#this is way longer than I thought it'd be lol
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akito and minori images? preferably ones that can be used as reaction images!
#project sekai#hatsune miku colorful stage#prosekai#prsk#prsekai#prosekaiuwu#free to use#prskuwu request#hanasato minori#minori hanasato#shinonome akito#akito shinonome#my favorite is the low quality looking akito that's from his one bday 4koma (iirc)#where ena doodles on his cake's (?) box#i was tempted to just#reline it with a textured brush#but i think it's more charming this way lol#i also thought it'd be easier to find reaction images#but any i find are either ones i've already used or would take longer to edit than expected to be up as a request#so keep an eye out for an update regarding that (:
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I've referenced before how I have a big google document to keep track of every media I've ever seen in my entire life (just for reference because I like to track everything possible lol… I am the Data Collector), but recently as I was updating it, I thought of actually evaluating them to find out random percentages (like for example, out of Total Shows Watched, what percentage did I finish vs. stop watching, what percentage did I like or dislike, etc.)...
Evaluating these things is made easier by the fact that I already place everything on each subsection of the list into 6 broad ranking categories, so I don't have to go back and guess to figure out how I feel about them or anything. The categories are: Ranking 5 - overall best* (despite some criticisms of course because I'm too much of an Analyzer to ever find anything Perfect lol) Ranking 4 - more positive than neutral, but not good enough to be 5 Ranking 3 - either the good + bad negate each other, OR it's just not memorable/interesting in any way enough to be ranked higher or lower (this is the Default category ALL things are placed in if no other rank applies) Ranking 2 - maybe a few redeemable elements but largely more negatives than positives Ranking 1 - So bad that it circles around to being fascinating to observe in some way (not necessarily Funny, or Good, but just interesting somehow) Ranking 0 - Bad in a genuinely frustrating or obnoxious manner
*("best" primarily defined here as most interesting, rather than most good in a technical sense, or some other measure. I tend to value more highly whether there's something novel or thoughtful about the worldbuilding, tone, writing, base premise, etc - than about whether it's actually executed perfectly.)
And here's the amount of shows that have so far been placed into each category -
TV shows ~ Rank 5 (highest) - 20 shows ~ Rank 4 (mid-high) - 28 shows ~ Rank 3 (neutral/default/meh) - 114 shows ~ Rank 2 (mid low) -33 shows ~ Rank 1 (low low but intriguingly so) - 14 shows ~ Rank 0 (iredeemably low) - 2 shows
This would make for a total of 211 TV shows overall. However, there are 57 shows within these list marked as "didn't finish" (typically meaning I quit on the very first or second episode - but log them still to keep a record that I at least had a brief view of them).
So my total of genuinely fully watched shows would be more 154. 211 Total, but a More Accurate Total of 154.
Counting them all and using the Total Number Of The List (211) -- that means roughly 9.5% of all total shows I have ever watched (or at least attempted to watch) have been Mostly Good, 13% have been Moderately Okay, 54% have been either entirely Forgettable or some mix of good + bad that lands them right in the Neutral Middle, 15.6% have been Mostly Bad, 6.6% have been Bad (but in an interesting way), and 0.9% have been Terribly Bad.
Additionally, I didn't even get past the first two episodes of about 27% of the total.
Sooo, discounting ones I didn't finish, my total TV shows ever watched in my life would be about 154 (maybe give or take a few, assuming I might have forgotten some from very long ago).
But instead of entire life, let's just say this is the total for 'About 20 Years' (so, not counting very early childhood when I likely wouldn't remember things I saw/have no detailed recollection of them (like for example, I'm sure at some point when I was like 4yrs old I must have seen an episode of Spongebob or something, but I have zero distinct memories of it, can't quote anything of it, and barely recall the premise - so I don't count it on the list, etc.)).
In that case, 154 divided by 20 would be roughly 7.7 shows a year.
Which is actually surprisingly low considering that I often have stuff on in the background for hours whilst I make sculptures and do costumes and stuff (maybe I should have also marked some distinction between 'things I fully paid attention to' and 'things I kind of half listened to whilst sculpting', but that would further split the categories too much probably lol), but I guess a lot of that is youtube videos or random documentaries, so .. eh.. maybe I get it being lower.
Now, doing the same thing for movies-
Movies ~ Rank 5 (highest) - 4 movies (3.4% of total) ~ Rank 4 (mid-high) - 12 movies (10.3% of total) ~ Rank 3 (neutral/default/meh) - 91 movies (78.4% of total) ~ Rank 2 (mid low) - 8 movies (6.8% of total) ~ Rank 1 (low but interesting) - 1 movie (0.8% of total) ~ Rank 0 (irredeemably low) - none in this category (0%)
That makes 116 for a Total (Actually Remembered) Movies Watched In Lifetime (Or At Least In 20 Years).
116 divided by 20 is roughly 5 or 6 movies a year (I feel this has probably been skewed though by adding everything since like elementary school onwards, as I remember a lot more movies from child/teen years.. Whereas, the past 3 years I feel like I've barely seen maybe even 5 movies?? lol). I also have "Didn't Finish" marked on 18 of them. Which means I quit halfway through about 15% of the total movies.
So, a for broader summary stuff..
I seem to be less forgiving to movies than tv shows, by far. Which makes sense to me, I guess, because I love elaboration and details, so "short form" things that only last an hour or two are often lost on me a bit. My biggest complaint with movies is indeed usually walking away just wishing there had been more exposition, more scenes where characters are doing nothing, more "mindless bantering" conversations, more Quiet Downtime and Lore Elaboration and so on lol, so... of course most 1-2hr films end up feeling a bit Not Enough To Draw My Interest/Nothingy to me.
If you count 5 and 4 as "like" and rankings 2 to 0 as "dislike", then for TV shows I at least somewhat liked 48 of them, and at least somewhat disliked 47 of them.. So it's almost exactly the same lol. I'm just about equally as likely to find something bad as I am to find something redeeming about it. But overall, the largest chance is that I just won't really care much for it at all and it will be tossed into the 'neutral' pile, forgotten forever. Movies have a bit better of a balance, "liking" 16 of them, and "disliking" only 9 of them. So I'm slightly more likely to enjoy a movie than to find it annoying - though still VASTLY more likely to just not find it anything in particular, possibly not even finishing it.
ANYWAY.. this is vague and literally pointless, but like I said, I just really find information fun. Like my document where I've rated every apple flavor I've ever tried (like 40 of them now?), or reviewed every oreo flavor (32?), or ranking data from my entire 10 years of Trying To Make Friends process (out of 100 people, roughly 8% chance of a moderate compatibility, 3% chance of high), or etc. etc.. I love to have random pointless things to analyze I suppose lol.
I doubt anyone tracks things in their life in this same exact way, but I'd be interested in hearing any at least somewhat similar data !!! (like, how many TV shows you watch a year on average, and what percentage of those you like vs. dislike (if you keep track of that sort of thing), etc.)). I guess it might be easier with movies, since I think some people use those websites where you curate a list of movies you've seen and you can rate them or something, so maybe the numbers are already available on those places. :0
#maybe this is my version of spotify wrapped lol.. Lifetime Media Google Doc Wrapped.. kind of.. except I'm not going over specific titles.#I can't do this with music since I rarely EVER look for new music or add to my Youtube To MP3 folder library as I just don't really#listen to music that often. When I'm working (the majority of when I seek background noise) I need like.. people's talking voices#for some reason. Just instruments and singing are not distracting enough to me to work as background noise because theyre#almost TOO in the background if that makes sense? like if I put music on then I just tune it out and it's virtually no different#than if I were daydreaming stream of consciousness thoughts in an entirely quiet room lol. And I can't really do it with books since#essentially 100% of what I read is non-fiction. usually about some specific subject or academic topic OR stuff like#1800s magazines or cookbooks or historical people's diaries. Which is not really.. the type of thing I would#rank as easily I guess? like 'ooh yeah putting the sociology textbook in my top 5 hee hee right next to the 1920s radio recipes book' lol.#Then for games... I just sadly dont play enough of them. I've been banned from new games as I've told myself I cant play anyting#long form (no rpgs or etc) until I actually finish MY OWN game first - to keep me from wasting time. so on average#I play... 0 new games a year. ToT... I do play the sims sometimes but that's really all (which is not a new game at all since#I've been playing it on and off for years). Thus I guess movies/TV are really the only things that make sense#to collect this sort of information on. I could do youtube videos I guess also but that seems kind of strange like...#giving a rating to every single video I watch in a ranked list lol.. Especially since I would say a good 85% of the time#they are exclusively background noise whilst I'm working on something or cleaning the house or etc. and not things I pay serious attention#to. There are only a few specific topics/types/creators of videos I watch where I'm ACTUALLY sitting in front of a screen paying#direct attention to the content (usually when it's educational or political things). Everything else is too mindless to even rank.#ANYWAY... ever analyzing my little hermit Weird Relationship To Media (in the sense of seemingly not processing or getting the same#things out of it as many other seem to). I think that can contribute sometimes to the whole difficulty socializing and stuff#since our culture is very centered around media consumption generally speaking. People want to talk about The New Movie that came#out or The Big TV Show Of The Year. and for me it's like.. highly likely I just plain have NOT seen it. Or if i have. statistically#I most likely was entirely ambivalent if not slightly negative towards it lol. Which just kind of takes the steam out of a 'fun' 'casual'#conversation and you seem like a bit of a bummer if most of your only feedback is either 'idk what that is' or 'oh yea... i did#see that one.... i didnt like it all that much though... I think it'd be better with elves in it.. and 7 hours longer..'' lol..#Which I am not disliking things in a 'grr i hate it bc its popular'/just to be contrarian way. I actually dislike that mindset/find it#silly (by striving so hard to be counterculture you are thus still defining yourself by the whims of external culture - just in the#opposite direction. but are still just as preoccupied with the mainstream (going against it) as everyone else. etc. lol..)) In my#case I think it IS just having niche hyperspecific tastes.. for example- it peeves me when cell phones are in media bc I dont want to be#reminded at ALL of the real world. so.. cross off anything set in modern times. so on & etc. Judging all things by these weird criteria lol
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Ok apple pen jumpscare aside, I have a LOT of thoughts on the ghost craft/holy horror mansion trailer, so I may as well make a kinda deep dive post like I did with the Legends ZA announcement
this is gonna be long as fuck so be warned, we're diving deep
Ok so first of all… I think we all knew that it was gonna be yokai watch’s spiritual successor, but I don’t think leading with that is a great call, because people will expect more of the same, and I don’t think that’s entirely fair to this new game they’re making.
That being said, let’s get into the actual game itself, because holy shit this is a lot to take in at once and we still know like nothing.
So the first thing we get introduced to right off the bat is our protagonist, Ten Lordland, which is kind of a stupid name so I’m hoping that the localization gives him a better one
^ this is the bitch. He kinda reminds me of Hailey-Anne with how uppity and all over the place he is; we don’t have much substance on him as a character but he seems like a good kid
One thing we do know about him though is that he’s Loaded, and that his grandma is the landlord of the titular holy horror mansion, which is apparently also a gate to the underworld (giving Mt. Wildwood, but this is where the comparisons end)
We also have a better look at smaller areas of the apartment complex, or at least one small room where he whole thing starts. The camera in the third pic shows up a couple times, so I think it’ll be important in some way, especially considering this is where our ‘ghosts’ comes from:
So there’s three types, and honestly this is where the game shines the most in my opinion and really separates itself from yokai watch conceptually. they play into the concept of ‘ghost crafting’ really well:
First off is the green ghost, whose power we saw at the end of the last level 5 vision. Basically this ghost combines with objects and brings them to life, and that’s where the main critter collecting aspect comes in. I really like how they're handling this, it's a really fun idea
This is also where we get our new mascot aka pillow jibanyan:
She’s cute, her design feels very lively but not messy or too much. I hope we get to see more of her personality in game, I like her :)
Anyways back to the ghosts, now we have the blue one, whose thing is making chimera ghosts out of random objects. This is in fact where that fuckass apple pen reference happens
I like this mechanic, it’ll be fun just making fuck all from whatever’s in your inventory. Still, we’ll come back to the pen pineapple apple pen thing and its implications (because yes I’m not done with this)
And lastly is the pink ghost, whose power is… making dungeons?? I guess??
It’s cool and I like the idea of themed dungeons from everyday objects and the cool gameplay that will come of it, and I adore the cake themed dungeon, but it sticks out like a sore thumb, mostly because it’s the least purposeful of the three.
The green and blue ones have mechanics that make sense within the gameplay of being a critter collector, but the pink one’s uniqueness in its mechanics makes it feel weird.
I’m guessing that we’ll get more of an explanation of what it’s being used for in the actual game, so I’m looking forward to that. And also finding out whether the ‘something important’ Ten mentions is story related or if it’s just the thing at the end of each dungeon.
And then we hit the story aspects… ooh boy I know Yokai Watch and creature collectors in general aren’t really popular for their story, but this one just feels strange to me.
First off, our villain is the “De Ville Corp” and the "Dakarymen", and I mean I’m glad they’re not being subtle with it, we all knew what happened with YKW3, though its a bit on the nose; it makes some sense this game is clearly more family friendly/“kiddie.” But I think weirdly what irks me the most is…
why is this rich kid beefing with other rich kids? Like dude you’re fucking loaded your grandma literally owns the only known(?) gate to the underworld and makes bank off of other people living in this apartment complex that you live off of, what do you mean the villain is capitalism in a game where the protagonist is Rich.
Ok that one’s more nitpicky but still an odd decision imo. Anyways into the villain’s tactics, the main thing they do is they sell 'ghost items' which do... something. i dunno they're evil and hurt people ig maybe it'll get expanded on more later
there's also other wild ghosts that you have to find with your yokai wat-- i mean this shitty camera guy whose design is good on paper but bland in execution, and you fight those guys. i'm gonna say it now as much as i don't want to, i don't think this game is gonna beat the pokemon clone allegations in the west
i don't doubt that the battle system will be unique but at first glance i just have a feeling that people are gonna compare it to pokemon the same way they did with yokai watch, and it's a shame.
now that we've gone over the whole trailer, let's get into my three biggest concerns for this game because yes i sure do have opinions about it
first thing i wanna talk about that they said up-front is the fact that this is gonna become a HUGE multimedia series. ok. kind of horrifying if we're getting that immediately. i don't think it's such a good idea to have a brand new ip that's not even ready yet be put up to the expectation of this behemoth of a new series. that sets the bar pretty high, and there's a lot of worry of this getting too much and crashing from the pressure before its time like what happened to yokai watch
the second thing i've got which i think is a bit nitpicky but i want to mention anyways: "the theme of this title is 'family'," which means it will be "an experience for the whole family to enjoy together." this worries me a little because it gives the implication this is gonna be a more 'kiddie' game in a way. like the trailer was exciting and fun, but i could barely keep up with how fast and in your face it was even with how simple and straight forward is. (someone described it as like a tik tok brainrot vid and i think that does make sense). I hope that making it more appealing to all ages doesn't sacrifice Holy Horror Mansion's heart (we'll get to that) and willingness to go to darker places.
last thing, which i didn't know when i started writing this post, is the use of AI in like 90% of the trailer. because holy shit there's a lot.
look at that. gross. i knew something felt weird about Ten but I couldn't put my finger on it until i found out about the AI thing. this damn kid is the most damning evidence, at least for me since it's the easiest to see on him. and that's not even close to everything that could be AI, that's just the fucking protagonist!
I think deep down we all saw this coming considering Hino's previous statements on AI and the fact that he used a bunch of shitty ai yokai watch mockups as an example. Obviously if this game does use AI for all this stuff we're not gonna fucking support it, but this is still a very very VERY early proof of concept, and anything could happen between now and the game actually making any progress; until we see more I'm gonna be cautiously optimistic about the direction this game goes. Either Hino gets his shit together or we're not playing Holy Horror House because what the fuck.
to be honest, I think it's ok that yokai watch as a major franchise is ending. it kinda sucks since we've been waiting like five years since y school, but i do think it's over and that this is gonna be a fun new ip that can stand on its own from yokai watch. for a series whose first game's resolution was to live and let go of something you love, I think we should take a page from yokai watch 1's book more often. i'm excited to see where Holy Horror Mansion goes from here on out! also we still have puni puni and Jaen is there so I'm satisfied enough I guess.
anyways tl;dr, Holy Horror House looks fun and has a lot of potential as a brand new ip, i'm afraid for its future as a multimedia giant and/or an ai shitshow, and Fantasy Life i: The Girl Who Steals Time is my most anticipated game of 2025
#holy horror mansion#ghost craft#yokai watch#morgan's ramblings#long post#infodumping :3#if akihiro hino gave me anything today it was a seven month extension for my zine piece lmao#this was way longer than i thought it'd be but i had fun writing this#maybe i'll make more analysis posts like this lol#but yeah that's my thoughts on new yokai watch :)
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Sometimes I ask myself unnecessary questions such as "if someone made a design for Subaru's sister is that an OC or a canon"
Technically she doesn't have a canon name or design we just know she married into a rival troupe and Leo theorizes that Subaru didn't take this well or something
But she is a canonical entity. Like if someone made a design for Jin's dad I'd list him under canons. So in that same vein I'd have to say an OC design for Subaru's sister is canon right???
#danie yells at rp#danie yells at tokyo debunker#of course subaru's sister isn't in any way shape or form related to the institute and likeky doesn't know anything about anomalies#she probably knows her brother is going to darkwick and assumes he's a regular student and is so proud of him#. . .or maybe she doesn't care at all. i think that'd be an interesting angle.#but as a civilian it'd be hard to rp her unless it was like. she ended up experiencing some sort of anomalous incident(s)#and maybe she couldn't have her memory cleared by matches like it'd been going on longer than a day#they did say that in rare occasions civilians with anomalous illnesses might be brought to darkwick general instead of treated at institute#hospitals. . .maybe she could be afflicted with some sort of anomalous illness and have been in darkwick general? but darkwick general was#destroyed so would they put her in mortkranken or somewhere else? maybe she witnessed the immortal inpatient event and they couldn't let her#leave after that and let her treatment continue at mortkranken. . . . .#idk why i'm thinking about all of this lol#just. theorizing about worldbuilding and so on in my own little space#some people said they thought subaru was male pc and it'd be kind of interesting if like. pc was subaru's sister lol :3c#like maybe she doesn't remember or they're just not talking about it to avoid complications or he disowned her or doesn't recognize her#or maybe he does recognize her and if she gets involved romantically with ghouls he's not sure how to feel like. he dislikes(?) her husband#but isn't she married? surely he would have heard if she got a divorce?#idk. i'm just. having thoughts. (some of them are incest thoughts but that's normal for me.)
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Poll adventure (paventure? lol) Day 3: read the small story tidbit below the poll for more details, OR just vote based on initial impression
(✦ see past poll results + further information HERE (link) ✦)
The winning option of yesterday's poll was that the adventurer should throw a coin into the mysterious well ….
"After nearly ten minutes rummaging through the disorganization at the bottom of his backpack, he finally approaches the well once again, meager coin pouch in hand. He meticulously balances a little golden coin on the tip of his thumb, positioning it just so for an elegant coin flip… With a flick of his hand, the coin wobbles off, anticlimactically dropping into the darkness.. He pouts, leaning in to listen for a plonk as the coin hits the water but… nothing…. silence.. A few minutes pass and he shrugs, moving to pick up his bag and just continue his journey elsewhere, when suddenly a faint noise echoes from the well.. an almost cartoonish plopping sound, like wet feet slapping against stone..? The pitter patter grows closer and closer…then stops abruptly. The adventurer cautiously slinks over to the well, only to find.. a creature of some sort, clinging to the walls, staring up at him blankly. - What should he do next?"
#paventure posting#polls#choose your own adventure#(I saw a few people tag these as that and I guess it makes sense. hmm)#DAY 3!!! vote to choose this little man's fate#Sad that people did not want to go into the well.. :( Maybe we can still go in depending on how things go with#The Creachure. I mean I know I could just make whatever happen anyway since I'm the one doing it but. It has to feel natural lol#it would be obviously just me doing what I want if I was like 'oh uh we went to throw the coin in the well but he tripped and#fell and then somehow didnt die and whoops he's in the well anyway!!'' lol#I care more about things being realistic and natural than following whatever ideas seem interesting. If it was voted for him to explode#into a million pieces sadly I would simply have to explode him. audience says#let me know if the formatting of this is weird?? also? I wasn't sure where to put the slightly longer bit of text#so I kept it under a reas more just to the post looks neater. I thought it'd seem weird with a bunch of text blocks sandwiching the poll#and too much going on. But I also feel like it's organizationally weird if all the details are at the end? eh..#bt then at least it's optional. not everyone will want to read more. And it's not like.. amazing text lol#I'm slapping them out off of the top of my head with minimal editing because I have to get it done and I know if I make it too complicated#or become concerned with like things being Perfectly Revised then I will absolutely not be able to do it once a day#Same with the obvious sketchy ms paint art lol. But so like. I dont feel as bad about kind of having the text be options#*optional since it's not like 'omg this is so good u have to read this' it's like.. eh.. passable amount of detail ghbj#ANYWAY. and 'paventure' (poll + adventure) is just temporary so I have a way to tag this on the blog/keep up with the posts#in a organized way. I think 'padventure' is more obvious but that's already the name of other things and I didnt want the tags to be#confusing or like.. post in some random tag that people already use for something else#but the only thing I found when googling 'paventure' is like. .some venture capital business from PA. and who cares about that lol#explanation probably not needed but I think it sounds a bit silly so I'm justifying myself to myself lol#ANYWAY. lov his silly hat. I want to draw him more. I want to name him. I COULD DO A POLL TO CHOOSE A NAME#but that wouldn't fit in with any of the days lol. maybe if I make it a week actually doing it or something at the end of the week#I could do a bonus poll or something. ??? idk.. ANYWAY.. new day!
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i know muse's (literal) death was unceremonious and underwhelming but there is something thematically satisfying about the villain that made spectacles of his killings die in such a.. bland way
#it happened after his monologue about why he does it as well#unlike his art pieces#he had no real control over his own death#and also the way his actual art was drawn#they usually took up half a page up to entire two-page spreads#and the panel of his burning body was just in a corner lol#i thought that i was maybe reading too much into it until i remember that he says something along the lines of#“you're big! they're small!”#so that's interesting !#idk i was just kinda bothered that people were like#he died so lame!#and it's like Augh not really !?#the build up to his death had a lot to give that contributed to a bigger picture to think about with his character and i think that's#more fun to think about than “i wish he died cooler”#i do wish sam's battle with him was maybe a littlee bit longer though#also also it's kind of neat how no matter what type of backstory you want to give muse#it'd work either way#sorta#like if he had a tragic backstory it'd be like okay! he's regaining a sort of control in life he lacked before#but if he Didn't and was just bored (lol)#then that's him finding or giving his own meaning to life through death#actually i think that'd be neater#since his pieces were mainly commentary above all else#i think that's all i have to say#i am only confident in about sixty percent about what i said but it's finally all outyipee!!#a.talks
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thoughts on Roadside Picnic so far:
the name was vaguely familiar to me, and i finally realized that I'd previously heard of it back in the winter holidays of 2020 when I went on a wild, 2 day "hey remember that anime from high school?" bender and read the entire TVTropes for Darker than Black. (I don't think this book was a direct inspiration for the anime, but it also fits into the "random alien zone appeared" category and I remember it being pretty good.)
also, Alien Zone Randomly Appeared, Fucked-Up Shit is Happening is my favourite sci-fi sub-sub-genre
our MC Red kinda falls into the same category as the MC of Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep for me. He's very much A Result of the 70s: somewhat misogynistic, somewhat racist, maybe not the most interesting person in the room but definitely a white male. Too much of an asshole to really root for, and also deeply bitter and pessimistic to the point where even when he's hugging his daughter he seems miserable and disenfranchised. I like Red a bit better though because he's more interesting than Rick, and there aren't many more interesting side characters being ignored by the plot.
very much like all this spooky shit coming out of the Zone, I love the idea the aliens literally stopped for a quick picnic on their intergalactic road trip and just left some really wild trash around.
also love the names. like, Hell Slime. Death Lamp. these should be goth band names.
however I am going to need a real explanation of this Zone/its' mysterious goodies at some point, the Southern Reach series set my expectations high lol
#i'm about 60% of the way through it#thought it'd be a quicker read but it's been another busy week lol. also ebooks are always deceptive#they always seem to take longer than i think they will
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damnnn that manga about making manga got me acting funny (making 5 year plans)
#feverishly outlining a self work schedule i know damn well i would never be able to maintain#literally have never been this motivated about my future and i didnt even particularly like the manga lol (tbf it's vol 1)#that and the trip to my public library are making me go ouh if i think out a rigid schedule enough then maybe#i will simply no longer get burnt out ever#look it's not the most realistic and i know that but if i let myself THINK that i won't ever make anything#as evidenced by me basically not making anything for months and months and months now#and if i have a plan maybe my parents won't be too sore about me dropping out. if i choose to drop out that is#(<- probably shouldn't drop out but man.... man..........)#and maybe having that rigidity and those concrete results will suit me better than school#which at best gives me 'number go up' and at worst gives me 'number go down'#im struggling with the scale of things but i am hand-drawing calendars and shit#and honestly im extremely lucky to be in a situation where this sort of thing is tenable at all so. why not use it?#ugh i should probably get my bachelor's though. i wanna take a gap year so bad but it wouldn't Really do me any good probably#thought too hard about college and now my motivation is just gushing out of me. fucks sake#what a wound!! i think i might hate school a little bit unfortunately#which sucks bc when im not fighting for my fucking life in there it's quite lovely very much my kinda thing etc#one way i could kinda test the schedule is by using the summer as a trial run. that way I wouldn't need to drop out#but i would still have a decent chunk of time to like.. test out my model and adjust it#(so i don't drop out and then immediately realize i Cannot do this shit at all)#but honestly i kind of think i should just. maybe drop out anyway and then get a job if this fails#easier said than done i know but again maybe something more tangible would help me#and i would appreciate some of the independence it'd give me tbqh#i really honestly don't know if i can actually like. Do art or writing. in the career sense#even disregarding money as a factor i just don't know if i could actually Make anything#whicfh is bananas bc in a literal sense i have been Making things for like 20 years#idk. i think i'll let this stew for a bit and come back (<- the kind of behavior that keeps me from making things)#(<- i mean knowing when to step back is crucial i just do it wayyyyyyy too often. anyway)
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making the final edits to the jjk men in no nut november post... hope you guys will like it!
#it got way longer than i initially thought it'd be#not necessarily a bad thing lol#most like going to post tomorrow#jjk men#naughtyjjk
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*githsplaining intensifies*
woo this comic took a bit longer than i thought it would DSFIUHSDF but!! i was surprised when i made lunara look into the telescope back at the grove and saw the red dragon but lae'zel makes no comment??
maybe she does if you interact with the telescope as lae'zel but i've yet to do that. either way i just thought it'd be funny to show the githsplaining in action
lunara and karlach are absolutely ENAMORED with learning about gith culture and tradition cuz lae'zel is just so passionate about it LOL
as for shadowheart... well...
#baldur's gate 3#bg3#bg3 fanart#bg3 art#baldur's gate iii#baldurs gate#tav#bg3 tav#bg3 oc#shadowheart#bg3 shadowheart#lae'zel#bg3 lae'zel#karlach#bg3 karlach#baldurs gate fanart#baldur's gate oc#artists on tumblr#lunara posting#bob the artist
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Blood on Fire ~ pt. 2 | SJY
A/N: this is part 2 of the BOF series! I have decided to divide this story up by who's sex scene is in it, but in order to fully understand the story, you must start with part 1 and finish (if you want). they are plot driven, and context will not make sense if you start with part 2, etc... Also lol, this was a bit longer than i thought it'd be
genre/tags/warnings for this part ✶ MDNI, reverse harem!hyung line x afab!reader, angst, smut, gore and violence, supernatural themes, stabbing, mentions of alcohol, blood, verbal and physical violence, manipulation, fightclub au, ot7
synopsis ✶ In a city where the supernatural are arrested on sight, the only refuge for their pent-up rage is “The Enha Arena”- an exclusive, hidden venue where creatures engage in brutal, blood-soaked battles with one another. Concealed beneath the unassuming exterior of “Dusk and Dawn,” a gym that serves as the front of a totally legal business, this underground fight club acts as the epicenter for this violent world where supernatural beings not only fight for dominance and pride but for the sheer thrill of it all. In dire need of some money, you find yourself drawn into the fight club when you come across a black market job posting- an offer for a new trainer at the gym. Desperate for new ways to keep your own abilities under wraps and even learn about other supernatural beings, you accept the position, completely unaware of the dangers and complicated relationships that await you
WC ✶ 16.4k
Part 1
smut warnings under the cut
smut warnings ✶ monster erotica (obviously), breeding kink, dry humping, love biting, mix of praise and degradation, oral male!receiving, slight choking, fingering, unprotected sex (stop)
Coming into the gym the next evening, you notice the atmosphere is noticeably lighter, the tension from before seemingly lifted into thin air. You notice K first, towering over the others as he stands amongst the six other boys standing around him. “You guys are early,” you observe, dropping your gym bag onto the bench beside you.
When you pass by Jake, the muscles in his jaw tighten while the hairs on his neck stand straight like the hackles of a tense wolf. His face twists into a scowl as he watches you pass him. You pretend not to notice his reaction, likely residual distaste from the question you asked him yesterday. “Are we all buddy-buddy now?” you ask, eyeing the proximity of the group with suspicion in your gaze. You narrow your eyes at the group, a huddle of boys that stand too close for comfort, their shoulders brushing against each other as they chip at the other’s pride in friendly banter.
Jungwon and Sunoo exchange a quick glance when they catch on to the tone in your voice, prompting them to shift awkwardly in their stance as they wait for someone to answer. Niki steps up to the battering plate, a large grin on his face as he addresses you, “K came in early to apologize to Heeseung and talk to us about where his outburst came from.” Niki’s voice carries a note of relief as he gestures over towards K and Heeseung, but you notice that Heeseung doesn’t lift his gaze to meet K’s when the taller boy looks down at him. In fact, he doesn’t look at anyone for that matter. “We had a chance to clear the air up before today’s session.”
You look around for a second before nodding, not wanting to dwell in the past any longer. There was no need to dig any deeper- it wasn’t your business to pry anyways. Remaining ignorant has been conditioned into you by the age of 8. “Ok, well today will be pretty laid back now. Just focus on your own thing, no sparring or training room today.”
The boys respond to your instructions with a chorus of yes’s, quickly breaking off into two groups and migrating to their preferred areas. Jungwon, Niki, and Sunoo head for the squat rack, settling into an easy rhythm as Niki sets up the weights while Sunoo and Jungwon begin with a leg warm up. Meanwhile, K, Heeseung, Jake, and Jay move towards the bench press, their arms flailing as they debate about who gets to go first.
When you hear a door slam shut, you whip around to see Minnie and Yuqi entering the gym accompanied by a few unfamiliar faces following after them. Minnie’s face lights up when she spots you, her body developing a yellow glow as she unlinks her arm from Yuqi’s and runs to you. She greets you with a wide smile, one that melts away the tense knot straining against your heart as she pulls you into a warm hug. “Hi!”
Yuqi catches up to Minnie, opting to stand off to the side with her arms crossed and a reserved expression lined across her face. “I came down to help train the other folks that just came in,” she explains, offering you a warm smile that’s juxtaposed to the reserved one seconds ago, “You don’t have to worry about them.”
Minnie’s eyes sweep across the room, scanning around for the seven boys. She has an expectant gaze in her eyes, one that shines with joy. “Is everyone here already?”
“Just waiting for Sunghoon,” you tell her, “The maknaes are over by the squat rack if you want to head over there. I’ll be with the others.”
Minnie nods her head at you excitedly and skips away to the squat racks, flashing a bright smile at the younger boys. You can’t help but grin to yourself as you catch bits and pieces of her friendly exchange with them, her teasing remarks about Niki’s squat form earning a bloom of red on his cheeks. When Yuqi takes her leave, you walk over to the benches where your own group is, catching them mid-conversation on whatever it is they were talking about.
“You really shot fire out of your nose?” Jake asks, eyes wide with disbelief as he bounces his leg up and down on the bench.
“Again?” Heeseung clarifies.
You clear your throat, making the group aware of your presence as you shoot them a questionable expression. “Did I interrupt something?”
“Definitely not.” Jay says, shooting them a look.
You move around to the front of the bench, facing Jake who is now avoiding your gaze. “Right… Well, as much as I would love to learn more about your flaming boogers, I do want to see you guys bench press without the distractions.”
Jay’s cheeks burn red as he quickly shoves Jake off the bench in embarrassment, earning a strong jab to Jay’s shoulder. “Damnit!” Jake growls, his face twisting into a grimace as he raises his fist up to his mouth to suck on the blood that starts to drip from his knuckles. You shift around the bench to peer at Jake’s hand, watching as his tongue laps at the wound vigorously until there’s nothing but unbroken skin replacing what was once a nasty cut.
“Why do you think we wear wraps when we spar?” Jay says with dripping sarcasm, moving to plant his feet firmly against the ground and arching his back off the bench slightly. Your eyes trail down Jay’s body, stopping when they land the gleaming molten of Jay’s dragon scales dawning his shoulders. Realization clicks in your head and you let a small chuckle escape your lips- Jake must’ve sliced himself on Jay’s scale armor. They’re identical to the ones you saw on his back when you not so casually roped him into a pull-up contest on your first day.
A rhythmic flow of conversation continues to course through you and the boys as Jay powers through 8 reps on the bench like it’s nothing, muscles rippling like a coil with every motion.
For the first time in your life, a sense of complacency washes over you. For once in your life, you let go of that long-held breath that had been keeping you underwater for so long. Constantly looking over your shoulders in fear of being caught etched a long-lasting knot in your shoulder you weren’t sure was gonna go away, but it seems like it has.
Here, in this space, you’re surrounded by people just like you, mirroring both the anxiety and the anger that has ridden itself so deep within you. Here, you let your guard down. But this moment is short-lived, just a fragile illusion blinding you to a brewing storm that gathers just beyond the horizon.
The doors to the Dusk gym slam open, the chains on the outside of it snapping with a force that only heavy machinery could break. A group of men, clad in matching blue uniforms march inside, their polished black boots echoing against the ground as their presence silences all other activity. “Routine government inspection!” The lead inspector announces, his voice booming with authority as he surveys the space before him. “Please resume your activities as normal.”
The world seems to tilt in that moment, filling with a suffocating air that leaves you breathless. There’s a dark void that puts itself in the seat of your stomach, waving at you with a taunt as if to say, you really thought. Your feet seem to grow 50 pound weights on them as the officials get closer, keeping you rooted to the spot. The freeze part of fight, flight, or freeze activates without the help of Sunghoon staring daggers into your back this time.
The official’s words do little to ease the tension as you feel a rise of panic wash through you, a ripple of unease rattling your core. The boys beside you begin to murmur in a panic as they instinctively move to crowd around you, as if proximity alone could shield you from the horrors of the government- but you pay no attention to it as your eyes shoot over to Yuqi, naturally finding her presence like a beacon in the midst of the sudden chaos. She maneuvers her way over to you with Minnie not trailing far behind.
“They’re going to kill us all!” Niki’s panicked voice cuts through your fragile storm as he joins the group along with the rest of the maknaes, their unease mirroring the rest of the gym’s murmured anxieties.
“What the hell do we do?” you whisper, bile rising in your throat as its acidity begins to scorch your esophagus, threatening to choke you.
Yuqi looks just as scared as you do, and for a moment, she lets her snake eyes widen with worry before she composes herself. “Calm down,” she hisses, taking a moment to let her eyes change color and her pupils expand to that of a humans. “We need to get suppressants on every member before they finish setting up their scanners.” Her voice is rushed and tight as she tugs on Minni’s hand.
All three of your eyes flick over towards the group of officials, their movements a blur of blue as they set up folding tables. They work efficiently to get scanners up onto the surfaces, the metal clanging with every touch. The threatening metal gleams under the harsh lighting of the gym, only reminding you of the nightmares that they bring. “Minnie,” Yuqi whispers. “I have a box of emergency suppressants under my desk- we need at least 14 of them. Bring them straight to me and do not let anyone see you.”
With an affirmative nod, Minnie runs off, careful not to bring any attention to herself as she slips away from the crowd and disappears upstairs. “I’ll handle everything else,” Yuqi finishes, “I’ll let the other gym members know what’s going on. Can you let the boys know?”
You nod your head at her, waiting for her to leave first before turning around. When she does, you take that moment by yourself to swallow the lump in your throat, the nausea in your stomach rolling like the ocean. With a shaky breath, you turn around and make your way back toward the bench where the remainder of the boys have now clustered, their whispered conversation barely audible over the clang of equipment being moved around.
“Everyone breathe, they’re just posturing.” K’s voice stands out amongst the rest, his usual air of confidence sweeping through the circle of boys.
Jay shakes his shoulders and twists his face into a grimace, “How can you be so sure?” he questions, an evident look of anger on his face.
“If they were so serious about this inspection and arresting the supernatural, they would just use those hand-held scanners,” K explains, leaning forward as he lowers his voice, “It’d be a hell of a lot more efficient and time-productive to use those instead of setting these stupid machines up. They’re only used on the trucks when they go out for their nighttime patrols. This whole setup is just a show to see if any of us panic, if we just act normal, they’ll pack up and leave.”
Jake lets out a scoff and kicks the air in annoyance, shuffling away from you when you come to join the discussion, “That’s a complete load of bull.” The other boys nod in agreement, seemingly apprehensive in believing K’s words.
K straightens up, brushing off Jake’s comment. “I’ll talk to them, get them to go away.” He breaks off from the impromptu circle that had formed around the bench and walks away, confidence radiating in his strides. Before he can get too far, you intercept K as he pulls away from the group, wrapping a hand around his forearm.
“Don’t,” you urge, voice low so no one else hears, “We’re going to use suppressants, so don’t.”
K gives you a look that you can’t quite decipher before tearing his arm free from your grip, continuing ahead without a word. The sudden absence leaves a ghost of tension in your heart, fingers tingling with a trembling heat that has you rooted to the spot. You hesitate in your spot, frustration clawing its way up your throat as you force yourself to trail after him, each step feeling heavier than the last.
The air grows cold and distant as you observe K, his usual confident stride not faltering as he gets closer to the enforcement division. You feel insignificant to his cause, like a kicked puppy that chases after their master despite the abuse. The boys close in behind you, the weight of their presence holding you from getting any closer to K as he approaches a burly man with a golden badge clipped to his belt, one that the rest don’t.
Your breath catches in your throat when you see K’s slender hand reach up to tap the man on the shoulder, “Hey, are you the one in charge of everything?” he asks.
“That’s correct,” the man turns around to face K. His gaze sweeps over the tall boy, slow and encroaching as though he’s sizing him up like a school bully. His face is worn out, fine wrinkles gracing his features as he stares hard at K. A quick glance at the rest of the officials has you realizing that they’re all very similar in age, sporting the same weathered look on their faces. Your mind jumps to the worst case scenario; if K fucked up, it’d be easy to eliminate those grandpas but the fallout would be messy to clean up. And that’s not considering the trouble later down the line that the unnecessary violence would bring. “Did you need something?”
K straightens his posture, jutting his chest out to appear more composed than how he feels. “I understand you have a job to do,” he begins, voice holding steady as he confronts the man, “but we do too. You’re wasting your time here.”
The man’s brow raises at the statement, his expression turning from annoyed to intrigued. “And why is that?”
The official’s response feeding into K’s claims has him high off of confidence, allowing him to continue with his confrontation with ease. “We had a government inspection last month.” He pulls out his phone and shows the man an image that neither you or the rest of the group could see. “We were cleared then, and we’ll be cleared now. Government inspections are only supposed to be conducted every 6 months, it’s not our fault the enforcement division can’t keep their records straight.”
The man looks wary, like he’s swayed to believe K’s proclamations, but his next response has that little resolve in you shattering. “Well, then you should have no problem letting us inspect your building.”
It’s like K wasn’t expecting the official to turn this on him, his face twisting into a small scowl. He whispers something to the official before taking a step back. “You’re correct, but right now, we are preparing to receive some high-profile clients for some weight training, and any disruption to their schedule will be noticed. I’m sure you wouldn’t want any complaints about wasting time and resources to reach your superiors, would you?”
The official presses his lips into a thin line, turning to glance back at his team. A thick silence follows after K, stretching on with every second that goes by. You hold your breath out of fear, feeling the thread of your pulse intensify and beat against your throat. Minnie finally comes down from the office, a hand bag hanging from your shoulder. She slips into the crowd behind you, nudging Yuqi in the side. You worry her movements may have alerted the team to her presence, but it’s almost like they’re looking for a reason outside of K’s words to not stay.
Finally, the man turns back and lets out a long breath. “Fine, but only because we’re running behind schedule already.”
With a quick flick of the hand, the officials begin to dismantle their equipment. Your jaw hangs open as you watch them leave, their presence disappearing as quickly as they appeared. Shock roots you to the spot as you stand there for a moment, disbelief rearranging your guts as you try to make sense of what just happened.
When K turns around, a huge smirk is plastered across his face and you step out of your haze to yell at him. “What the hell?” you snap, your voice breaking through the timid silence. “That could’ve gone so wrong!”
“But it didn’t,” he says, shrugging like he knew it was going to work out in the end.
Anger courses through your veins and you nearly punch the smirk off his face, clenching your fists at your side. You were mad, mad that he so carelessly risked everything to confront the government official. You’re upset with the way he thinks he can just act on impulse like that, as if his existence wasn’t also a threat to the government. You watch as K sinks down onto one of the side benches, casually tucking his hands into the pockets of his sweat pants like he hadn’t just risked his entire life on a fucking gamble. Before you can say anything more, Yuqi steps forward.
“That was extremely reckless K,” she starts, her voice sharp as she pushes up the frame of her glasses, “You could’ve had all of us arrested-”
“I don’t know,” Jake interrupts, his tone lighthearted as he crosses his arms, “I found it pretty damn impressive.”
“No one fucking asked you,” Sunghoon grumbles, his eyes rolling to the back of his head as he clenches his fist.
The group erupts into a cacophony of back and forth, their debate ping-ponging between heavy accusations and lame defenses. The majority of the group sides with K, finding his actions admirable yet impulsive. The others, including you, Yuqi, and Jay disagree and state that it would have been better to stick with the suppressants. You find the majority of the group is handling this far too lightly, like you weren’t dancing on the outskirts of jail just minutes ago.
Amidst the loud and likely disruptive discussion, Jungwon stands off to the side in silence with his gaze fixed on the floor. His usual bright demeanor is overshadowed by a sudden solemness, an uncharacteristic stillness evading his body. Your gaze follows his moving body, one that is slowly backing away from the group. His grief stricken expression feels like a warning bell ringing in the back of your mind. You barely have the time to run through the concern in your head to notice his arms crossed tightly across his chest before you’re pulled back into the discussion.
“Guys, let’s just move on!” Sunoo says, flailing his hands into the air to express his annoyance. “K, thank you for getting them off our backs.” Quickly thanking K, he walks away from the group and moves to start packing up his bag.
Yuqi sighs next to you, frustration clearly evident in the way she holds her hands on her hips. “I think it’s best if we all just go home.” She announces, straightening out her silk blouse. Her voice is charged with authority, leaving no room for argument as she turns to walk away. Minnie springs in her steps and joins Yuqi, linking her arm in hers. The rest of the boys mumble in agreement, moving like zombies to collect their belongings; some on the bench and some in the locker room.
You linger in the tense space, the weight of the evening settling into your chest. You feel glued to the ground. The echo of the group's argument and yesterday’s heated intercourse with Heeseung float in the back of your mind like a tape on loop, holding you hostage in your spot. It feels suffocating, disabling you from drawing in a full breath as you fight your own thoughts. The air around you is heavy, weighed down by the storm of the conflict drenching your clothes. When would this back and forth with the government and the supernatural end? The thought nags at you, rooting its claws into your brain as tension builds in your shoulders.
Heeseung seems to pick up on your frozen troubles, smirking as he brushes past you to leave for the day. Your head loops back to yesterday and burdens your anxiety, replaying the way his hands travelled your body as if he had mapped you out a thousand times before. You didn’t know much about vampiric rage, but seeing it first hand had done enough for you to fear him- or want him, you weren’t sure. You swallow down the lump growing in your throat and glance back at Heeseung, letting your gaze linger a bit too long on his back as he walks away from you.
You let out a breathy sigh, slinging your bag over your shoulder. The 15 minute walk back to your place is done in utter silence, the only noise permeating through the evening air being the sound of your steps. Jungwon’s uncharacteristic behavior sticks into your side like a thorn and for some reason, you just can’t shake it. And K- his confidence was unsettling, rehearsed even. When you finally make it to your apartment, you don’t bother with unpacking your gym bag or changing out of your clothes. Although you didn’t really do much physically, the emotional turmoil of almost coming face to face with the end of your freedom stunted whatever energy you had left. Instead, exhaustion consumes you and you fall into an uneasy sleep on your bed.
When you wake up, it’s still dark outside which means it couldn’t have been past 5 am when a sharp knock on your window pulls you out of your slumber. You don’t care to check the clock though, too distracted by the rhythmic pattern of something hitting your window.
“What the-” you mutter, shuffling over to your window. You push open the glass and peer outside, straining your eyes to see past the few trees impending your vision. There’s nothing. You’re starting to wonder if you had imagined the noise, moving to shut the window. But as it’s about to close, something heavy slams into your chest, sending you backwards onto the floor.
Instinct kicks in and you immediately throw whatever it is off of you with supernatural strength. You flick your hand out and a ball of flame engulfs your limb, lighting up the dark room. The glow of your hand is bright enough to reach whatever slammed into you, revealing a large ball of fur. The mass is sprawled out on your kitchen counter while the doors to the cabinets above it hang by a nail. It lets out a guttural whimper and you move to switch the light on. When the pathetic bulb sputters to life, the ball of fur melts away and transforms into flesh. Jake.
He lies on your counter in front of you clutching at his side while he groans out in pain. His limbs kick off everything that was once neatly organized on your counter, the sheer size of him displacing everything in his path. “What the hell?” You shriek, extinguishing the embers in your palm.
“WHY’D YOU THROW ME?” He screams, rubbing his side as he clumsily falls off of your counter.
You throw him a look as you move to pick up your things, slamming them back on the counter with an annoyed thud. “You launched yourself through my window.” You baffle, wide eyed as you look at him. “Was I supposed to welcome you with open arms and a pat on the head?”
“Yeah, maybe even a kiss on the forehead.” He mutters, brushing his white t-shirt down as he takes a few steps towards you.
You narrow your eyes at him and hold your hand out to stop him before he gets any closer. “What are you doing here?”
“What do you think I’m doing?”
“Being a creep,” you deadpan, crossing your arms. “How did you even find me?”
He lets out a forced chuckle, lips forming into a cocky smirk as he swats your hand away. “I’m a werewolf, Y/n.” he says as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “I followed your scent. And I’m here because I want to claim you.” He forces himself into your space, shoving his face into the crook of your neck and drawing in a deep inhale.
You move your hands up to push against his chest, trying to pry him off of you but he doesn’t budge, only nuzzles in closer. “So you get to ignore me all day and scowl whenever I get too close to you, and then barge into my home and ruin my kitchen? Then suddenly you think you can claim me, whatever the hell that means?”
Jake pushes his hand against your mouth, shutting you up indefinitely as he continues his endeavors on your neck. “Stop talking,” he mumbles in between licks. The taste of your skin has Jake growling, your scent practically melting into his taste buds with every flick of his muscle. His warm tongue has you shaking under his hold and you instinctively tangle your fingers through his hair. “You smell so good,” he moans before rubbing himself against your thigh, using you as relief for his growing member.
With your scent getting him off like a dog in heat, he moves a hand down to your chest and gropes at the skin with desperate fervor, kneading the fat like dough. “Can’t believe you let Heeseung touch you,” he growls, nipping along your jaw. You let out a tiny whimper when his canines pinch your jaw, flinching away from his bites. “Do you have any idea how hard it was for me to control myself when you came into the gym today smelling like that fucking vampire?”
“I thought you guys were friends?” you say through broken breaths, writhing around in his grip. His wolf-like hold on you is unyielding, his sharp fingernails digging into your skin as you continue to move in his hold.
“We are, but that doesn’t mean he gets to have you.”
“Why does it matter so much to you if I slept with him?”
“Why do you ask so many fucking questions?” He buries his face into your shoulder while pushing you down onto your unmade bed, dragging himself down your body while his canines scrape your skin. He slots himself between your thighs, forcing them apart with his body. With Jake’s body on top of yours, you can’t deny the rush of emotions pulsing through you as he fucks you with his eyes. “So pretty, but so dirty.” Jake talks like he’s forcing some sort of claim on you, a completely different act of intimacy than with Heeseung.
Feeling overwhelmed, you let your hands wander to his back, finding their way under his shirt. You guide the fabric of his top up his back and drag your fingers across the ripple of his back muscles as he climbs around your body, claiming every inch of your skin with a harsh kiss. “Fuck, you’re not close enough.” He growls, roughly pulling you into his body.
The tough fabric of his denim jeans rub against your core which elicits an involuntary moan that only fuels Jake’s blind desire to have you. “Make that noise again.”
You press your mouth shut, an act of defiance in response to his intrusion into both your apartment and your body. Angry, Jake puts a hand up to your throat and bares his teeth in a snarl, “I said, make that noise again.”
His eyes glow with fury and he presses into you, grinding his hips into your core while shoving his tongue into your mouth. Another moan escapes you as you melt into his fast kisses, his tongue connecting with yours as you fight for dominance. The proximity of your bodies and the feeling of his wet tongue sliding into you mouth has your core burning with arousal. The seat of your panties are drenched with an embarrassing amount of slickness and he can feel the dampness of your underwear as he presses his hard on against you once more.
His grip on your neck tightens as he smiles into the kiss, thumb pressing gently against your carotid. You grow light headed as time goes on, absolutely drunk on the warmth of his lips against yours. He presses open mouthed kisses into your mouth for what feels like hours. You’re not sure if it’s the lack of breaks between kissing or the hand around your throat, but your vision begins to turn white as he moans into your mouth. When a gasp for air escapes you, he lets go, parting from your red face with a sneer. You reach out for his body, whining at the sudden loss but he just laughs. “Please…” you whimper, letting yourself go as arousal takes over.
“I knew you’d beg,” he pulls off of you completely now so he can take his jeans on, revealing what looks to be a painfully hard cock straining against the fabric of his black briefs. “Suck me off, pup.”
You scramble to get to your knees, settling between his legs while he rests against your headboard. His eyes bore into yours with an expectant gaze and you feel an overwhelming urge to submit. With his gaze piercing through you, you move your hand to rest above his pelvic bone but not yet touching where he needs you most. Before you can hook your fingers under his briefs, he grabs your wrist and pulls your attention away from the aching bulge staring at you. “I said suck me off, use your mouth. No hands.”
You cower under his words, red blooming across your face. Was he expecting you to take his underwear off with your mouth? “You can do it, I know you can, puppy.” He looks at you with an encouraging stare when you lean down to rest your head on his hip. With the affirmative nod of Jake, you move to bite at the waistband of his briefs. The fabric slips against your tongue and you wince as the taste of his musk and the underwears cotton fills your mouth.
With a little more effort, you manage to pull his briefs down far enough for his cock to spring free. It slaps loudly against his abdomen, beads of precum glistening under your one light. It sits there staring at you, waiting for stimulation. With a quick swipe of your tongue across your lips, you give Jake a brief look before licking a stripe up the shaft of his cock. As you eventually make your way to putting him into your mouth, a loud moan rips from his throat. With his dick in your mouth, a set of tears spring out of your eyes when you take him further. It’s warm and there’s nothing you can compare the feeling of having his heaviness in your mouth. It’s addicting. You swallow him whole, allowing him to feel your throat close around his length when you do.
You swirl your tongue around the top whenever you round off his dick, but it must not be enough. Jake grows desperate and brings his hands to your head to push you down. The sudden change in pace has you gagging around his length, the tip massaging the back of your throat in a way that only stimulates more tears to rim your eyes. You mumble with his cock in your mouth, you yourself unsure of what you’re trying to say. He shudders beneath you as your voice sends vibrations through his spine.
Jake eventually resorts to controlling your pace by jutting his hips into your face, holding you still by the firm grip he has on your hair. One hand is covering his mouth while the other holds you down on his cock to take as much of him as you can. “Fuck, take it. Take my cock just like that.” He chants, over and over again as your drool pools around the base of his cock.
You’ve stopped using your tongue by the time his thrusts get messier. By now, you’re just a hole for him to use and you’ve resorted to using bits of suction to give him pleasure. “Gonna cum in your mouth, fuck-” with one last groan, he stutters to a stop in your mouth. You feel the thickness of his cock twitch in your mouth as the first spurts of cum are released, coating your mouth until it’s all you can taste.
When he pulls his cock out, you move to present yourself to him, sticking your tongue out to show him the lackluster traces of cum that weren’t swallowed. He’s almost ashamed to admit how quickly he stiffens up again, seeing your red and tear-streaked face presenting to him your mouth full of cum.
He grabs you by the throat and slams you onto your back, tearing your bottoms and panties off in one go. He slides a finger between your folds and groans when your slick drips down his fingers. Jake doesn’t yet entertain the idea of plunging a finger in, satisfied with listening to your desperate whines while he plays around with your clit. “You like sucking me off so bad you got wet? You slutty pup.”
You should feel humiliated while you lay before Jake with your pussy on full display for him to ravage- but you don’t. You feel exhilarated, almost sharing the same high that Jake is on as he drinks you in. Shutting your eyes as if that will do anything to mitigate the said humiliation any other person would be feeling right now, you gasp when Jake shoves a finger in. You feel like there’s poison coursing through your body, toxic and drunk off of Jake’s fingers sliding into you. You whine beneath him, wiggling your hips to rub your clit against his palm.
“Look at yourself, you desperate fucking puppy.” He’s quick to shove a second finger in, growing impatient.Your breath catches in your throat and he looks up to see your head thrown back in pleasure. Jake lets out a dark chuckle as his fingers continue to reach places you’ve never managed to hit yourself, the tip of his digits grazing the spongy end of your cervix. You’re practically melting under him, letting your muscles sheath his fingers and coat them in your arousal. It doesn’t take long for you to reach your first high, your cunt squeezing around his digits tightly as a pleasurable warmth shoots through you.
He establishes a consistent pace to fuck his fingers into you while your body shakes from the aftershock of your first orgasm. “Keep taking it, you’re doing so well for me.” He moans greedily while his fingers kiss your cervix. Your vision blows white as he continues to shove his fingers into your gaping hole, scissoring them to stretch you out even further.
“Jake-” you pant, desperate for more. “Your cock…I- I need it.”
Jake all but moans as he withdraws his cum soaked fingers back, hurriedly shoving you up your bed so he can straddle you between your legs. “Gonna fuck your little hole now,” he growls, tearing your legs apart and sliding his cock up and down your entrance. With a heavy grip clutching around the base of his cock, he slaps his member against your folds and smirks when he hears the wet slap reverberate back at him. Without giving you a warning, he pushes in and leaves you to take him all in one go. “Just a hole for my cock, huh?”
You anxiously tap your fingers along his hip, the only way for you to get his attention because your breath is caught in your throat. “-too much!” you cry out, biting your lip until the tangy flavor of iron coats your tongue.
He ignores you and starts to piston his hips into yours. “You look so fucking good letting me ruin you,” he chokes, bruising your hips as he holds onto you for support. “Bet Heeseung couldn’t fuck you this good.” His balls slap against your cunt with every thrust, the extra stimulation bringing you brief bouts of pleasure. “Bet his dick couldn’t split you open like mine does.”
A sound scarily close to a sob tumbles from your lips and Jake pauses for a brief second to check on you. “What, too much?” You can’t tell by the way his dick is shoved into your cunt if he’s asking out of concern or to taunt you, but the laugh that falls from his lips after gives you your answer. You resort to focus solely on the way Jake slides in and out of you with ease, the slam of his hips working at such a strength that leaves you short of breath. “Keep your eyes open, Y/n.” he commands, moving his hands from your hips to behind your knees as he raises them in the air. With the new grip, he manages to push into you at a deeper angle, hammering into your g-spot with every other thrust now.
“J-Jake!” You cry out, squeezing around him as that all familiar high begins to grow once more. “It’s too much, I- I think I’m g-gonna cum!”
“Then cum, puppy.” As if you were waiting for his words of approval, you let yourself go and feel the force of your arousal send you into a wave of spasms. A white ring forms around the girth of Jake’s dick as he continues to drill himself into your pussy, plunging in and out of you with a relentless pace that leaves you breathless. “Gonna fill you up with so much cum, breed you full of my puppies.”
He continues to rut against you as your orgasm runs its course, leaving you overstimulated and hot. Every touch down there lights your nerves on fire, but you want more. “Yes- yes! Give it to me!” You beg, clawing at Jake’s back.
He tucks his bottom lip into his teeth, “Pump you full of my cum, yeah?” His hands come down to wrap around your neck, using you as leverage to hold him up. “My own personal cumslut? You want my fucking pups so bad, huh?” His hips stutter in pace as he gets closer to the edge. He's reached a loss of words as his sole focus goes into chasing his own high, mindlessly squeezing the sides of your neck.
Your body moves violently against the bed with every thrust, an animalistic pace blinding Jake. “Fuck, I’m gonna cum!” He pants into your ear and drapes his sweat body over yours as his thrusts slow down. You feel the size of him twitch rapidly inside of you as jets of cum spurt out and coat your velvet walls. He breathes hard into your ear, shell shocked by the amount of cum squirting out of his slit. You turn your head to see Jake work himself through his orgasm, lips parted as he lets out a string of groans.
As he slows to a stop, you let your body fall limp as your womb swells with his arousal Jake. He stays like that for a minute and breathes out a few pants before slipping out of you. Fatigue washes over you and you pass out before you catch the look on his face.
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Jake saunters into the gym, a dark gloom clinging to him like a shadow, but he perks up when his eyes land on your talkative figure sitting between Sunghoon and Heeseung. His strides become longer and more energetic as he makes his way over to you, sliding onto the bench before you with an annoying ease. When he sits down, he makes sure to bump into you, taking that chance to wrap his arms around you, ignoring the looks of pure judgement from his friends when he pushes his face into the crook of your neck, inhaling your scent like a man starved.
“Jeez, why don’t you piss on her while you’re at it.” Sunghoon says, rolling his eyes as he watches Jake practically salivate at the mere scent of you.
“I might just do that.” Jake growls, snapping at Sunghoon.
You shove the werewolf with a sigh, exasperation evident in your posture. “How about we begin with sparring today. Jake, go find the rest of the boys.” You look towards Jake with an expectant stare, but all you get in return is his big sad eyes staring back at you.
“Why does everyone always ask me to find everyone for training?” He complains, reluctantly standing up from his spot on the bench.
“Because we need to make use of your puppy powers somehow,” Niki coos, pressing a finger on Jake’s nose with an over exaggerated ‘boop.’ Jake grunts, swiftly moving to turn Niki around, locking his arms behind him. Niki lets out a strangled groan and begs for remorse as he wiggles out of his group. “Say that shit again.”
“Ok, idiots,” you cut in, walking away from them and towards the arena. “You guys have a match in less than two weeks, so let’s focus on sparring. I’ll meet with each of you individually throughout the day. Sunghoon, I’ll start with you first.”
In the corner of your eye, you see Jake slouch away to go find the missing members while Niki and Heeseung slip into the arena. Sunghoon silently follows you into the training room.
“Ok,” you say as you step onto the mats. “I want to focus on your sparring techniques today, see if it needs any fine-tuning.”
Sunghoon wordlessly steps forward until he’s inches from invading your personal space. His dark eyes bore into yours with an intensity you can’t quite define. “I don’t need help.” He speaks with finality, but you deny him the pleasure of skipping out on sparring with you.
“Well that’s too bad.” You say, pulling a pair of boxing wrap from the shelf near you. Unfazed by his predatory gaze, you start to wrap your hands in the black fabric, the straps fitting snugly around your fingers. “Show me you don’t need help, and I’ll back off.”
You raise your hands up into a defensive stance, waiting for Sunghoon to match your posture but he doesn’t. Instead, he surges forward and kicks his leg at you, sweeping the feet out from under you. You land unceremoniously on your ass with an embarrassing ‘oof.’
“Do you need more proof?”
You roll your eyes and get back up to resume your stance, this time, your eyes glow orange. “Why don’t we do this properly, first. Or are you afraid of a fair fight?” Your taunting is enough to get Sunghoon moving, mirroring your stance with an annoyed grunt. “Great, now we can start.”
You begin to circle him, moving around him in a counterclockwise direction like a predator waiting for the perfect moment to strike. It’s Sunghoon that breaks the rhythm, lunging at you with a sharp jab that’s aimed at your face. You duck out of the way just in time and shoot back a swift body shot, hitting his left side with more strength than necessary. He stumbles back with a soft grunt, briefly clutching his side before recovering and swinging his leg up at your head.
His movements knock you off kilter, the stone wall of his calf ricocheting off your skull. You land back onto the mat again, this time clutching at your head. On the floor, you clutch your head and a feedback of warmth spreads through your skull quickly, flooding you with relief before the oncoming ache envelops you. “That’s illegal!” you spit, getting back up.
“Nothing in fight club is illegal until you yell stop, go limp, or tap out!” he counters your words with venom dripping from his words while he stares at you like he’s trying to tear you apart from the inside.
“Fine,” you say between gritted teeth. Regaining your composure rather quickly, you surge toward him and unleash a flurry of punches that are too fast for him to keep up with. His eyes dart back and forth between your moving limbs, dodging whatever it is that he can but he tires out quickly. Sunghoon becomes disoriented and fails to dodge your kick to his stomach, sending him flying across the room and into the wall, knocking the air out of him.
He slumps to the ground with a sickening thud and you smirk, reveling in your small victory. When he looks back up at you, you realize your sense of pride is shortcoming. He sticks out his hand and suddenly the ground beneath you turns into ice, causing you to slip and fall. Now both of you were on the ground. “Very fucking funny,”
The next hour is pure chaos as the two of you use your powers to bully one another. Your flames burn him like an ashtray when he gets too close, and he retaliates by making you slip on his patches of ice whenever he can. At some point, an unspoken agreement to end the spar is called and you both lean your hands on your knees, chests heaving up and down as you catch your breath.
“I misunderstood you.” Sunghoon says between breaths.
There’s not enough oxygen going to your head for you to understand his words, so you shoot him an exasperated but questioning look.
“I drove away our last trainer, made him quit after I froze his arm to the wall.” He starts, straightening up. “He hated me, but I hated him too. I’d push him around till he was bruised and battered and eventually he gave up on me and stopped training me.”
‘Doesn’t seem like a very good trainer.”
Sunghoon laughs at that, nodding his head in agreement. “Yeah, none of us really liked him, but he’s old news now. But I figured you’d be the same.” He drops his head as if embarrassed to look at you as if weighed down by his regret. “But you’re different. It’s nice to see someone actually try and work with us and not for the paycheck.”
You drop your focus down to the ground and remain silent, processing his words with such concentration you’d think he was implying something shady; but Sunghoon didn’t seem like the type to beat around the bush, though. When you finally look back up at him, you can see he’s brought his gaze back to yours and the haze in his eyes has started disappearing. “Why do you do that?” He looks at you with furrowed brows. “-push people?” You clarify.
“It’s just safer that way.” He says with a dismissive tone.
Safer. It echoes in your mind like a bouncy ball, each bounce plaguing you with another thought. There was nothing safe about being supernatural. But you realize that Sunghoon wasn’t speaking to you in metaphors. For Sunghoon, safety meant isolating himself from everyone around him like ice that refuses to thaw. His method of keeping himself safe doesn’t surprise you, it’s hard not to feel so corrupted in a world where being special meant you were illegal. You can’t seem to shake the thought that maybe, you were chipping away at his frost.
Before you can decrypt Sunghoon’s remarks anymore, the door swings open and a confident looking Heeseung strides in. His presence demands your gaze and Sunghoon looks the boy up and down like he interrupted something, a silent reprimand flickering in his eyes. Heeseung flicks his hand in the air and Sunghoon leaves, briefly acknowledging the older before exiting the room. When he’s gone, Heeseung stalks into your space and picks apart your composure with his proximity. “Finally alone again.” he murmurs into your ear, voice dripping with contentment. With his face just inches from yours, vivid images of your steamy encounter with him flash across your mind and you push him away before his stare can undo you completely.
“Just get in position,” you say, pointing to a spot just a few feet away from you. Heeseung lets out a low chuckle but obliges anyway, slowly moving to where you pointed to. He unnecessarily adjusts the wraps on his hand, spending an annoying amount of time readjusting them before throwing his arms up into a dramatic stretch. “Let’s go, princess. I don’t have all day.”
“Patience,” he retorts, finally bringing his hands into a ready position and planting his feet firmly into the mat. He locks his eyes on you and you feel the adrenaline and amusement running through his irises on you.
Upon uttering the word, “go”, you launch yourself at him. You tangle your body in his while cracking a flurry of punches at him at a supernatural speed. It’s a blur of movements that would have any onlooker getting dizzy from watching. Despite the mirage of fists you deliver to Heeseung, he manages to dodge each one. He moves around each punch with impeccable footwork, your enhanced speed just being short of matching his vampiric speed. “Come on, I thought you were better than this.” he says with a smirk.
His fist suddenly connects with the side of your jaw and a ringing pain explodes through your head. Blood fills your mouth and you taste the metallic liquid on your tongue, but you ignore it, channeling the pain into driving a kick into his stomach. He doubles over in pain, letting out a hiss through his gritted fangs. “It’s not my fault you move at the speed of light,” you say, catching your breath.
After a brief second is spent reeling from the pain of your kick, he recovers, though he walks with a limp in his gait. Too busy looking at his posture, Heeseung lunges at you with an uppercut to your face, but it doesn’t land. You vanish from his sight in a burst of flames and reappear behind him. Your foot slams into the back of his thigh and he stumbles forward. He retaliates by painting your vision red, blurring your sight. “Really? You’re going to blind me?”
“It’s only fair,” he snickers, letting his hands dance in the air so the red tendrils wrap around your face more.
Frustrated, you unleash a ring of fire around you which forces him out of your space with a startled yelp. The sparring lasts only a few minutes longer, ending when Heeseung taps out after your flames graze the top of his head.
“Sunghoon’s right,” he says, catching a breather in the corner of the room. “You’re different. You’re not afraid.”
“Why would I be afraid?” You study his face from across the room, noting his usual confidence being replaced with something solemn.
“Did you know I killed my parents?”
His admission steals the next breath out of you. A gasp spills from your lips and you’re not sure if Heeseung hears it- though the subtle tensing of his shoulders tells you he expected nothing less. “I wasn’t abandoned, I killed them.”
Heeseung only looks down as he continues, voice dripping with guilt. “They were business owners, successful ones at that. They used me like a machine, sending me out to kill those that got in their way. I thought, what could they possibly need a vampire for, when I was adopted. But it turns out their blood is colder than mine.”
He turns to you then, searching your eyes for something you don’t understand- forgiveness, sympathy, you’re not sure.
The uncertainty in his eyes makes your chest swell with pain and you wrack your brain for a way to respond, but his words only echo your own painful past. You offer him a grim smile, a double-edged sword wielded before you. “That’s a cruel way to use someone,” you say as memories of your past flood back to you. “No one deserves to be used like that- or used at all.”
Heeseung’s eyes flicker with the smallest amount of light and it makes you feel like you said the right thing. “Does being a murderer make you see me differently?”
“No, Heeseung. The world we live in is cruel, and you did what you had to do to survive. Your past was clearly dictated by your parents and it will never define you. I don’t think you’re a bad person.”
He scoffs, but there’s no real heat behind it. “You don’t know me, then.” He says, dropping his gaze to the ground again.
His words dampen your optimism, but you tell yourself that you aren’t here to remind him of his past, but to help him work through it. Your past, which had once been full of people that used you for their own gain, makes your expression tense.. You want to be the person you needed all those years, and Heeseung is just going to have to accept that.“I don’t,” you say, “But I want to.”
Heeseung chews on the inside of his cheek as he registers your words. The tension in his shoulders and the repeated clenching of his jaws make you think you stepped too far, unlocked a part of his life he wasn’t granting you access to. When he looks up, you see his tear-streaked eyes and a smile forming on his lips and that’s all you need to know.
You think back to the other night, when he had taken you so roughly and then left you there to clean up the mess. That wasn’t Heeseung. Not the one you’re looking at now. “Heeseung,” you say as you approach him, reaching a hand out to cup his cheek. “What happened that day? Why’d you leave?”
“Rage. That wasn’t me you saw that night, I was high off of my match with K and the rage blinded my judgement. I shouldn’t have taken advantage of you like that.”
“I understand,” you say quietly, “but it did hurt, being used like that only to be left alone right after.”
“I’m sorry, I wasn’t myself when that happened.” When your eyes meet his, you see a translucent shine glossing over his eyes. “I never thought I’d be feeling like this, let alone so soon, but I like you, Y/n. You caught my attention on the first day and have kept it ever since. I feel like I could trust you with anything.”
Your heart swells with an unfamiliar warmth and you feel your eyes begin to mist over. His confession renders you speechless, so you offer him a sympathetic smile instead. Your expression only invites him to step into your space and he leans down to smell your neck. “You were with Jake, weren’t you?”
“I-it wasn’t like that. I don’t think Jake even knew what-”
“It’s okay. I don’t mind sharing.”
Your cheeks burn and you stumble backwards, but he catches you and wraps an arm around your waist. With his arm wrapped around you and breath fanning your cheek, you look everywhere but him. “Tell me, did he fuck you good?”
You clench your thighs together, attempting to quell the heat building between them and swallowing in a moan. Arousal and desire coil in the pit of your stomach and you find yourself intoxicated by his presence. His eyes are locked on yours like they were that night, but it’s different. You don’t feel that same invisible tether that pulled you into his embrace and forced you to submit to him, but the lust and craving for him is all the same. His lips curve into a knowing smile, like he’s just won a game you didn’t realize you were playing. “Are you getting wet from thinking about his cock? I bet you could take us both so well.”
Images of Jake leaning over you and filling you with his essence cross your vision and for a second it’s all you can see. His every feature, every beauty mark, etches itself into your memories like an intrusion. Heeseung’s taunts are a catalyst to the wet feeling in your panties and you squirm.
“Heeseung-”
The doors to the training room burst open and Jake walks in. When his eyes land on the way Heeseung’s arm is wrapped around you, his gaze turns dark and he rushes to your side to pull him away. “Who said you could fucking touch her?” he growls, pulling you behind him.
“Don’t you smell it?”
“Smell what-” He points his eyes at you and then lowers his gaze down to your legs which are pressed against each other like there’s no tomorrow. “Fuck, you’re dripping, Y/n.”
“Sharing is caring, Jake. You can’t have her all.”
Despite the wet patch growing in the seat of your panties, you push Jake out of the way and clear your throat. It takes every thread of yours to ignore the pulses of your cunt and to get them back on track. “I’m still here, by the way.” You say, rolling your eyes when Heeseung laughs. “It’s time for you to leave, I need to spar with Jake now.”
Heeseung takes his leave, but before he exits, he turns back with a parting message. “It’s only a matter of time before the others claim her too.”
When the door shuts, Jake pulls you into him and you feel the growing hardness of his dick against your body. You let out an accidental whine into his chest and he chuckles lowly, pressing a hand to the back of your head to keep you tucked in his embrace. “Fuck, what’re you gonna do when Jay and Sunghoon get a hold of you, hm, pretty girl?”
He nips at the shell of your ear before separating from you.
Sparring with Jake follows a similar pace as the others- calculated movements and swift jabs. There isn’t much dialogue exchanged between you as you trade punches at one another, but it’s fine because you’re too focused on suppressing the blossoming heat coiling in your stomach. You’re grateful for the silence. But frankly, you’re so caught up in digging your arousal's grave that you don’t have time to react to his foot pressing against your temples, pushing you against the mat. Before you know it, you’re tapping the mat furiously as the pressure on your head increases.
When Jay strides into the room to replace Jake, you’re barely functional enough to put up much of a fight. His flames burn you far too often and the scales of his skin seem to mock your every effort to break his defenses down. Between an echo of insults that seem a bit too personal and a bunch of roundhouse kicks, you let him take the win easily after just a few minutes of fighting, already feeling the purple bloom across your body.
Before you know it, you’re on your way home again, slowly recognizing the walk back more and more.
Strangely, the weight on your shoulders is lighter. With the admission of Sunghoon indirectly telling you he accepts you and Heeseung revealing his past to you, you feel a sense of pride swell in your chest. And that encounter with Jake, although odd and confusing, left you with a rather large smile on your face. Maybe Jay still held his doubts against you, taking jabs at your ego whenever he could, but it was better than ignoring you. You were finally gaining their trust, and it felt good.
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The overhead lights hanging above the Enha Arena are dimmed enough so that only the spotlight shines down on Heeseung and EJ, two vampires circling one another in the center. This is your first official match you get to see, and you and Heeseung had been working closely to prepare for it. Tonight, it’s Sunghoon and Heeseung that are participating while the rest of the matches involve gym members you don’t train with.
You stand off to the side in one of the corners with the rest of the boys while EJ’s team occupies the other corner. K is the only one not standing amongst your group, lost somewhere in the sea of bleachers and talking to a few men in the crowd. In front of the ring where there are no bleachers, a table is set to seat Yuqi and two other gym trainers you hadn’t had the chance to meet while a microphone sits at the center of the table, waiting to announce the winners of this match. At this point of the match, you’ve tuned out the ruckus of cheers erupting from the crowded bleachers and look on, focusing on Heeseung.
The spotlight reflects the sheen of sweat beading on Heeseung’s forehead, casting a dramatic shadow behind him. His concentration pierces into EJ’s gaze and the boys catch their breath in this brief period of remission. Their auras match one anothers, a red glow wrapping around their bodies which only adds to the tension in the air.
You have little knowledge regarding EJ’s techniques and powers. Though he’s a vampire, like Heeseung, the latter had mentioned to you that each vampire has a unique ability. While Heeseung can manipulate shadows, you remain clueless as to what EJ’s is.
EJ is the first to break the period of rest, barrelling his entire body in Heeseung. It’s sudden and catches Heeseung off guard, sending the both of them tumbling down to the mat. EJ quickly moves to straddle the back of Heeseung’s body and wraps his arm around his neck. Spit leaves Heeseung’s mouth as his airway gets cut off, but he compensates. A stretch of red escapes Heeseung’s body and coils around EJ, ripping him off of Heeseung and he catches his breath.
When Heeseung gets back to his feet, he stumbles about for long enough that EJ is able to punch him square in the face.
“What the hell was that?” you exclaim, blindly clutching onto Sunghoon’s forearm.
Sunghoon layers a hand over yours, “EJ is pooling Heeseung’s blood down to his feet. It’s making him dizzy.”
“They can do that?”
“No, just EJ. If Heeseung wasn’t a vampire, the effects would last a lot longer and be a lot stronger since vampires don’t have much blood.”
Your heart clenches as you continue to watch Heeseung tightly shut his eyes before opening them, seemingly gaining his balance back after EJ’s fist strikes his face. They resume and Heeseung charges at the boy with lightning speed. The two boys engage in a messy fist fight, a number of punches being thrown before each other so fast you can hardly keep up. Combos of all punches are thrown at the other but equally dodged in the same fashion. They’re moving too fast for you to see who’s really winning, but when they step away from each other to catch their breath, you can easily tell they’re both equally battered.
Heeseung’s face is dripping with blood, cuts gracing his face while his eyebrow is split open, and his nose is visibly broken. EJ is no better, his eyes swollen shut as they swell with blood and his body is covered in an abundance of bruises.
You feel Jay move against you and he raises his arms, shouting at Heeseung, “Finish him!”
Heeseung channels Jay’s words into his next punch, red tendrils coiling around his arm as he lands a powerful left jab on the side of EJ’s head. The shadows wrap around EJ’s face and torment him in a suffocating vortex before moving down to his neck. With EJ captivated by the shadows of Heeseung’s aura, he doesn’t hesitate to launch another set of blows to his body until EJ collapses to the ground, his face flush with the bloody mat. Heeseung gives him one last kick to the ribs for good measure and EJ reaches a hand out to weakly tap against the mat. The match is over.
Yuqi stands up and grabs the microphone, proudly announcing Heeseung as the winner. As the crowd erupts into a chaos of cheers, you slip into the ring and grab Heeseung to take him into his corner. You cradle his face, flinching when his blood leaks onto your hand. He looks up at you with a lopsided smile, “Did you see that, baby?” He takes you by the hand and plants a messy kiss on your lips, leaving you gaping like a fish when he parts.
You shake your head and laugh to yourself, “I did, Hee. You did so well.”
Minnie tosses you a rag and you use it to dab at his cuts. When the rag becomes too bloody to make a difference, you set it down and run your finger down his nose. A rush of embers leave your hand and settle into the cartilage of his nose, restoring it back to its original shape. His eyes are locked on you as he watches you with awe, “Go get some rest,” you say, patting his back.
Before leaving, he gives you a chaste kiss on the cheek then disappears. Minnie gives you a teasing smile and raises her eyebrows, “Shut up,” you say before she can say anything.
Sunghoon eventually slides into the ring as Minnie moves to clean the mats, arms working hard at drying the pools of red decorating the arena. “Will I get a kiss too if I win?” he asks with a smirk, his eyes teasing as you glance away.
You ignore his blatant flirting and place a hand on his shoulder. Squeezing, you push him into the center of the ring, “Stay focused, Sunghoon.” The woman standing across from him is named Shuhua, dressed in armor that looks far too form-fitting to be of any use. It’s design appears to be more ornamental than protective- but what did you know? You've never met a valkyrie before.
“This is gonna be more of a sword fight than a boxing match,” Jake says into your ear when you slide out of the ring.
“What do you mean?”
“Valkyries are like mythical warriors. I read online that they’re bred to sword fight where they’re from.”
The match begins before you have time to process Jake’s informative words, your focus locking onto Shuhua as they start moving. She moves with fleeting ease and you can see now that her armor, adorned in fancy embellishments, no longer appears as a burden. It’s no longer impractical, but rather an extension of her exuding elegance and predatory gaze. With every shift in her posture, confidence dances around her.
Sunghoon stands before her, completely unfazed to her lioness gaze. He’s cautious, aware of the limitations her armor keeps him at and calculates his first move. The crowd has become background to you now, quiet like it’s holding its breath as the silence stretches between the two.
Suddenly, Shuhua’s hand moves in the air and a steel sword materializes in her hand, adorned with white and blue gems that glisten under the spotlight. In one graceful motion, she lunges at Sunghoon and swings the sword through the air and at Sunghoon.
He responds to her movement immediately, summoning an ice shield that quickly intercepts the force of her sword. The impact has his shield shattering in an instant and Sunghoon quickly wields his own ice blade to match her approach. He twirls the blade in his hands with practiced precision and advances.
The chilling blade cuts through the air as he swings it at Shuhua, but she’s faster, jumping away from the weapon. Before Sunghoon can strike again, Shuhua sends a swift kick to his back which has Sunghoon stumbling forward. It’s a move not meant to hurt him but to strike him off balance.
With his free hand, Sunghoon curls his hand into a fist and freezes Shuhua’s sword. He throws his hand in the air and the sword in question shatters into glittering shards, rendering it unusable. A low hiss escapes from Shuhua’s lips, her annoyance evident in the way her gaze darkens. With one quick motion, a dagger appears in her hand, though it’s significantly smaller than the sword she once held.
Without blinking, she throws it with deadly accuracy at Sunghoon, but he’s quick to bend backwards in a graceful arc. He narrowly evades the bulk of the blade, the tip skinning his nose and eyebrow which leaves a trail of blood in its wake. The dagger flies back to Shuhua’s open hand like a boomerang and she flips it in the air to change her grip.
Shuhua has no time to throw her dagger again as Sunghoon is already making his next move, his blade wielded in the air as he prepares to strike. With concerning ease, he sheaths the blade into her side, one of the few areas that aren’t protected by her armor. A sharp gasp leaves Shuhua and she looks down to see red stain her uniform. Clutching the sword as though it’s the last thing keeping her tethered, she falls to her knees and then onto her back, chest heaving for air.
Though you can’t see when it happens, the unnatural stiffening of her body and the frost clinging to her armor is enough for you to understand that Sunghoon has dropped her core temperature dangerously low. It’s not meant to give him the upperhand, moreso to assert dominance over Shuhua’s once cocky gaze. “Giving up?” he sneers, standing over her with his blade still lodged deep into her side.
Shuhua lets out an affirmative grunt, a mixture of pain and resignation. The match is over.
Sunghoon pulls the blade out and you wince as the sickening sound of his sword slides out of her side. Blood gushes out of her wound but it quickly stops when Sunghoon freezes over the gaping hole with his hand. “Get that stitched, I can only do so much.” He says, holding a hand out for her to grab.
Though her pride is shaken and her wound has rendered her nearly immobile, she takes Sunghoon’s hand. When she’s back on her feet, you realize then that the crowd has reached an intolerable volume of cheering. Their cheers bounce off the walls of the gym and ring in your head, a feral energy that doesn’t seem to care for the fact that they nearly watched someone bleed out before their eyes. You look over to where K stands on the bleachers, flanked by two men who you assume to be his friends. What doesn’t concern you isn’t the fact that K isn’t standing by his team- you could care less where he is. What concerns you is the sickening fascination on his friends’ faces, like this was just some passing entertainment to make the day go by. The rest of the crowd has similar expressions, though they seem to be more intrigued by the next round of fighters that are sliding into the ring.
“It’s not personal,” Jay’s voice detaches you from your thoughts and you turn around. “All matches are like this. Nobody cares about the people, they’re here for the blood shed.”
“I just don’t get it- what is so fascinating about watching people beat each other up?”
“I don’t think it’s fascination that the crowd feeds on, it’s more of an outlet for them. I’d say just enjoy the rest of the matches, Y/n.”
“Shit,” It’s Niki, suddenly appearing by your side with Jake standing behind him. “I had $500 riding on Shuhua winning.” He turns to hand over a wad of cash to Jake, a grim expression gracing his features.
As per Jay’s request, you watch the rest of the matches, though you can’t seem to match the enthusiastic energy that the crowd just feet away from you harbors.
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It’s been three months since you first stepped into Dusk and Dawn, but it feels like it’s been years. In that short amount of time, you’ve revealed shocking stories about the four boys you train- secrets they’ve buried far beneath the surface. There’s been a dramatic shift in the way the boys present themselves to you, their once guarded exterior now being replaced with a vulnerable act of affection. You’re their confidante, their friend- and possibly even more for some.
Even K, who had rubbed you the wrong way that one night, has become a constant presence in the gym. What was once the original 7 boys has become a group of 8. Though, K has taken a particular liking towards you for some reason. He’s been spending a lot of time with you, particularly bonding over the shared understanding that there weren't many like you; not many phoenixes and necromancers crawling the streets. The two of you confided in one another about being unique, a struggle that you didn’t think the others would understand as well as K did.
Jungwon, however, has pulled away. It was noticeable enough for Minnie to express her worries with you and Yuqi, concerned about his fiery energy having been extinguished after that night of the government inspection. Ever since that day, Jungwon has acted strangely. He’s grown distrusting of those around him, but you can’t really blame him. Growing up in a world without the safety of those bound by blood to look out for you, it’s hard to imagine living without any trust issues.
Still, these three months have introduced you to a pleasure you never thought you’d be privy enough to enjoy- a family. Not the kind bound by blood, but one forged on a mountain of shared intimacies and unspoken trust. Never once did you expect to exchange hours of banter with Jay, or to sit with Jake and listen to him unravel the history of his lineage. You didn’t think you would ever learn about Heeseung’s past and the true reason behind his vampiric rage. Even Sunghoon- his once frosted over eyes had begun to thaw, melting day by day.
Heeseung opened up to you about the monsters he faces in his dreams, the guilt he carries from all the lives he took in exchange for his family’s love- it was a stepping stone into his life and you vowed to carry his monsters to your grave. With his candid reveal, you curated a bond that you believed to be unbreakable. Since then, he’s often looked at you with a soft gaze that left you feeling weightless.
And Jay remains as competitive as ever, but his intentions are no longer fueled by malice and a need to prove you wrong. There’s no longer venom laced in his comments when he speaks to you, instead it was encouragement. It felt unnatural at first, like you were speaking to a man with a practiced script, but over time you grew to get used to it. His challenges became something for you to look forward to, a reason to improve.
Even Jake seemed to have turned a new leaf. The werewolf who was once guarded was now showing you a side that you could no longer classify as foreign or rare. He confided in you about his past after a particularly tough match, explaining to you how his family’s passing had affected him. You grew to understand why he was so guarded, so anxious about showing his true emotions. His outbursts were a way of protecting himself from feeling vulnerable again. Since that night, he and Heeseung began to tag team you. Jake made it a habit to inhale your scent whenever he could, his werewolf like instincts controlling him. And on more than one occasion, the intimate moments Jake pushed upon you were often interrupted and joined by Heeseung.
Sunghoon had also begun to thaw, less frequently trying to ward you off with his ice and instead inviting your warmth as if it’d speed up the thawing of his heart. The storm in his eyes were clearing, and for the first time since you had met him, you were starting to see the irises of his eyes without the haze of grief that seemed to hover in front of them indefinitely. He still hadn’t opened up to you about why that was, and you weren’t sure he ever would, but that's ok. It was enough for you that he was beginning to encourage your presence rather than push you away.
Finally, your life was looking up. You were building what Yuqi called a family- not one that was defined by blood, but one that was fostered upon by shared memories and heartfelt actions. For once, you feel fulfilled. There were people in your life now that relied on you, and people in your life that you relied on. Those late-night conversations you had with the walls of your empty apartment were now a distant memory, replaced by a real camaraderie and a feeling of belonging.
Smiles became your usual expression whenever you were in the gym. The boys were no longer testing your authority and engaged in less fights with each other. For the first time, you were looking forward to your shifts.
Even your living situation has improved. You were no longer carrying around the burdening weight of finding a new place now. Jay had taken it upon himself to help you look at apartments, often joining you in your self-guided tours to help point out the pros and cons of each place. Though your apartment wasn’t what you would call a dream come true, it was a massive step up from the one The Veil had funded for you. Instead of shorting fuses and waiting for the sun to light up your home, you finally had working outlets and bulbs that were strong enough to be sufficient at night.
So when you finally decided on that apartment, the boys, as well as the maknaes and K, had invited themselves over to help you move your boxes- though there weren’t many to begin with. The collection of their supernatural abilities made for a quick 2-hour affair of moving things, one that would’ve taken at least a day by yourself.
In the end, you encouraged them to stay for a bit and open some wine. For once they weren’t dressed up in gym apparel or running off the high of punching things- they were relaxed. And since then, it has become a tradition to come together on the weekend to share drinks and stories, further strengthening your bond with them.
Right now, you’re finishing up yet another shift. It’s like any other night at the gym, except this time you stay for a little longer to help Yuqi set up for tomorrow’s matches while the rest of the boys have packed up and left. It’s not a very long or laborious task, just a few tables needing to be moved and some electricals that need to be set up.
When you finish, Yuqi is quick to run off, stating she’s got some work to finish at home. In her absence, you pack up your belongings and walk to the locker room for a quick shower, craving the feeling of a warm, hot shower.
As you pass by the men’s locker room, a voice catches your attention and you find your steps slowing down. You weren’t aware anyone else was still here, though it was a 24-hour gym, so maybe you just weren’t used to others being here after your shift.
“-you want her blood now?” Your steps falter completely. Was that K? Curiosity piques your senses and before you can think about the consequences of eavesdropping, you slip against the tiled wall that wraps around the entrance to the men’s locker room.
“No, I haven’t even gotten any money yet!” The voice is low and clipped, but it’s loud enough for you to hear in the silence of the gym. “Haven’t you guys collected enough info? You’ve been to their matches.”
Confusion knicks you heart and you hold your breath. “How the hell am I supposed to collect her blood? That’s the enforcement division's job, I don’t need them suspecting me any more than they already do. That Jungwon kid gives me a dirty look every chance he gets. I thought getting rid of you guys at that inspection was enough, but I think he just became more wary.”
A cold dread spreads through your body as you begin to connect the dots. The venom in his words rubs against you the wrong way, lingering like a thick fog in your mind. Was he working with the government? It doesn’t make sense though, how would he have gotten in contact with them? Was Jungwon suspecting K of undermining the team? Your thoughts are spiraling now, each question only leading to another.
Lost in thought, you don’t notice the way his voice dissipates and steps begin to echo down the hall. When a pair of white sneakers appear in your vision, you look up. “Oh, Y/n!” K says, leaning down to catch your gaze.
His sudden appearance quickens your pulse and you realize the weight of your situation, how you look in front of him. “K, I didn’t know you were still here!” You say with a lighthearted turn, hoping that was believable enough.
K steps closer to you until you can feel his breath fanning against your cheek. “Cut the shit.”
He’s got you pressed up against the wall, panic rising in your throat. “W-what?” you stutter, turning your gaze away from his predatory stare. “I was just heading to the women’s locker room to change!”
He narrows his eyes at you, the intensity of his stare making your skin crawl. You so desperately want to just run away, forget you even heard anything, but K is relentless. “Right,” his voice drops down to a murmur, “Well, don’t be running your mouth or anything. I’d hate to see what happens.”
With a purposeful nudge to your shoulder, he brushes past your frozen figure and disappears. You’re left standing there with a tight chest, struggling to catch a breath. K’s words were like a threat wrapped up in the safety of a promise, a guarantee that shit would go down if you were to talk about what just transpired. It leaves you mind in a tangled mess of thoughts, confusion and fear acting as a catalyst to your rapidly beating heart.
You force yourself to think back to when K had first joined. A shiver runs through you as you recall the way his walk radiated with confidence, how his footsteps seemed to echo with regard to the high esteem he holds himself at. He had walked in as though he owned the place, immediately demanding for a spar as if to prove a point.
It unnerves you how easily he had integrated himself into the team, how he just happened to be exactly what everyone needed- a friend. Now, in hindsight, you realize that it was all a lie. Everything you had ever grown to realize about K now felt like it was tainted with poison. Every one of his actions dripped with an ulterior motive that you mistook for friendliness.
You think about the government inspection, how easily he carried himself when he spoke to that official, as though he wasn’t scared of him. He was too smooth, too comfortable. And what had he shown him?
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The next few days seem to blur together, a dizzying haze of your own internal storm of thoughts. You make an effort to avoid K, way too aware of his domineering presence in the gym, around your friends. His casualness around the others feels so fake now, had you missed it?
His threat hangs in the back of your head and you try to throw yourself into your work, making workout plans and writing in the journal Yuqi had given you- but it’s pointless. Your stomach stirs with unease and you can’t find it within you to focus on anything other than K’s likely betrayal.
Before you know it, you’ve practically lost your appetite. The mere thought of putting something in your body makes you nauseous, as though you're already full from keeping K’s secrets.
You watch Yuqi from across the gym talk to the maknaes, helping Minnie out in a small discussion they seem to be having. On the other side, K is with your team, exchanging jokes with one another like any other day. Something bubbles in your gut, urging you to tell someone. You need to.
Before you can talk yourself out of it, you’re tapping on Yuqi’s shoulders. “Hey, can I talk to for a second?”
She turns to you with her lips pressed into a thin line, seeming to be on edge. “Sure, but make it quick.”
Her tone has you hesitating to talk to her, second-guessing whether you should really confide with her, The nauseating feeling burning in your stomach has you opening your mouth anyways.
“The other day, I overheard K on the phone. He mentioned something about the enforcement division and the need to collect someone’s blood.” The words come out of you like a question, like you’re unsure of what you heard, but you press on, insistent on getting everything out before you regret it. You look to Yuqi to see if she’s following along but she’s staring off at a wall or something, a stern expression etched into her face. “He mentioned how he felt worried about looking suspicious and said that the division should take care of it, not him. I have reason to believe that maybe we shouldn’t trust K…”
You search Yuqi’s face for anything, expecting her to share a similar concern as you but it’s unreadable. It isn’t until you clear your throat that Yuqi turns to look at you.
“K said you’d say that. But I didn’t think it was true.”
You blink, unsure if you heard her right. “I’m sorry?”
“I didn’t want to believe him, trust me. But you’ve come to me with an accusation that K is working for the government after he quite literally saved us. Now, I’m sure of who I believe now.”
Your chest tightens in regard to her words, and you silently curse K. “No, you’ve got it wrong. I-”
“I’m gonna have to let you go, Y/n. Effective immediately. There will be consequences if we see you at this gym again.”
You must not have noticed the way a crowd has formed behind Yuqi as she speaks to you, your eyes finally landing on the 8 boys and Minnie. Heeseung is the first one you make eye contact with but he’s quick to look away, Niki and Sunoo doing the same. It rips your heart in half seeing them turn a blind eye to your demise. You look at Sunghoon, but he only glares at you with a store cold enough to freeze the blood running through your veins. The other boys hold themselves in a similar regard, Jake’s fist clenched at his side and Jay’s jaw is so tense you’re scared it might break. Jungwon doesn’t even look at you, eyes seemingly glued to the floor.
Minnie stands off to the side and you look at her with hopeful eyes, maybe she’d believe you. You’re wrong. If it’s not for the way she stands with her arms across her chest, it’s definitely the scowl on her face and tears staining her cheeks that gives it away.
Niki steps forward, “You should leave.” His voice is hard and flat and it’s got your eyes misting with tears.
Your heart lurches and you feel physically ill at hearing Niki- your sweet, trouble making Niki speak to you like this.
Sunghoon doesn’t do much to help, only adding to injury, “I really thought you were different. Just get out of our faces, I don’t want to see you ever again.”
You feel physically rooted to the spot, as if a weight has tied you down. Yuqi takes the extra step to glare at you once more before turning around to leave, saving you from the embarrassment of tripping over your own words. Minnie and the boys follow after her, leaving you trapped in your own storm. When they’re gone, you feel something wet drip down your face.
You bring a hand up to your cheek and pull it away only to see the translucent shine of a tear on your finger. No. Phoenix’s don’t cry. They can’t.
But your chest burns with a pain you’ve never felt. A searing, torrential pain. Not even when your parents kicked you out.
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It’s on a rare occasion that you step outside of your apartment and even rarer for you to pull out an unlit joint. But you need it. You yearn for the toxic chemicals to drive away the pain you’ve surrounded yourself in. You need it to psyche you out more than the overthinking already has.
It’s only been a week since you were let go, but it feels like it’s been a lifetime. The world has kept turning and the days get shorter. You feel like everyone else has moved on with the world except you. The winter wind bites at your cheeks though you don’t feel a thing, you wish you did. You’ve become numb to the cold, and you wish that numbness translated over to pain as well.
You grab a joint out of your hoodie pocket, laughing in awareness of the thin fabric doing little to protect you from the cold. It doesn’t matter though, you don’t plan on staying out for long. Just a hoodie and some leggings should be enough to keep your body protected, just enough for you to take a few drags. You don’t plan on finishing the joint anyways.
Stepping out into the dark, you travel to the back alley of your new apartment complex, a place not frequented by other people. Your only source of light is the distant flickering of the street lamps on the main street that barely reach back here and the flame dancing at the tip of your finger. You bring your hand to the end of the joint and let out a breathy laugh when the ember catches on the stick.
On your first inhale, you cough more than you’d like to admit, but in your defense, it’s been years since you last smoked. Your body isn’t used to the tar dragging down your lungs, but you aren’t used to this version of yourself either.
Whether it’s the heat of the smoke burning your chest or the burdening memory of losing everything you once had, there’s a scorching tightness that won’t leave you no matter what you do. It makes it hard to breathe. You beat a fist to your chest like that’ll do anything. It doesn’t work. Obviously.
You take another drag and do your best not to cough out the smoke, letting it reach your lungs before exhaling slowly. You try your best to focus on the feeling of the chemicals swirling around your lungs, but it doesn’t work. Your mind is burning with memories of Yuqi’s cold stare, Sunghoon’s harsh words, and just the overall look of betrayal on the group. How could they have believed K over you, the man that nearly killed Heeseung on his first day?
Despite your attempts, your mind flurries into a snowball of questions: how long had Yuqi known, what exactly did K tell her, was it all fake? Your chest tightens even more at the mere thought that everything was a lie, even your friendship with the boys. How quick they were to throw everything away, the ache of it all spreads like a poison through your body.
You take another hit from your joint, then a few more. One last hit. Ok, just one more. You inhale. Ok, this one for sure is going to be the last one. At this point, you’ve become numb to the heat of the smoke curling through you and take one last drag, then you go back for another hit.
Before you know it, you’ve reached the end of the joint. Your vision blurs slightly and the things around you become glossy.
The smoke has your lungs feeling heavy and trapped, but your mind feels lighter now. Your thoughts feel distant now that you’ve buried them under a haze of cannabis. You let the pathetic stub of a joint fall to the ground and you step on it to extinguish its flames. The silence of the alley is both calming yet also suffocating. You miss the liveliness of the gym and the weights clanging every so often. Now, you can only focus on the burning paper of the joint.
The sound of steps has your body immediately tensing up despite the cannabis raging through you. You turn around, expecting to see a cat or something messing around in the alley, but instead you see the shadow of a figure. It’s blurry, enough for you to think it’s just a figment of your imagination thanks to the weed, but when the shadow speaks, you freeze.
“Smoking, now?” you recognize that voice.
“Should I be solving world peace instead?” You bite back the feeling of bile rising in your throat and focus in on the figure. You open your mouth to say more, but the appearance of two other shadows joining has you running empty of any thoughts.
The air suddenly feels ten times heavier as he continues to speak, “You’ve got some fucking nerve, you know.” The shadow in the middle steps forward and you can finally make out his face under the dim lighting from the street lamps. His figure seems to effortlessly glide towards you and you stare in awe as a halo of light wraps around his frame. “I thought getting rid of you would help me out, but you’ve ruined everything.”
“I- I didn’t do anything-” You start with a pathetic slur but K lunges forward and captures your neck in his large hand. He slams you into the brick wall of your building and you wince at the sound of your body connecting with the wall. The force of his impact steals what little air you have and you feel your chest constrict. The lack of air has you growing dizzy and you let your head lull to the side. “You’re pathetic.” he growls, driving his free hand into your stomach.
“K-” you gasp, clawing desperately at his grip on your neck. The weight of the moment has you barely holding on to what’s left of your sobriety as you kick underneath him.
“You’re nothing, just a pathetic little Phoenix all alone in the world.” He lets go of your neck suddenly and you stumble back onto your feet. Before you can manage to catch a breath, his heavy combat boots slam into your stomach. The brutal force sends you flying back against the wall and the sharp edge of the bricks cut into your back as you slide to the ground.
He grabs a firstful of your hair and yanks it back into the wall. You hear nothing after that except for the ringing in your ears. You thrash under his hold but it only makes him angrier, “Stop fighting!” he shouts, tightening the grip on your hair. “No one’s here to save you, so stop fucking moving.”
Driven by what feels like your last thread of reality, you bring a hand up to his and let a surge of flames out. The embers sear into K’s skin and he stumbles back from with a shout. “Fucking bitch!” he snarls, holding his burnt arm with his other hand.
He does some strange movement with his hands, you can’t really tell through the gloss in your eyes. From the shadows behind K, two figures step into the light. When your eyes land on them, you realize then that they’re not humans. Well, living at least. What a wonderful night.
They both sport the same grey looking skin, one that clings to their skeleton like wet paper. Their hair is matter and grey and their eyes are sunken into their skull, devoid of any life. When they get even closer to you, the stench of decay invades your nostrils and you nearly throw up.
K moves his hands once more and the figures spring into action, lunging at you. They stick their cold hands under your armpits and turn to hurl you across the alley. Pain explodes through your body once more as you hit the pavement, every fiber of your body screaming in agony.
K moves in on you while the two figures behind him follow in suit. Before you can rise, K drives a foot into your side and you lurch forward at the sound of your ribs cracking. The figures go to stand behind you and lift you up to your knees, trapping your arms behind you. A sob rips from your body as you process your helplessness, mourning your freedom. K uses your captivity as an opportunity to deliver a brutal attack to your body. He uses his fists to begin, the first punch landing on your cheek and immediately filling your mouth with blood. The next blood is straight to the center of your face and you quickly feel a gush of warm blood pour from your nose.
By now, you’re falling in and out of consciousness to his assault. K mutters something under his breath and you wake up to the feeling of your arm being twisted so far back you hear a snap. The pain is blinding and you scream out, your throat going raw from the exertion of your vocal cords.
After some time, the figures behind you finally let go of you. With the lack of support coming from their hold, you crumble to the ground. You can barely register the feeling of K’s boot slamming into your side, and then into the back of your head. “There’s just one last thing,” he pulls something out from his coat pocket and you barely catch the glint of a blade in the corner of your eye. He crouches down to your level and smiles. In one quick motion, he plunges the knife into your stomach and drags the blade downward while twisting it.
You can only manage a few garbled groans and whimpers, your vocal chords completely shot from your screams early. Feeling satisfied, K pulls the knife out and basks in the sight of blood pouring out of your wound. With another mutter beneath his breath, the two figures disappear into thin air and he walks away.
You feel nothing but raw, excruciating pain all over your body. You’re not sure if it’s tears or blood on your face, and you’re barely conscious enough to process the sound of footsteps approaching you again. Instinctively, you tense up your muscles with what little energy you have and close your eyes in fear.
“Y/n!” You know that voice. “Stay awake for me!”
read part 3
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Tip for non Hispanic ppl writing Spanglish
*I initially wrote this at 1 am so like, keep that in mind as you decipher this lol
*context is key when speaking Spanglish, if your character is in a professional setting they probably won’t speak Spanglish unless it’s to a fellow co worker who also speaks Spanglish. It’s more of a casual way a speaking yk?
Also parents, I avoid Spanglish with my parents unless we’re switching from just speaking Spanish to just speaking English. But that’s depends from family to family.
It’s typically like switching sentences and not dropping in random words.
Example “ es Que fui a la tienda, and they were out of milk”
Example “ te ves cansada, did you sleep last night?”
“La neta” is and extremely common Mexican slang term, typically means, honestly. It can also be used to mean ‘really?’
Honestly example:
“La neta, Im tired”
Or “La neta, estoy cansada. Im going to bed”
In the case it means “really?”:
ex.) “Neta?! They said that?!”
I personally say “ de que” which is basically saying “like”, it’s a filled term, before saying a sentence in either English or Spanish
example “ de que idk it won’t work”
I’m Mexican so I use “ósea” a lot in both languages. Another substitute for words like:
“I mean,” “it'd be,” ”like,” “so,” “that is,” “therefore,” and “or.”
Ex. “ ósea, it looks weird idk”
The famous “ pero like” I personally don’t use a lot but an example of how it’s used in Spanglish is “ pero like, how did it happen?”
Sometimes I Just say “ fuck” but like in my Mexican accent or in a sentence.
“ fuck, perdí mi pulsera”
When I get startled I cuss in both English and Spanish but a Spanglish example would be
*insert random startling noise
“ ala verga! That scared me” or “ hijo de tu puta madre!” when something REALLY scared the shit out of me lol
“Chingada madre, where did that come from”
Rlly insert any cuss word in there and it probably works in Spanglish.
Edit bc I thought of this the morning after
In Mexican Spanish for whatever reason the word “madre” can be used like kinda like a cuss word lol.
Example “ Me vale madres”
Which in English would translate to “I don’t value mothers” but in practice means “I don’t give a shit” or “I don’t care”.
Another Mexican deep cut is the word “pedo” which yes, means fart but we’ve really given the word so many alternative meanings like
“ no es mi pedo “ = “not my problem”
“Estoy bien pedo” = “in rlly drunk”
“Vas a la peda?” = “ are you going to the party/kickback”
There’s more but that’s like the basics lol.
Also another Mexican term is “Aguas”… which literally translates to “waters” but it’s used as a warning.
“Aguas, there’s car coming”
The most famous of Mexican slang has to be “wey” or “guey” depends on how you spell it. But it just means dude. Another term that goes in hand is, “no mames” which basically means “are you kidding me”.
*men for whatever reason hate when the girl they’re dating or are into calls them wey. I think it’s because it’s seen as either improper or as like friend zoning.
“Wey, you’re not gonna believe this”
“No mames wey, look at this”
Another term is “equis” which basically means whatever
“How was the party?”
“Estuvo equis”
Another example
“ now was she dressed?”
“Equis, nothing crazy nothing wow”
*I recommend for Mexican characters looking into the words, or you can just ask me I just don’t wanna make this longer than I already have lol, “mamar”/“mamo”/“mamon”, each you would think is the same but no, no they are not and using one in the wrong context could be catastrophic lol. They are vital words to our vocab
If you’re writing to a character from a specific country, take the time to learn some slang. Sometimes slang crosses over, sometimes even we use slang we learn from each others dialects. Personally I love “joder”/“no jodas” because of the shows from Spain.
But take the time because if you write a Colombian character using most of the slang I’ve used above, you’d get a lot of hate from Colombians lol.
Some bad Spanglish examples would be
“ why didnt you eat your comida?”
Like no. Just no. Inserting a random Spanish word doesn’t equate to Spanglish, at least not in most Latin peoples lives
“ you look cansada” also just no.
*Edit I saw someone post abt this and I felt like adding it in
If you do insert a random Spanish word or vice versa it’s because you forgot the word but that involves a lot of blanking and being annoyed you can’t dig the simplest word out of you sub conscience lol
Example: “ you look, FUCK what’s the word! You know when you’re cansada…TIRED. You look tired”
Another commenter addition I’ll be adding is using “eh” as a filler instead of “um”. I use both but even in English I default to using “eh” or “ehmmmm”
The worst is when you don’t remember the word, only to have it appear in your subconscious hours later lol
Another fav filler word is “deste” which equates to another more Central American term “vaina” but a less refined way of saying it. Essentially they mean “thing” but that thing can be anything. It’s kinda a word when you’re to lazy to say the actual word.
“Pásame el deste”
*passes them x ítem
“No I meant the remote”
*trying not to kill the person because they could’ve said remote the whole time but chose not to
Sometimes we use bad Spanglish on purpose just to be funny
“Que sad” “Que cute”
* i personally love inserting the word cute into my vocab in Spanish just cuz so to each their own
Something I do is like say something in English and immediately say the exact same thing in Spanish. Or like I’ll say an exclamation in one language then end in the other.
“ GO GO GO, VÁMONOS APÚRATE”
“Que asco, gross”
“WOW, que bueno”
Also if you’re writing like couples tbh nicknames in Spanish would be reserved for when you’re speaking in Spanish and same for English, but each couple is different so if you rlly want to leave a nickname in Spanish in go for it. If you rlly want the endearment to be “ mi amor” please remember that after like the first or second time the Spanish speaker would probably just refer to their S/O as “ amor” or switch between the two.
Which brings me to the terms “mami/mamita” and “papi/papito”. Now, while they Can and are by some used in a sexual manner, they can also be used as general terms of endearment. My mom will sometimes call me mamita or my brother papito.
Amongst couples though it’s just kinda said, I saw someone describe it was you just give motherly energy so “mami” is said lol which I get oddly enough.
Once a couple is well established or just comfortable the woman can refer to her S/O as “ viejo” which is old man lol, but it’s like cute. On the flip side idk it’s typically seen as offensive when a man calls his S/O “vieja” but that depends on culture to culture.
Again mami and papi don’t have to be sexual but can be.
Another simple thing you can do is look up nicknames for certain names.
Examples:
“Mike” pronounced “Mique” for Miguel. Some people like to use “Mickey”, that gained popularity from an old Mexican singer lol.
“Ponchó” For Alfonso
“Ale” Can be used for Alejandro/Alexandra/Alejandra
Another thing I thought of is amongst siblings when referring to our parents we will say like
“Haz visto a mi mamá”
Which means have you seen “my mom” even though she’s both our mom… idk it’s weird but a nice little touch you could add to your writing lol
I get rlly annoyed reading bad Spanglish, sometimes it’s just painfully cringe and just obvious a non Spanish speaker wrote it, and I realize it’s bc most of y’all didnt grow up with it so like this is just what is typical Spanglish most Hispanic ppl grow up speaking, obviously not everyone speaks like this but figured I’d give tips from someone who actually speaks English and Spanish and switches between.
If I missed anything feel free to add on or if you disagree add examples
#writing tips#writing#fan fic#miguel ohara#miguel o’hara x reader#namor x reader#pedro pascal#oscar issac#tenoch huerta#marvel#spiderman#hispanic#fan fic writing
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precious secret
pairing: eris vanserra x fem!reader
summary: eris has kept you - his mate - a secret for years, not wanting any harm to come to you. but when his hands are tied, he must turn to an unlikely ally to offer you protection
warnings: minor mentions of violence against reader (split lip, not graphic description), beron - enough said
words: 1.5k
a/n: alright, I am in love with eris - at least the fanon version of him lol. and I'm such a sucker for stories where he tries to protect his mate from his father, so I humbly offer this as my submission. please enjoy and it'd be great if you let me know what you think! have a great day everyone!
oOoOo
A sense of fear palpated through Eris' heart with every purposeful stride his took down the halls of Forest House. His palms were sweaty, and his skin felt flushed, a stark contrast to the cool and collected exterior he normally presented.
The moment his trusted guard had let him know of your situation, his mind could think only of the worst possible scenarios. The worst images his mind could mangle before his eyes flooded his senses, and he knew the only remedy would be to see, hear, and touch you.
Upon reaching your room, he slammed open the door and immediately rushed to your side. His hands automatically reached to cup your cheeks, eyes frantically scanning for blood, bruises, anything that could cause you pain. It didn't take long for his eyes to zero in on the blood that ran along your lips.
Hands shaking, Eris reached out to gently wipe the blood away with his thumb. Your instinctive flinch caused a pain to wash over his body. He never wanted to be the cause of your pain. You sent a wave of reassurance down the golden bond, but it did little to assure him.
"It's worse than it looks." you tried, grasping his wrist, holding his palm against your cheek.
Eris growled, eyes hardening as though his mind had not registered your words. "What happened?
There was a moment of hesitation from your side, but with a soft sigh you let your mate in the morning's events. "Word got out to Beron that there had been sightings of us together. He let me off with a warning for lesser fae such as myself to stay away from the likes of you."
"This can't go on." he spoke, scoffing at his father's words.
Now it was your turn to panic. "W-what do you mean?"
"It's not safe for you to stay here any longer." he clarified, gaze softening ever so slightly.
"I'm not leaving you." you demanded, holding your ground.
"Love, we thought we were being careful and look what happened. What am I to do if this becomes a regular occurrence. It will ease my mind to know you are safe and out of harm's way."
"Away from you." you argued, nuzzling your head into his neck as you tried to stop the tears that burned against your eyes.
"Just for a little while." he promised. "Just until I know it's safe to bring you back." softly pressing a kiss to the crown of your head.
"I don't know where I shall go." you admitted.
It pained you to think of leaving the Autumn Court - your home. Yes, Beron was a horrible, cruel ruler, but there was still so much good to be found outside of his clutches. The breathtaking scenery, your family, and, of course, all the beautiful moments you and your mate created together. If you left would you ever see any of it again?
"I'll take care of it." Eris said, drifting off into silence as he savored the last night he had to hold you for the time being.
oOoOo
Eris strolled through the halls of River House, trademark smirk upon his features as he came into view of his reluctant allies. Rhysand and Feyre draped themselves across two chairs at their grand table, looking warily at the heir to the Autumn Court.
"High Lord, High Lady, a pleasure as always." Eris greeted, bowing slightly to the rulers of the Night Court. Though, it didn't escape his notice the close eye that the rest of the Inner Circle kept on him.
"Eris," Rhysand acknowledged, trying to be diplomatic. "to what do we owe this unexpected visit?"
There was a long pause in which Eris took a deep breath and pushed aside the snarky comments, the masked facade, and allowed the Night Court to see him in his true form. "I am here to ask you to provide sanctuary for a member of the Autumn Court." he spoke, choosing his words carefully.
Feyre cocked her head to the side, as if trying to decipher a hidden cipher in Eris' words. "And why do you presume we have any obligation to help someone associated with you?"
Eris' palms burned with a heat that threatened to burst free and wreak havoc. A reaction that had become more common after solidifying the mating bond with you all those years ago. But he tamped down said flames, knowing anger wouldn't get him anywhere. So, the red-headed swallowed his pride and tried another approach.
"I know I have no room to ask such a request, but please." Eris pled, bending to bow before the Night Court on one knee. "If not for my sake, then do it for the sake of - of my mate. For the innocent female who has had the misfortune of falling in love with me." he confessed, revealing his most precious card.
All eyes of the Inner Circle widened in surprise, and Feyre couldn't contain her gasp at Eris' words. None of them had ever had any inkling there was someone tied to Eris in that way, but from the shake in his voice, to the bowing of his head, they knew he spoke only the truth.
"I still need time to take control of Autumn from my father, and it is no longer safe for her there." he continued. "But once I am High Lord, she will be able to return to me. Until then, this is the safest place I know of for her. Name your price, and I swear it will be done."
Rhys and Feyre shared a look, silently conversing. Even the powerful High Lord was taken aback by the confession and felt a small pang in his own heart. His mind shifted to Feyre and the lengths he had gone to protect and everything he would continue to do if necessary -what he would do, what he would promise, what he would give up. All just to know she was safe, regardless of his own well-being. He saw those same feelings reflected in Eris' eyes. No longer was he an arrogant heir before them, but a male in love and desperate.
"That is a bold offer to make." Rhys spoke, his voice commanding always one with a flair for dramatics. He saw the way Eris flinched in worry, so he quickly put the male out of his misery. "But we accept."
The relief Eris felt washed over him instantaneously, his shoulders sagging in relief. "Thank you." he whispered, so overcome with emotion, he didn't know how else to emote his gratitude. "I am at your disposal to the best of my ability when you call in your favor" he spoke, standing up.
The thought of Rhysand now having a favor to dangle over his head sent a small chill down his spine. But he would offer a thousand favors to the male if it would guarantee your safety. It should have scared him, but Eris knew that wasn't anything in this world (or the next) he wouldn't do to keep you protected.
"No favor necessary." Feyre spoke gently, after sparing a quick glance in Rhys' direction. "We know the sanctity of the mating bond, and we will do our best to keep your mate safe." she vowed, seeing a new light to the male before her.
With another round of thanks, Eris bowed his head a final time before winnowing away and back to spend one last night with you.
oOoOo
The next day, under the cover of night, Eris stood with you in his arms, at the entrance to Velaris. Tears pulled in both of your eyes as your foreheads rest against each other's. Feelings of both love and despair were shot down the bond, leaving you feeling breathless.
"Please, we can figure this out." you tried one last time, not caring if the tears on your cheeks belonged to you and Eris. We don't have to separate."
"Trust me," Eris whispered, knowing that Rhys and Feyre stood only a few feet away. "I would wish for nothing more than to be selfish and keep you by your side. But this is the only way I can ensure you’re safe."
"What about you?"
Eris pulled back slightly to take in your form, sighing softly at your stubbornness. He gently cupped your cheek, pressing soft kisses to your skin. "Don't worry about me. I'll be fine, and we'll be back together before you know it, alright?" he asked, content with your reluctant nod.
One last time, Eris leaned in and captured your lips with his. You gripped the lapels of his jacket, pulling your mate as close to your chest as was possible. The kiss was soft, but desperate and full of languish. Though you both wished the moment could last forever, you eventually pulled away, whispering words of love to each other.
"Until we see each other again, love." Eris vowed, watching your figure retreat into the safety of Velaris until you he could see you no more.
part two
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Ough I've been trying to figure out how to word this but I'm just gonna try to wing it if that's ok fgfgfh
I think that if the decepticons had won the war the scavs would more than likely still have been in the same predicament they were in when the war ended in the comics.
My minds kinda blanking right now on exact instances, but anytime the cons were at their strongest, megatron was never at his kindest. If he had won I think he'd send out a similar "war is over" message with the addition that thry had won it, and the simple "come home" attached at the end. I don't think he would have sent anyone out to go look for stragglers or for their dead, more than likely making people stick around to ensure his continued rule and to help rebuild cybertron how he saw fit.
The scavs would still be on a graveyard planet, only their post fulcrum awakening conversation would be a lot different I think. Probably more talk about how things are finally gonna get better for them only for a question (from fulcrum probably) of when someone was gonna be sent out to go get them followed by them having to explain no one was coming for them and they'd still have to find their way back home on their own.
I think their hijinks would still happen and they'd still be stuck wandering space facing obstacles to get back, but I feel the only main difference would be that flywheels would still be alive and grim probably wouldn't be there as I don't think the djd would have missed the opportunity to go see megatron claim cybertron as his own. Actually maybe they'd take grim with them anyway. Sign of loyalty to megs or whatever but thry befriend him on accident and are left with a conundrum.
Due to the cons winning though I think the djd would be a lot more hell bent on catching anyone on the list to ensure megstron's continued rule, so I do think that eventually thry would have to face off against them, one way or another. This would be their big stand off instead of skorponok I think.
But due to how much shit they faced trying to get back, seeing how their fellow cons are just becoming worse and worse, and how the closer they get to home, the bigger their opponents are (from their own team no less), I think they'd still ultimately come to the decision that maybe going back to cybertron isn't for them. Maybe they'll just decide to stay on the nearest con outpost where no one cares that grim is with them and settle there until they decide they want to keep wandering space.
Unfortunately the scavs are ultimately bottom of the barrel cons and even with the win being theirs, I do believe they'd stay down there even if their expectations were much more different
Saw a post on here not too long ago about certain IDW guys in a Decepticon-win scenario and one of the guys on there were the Scavengers and I'm just like... how WOULD that actually work like its intriguing but I genuinely have zero clue how that would go, they're like of those tf things that can only really be done properly in a post-war thing yknow?
#rambles#this got a little longer than i thought im sorry fhgjg#ive also read mercy!#just the scav parts too though lmao#the cons winning could go a lot of different ways for the scavs tbh#another part of me thinks thst when they start to realize that the cons winning isn't what they thought it'd be#they end up going seperate ways#those in favor of continuing on to cybertron#and those who no longer deem it worth it#weather either group makes it very far in their endeavors is another story#ive read fics where post war and/or post lost light adventure one or multiple of them die#so who knows#anything is a possibility#again sorry for the rambles lol
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Ache
Jessie Fleming x reader
Summary: Sometimes love isn't enough. Despite how much you and Jessie love each other, life gets in the way.
A/N / Warning: Angst. And no smut. Yet lol.
A heavy sigh escaped you as you rounded the corner to your apartment. Your eyes were trained on the concrete below as you dug in your pocket for your keys. The evening wind was brisk and sharp against your skin. When you lifted your gaze, the figure before you froze you in your tracks and your chest tightened immediately, breath catching in your throat.
"Jessie?"
She'd been staring at the ground and her head snapped up as she was broken from her thoughts. She shot up from where she'd been sitting on the ledge of the garden outside your building. Her eyes were wide as she looked to you and though she opened her mouth to speak, the words were lost on the tip of her tongue.
It'd been weeks since you'd talked and so much longer since she'd been to your apartment. You swallowed and internally cursed at how, even after all this time, just the sight of Jessie made your eyes prickle with the start of tears.
"Again?" She'd asked. Her voice was tired as it came through the phone and you cast your gaze down at the disappointment that bled through.
"I'm sorry. I tried to get someone else to go, but I own the account, so-"
"I know, I get it," she cut you off. There was no malice in her voice, but it wasn't any less sad. "I know you have to go."
"I'll be back on the 6th. My flight doesn't get in until after dinner, but you can come over," you told her, trying to sound positive.
"I leave for camp at 4 the next morning." Again, her words were simple and they weren't accusatory, but the heaviness between you was loud. You stopped trying to hide.
"We've only seen each other once this month," you stated.
"I know," she said quietly.
Silence began to fill your conversation.
"So, what do we do?" You finally asked. Your chest already ached knowing what the answer was. This feeling, this moment, had been creeping in for months. You'd done what you could to keep it at bay, but its inevitable arrival was here.
A few seconds later she responded.
"I don't think things are going to change any time soon." Her voice was soft, mixed with regret and acceptance. "And it shouldn't. We're both doing what we should be doing. I can't slow down - I have to make the most of my career while I can. It's the same for you."
"I know," you agreed as tears began to well in your eyes. "I'm so proud of you, you know." You added with a small laugh that didn't fully veil the way your voice choked up. "And I never want to hold you back."
"I'm proud of you, too," she echoed, her own voice growing thick with emotion. "And same - I'd never want to hold you back either."
"I really love you," you continued and your voice cracked under the strain. "I hope you've felt that."
"I have." She sniffled. "I love you, too, and I hope you've never had to doubt that."
You bit down on your lip, looking up to the ceiling as tears began to fall down your cheeks.
"I guess this is it,” you said more than asked as your voice wavered.
Another sniffle came through the phone. "I think so." Her voice was taut. "I still want to be friends," she added in a rush, her voice shaking, "but this isn't working. I can't give you what you need, and..."
"I can't give you what you need," you finished for her.
"Yeah," she admitted quietly. "I've never wanted someone the way I want you. I love you so much-" her voice was breaking "-I miss you all the time. And even when we're together, it breaks my heart because I know we have to leave again soon."
"It hurts to be together and apart. I know the feeling," you relayed sadly. "I wish it wasn't this way. I can't imagine loving anyone more."
"I don't want to ask you to wait. And I know you won't ask me to wait for you because neither of us wants to make promises we can't keep."
"Jessie." Her name came out in a strangled whimper and you heard her cry.
"I can't imagine not loving you. But, if you meet someone who makes you happy and gives you what you need...," she trailed off.
"I understand. And I wish the same for you," you said even though it felt like a dagger through your heart.
Silence infiltrated your conversation once more before a laugh escaped you, though it came out more like a sob.
"I did not expect this call to go this way."
Jessie gave a watery laugh of her own. "Me neither." A pause. "I guess it's been coming though."
"I know," you relented. "I just didn't want it to be true."
After a few moments, Jessie spoke again.
"I love you, Y/N."
"I love you, too, Jessie. Always."
You said you'd be friends, but it was all at once too easy and too difficult. As was the problem, it wasn't that often you got to see each other or talk, but when you did, it felt like the most natural thing in the world to be with her. So when she stood too close, held your gaze for too long, or when you'd hug at the end of the night and hold onto one another too tightly and for too long, it tore you apart.
That had gone on for nearly a year, and it hadn't gotten any easier. You fell back into old habits just too easily.
The last time you saw each other, at a mutual friend’s birthday, she’d come over to say “hi”. Innocent enough until something as simple as showing her something on your phone turned into you two sitting so close together your legs touched. As you talked, if you turned your head too much to the side your lips would’ve grazed her cheek. Did she mean for her hand to brush against yours?
The only way to move on was to cut yourself off completely. She'd understood and she even apologized for making things difficult, but it wasn't just her, it was you too.
Now, here she was sitting outside of your apartment, shivering and cold, looking to you and struggling to find her words.
"What are you doing here?" You finally asked. "Shouldn't you be with the team?"
"You saw?" She asked, looking so innocent and you cursed the rush of affection that rose in you.
"Win the Shield? Of course I did." You had to laugh. A smile finally broke out across her freckled face and that still too familiar pink tinge grew darker across her cheeks. You relented some. "You were great. No surprise."
Jessie began to fidget, her hands jostling in her jacket pockets and she shuffled idly from foot to foot. She scratched the back of her neck as she went back to studying the pavement. This time she managed to speak though.
"I-I'm sorry to show up out of the blue. I just - we were all celebrating, and of course I was happy, but, I-I don't know." She huffed in frustration. “I’ve been sitting here thinking and planning what I was going to say and now…”
"It's okay, Jess," you told her gently, understanding that this was not her norm and something was clearly going on. She looked up at you and gave a couple of grateful nods. She studied you for a few seconds and it pained you that even during that time you were getting lost in her eyes.
"I know you said you don't want to see me - that being around each other and talking was making it too hard to move on." She paused, though her eyes didn't leave yours. You saw her steel herself and she straightened up as she continued. "But I don't want to move on. And, to be honest, I've known it deep down for a while now.
"Today - every game, really - I found myself looking out into the crowd too many times searching for you. And when we were leaving, everyone's all stoked to go out and party, but I just wanted to be with you - anywhere with you. I wanted to share this with you. So, even after a year of me trying to tell myself that we made the right decision, I know we - or at least I - was dead wrong. Because I miss you. So much.” Her voice wavered and her eyes glistened. “It's not just this that I want to share with you - it's every day, little moments and the big. I don’t care if it has to be through text or a call most of the time. It just has to be you.”
"Jessie." You breathed her name out, trying desperately to process everything she was telling you. She took a step towards you, shoulders set and determined and she carried on.
"I love you. From the beginning and I never stopped. I know you're trying to move on, but this is me taking a chance and telling you how I feel. I don't want you to move on - I want to be the person you come home to, the person you call, with you through the good and the bad. I know our schedules are still a problem, but I'd rather have one evening with you than a year without."
Your breath hitched as her proclamations grew. You saw her clench and unclench her fists nervously before she continued.
“And even if one day you’d decide we could be friends again,” she trailed off momentarily, gaze shifting away before settling on you once again resolutely, “honestly, I don’t want to be friends. You’re right - we can’t be friends. I can’t be next to you and pretend I don’t want to hold you, I don’t want to kiss you. Or talk with you and not tell you that I love you and you mean the world to me. And,” she took a steadying breath, “I’m really hoping that you feel the same.”
Jessie fidgeted a bit, some of her doubt and insecurity creeping back in. Still, she looked at you with hopeful eyes.
"So, will you have me?"
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I've been deepdiving the hoshina tag and you are definitely one of my favourites to read from with the way you portray him 😭😭😭 so I'm wondering how it'd be with him and a reader that's always portrayed as the elegant and forward type... (kind of like shinobu kocho? if you're familiar with her) and on a rough mission he finds her like... heavily injured and he's thinking that it's the first time he's seen her so different from how she usually acts
this is my first time requesting ever.... so if there's some kind or etiquette I'm missing please don't hesitate to tell...........
THANK YOU SO MUCH! This means a lot to me! And, my dude, I just portray what I think of him- that he's the biggest freaking green flag EVER lol. And don't even worry about requesting etiquette, I just joined tumblr a couple weeks ago so you're totally fine, I wouldn't even know either. I'm just glad I could be your first request! Hope I do it justice, thanks again for your support. Also sorry for the wait. Also there were so many different ways I could've gone with this prompt so I hope the one I chose turns out okay.
Honest
There was always a line out the door of officers looking to train with you and today was no different.
Besides the fact that your technique was utterly flawless and you made combat look as graceful as ballet, you were also just stunningly gorgeous. Any man would die just to get a glimpse of you, let alone spar with you. Taking a punch to the face or a kick to the abdomen was an honor if it was from you.
And you were always the same with every man, you never showed any favoritism. You'd give them the same small smile, giving your honest advice when asked, but nothing more than that. You never even blinked at someone longer than you usually did with anyone else.
But even though it seemed like no one had caught (or could catch) your particular attention, there was in fact one man that you had to actively try to subdue your feelings for. You were thankful that no one had noticed that every time a certain Vice Captain walked into the room, your eyes always somehow wandered in the opposite direction of him. And when you'd hear him laugh or even just give out orders, your teeth would clench together to keep from smiling at his voice.
You weren't one to give away parts of yourself easily, having lost all of your family, but one day you'd suddenly found that it was much harder for you to not want to just give everything to him. Especially when you had realized that he was into you too. No matter where you were on campus, he'd make it his mission to find you, to be near you. He'd tell you his best jokes, trying to get you to crack more than just your usual small smile. He'd fight all out with you during training sessions, trying to get you to break a sweat for once, claiming that it did something to him watching you all worked up. It had become quite the strain on you, trying to treat him the same as everyone else when you were dying to just push him up against a wall and kiss him. You'd settle for even just holding his hand or brushing your shoulder up against his. But this wasn't like you- to want such immature, naive things.
You were someone who was wanted, you did not want. You were someone who was needed, you did not need. In fact, you were so hesitant to rely on anything, that if you could've figured out a way to live without oxygen you would've so as to not be indebted to the air filling your lungs.
Your skill and your independence were your swords and you wielded them with grace, distancing yourself from the crowds, but making yourself into a pretty show for them to watch. You were fine if they watched you, as long as that was all that they did. You couldn't imagine someone actually courting you, touching you, loving you.
But you did imagine Hoshina- it was more often than you'd like to admit and it irked you. You thought about just flat out ignoring him, turning down his requests to spar with you. But then he'd be different than everyone else. He'd be someone who spurred enough emotion in you to warrant unnatural behavior. And you refused to give in to emotion, especially emotion so childish and needy as something like love.
So you spent the day the way you always did, giving every officer a proper amount of time to train with you, and ending each session with a curt smile and a nod, gesturing for the next combatant to approach.
But then the alarm went off, signaling a kaiju attack. You thought you'd handle this the way you always did, no mess, no fuss, just efficient and effortless. But this was no ordinary kaiju and tonight was no ordinary night.
You had let all the lower ranking officers handle yoju duty and you had gone straight for the daikaiju. That was not abnormal behavior, you were always confident in your skills and they always served you well. But not tonight.
Tonight, you were humbled in the most brutal way possible.
Your fight had drawn you away from the rest of the squad, and now you were glad it had because you were ashamed to be in such a sorry, gruesome state. You had sustained heavy damage and for the first time in your life, you genuinely considered you might die here.
You thought of all the friends and family that you'd lost to war, kaiju, sickness. You wondered if you were ready to join them. It would be easier to let go.
"But I'm not done yet... I haven't..." You spit up blood, and shakily rise to your feet, groaning at the effort. I haven't even told him how I felt yet, damnit, you think to yourself, unable to speak the words aloud. Without meaning to, you being to cry. You don't have a free hand to wipe the tears away, as one clutches your dripping abdomen trying to stop the flow of blood, and one clings to your gun, aching as you attempt to raise it again. You fire a weak shot but your combat power is high enough that it distracts the kaiju for a moment.
And a moment is all that you need.
"Hey there, princess. You look like you could use a little saving. Don't worry, I won't tell the guys."
Right before your eyes, the beast suddenly splits into little dissected pieces and they rain down on the pavement, pelting the ground.
For the first time in years, you smile a real genuine smile as the Vice Captain holds his hand out to you. You're relieved to be alive to make it to another day, and you're shocked at how relieved you are. You don't remember when life began to feel so precious to you.
Maybe it was when you'd accidentally overheard a conversation where Hoshina was telling another officer that you'd be the one to bring hope to future generations.
Maybe it was when you'd forgotten your lunch one day and he'd sacrificed his lunch to leave it in your locker for you to find when your growling stomach had sent you hungrily ravaging through it for any snack you might've left behind.
Or maybe... maybe it was when your last living relative died and everyone whispered to each other about how cold you were for not shedding a tear and keeping your chin up when all you wanted to do was curl up and cry, but he alone told you in passing (not wanting to make a scene) that it was okay to grieve in whichever way you pleased.
And now he was holding a hand out to you. And you thought if you took it you might never let go. You might want to know where this led, what your feelings felt like when you let them roam wild, what he felt like in your arms.
Before you can decide if you truly want to take that terrifying step, his hand clasps yours and he pulls you in for a hug.
"You did good." He whispers in your ear.
You shake your head but you don't pull away from him. "I didn't. I almost died. You had to save me. I wasn't good enough."
"You're enough. You did well." He repeats, firmer this time.
You sigh against him, exhaling every pent up feeling you'd been holding on to. "Th-thank you, Vice Captain."
He pulls back a little and grins at you. "It's Soshiro, actually."
You bite your lip, trying to force down the warmth that's started to flood into your cheeks.
"You know I've never seen you like this before. It's a good look on you." He teases.
"Shut up, Soshiro."
He grins even wider at you using his first name so soon. "You get your butt kicked for the first time, you actually blush, and then you raise your voice at me? What is going on with you today?" He chuckles, nudging you playfully.
"I think... I think I might want to try something. Something different." You say finally.
He raises a curious eyebrow at you. "And what's that, princess?"
"Being honest with myself for once."
And with that, you pull him in and kiss him.
#kaiju no. 8#soshiro hoshina#soshiro hoshina x reader#anime#hoshina#oneshot#hoshina x reader#hoshina soshiro x reader#anime fanfic#han's library
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