#this is what I can imagine to be the premise of the kacchan kaacchan kaachan fic

[burnedbyshoto]

I wanna write something super self-indulgent.

something where bakugou katsuki is in love but will never confess.

no one notices at first because when the boy is quiet, the world seems to forget he’s there. he’s so loud normally, yelling at people, at himself, slinging empty threats like candy to anyone who ever dared to not be the best they could be. he’s nice, normal, so tolerable it isn’t even funny when he’s quiet because it’s then that he’s rational. he’s typically so rational but one person never fails to make him irrational. so it’s no surprise that when the person who makes him irrational is away that he falls quiet and observes. bakugou katsuki keeps his eyes on a single person whenever he falls quiet, but no one is ever there to see it.

i’m not sure how to write this. but I have it clear in my head like a movie. it’s bakugou katsuki who falls in love, and he hates that he’s in love because he doesn’t deserve it. it’s a story where his friends slowly begin catching on starting from kaminari, then jirou, sero, mina, kirishima, and deku.

it’s revealed with kirishima that bakugou does have feelings for someone... it’s a night during a group patrol and bakugou is staring quietly at the one he loves and kirishima’s jaw drops.

“bro... no. no, no, no! there’s no way you like y/l/n!” kirishima whispers sharply, eyebrows furrowed and mouth worried as he glances between the stare of bakugou and where he’s looking—youre standing there with deku laughing softly as he twirls you around his finger. “dude, they just got together! i’d do anything for you, but c’mon? midoriya’s girl? that’s not right.”

“I don’t give a shit about y/l/n!” bakugou snaps, his gaze ripping away from you, and he folded his arms pressing them onto his knees as he looks away. “the shitnerd is way outta his league with her anyways.”

“aren’t you guys friends now?” kirishima asks, contemplative, but his jaw drops in realization. “is that why you’re ditching super bro sundays to hang with midori?! that’s low! way low even for you!”

“shut the hell up! you don’t know what you’re talking about!” bakugou snarls, his throat despite his will constricting at the accusation.

“fine, fine,” kirishima sighs, deciding to drop it, and he presses an arm around bakugous shoulders. “well, if y/l/n is the girl for you, all I can advise is to give it time and hope they don’t work out.”

bakugou shifts, the words swimming in his mind giving him such false hope. not even deku was that big of an idiot to ever let you go.

“like I said,” bakugou grumbled, shoving kirishima off him before standing. “you don’t know what you’re talking about.”

and then time passes and there’s progress and maybe a bakugou & reader interaction and finally, finally stupid kaminari accidentally runs his mouth to deku during a night at the bar and bakugou gets confronted.

“I heard you like y/n,” deku says one sunday night when the two of them are having their weekly ramen in the little booth they had accidentally destroyed two years ago. his voice isn’t upset, angry, or even accusatory—it’s just underlined with curiosity. but the words are said and bakugous stomach is reduced to ash and cotton. “it’s okay, i’m not upset by it!”

“who told you that?”

“does it matter?”

“it does!”

“why?”

“because it isn’t true!”

bakugou snaps the wooden chopsticks in his hands and deku looks at him with wide eyes and parted lips. the silence is heavy and tense on their shoulders, but eventually deku snorts, a small smile coming onto his face.

“that’s a load of reaction for someone who doesn’t like her.”

bakugou doesn’t know if he should murder the nerd right then and there.

“I’m really not upset though, kacchan,” deku repeats, an easy, all too genuine loving smile on his face. “shes as amazing as you are, it makes sense you’d want her too.”

“deku— I don’t like her,” bakugou repeats, his eyes turning to his ramen that looks like red tar to him now. gross, never to be consumed. “those idiots don’t know what they’re talking about.”

“I figured that too,” deku explains, his crooked fingers tapping against the counter, “but i’m not all too sure.”

“hah?”

“I was told that a month ago, and for a month i’ve been observing you around her,” deku smiles, there’s no insecurity to it, just the beginning ropes of a challenge. “you stare at her whenever you think i’m not looking, you avoid her whenever she wants to talk, and whenever i’m stuck at the hospital you always come over to take care of her. you know more about her than my mom and you’ve known her all our lives! but it’s okay, kacchan! I know you better than you think! i know i’ve lost to you a lot before, more times than i’d like to admit, really... but I won’t lose here. i’ll make sure of it. you might be better than me, a better hero, more handsome and everything, but I swear that I won’t lose.”

bakugou can only stare at deku and his wide, fierce grin. a grin that reflects the one bakugou typically wears. his heart hurts though.

“whatever, nerd,” bakugou sighs, exasperated and dramatic to indicate that he was caught. “don’t fuck it up or else i’ll snatch her from beneath you.”

deku laughs, fierceness fading into fondness.

“I won’t.”

it’s only when deku manages to hug bakugou goodbye at the end of their sunday get together do we get an insight on bakugou. bakugou who watches deku pull out his phone and calls you and his heart breaks and his hands are sweaty in a way that makes him want to cry.

he doesn’t love you... not even a little bit. sure he likes you as a friend, but it could never be that.

midoriya izuku is the shitty man who has his heart, the idiot who never fails to make him stupidly irrational the moment they’re close by. deku is the man he wants in the earliest of mornings and the darkest of nights. deku who knows him so well yet not at all because he thinks that he wants his girlfriend... he doesn’t want you, he wants him. but he’ll never confess, he’ll never tell. he’ll continue watching deku from the distance as he dips you low in a dance and kisses you gently during patrols. he’ll continue yearning as he knocks on the apartment door when izuku is hospitalized because youre shit at taking care of yourself when izuku is there and he doesn’t like letting izuku worry. he cares for you only because deku loves you and nothing less, nothing more.

how can someone who can easily read him like a book completely miss the fact that he’s in love with deku and not you? bakugou doesn’t know, but knowing that everyone thinks it’s you he likes and not deku saves him from humiliation because he knows he will never be able to confess and that is the first failure in his life that makes him want to die.