#this is too many humps to get over so realistically it's not going to happen

[aeide-thea]

me, full of ongoing scrupulosity abt microplastics and also a vague sense that it would be good for me to take another crack at incorporating running into my life for 'holy shit i desperately need endorphins' reasons, scouring the shorts market for anything natural-fiber but also functionally/aesthetically fit for purpose and coming up almost* entirely blank: what if i bought another one of the merino-tencel tanks whose fabric i'm in love with (or‚ you know‚ sourced similar fabric somewhere that wasn't already a different garment‚ but like‚ that would involve learning things about 'where to get specialty fabric' in addition to the 'how to sew it' part) and turned it into running shorts? surely it couldn't be that hard??

⸻ * in fairness, icebreaker does make some that tbh are probably ideal except for cost but like. do i want to go running in basketball shorts? not really. and the tiny (women's) version only comes in black which is so dreary. i keep hoping they'll come out with some other colors but so far no dice! also an extremely crunchy-granola company makes some weird little gym shorts in a hemp knit which. i'm sorry, i grew up in manhattan and i'm dubious! they might be great but! 🧐

[tinycozycomfort]

rest in the cup of my palms (part two)

pairing: no outbreak!joel miller x art student f!reader

chapter two: do you feel it, too?

series masterlist | previous chapter | next chapter

series summary: you went back to school to find out who you are—to make another leap in the hope of self discovery. when you finally find that first glimpse of yourself, it’s in someone else. what happens when the mirror tries to pull you in? or  you’re everything joel could’ve hoped to find. he doesn’t let go easily.

chapter summary: you fight hard to keep old habits at bay. joel falls into his head first.

warnings/tags: no outbreak, no use of y/n, (for everything) -> mutual pining!, possessive behavior, smut (w individual tags to come), ellie is joel's daughter, ellie and reader attend the same university but reader is in post-grad, age gap (joel is late 40s, reader is not), alternating pov, slow-ish burn / (for this chapter) -> semi-public dry humping, kissing, mentions/fantasies of p in v sex, possessive thoughts, no one is drunk but everyone blames the wine, joel miller loves his kid!

word count: 5.3k

rating: explicit (18+ only! mdni)

A/N: i'm in shambles over the response to the first chapter, this series is my baby and it means so much that you guys liked it. thank you a million times for reading!

read on ao3 / main masterlist

“The wait begins as soon as I wake up. There is never any “after”. Life stops from the moment he rings the doorbell and enters.”

Annie Ernaux - Getting Lost

───────

Joel hasn’t touched the plastic tube since he brought it home last week. 

It’s become something he has to hide from, a nagging thought that pulls at his pant-leg like a child, clawing for his attention—open me, open me. Over and over he hears it, while in the office or cooking dinner or folding the wash, a whisper that begs him to reach in and claim his prize. When he’s really tired, brain damp from the days he has to work, the voice pours into something smoother, and suddenly it's that pretty girl—the one who’d made the thing—asking for the same; to be peeled back and stretched wide for him, cunt and heart and all. 

He finds himself losing a lot of very real time in the fantasy, chunks of his life spooned out to make room. 

The compulsion isn’t unfamiliar; it’s one that Joel thinks has something to do with his protective nature—or maybe that he’s seen enough living through the filters of hurt and mistrust—that makes him cling to the things he finds precious.

It traces back as far as the girls in grade school, when they would bring him little home-made valentines and wave him kisses first stamped onto open palms. He grew enamored with them, picking them flowers and scribbling symbols of promise in their note-books—the very beginnings of his acts of service. His heart would swell with it, a cartoonish thing, growing and pumping until he could keel over to one side from the size. He chased it in those early years, back somewhere between the brothering and fathering, moving through many someones he could fawn over, easing his need to possess. 

He can feel the need rising now, for the first time in too long, his body hurtling itself towards the ledge of something scarier, and he welcomes it. His hands itch for it, for the kind of love with teeth, that bites and tears into the edges of a substance much meatier, providing a place for the points to pierce and hold. He won’t call it what it really is, prefering to stomp out the whisper that warns him of its arrival—obsession. He likes to use less severe terms: thoughtful, involved, fascinated.

Knowing better in his age, he tries at least to be realistic during waking hours, and around Ellie, reminding himself that he has a hard time stepping down when he builds his hope high enough. He moves instead to just dreaming about you—in little tidbits and at guest-star capacity—to tide himself over until the week rolls back around.

Now, on a new Monday, he lets his daughter head off to class before he allows himself the privilege of unwrapping his reward.

He fishes around in the back of the hallway closet where he hid the case, retreating to his room to finally have his time alone with the creature he’d made of the object, letting it free from its cage.

He pops off the cardboard top of the roll, pulling the drawing out with the very tips of his fingers to not smudge something on accident. The sound of it sliding out sets his skin alight—this gift is one he asked for, but it feels like it was given to him all the same. Sharing a piece of you with him so freely, he feels special. 

He’s gotten used to seeing himself around the house, Ellie’s ever-growing library of renditions of him are fixed to the fridge by mis-matched magnets and framed in little glass panels in her room. It leans on the side of betrayal to have someone else’s version of him up, but he just wants to see it—if it’s as intense as he remembers it. As different.

His knuckle follows the curl of the paper to flatten the image, tacking it up to the wall with painter’s tape to avoid damaging the surface, like his daughter taught him. Joel sits on the corner of his bed and feels a hot wave of emotion fill his chest. 

He looks hopeful. It’s a garment he’s never seen himself wear. He’s soft and shy and child-like, face penciled in with detail that reads like a well-worn novel, bending and twisting to the curve of his expression. It’s a finely crafted summary. It’s guide-lines. It’s instructions, the very important parts of him spelled out in bold, black charcoal, with the gray shades of his complexion filling in the gaps. 

Was he that easy to pick apart? 

He’d seen some of the other drawings, the way everyone else had chosen to capture solely his pose, perfectly articulating the crook of his elbow or the network of muscle under the skin of his calf. 

But you’d chosen to show him. 

Something about it looks so familiar, enough to bring forward a memory of the conversation that had him feeling the briefest pass of deja vu—of you glancing down at the ground, quieted maybe by his proximity or his compliments; bashful. 

He walks out into the living room where Ellie keeps her sketchbook, the one with all the references. He thumbs through it—she’s given him permission to see this one—and flips to the page he remembers watching her use last week. And when he sees it, he feels like he’s going to faint. 

It was you. 

That was your face his daughter had been so beautifully replicating. Upon examining the fragmented portrait, he sees a striking resemblance to the one you’d made of him. They’re the same. Not the likeness, of course, but the visage. You knew what he felt like—had felt it yourself.

He already knew you, before you’d even spoken a word to each other. He admits that Ellie was only capable of piecing together so much of you, and even with the extra bits he’d caught in your brief meeting, he feels like he’s missing out. He wants to see the whole picture. You, in totality. 

When he arrives at the school building, he’s overtaken with a wash of what he thinks might be stage-fright. It makes him feel sick, stomach rolling with an embarrassment that scorches like youth—fight low and flight high—and his body starts to feel sore with the effort it takes to keep himself from fidgeting. 

Ellie’s teacher meets him in the hallway and passes him his slip, and he hums his way down to the bathroom to undress, admittedly working up the courage to confront you. 

As he enters the classroom, his excitement bottoms out. You’re not there. He keeps sweeping the room with his eyes, hoping you somehow had been hidden amongst the other bodies. He tries to sell himself the idea that you’re just in the bathroom, or on a break or late, but the wooden bench you’d sat in last week is obviously untouched. 

He clambers onto the stool, trying to replicate his pose from the previous lesson, much more uncomfortable now that he has nothing to distract him. The two hours are painful, and he finds himself counting seconds to fill the minutes in increments of ten until he can leave. 

His back hurts when he stands. 

On his way out, the blonde woman hands him a little flier, two pieces of neon copy paper glued together to make a double-sided image, advertising the group show this coming Friday. Ellie has already reminded him more times than he can count, but he takes it from the woman with the best smile he can muster, slipping out the door in a stride he’s hoping doesn’t come across as wounded. 

───────

The on-campus gallery is what someone a lot kinder than Joel would call cozy—a tight, short chamber with no windows and a single entrance, like a trap. 

He’s too keyed-up to be kind. He feels like nitpicking.

The metal door at the head must have been an afterthought, kicking back into the frame loudly every time someone walks through, nothing implemented to catch it. A continuous beam of fluorescent lighting wraps around the room in an all-encompassing spotlight, cooking the smell of fresh paint off the wall. It reminds him of picture day, or apartment hunting or something else equally unpleasant. 

He was always going to come to this, because he can’t imagine a version of himself who wouldn’t support his daughter, but he’s not happy about it, and he’s starting to feel dizzy from the too-fast swirl of anxiety in his stomach. 

Ellie had removed herself from his side the moment they made it into the building in search of her friends, with just a squeeze of his forearm and an ‘I’ll introduce you later’ left in her wake. He’s clung tightly to the wall ever since, making his way around the room to look at all the drawings, again and again and again until he feels like he’s on a track. 

Discomfort is a factor, but most of his indignation has to do with not seeing you in class—pointed at himself for the absurdity of his expectations—the voice in his head taking a bitter turn. Were you avoiding him? Would you not attend this, either? Did he do something wrong? His mind rambles on as he fiddles with his imitation cocktail glass, the shiny slip of plastic sticking to his fingers. There’s still a generous portion of what has to be five-dollar wine pooled at the bottom, bitter and opaque enough to stain. The woman who poured it for him did so nearly to the top, maybe sympathetically, disregarding that there was money obviously trying to be saved—deeming his cause a worthy one. He doesn’t even want it, really, nauseous at the idea of actually finishing it, but not having something in his hand was winding him even tighter. So he nurses it—even as it goes warm between his grasp, more unappetizing now than it had been twenty minutes ago—sip after sip to try and appear engaged. 

Eventually Joel grows tired of waiting, for Ellie to come back or for you to come at all or for this night to just be over, and picks a drawing to pause in front of. It’s a portrait of someone he’ll never meet, another graceful stranger coming together in an amalgamation of grays. He can hear people walking behind him, talking quietly and occasionally stopping to look over his shoulder at it in passing. 

“Hm. Quite the fan of my work, are you?” He almost ignores the comment, thinking it's for someone else, as it usually is, until there’s a figure taking up too much of his periphery. 

He’s a little dazed when he looks over, the hot, sour wine settled now in the pit of his belly, buzzing with a flare of something not-missed. He’s prepared to see more than one person beside him, perhaps a couple that had been talking near him rather than to him, but when he swivels his neck, it’s you. You’re just as pretty as he remembers, the face that he looks for in his sleep, but this time you’re not as shy, staring at him straight on—maybe similarly loosened by the pale yellow liquid in your own cup. 

Heat gathers at the rim of his jaw—his neck is red by now, he’s sure of it. Already exposed and driven by the faint whisper in his mind, he opens his mouth to speak without thinking, “You weren’t there this week.” 

You make quick quotes with just your pointers half-heartedly, “‘Sick,'” and breathe a laugh, “Had a few academic duties to fulfill. Gotta keep the scholarship intact.” 

There’s a thick moment of silence, but he can’t look away, eyes weighty and cheeks stinging. It’s awkward but he finds comfort in it, embracing the adjustment like it's a step towards better connection. 

Someone brushes his arm as they walk by and Joel uses it to his advantage, “Do you want to step outside? It’s a little hot in here.” 

There’s a flash of something like surprise across your eyes, but you shrug, “Sure.”

He crowds behind you as you walk step-in-step out the unarmed emergency exit, just to feel the closeness of your body, much better than the distance he’d felt in your absence on Monday. 

The night is worse than cold but it feels good against the heat in Joel’s chest. He can smell your perfume wafting back as he follows your movements, and it makes him pant. He’s ill, has to be—that or the wine was stronger than he thought, because the weird tie he feels is one he can’t explain as being healthy or normal or not fucking scary. But when you turn on your heel to face him, taking a seat on a hip-high planter in a secluded outer corner of the building, it feels right. Natural. 

He shuffles so that he’s far enough for you to be safe from his touch, and he shoves a hand in his pocket for good measure, “Thank you again for the drawing. It’s really beautiful.”

“Yeah, of course. Thank you for saying that.”

He wants to say something more, like you’ve captured me in a way that makes me hopeful about myself, but settles instead for, “My daughter liked it a lot, too.” It’s a bold-faced lie, but he thinks that keeping your gift a secret would look less appealing. 

“Is she here?”

“Somewhere, yeah. Ran off the second we got in. I’m not a comfort anymore, I guess.”

“Is she yours? Comfort, I mean.” You pick at the crown of the cup, rolling it gently in your hands like its real glass, and you both watch the fuzzy pattern of light that catches on its uniform surface. Joel wonders if you have a comfort of your own—if you need one.

“Is it bad if I say yes? It feels cheesy but the kid is my rock. Dunno what I’m gonna do when she grows up.” He shoves at the concrete under the toe of his boot. It didn’t taste as bad coming out as he thought it might. He hasn’t said that out loud to anyone other than himself, but you look at him like you know exactly what he means. The delicate beginnings of a smile crest on your face, cheek pinched, void of all the uncomfortable sympathy he's gotten from Tommy and Maria at the few things he made the mistake of revealing. He can’t find it in himself to stop now with your gesture, feeling relief in having a place to voice his heartbreak, “Honestly I’m scared, but not just for me, y’know? I worry about what she’s gonna find in the world. I just want to keep her safe.” 

“She knows it, I’m sure. I know what it feels like to have no one to root for you—I would’ve killed for that. The only thing you can do for her is be there when she comes home,” You’re looking down again, and he doesn’t like whatever’s made you want to pull back from him—be shy, “Spend time with other people you care about and that care about her. Make that network for her to lean on.”

“All I got is my brother. His wife too, sometimes. My nephews. A few years ago it was just me and him. Ellie—that’s her name. She, uh, isn’t ‘mine’,” he makes the bunny-eared quotes with the hand holding his drink, “Not by blood, anyway. But she popped up out of nowhere and I don’t know how to go back to being on my own.” 

“It’d be good to have a network of your own, too—if you’re up to it. It’s hard to do, trust me, but I don’t think I could do a lot without my friends.”

“Oh, sweetheart. I don’t think that’s in the cards for me anymore. I can’t conjure up much of anything worth listening to these days. Forgot how.” 

“Don’t do that. You have a lot to say—you’re plenty. Just start with one person. There’s always time to make more.” He knows you’re talking to him, but it feels like you’re also talking to that little boy inside of him, small and unloved and still bleeding.

“Do you need any more? Friends.”

You look up from your lap, pushing a piece of your hair back from your face like you need to get a better look, searching for a way you could be misinterpreting him, “I might have room. You have a recommendation for me?”

He reaches out, grabbing the empty cup from your grasp, stacking it with his own and depositing them by your side. He doesn’t miss the way you watch him, how you widen the spread of your legs on instinct, enough to suggest his entrance. He wades out on one leg to bring himself in, testing the water.

Your lips are parted, and when he looks into the opening between them he imagines he’s seeing to the center of you, and everything else keys out. Cars pass by on the strip of street behind him, driven by ghosts, providing nothing but a low song for your bodies to dance to together, his chest swaying closer to yours with every breath. You move with him, and it feels rehearsed, like all of the steps you've taken to get to this moment were purposeful, done in perfectly orchestrated succession for the hundredth time. 

“Do you feel that, too?” He asks, wanting to know if he’s reading too much into it, feeling that sweet edge of thoughtful-involved-fascinated scrape his skin like a sharp knife, “Do you? Like you know me?” 

“Yes,” you breathe, and it’s all the permission he’s ever needed. 

He leans in, lips skating yours, the warm cave of your mouth begging to be explored. He tries so hard to take his time, soft brushes tethering you to each other with the weight of everything he’ hasn’t had the time to say. His whole body is pins and needles—a fierce heat that floats so high it feels like ice. You sigh into him, the start of a moan, and his composure snaps. Service, he reminds himself, act on it—it feels almost divine when he thinks about all the ways he could pledge his loyalty, ready to bend at your altar every day of his life if it meant you’d sing for him again.

Joel brings a hand to the side of your neck, thumb digging into the pulse point at the corner of your jaw to bring you forward, licking into your mouth in search of more noise. He groans when you relax into his hold, so pretty and willing, and works you until you’re just as fervent, daring to suck his bottom lip between your teeth—going for blood. 

The voice in his head is yours again—open me, eat me, unhinge your jaw and swallow. 

He slots his other hand around the bone of your hip, pulling you nearer to the ledge of the planter, pressing his cock into your inner thigh as it swells to life. You gather his shirt in your hand, a tight fist, shifting yourself against him so you can grind into it instead. No one else exists, no one else could ever exist in this moment, or any moment you attend, for the rest of forever. He wants to fuck you, to see how far the attachment could go, how far he could reach down before he finds a warm, bed-shaped slot for him to rest in. He wants to live inside the body of someone who sees him so clearly. He wants to know every thought in your head before it comes to fruition. 

The wine tastes better coming from off your tongue, and he’s gleaning the flavor from every corner of your mouth like he can achieve a second-hand high. His full weight is rocking into you with enough force now that he has to plant a heel in the ground to keep you both from tumbling. He risks a thumb in your waistband in the flurry, tugging at it in the hope of another invitation. 

Before you have a chance to decide, the loud press of the swing-door at the front of the building opens, and Joel staggers back, remembering where he is and why. 

You look winded to say the least, hair bent from the imprint of his hand, mouth in a perpetual ‘o’, and he’s scared to see the state of his own face, not to mention the visible strain of his cock in his pants. He kicks an ankle out to try to adjust, heaving through an open maw at the thought that you might be affected in that way as well, picturing the slick wet in between your legs—a beautiful sheen from just his mouth on the top half of your body. 

You shimmy off the edge, straightening your shirt and he immediately steps back in for more, draping the full breadth of his hand against your collarbone, curling the tips around the top of your shoulder.

“Joel. I— I need to go inside.”

“What’s wrong, sweetheart? Are you okay?” 

You lay a hand over his with a squeeze and he retracts it, “Yeah. I just wasn’t expecting… I don’t know if I can do this right now.”

He can feel his breath restricting, heart plummeting down so far it feels like it’s landed in the ball of his foot; the second time this week you’ve pulled away. He thinks back to the face you made at him in the gallery, back before he fucked this up. Maybe you never meant for this to happen at all.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper, voice strained, “I just need a little time. Just some time, I’m sorry.”

“No, no I understand. Don’t be sorry. Will you take my number? Just in case?” He wants to make sure you’re okay after this, if you want that, and selfishly he wants to give you a way to have him, knowing this might be the last time he runs into you. He’s too afraid to leave it up to chance.

“Yeah, yeah okay,” You pass him your phone with shaky fingers. 

“Only if you want to, honey,” He’s disheartened by the whole thing, but he doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable, so he’s careful to double-check, even if it’s a blow to his hope, “You don’t have to.”

“I know. I’m just—the wine, sorry. I think it was bad.” You huff out a strained laugh, “I want it. Your number, I mean. Promise.” You practically shove the thing at him and he takes it this time, entering the contact with as little squinting as possible to save himself from any further humiliation. 

───────

You all but run into the bathroom in the back of the building, needing a moment alone to consider what the fuck it is that’s going on right now—what’s been going on since he walked into your class two weeks ago and overstayed his welcome. 

You stumble in, bracing yourself against the porcelain basin, switching on the faucet to drown out some of the pounding in your head. You’d been lying when you said the wine was catching up to you—very much sober—but now, in this suffocating, gray room, you feel like it must have at least accelerated the churning in your gut. 

You let water gather in your hands, bending to dip your face in the too-cold pool between them. 

Every day has been mostly encouraging if not indifferent but this feels like the start of a bad dream you won’t be able to wake up from, dragging you right back to that dark box you’d been existing in. He came in from nowhere, kicking down your reserve, for what? For a fuck? To enjoy you in passing? Or worse, to stay? You’re unsure which would be harder to receive.

And it’s unfair—for him to show up right at the point of being fully on your own, as soon as you’ve chosen to avoid getting caught up in that part of your life. You’re past the point of surrendering your time—know better than to want to be bogged down by a crush or the preconceived idea of the perfect stranger. 

You don’t know him, and you don’t need to. 

But you want him so bad it hurts; so bad you had to fake a cold to skip class because you couldn't face the idea of seeing him for the last time. You debated skipping the grade for the exhibition too, but you used any excuse to convince yourself he might not show. You weren’t sure who his daughter was, or how enthusiastic she was about the program, so you figured it was a fair shot. You outwardly willed him not to come, at yourself in the mirror and in the shower and out loud the car, all while secretly praying he’d be in attendance, right up to the moment you saw him.

When you stand up, staring at your rigid body in the plastic mirror above the sink, you’re pained at the sight. You look tired, shoulders tense and eyes bleary. Stray beads of the cool water stick to your skin, refusing to dry in the lingering humidity, balling up together to drip into the open lip of your shirt. You can barely feel it falling over your chest before being soaked up by the material. You feel outside yourself.

Someone starts to knock at the door, a quick and invasive interruption to the moment of absolute panic you’d been enjoying. You managed to twist the lock shut on the door at least, so you click your heel against the tile in a wordless someone’s in here, but the knocking persists. 

“Occupied.” You try, wet hands slipping against the edge of the sink. This shit isn’t normal. None of that even comes close to normal. 

Still, the heavy thrum against the hollow metal continues, and you take a deep breath before practically ripping it out from the socket of its frame. When you have it open, Ian’s posed between the V of the slot, face bewildered. 

“Really, truly, I love you, but what the fuck was that?” 

───────

Four days from the start of spring break, you’re out at some stranger’s place off Maple, invited by both Ian and your roommate—making it a little harder to get out of—in a joint, well-intentioned attempt to make you leave the safety of your room. A party will be nice, they’d explained, nothing serious, and a week off’s supposed to be fun, right? 

The house is pretty, but whoever owns it has demanded everyone remain out on the cobblestone patio, uneven flooring making for a jagged line of bodies packed too tight to fit. 

A fire burns in the middle of the yard, billowing out puffs of smoke you know will linger in your clothes for at least two washes. You swipe at some soot that's gathered in the bowl of your jacket sleeve absentmindedly. There’s no music tonight, maybe because there’s real school tomorrow—the elementary school down the street not quite on the same schedule—and you start to think going out on weeknights is quickly becoming more your speed. There's just the soft blanket of everyone murmuring, trying to stay warm in the chill of the wind. 

Ian’s prepping some guy across the fire to meet you; you can tell by the look on his face, like he’s planning something elaborate. You smile at him, at least amused by his effort to help you forget the weekend. He’s right, it is spring break, and Joel is nothing but a consequence of your stress-induced impulsivity. 

Still, despite your efforts, you’re thinking about him again, even if to punish him. You can still feel the line of his cock against your thigh, pressed hot and heavy into your body like an offering. You rub your thighs together, cursing him for giving you enough material to fantasize about for weeks—your punishment in return.

Ian crosses the circle with your new prospect, and you tilt your cup in mock cheers. Behind him he mouths hot and nice, tell me what you think. You nod, and the guy steps forward to block the flame. He’s handsome, airbrushed face and sweet cologne and long, thin fingers, nothing like how someone else’s had felt at the junction of your hips. 

You swallow, hard.

You honestly don’t hear a word that comes out of his mouth from the second it opens, not even to catch his name. Instead, you think about how nice it’d be if you could pay attention, how much easier it would be to fuck someone you thought was nice and safe and not at the forefront of every free moment you’d been afforded in the last two-and-a-half weeks. About what a relief it would be for him to mount and rut into you without consequence—no emotional burden, just boring and lukewarm like the last bite of something you can’t find a place to throw away. It’s always been easier when you didn’t want more. Yet now you want every night, hold out a hand in your dreams and let him into the part of you that has already carved out a hole in his shape. 

This guy couldn’t pull your mind off of Joel even if he was fucking you. 

When he offers to grab you a drink, you agree and then head into the house, like you’re not supposed to, as soon as his back is turned. There’s a few locked doors, and then one at the end of a hallway that opens up into a bathroom. You slip in, not bothering to switch on the light in an attempt to hide out from being found.

Here you are searching for reason in a dirty mirror above another sink, with nothing but the weak glow of a plug-in air freshener to guide you, too soon after the last time. 

You’re angry, suddenly, at how far he’s burrowed himself into your head, with so little to go on. He’s doing nothing but showing you yourself, a tired tactic to get you to fall in love with him while you do all the work. He was just pretending, right? He couldn’t actually want to love you. You groan, when the fuck was love even part of this equation?

You dig your phone out of your purse. The lock screen is bright—bold lettering reminding you it’s nearly midnight—but you click into your contacts anyway, because it’s not like you’re going to call him or anything. His page is still open, the Texas area code populating under Joel - Ellie’s dad—typed out with caps and all like that’s his only meaningful identifier. You scroll to see where he’d punched in ‘just in case‘ in the notes section of his info-card, and that decimates the cliff of restraint you'd barely managed, sinking in on itself under you.  

Your hands are wet with unease, held hostage by the way he’d read your thoughts out loud. You did feel it too, that searing weight of knowing—of being acquainted with him despite only meeting once before. He had to have been honest in at least that confession. You ask yourself for permission—‘was he going through this as well? what exactly was he feeling? would he explain if you asked?’—until it turns into selling yourself justification—‘you could just fuck him, right? that’s all this has to be, right?’.

Yes, you decide. Just another test of will—you can do it. You can pass. 

Your finger hovers over the number, closing the screen and opening it again and again and again until you just bite the bullet and fucking press it, the screen going black as you shove it against the side of your ear, covered again in darkness. 

He picks up within two rings. 

“Hello?” 

“Hi. Joel,” You offer him your name like a secret, “It’s me. Did I wake you up?”

“No, sweetheart. Are you okay?” 

“Can I come see you?”

[kaelatargaryen]

I have to agree with the other anons about the screenshots, I do believe they are real and the fact that Ange is not admitting to that fact makes me feel I can’t forgive her or trust her. If she was honest and said they were real, I think I could have moved past this, but it’s just the same old scenario as always including threatening to leave when she is held accountable for something she has done. The sense of superiority over other writers and dropping big words in casual conversation (in what I think is a power move to remind people she is a professional and “above” casual writers here) is too realistic and I don’t think Fae or Bel are capable of imitating her that well. The awful things she has said about writers comes from a place of jealousy, whether it’s from the amount of notes they have gotten that she felt entitled to or the world building she can’t match herself. Every. Single. One of the writers she has spoken down to are extremely talented and they need to know that’s why they have been targeted, not because there is any truth to what she has said about their work.

Answering both of these and letting it be 🤍

I can’t say I disagree as I’ve basically already said the same thing — I’m pretty sure it was mentioned in another ask or I saw someone reblog it but yes, I heard she’s made several different apologetic posts. I’m not surprised and we all knew it was coming.

I think the first ask is pretty important and I hope Ange works on it, whether she’s realized it up to this point or not… subconscious jealousy can still play a role in our behaviors. And this doesn’t have to be just talent but the way an author makes friends so easily or is able to riff with someone like they’ve known each other for ever, or any number of things. And it doesn’t matter how many people flock to comfort her when this stuff happens, it’s still bad for her as a person to live with these emotions and feelings. Not being able to deal with them, name them or get over them is what leads to lashing out and mistreating those around us, oftentimes those we care about most just because of proximity then you have situations that end up like this one.

I said it before but whether she said it or it was one of the doctored fics, all that shit was wrong and no one should believe it or let it paint their experience here 🩷

I don’t care if Ange changes except for the fact that I’m so over seeing all this, however… this last lil rumble was pretty intense and involved alot of people. Sometimes that’s enough to scare the shit out of people we didn’t think could change and makes them change. That could be what happens here with everyone involved, the backlash was so nasty that it could their fandom rock bottom. There’s very few offenses that can’t be learned from or amended, if she wants to change, she’s allowed to try. Thats her right, just like it’s the right of others to choose whether or not they believe her and if they want to be someone who gives her a chance. We already weren’t friends by her choice so I’m not losing anything by washing my hands of her and ignoring her from here on out and I’m also not going to hold it against mutuals and friends who aren’t willing to throw a friendship away without giving her a chance to make up for this.

I can’t ask anyone else to move on if I’m not doing it too so this’ll be last piece of mind on all this, if you’re someone who is still so affected that you need to chat and vent about it so it doesn’t feel like it’s eating you up, my chat is open to you. You can make a burner if that makes you more comfortable for all I care but this whole situation has had its moment in the spotlight and now it’s time to deal with our feelings in private so everyone can move at their own pace and not feel pressured or uncomfortable by seeing it still be discussed and not being in the same mindset as others

I love you all and happy hump day!!!! Tomorrow is my Friday and I’m so excited for this week to be over and have the weekend to RELAX

[sub-hoshi-enthusiast]

I'm still not writing for bts anymore but I just wanted to get these few requests out cause I don't wanna be a bitch and make these people wait so long for something and then have me say "sorry lol I don't wanna do it anymore 🙃" but anyways this is for @babyboytae1 so I hope you like it (even tho you requested it like eons ago and I only just now made it-)

Making BTS Cum in Their Pants

Jin

     In the moment, Jin would find this incredibly hot. The fact that you have so much power over him you can make him cum in his pants like an over excited teenager drives him nuts. His favorite thing is when you don't actually touch him, but just tease him with your words as he desperately ruts against your thigh, a pillow, or anything else you've given him permission to use. You'd be sitting on the couch trying to watch a movie when he comes up to you all hot and bothered, so you just keep staring at the screen while lightly patting your thigh and he gets the message. He'd be grinding against your thigh,whimpering and moaning into your ear and if he tried to take his pants off for some better friction you'd just look at him and say something like "Did I give you permission to do that doll?" And he just shakes his head with a high pitched whimper while speeding up the movement of his hips. From time to time you'd look over at him with a "Is that the best you can do?" or "Look at you doll, so desperate to cum you're using my leg when you could just be jerking off somewhere." Your simple words bring him to the edge faster than he thought they would so he starts begging for his release, hips stuttering as he waits for your reply. When finally told to cum his eyes roll back in his head as he cums all within the confines of his underwear. He'd sit there for a bit before he starts complaining about how he'll have to do the laundry again even though he just did it (I want Jin as my housewife ok, sue me) but he knows he'd do it again in a heartbeat if you asked him to.

Yoongi

     If it's just in his jeans or any other regular clothes he had worn for the day I don't really think he'd mind. He loves to make sure that you're enjoying yourself and if him cumming in his pants makes that happen then so be it. He'l be damned, however, if you try to make him do it in pretty clothes he's bought to dress all cute for you. If he's wearing lingerie or a pretty skirt/dress he's found at a store just for you, he's not going to let you ruin it just because you're horny. If you guys are in the foreplay section of the night and you have him grinding all up on you in a pretty pink skirt he wore with a nice white set of lingerie and you tell him to keep it on while he cums he'll just glare at you before ranting about how much it cost and how embarrassing it was for him to go get it and wasn't going to put himself through that again so you can just take what's been handed to you. You'll just giggle at him with a quiet apology as you press a kiss to his lips and carefully undress him before going on with the night you have planned. Sometimes you'll just bring it up as a joke because you have to admit his little rants are pretty darn cute since he talks with a pout on his lips.

Hoseok

     Hoseok is very loud and very sensitive so you just have to play with him out in public, what monster wouldn't? So you have definitely made him cum in his pants more times than he could count. In changing rooms, bathroom stalls, even a little ways down an alleyway close to your home when it was dark enough. He's in heaven when you push him up against a wall, looking him in the eyes as you mutter all the dirty things you wanna do to him while rubbing him through the front of his pants. Just that is enough to make him cum. The thought of someone stumbling upon you two and seeing how weak and pathetic he becomes under your touch makes him go crazy. Realistically you've taken precautions to assure that wouldn't happen but the thought is a turn on nonetheless. Long story short- make him cum in his pants in public. If you make him walk around for a bit with his release almost staining the front of his pants (don't worry, you give him a long hoodie or shirt so no one could see it unless they were looking for it) he would be willing to go another round as soon as you got home.

Namjoon

     Oh my goodness I've been waiting for this one!! Could you imagine? Making the leader of one of the most widely known groups in the world do something so dirty?? Yes please 🤤! He can look so calm and collected to everyone else but he'll be on his knees humping your leg with his pants still on in a heartbeat if you asked him to. Now that's a pretty picture. The leader of BTS pathetically humping your leg like a mutt, not caring if he ruins the clothes he has on. Even better if you force him to wear them a little while longer into the session, taunting him about what a dirty boy he is and letting him feel his release seeping through his pants and sticking to his legs. Y'know what I think I've thought about this a little too much-

Jimin

     Jimin is the kinkiest little bitch, as we all know, so he's down for anything you wanna do to him. He is really into humiliation though so if you make him cum in his pants and then sneer at him while telling him what a pathetic whore he is for getting off so quickly he will become hard as a rock again in seconds. It's not like it's something he would do unless you told him to do so, but he does still enjoy it to a certain degree. The humiliation factor? 10/10 would do it again just to hear you insult him, but he finds it a little uncomfortable after a while with his release sticking to his legs. He does prefer to stay pretty clean for the most part and doesn't like the feeling of cum on his skin. Unless of course you wanna cum on his face, then he's all for that. 

Taehyung

     Our sweet puppy Taehyung :,). I honestly don't really think he'd like it that much. It's sticky and uncomfortable and like hell he'd let you ruin his expensive ass pants. That shit's probably Gucci so I don't know about you but I couldn't replace that in a million years. He's also just a sweet boy who wants your praise so the humiliation factor isn't too appealing to him either. The only way I could really see him enjoying getting his release on his clothes is if he cums on his stomach or something and you wipe it up with his underwear and then shove it in his mouth as a makeshift gag as you fuck him. Other than that, ruining his clothes is a no go. 

Jungkook

     Our sweet baby boy is all for experimentation with you. If there is absolutely anything you'd wanna try out with his all you'd have to do is say the word. I think with this situation it would be more like J-Hope in the sense he would love for you to make a mess of him out in public. Making him walk around the rest of the day in his ruined jeans that would probably be more visible that J-Hope's cause Kookie does tend to wear tight jeans most of the time (which is honestly probably why you felt the need to pull him aside and take care of him cause damn those thighs) unless he's wearing sweatpants which still wouldn't help his case. But that's really the only time I think he'd cum in his pants. He doesn't really see the need to do it at home since there are so many other options but if you're out in public he's always down.

[mazuwii]

Chapter 9 || Stolkhom

Reiner x reader

Previous chapter

Warnings: age regression and violence

Authors note: Do forgive me for the late update, I’ve been hit with a painful period cramps. Now it’s calmed down. 

Though only in the midst of August, it was starting to get colder by the day. Y/n finally saved enough for the doctors. She predicted the price of the surgery, and so doubled that amount. The money she made working in the cafe piled up with the savings was more than enough.

Y/n had buried Reiner in sweaters, thick clothing, a coat, and a pastel blue hat with a cute pompom on top. Finally, she wrapped a scarf around his neck, allowing only his eyes to prevail. "Right that's it," she smiled to herself, applauding herself for a good job, "Don't want you catching a cold on me."

His eyes disappeared in his grin, shaking his head in agreement. She took his clothed hand with her bare ones, feeling the fuzzy material of his mittens intertwine around her hand.

Y/n led him down the tan path to the bus stop, where she'd take directions towards the address. Thankfully not too far away. She'd prefer it if she had just bought a car. She knew Reiner had a huge chance of falling asleep midway.

And her theories were confirmed to be true once they had gotten on the bus, he leaned against her shoulder and cuddled her arm, his body limp yet at peace.

Still, there were many stops before they'd arrive. He silently repositioned himself on her, averting her attention onto him again. Y/n kissed his forehead and rested her head against his, allowing herself to dream.

≈≈≈

There really was no point in going to work for Zeke. The war was over, no one had won, no one had lost. Apart from the countless lives declined in their nation due to the revenge of those once innocent people they call "devils".

The island of people they so despised had hit back, harder than anyone predicted. Although close to annihilating the entire nation of Marley, they stopped, as if warning them to stay clear of their land.

Marley had given up, they left the people alone. However, they were more cautious this time. They stocked up on soldiers and military weapons lined up, just in case. But Zeke knew they'd start another war if their delusional paranoia rose up on the subject again.

The people would purposely have their attention averted onto something horrible yet stupid as the Marleyan government plans things no one would realistically stand for.

Nevertheless, being a war chief of Marley meant he wasn't allowed to speak against them. Otherwise who knows what would happen. The punishments varied. It could get his family tortured, he could be executed or maybe he'd suffer the same fate as Reiner. A life full of humiliation was worse than having his life stripped away in one blow.

Sir Magath, his superior, had always been suspicious of Reiner's whereabouts. He never believed the conspiracies that he died. The military would be invited to his grave, and if not, then at least one funeral home would have been hired for it. But every single one that the military checked had denied their accusations, stating that even if the wife of such a pitiful failure would come into their business, they'd throw her out.

He had a lit cigarette between his lips as he observed the humps of roads and buildings from the view next to Zeke Jaeger. "You know," he began. "I never believed that Braun's wife wouldn't invite you to his funeral."

The blond man shrugged blandly, "I suppose her and her child's life mattered more in that moment."

"Maybe..." Magath responded dryly. His eyebrows creased in thought once again. Zeke could see him do so in the corner of his eye. He wanted to kill the man, to push him off and watch as his body tumbled and punctured against the sharp rocks beneath them. Even after believing Reiner was dead, the military was ordered to look for any signs of his whereabouts. Dead or alive.

To them, he was a pawn. A war weapon as opposed to a human. Every single one below Magath was. Even Zeke. They all knew too much and if any information got out, they'd have to kill them. Reiner got away and if he were not dead as the rumours say so, he could be revealing things. Committing treason had consequences so dire that no one even entertained the thought of it.

So what makes them think, a man raising a child and providing for his family would even question doing it? What could it do for him, other than rip his life apart into shreds?

These past few weeks had Zeke mentally questioning if they hired someone to finally finish the job off by bashing his head in. A brick the size of his foot plunged into the scalp of his comrade. In broad daylight. The bearded man recalled hearing so much. The weak groans that died down from the fallen man. Some children screamed, some adults were cheering and others were silent but delighted. Either way, they couldn't do much to Reiner's motionless body as a superior chief was around. Zeke.

Surrounded by all those sheep had him looking for one who had aimed the brick so precisely. Yet it proved hopeless as he scanned through the random villagers. No one noticed. Their gazes were glued to the gory crack of blood staining the strands of blonde.

"You know, if you hide anything from the military, you'll be punished as a traitor would."

"Yes sir," Zeke answered without any hesitation. Magath could only dream of cracking him open, to see what Zeke truly was thinking. The war chief was both calculate and intelligent to an astonishing degree. But he hid it well, acting mindless and dumb to an extent. For if he even threatened any higher-ups ego, he'd have been annihilated.

With that, Magath left to go back inside the headquarters, leaving Zeke to concentrate on his clear thoughts. Y/n will be just fine and so will Mihai. That is if the military doesn't go searching for the kid too.

If they find Mihai, who knows what they'll do. Would they take him away? Would they not give him or Pieck a chance to explain themselves, instantly plunging them into punishment and torture. Children were no exception to this, some have been fed to hungry dogs alive for stupid things.

All he knew was that Mihai couldn't stay for longer. Magath was onto him. Zeke calculated the next move, a prediction animated in the front of his mind. His door kicked in, armed officers trashing the house to search for something they already knew existed there.

That's it. There's no time to send Y/n a letter. This is it now.

≈≈≈

Surprisingly, the receptionist kindly welcomed both Reiner and Y/n into the room with the booked doctor. They were on time, thanks to Y/n's timing.

The waiting room had only eight lined up chairs in fours. It wasn't a sketchy place, it just felt out of the ordinary that they were accepting right in.

The man who had answered her knock with a 'come in' was typing away on some new technology. He seemed to be balding and had eyebrows as thick as his hair. "Ah," he smiled at the two, specifically, Reiner. "I've heard all about your husband." He gestured at the two seats by his desk.

Y/n shyly sat down with the wandering man by her side. "Yes... it wasn't so pleasant." She sheepishly said.

After a bit of awkward small talk, he finally popped the question, "So, what seems to be the issue?"

Y/n's hand gently clenched Reiner's, distracting him for only a few seconds and when he realised she wasn't trying to avert his attention, he went back to looking at the health posters on the wall, as if they were more entertaining than whatever the doctor had to say.

"After the incident, he's been having behavioural problems," she started, "I have to bathe him, put him to sleep, feed him- basically... he's a child." She mentally winced. The doctor nodded a few times during her explanation, he jotted down her words on a piece of paper, rather than use whatever technology sitting in front of him.

"I see," he took his glasses off, "and you think this is a matter of brain damage?"

"Maybe?"

"Well, Mrs Braun, it could be a number of things. For example, you told me he worked in the military." She hesitantly nodded, "Age regression is a symptom of PTSD for some, perhaps he may be showing signs of various mental illness."

"There's more?- I mean, for age regression?"

"Indeed. We could have him examined by a psychologist... if you'd like?"

While she'd do anything to help Reiner get back to normal, there's a chance the psychologist could cut away the amount she'd need for the surgery. The medication industry can be too greedy sometimes, especially in times like these.

"Today?" She finally asked.

"Today."

With that, they were taken to the front desk, where the doctor was talking to the receptionist and filling out an online form on the box-like computer. After a while of awkwardly standing by the desk, the two were finally met with the doctor. He adjusted his glasses with a confident smile.

"Right then, shall we?" He motioned towards the other side of the hallway. Y/n cocked a brow. "Where's the psychologist? Isn't a different building?"

"Oh no, I'll be the psychologist."

Again, Y/n felt uneasy about the man. There was something about him that weirded her out and she couldn't pinpoint what it was. All she could conclude was that Zeke knew some odd people. Odd people that potentially reflect his own personality. But the Zeke she knows was weird in a comfy way like there was no pressure to pretend to be someone you're not around him.

"Right then, for this practice, I ask to be alone with Mr Braun, is that fine with you?"

Her hooded eyes switched from the doctor to Reiner, contemplating whether or not she'd trust him to take the feeble man alone for a while. Her husband looked back at her with a pleading expression, like he was desperate for her to decline. 

"Okay," Reiner widened his eyes in shock, his face mirroring that of a kicked puppy as the doctor gently began to guide him away. Had he been a bad boy? Was Y/n giving him away? "Y/n." He whimpered. However, she responded with a reassuring nod and surrendered to the waiting area.

Constantly turning around to steal glimpses of her, he gulped down scary thoughts and allowed himself to enter the opened door of the room, where it appeared like a child's nursery. The doctor sat on a high chair while Reiner was instructed on a fluffy pink mat.

“So, where shall we begin…”

Next chapter

[mikasaluna]

緑黒髪

⚠ WARNINGS： ! smut ! nsfw !

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. MINORS WILL BE BLOCKED IMMEDIATELY.

「 Keep in mind your triggers and do not engage if it will provoke negative emotions. You are responsible for your own actions. 」

♥️

notes：gender neutral pronouns, AFAB body, dry humping, characters aged up 18+

♥️

A/N：having the translations in there at the end kinda bothers me, but there are often phrases and things in Japanese which can’t really be communicated in English, I can imagine what the characters would say in Japanese a lot easier and it just seems more realistic to me lol

Just a few months after moving next door to Sasuke, a certain ninja had released some kind of poisonous gas in your house, probably to get back at you for kicking their ass. He let you stay over that night, naturally understanding of the trouble which came with this kind of job. 

This wasn’t the first time you were in his house, as you’d been helping him to improve his English ever since you moved to the village. Even though you could understand Japanese fine, there was something familiar and comforting about speaking the language of your homeland. After some heated card games and one too many bottles of sake that night, you had both fallen asleep under the kotatsu together. 

That’s where it all started. You were woken up by heaving breathing, and the crushing weight of Sasuke laying on top of you. He was still asleep, humping into your clothed cunt fervently. It must’ve been an undeniably good dream, so you almost felt bad in having to disturb him, but then again you really could not breath at that point. Was is because of the insanely sexy thing happening to you, or the fact that Sasuke’s entire body weight was pressed against you? You couldn’t tell.

“Sasuke, you’re crushing me.”

No reply.

“Sasuke, seriously I’m going to die.”

Silence. 

“SA-SU-KE!” His eyes flew opened, flickering wildly around the room for a moment before noticing the awkward position you two were in, his erection still pressed firmly against your heat. 

“I- I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to-” Blood rushed to Sasuke’s face as he shifted his weight onto his hands, towering over you. He looked completely mortified. The kind of look you make when you wave back to someone who wasn’t actually waving to you. Before he had a chance to move away you grabbed his hips, holding them in place and glancing sideways nervously.

“It’s fine now, I couldn’t breathe is all.” Despite all of the confidence you had in your head, your voice still came out breathy and flustered.

“I’m so sorry,” he repeated. “I’ll do anything, I just- how can I make this up to you?” Your heart stopped for a moment, how the hell did you end up in this situation? Not that you were complaining, but your brain was struggling to keep up with this turn of events.

“Okay... don’t stop then.” Now that you’d gone out and said it, a sudden surge of assertiveness flowed through you. Sasuke’s eyes widened, his lips parting in surprise. The way his silky black hair flowed down from his face as he hovered about you made your stomach knot, how could somebody be so perfect?

At that moment, he leant down, taking your lips into a sloppy and desperate kiss before lowering his clothed erection against your panties. Your tongues intertwined, exchanging saliva and swallowing the moans you let out whenever Sasuke’s cock rubbed over your clit.

He was clearly enjoying himself too, his breath becoming shallow as he rutted against you. It was almost embarrasing how something so simple could make you feel so good, better than any sex you’d ever had. Your body was on fire, sensitive to every touch.

“I want you to tell me,” you spoke softly “what kind of dream were you having?” Sasuke’s hips faltered, his breath hitching at your words.

“Well, you were in it...”

“What was I doing?” Suddenly he ground his hips into you particuarly harshly, making you bite your lip to avoid letting out your voice.

“You were... uh, giving me head.” You could feel the embarrasment seeping through his voice, hiding his face in your neck and leaving hickies along your skin.

“Oh? Is that what you want me to do to you, Sasuke?” You whispered into his ear quietly, ravishing the way his body reacted.

“Not yet,” he replied. It was obvious that even if he wanted to, he couldn’t stop now. Neither could you, bucking your hips up and trying to meet to his thrusts. The rough movement of fabric rubbing against your clit, it felt slow and teasing but in the best way possible.

If you weren’t careful, you might become addicted to this, addicted to him. Your panties were already soaked through, leaving a wet patch on the front of Sasuke’s boxers as he humped into you. 

A hot tingling sensation began to progress, from deep in your stomach further and further down, about to explode. Sasuke kissed you just barely, panting against your mouth.

SLAM

You turned in shock, standing in the doorway behind you was... Naruto!? His expression looked horrifyed, and you really couldn’t blame him after what he had just walked in on. 

なんで服を着ながらやってるってばよ!? why are you doing it with clothes on!?

(nande fuku wo kinagara yatte ru tte ba yo!?)

うるさいウスラトンカチ、帰れ！shut up you idiot, go home!

(urusai usuratonkachi, kaere!)

[dom--minnie]

hellooo !! can i request number 12 + chan from the smut prompts list? thank u <3

Thank you for requesting~

Content: light inappropriate touching in public, most of this takes place in a bathroom, tastes of dom! chan, slight masturbation, making out, dry humping, cunnilingus (r. rec), orgasm denial

In your very honest defence, this dinner was incredibly boring. A bunch of old men and business jargon that made you question why Chan had invited you or even accepted the invitation at all. Realistically, you did know why though. Chan was too nice for his own good and finds it difficult to say no to a man that he had only worked with a few times. Which led to him asking you because he knew that there was nothing for him there and you just can’t say no to your absolutely adorable boyfriend.

You had pretended to pay attention for about 45 minutes before impatience could replace your boredom. Hands had drifted up thighs and Chan really didn’t stop you, not at first. A seemingly innocent hand on his leg had turned into a not at all innocent hand palming him through his dress pants. Something dirty must have flitted through his mind earlier because he was half-hard in your hand with no effort. 

The moment you gripped him through his pants, Chan was batting your hand away discreetly. Your hand returns back down to his knee but pout at him when he continues to look away from you. When nothing more happens you return to the daydreams that kept you occupied before. Unfortunately, now they contain much more distracting and inappropriate content. Chan taking you home and tying your hands behind your back before using one of your toys on you. Or even Chan taking you to the bathroom not too far away and bending you over the counter to use you there. 

The fantasies continue further and further down into the lewdest parts of your brain until a hand lands on your knee. You stop and look at Chan with your head tilted in a silent question. He looks back at you impassively.

 

“You were squirming so much, angel. Do you need something?” 

Given your past action you thought Chan might have guessed the turn your thoughts took but he looks genuinely concerned for you. You look to make sure that everyone is still embroiled in their own conversations. 

“The only I happen to need right now, is your dick in one of my holes, Channie.”

The typical shyness pops out and Chan’s ears rapidly turn a dark red under the dim lighting. He looks around in a similar manner to you just moments ago.

“Only like 20 more minutes. Then I can take care of you.” 

You pout but Chan barely acknowledges it beside a peck on your cheek before he goes back to lifelessly participating in a nearby conversation. Well, that just won’t do anymore. With the many thoughts of Chan just taking you in the nearby bathroom it isn’t hard to make your face turn red. Leaning back you fan yourself and easily catch the attention of a man to your right. 

“Are you feeling alright?” He asks.

Chan turns back around and looks at you, leaning back and flushed where you weren’t just a minute before. The devilish plan continues to form in your head and you have to hold back a smirk at how this will likely go. 

“Sorry, sir. I’ll be excusing myself for a moment.”

The man seems grateful to let you go and nods without a second thought. Quickly locking the door behind you, you shed the restrictive pants that had seemed like a good idea before. Hopping up on the large counter you start lightly rubbing over the cotton. You’re soaked from the thoughts and close your eyes to imagine what Chan would do if he was in here with you. A few minutes pass by in a flash like that and the expected knock comes.

“Yes?” You call politely, as if you aren’t expecting the person who is obviously there. 

“It’s your loving boyfriend!” 

You hold back a giggle and hide behind the door when you open it, taking Chan’s arm and pulling him in before shutting it behind him so no one can see. When Chan regains himself and takes in your distinctly not-sick state his gaze hardens and you shiver. He takes a few steps and suddenly your back is against the cool tiled wall. 

“I thought I told you to wait.” He grits out.

You look at him with the most innocent expression you can muster but he doesn’t seem convinced by it for even a second. Instead, he just raises an eyebrow, clearly expecting a response. 

“I was so bored out there. Not my fault you look amazing tonight.” 

One bold step forward and your bodies are finally as close as you had craved. You lay a palm flat against his solid chest and bite your lip. Ignoring any need for words Chan leans forward and catches your mouth in a harsh kiss. It’s messy, all tongue and teeth when he bites your lower lip and his tongue enters your mouth. The setting of this has all faded with your bodies tied together, his hands on your ass and your leg wrapping around his hip. 

Your arousal comes back to front and centre when your groins press together and you grind down him hard, once. 

Chan curses under his breath but does it again, gripping your hips to pull your body even closer. Suddenly, you’re like horny teenagers making out and grinding on each other in a bathroom. One of Chan’s hands moves under your low-cut and low-buttoned top to grab your boob. You hum into his mouth when he pinches and pulls a few times.

The public setting makes you both set a rough and rushed tempo. His hand doesn’t stay for long, instead straying to the edge of your underwear. One finger rubs your clit and then pulls down farther to your soaked hole. At the same time your hands twine into his hair and tug as you’re finally getting the bare contact you had desired for so long. 

Before you can even blink Chan is dropping to his knees and you obediently step out of your underwear without even thinking. The only thing that brings you back to reality is Chan’s eager mouth on your pussy. Your hands are still fisted in his hair and you hold him close as he eats you out like the full meal he had eaten before didn’t exist.

Your previous horniness combined with Chan’s skilled mouth has you coming close to edge rather quickly. Chan looks up when your hips start moving on his face of their own accord. It’s still a bit embarrassing how needy you get but the glint in Chan’s wide eyes always tells you he enjoys it. 

One of your hands has to come up and slap over your mouth when a loud moan nearly rips out of your mouth. One that you’re sure would have been heard far beyond just outside the bathroom door.

An equally loud whine follows seconds later when the buildup inside of you reaches near the peak that you’re so desperately needing to come crashing down on you. And then a new, desperate sound comes out because Chan pulls away the moment he hears you again.

He looks wrecked but that’s only because you can’t see yourself. Hair mussed and standing in odd ways from your frantic hands and lips shiny from the kisses and your wetness, and he’s also gasping from the eagerness on both ends. It makes you want to wreck him just a bit but moreso you want to know. 

“Because,” he says, standing. “I’m going to fucking ruin you. But I have plans that require more than a bathroom wall to do it.”

“Why?” You gasp out.

[phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess]

Hey guys, 

This is the local dog rescue charity that we were carers for, for several years. May do it again in future, but after Debbie (who was rescued by Precious Paws), it feels like we need a break. 

We have had three foster fails, but two puppers came through our home, learned to feel safe and loved, and went on to a perfectly matched new family.

There is always a demand for carers, so if you think you can, have a look at their Carer Info. Or look into the FB page, to keep your eyes open.

The best way to find new carers for animals is having a network of people sharing the Urgent statuses, which flags the attention of new groups of people. No dog will ever be LEFT on death row. They look for carers until the last second, but will absofuckinglutely take the dog anyway and put them in a boarding kennel short-term whilst a carer is located.

No doggo left behind.

It can be a bit confronting, though, so I understand if you cannot. The majority of the dogs have been surrendered to the pound, for various reasons, and the rescues in the region put their hands up for the ones slated for being put down each week. This list constantly refills, so there is always a need.

Some other dogs, like Debbie, are rescued directly from the disgusting human slime of the world who have caused them pain, injury, or attempted to kill them.

Carers open their homes to as many as they can, but there will always be more needed. A dog can be with you for a few months, to a few years, depending on their needs. 

Little Willow was so scared of everything when we got her, it took 5 months to get her to trust men near her due to where she came from. But after nearly a year, she was ready for adoption and went to a new mother; happy, healthy, and confident. She was fast, smart and a very delightful little doggo. I do miss her, sometimes, but her new mother sent us photos of Willow on her first and second adoption anniversaries. 

And little Gemini’s face, when her new family sent a photo from her first meeting with her human brother, was SO BIG!

It is hard to say goodbye, because they are with you for a long time, and you have to work hard with them, so they are an integral part of your life. But it helps to know that their future family is out there, not yet aware that there’s a dog shaped hole waiting to be filled.

As my parental unit says, “In reality, if they were not with us, they’d be dead. Someone without any heart dropped these animals off to be killed, and because of all these rescues, all these dogs and cats get another chance at life.”

Harvey, who we have now, was 9mths (Willow too) when they came to us. BABIES who just were too energetic or too big, so they had to be sent away. It takes a while to rebuild that trust in them.

Not to mention the absolute FUCKS who take their little old dogs, who have known and loved them their WHOLE LIVES to the pound and walk out with a new puppy (or kitten). FUCKS.  Those little doggos are never forgotten, PPARs and the other rescues make sure they have somewhere to go as well! I know of a 16yo bulldog called rosie, who was snappy when she first came and very depressed, who blossomed with her carers into a happy old girl. She was adopted recently!!!

It is important to be aware that these animals are often traumatised and have behaviours that some can consider ‘naughty’. You have to be understanding. Like traumatised kids, the worst thing you can do is yell or hit or whatever, even if they piss on your favourite rug or chew a beloved pair of shoes.

They may snap and snarl. Might shy away from men, or women, or teenagers. Might cower away, or show subservience constantly. Might hide for a few weeks. Might wet themselves or run to hide if something makes a loud noise or there is a specific trigger. They might rip up the couch twice, or hump your pillows. Try to escape the yard (need strong fences). A trigger? One of our kids was terrified of men, the noise of a powertool, and anyone having the hood of their car open. Would sit, shaking, panting in fear if these things were present. Still a bit much for her, but she knows to go to a human, who will keep her safe. Or sit with her sister doggo, who will protect her.

Willow was scared of men, shouting, and would be immediately wet-herself-afraid and show her belly in subservience. My giant bearded mountain of a sibling would lay on the floor with her, and talk gently, let her come over to sniff him. Eventually, she would lay next to him, and finally he could pat her, and it progressed from there. This took months of consistency and care.

I know of another carer couple who had this tiny little dog who was SO SCARED of everything she spent absolute months hiding under their bed or sofa. Too scared to be touched. They fed her and never made a fuss if she had a little accident indoors. And one day, she popped her head out while the male carer was pretending to be occupied... and licked his arm. That was it, went straight back under the bed. But it was a huge step. She can now be held and cuddled, and loves her little life. But it took the time, understanding and patience of these carers to get her there. It’s important to note that carers dont normally have the whole backstory for each dog, but after a while, you tend to get good at figuring it out based on behaviours. Harvey’s behaviours were extremely frantic for attention, he didn’t know how to sit or be still, he was desperate for attention; his behaviours increased when on a lead (which had to be used for the first few weeks and outside time, as this was a New Household Member time).  It was clear that given his age, when we got him, and his behaviours that he’d been an xmas gift puppy that had gotten WAAAAAAY bigger than anticipated. When he was small he’d been the fuss of what we suspect was at least 2 children. After getting too big, he was put on a leash in the yard, and had no real interaction.

Harvey would go BALLISTIC if given even a glance from a human. He NEEDED attention, and it took months of careful work with him to teach sit, stay, look, settle, back back, etc. He’s still a bit ridiculous, sometimes, but he can sleep on a bed with a human and only half drown them in spit (ugh) lmao. 

So consider if you could be a carer.  Or, if that isn’t realistic for you right now... donate.

-------- 

Donate, if you can.

If you’re in Brisbane, you might see them doing sausage sizzles at Bunnings on the weekends to raise needed funds! 

-------

COVID-19 hit all the rescue charities hard. Their normal fundraising was crippled by the lockdowns, but animals are always in need of new homes and protection.

If you can help out your local shelters, they’d appreciate it!

There’s food and supplies that need to be paid for; PPAWs specifically help out pensioners who take on an animal, by providing the food and toys, collar, bedding, etc. There’s desexing, microchipping and all vaccinations to be paid for. Some animals have extreme medical issues that need to be fixed (such as a dog surrendered with a broken hip, or dogs like Debbie, who were starved almost to death. Who need intensive and long-term things; with Debbie, my family put money forwards for her insulin and eye surgeries, etc. bc we could budget for it. Not everyone can, though.

There’s also little emergencies here and there that they jump in for, to assist.  [E.g early on when the caninculin levels were being sorted, Debbie had a random fit, so I rushed her in and they discovered her BSL had hit 1 - very dangerous. PPAWs got on the phone and said, “Any tests, any medication, any fluids, anything that needs to happen for that little girl, you DO IT” and they stabilised her. PPAWs also helped fund the full-day glucose testing and blood panel the next day and an overnight with the vet, that was pretty expensive. To be clear, it is expected that her starvation and new diabetes was likely to experience highs and lows, so we had bought a glucometer, and had squeezy-top bottles of honey all over the house as an emergency-response kit. When Debbie went funny, we filled her mouth full of honey and transported; which was the protocol, as was taking her medication chart (she’d been waaaay high for BSL that morning so this dip was SCARY). It took another incident before the vet decided to use an interstitial fluid monitor, and the results backed up our concerns that Debbie was having completely random highs/lows and spikes with no real pattern. She had the vet recommended food and no treats outside of the ones she was allowed, and at times suggested by the vet. Except on her last day when the vet said she could absolutely have a wholw happy meal, and little Debbie was DELIGHTED. I have the funniest photo of her with it all in her mouth looking excited but not sure where to go from there, but it still makes me cry to look at it because we lost her just three weeks ago. (We did rip it into little mouthfuls for her, though. Just to clarify.) She was placed on a higher dose, after that, and was completely stable from there. It was the testing that initially identified a flaw, though, and we are forever grateful that PPAWs stepped in on that day.

And the point of my rambling speech... is that shit happens. Especially with these dogs, cats, horses, and all the other animals they rescue.  Emergencies are often the most expensive to cover for charities.

On the upside! Donations also help with a) transporting animals to carers around the region, and b) on the occasion that an animal’s new furever family is interstate, they can be flown to them!

Lots of stuff.

Think about the mess of words, and consider donating - to PPAWs, or find out the name of your local charity and see if they need help!

[thieving-magpiexhunting-tiger]

Mormor, but with Tiger Therapy?

Jim looks around, wondering why he’s being made to do this but nods anyway when asked if he was ready. This was going to be embarrassing, telling how he felt about his therapist and answering questions about their non-existent relationship.

General:

Rate the Ship -   Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? - “Hopefully a long time.” 

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - “I don’t know. How could I know that? He’s nice enough and far from ugly. He has chocolate in his drawers.” Close enough?

How was their first kiss? - “It hasn’t happened yet but I imagine it will be nice and...slow? I don’t know. ...not that I imagine it.” 

Wedding:

Who proposed? - “I think I would.” 

Who is the best man/men? - “For me? Richard. I don’t know about him. I’m sure he has some friends.” 

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - “Would those be needed?” 

Who did the most planning? - “I’m not sure? Me probably. I like having control.” 

Who stressed the most? - “Again I probably would.” 

How fancy was the ceremony? - “Wouldn’t want it to be too fancy but something nice.”  Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - “Those people are dead. Or will be by then so they couldn’t be invited.” 

Sex:

Who is on top? - “That’s a bit private. Probably him. That’s how it normally goes.” 

Who is the one to instigate things? - “I’m not sure? Me?” 

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - “Long enough I would hope. Why is this information needed?” It was really starting to worry him. Are they in trouble or something?

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - “No? He would probably get more.” He knew how it worked. 

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - “Realistic or want to? Realistic? 2. Want? 8.”  No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - “Two men? I don’t know, biologically, probably 0. Definitely no more than two.” 

How many children will they adopt? - “It would count towards that no more than two.” 

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - “I don’t know, that would be a while from now? Me?” 

Who is the stricter parent? - “Probably Sebastian.” 

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - “Both.”

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - “Sebastian. I don’t even remember my own.” 

Who is the more loved parent? - “Both I would hope.” 

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? -  “Neither.” 

Who cried the most at graduation? - “Definitely wouldn’t be me.” Little did he know...

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - “Either would but they should know not to get caught.” 

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - “Sebastian? I wouldn’t mind it though.” 

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - “Sebastian I would guess. Not too sure.” 

Who does the grocery shopping? - “I could but maybe both?”

How often do they bake desserts? - “Often, baking is enjoyable.” 

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - “Either. Food is food.” 

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - “I would do it.” 

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - “Sebastian probably?” 

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - “Couldn’t see either. Though if someone was being distracted either could.” 

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - “I would.” 

Who is really against chores? - “Sebastian seems like he would be.” 

Who cleans up after the pets? - “I would.” 

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - “Sebastian?” 

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - “Me probably.” 

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - “Not me, I’ve looked there.” 

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - “I would like to.” 

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - “Sebastian? I don’t really like dogs.” 

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - “Sebastian? I haven’t before.” 

What are their goals for the relationship? - “To be happy. Both be happy.” 

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - “Sebastian? I don’t sleep much.” 

Who plays the most pranks? - “Probably him again.”

[meat-husband]

Brahms Heelshire - Alphabet Ask Meme

I’m hoping to start doing requests on this blog, so I thought I would start up with the alphabet ask memes as a sort of intro! I figure all the letters get asked eventually, so I’m just doing all of them in one go. There will be one of these posted for each character I’m writing.

I have a page with what and who I write for here.

Both the NSFW and fluff alphabet asks are under the cut!

NSFW Alphabet

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

You better be prepared to pamper this boy afterwards – snacks, cuddles, the works. Brahms isn't going to want to lift a finger, but he definitely expects to be taken care of. Get him tucked into bed or cuddled up on the couch, and expect to be there a while, petting his hair, kissing his mask and holding him. Getting up from this position is going to be the hard part. Brahms is a clingy bastard and he's not gonna let go just because you can't feel your legs or you have to pee. If you're lucky, he'll fall asleep and you can sneak away (and risk him waking up grumpy) otherwise, you're in for the long haul.

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Brahms is a boob man and I will tolerate no dissent on this topic. It doesn't really matter what size, shape, etc. he just wants dem titties. If you ever need to get him out of the walls, a low cut shirt or clingy sweater is a guaranteed way to get it done quickly.

Not really a body part, but Brahms likes being tall – especially if he's got a short S/O. He might not want to be on top all the time, but he wants to be in charge and it's easier to boss people around when you're nearly two goddamn feet taller than them.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

He doesn't have much of a preference for where it ends up, which is a good thing considering he's a bit unpredictable. It's hard to tell what or when he might tip over the edge, this boy is 2 seconds away from nutting at any given moment tbh. If it happens to get on him, though, he'll whine and moan about it until you clean him up, preferably with your mouth.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Brahms is a garbage boi, all of his secrets are dirty ones. Probably the one he'd most want to keep hidden from you, though, is the fates of the nanny’s who arrived before you did. He’d be tempted to threaten you with the knowledge, but ultimately he thinks it’s best you don’t know too much.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

He's probably got a computer in that incel man cave of his, so he’s seen some shit - but that doesn't mean he has any idea what to do with a real person. In fact, any pre-planned ideas of what he might do go flying right out the door once he's got a Real Live Naked Person™ in front of him.

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Whatever you can do to him while he’s relaxing on a comfy pile of pillows.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Just fuckin' desperate lol.

Clingy, grabby, hard porcelain kisses and lots of bratty whining.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Brahms knows how to bathe and take care of himself. But that's what you're here for. Showers/baths are a couples event now, and you always have to sit on the side of the tub with the faucet. He will absolutely refuse to do even the most basic self care unless you're helping or doing it for him, so haircuts, bath time, laundry days, etc., are up to you to enforce. It's rare that these moments turn into sex, he prefers the bonding and cuddles they bring, so even if he gets a little riled up he'll wait until the moment is over.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

BRUH. The rest of your damn life is going to be one long, intimate moment as far as Brahms is concerned. You are never going to have a damn moment to yourself now. Watching TV? Brahms is right next to you, complaining that you're not paying him enough attention. Reading a book? Bedtime stories only in this house. Making dinner? Brahms is following you around the kitchen, whining that he's hungry but getting in the damn way every step you take. It might get annoying and make you long for five seconds where a giant, hairy man-child isn't tugging on your sleeve, but he thinks this shit is the height of romance. Every remaining second of your life is going to be intimate. His day revolves around you and he expects the same in return.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation head canon)

There is not enough time in the day for all the fucking this boy requires, so he'll have to take care of himself occasionally. Most of the time you never even know about it – he retreats to his room in the walls, or watches you silently through a peep hole somewhere – but if he ever feels like he's being neglected (god forbid you need to leave the house for a few hours, he's like a dog that panics and thinks you're leaving forever) you will wake up one morning to find the most treasured things you own covered in cum. He will refuse to apologize no matter how angry you are – clearly if you'd only take better care of him, this wouldn't have happened.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Skipping over the obvious ones, Brahms is really into body worship. Let him lay back on some soft pillows and spend a while undressing him, giving him soft kisses and quiet whispers of praise. Tbh he'd probably nut before you got to the main event. He also loves being teased, so give him all the kisses he wants, but not where he wants.

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

Since you're alone in the house, nowhere is really off-limits or taboo. His favorite is probably inside the walls, though. Dark and enclosed, almost not enough space to fit two people, forcing you to keep incredibly close. He might even be comfortable enough to take off the mask in this situation.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Honestly, it'd be faster to list what doesn't get him going. He's been touch starved for so long that even innocent touches like hugs and goodnight kisses can set him off.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Not a lot of things he would outright say no to. Obviously, though, no threesomes/involving other people. This is a monogamous relationship with no wiggle room.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Get used to blowjobs, cause they're gonna be a big part of sexy times in the future. Really, anything that lets Brahms lay back and get pampered is something he'll like. It would take a lot of convincing and trust to get him to remove the mask in order to reciprocate though, and it may be that he'd never do it. He would want to, and maybe that frustration will encourage him to give in, but he would never risk showing his face to you.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? Etc.)

Brahms relies a lot on instinct, so left to his own devices he's rushed, desperately trying to cum and doing whatever he can to get there. You'll have to slow him down and make him take his time, which he won't always want to do. When that happens, just let him have his way and once he's got what he wants, he'll do his part to take care of you.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He really prefers drawn out, long sessions, but realistically you'll get more quickies just because he's a needy garbage boy who doesn't wanna wait for his rewards.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

There isn't much risk to take with Brahms, in terms of getting caught together. You're alone in a giant house and he's good about staying out of sight whenever someone does come around. Personal safety is another thing entirely. Mood swings are a common thing for Brahms and you have to be careful of any misstep. Something as simple as answering the phone can drive him into a tantrum and it's during these rages that he feels the need to take charge and remind you of who's really in control here.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Normally, it's quick and rough, but if you can manage to keep him focused then he can go until he loses that focus. His max times in a row is probably two - maybe three if he's angry and needs to work off that energy - simply because you gotta make time for the post sex snuggles.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Brahms would absolutely be the type to own a fleshlight, I swear to God. But I can't see him managing to sneak that onto the grocery list, so most likely he does not own anything before you show up. He would totally be into whatever you wanna bring him, though, and I think he'd enjoy something to hide under clothing or for you to wear in public secretly. He'd have a love/hate relationship with chastity devices for sure! Loves the teasing aspect, but will 100% lose his temper the first time he gets a boner and you don't immediately take it off.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

His teasing game is non-existent tbh, it's just gonna end up with him desperately humping your leg. He will try but your willpower is stronger than his, so he'll lose pretty quickly.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He screams at the top of his lungs until he’s out of breath. God forbid you tell him to hush, that’s only going to make him louder, just to annoy you. You would think all those years of hiding away would give him some volume control.

W = Wild Card (Get a random head canon for the character of your choice)

He will never fully believe that you wouldn’t leave if the right opportunity came up. Everything you mention that references your life before him infuriates him and only reinforces this belief. Old photos, souvenirs and mementos are some of the first things he’ll get rid of when you come to stay.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive)

That much fucking can’t be good for you. You tell him his dick will fall off if he keeps it up and he isn’t amused (he still doesn’t know if you were joking or not).

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Most of the time, Brahms won’t fall asleep afterwards, but he will pretend to. Once you’ve cuddled him enough, he’ll close his eyes and keep still, waiting to see what you might do without him watching. Leaving the bed is a big no-no, but if you keep close and drift off yourself, he’ll do the same (after making sure that you’re not faking too).

Fluff Alphabet

A = Attractive (What do they find attractive about the other?)

How trusting you are. You might be the nanny, but he’s still in charge so having someone who won’t fight him and try to get away with breaking the rules is a plus.

B = Baby (Do they want a family? Why/Why not?) If you’re living with Brahms, you’ve already got a baby (it’s him, he’s the baby). He’s not going to want a child of his own, at all. It would be dangerous to even hint at this being a possibility.

C = Cuddle (How do they cuddle?)

You’re gonna have to get used to him hanging off of you like a monkey most of the time. It doesn’t matter if he’s got to lean down, arms around your shoulders, and shuffle along behind you awkwardly as you walk, he’s a touchy boy. It would be easier to give in and lay down with him, but then you’d never get anything done.

D = Dates (What are dates with them like?)

Does hovering ominously over you from the end of your bed while you sleep count? He’s a little torn because he has no idea what exactly a normal date would consist of locked up in the house, but he’s also seen plenty of romantic movies and they seem important to relationships. You eat dinner together, does that count as a date? The people in his movies did that. So as far as he’s concerned, you’ve had quite a few dates and it’s up to you to decide if you want to burst that bubble.

E = Everything (You are my ____ (e.g. my life, my world…))

‘You are mine.’

There’s no compromise with this, Brahms is a lifelong commitment (even if it’s only for your life). This relationship is your full time job now and there’s no room for error, cause he’s just waiting for you to mess it up.

F = Feelings (When did they know they were in love?)

It would take a lot for him to realize he actually likes you beyond being his pretty nanny. He thinks he loves you immediately so it’s going to come as a shock when he figures out he was just super horny lol. Once you’ve both settled into a life together and he sees you doing things to please him because you want him to be happy, rather than because you’re afraid, it will start to shake up how he thinks of you.

G = Gentle (Are they gentle? If so, how?)

Most of the time he’s very gentle, but it’s more out of timidity and nervousness than anything else. He’s not used to contact with other people and he’s unsure of how to go about it. Eventually he’ll get over the nervousness, but unfortunately he’s still got no social skills so prepare for some of the most awkward cuddles you’ve ever had.

H = Hands (How do they like to hold hands?)

All the time. It’s really tiring hearing that little huff every time you pull your hands away to do some task or chore. And it’s not long before one or both of them are occupied by his and you’ve got to tug them away again. He’s really got no concept of personal space.

I = Impression (What was their first impression?)

He was interested right away, like he always is when a new nanny arrives. He followed you in the walls, trying to get a better look without giving himself away. Once he picks up on how pliable you are, willing to follow the rules and not ask questions, he knows you’re going to be staying.

J = Jealousy (Do they get jealous?)

This is probably the most obvious ‘yes’. There are exactly two people allowed inside the house and you’re one of them. Anyone else is horribly unwelcome and it won’t end well. He might allow some temporary visitors once you’ve stayed with him a while (you gotta get WiFi set up ASAP before you go insane) but they’re on thin ice.

K = Kiss (How do they kiss? Who initiated the first kiss?)

Of course, your first kiss has gotta be the goodnight kiss. There’s a creepy man living in the walls, a quick smooch is the worst he could ask from you, and he’s delighted by how quickly you accept the rules of the house. Of course he doesn’t stop at demanding bedtime kisses anymore.

L = Love (Who says ‘I love you’ first?)

Brahms will say it first, a lot, and before he really means it. He mistakes lust and want for love at first and it will take him a long time to realize that they aren’t the same. But love and trust aren’t the same thing, and when he does figure out how much he likes you it’s only going to make him more possessive and overbearing. 

M = Memory (What’s their favourite memory together?)

The first time you invited him in to sleep in your bed. Of course it wasn’t the first time he’d slept there, he would always sneak in or slip past you before you could close the door, and good luck getting him off the bed once he’s in. Eventually you give up trying to keep him out and automatically assume that’s where he’s spending the night when it comes time to tuck him in.

N = Nickel (Do they spoil? Do they buy the person they love everything?)

Technically, he’s super fucking loaded. He could crawl out of those walls and buy you a gold plated yacht. But you’re here to spoil him, not the other way around, and you best believe he expects it too. Not with money, but virtually everything else. He wants your attention, time, love - anything you might have to give and more.

O = Orange (What colour reminds them of their other half?)

Grey, like the skies outside. He sees the way you look at the windows, the look on your face when you go outside and see the stars. But he’s confident that you’ll follow the rules, because he’s made sure you know what will happen if you don’t.

P = Pet names (What pet names do they use?)

He doesn’t mind you giving him pet names, he’ll probably get off on it tbh, but he doesn’t use them for you. He always uses your full first name, no shortening it, and it’s honestly sort of off putting (that’s probably why he does it).

Q = Quaint (What is their favourite non-modern thing?)

He has an old paint by numbers set that he’s had since before the fire. He’s filled in all the pages and used up all the paint, but he keeps them anyways. He’s copied the pictures so often that he can nearly do them without looking at the original.

R = Rainy Day (What do they like to do on a rainy day?)

‘Outdoors’ isn’t really his thing. Rain doesn’t make a difference when you never leave the house anyways, but he’ll appreciate that any plans you may have had in town will be delayed.

S = Sad (How do they cheer themselves/others up?)

He’s naturally a loner and doesn’t want to be around anyone when he’s upset. He’ll keep away for days until finally slinking out when you least expect him. That doesn’t mean he’s not watching you, of course.

T = Talking (What do they like to talk about?)

Brahms isn’t very talkative and most of your conversations are a little one-sided. Most of the time he uses the boy-voice and keeps his sentences short and simple, but if you’ve really upset him then he’ll scream and rage, one of the only times you’ll hear his natural voice.

U = Unencumbered (What helps them relax?)

Once you’ve fallen asleep and he can sneak off to his space in the walls. He wants to be beside you 24/7, but that brings its own stress and he can’t fully relax when every little noise wakes him, afraid you’re sneaking away.

V = Vaunt (What do they like to show off? What are they proud of?)

He’s normally such a brat that when you genuinely praise him for something he’s quick to repeat it. Oh, you liked the sandwich he made you? Guess what you’re eating for breakfast, lunch and dinner for the next two months. He’ll also take things you use everyday and return them like a proud dog bringing in the paper, like he wasn’t the one that hid them in the first place.

W = Wedding (When, how?)

Brahms is pretty firmly not about that life. You’re his nanny before anything else and he’s comfortable the way things are. That doesn’t meant this isn’t a serious relationship, cause he expects the same amount of loyalty and love you’d give a husband, but he isn’t going to break the facade.

X = Xylophone (What’s their song?)

Well, he’s not going to pick just one! Brahms loves music but he also likes variety. He’s got favorites of course, but there hasn’t been a lot of new material and he doesn’t want to get tired of the best ones. Do not attempt to introduce him to modern music though, he will just be offended.

Y = Yes (Do they ever think of getting married/proposing?)

Your relationship is a weird thing. You’re his girlfriend, sort of? But really his nanny. Who’s really his girlfriend. Sometimes hostage. It’s confusing, but marriage is for sure not a part of that equation. Even if it were possible, with him legally dead, it’s not something Brahms would want anyways.

Z = Zebra (If they wanted a pet, what would they get?)

He’s not into animals at all. Besides, you’ve got him to take care of and that should be what you spend your time on.

[tjp5]

Hump Day obstacles

1.22.20 - Written 1.23.20 

There is a quote out there that says Wednesday is the second Monday of the week or something like that. Today, that was kind of true; there were so many things that happened today that would have stopped me from going to the gym. These things would have stopped me from going to the gym as close as three weeks ago. Now, I have something to be dedicated to, see that old me, a program really does make a difference. Honestly, something else that makes a difference is the fact that I don’t want to look like a bitch to the people that read this. From health issues in the family, a family member that I have no interest of talking to, maybe ever again, to finally, just an all around shit workday, old me would have found an easy out to going to the gym yesterday. But thankfully that is no longer the case. Last week I went to see my therapist, so I was behind on getting to the gym, which was no problem. It actually turned out to be a good thing, because once I got there I was easily able to get on a squat rack and get the 3RM done. So this week, I thought it would be much of the same, GUESS WHAT!?!?!? NOT THIS WEEK.  I waited until later to go to the gym in hopes that it would work out again, well, it didn’t. I got to the gym and it was packed, I cannot stand when the gym is packed. It makes me just want to throw elbows and get people out of my way, luckily I have the self control to not do that, but sometimes I wonder if it would be a warranted response… I am only half kidding. So, The workout was a tough one, no more easy workouts to find your max and get you into the routine, part of me thought this might be something that was designed to torture you, but I know better than that. To be honest with you, even if it was, that is all a mentality, you have to have the mental and physical strength to get through tough things, that is something that a younger me wouldn’t have thought about. It used to be very easy to cheat myself, which led to cheating the people I was on a team with, or those people that were supporting me. I intend, and more realistically hope, to never be that way again. What last night showed me, was although my cardio is getting better, its still shit, but I am doing things that I thought I would never do, like actually getting on the row machine regularly, that shit is wild fam, try it out. Something that I decided to do different this week, which isn’t that big of a difference, was write down my workout in a notebook. This way I could keep notes for myself throughout the workout, instead of just mentally. Not to mention it would save time, because I am not locking/unlocking, or switching apps to find out what the next workout would be. That is something that is different now too, I am walking through the gym with a notebook. WHO TF IS THIS PERSON, everything I used to laugh at, that’s who. Its only the beginning of week two, and not only is this workout humbling me, but my new found willingness to look back is humbling me as well. Something that isn’t changed, and I hope I don’t become one of these people, is joining the gyms “transformation program.” Fuck that. I don’t even know why, I am sure that it is wonderful, but I don’t want someone sitting there and telling me directly what I should be doing, like for this day, I needed plenty of flexibility because of how packed the gym was, I am not willing to give that up to listen to a trainer right now. Maybe if I decide to join a crossfit (crossfuck off – letterkenny reference https://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/6hquv5/letterkenny_cold_open_classic_canadian_comedy/ ) it will be different. But as of now, I am quietly having a competition with this people in my own mind. “Fuck y’all, you’ve got no chance,” is a mentality that I seem to have in competition. I love it; I honestly thrive off of competition. I don’t care if its go fish, I probably want to win. Good luck to my future children, (half kidding.) This combined with the packed state of the gym led to me being in a mood that I haven’t felt in a long time, pure angry determination. It was wonderful, and it powered me through the soreness that I was experiencing.

The workout was jumbled. Normally we need to move from the warm-up, right to the heavy lift, unfortunately, the squats were the last thing that I did. I had to break up the row distance into two, because I’m way out of shape, but the second session was longer by 300 meters and it was only about 30 seconds longer, so pacing was something that got better. Probably because I just wanted to be fucking done.  Rev lunges were back, I don’t like them, but they were easier this week, I am working on burpees, but I subbed jump squats, and five other types of work were done before I got to squats. Which was 4 rounds of twelve. The percentage I was using, put me having less weight on one side by 2.5 pounds, but honestly I had to just go up and even the weight, it was driving me insane, subconsciously it was a huge difference. I ended up doing three rounds of eight before my angry motivation kicked in again, and I crushed the last two sets of twelve easily. I also did something I didn’t think I ever would, finding my last set motivation from 7 Rings, man what a song. I love it, no shame.

I ate well yesterday. I finished the left overs first meal. Second meal/snack I had some pretzels, the leftover smash burgers, and a banana. I crushed rotisserie chicken after the workout, I would have had more, but I was running low on time. It worked out well.

For all of the bullshit that went on yesterday, it was a great workout, and for that I am thankful.

Talk at y’all tomorrow.

Cheers.

[tinkeringwithcannabis]

“Consuming Cannabis: OMG I’m Way Too High”

Aj Tinker November 26, 2019

Most of us who have tried cannabis have accidently overdone it and found ourselves trying to handle effects that are way more intense than we expected. This may be due to being an inexperienced user, trying a new strain, trying concentrates for the first time, eating too much of an edible, or an array of other reasons. In some cases, this has made people turn away from cannabis as a treatment option all together. In other cases, it has left some leery of using those specific products again. Then there are those of us who continue to use those products and just decrease the dosage. These are all things that happen after the effects are over, so what can you do during that moment when the world is spinning, you feel like you can’t function, maybe you are paranoid that everyone knows you are high, or you have something important to do and you need to come down? Luckily, there are several routes you can take to fight back against a THC overload, so let’s jump right in and talk about what those options are!

First, it is important to remember that in many cases the idea that people will know you are high is all in your head. The more you ruminate on the idea that “everybody knows” the more anxious you will get, and the more likely everyone will end up knowing. Therefore, it is important that you keep yourself from panicking and keep reminding yourself that you are fine, everything is fine, and you do not have to worry. Now, this is not to say that there are not cases where people will not realize you are high just from looking at you, but in either case, the effects will begin to dissipate within a few hours at the most, and you will be back to feeling as you did before you medicated. All will be right with the world again. When it comes to smoking or vaping cannabis, the timeline is usually about 90 minutes to two hours before the effects really come down and get to the point where they have pretty much worn off. With edibles, tinctures, etc., it can be a little harder because they don’t hit your system for about 90 minutes, so it can take a couple of hours before they fully hit you. The important thing is that you do not lose your cool, and that you just keep reminding yourself that you just have to get past this hump, and you will be just fine, nothing bad is going to happen.

The second thing to keep in mind is knowing where you fall in regard to tolerance. If you are a new user, and have barely used cannabis, or you haven’t used cannabis in a really long time, then your tolerance is going to be really low. In this case, you aren’t going to want to smoke a whole blunt and then try to go about your day, because you won’t really be able to get too far before the product knocks you on your ass. If you are a more experienced user, then you should have a better idea of what your tolerance level is and how much cannabis you can consumer and in what forms before you cross the threshold from functional to lost in the fog. This is not to say that you won’t have times where you accidently consume too much. This can happen when trying a new strain, a new type of product, or even in cases where you may be smoking with a friend and completely lose track of how much you have smoked until it hits you like a brick. It is always important to remember to go low and slow with any new product, however, realistically, this may not always be the case. In my personal experience, this has happened on occasion, but it has also made me more aware of just how potent that product was for the next time that I used it in order to prevent a similar situation.

Third, drink water. Yes… it’s that simple. Hydration always has amazing benefits in helping to cleans the body, but in this case, it also acts as a sort of distraction technique allowing you to focus on drinking and swallowing, while also addressing any signs of dry mouth at the same time. You can also use some sort of juice if you prefer, but water is always the best option. Lemon squeezed into water is also a great option that really helps in these types of situations. Do not go for caffeinated beverages, as they can dehydrate you and make you feel worse, and definitely avoid anything with alcohol, as alcohol can intensify the effects of the THC, therefore increasing your high rather than decreasing it. Eating light snacks is also something that may help, but in my experience, I have found that this depends on how you consumed your cannabis. Now, eating is something that I have heard many people do when they are too high in order to bring down the high. This works in a sense, but it is also dependent on your means of medicating. Sticking to light snacks, like fruits, nuts, and cheeses are good for combating overly intense psychoactive effects from any cannabis product. That being said, heavy snacks and meals can be counterproductive to the goal of diminishing the effects, especially when the cause of the intensified effects comes from taking a tincture on an empty stomach. Eating can make this worse, and after learning this the hard way, I have found that sticking to water, and then using the next method on this list work best for me.

This next one may come as a surprise to many of you, I know it did not only to myself, but to many of those who I passed this along to, but black pepper. Yes, black pepper. I was skeptical, but after I accidently overdid it one day on the tincture, and then made it worse by forgetting that I should not eat anything heavy, doing so, and then ending up even more high than I already was, I was sitting in the café I was sitting in a café with no other option but to give it a go. I figured, worst case scenario, it did nothing and I just had to weather the storm. So I grabbed a few packets of black pepper and began stuffing them in my mouth one at a time. Within 10 minutes I could feel a reduction in my high, which led me to feel confident enough to get up and go outside and do the next thing on my list, which is to use some CBD oil. I always keep CBD on me in multiple forms. CBD helps to bring down the high and balance out the effects of the THC. Between consuming three packets of black pepper and hitting my CBD vape about six times, I found myself to a functional point within 25 minutes, which was great because I was easily at least an hour and a half to two hours away from coming down without those methods.

The last options pertain to relaxation methods, such as distractions, like reading or watching TV, taking a hot shower or bath, taking a nap, or going for a walk. These are excellent options for days when you don’t have somewhere to be, and you are just trying to come down a bit when you are at home. I have tried these in the past and I find that the relaxation I feel when taking a hot shower is phenomenal and really helps to ease me into the effects and transition the experience from anxiety provoking to more enjoyable. When I have used this method, I have then found myself a comfortable spot on the couch or curled up in bed, turned on the TV, and vegged out until I either fall asleep or until the effects completely wear off.

These are just some of the options that you can choose to try in order to decrease your high if you find that you overdid it on your cannabis session, but the top priority should be to keep hydrated and to do something that relaxes you to prevent the anxiety from taking over and making the trip more unpleasant that it already is. If you can get yourself to relax into it, you may find that the effects are not as bad as you thought, and you can ride out the storm with a little more ease than you would have without finding a way to implement your favorite relaxation strategies. Regardless of what you choose, I do highly recommend trying the black pepper and CBD options, as I have had amazing success with these strategies, and have found that they work quickly, along with increasing my water intake. Another great suggestion, which combines the main terpene of the black pepper which decreases the high and the CBD options, is to find a CBD product with Beta-caryophyllene. There are CBD companies who offer products with this terpene in multiple forms. Regardless of which option or options you choose to try, at the end of the day you just need to remember that the effects are only temporary and they will pass within a short time., and now you will have a better idea of how to gauge your tolerance when using that product in the future.

[lonelylibrary]

How to create scientifically realistic creatures!

Hi everybody! I was studying for my biology finals when I suddenly noticed, A LOT of it could be used for writing. Especially science-fiction and fantasy where authors often create new species. I decided to create a post all about it, in the hopes of helping some of you out!

How to get started

“What makes a scpecies scientifically realistic?” When they fit in their environment. This applies to all creatures living in relatively stable environments. If, say a magician, has just created a new species and just puts it in the forest, it might not fit in there. It will either have to adapt itself (through evolution) or it goes extinct. It might even change the environment in some ways! So the environment is the key factor to how a species lives.

So, before you go around creating some species, you first need to think about where they live. I highly advise you to build an environment for them as the first step and then actually create the species. It does not have to be complicated at all, as long as you get some of the basics down.

You might think about so called "abiotic factors". Those are basically environmental factors, that aren't based on life. This includes:

How intense is the light? (Is there a lot of light throughout the day?)

How much water is there?

What is the temperature?

Where is the water? (lakes? in the air? in the ground?)

What does the ground consist of? (stone, sand, soil, etc.?)

Are there seasons/what changes during the seasons? (are there any seasons at all? What are they like?)

And the list goes on. Please keep in mind that you do not need to know any exact numbers or whatever. It's enough if you know a little bit about it (e.g. there is very intense light from sunrise to sunset). You also don't need to have every single one of these factors thought out, in the end it would get too complicated. Now, these factors directly influence how the plants/animals live in this area. I will be talking about more specific things that happen later (only with the animals!). What to do with these informations now? Think about it; Have you ever seen full grown, green trees in the desert? Have you ever seen a flower in winter? This way you can roughly get an image of your plants/animals in your head.

Then there are biotic factors. Those are factors that are based on life. Some examples:

What other species live in the area?

Who hunts who?

Are there plants?

What kind of/how many plants are there?

There are obviously a lot more of those. Especially when it comes to concurrence, it can have an influence on how many individuals of the species there are. Keep in mind that just because a population has a lot of predators, it doesn't mean that there are only a very small amount of their prey living. They might be perfectly adapted to having so many predators.

Based on this knowledge, you can roughly think about how your species behaves, where it lives and so on.

Traits of animals on the earth

So, now that we know the environment of the species, it's time to actually create it! I have decided to list a few traits that species living in certain places on earth show and that are very common.

Animals living in dry places usually have a few special traits that help them survive the dryness and with it most probably also the heat. Living beings very, very rarely live in places hotter than 45°C (113° Fahrenheit). This is because the proteins in their bodies break when it's hotter; and these destructions cannot be reversed. To add: All life depends on these proteins. In order to save as much water as possible, animals living in deserts do not sweat (or only a tiny little bit), have a very concentrated urin and there is barely any water to find in their excrements. If their body temperature normally stays the same (mammals and birds have a constant body temperature), it may be able to have a higher tolerance border without doing any harm (it would kill us humans quickly if the temperature rose only by 10%). This is a thing, so no water has to be used to cool them down. Camels have a lot of fat in their humps. This is both an energy store and a water ressource, as the burning of this fat produces water. Even their nose is designed to save water! There's a rule in biology that animals living in hot places are smaller than their relatives living in cold places (e.g. penguins in the Antarctic and the ones living in Australia). They also have bigger body attachments (ears, tails, etc.) than the ones living in the cold. Some animals simply move to places with more water during dry periods (mostly if the deficiency is due to the seasons). Very few animals (mostly microorganisms) shrink down in size and sort of "sleep" in order to not waste any water. As soon as there's water again, they grow back to their normal size.

Animals living in cold places are more or less the opposite. They are bigger, have very small body attachments. A lot of animals sleep during the winter, some of them can be woken up rather easily (bears) and some of them not. They usually have a thick fur or any other type of protection against the below freezing temperatures. If their body temperature drops below 0°C (32° Fahrenheit) they would die. Some animals take advantage of their bodily fluids freezing; but only those, that have a body temperature that can vary (i.e. reptiles, fish). They let their body "freeze" and just wait until winter is over. A few species specifically create fluids with a lower freezing point.

Animals living underwater often do not breathe through lungs. If they do, they have to breathe over the water surface (but they can keep their breath for quite a long time). Their bodies are in an “auqadynamic” shape, making it easy for them to move through water.

Light is the main source of energy. Plants are only able to produce oxygen and biotic material when there's light around. And that's what every single species needs, in order to survive (as long as it isn't able to produce oxygen). But it plays a much bigger role. It synchronises the rhythms of all animals. When to get up, when to go back to sleep, when birds should start singing, when to release hormones, etc. It tells certain animals when summer's coming/going, so they can move.  It tells them when to search for a partner to make some babies.

Of course, there is a lot more about this and it's far more complicated! This is more or less all that I know, if you don't understand something or just have another question, feel free to ask me. Keep in mind, I am not a specialist and am very sorry if I got something wrong. Now go out there and create your OCs weird pets, beasts or whatever else you want these creatures to be! I recommend sticking by these rules if you create species living on a completely untouched planet, where nature was just able to do it's thing. In a world with intelligent beings, things may vary a bit (talking about genetic engineering, creating artificial environments, etc.). Be creative with what you know!

[trashassassin]

How to Smut 101: Getting Over the Hump (heh) and Just Doing It

Hello friends! This little guide comes to you from someone who has literally been creating original stories in some form or another since before they could hold a pencil. So well over a decade. And yet, I’ve only really delved into the land of smut writing in the past few years. This was a genre that I, and many creators I’m sure, were scared to touch. It was too difficult, too embarrassing, too easy to get wrong.

And yet, I believe I’ve gotten a pretty good handle not only on writing it effectively but also dissolving the embarrassment surrounding the subject, at least in my own mind. Obviously everyone’s methods for writing are different, so this will be less of a guide and more of an outline full of things to help you prepare for your jump into the world of smut for the first (or maybe twentieth after a bunch of scrapped attempts if you’re like me) time.

The first thing that really helped me was changing how I thought about smut.

Sex scenes always had this mystical, untouchable quality to them whenever I thought about writing them. They were set apart from the rest of the story, placed on a sort of pedestal, a pedestal that had my thought processes heading places like “alright, now it’s time for the Sex Scene™”. Sometimes I would just throw random sex scenes into a story because I felt as thought they had to be there. Which brings me to my first real point.

Sex scenes must have a reason to exist!

Unless you’re writing a plot-what-plot situation, a sex scene must be in your story for a reason! This applies more to published novels or longer fics, which is why I’m posting it first as this one in particular won’t apply to many of the people who clicked on this post.

Imagine this a bit differently. What if your story was progressing along normally when, all of a sudden, you threw in a random, pointless scene about your characters stopping to get coffee? Nothing plot-relevant happens; no important characters interactions happen; there are no special items hidden in the coffee shop. Your characters just decided that they needed a pick-me-up and sit around quietly sipping coffee for 1,000 or so words. This would be really boring, right?

Well, an unnecessary sex scene is the same way. I’m not naming any names here, but there is an exceptionally popular series of erotic novels out there that makes this mistake all the time! If you have pointless sex scenes sprinkled into your story every chapter, it’s going to become boring and grating in a hurry.

Sex scenes must be consistent with the tone of the story, happen naturally over the course of the plot, and/or teach us something important about the characters involved in order to have a true place. If these things are not present, I find it’s best to reconsider if it’s really best to have a sex scene during this point in the story or in the story at all.

Sex scenes are just like any other scene!

Going back to the whole stopping for coffee analogy, a sex scene is just another scene in your story. Now you might be thinking to yourself, “well, duh!”, but this realization was actually a big turning point for me.

I realized the main responsibility we have in writing is to take mundane, everyday activities and present them in a new or interesting way. Think of an adventure story. A group of characters going on an adventure to find the Golden Sword of Wisdom is the exciting version of you and your friends driving down to your local Walmart to obtain Golden Magnum Ice Cream Bars.

Or, consider the Harry Potter series. It takes going to school, something every person within its targeted age group is required to do, and turns it into a fresh and, dare I say, magical experience.

Instead of simply providing a blow-by-blow (pun intended), textbook-style retelling of a sexual encounter, it’s important to put your own unique spin on it.

Play with your readers’ senses.

A huge part of what makes any scene great is the ability of the reader to immerse themselves into it. And you as the author can make this much easier for them by describing it to them in as much detail as possible, how everything contained within it looks, feels, smells, and tastes.

And sexual scenes are certainly no exception to this. In fact, I’d say creating an enjoyable sensory experience is of the utmost importance.

Consider things like how does your character’s partner smell? How do their surroundings smell? Are there any candles burning, a window through which fresh, or perhaps not-so-fresh, air is streaming? Have their clothes or sheets just been washed and smell of a particular scent of detergent?

Also consider how things feel. Is your character in a cold or warm place? Perhaps you could describe a feeling of goosebumps rising on the skin or of sweat dripping down their back. How do the sheets feel beneath their fingertips? How does the brick wall feel at their back? What is it like to be pressed up against a window pane?

What sounds are present, besides the obvious ones? Is there music playing? A fan going? Cars outside? Perhaps the sound of footsteps are present as they desperately try to keep quiet in a crowded place.

Also consider your characters’ own personalities, as well as how much experience they have in sexual situations. How do they feel about their partner? Are they excited or apprehensive? Are they overwhelmed with love or simply looking to get their rocks off? All of these are important things to consider when creating a well-rounded scene.

Your scene does not have to be vulgar, but it can be!

You may think that every sex scene must be contain levels of vulgarity reserved for professional porn movies, but this is simply not the case. As I said before, take into account the personality of the characters involved. A shy character would not likely use words like “cock” and “pussy”, where as a more bold or experienced character very well may.

And if you’re not comfortable with using such words in your writing, well, now is the time to step outside of your comfort zone! As long as it is appropriate for the characters involved, of course.

But regardless of boldness or levels of experience, some are simply just not into super vulgar dirty talk. This post by Smut 101 is a perfect example of dirty talk of a more romantic sort for the more hopeless romantic types that may appear in your stories.

Keep things accurate but not necessarily realistic.

You always see people criticizing sex in books and movies for not being realistic enough, for not involving vagina-having characters taking a piss afterward to prevent UTIs, for a lack of condoms, for both characters reaching orgasm at the same time. You know what I say to that? I say that sexual scenes are meant as an escape, as a fantasy, and that such realistic touches would ruin the illusion of the perfect scenario the reader is looking for.

That being said, if everything is sunshine and rainbows all the time, you’ll once again find yourself with a boring scene on your hands. It’s alright to include moments where your characters knock their heads together or say something so ridiculous it makes the other person laugh. Sex can and should be fun and, when the moment calls for it, a bit goofy.

Something that you cannot compromise on, however, is accuracy. If you’re delving into a particular fetish or act you’re not familiar with, it’s best to do your research beforehand, something else that the author of the aforementioned exceptionally popular series of erotic novels seems to have neglected. Watching videos, reading articles, and browsing forums can all be useful in familiarizing yourself with the subject.

Even if you’re a virgin, this does not bar you from writing well-written sex scenes, I assure you! If someone was required to experience something in order to write about it, the vast majority of authors would be up shit creek without a paddle.

As with any genre, it never hurts to familiarize yourself with it before you start writing it. Reading highly praised romance novels and other peoples’ erotic fics is a good place to start if you’re looking for inspiration or guidance.

Don’t be afraid to draw from your own experiences.

If you have had a bit of sexual experience, it’s not a bad idea to draw inspiration from this. Remembering specific sensory experiences you’ve had and applying them to your writing can help enhance the realism of a scene.

It’s also not forbidden to include your own personal fantasies in your stories. Just be careful that all of your erotic stories don’t turn out exactly the same. While we all have our own individual tastes and preferences, it’s good to step outside of that to keep your stories fresh.

Some general tips for you as a writer.

Writing smut is going to feel awkward if you’re not used to it. And even if you are used to it, feelings of embarrassment may still come up on occasion. This is normal. Do not let it dissuade you from pursuing your creative endeavors. Even if the embarrassment over writing lewd scenes never fully goes away, it will get easier with time. I promise.

Whenever I’m writing any kind of scene whether it be exciting, emotional, or, yes, lewd, I always like to select some music to set the tone in my mind. Spotify and YouTube are my go-to sources. If you’re settling down to write a smut scene, find yourself a sexy playlist to get your brain in the zone.

Your mood is important as well. Obviously you don’t have to be dripping with lust to write this sort of scene, but being upset, tired, or ill can definitely put a damper on your ability to get into the proper mindset.

Never try to force writing of any sort if you’re not feeling inspired. As that old saying goes, writing is like a fart: if you have to force it, it’s probably shit. The original quote pertains to relationships, but I think it’s pretty fitting here as well. Should this happen, don’t scrap the project entirely. Simply take a break, play or watch the property involving the character(s) you’re writing about, read some of your favorite authors or fic writers, read some guides like this one. And then come back when you feel suitably inspired.

In conclusion...

As I said before, this is less of a guide and more of an outline. Everyone has different methods for putting out their best content. Perhaps listening to music distracts you or the writing of others sticks in your head and hampers your ability to create original work.

And that’s completely fine.

That being said, I hope that you guys found this useful in instilling you with the confidence you need to finally begin writing smut! There can never be too many smut writers in the world. If there’s something in particular that you’d like advice on, leave a comment and I’ll try to address it as soon as I can. Thanks for reading, everyone! Now, go forth with the faith that you can finally do the thing !!!

[lefayexplores]

Ultimate Ship Meme: Lefay & Mahji

General:

Rate the Ship -   Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? - Until we want to reroll, if that ever happens.

How quickly did they fall in love? - Way too fast but it worked for them.

How was their first kiss? - Amazing, Lefay still daydreams about it. Also see above picture.

Wedding: N/A, Lefay don’t do weddings.

Who proposed? -

Who is the best man/men? -

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? -

Who did the most planning? -

Who stressed the most? -

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? -

Sex:

Who is on top? - Even mix of both of them.

Who is the one to instigate things? - I think Lefay slightly more than Mahji but only slightly.

How healthy is their sex life? Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - Probably average, I didn’t actually think about this until now.

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - Lefay tries her best but she usually ends up with a bit more.

How rough are they in bed? - This really varies...  Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - As many as Lefay can get out of him if she has her way. Realistically probably like 6 tops.

How many children will they adopt? - Zero unless you count Mahji adopting any other kits Lefay has with other men but I don’t really count that.

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - Lefay, she’s dealt with a lot of bodily fluids as a healer and Mahji is a bit squeamish. 

Who is the stricter parent? - Mahji, Lefay will cave and spoil way too easily.

Who stops the kids from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Lefay, though chances are she won’t stop it either.

Who remembers to pack the lunches? - Lefay will insist on making the food for them as much as possible.

Who is the more loved parent? - Equal!

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? - N/A

Who cried the most at graduation their coming of age ceremonies? - Lefay cried the most, though Mahji’s eyes weren’t completely dry either.

Who is more likely to bail the children out of trouble with the law? - Lefay would, by asking Saheena to do it.d

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - Lefay without a doubt, she loves cooking.

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Lefay, she won’t eat meat or any kind of animal flesh at all.

Who does the grocery shopping? - Lefay buys it and Mahji carries it.

How often do they bake desserts? - Way too often.

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - Meat for Mahji, salad for Lefay.

Who is more likely to surprise the others with an anniversary dinner? - I’m not sure aniversaries are on either of their radars but more likely Mahji than Lefay since Lefay doesn’t even really know what an aniversary is in a romantic context.

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - I think this is an equal split.

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidentally while cooking? - Mahji but they both have such good control over flames that this isn’t likely for either of them.w

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - Lefay but Mahji helps out of course. She’s just the one to actually start doing it.

Who is really against chores? - Neither.

Who cleans up after the pets? - Lefay but Mahji helps.

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Neither.

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Lefay unquestionably.

Who found a dollar handful of gil between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Mahji, and it was left there by Lefay.

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - About equal, in part because they bathe together more often than not.

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - They walk together!

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - Never.

What are their goals for the relationship? - So. Many. Babs.

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Mahji, though Lefay’s much more likely to nap.

Who plays the most pranks? - Lefay doesn’t really know what pranks are and would be terrible at them so Mahji.

No one sent me the ask, I just wanted to do it. 

@wmahji-tia-ffxiv

[shenanigumi]

For the ship meme.....OkiSai?

Ah yes, the pairing some people think I hate, since I once pointed out it isn’t canon (and phrased a generalized opinion a little too decisively…). But it can fit into a divergence or AU just fine, so here’s another Modern AU series of headcanons!

General:

Rate the Ship: Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? For quite some time, honestly. They’re both too realistic and/or cynical to state the outlook as ‘forever’, but that really is what it looks like. After all, they’ve always had a natural affinity for one another, and are some of the only individuals who have proven themselves capable of handling one another even at their worst.

How quickly did/will they fall in love? Not very. Or at least, it took a long time for both of them to notice. If you asked them and they took the question seriously, they might even tell you they fell in love at first sight and only noticed it recently. They just interpreted and developed it as friendship at first, and that’s how their bond grew so strong.

How was their first kiss? Souji didn’t know how to actually use words to explain to Saito that he liked him as More Than Just a Friend, so he skipped a few steps and elected to just kiss him. It went really well, given that Saito kissed Souji right back after he got over his shock, and that was the beginning of that.

Wedding:

Who proposed? They both did. At the same time. They hadn’t planned anything fancy, but they ended up having a conversation at the same time. As with all things, they were so evenly matched that neither of them could get the actual question out before the other, but Saito was the first to say yes.

Who are the best man and groomsmen? There’s no best man, since they’d previously agreed to take that position at one another’s weddings (never imagining they’d be getting hitched themselves), but Nagakura, Harada, and Heisuke are groomsmen.

Who are the maid of honor and bridesmaids? Technically not applicable, but Chizuru gets a spot up front, too.

Who did the most planning? Saito for sure.

Who stressed the most? Saito, or at least, he was the one to show it. Souji was so outwardly chill throughout the process that he felt a little guilty for not making more of a big deal out of such a major change.

How fancy was the ceremony? Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? Kazama. But that’s all right; he didn’t want to come anyway. He’ll just be drinking. At home. Alone.

Sex:

Who is on top? They switch off. As a pair of evenly matched individuals, neither of them can stand the idea of being submissive toward the other.

Who is the one to instigate things? Typically Souji, but he also knows Saito’s body language so well that he can sense when Saito wants to escalate a situation and doesn’t know how. But he doesn’t come to his rescue all the time. Sometimes he forces Saito to make the first move.

How healthy is their sex life? Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once or twice a week, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? As long as they want, which usually means not long at all. Sex to them is kind of a perfunctory ritual, and they rarely feel the need to have it full-on. The intermediate steps are pleasurable enough to get them off.

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? Yes. They can get quite aggressive about making sure that’s the case, turning it into something of a contest.

How rough are they in bed? Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? None. Guess why.

How many children will they adopt? Maybe one at most. Souji’s not really cut out for parenthood, and Saito wouldn’t want to divide his attention.

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? Since neither of them wants to volunteer, they divide that task equally.

Who is the stricter parent? Saito for sure.

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? Saito. It’s usually Souji’s fault, which means he’s in for a lecture.

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? Saito. He’s lucky if Souji remembers to eat, let alone make lunches for their progeny.

Who is the more loved parent? Both of them, but for entirely different reasons. Souji is better at relating to children and meeting them wherever they are, developmentally speaking, so his contributions might be a little more acknowledged.

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? Saito. Diligently.

Who cried the most at graduation? Neither of them shed tears, but Saito got more emotional about it.

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? Souji would be more into the idea of pitching in, since Saito would be internally conflicted over his idea of what the law is for, but ultimately Saito would agree to help since Souji’s methods would get the rest of the family in trouble too.

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? Saito. And he flatly refuses to let Souji in the kitchen when he’s busy.

Who is the most picky in their food choice? Souji. No green onions!

Who does the grocery shopping? Either of them can do it, but Saito usually volunteers since a.) he’ll be the one using the ingredients and b.) Souji almost always comes home with a lot of junk food.

How often do they bake desserts? Relatively often, actually, despite the fact that Souji is the only one of the two of them with a sweet tooth. Saito considers it stress relief, since he himself is not invested in the outcome.

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? Saito ensures that their diet is balanced, but does have that not-so-secret weakness for tofu, so there ends up being a lot of that.

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? Souji tries. And fails. And then they head out to eat.

Who is more likely to suggest going out? Souji does if Saito needs a break, since he actually does know he can’t cook.

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidentally while cooking? Absolutely Souji.

Chores:

Who cleans the room? Saito, but he forces Souji to help.

Who is really against chores? Souji doesn’t like them, but only because he doesn’t see why he has to do them. Fortunately, Saito is more than happy to give him a three-hour lecture on why, which is ironically incentive enough.

Who cleans up after the pets? Souji cares for the cats.

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? Souji, but he knows Saito will catch him and get mad (and not even in the fun way), so he doesn’t even try.

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? Saito is more invested in how the house looks, so he is always sure to give the house a once-over and enlist Souji’s help whether he cares or not.

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? Souji. He kept it.

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? Saito. It’s how he relaxes. Souji gets bored too easily to join him for the whole thing, but occasionally they’ll bathe together for the first amount of time.

Who takes the dog out for a walk? Absolutely no dogs allowed in this household, but Souji is more active in playing with the cats. This works perfectly because Souji tires them out, and then they come to Saito to sleep in his lap. (Often when he’s trying to do other things.)

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? Souji is more into that sort of thing than Saito, so they compromise by either going all-out for a select few holidays or decorating a little bit for all of them. It changes per year based on their energy level.

What are their goals for the relationship? Just seeing what happens, really, and going with the flow. So far, so good.

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? Souji, but Saito never lets that happen. There’s no way he’s letting him screw up both their sleep schedules that badly, and there’s work to be done.

Who plays the most pranks? Souji, or at least he tries. Occasionally, he even manages to succeed, much to Saito’s incredulity and dismay (and just a tiny bit of awe/respect). After all, anyone could do it, it’s him.