of criticism for it tbh but it opened my brain to the concept. i have another one opened in a tab but it's super long so i haven't made much headway. i want one where it's like.... the one where the old winners come back for a game! and then they escape😈. but in the one i read will and hannibal sort of just escape anyway in a normal hunger game. like ok cool but i don't think that's plausible. but then how would it work ? like could will win a game on his own? maybe i should write my own fic. but then i'd have to understand what happens in the hunger games /j. ugh ok i was thinking abt that one scene where idk they do the little hand signal thing and drag katniss away and go to shut the door like right as they shoot that guy in the head. THAT WAS SO CRAZY. or when katniss shoots the lady instead of president snow and then everyone just descends on him💀 i feel like there's a level of nuance and understanding that i just don't have so i say "woah! cool :)" i hope ur doing well too ily❤️❤️💗

[thepucegoose]

was tagged by @scifistudies bc they’re v cute

Rules: Tag 20 followers you’d like to get to know better

Name: Kit

Nickname: people call me Kit-Kat sometimes :D also at school they sometimes called me Reedy-Boy which i think was supposed to be an insult but i loved it

Gender/pronouns: they/them pronouns, i reckon i’m nonbinary bc i feel kind of like a girl and kind of like a boy and sort of neither idek gender is weird

Zodiac sign: cancer

Height: i’m v nearly 5′7″

Sexuality: sexuality gets kind of weird when gender gets all muddled but basically generally Girls u kno? i just say i’m gay

Languages spoken: english and i can speak conversational bsl (just about). i also know a tiny bit of french and an even tinier bit of hebrew. i can read welsh pronunciation and say i want toast which is p much all i need to know i reckon.

Favourite season: autumn

Favourite fruit: raspberries

Favourite scent: my mum’s baking in the oven 

Favourite colour: yellow!!!

Favourite animal: just Animals u kno

Dogs or cats: dogs,, but also,,,,, cats

Coffee, tea, hot chocolate: tea pls

Average hours of sleep: 8-ish? i try to aim for 9

Favourite song: i really love music oh man, this is Not a comprehensive list. i love allll grace petrie songs but especially maggie thatcher’s dream, the best thing i never had, the distance, and sunshine (it physically hurts to only write four there). i also really like the mountain goats; my fave song of theirs is maybe dance music. also: california and the circle game by joni mitchell; supernatural by ken ashcorp; mary mccaslin’s version of living without you; ain’t life sweet by penny lang; letter from america by the proclaimers (i’ve seen them live!! this is what happens when ur mum is scottish); the binding of isaac by schmekel; broken things which was part of the sweet liberties project; girls by the 1975; and two of us by the beatles. i like so many genres but i definitely have a Type when it comes to my faves.

No. of blankets you sleep with: one but w another at the end of the bed. it was crocheted by my great-granny.

Favourite fictional characters: starsky my boy i love him so much im gon cry (also hutch i love him too). jim kirk (from the original series of trek), jamie mccrimmon (from classic who), bunny manders (from the raffles series bc Bunny Is Nonbinary), jadzia dax (from deep space nine), also i’m still getting to know him and he’s a mess but i love fox mulder (from the x files)

Dream trip: I like going to northern france and also scotland w my family but I reckon it’d be cool to visit the states too.

Dream job: rn i want to be a carpenter and build kitchens.

Blog created: i made my first blog in 2012 but idk when i made this one.

Favorite artists: i like leonardo da vinci just bc i think he’s wildly relatable like my boy started so many paintings and only finished 12 he was so adhd.

Favorite books: i like maurice by e.m. forster. even tho it’s Problematic [tm]. also there but for the by ali smith and the don camillo stories by giovannino guareschi. i like david sedaris’s stuff a lot too and i’ve met him!! i’m reading meddling kids by edgar cantero atm and it’s a queer pastiche of scooby doo and the famous five and it’s stunning? it’s about this group of folks who were teen crime fighters in the 70s but it’s set in 1990 and one of them’s dead but Nate’s still talking to him lol and honestly it’s So Good. 

Why I made this account: bc im trash for hyperfixations and tumblr is a Terrible Enabler. 

Followers: 51!! i’m only v small and it’s a relatively new blog. 

I tag:

@monsterhuntingsince93 @thepucegoose @desdoesstuff

if anyone else wants to do it just say i tagged you im so terrible at tagging people and also there’s no obligation if i have :D

[misterbitches]

some thots. having a bad time so this is rougher than usual. oh well

....

i guess he really does know hiim best cos if that was my mans (man specifically cos if anyone else did that id take it more srsly) i would be like oh my god ur singing me a love song? i would love it but i woudl SCREAM in embarrassment. UNLESS it was a really deep love song that's about us dying together.

like i want to eat ur skin type of thing (drain u nirvana) lmaoa but i really like this song it reminds me of that velvet underground song (the only one i know cos of juno lmao) and nico or whatever 'i'm sticking with you)

my adhd would be out of fucking control i had to spend my time listening to this looking around i kept getting distracted by a tissue and thinking "wow this song is nice but i wish it would end bc i am getting distracted" and lo and behold i paused it and i have to pee and i know it's gonna take forever to undo this

ok about 12m later i turned it back on and they kissed and then he bit the corn then that night li chen also lost his virgin teas after watching gay porn and being like "hm interesting" and he'll be like "i see, ur dick is not medium sized"

i'm honestly gagging i cannot at this 12 year old marrying his mom

beautiful theyre beautiful

ayea you fucking psycho we do too because he was 17 and we had to witness it (or well, other people did cos i didnt watch the show even tho wayne song is [BEEEEEEEEEEEEEP BEEEEEP BEEEEP] and i want him to [BEEEEEEEP] and ppl even liked it which is fine like i get it in theory but they put this in my eyeballs so i'm gonna make fun of it bc it's fuckin DUMB lmao like i can't I CANNOT and he said "u were so persistent" BITCH UR 30??!?!???!?!?!?)capi hve it on mute and i tried to get a screencap of li chen and mu ren like together and not just his face but i cant find the timestamp and seeing their faces as they get married is literalyl traumattizing i'm like scremaing at my screen going "HE'S 5 HE'S 5 HE'S 5" and every time theyre like "we acn live forever together" like no bitch ur bones rae creaking

also is the officiator white? if anyone knows why or if that's common i'd love to know more. EDIT: HE ISN'T I JUST THOUGHT HE LOOKED LIKE MOBY FROM THAT ANGLE

anyway here

i'm almost done with this fucking bullshit and i am in a really ould mood and usu they make it a bit better but imo it's kind of....annoying i guess balancing all these story elements and introducin gother couples (even in the periphery) since the story in itself can't focus. i feel like all in all the time spent with these two is a lot more limited and we get the feel for the rship because of their chemistry as actors, irl chemistry as friends and colleagues, and hopefully being happy and working on a good set. so it isn't the strength of the writing or production.

for some reason they get like less dynamic ways of being together which i think is part of their charm, they do things their own way, but the writers really should have substantiated this more. it's really just the way everyone in the show has managed to deliver these AWFUL story lines and production decisions (like seriously who the fuck was on costume? lighting?)

like maybe hot take but all the moments that are cringe and insane in the show are not pleasant, per se, because they aren't thought out clearly. so they're not a joy to watch in the normal sense but the actors are good enough to pull it off. i didn't cringe at the talks they had because it felt like actors like acting these lines out instead of us being embarrassed for it and you CAN TELL theyre embarrassed.

this is a huge kudos to the casting director and the actors and whatever crew that actually did a good job. i don't particularly like watching bo xiang and his grandfather husband not because of the content but because i feel like, to me, they're so awkward even though they have chemistry. i don't have that issue with xing si and his rapist brother boyfriend because watching them is actually really pleasant, it's intimate. this isn't to do with the story though because when it hits you how devoid this other person is and how stupid the situation is it changes (for me, for me, for me, this is all my opinion think whateverrrr u want im not telling u 2 ok!)

so truly kudos to this cast. idk if i'm misremembering here but imo the most cast appropriate series in this was crossing the line and close to you. one is a decent atmosphere and execution (yes even with that brother story line, notice the major key differences though because that's a sincere false equivalence. they try to execute power imbalances soooo badly and then fail every time but here's one meant to shock too and it was just likelmao ok girl?)

it may not make sense to say either in a writing way or for the character to do it but i believe that whoever the characters these people are supposed to be especially those super not well written on the page still get that message aacross (yong jie's actor is a good ex. not sure if i should ccongratulate him for having the worst job on earth and the worst character and his character is flat but. ostensibly they should let their actions speak for themselevs but what they do is they back themselves into a ccorner with unsuretyabout their characters or a dilemma that pops up they just want to excuse it. well guess hwat u couldnt do enough legwork. but to some extent the disposable side couple works here on a um "our eyes see them and get it" way

also to me it seems like they chose this story just to have this specific wedding. like it's a timely topic and i'm pretty sure like another provision? (correction? idk) was made WRT taiwanese same-sex marriage so it's topical but it isn't like a "papa and daddy" situation where they're interacting in it and there (for ex: the pride parade) and there being like real life terms and consequences. here it seems like they were like ah yes wedding ah yes dumb couple from modc bc we kiled off the other one sooooo (then outsource them to life love on the line u__u) then hamfisting in some fucking message which is funny bc

- despite the hints peppered in and the clear attraction they both acknowledge ur like ~not gay just him~ even tho...i mean i just. again they dont read over what they write i don't think considering. but wahtever.

- the only gay dude (verbally said) is with his rapist brother with an awful power dynamic oh or IS a rapist (gao) (or his brother but i think it was just a "im a psycho so it's him" thing unless they said it. in which case idc cos i wasnt paying attn but that's also not great) or i guess the wedding but like....that's also a ridiculously inappropriate and dumb relationship taht it's built on. i mean i don't really see much respect her so i dont particularly want to hear abt gay weddings being important when they didn't even utilize it in the story beforehand and have we ever. this is a huge indication to me that it was a reverse engineered chosen story beforehand (if it was one) or thought of

soooooo

so reversal of that....it didnt give us enough time to breathe with these two at all but for both of the actors they can capitalize what's on the page and the writers didn't. like their dynamic is very i give/you give like taking car eof each other etc that's why

again, no artist worth their salt will ever say their work meant nothing. that's a cover up. i'm sick of lazy production and then getting away with it claiming being subversive or attacking an issue by not doing anything. we show crazy shit all the time but it has a POINT and ur point is "i like the gays" then girl.....i mean it's not great

but the acting really carried it. i have a feeling if this series continues it might continue to use more experienced actors cos maybe the budget goes up but they also have less inhibitions now when it comes to acting. i like the way li chen expresss himself and teng teng too. i like anson a lot and there's some angles that did not do any favors and i think eh has to get more control of his body movements (bc he's SO LARGE and thin) but he wasn't bad at all and there were real human tears. of course i, personally, favor charles tu. he has more control over his body because he has...less to work with and he's a bit bigger and he was really great in this role. he's a himbo a bit of a meathead but you like him. you like them. there's some things i think they had them say and do that they wouldn't let happen if they stuck to the characters and the story (mainly liking that dumb idiot rapist)

what i notice is that the reprehensible actions people criticize others for in the show and in real human life lalways gets turned around. teng teng being surprised that this boy's grandfather boyfriend met him when he was a junior in high school and he's 12 years older and him apologizing for being shocked and then whatshisface going "ur better at it than most people" and then the convo about gao with whatshisface and then rapist brother comes to pick him up. they are admonishing gao but thinking that rapist brother is noble for doin gwhat he did (and oh rapist brother shows up) like the hypocrisy and the decisions are immense. so now it's like "guys see he's a great guy" like girl STICK TO SOMETHING but whatever so i live in this universe where muren and li chen do everything right and have lots of different interesting fun seex with all their friends. i would write this but i cannot i am dying

[misterbitches]

Hello! @flootweed replying to the post from before. the long format was killing me. why does tumblr look like this...

I haven’t watched episode 8 yet...or have I? If it’s the most recent one. No.

Is the hornbill a bird? It probably is but I have a terrible memory and I’m dumb so. I skipped the last few weeks because I’m scawwed. How are you liking it? I did see someone say that the hornbill makes sense (without knowing what it is...at all) bc heart transplant patients only live like 5-15 years after but someone in those comments pointed out that he was so young when he got his and that’s pretty rare so he has a higher likelihood of survival. Frankly, this is the only way I will proceed. Since when did shows ever care about the heart transplant health? Never and it needs to stay that way!

What did we think of ep 6? LMAO. I need opinions! And omg it makes me feel special when I can point things out to people because I so...rarely get to LOL. Editing is like one of my favorite things ever so I can be super particular about it but I try to do the thing you do when you’re supposed to see if it works within its context. I’d like to go in with scissors and glue but alas. 

THe mic covering....the rustling....it’s like guys...please. Ironically the audio today wasn’t great. I don’t know why. IDK if you watch c-dramas but I am not even sure what’s worse between them because they dub their dramas. But actually no it’s best to have the dubbing because even tho it is painful they have to put a lot of effort into it. LOL. 

Right? @ Aey! It’s just weird if they would show us more about what he’s done instead of saying he’s done sth bad and not even explaining that....like you could even do some shitty exposition. I think if he is to be a true villain then we really need to be privvy. All the warnings make it seem like he’s a fuckin’ serial killer so when we get the scene of him at home it’s like....actually this is really serious? Maybe his pain is like...for a reason. Althought you won’t even TELL US WHAT HE’S DONE WRONG BESIDES BE JUST FUCKING WEIRD AND ANNOYING! So from what we have it’s just a realllllllll fucked up sad person lol. god i forgot about the dinner! and i totally agree. he really needs them to succeed. i like your theory because it would make the scene where he like blocks the twitter user make more sense. he also says they dont really know each other etc so it’s realllllyyyyy probable that he just sees it as a way out. if not then we shall pretend u wrote it :)

god yea i wouldnt say it is art but i also guess we technically have to since it is technically. in the way that technically performance artists are artists but mostly i uh technically ignore them. Also one of my fav BLs is called the best twins. If you do not know what it is I will not elaborate further.t 

i want to know more abt poli sci majors lmao but they sound DRAMATIC/ hopefully most ppl in ur cohort arent losers! 

hahahha i understand. there was just a thing on twitter about DSA and then the day before about reading discourse. the same thiings. over. and over. and over. and over. we are our own worst enemies but also our own best friends? but i hate tankies and that wont change. but hasan’s a decent guy. he said sth abt black ppl during biden’s primaries in GA or whatever and i was like chill. but he’s insecure and has adhd which means ur more open to being wrong and changing otherwise u will suffocate and die. 

and totally about hiding fuck ups. i’ve tried really hard bc of organizing IRL to like...be honest, question, etc but also like...approach it naturally? because if you’re trying to be perfect and so worried you’ll fuck up you don’t realize that puts  more stress on you, makes you seem like a robot, and could potentially not make you realize the mistkaes you made. also if we’re privileged in certain spaces there is just no possible way we won’t get something wrong. im light and i know that honestly any way to speak up on colorism is going to be difficult and that’s a space where i have power so i just have to figure it out. we should be uncomfortable because we have to sit with unpleasant feelings and sort through our own whatever. that just makes the next time even better and people can trust u more.  i think some people sweat it sooo much or maybe they think their personal life and what theyve been through is more the norm? on the other hand people can be sf reactionary in the worst way and idk what their issue is. there was also a user who said sth very inch arresting about tankies which i thoroughly enjoyed (how like violent lefitsts or tankies / ppl who are like ooh a gun whatever just want to be violent in another space so they have shit tendencies from jump and nothing of substance which i think i agree with tbh fo ra lottttt of ppl. like their anger is actually like “no im about to beat that ass” instead of what we actually want to get done) 

sort of in the same vein re: taking it easy...we coudl all be more understanding too. to slow it down like you mentioned about not being privvy to fucking eveyrthing and saying anything on our mind. i saw this person talk about y2k which was a huge deal while happening bc it was the turn of the millenium (bruh were u even alive?) but this twitter user grew up in a super super SUPER religious household and was like why do ppl make jokes about Y2K it was insanely traumatizing? though my first instinct was confused ive tried hard to like look more before i judge especially thanks to a friend of mine. turns out that with the further reading the more we found out he was just really traumatized; it was very common in religious households to be afraid of 2000. so we could have come at him with no understanding and he could have thought that everyone had the same experience with that year that he did. his feelings sit precedent though but i think it was just very hard for him to fathom. 

i didnt reply bc he didnt need that and what could i have said? he’ll see what the truth is with exposure and unfortunately this was something he really did go through. 

and that’s what makes most people think others could be over the top. because it sounded ridiculous but then it was this huge traumatic thing that we could have never known about. so maybe when someone sounds like actually crazy they have an explanation? of course some ppl are just batshit or annoying but that’s anywhere not just leftists it’ just means more i guess when a ~~librul is annoyed~ but it can be easy to want to make fun of ppl too. lmao.  basically what i am saying is the internet? especially twitter? for leftists? in this economy? bitch it’s the wild west out here.

i am 29! idk if i said it or not. i am OLD u probably werent even born in the year i was talking about wah. i know not old-old or old at all but compared to you i’m due for a colonoscopy.

omg i hope u can get vaxxed soon! are you wfh rn? i hope ur also not in a bad state as in state state not state as in ur being :| bleh what a fucking time. it sucks that you have to fucking do work. well unless u like school. which i hope u do. i just assume everyone hates it cos i did lmao

was it the lindsay ellis drama? that bitch is dumb. if there was other drama oh wait the drama i was referring to it all happened on the same day. idk book twitter that well but i saw something from someone who was abt that shit and wowie! the american people are not that.....intelligent to put it lightly.

i’ll get better. ppl tell me they miss me and im like aw. i have insanellllyyy bad insomnia and a lot of stuff happened this year HOWEVER I SLEPT FOR TWO DAYS FOR 8 HOURS AT A REASONABLE TIME. im a new woman.  anyways you too! i hope ur not too burnt out with school. we just dont know when the burnout is or we just dont know we are burnt out until we are. the panaramiciccici hit and all the things i was ignoring kind of just fell on me and sooo much happened at once. and frankly it’s hard to take care of ourselves. lord. 

Like if you aren’t interested in expanding on the issue in a way that hasn’t been done before all you gotta do it like… spread resources and donate if you can. I dont see the point in having to say something about every issue especially if you (not at you specifically just in general) aren��t immediately impacted by the issue. Like is the 14 yr old white marxist named sarah on twitter really gonna have meaningful insight on anti-asian violence ?

this is part of why i cannot telecommunicate. i dont want to do shit on the internet. i am able bodied so i know that this time has been of such ease for other people. but mentally i just can’t. i don’t have a comment on hand like that and i hvae no desire to engage with ppl that way. i am a super super super solitary person but thats bc it’s MY time so when it’s like all this effort with other people i dont ever want to be alone. it’s the same with the way i approach filmmaking. it isnt a sole thing so i hate it not together. that’s part of how u can get so sucked in and repeat doom scrolling. i was in this webinar last may after [redacted] and this black woman prof said “read with a community and talk” because otherwise she said we are torturing ourselves. you can’t carry that weight all on your own. unfortunately i hate zoom, discord, slack, signal, whatsapp, facetime. you name it this panera has made it evi.. L

you make a really excellent point. i think the young young gen zers are really really just interesting because it’s like this whole new world for them with leftist politics and they just can’t grasp the horrors of the world and the kind of freedom being a leftist can bring. and so many people don’t grow out of it. those people so happen to be the “least productive” in terms of how much time they spend IRL withe these issues. naturally, younger kids are gonna have a harder time. they are not as mobile as well so the internet becomes this place. but then it’s this echo chamber. and many times just things posted without sources. and social media NEEDS that to exist.

i think of the irony of leftist kids on tik tok and while i am happy it’s reaching them it’s just....different. very different. the growth of social media is so good but also so fucking sad, it’s too much! i think the point about not writing everything is major. even i have to do this which is part of the disappearing.y ou need to detach and make sure your head is on straight again. but when you think eveyrone has to be privvy to every thought and you can’t just sit back....which twitter and social media doesn’t encourage. you have to join in. that’s often why when i have something to say it is dense because i don’t feel like repeating it. ever. lmao ust ever. i cant pay attn. social media is a fucking minefield for my brain u can get so lost in it and absorb it but once u start talking you may not be able to stop. 

i think a big part of that is it not being a leisurely thing but sort of just in our lives always. this sounds like a grandpa rant but ykwim. We dont have to see the same thing over and over again. And eventually it gets sincerely diluted or its diluted bc of capitalism or whatever. Or if theyre very young or maybe they don’t have like the greatest way of sharing the knowledge? then it can be butchered. I hope this is making sense...i’m talking beyoond the boring surface-level milquetoast shit. i see really ahistorical stuff on there from leftists (like this thing about NK + africa and it being a beneficial rship as opposed to a um not beneficial one. and it isn’t.  beneficial but this young black girl was talking abt it and noname rtd and i was like it’s just too complex. there’s no good/bad here just bc it’s not america. dont get me started on this.)

but Lol that was kinda off topic but I think what I meant in my last reply about not turning off the voice in my head is about when I consume media, not necessarily when I’m online talking about. Even if I have criticism for something, I’m usually pretty chill when consuming fandom content bc I think being serious online all the time is kinda boring. Like sometimes I’m analyzing theme and shit but really most of the time im memeing.

exactly.........gotta laugh. thats why sometimes im like i cant think lmao. unfrotunately i have been ARGUING with ppl on the internet for rly no reason when  i could have replied to ur very nice fun wholesome message. i love torture. i miss memes.

“ i think the people who get the least enjoyment out of that are those so obsessed with getting upset with anyone thinking outside of their lines as if it equates to them “ EXACTLYYYYY

kekekekeke im glad u got it. it’s like with conservatives throwing around snowflake. now im beginning to question who the real complainers are. 

LMAO exactlyyyy. i posted a screenshot of this writer from twitter saying that exact thing. Like first of all, I’m...an adult? and if you are as well uh? i’m sorry for you but are we 12? But how is it affecting u this viscerally? And if it does why dont u...do...research? pihgofuaipoajghou but honestly everything u said. we’re trained to go into it with nothing. i was only around ur age when i started to get more serious about this stuff but you’re like lightyears ahead of where i was at 21. did i say this but i’m in iww and literally i can tell u in 2016 i did not think 2019 me would be in a union bc i told my friend in a train station that we don’t need unions. i was 23...but the thing is i didnt know what i was talking about. at all. and i knew i didnt know and she knew i didnt know and now i am the clown.

also yes at critical engagement. i had to learn so much through experience and this is tuff that i coudlnt be shielded from. there’s an empathy you kinda have to develop and this understanding that you move through the world as this person who is “nowhere and everywhere; nothing and everything” so i’ve always had to think about things differently just to survive. that’s also what can drag a lot of people towards it like theres so many black kpop fans bc i think a lot of the pain in SK can be mirrored (sort of) through our history. and theres currently a history now but it had to be forged. uh what was my point oh yea however i wouldnt have been able to move further if i didnt have my background to go off of  bc i knew something was off when i started getting into all these things (ill give u a hint) but if i had no prior knowledge and didnt have to think about it then the critical approach is either stale or stupid. 

i had to research but i dont understand how ppl are so bold with little to no research and understanding? thhey just inherently know with also like ZERO experience in what they need experience in. engaging critically means “how i see the world” with dashes of trying to be open adn understanding or whatever. actually that’s another thing like being afraid of criticizing things bc theyre foreign to you so u give it a pass (like we discussed) but it doesnt hAVE TO BEEEE JUST REAAAAAD and then take all the info ur teensy brain and apply it. be a normal human being and dont be fucking rude and racist. thats it! u can complain abt literally anything without being a dick.

as we start with LW and end with LW.....what do we think (i asked this already) omg please share wbl thoughts i THINK i know what ur talking about. well it could be two things; their rship when they came back and the physicality and then pei shou yi. i almost dont even want to use my brain to fucking look at that. i think wbl can get away with more bc of visual~*~*~* reasons (like literally, the look of the show. there’s more space to get lost in the frames. many thai dramas are a lot more literal? this isn’t the right word but it’s very heavily character focused particularly bc of $ i think) though good production also underscores flaws so i am also wrong. but like do u know what i mean? u have to kinda focus on it? or maybe it’s just cos like.....ur so used to it in thai bl idek. i’ve seen tw bl ofc. 

look i swear i will justify this forever bc there are some things we miss right but if u feel like someone’s a bad actor....theyre bad. it’s about tone movement etc etc etc and since most thai bl productions have 0 interest in that....well. they take these newbies and put them in these situations. we dont understand thai but if we see them and we’re like “wow this is really bad” then they’re bad lmao. IDC i will never be like cos idk what theyre saying NO WHY HE LOOK LIKE A ROBOT???????? DOES HE EMOTE? why is he CRYING WITH NO TEARS? and it’s not even a total requisite to cry with tears(i mean for me it is) but it’s just like what is happening on ur face right now young man????????

painful.

the inflection stuff is very valid ooh good point tho but that’s only a part of the piece. plus we get used to the way they communicate. like the ppl from sotus were prtty bad. i dont like that show but thats an ex of ppl liing the actors and the person i thought was better other ppl dont think that? well apparently hes a shitty guy but. um. so when theres decent acting its so glaring.

although i must say even tho i dont care for 2gether anymore and would never like to be reminded about its existence (only bc i just cringe lol) i honestly....didnt think bright was a bad actor? but people keep saying he is and i am much more inclined to believe them than myself. though i am not often dickmatized that could have been it. until he opened his mouth and ruined it and then i stopped paying attn.

although honestly i’m so much more critical than i could be positive. i have ben stumped for the last day about how i wasnt mad at his acting in the show. is it me? is it him? who’s......the wrong one.....(me) 

oh shit they have been denied? i haven’t been paying attn to whats been going on recently. i just got into it on MDL because of snowdrop. sometimes i literally cannot engage bc ill just be like alright well im black so this power button in my head is going off when ppl talk abt that shit. back in the day when kpop jawns were saying some real outta pocket anti black shit (now everyone is slick with it) it’d always be THEY DONT HAVE GOOGLE THEYVE NEVER SEEN A BLACK PERSON but really it’s like no...maybe they are just racist? that’s ok too.

also the past 2 weeks have been um atrocious bc how fucking easily people fell into the pit of white supremacy and started to turn their ire towards black people and making a competition between our groups just like they wanted. it’s not about the women who are dead anymore, who were sex workers, their womanhood, being asian, being poor anymore. it’s about how much black people get attention and why people only pay attn to us. i am not feeling very generous this week for ppl to excuse that hsit.

on a lighter note, ppl say that abt the whole husband and wife thing. i dont know how to explain how angry that shit makes me but maybe it’s because i do not want to think of my body in relation to a fucking penis at all hours of the day. if bls could kindly not do that it would be nice lmao 

yes there are a lot of those. who are only there to gawk lmao. and just idk worship bc of the cult of personality thing bc of how weird and open they have to be as actors. some of the others are people who /think/ theyre really smart (i think im asmart but i also think i am very dumb and i have adhd to prove that MEDICALLY!!!) but are actually not? or their observations arent great? or idk if they are they arent interesting? but i think well..........we have more refined palettes :P

jk also theres just different personalities. you and  i mesh more bc we have a lot of the same beliefs and are coming from the same place. that makes it easier to understand as well. i really try to remember that but some people are really weird so. again just...the perception of certain things even down to acting skills. but i also dont like.......believe this genre can really do anything at all. on one hand i want them to do it right bc it’s a piece of work so they should. be proud of it. cos most things arent advancing us bc representation and culturalism are a lie bla bla. it’s just that when the depictions are negative or not done well it adds to the problem as opposed to the things that are well done are fairly benign and can’t really pull us back (perf example is the black panther film. i woudl definitely not say it was transgressive as a literal work but visually it’s just stunning. and it’s sad that it’s stunning and surprising but still with basically an all black cast of mostly dark people abd like what it means in the zeitgeist yes. it’s also just a good movie. but it’s still imperialist prop and unfortunately and this is fucking pathetic to say it “opened eyes” in other countries where they hate black ppl and ignore their own racialized minorities HENNYWAYSSSS a better ex is moonlight except moonlight isnt mainstream and is indie tho...still thru a funnel of capital bc a24 but who cares bleed the fuckers dry is my motto. my point is moonlight is both a great work and doesnt bring any failures to the table and its existence helps in ways outside of art but they arent the defining things giving us material advancement sooooo i mean it’s complex (this is my conclusion to everything um guys it’s complex) 

er i had one more point in conjunction to above. oh yea so i like dont need all these extra things to make it progressive. like people really want more women in the show and i am honestly like i really dont. i dont want them to actively do this. if they cant do it naturally then let someone else do it. i am not asking for more bc i dont want it from them. when something comes along i embrace it but i do not see why women should be represented when the genre RELIES on patriarchy. there is no complete satisfying existence for the women in these series. i dont want it. i dont ask people to show us~*~* or respect~* like fuck no the people who make it make it and hopefully more will make it in the future but i will not beg bc THEY DONT WANT TO DO IT SO WOULD FORCING IT MAKE IT BETTER? just fucking leave them out entirely. that’s the answer if theyre gonna make nasty female characters then those bitches can geaux. we have other plcaes to be. booked. and. BUSY!