#this is very silly sjsnjsns and I'm sorry

[skibasyndrome]

Wilmon + "there's another way I take my coffee actually"

disclaimer: this 100% Grape's fault and I refuse to take any responsibility 💜 (jk ily bestie and I know it's my fault for starting the vampire brain worms 💜💜💜)

cw: allusions to blood. vampire crack. coffee enjoyers everywhere please forgive me Wille

"There's another way I take my coffee actually." Simon, a carton of oat milk in one hand, Wille's favorite mug (filled about two thirds of the way with filter coffee) in the other, whips around towards Wille. "I beg your pardon?" "The coffee," Wille repeats slower, as if Simon not hearing him is the problem. "I also drink it another way," Wille says, cheerily kicking his legs while sitting on the kitchen counter. Except, no, no Wille doesn't drink his coffee any other way, because Wille is adorably annoyingly particular about the fact that he likes filter coffee only, that he discovered oat milk for himself five years ago and now won't have anything else, that he doesn't like sugar because sugar makes it too sweet (no, Simon doesn't get it, either). Simon painstakingly relearns Wille's coffee preferences every couple years so he can get the coffee just right for him every time. So no, unless Wille has secretly switched it up overnight, there is in fact no other way he drinks his coffee. When he keeps on staring at Wille, coffee and milk still raised in question, Wille waves his hand to beckon Simon over towards him. "I have no idea what you're saying," Simon tells him, but moves over nonetheless, coming to stand between Wille's legs. He sets the items down on either side of Wille, so he doesn't have to keep balancing them while Wille gets to have his cryptic moment. "You know...," Wille starts, slipping his arms around Simon's neck and pulling him closer, positioning Simon so that Wille can nuzzle his neck. But, no, Simon doesn't know. "I don't, actually," he says, but nonetheless leans into the kisses and nibbles Wille presses along the side of his neck. Wille whines a little and teases the skin with his canines. Simon huffs a laugh at the sudden shift in atmosphere. "How are you already hungry again, we just-," and then, horrifyingly, it dawns on him. He takes a step back, pushing Wille's arms off his shoulders. "No," he says firmly. "No fucking way are you saying what I think you're saying."

Wille just grins at him sheepishly and Simon loses all hope. He throws his head back and groans. He loves this man, but sometimes he gets some horrible ideas.

"You haven't even tried it!" Wille argues and Simon is about to lose his mind. "Have you?" He raises an eyebrow at Wille. "Who's the guy whose blood you're secretly sourcing for your abomination coffees and when do I get to meet him?"

Wille just laughs again, clearly getting a little bit flustered now. "We could try it though, right?" he asks, and if it weren't for Wille's puppy eyes Simon would not step back between his legs. But alas, those still haven't lost their charm, even centuries later. He sighs and puts bis hands on Wille's hips.

"You can try it, if you feel like you have to," and now Simon is laughing, too. "But I have some principles."

Wille snorts at that, before pulling Simon in again and gently sinking his teeth into his neck.

aoksjsjsjsjsjenskawksma. Hope it was worth the wait 💀💜 Thanks for sending me this prompt and also for always providing very important and valuable discussions around vampire nutrition 💜💜💜

There are some more (less lighthearted) vampire snippets here and here

Send me "Wilmon" + a sentence and I'll write you 5(+) more!