#this is to address some 'zuko is a worse firebender at the end still and never mastered firebending because azula js more powerful than him'

[johnskleats]

Azula would have lost the Final Agni Kai no matter what. Here's why:

Azula is insecure. That's why she takes cheap shots. She did it with Katara, and she did it with Aang in CoD, AND she did it with Iroh striking him with lightning. One could even argue that her behavior in CoD foreshadows some of what happens in the Agni Kai, where in CoD, Katara fights Azula, and Zuko saves her, whereas in the Final Agni Kai, Zuko fights Azula and saves Katara. It's a little mismatch of dynamics.

Azula cheating (constantly), is a staple of dishonorable behavior, which I think is interesting.

We see her "play with her food" like a cat, with the Dai Lee and other opponents she encounters. She tricks them and manipulates them and there's no threat. Killing Aang with lightning was SUPREMELY stupid on her part, and she wouldn't have done it unless she was cornered. She didn't even stick around to make sure he was dead or have any of them followed-- because she was scared. Zuko NEVER flees in fights out of fear. He doubles down like a lunatic and tries to get himself killed instead. Azula is not willing to risk her life, and that's why she's a worse fighter. The insecurity gets to her head and she psychs herself out

Azula has a lot of fire power (lol), but Zuko has the heart and commitment to see actions through to the end. That's why he would have won, had Azula not cheated.

By the end, they were evenly matched in firepower anyway. They did the Raging Line of Flames Competing Colors thing and met in the middle, and stayed there. That's how animation tells us about their ability.

Azula's seat of power in her firebending is spite and fear. She's not even mad, bro.

Zuko's seat of power, at the end, is light and life and love. One is a powder keg that runs out after you blow it up once, and the other is like an oil fire in a parking lot. There's essentially infinite fuel there.

Zuko would have certainly outlasted her. And did, if you think about it. Because she panicked.

Azula's entire persona is a mask, just as Zuko's bravado and pettiness in the first season was a mask. (Funny, that he can only be himself when he's hidden the scar with the blue spirit mask, therefore freeing himself of the shame and the mark that brands him as a villain)

They show us that Azula's mask is not only slipping, but cracking, crumbling in the mirror scene. That's why it's there: to show the audience that all of her running has finally caught up with her.

This world that Azula created has been a sham from the beginning. Castles in the sky to make up for what she lacks: love.

Which is why she would never win against Zuko if they both reached their full potential, as they did during the comet.

[nothing-more-than-hot-leaf-juice]

What would an Azula redemption arc look like?

First things first: I hear this thing a lot about how “Azula deserved a redemption arc” and while I don't think Azula was irredeemable, that’s not to say that she should have been redeemed nor was she in the right place to be redeemed during the series. Post-series, I think Azula could have gotten better, but I don’t think “redemption arc” is the right phrase for it. 

Second, I hear a lot about how Zuko should have been the one to go on a “life-changing field” trip for her redemption arc and I don’t think it’s that simple, nor do I think Zuko would be the right person to help her become a better person. The fact of the matter is that even though they are siblings, they spent a good part of the series trying to kill each other. Azula shot lightning at Zuko in the first episode of season 2, they both almost killed each other in The Boiling Rock and The Southern Raiders, and Azula tried to kill Katara during their Agni Kai. They are siblings and I do think they care about each other deep down, but the fact of the matter is that their relationship was hostile and damaged. Repeated murder attempts aren’t a thing either of them is going to get over quickly and they aren’t the type of thing that’s going to make it possible for Zuko of all people to be the one to help Azula heal. There’s also the fact that he’s a teenage boy dealing with his own damage from his abuse and just because they had the same abuser doesn’t mean he’s going to be the right person to help her heal. 

An Azula redemption arc would in no way be the same as a Zuko redemption arc, but let’s first examine why his redemption arc worked in the first place: 

I’ve written more about Zuko’s redemption arc and why it works here. But in terms of him making amends, the big reason why his redemption arc worked was because it stemmed from him choosing Iroh over Ozai. It was his recognition that the unconditional love and support Iroh had shown him was right and the cruelty and conditional acceptance Ozai had shown him was wrong. And further, it was his realization that he was right all along in terms of being compassionate and his father was wrong when it came to the war. He recognized that all the war was needless suffering because he had seen the real human cost in season 2. And through that journey, he saw that the people of the Earth Kingdom didn't deserve the destruction the Fire Nation was bringing on them and realized they had been wrong the whole time. And his betrayal of Iroh was the catalyst for his redemption arc because Iroh realized that already and spent season 2 trying to get Zuko to embrace compassion and peace. He spends a lot of time after he joins the gaang wondering “what would Uncle do?” and tries his hardest to do the things that will make his Uncle proud. Even though Iroh showed him unconditional love upon their reunion, Zuko still put the work in to do right by Iroh in order to make up for his betrayal.

“He’s the one who’s been a real father to me.... It was cruel and it was wrong!” 

Another thing that needs to be made clear: Zuko’s redemption arc worked because he spent time making amends with the people he hurt, but not just because he wanted to make amends, but because he genuinely related to and wanted to help them with their struggles. He was able to make amends with Aang, Sokka, and Katara by relating to their dilemmas and doing everything in his power to help them through their own emotional struggles he also struggled with. He helped Aang overcome a fear of firebending because he too struggled with finding a way to see his element beyond destruction and harm. He helped Sokka “regain his honor” by helping him at the Boiling Rock because he knew what it was like to fail at something and have a person he cared about bear the consequences of his actions (Sokka with Hakoda and Zuko with Iroh). And he helped Katara find the person who killed her mother because he understood what it was to have the Fire Nation take away his mother. Zuko understood their pain in these specific cases and leaned his hand not only to show them that he had changed, but because he had changed. It was because he genuinely understood and wanted them to overcome their problems. He wanted Aang to find his inner fire, he wanted Sokka to regain his honor, and he wanted Katara to be able to find closure because those were all things he wanted for himself. His acceptance into the gaang wasn’t ‘do X thing and then that made up for how he hurt them’ or ‘said he had changed and felt bad and that was enough’-- it was the combination of his genuine remorse, his ability to relate to them, and the actions that stemmed from that. 

“You can do it, you’re a talented kid.” 

“You need to regain your honor? Believe me I get it.” 

“I know who killed your mother and I’m going to help you find him.” 

So the main takeaway: Zuko had the capacity to be good all along but needed the right influence and before he made amends with the people he hurt. He needed to heal a little bit himself, confront the fact that he was hurt too, and change on his own before confronting the gaang. 

So for Azula to have a redemption arc, she would need to do the same. She would need to address the people she had hurt and Zuko was one of the people she hurt the most. That’s why Zuko wouldn’t be the person to guide her on the path to redemption. She’s the one that needs to do the work to make amends with him (this isn’t to say that Zuko hadn’t hurt her in fights before, but she was the instigator of most of their fighting). But before she’s able to do that she would need to do some work on herself. 

The thing that’s going to make it difficult for Azula to get ‘redeemed’ is that Zuko had a war to change sides on. There was a tangible conflict for him to help the ‘right’ side with. Post-war Azula doesn’t have that. She doesn’t have a Firelord to help Aang defeat or a war to help end. 

But another thing that’s going to make it hard for her is that her actions were objectively more harmful than Zuko’s were. Zuko spent season 1 trying to capture Aang, but there were multiple instances where he chose to put others before his search: he chose not to leave the Southern Water Tribe alone, when Iroh was captured he chose to save him from the earthbenders rather than go after Aang, and during the Storm he chose to keep his ship safe rather than go after Aang. He never intended to hurt Aang, even though his actions were harmful. The worst things Zuko did were as follows: burning Kyoshi village, capturing Aang in the North Pole, betraying Iroh in Ba Sing Se, and sending the assassin after Aang. But in all these cases, there was either someone else with worse intentions or he did tangible things to make up for them or the actual consequences weren’t that bad in the end. Kyoshi village was fine, Aang escaped his capture, he committed treason for Iroh, and he risked his life to stop Combustion Man. 

So what exactly does Azula need to redeem herself from?

1. Repeatedly trying to kill Zuko 

2. Almost killing Aang in Ba Sing Se 

3. Sending Mai and Ty Lee to prison 

4. Conquering Ba Sing Se/wrecking havoc on the Earth Kingdom in general 

5. Hitting Iroh with fire (The Chase) and sending him to prison 

But again, she doesn’t have the outlet of war to tangibly show that she’s changed sides. And for most of these actions, it’s other people that dealt with the consequences. Katara healed Aang and Zuko after Azula shot them. Zuko helped Iroh after Azula shot him and Iroh busted himself out of prison. Mai and Ty Lee were released without her help. The Order of the White Lotus freed Ba Sing Se. She doesn’t have a clear way to make amends for the damage she caused. 

So she’s not going to be able to make personal amends with the gaang. Mostly because there’s no reason for her to do so. Zuko was able to because they needed a firebending teacher for Aang and their goals were aligned. Azula doesn’t have that. That’s one of those things that’s just not going to happen because neither party has a reason to want to make amends.

I don’t think she’s going to be able to reconcile with Mai and Ty Lee after what she did to them. She was going to hurt the people they cared about and at the first instance of disloyalty, their childhood friend threw them in prison. At the Boiling Rock, Mai betrayed her because she was going to kill Zuko and Ty Lee betrayed her because she was going to hurt Mai. Neither one put Azula in danger, but she still tossed them aside when all they wanted to do was keep the people they loved safe. They move on from her after the series and find new people to surround themselves with. They were entirely justified in deciding to cut Azula out of their lives after how she treated them. 

And in terms of Zuko, again, they spent a good part of the series trying to kill each other and I’ve written about the complexity of their relationship and Azula in general here, here, here, and here. But the point is that they spent most of their lives pitted against each other by Ozai and they have some serious resentment and hostility towards each other. This isn’t their fault, but it’s undeniable and that hostility is something that’s going to make it impossible for Zuko to be the right person to help Azula heal. He shouldn’t have to if we’re being honest because of how outwardly violent she was to him. But more on that later. 

So because of these things, I think Azula’s redemption arc would have to parallel Iroh’s. 

It’s talked about a little bit, but Iroh was at one point militaristic and destructive. When he was kidnapped in season 1, the earthbenders called him a war criminal. In the flashback of Zuko Alone, we saw him laugh about “burning [Ba Sing Se] to the ground”. In between Ozai’s coronation and Zuko’s banishment, Iroh let go of his need for military victory and learned to focus on spirituality and peace. This is when he joins the White Lotus and starts to see the faults in Fire Nation propaganda, especially after he lost his son in the process. But what I think is important to remember about Iroh is that he faced the dragons long before his son died. In The Firebending Masters, Zuko says that Iroh allegedly killed the last dragon “long before [he] was born” and they deemed him worthy anyway, despite the fact that he still went on to use his bending abilities to conquer the Earth Kingdom. This means that the dragons were able to see deep inside of him and that gave him a greater appreciation for firebending not as a weapon, but as an extension of the self. So if Iroh had that chance when he was younger, before he decided to live peacefully and help others, Azula might have that chance too. 

And Azula is a prodigy at firebending, but the reason Zuko and Iroh are better than she is is that they recognize firebending as energy and life. They use it to keep them warm and they incorporate other bending techniques into it. We only see Azula use firebending as a weapon, never as a tool. She considers firebending something she has to conquer rather than something that’s a part of her. And she thinks this way because that’s what she was taught her whole life, but like Zuko, she needs to understand her element beyond its ability for destruction in order to accept that she herself has the capacity to be something more than a destructor. Azula determined her self worth and the worth of others by their strength and abilities. In order for her to move past this mentality, she would need to go to the dragons. 

And this might be the place where Iroh can step in for her. I’ve written about the dynamic of Azula and Iroh’s relationship (or lackthereof) here. But during the series, Iroh’s priority was to protect Zuko and Azula just happened to be one of the people he had to protect Zuko from (see The Avatar State, The Chase, and The Guru.) If Azula were to face the dragons, she might want to kill them in order to prove herself as worthy since that was the mentality of the Fire Nation, but if Iroh were to connect with Azula in any way it would be though firebending. It would be in guiding her to the dragons and showing her the true meaning of the element. 

Second, and again like Zuko, she would need to recognize how she was hurt by her parents. There’s that scene in The Beach where she mentions how she was hurt by how her mother treated her, but doesn’t actually talk about it. It would be beneficial for her to verbalize how her self image was warped by how Ursa viewed her. Azula seems to realize that how Ursa favored Zuko over her wasn’t right, but she doesn’t understand that the way Ozai treated her was wrong either. She relished the praise her father granted her and didn’t recognize how he used her for her abilities and didn’t value her as his daughter. So a big part of her learning to become better would be recognizing that the way Ozai treated her was wrong and that she has value beyond her ability to carry out his orders. Azula needed to have her own “it was cruel and it was wrong” moment now that Ozai’s in prison and she’s not beholden to him. And it would take her time to come to that conclusion, but she could get there eventually. Through all of this, Azula really just needs her mental health addresses over anything else. 

And for her to truly be “redeemed” (for lack of a better word) she would need to do two things: she would need to prove to Zuko that she was remorseful for how she hurt him and she would need to prove to the world that she wasn’t seeking destruction anymore. Let’s parallel to Iroh’s redemption arc again. Iroh changed in small ways by helping those around him, mainly Zuko, but his redemption from his years as a general for the Fire Nation and his actions in that regard came in his freeing of Ba Sing Se in the finale. That was his moment of redemption. Azula, being the conquerer of Ba Sing Se, would need to have a moment where she proves to the world that she’s going to work for the greater good over personal glory or her father’s orders. There would need to be an opportunity for her to use her abilities to save people, most likely from Ozai’s supporters. 

And in order for her to reconcile with Zuko, she would first need to be genuinely remorseful for how she hurt him and would need to recognize how Ozai hurt him. For most of the series she relishes in his suffering and if she’s going to truly be redeemed, she would need to first, be genuinely remorseful for how her brother was hurt and second, take steps to show him how she doesn’t want to hurt him anymore. In the finale, we see just how fractured their relationship is as she shoots him with lightning and Katara heals him. In season 3, Zuko learns to heal by letting go of the family that hurt him and finds a family that’s going to look out for him and protect him. If Azula is going to prove to Zuko that she’s changed, she would need to act as his protector. Maybe from an assassin or something along those lines, but she would need to put all her efforts into showing him how she’s changed, similar to how he risked his life in stopping Combustion Man to prove to the gaang how he changed. 

And it’s very possible that they’ll never have a good relationship, but if what we’re looking for is an ‘Azula redemption arc,’ that’s what needs to happen. And Zuko isn’t required to forgive her or have her in his life. The fact of the matter is that Azula hurt him and the people he cared about repeatedly. And just because they were hurt by the same person doesn’t mean she didn’t hurt him too. They very well may never have a ‘good’ relationship, but that doesn’t mean Azula wouldn’t be able to get better on her own. 

I think if anything, Azula might be able to immerse herself in firebending. That’s something she understands and that she’s good at. But in order for her to find peace within herself, to move past the mentality Ozai and Ursa instilled in her, and to become a better person, she would need to follow a spiritual path. She would need to go the route of Iroh. Azula doesn’t need to be any kind of military leader or fighter. What she needed was to recognize herself as something other than a weapon, because as long as she valued herself for her combat and military abilities, she was going to seek destruction. In order for her to heal, she needs to recognize that her ability as a prodigy doesn’t mean she was meant for power or destruction, but rather it’s a gift. Azula is an incredible bender, but she didn’t appreciate herself or the true meaning of the element. And if she’s going to move beyond ruthlessness and callousness, she needs to learn the beauty in her element. 

In conclusion, an Azula “redemption arc” is easier said than done. Azula’s motivations are sympathetic and it’s obvious that she’s a victim of abuse and manipulation, but she did hurt people in major ways. She hurt people in ways she wasn’t able to make up for and that’s why if she were to become better, she would need to learn to let go of this image of herself as a force for destruction and recognize the beauty of firebending. She might never fully reconcile with Zuko and it’s improbable that she would develop meaningful relationships with Mai and Ty Lee, but the fact of the matter was that Azula was 14 and her actions stemmed from her abuse. Her path to becoming a better person wouldn’t focus on the people she hurt, because they had moved on and cut her from their lives, but rather it would focus on her individual path to growing past the propaganda of her nation and the emotional abuse under her parents. 

Azula’s “redemption arc” would not be rooted in interpersonal relationships, but rather would entirely focus on interpersonal growth. 

[theclockworkmonk]

Not Just an Airbender

This is probably my favorite fic in my "Aang/Katara Missing Moments" series on AO3.

Trying to make Aang's dilemma more sympathetic and make sense of Katara's change of heart.

Kinda-sorta sequel to Intermission

Summary: Days before Sozin's Comet, Katara tries to reassure Aang about the task he now faces, and he tries to explain to her why he feels he can't go through with it.

Words: 2,460

Read on AO3

Read on FF.net

********

Katara peeked her head through the doorway to the balcony again. He hadn't moved since she first checked on him an hour earlier. Still sitting cross-legged in front of the candles, facing out into the moonlit night on Ember Island.

"Is something wrong, Katara?"

His voice made her jump. It wasn't loud, or soft either. He spoke calmly and plainly. She felt foolish, of course he had noticed her, he'd be a pretty poor Avatar if a nervous girl was able to sneak up on him while meditating.

"No, nothing's wrong," Katara said stepping onto the balcony. The breeze coming in off the ocean was warm, but she instinctively shielded herself by crossing her arms anyway, "Sorry if I'm bothering you, Zuko said you needed to figure things out on your own, but I just wanted to check and see how you were doing. Out here. On your own."

Aang kept his eyes closed, "You know that you could never bother me. I'm doing…..well, things are what they are."

Katara didn't know what else to say. Her first instinct, as it always was with Aang, was to comfort and reassure him, to do anything to remove the thing that was causing him an ounce of unhappiness. But this wasn't something either of them could just avoid, this was something that had to be done and was so much bigger than them. Katara knew that she understood Aang better than anyone alive, but she had absolutely no idea how to go about convincing her sweet best friend to be more ruthless. If he were capable of being talked into doing this, then he wouldn't be the boy that she understood so much.

Before she could think of a way to fill the tense silence between them, Aang opened his eyes, turned to look at her and did it for her, "I'm sorry, Katara. For snapping at you earlier. I don't want you to think I don't appreciate how much you're all counting on me."

Katara couldn't believe what she was hearing, "Aang, we do not think that you don't appreciate the situation or realize what kind of pressure we're under. It's quite the opposite, not only are you expected to defeat the most powerful firebender in the world, but you're holding yourself to an additional impossible standard. Aang, I have seen you do so many things that I never thought possible, but at the end of the day, even the Avatar is only human. Defeating him is going to be hard enough without protecting him from yourself."

"It's not an impossible standard, Katara, it's a standard that my people have held themselves to for thousands of years. If I do this, I will lose a part of myself that I will never get back. I won't….I won't be the same person anymore."

Katara sat down beside him and rested a reassuring hand on his shoulder, "Aang, that might be true if you had any choice. But sometimes we don't. I understand that it's terrifying to consider what crossing that line might do to you, that's why I couldn't bring myself to kill the man who took my mother from me. But that was different. That was revenge against a man who was no longer a threat to anyone, it would have just been about me giving into my own hate."

She shifted even closer to him, as if maybe by touching him she could absorb the pain he was feeling, "You're not taking revenge against the Fire Lord, even though you have more reason than anyone in the world to do so. That's how I know doing this won't make you a worse person. You're always going to be the best person I've ever met. As for being a different person….well, I don't think there's any way to avoid that. You're already not the same boy that I pulled out of that iceberg last year. With each new element, I've watched you master new parts of yourself, and grow into the man you were born to be."

Without thinking about it, she playfully nudged him and winked, "You're certainly more bold now than when I first met you, I know that better than anyone."

Aang's calm demeanor cracked slightly as his cheeks turned red, and Katara could feel her own doing the same, partly out of embarrassment and partly with anger at herself. They still hadn't directly addressed Aang's previous "boldness" and she suddenly realized that right now he probably didn't need a reminder of the last time conviction backfired on him, even if it was due to her own lack of it.

Katara quickly tried to not linger and plow ahead with her point, "And maybe that's what it means for you to truly become the Avatar. Maybe that's what we've been coming to this whole time. You started your life as an airbender, but you're not just an airbender, you're the Avatar too. I don't want to be mean, Aang, but...isn't the Avatar supposed to be loyal to the whole world, not just his native nation?"

Katara had been terrified of getting to this point. It needed to be said, they had been dancing around it, but she was sure he would lash out and ask how she could possibly say something so heartless. But when Aang responded, he didn't sound angry, or even frustrated. He sounded…..tired. Tired, scared, and above all, sad. As if he were grieving a lost love.

"I think it might be different when I am my entire native nation."

He stood up, and leaned with both hands on the railing, hanging his head between his arms. Katara could see his hands trembling as he gripped the wood as if for dear life.

"You're right, Katara. I'm not just an airbender. I'm the last airbender. So if I don't hold to my people's beliefs…...then who will? My people's beliefs….they're all I have left of them."

The front he had put on since the moment she stepped outside started to crack as a sob caught in this throat, "All I have left of Gyatso, and Jinju, and Pasang, and Iio, and Tashi, and all my other friends I knew, and every man, woman, and child I didn't."

He didn't even seem to be talking directly to her at this point. He seemed far away from her, his eyes looking out across time one hundred years, "Every pair of fat, old monks playing Pai Sho, every acolyte crashing his first glider, every group of kids playing airball. As long as I stay the best airbender I can be, then maybe...maybe they're not really gone. But if I actually do this…..if I kill the Fire Lord…..then that's the moment when the Air Nation is truly dead."

He looked up at the moon, as if she might hold an answer, and Katara could see the moonlight reflecting in the tears forming in his eyes. "I'm the Avatar. I'm supposed to maintain the balance of the World. How can I claim to do that after I kill off what's left of one of the Four Nations?"

Katara followed him to the railing and they stood shoulder to shoulder, "You know Aang, sometimes I get furious with myself that I keep doing this."

He was momentarily snapped out of his despair by the amazing girl next to him saying something bad about herself, "What? Doing what? What do you have to feel sorry for?"

"I sometimes forget that you've already gone through more heartbreak than anyone can be expected to endure in a lifetime. You're such a warm and kind person that always sees the best in people that some people might mistake you for downright sheltered. But even close to a year out of the iceberg, you're still just trying to piece back together an entire world that you've lost. After we saw the ruins of the Southern Air Temple, after a few days you managed to regain your sunny disposition, I thought you had moved on already. But I quickly learned….you have to "move on" all over again every single day, don't you?"

Aang had to break his eye contact with her and look at his feet, feeling uncomfortably exposed by someone else explaining him to himself so easily.

"Aang, even after you lost everything you had to fight for, you still fight. You fight and struggle every day to bring hope to a world that, until you came along, had none."

She tilted his chin up to get him to look back into her eyes, "And that is the single bravest thing I've ever seen."

"Puh," Aang let out a sarcastic chuckle and shrugged her off, hard as it was to pass up any chance of physical touch with her, "If I were brave, none of this would have happened. I wouldn't have run away, the Fire Nation wouldn't have taken over the world, and I wouldn't be here now choosing whether to be a true Avatar or a true Airbender."

"Aang, it would take a lot more than stopping one monster for you to suddenly not be a true Airbender anymore. You fight for what you believe in harder than anyone I've ever met. The Air Nation way won't just live on in you, it will live on in everyone you've touched. Because that's what you do, Aang. Everywhere you go, you inspire people to be better versions of themselves. To fight for a better world, in any way they can. You inspire me."

She found herself reaching out for his hand and grasping it in both of hers like it was the most precious thing in the world, "I'm not the same person I was a year ago either, you've changed me. If I had never met you, I'd still just be a scared girl hiding my bending at the end of the world."

His eyes softened and he cracked the faintest of smiles that looked both comforted and comforting. She hadn't really solved his problem, he couldn't bring himself to agree with her that the Air Nation way would survive what he now contemplated, but it always made things better to hear Katara say nice things about him, no matter the context.

"That's nonsense and you know it, Katara," said Aang, unharshly and with a slight chuckle, "You were ready to fight even when there was no one around to fight. It was you who inspired the prisoners on that prison ship to rise up. That was the first moment since I saw the ruins of the Southern Temple that I started to truly believe that we might be able to bring back the world that I failed. That was also when I realized that I lo-," he stopped himself, his smile vanished, he slipped his hand out of hers, took a step away and could no longer meet her gaze," when I realized how special you were."

Katara became acutely aware that she was asking him to confront a decision that went against everything central to his very identity, while she couldn't even confront how a boy felt about her, and how she felt about him. There were dozens of times since that night at the theater when she could have told him everything, and despite the fact that it would be literally nothing but positive for everyone involved, she still didn't have the courage to do this simple thing that would make both of them happy. She had been so afraid to open up that door with Aang because that would make the danger so much more real. The idea of losing her best friend terrified her enough, let alone the idea of losing someone she was in love with.

But the more she thought about it, the more she thought Zuko had been right. If, perish the thought, something happened to Aang, her keeping that door closed wouldn't shield her. It would just add the pain of everything left unsaid. And talking with Aang now, she was starting to think that some reassurance about what awaited him once this was all over was just what he needed to get him through what he faced.

She closed the gap between them again and put her hand back on his shoulder, "Aang, I can't give you a reason, but I have faith that you will see this through. And you will do it in the most good way possible, because through everything, you are good. It's as simple as that. And whether that way is by going through with this, or by pulling off yet another miracle to find another way that I can't see, the whole world will know that you did your best."

He still wasn't looking at her, he was back to gazing out into the night air, "Do you really believe that?"

Trying to muster up some courage that she could pass over to him, she closed what little space remained between them, leaned forward, and kissed him on the cheek. The front part of his cheek, not quite on the corner of his mouth, "I know it."

Aang had at the same time about a thousand words and zero words running through his head. This wasn't, technically, a new experience, she had kissed him on the cheek before, but not since….everything happened. All he could do was blurt out the start of new sentences before he could finish them, "What…..But…You…...Do you…"

Katara just smirked, "Like I said, you're not the only one who's grown into a bolder person. We're all just figuring it out as we go along. And I know you will, before this is all over."

She gave his shoulder one last affectionate squeeze before turning around to head back inside, "Now try to get some sleep, you remember how you got the last time you stressed yourself out instead of getting rest."

Aang could still do little more than just blink. After a while, the only thing he could think of was sitting back down in front of the candles and resume meditating. He supposed if Katara had been trying to distract him from facing the Fire Lord, then it definitely worked. He found himself less paralyzed by the upcoming battle, because reconciling his core beliefs with stopping a genocidal monster seemed easy compared to mentally processing that kiss.

After remaining alone on the balcony for some time, he was joined again, this time by someone far less likely to confuse him with romantic affection.

"Hey Momo, I don't suppose you know what I should do."

The lemur's big eyes didn't offer any wisdom, about either puzzle.

"I didn't think so."

[girlandthedarkness]

the avatar I azula x reader part II

what if azula will have a crush on a girl that turns out to be the avatar, what would she do? part one

a/n: this is a second part, thank you for everything, warning a very ooc azula and an evil!zuko, so if you don't like stuff like this don't read it

She won. The reign of the Ozai is over. To give him credit it was a rough fight, but despite her young age, Y/n wasn't worse, striking him without a hesitation, deadly. Y/n moves fast, the war is over, but the fight is not finished yet, she could see some devoted soldier who still keep attacking, but that's in vain. The ones deep red sky is now smoky blue and with a move that Katara taught her she rises the ocean's water to put down the fire who still burn. Y/n let a heavy sigh, she wants to pass out right here, forget about the war and what will happen after this. The girl almost let her body fall down when she remembered: Azula. The last time she saw her she was ready to fight along with Katara against Zuko, taking the flying bison. Y/n close her eyes and make her body to move again, the memories of the goodbye at the bay and her long road to earth kingdom still fresh in Y/n's mind like an open wound.

“She's in one of the village of Kyoshi Island, Y/n thought it's a good idea to hide from the fire nation under the protection of the order that one of her past lives created. She stayed here and tried to learn anything that will improve her bending, studying one by one the many Kyoshi's diaries and thanks spirits, there's a lot of them. Kyoshi was a fascinating avatar, her era was one of the most peaceful, so there's a lot that Y/n can learn from her, also she needs to learn everything about peacemaking.

In one of the days, where she was studying another old scroll she was interrupted. "Avatar Y/n, there are some intruders that we found at the beach, one of them claim to be an airbender." No one except a few Kyoshi's warriors knew that she's the Avatar, one of them was Suki, who's voice was fast and breathless, probably from running to her. "Take me to them."

Turned out it was indeed an airbender and also two people from water tribe, the girl, Katara, was even an waterbender. "Why are you here hiding?" Katara sounds hurt and her teary eyes prove it. "It's not like I have other options; I can't even learn how to bend. The only thing I'm good at is firebending." Y/n came closer to Katara and looking at her she addressed everyone. "Look guys, a year ago I wasn't even a bender and know look at me an firenation avatar, in the times when your own nation wouldn't hesitate to hunt and kill you." It was quiet while everyone perceived the story. "I can teach you airbending" Aang's voice is cheerful and you smile involuntary at him. "And I can teach you everything about waterbender, I don't know much, since, you know..." Katara fall silent, struggling to find the right words. "Since what? I don't know? What happened?" Y/n is panicked, what happened to southern water tribe? "Since they took all waterbenders from us" Sokka finished for her and this time Y/n fall silent, how can she assert herself as a good avatar, when her own nation has brought so much damage and pain? Training and traveling, that's how they spend the following months, hiding from the firenation, who mistakenly thought Aang was the Avatar. But keeping it a secret that she's the avatar was like a rock on Y/n heart, that's why when she found out the prison for earthbenders she decides to reveal herself, saving together with her friends everyone. That's it, it was the first step to bring the peace into the world, Y/n thought. Later alongside the road Y/n meet Toph Beifong, who became her earthbender master.

When Y/n and Azula finally meet, they were on different sides, Azula besides her brother, Zuko, and Y/n beside her friends. Y/n heart was beating so fast when she saw Azula, who changed so much during almost a year, but her hair was still proudly in a top knot and she's dressed in a perfect firenation clothes. Y/n couldn't help but smile, when she saw the face of the girl who hunts her both in nightmares and daydreams, but was only meet with a frown a stone cold face. Studying her, Y/n didn't notice when Zuko attacked her, fortunate she was saved by the earth that was bend as a shield by Toph. Y/n notice the quick mad glance that Azula throw at Zuko, until she attacked them as well, not actually making any harm, Y/n observe. 'Maybe she's not mad, she did say that she cares about you' Y/n though, dodging Azula's fire. It wasn't a long fight, two firebenders against three benders and the Avatar isn't the fairest battle, hopping quickly on Appa Y/n gaze one more time at the breathless Azula, engraving the princess image in her brain.

The next time they meet they were alone, standing on the same bay were almost year ago they split up, this time the weather is peaceful and sunny, with sea breeze. "How are you?" Azula's voice is calm as always, Y/n's voice on other hand is stuck in her throat and she can't speak anything. Azula takes this silent moment to look at the girl next to her, studying very careful every detail, feeling weak for the storm that is caused by Y/n in her heart. The last time they meet, Zuko was mad at her, claiming that she was too soft and that's the reason they lost. After that he didn't took her with him on hunting the Avatar anymore, finding thousands excuses, making Azula very mad. She knows Zuko do that deliberately to mess up her relationship with father, tending to win her and to became the father's favorite child. Azula don't care anymore, her father and family don't care about her, they never were, Azula's own mother hated her and father just use her. Her friends were the one who care about her, but after the story with Y/n being the Avatar she lost them as well. "Azula, I know you're loyal to your father, but he's evil, the firelord caused so much pain and destruction, but we can stop him, together. Please?" Y/n voice interrupts her endless thoughts again, like in old times. " I don't know if I can leave everything behind..." "No one here cares about you more than I do, join us, please." Azula will lie if she'll tell that she wasn't thought about leaving the firenation and join Y/n and her friend, but every time something was holding her back. But right now with the wind that cares softly her hair, she realizes, Azula don't have anything to lose anymore, everything she ever care about is gone and now she has a chance to return at least a piece of herself. "I'll join you Y/n, not avatar Y/n and not your friends, you."

That's how they found out the Ozai's plan about the Sozin Comet, that he wants to use it to destroy the Earth Kingdom. Together they come up with a plan how to defeat the firelord, training and strengthen themselves. Y/n knows that Katara and Azula have some disagreements, but she also knows that they best in their elements, that's why Y/n paired these two together. "Y/n, I don't want to fight alongside with some peasant, I’ll go with you." Y/n notice Katara's angry stare and how she's ready to reply something as well offensive. "You and Katara are the best fighters from our group, you'll go and fight with Zuko and his people and you'll take over the royal palace." Y/n quickly respond trying to avoid a quarrel before the battle. "And I'll became the firelord." Ends for her Azula.

Y/n found her with Katara near the palace stairs, while the waterbender was healing the unmoved body on the ground. That scares Y/n, until she notices Azula stating on other side, having a desperate stare and Y/n is sure, this sight will be tattooed in her brain forever. Y/n runs faster at the girls, fearing to be late, kneeling beside Katara, Y/n see Zuko, with a lighting mark on his chest, which rises slowly. "Is he alright?" Y/n knew that the siblings have a difficult relationship, but she just killed Azula's father, it was enough deaths for her to endure today. "He almost died, but I stabilized him, should be fine." Receiving the answer that she needed, Y/n hurried up to Azula, who sat silently on one of the stairs step. "Did you killed him?" Y/n don't need to ask who's him, she knows. "Yes" Azula slowly nods and stand up, giving Y/n the most bone crashing hugs that she ever received. This surprised Y/n, Azula was never for affection on public, choosing to keep everything private, she's still a princess.

The following weeks was the messed part of Y/n life. It's supposed to be a happy ending, Y/n overcome the firelord, won and end the one hundred war. But still so much destruction and pain that wouldn't heal over a small amount of time. Y/n is at her old house now, deciding to pick some honorable clothes that she left behind trying to save herself. Sitting here, in her old room it's weird now, Y/n grew up, but this walls still holds a part of her old, careless life, Y/n shakes her head as if to escape unpleasant thoughts. Soon enough Azula will be crowned as the new firelord, marking the new era for the firenation and she'll need to figure out a way to improve the world.

The coronation day is today and the spirits may be with them, because they blessed the day with a sunny and warm weather. Y/n takes a quick look at the large window, that revealed a big crowd, divided by clothes colors, she notices as well only one bright yellow spot, Aang, he's the only survivor of the air nomads. Y/n suddenly feels very selfish, she was worried about herself, that's why she decided to stay here, in palace, hiding in the dark halls. Not ones a thought about her friends flied through her mind. Also, Azula asked her to sit next to her, on the outside as the symbol that their nation started the path to the world healing, but Y/n was too afraid to meet the hope that people will put on her. She feels stupid now, she's the avatar and she needs to face the consequences, Y/n hurried herself to the hallway that leads outside, meeting here a certain nervous princess. "Did you changed your mind?" Azula asks with so much hope in her voice, that even if Y/n didn't change her mind prior, she would do it now. "Yes, I figured out that the world need their avatar and I'm willing to give them one." So together they start their walk to the crowd, ready to change the world side by side.

this is very god damn cheesy end, but i didn't wanted to do a sad ending, thank you for all supporting and kind words, I'm so excited to finally finish this, I work a few days, so I hope you enjoyed this!

[elizabethemerald]

The Kyoshi Warriors

Kyoshi Island

Suki frowned as she trained with her fellow Kyoshi warriors. The Avatar had returned to Kyoshi Island. Almost everyone on the island was thrilled, his presence filling the town with color and excitement again. There were however a few who saw the Avatar’s return as a siren that would draw conflict to the island. Suki was dedicated to making sure her warriors were ready when the conflict found them. 

Her mood was not improved by the guests the Avatar had brought with him. The waterbender, Katara, was nice, kind of cute in a not-ready-to-acknowledge-her-traumas sort of way. She wasn’t the problem. Her brother was a pain in the neck, sexist, and an annoyance, but Suki knew how to deal with that type. She hadn’t been leading a group of all female warriors for the past few years for nothing and knew how to deal with a man who couldn’t accept that a woman might be better than him. 

The two firebenders were another story. Zuko and Azula. The banished prince and princess of the Fire Nation. They had both obviously turned traitor and weren’t serving the Fire Nation any more, but that did little to ease Suki’s concerns. They were still firebenders. Fire Nation Royalty. One wrong spark from them could set her whole town ablaze. 

Zuko at least seemed dedicated to avoiding the Kyoshi warriors as much as possible. He spent a lot of time either with the Avatar or exploring the island alone. Suki had a few of her warriors shadowing him to make sure he didn’t get up to trouble, however he seemed mostly interested in finding quiet places to meditate and focus on his breathing. 

Azula however had been tailing Suki in turn. Suki had seen the silent firebender following her around several times throughout the last several days. Each time she had been around her fellow warriors and could feel Azula staring at her. And she was here again while they trained. Watching. A glare on her face was made all the more serious by the scar on her face. 

Finally Suki had had enough of the glaring. She marched over to where Azula was sitting watching the warriors.

“Do you have some kind of problem with us?” Suki demanded. 

Azula’s hands started moving rapidly. Suki recognized it was a form of hand talk that the former princesses used to communicate. She had seen her talking to the others using the signs, however they were completely different then the basic hand symbols the Kyoshi warriors used to communicate tactics. 

“I don’t know what you’re saying!” Suki said, her frustration mounting. 

Suki stepped back as lightning arked around Azula’s hands. The flicking of her signs began to crackle and spark and Suki had to blink spots from her eyes from the brightness. She stepped back again, ready to take a fighting stance. Several of the other warriors had noticed her change in posture and were coming closer. 

“I can try and translate for you!” A voice called drawing the attention of the warriors and freezing Azula in place. 

Katara stepped up from the side. Suki had already noticed her to be something of a peacekeeper in their little group, but she kept her attention on the threat before her. Azula’s eyes widened at the sight of Katara, her whole body stiffened, and her perpetual frown seemed to loosen. 

“Azula, what were you saying?” Katara asked. 

Rather than answer, or repeat her earlier comments Azula stood up and stomped away from them, her hands still moving. 

"I am not a peasant!" Katara shouted after her. 

Suki hid her smile behind her fan. 

"Is she always like this?"

"I don't know, but it seems like it. She always gets mad at me when I try to talk to her. I'm trying to learn her sign language but she never gives me a chance."

"Hmm. If that's all then?" Suki turned to rejoin the rest of the warriors. Not before watching Katara's back as she walked away. Definitely cute. 

* * *

She next saw Azula that night. Suki and the other warriors who were off duty were relaxing near the center of the village. Her legs were currently tangled with the warrior to her left as she ran her fingers through the other girl’s hair. 

A brief flash of light caught her attention in the darkness. She stiffened and was about to sit up, when she saw it was Aang getting dragged over to them by Azula. She was obviously still agitated by whatever had her so upset since she’s been on the island. Small sparks would jump across her skin every few seconds and her hair was in a wild disarray. She shoved Aang down to sit with the warriors and sat next to him. Aang looked at her in slight confusion for a second before turning to face Suki. 

“Apparently Azula would like to ask a few questions. Do you have a moment?” Aang asked. 

“For the Avatar? Always.” Suki sat up a little but made no effort to leave the group. 

Azula looked at her nervously for a moment then turned and addressed Aang. Suki watched her signs, trying to pick out repeated words and guess what Azula was saying from Aang’s responses. 

“Yes I promise not to tell Zuko. Or Sokka. Or… how about I just promise not to tell anyone?”

Suki raised an eyebrow. Secret questions? Aang turned to her after watching Azula sign for a few more moments. 

“Will you promise not to tell anyone about this?” he asked her. 

Suki couldn’t help but glance around at the circle of girls around them. Every Kyoshi warrior was subtly listening in while pretending they were focusing on something else. 

“Well, if it makes this conversation happen faster I will promise not to tell anyone as long as nothing we discuss puts any person on Kyoshi Island at risk.”

Aang faced Azula again who scowled, finally she nodded and started asking questions. These again seemed to be addressed more to Aang then to Suki. 

“No. Yes. I guess men and women both if you want.” Aang’s answers to the questions piqued Suki’s interest further. Before she could puzzle out exactly what Azula was asking Aang turned to face her now. “Do you love your fellow Kyoshi Warriors?”

The question took Suki a little by surprise. 

“Of course I love them? I love everyone in this village and on this island. Don’t you find you fight harder when you are defending those you love?”

Azula looked thoughtful for a moment before she began a rapid series of signs. Small sparks jumped and popped across her fingers as she talked. 

“She doesn’t mean that kind of love.” Aang hesitated. “Azula, that’s kind of a personal question to ask.”

“Do you mean romantic love?” Suki said with a smile. She carefully watched Azula’s face. The slight blush on her face, mostly hidden by her scar. The eyes that twitched to look at the girl practically sitting on Suki’s lap. The tension around Katara. Ah. 

Suki turned to the girl she was sitting entwined with. A single finger on her chin moved the girl’s head to face her. Suki pressed a soft kiss to her lips. She could feel the other girl smile against her lips. She held her in a kiss for a moment, then two, before she leaned back. She smiled warmly at the other girl, staring deep into her eyes. Then she turned to face the two newcomers. 

Aang had a smile all the way up to his ears and Suki could practically see the stars in his eyes. His face was also beet red. Azula was staring, her eyes wide and her mouth flapping like one of the elephant koi. When Suki made eye contact she seemed to realize and reordered her face to her usual expression. She bowed and made as if to rise, but stopped when Suki’s hand shot out quick as a cat-snake to catch her wrist. 

“Has no one ever told you could love girls before?’ Suki said, completely seriously. She held Azula’s eyes for a moment. When she finally blinked Azula resettled on the ground and shook her head silently. 

“Wait. What?” Aang asked, his confusion clear on his face. 

“Aang since you’ve been gone, a lot has changed.” Suki said, keeping her voice soft. “The Fire Nation had banned homosexuality during the end of Sozen’s reign. Punishment ranges from fines or jail time to banishment or public humiliation.”

Now it was Aang’s turn for his jaw to drop. Though his confusion and surprise was mixed with anger. 

“But how can that be? During my time I knew many people who loved men or women or both or neither! Even in the Fire Nation.”

“Like I said. Things change. Sometimes for the worse.” Suki looked at Azula. She seemed stunned by the news. Suki moved her hand to Azula’s leg to get her attention. “You are outside of the Fire Nation’s control. You can love whoever you want. However they identify you are allowed to love them.”

Azula left shortly after Suki said that. She had a thoughtful expression on her face as she wandered into the darkness. Aang stayed to grouse about the changes and how his friend Kuzon had wanted a boyfriend, and on and on. Eventually Suki returned her attention the girl she was sitting with, then divided her attention as another girl came and sat on her lap. 

* * *

Another fireball arched through the night. Suki shouted orders to her Kyoshi Warriors as they worked to repel the Fire Nation incursion. Just like she had feared, word of the Avatar being on Kyoshi Island spread far quicker than she would like. The single Fire Nation vessel seemed to be the only that had heard and decided to investigate, for now. 

Suki charged forward ducking another fire blast before she was within range of the Fire Nation soldiers. The firebenders weren’t used to nonbenders attacking them. They expected to be attacked at range, with earthbending, not a bladed fan at their throat. The rest of her warriors sprinted forward engaging the soldiers wherever they could. They would not allow their home to fall under Fire Nation control. 

As Suki ran around the corner of a house she almost ran straight into Azula. The girl was staring at the roaring flames, terror clear on her face. Suki had been around older warriors enough to recognize the signs of a panic attack. She grabbed Azula and tried to drag her away, but the girl stood like she was rooted to the ground. 

Several soldiers broke from the attack to surround them. Suki couldn’t rush any of the soldiers without leaving Azula exposed, so she stood her ground, ready to make them fear the Kyoshi Warriors. The first drew his fist back, then unleashed a blast of fire at them. Suki could hear Azula’s breath stop at the sight of the flame flying towards her. 

A small wave of water and blast of steam signaled the arrival of Katara. She swung around and lashed out against one of the other soldiers before Aang landed beside her, a cyclone knocking the remaining soldiers flying into the air. He jumped and skipped to the next roof top to extinguish the flames there before releasing another blast of air. Katara turned to Azula and Suki. 

“Azula you need to get out of here!” Katara shouted over the roaring flames. “Suki, what happened? What’s wrong with her?”

“She froze up.” Suki said. 

She spun around Katara’s body to kick a helmeted head. Katara grabbed Azula’s shoulders and after a moment her eyes focused on her. 

“Azula go! Get Appa and Zuko. You can’t be seen. Aang, the Kyoshi Warriors and I will distract the Fire Nation. Go!”

Azula just looked at Katara for another moment before she nodded and ran up the hill towards were Appa was. Suki nodded to Katara and was about to rejoin the fight, when the screeching sound of twisting metal tore through the night. 

Suki smiled as the unagi tore a massive hole in the Fire Nation ship. The remaining soldiers turned to flee to their ship as a soft rain began to fall on the village. Aang had some how convinced the eel that protected Kyoshi Island to extinguish the flames in the village. Suki and her warriors drove the last of the soldiers from the island as Appa came soaring down. 

She watched Azula help Katara board the skybison. Then Aang jumped up to the bridle and they flew past the heavily damaged ship. Aang made sure to slice at the ship as they passed so the Fire Nation would know they were leaving. 

Suki looked around her smoking village. Perhaps Kyoshi Island had fought to remain outside the conflict for too long. 

* * *

The Walls of Ba Sing Se, Some time later

Suki stood and watched as Team Avatar boarded the ferry into Ba Sing Se. They could have flown in on Appa, but decided it would be more appropriate to come in with the rest of the refugees. As she watched something caught her eye. 

Azula kept close to Katara, sat next to her, watched her with a lingering eye. Katara, almost unconsciously, kept her hand on Azula’s arm longer then necessary. She also carefully stood in front of the other girl when the guards tried to inspect her too closely. 

Suki could easily see the growing chemistry between the two girls. Hopefully soon one of them would make the leap. They would be cute together. Really cute. She let a smile slip up her face and left to find her own girlfriends.

[worldsendroleplay]

Friday, January 1st, 2021

Greetings, dear reader. 

Some of you may have noticed my absence, but I have been hard at work. Either way, my comings and goings are none of your business. If you were to make a report of my work this past month, it would be longer than every past one of yours combined. I hope you all enjoy your holiday gifts. They were all chosen with great care and it took great effort to acquire some of them. 

It seems your present to me was enough material for a longer report. I commend you for not being boring in my absence and while I know I should not criticize a gift, it would have been far better if you’d gifted me content for the entire year. Whatever; there’s always my birthday.

Many people have come and gone since we last spoke, too many for me to keep track of, but I regret to inform you that among the people that have left the world was Alastor, the Radio Demon. Where am I supposed to get my entertainment from now that all the world’s resident killers are gone? Unless Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, or James Potter make good on their threats to kill Peter Pettigrew, I suppose that I will have to watch and listen to your silly conversations and arguments instead. 

There were a few Thanksgiving get-togethers, though not as many as for the next big holiday that we will cover. Bucky Barnes invited his sister Rebecca Barnes and her boyfriend, Hugo Granger-Weasley, to spend Thanksgiving with himself, his son Leonard “Leo” Barnes, and his girlfriend Angie Martinelli. They had to explain the holiday to Madge Undersee, who grew up in a world where there was no Thanksgiving and for whom a cornucopia was used for more than just food. 

Christmas has arrived for the inhabitants of Worlds’ End, and many people have celebrated it in their own ways. I’d tell you about my holiday plans, but I doubt you would approve. Merlin and Morgana, on the other hand, hosted a lunch and dinner for their friends and family and spent the next day sleeping it off. Malachai Atherton explained Christmas to his girlfriend Ty Lee, who had never heard of the holiday but received a present from her boyfriend; she gave him one in return despite not knowing of the holiday, as she was aware this time of year was special somehow.

But not everyone has had a happy holiday. Regulus Black discovered that his daughter, Lyra, had joined one of the many happy ghost-like people living in the portal version of his beloved Hogwarts. I must say, that is a terrible idea of a Christmas gift on someone’s part. I do happily encourage murder, but even I must draw the line somewhere. Sirius Black, after being told by his brother that Lyra had left the world, assumed that either Peter Pettigrew or Narcissa Malfoy were involved as they were aligned with a certain Dark Lord back home. Sirius then grew infuriated at the idea of Narcissa being Lyra’s godmother, and things blew up between the two brothers when he accused Regulus of never changing his ways. Pardon my language, but what an asshole. 

For un-holiday-related conversations, look no further than Aviana Pendragon. We have watched her grow up, but it wasn’t that long ago when her younger brother Gaven Pendragon was born. Avi has since felt like her family wants her to be just like her brother, though hopefully a few conversations with her parents and uncle would have made her feel better. If she is reading this, or if anyone needs to hear this—it is always okay to be yourself, whether you are rash and arrogant, quiet and sweet, or just a plain murderer. For example, I know I can be bold and that it can be intimidating to speak with me. I still do not shy away from this. 

Meanwhile, there have been quite a few confessions made since people have only been able to speak the truth, both for the better and for the worse. For example, Marinette Dupain-Cheng and Adrien Agreste had a fight over a certain little secret (that I know and you don’t), but things have been cleared up between the two now and they are still happily in love. Sir Leon learned a little something about his good friend Sir Gwaine, but they did not fight at all and instead laughed it off. Compared to Marinette and Adrien, it was a rather boring conversation, but it was a conversation a long time coming. Then there was a conversation between Mordred and Merlin about a certain destiny and a certain set of fake memories, but that is all in the past. Now it is time to look to the future, and I can’t wait to see what will happen next. Even if the past did bring along enough drama to warrant several stab wounds. 

And where there are confessions, there are also actions. Gorlois has been training the Druid Kara in how to fight and then extended his offer to Callan. After a few days of consideration, she decided to take the former knight up on his offer, and she joined the two in the gym. An anger-prone Druid, a feisty orphan, and a Knight who has renounced his knighthood… What can go wrong? For my sake, I hope several things do.

It has been weeks since his birth, but it is my honor and my duty to announce the arrival of young Micah Aspen Fisher Odair on Finnick Odair’s doorstep. While the victor was talking with his roommate, Rue Gardner, in the kitchen, they heard the soft cries of a baby outside. They brought the young boy inside, and Finnick has been raising him as his son since then. I cannot wait to write his mouthful of a name in future reports.

Finally, let’s move onto the exciting topic of relationships, whether they are familial, romantic, or platonic. Mariah Hunter and Daniel Jackson have been increasingly spending time together, be it watching movies, nursing small cuts on fingers, or preparing for dinners for the two of them to share. For now the two are just friends, but they are a pair to watch for anyone that knows them. 

There is a new relationship in town for anyone who cares to read about it. Lu Ten may have been thinking about his feelings for Reagan Reyes for a while now, but staying silent about them was no longer possible. With the truth now being his only option, Lu Ten had no other choice but to say something, which may have been prompted by her painting of him. Thankfully, she reciprocated his feelings, and the two lovebirds kissed and decided to begin a relationship with each other. Now, let us just hope that their families approve. Since Lu Ten’s current family in the world consists of a single firebending cousin who is never happy, they should be fine. 

On the topic of budding relationships, young Gaven Pendragon extended the hand of friendship to Kara, someone who has in the past tried to kill his father Arthur Pendragon as well as all the knights that he calls uncles. Of course, Gaven doesn’t know about that, and he likes seeing the best in everyone. I will address Gaven now as I did Aviana earlier—if you are reading this, perhaps it may be best to ask your parents about it. Or better yet, send in a question to me! 

Gaven may not be the only tether between the two sides, though. Mordred and Kara, since their (seemingly inevitable) break up, have discussed the possibility of getting back together. As of the writing of this report, nothing has happened yet. 

What is more certain is that Anakin Skywalker and Padmé Amidala have gotten back together. Things had grown complicated between them both since she knew what her secret husband had done and what he would come to do, but they’d never stopped loving each other. It was—is—Padmé’s hope that they can find a way to move past whatever he will do in the future and perhaps stop it from ever happening at all. In a heartfelt moment, she exchanged wedding rings with him after not being able to wear them at home. It’s unlikely that change in course of action will happen, but it’s fun to watch everyone try to stop the inevitable, especially in a world like this where you already know what will happen. 

Something else we already know for sure is that Jet has moved on from only telling lies to only telling the truth, which made Katara feel uncertain now that she knows that the lying buffer is gone. However, she has still chosen to be with him, and has expressed her happiness to Zuko, who is still happily in love with his girlfriend from the Earth Kingdom, Jin. What made the firebender less happy was the constant ice and snow outside, but maybe he’ll cheer up in the future. Hopefully, he got a winter coat for Christmas.

If you are Mercury Black and Emerald Sustrai, it may be a bit hard to be cheery right now. They had to deal with a question of trust once again when Mercury went to wish his Semblance back from the genies of the Genies’ Cave. Back home, this had been stolen by his father to ‘make him stronger’. Emerald insisted on joining him in the caves so that he didn’t get himself killed, and the wish was made. If he had gotten killed, it would have made for such an interesting story. I do love a good death. There was no death, though, leaving us to see what happens in the aftermath of this wish. I hope it’s something exciting. 

For the sake of my future reports, I hope the coming year is full of excitement for you.

That is all for my report this week.

Go on, dear reader, and do not forget to share this with your friends!

Your Editor thanks you.

[loopy777]

Hm. Lately I’ve been feeling conflicted. I would usually say that even if Azula did become good, she would still need to be punished for the horrible things she had done (being in prison is a punishment for sure). But then I would think about how that should be applied to Zuko, Mai, and Ty Lee. Like yeah, they did decided to be good (arguable “good” with Mai & Ty Lee) in the end, but it didn’t really erase the terrible actions that they had done. (1/2)

But I’m attached to these characters. I understood why they did they things they did, why they acted like they did, and how they become who they are. And I don’t want them to be in harms way after knowing about their past, trauma, and issues that they had to worked through. But then I’m being a hypocrite since I wasn’t the same with Azula. And if Azula got punished for her past wrongs, I suppose the others should too? I don’t know... Should they have been punished? (2/2)

This gets into the purpose of punishment in general, which turns out to be a very personal thing.

I, coming from a Catholic Christian background, don’t see any purpose to punishment beyond an attempt (and we’ll touch on this word again later) to correct bad behavior. I used to be a fairly angry little kid (Raphael was my favorite Ninja Turtle for a reason) and I liked to wish misfortune (usually destruction of property, like a car dying) on the people I was mad at. So my mom used to quote me the famous bit from St Paul’s letter to the Romans: “’Vengeance is mine, I will repay,’ says the Lord.” So I was always taught that trying to pay people back for their evil deeds, purely as an act of justice, is cosmically wrong. On the other hand, I was given time-outs when my behavior was bad and also told I did not have to subject myself to the company of bullies, so clearly the lesson isn’t just to let people be bad and not worry about it.

There are people and cultures, though, that demand retaliation. This is just their worldview, and leaving bad things unaddressed would be an active injustice.

Pragmatically speaking, a punishment’s value to society at large is to discourage bad behavior. You do a bad thing, you get an appropriate punishment, and so you decide you don’t want to do the bad thing again in order to avoid future punishments. Ideally, the very threat of punishment is a preventative. Punishments are scaled to the crime to prevent inflation; if every bad act merited the death penalty, then you might as well commit premeditated murder against someone you dislike instead of just calling them a rude name.

However, as I alluded to above, punishments are an attempt to prevent or correct bad behavior, but are not necessarily effective. Rewards are the opposite side of the coin, a system of encouraging good behavior. There’s all kinds of studies on these things, how effective they are, whether and how they can be mixed, the effectiveness of certain types of punishments and rewards, etc. So I’m not going to get into the nitty-gritty of all that here. This is just foundation for answering your question.

So, with my background in mind, I don’t see any reason why Zuko, Mai, and Ty Lee should be punishment because they have already done the following things:

Admitted they were wrong.

Suffered for their bad behavior.

Attempted to redress or mitigate the consequences of their actions.

Changed themselves so that they are now, based on the recognition of the badness of their previous selves, forces for good.

Again, to bring up my Catholicism, this is exactly the process by which forgiveness of Sin is achieved (maybe minus the suffering depending on how old-school or hardcore the Catholicism is, but narratively the suffering usually makes for a better story), so as far as I’m concerned, there’s no need for punishment or hell for Zuko, Mai, and Ty Lee. Some people, though, might not see their experiences and changes as enough; they might want the victims to judge Zuko, Mai, and Ty Lee and pronounce some form of punishment or restitution. Arguably, though, this kind of already happened, with the Kyoshi Warriors accepting Ty Lee and Aang accepting Zuko as his Firebending teacher and Suki accepting Mai as a Pai Sho opponent (hey, they can’t all be dramatized on-screen). But some people might want a formal process.

Azula, on the other hand, is keeping up her bad behavior. Now, “redemption” is another one of those words that can mean different things to different people and cultures. Going by my own definition above, Azula has not admitted that her behavior was wrong- last we saw her, she was still trying to teach Zuko that fear is more powerful than love, and she’s still delighting in petty cruelties. She has suffered, but as I noted, this part is optional and not terribly important, anyway. She has not tried to fix the harm she’s caused other people. And she has certainly not even attempted to change herself to become better- just more effective at living up to her old standards.

So, arguably, Azula thus deserves a punishment as part of her path to Redemption.

However, let’s get back to discussing the effectiveness of punishment. As I noted, Azula has suffered. What punishment is going to be worse than her experiences in the finale, being left behind by her father to stew in her paranoia until she is defeated by her enemies and loses all self-control? Is throwing her in jail going to make her better? Is scarring her going to have more of an impact than what she’s already been through?

(Of course, if she doesn’t change, then jail is certainly appropriate to keep her from harming others, which she keeps actively attempting.)

This now gets into the modern debates about crime and punishment, and that our modern criminal justice system is not particularly effective at rehabilitation. Again, there’s stuff out there to learn from, but I’m going to focus on Azula’s narrative. She can certainly experience a story where she is not actively punished but nevertheless transforms into a better person through experiences that truly teach the rewards of being a good person. Azula might more effectively and believably embrace the power of love through rehabilitative experiences instead of punishments.

But would her story be as rewarding if there’s no transformational suffering? Would we feel her Redemption has been earned?

Like I said, this gets personal. I don’t think there are solid answers, hence why my own focus for telling stories about Azula isn’t “redemption.” I think there’s interesting stories to tell about her coming into mental and emotional balance, and that’s what I focus my narratives and themes on supporting. The end result might be a Redemption Fic, but I reached it through character work rather than judgement and justice. As Gandalf once said, “Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement. For even the very wise cannot see all ends.” This seems to most directly address the idea of capital punishment, but I think it speaks to the inherent lack of ‘justice’ in life. There’s no undoing bad things or crimes, so no true justice can be done. What remains is simply how we ourselves react to it all.

So I don’t know if made my philosophical case, but I at least hope I explained why Azula is currently in a different class than Zuko, Mai, and Ty Lee.

I am, of course, completely ignoring that the AtLA comics consistently portray Zuko as someone who tries to murder his friends whenever he disagrees with him. Because that Zuko totally needs a time-out.

[jeptwin]

Due to the fact that ATLA has regained its popularity now that it’s back on Netflix in the US, I feel something must be addressed:

Hama. Hama is one of the most controversial topics in ATLA, for a number of reasons. There are those that argue that above all else she was a victim, while others argue she was a villain. In truth, both are accurate. Hama was a victim. What the fire nation did to the southern water tribe was literally equivalent to concentration camps, except they didn’t kill their prisoners. Instead, they let them suffer, depriving them of food and water and leaving them in cages to rot*. It would have been easier and more effective to kill them, but the fire nation chose not to. In that sense, Hama has every right to hate the fire nation with all that she has.

*As a side note, the fire nation was not alone in this. Where was the northern water tribe, their sister tribe, when the southern water benders were being taken away?

But going back to the next part: What Hama did to escape is considered one of the most horrifying and inhumane practices of bending and actions of anyone we’ve seen in the series. Either series, in fact, as blood bending was deemed so wrong it was criminalized. An actual form of bending was criminalized because it was considered so inherently wrong. However, she wasn’t wrong to do it then. She wasn’t wrong to escape. She did everything she could to escape and desperate times call for desperate measures. She didn’t even hurt anyone in her escape; she just got out and ran.

But here’s where things get strange. She could have escaped the fire nation. She as strong enough, clearly stealthy enough, and clever enough to get back home, and the fire nation would have never suspected a thing. She could have gone home and rebuilt the southern water tribe. Maybe she would have even been Katara’s master one day. Maybe she would be seen as a hero, and not a villain, in the war effort.

Or, she could have used her cleverness and stealth to pass off her blood bending as an angry moon spirit, destroying the fire nation from the inside out on full moon nights. She would probably still have been seen as a villain still, but also martyred in the war effort because of what she’d done.

But instead, she moved into a fire nation town and made herself a life there, only she would imprison people who lived in the town on full moon nights inside the mountain. But there’s the strange part! She imprisoned them. She kept them alive (somehow), and clearly well fed since they all looked to be physically healthy, if not traumatized, and continued this due to her hatred. But why?

Personally, I have a theory. I think that while it is true that she hated the fire nation with all her heart and had it hardened by her actions, I don’t think she was a truly evil woman at the end of things. I think she still had good in her, just as she did bad. And I think that some part of her couldn’t bear the thought of putting even her worst enemies (literally) through what she’d suffered, hence why they seemed to be treated fairly well. Was she a monster by the end? Probably. But if there’s one thing we’ve learned in the Avatar series, it’s that no one is only one thing.

But here’s where further controversy comes in: Hama’s punishment. What happened to her? What should have happened to her?

I think it’s fairly unanimous that she got put in an even worse situation than before given that she clearly could no longer be held by her former restraints. And I think it’s equally agreeable that no one, no one, should ever have to suffer like that. Even the Red Lotus were treated more humanely. And that’s saying something.

But there are those that argue that team avatar should have taken her, or she should have been released after the war. Sent back home to her tribe. And honestly? I don’t agree there either. Hama being sent home would only create room for more hate. Let’s be real: even by the time of Korra, firebenders still had a bad rep. Lightning Bolt Zolt was the most feared gang leader in Republic City, and Amon chose a firebender as the villain in his story because everyone knew how vicious firebenders could be. But that’s because the next generation after the hundred year war grew up hearing stories of the awful firebenders who ripped through the world on a rampage, wiped out the air nomads, and destroyed the southern water tribe. The difference is, that prejudice faded because Zuko did everything he could to make a difference as Fire Lord, including helping to rebuild the southern water tribe.

I think Hama would have made that a lot more difficult. I think she would be a living reminder of what the fire nation did to the southern water tribe, and I know she would make sure her people knew what they did to her, and never forgot. She would tell the next generation her story. She would teach them to hate. And that would continue on. Because when it comes down to it, Hama was a victim, but she was also a war criminal. What she did was unforgivable, and she sure as hell wouldn’t have stopped hating the fire nation after the war was over. She would have done what she tried to do with Katara: Taught people to fear and hate the fire nation and hurt them like they’d been hurt by them.

Ultimately, I think Hama should have been imprisoned in the earth kingdom. Away from the place that caused her so much pain, but not free to cause more pain herself. Because she wasn’t a monster. She suffered, and grew bitter because of it. And we have a history of that in the real world, and we know the problems it caused. Causes, to this day. But in the earth kingdom, I think she would be treated as she should be, in a place where she couldn’t easily escape.

[fakeikemen]

I know I am very late to the party but— I just absolutely love Zuko's redemption?! And the way it was handled by the narrative?! The fact that he is held accountable for his mistakes. That he is made to learn and grow from those mistakes. And that the guilt he feels because of his wrongdoings is what compels him to go out of his way to make it up to the people he has hurt. And that the narrative makes him make up for his mistakes in a very specific way to each character to address each of their personal grievances. It's just *chef's kiss*.

I have seen so many characters who exhibit shitty (sometimes even abusive) behaviour who are given a background of childhood abuse to justify their unacceptable behaviour. We are just supposed to accept the sad back story as an excuse for the character's actions and lo! Suddenly the narrative paints the character in a positive light, all the other characters forgive him without the said character working towards earning their forgiveness. But the fact that everyone is responsible for their own actions doesn't change.

Zuko is such a beautiful subversion of this trope.

From the beginning, the show portrays Zuko very carefully, showing us that even if he is mean and rude and occasionally does bad things™, his heart is definitely in the right place and that at his core, he is a good person.

And yet no one absolves him of his actions. Not the narrative, not any of the other characters and definitely not Zuko himself.

After his first confrontation with the Gaang in B3 Ep13 "The Western Air Temple", where Zuko fails to make a fair argument for himself, everybody rejects him and turns him away. Disheartened, Zuko leaves without arguing any further.

The one exception to the hostile warding off is Toph; who doesn't have any bad experiences with Zuko or personal grievances against him. Her first introduction to Zuko via Iroh's description of him, paints him in a positive light. Further, he seems to be someone who is like her if she goes by what Iroh says.

Once her lie detection skills let her know that Zuko is being sincere, she pretty much backs off:

So naturally Toph tries to reason with the rest of the Gaang:

Katara: And what was all that crazy stuff about setting Appa free? What a liar!

Toph: Actually, he wasn't lying.

Sokka: [Sarcastically.] Oh, hooray! In a lifetime of evil, at least he didn't add animal cruelty to the list.

Toph: I'm just saying that, considering his messed-up family and how he was raised, he could have turned out a lot worse.

Katara: [Sarcastically.] You're right, Toph! Let's go find him and give him a medal. The "not as much of a jerk as you could have been" award!

Toph: All I know is that while he was talking to us, he was sincere. Maybe you're all just letting your hurt feelings keep you from thinking clearly.

Katara: Easy for you to say! You weren't there when he had us attacked by pirates!

Sokka: Or when he burned down Kyoshi Island!

Aang: Or when he tried to capture me at the Fire Temple!

Once again, the narrative makes sure that "Not as much of a jerk as you could have been" is simply not an excuse for the hurtful actions and choices that have been made.

This conversation also focuses on what each of the character's personal grievances from the war are and how Zuko had triggered them by doing something similar. (In addition to Sokka talking about Zuko attacking the Water Tribe and Katara talking about the necklace incident— although the Pirates and the necklace incidents are actually combined.)

The first thing that Zuko does is, stand up to Combustion Man (even if the whole Combustion Man plot is contrived bullshit, that makes no sense, atleast it is properly used as a step of Zuko making amends with the Gaang).

After which the Gaang is willing to listen to what he has to say, so he says:

Zuko: Listen, I know I didn't explain myself very well yesterday, I've been through a lot in the last few years, and it's been hard. But I'm realizing that I had to go through all those things to learn the truth. I thought I had lost my honor, and that somehow my father could return it to me. But I know now that no one can give you your honor. It's something you earn for yourself, by choosing to do what's right. All I want to do now is play my part in ending this war, and I know my destiny is to help you restore balance to the world. 

He doesn't try to play the "I was having a really hard time and I wasn't really myself so I did some bad things" card. He never does even as the story progresses.

He accepts that his mistakes made him grow and learn in a way that wouldn't have been otherwise possible but he knows that his choices have hurt people nonetheless. And he takes full responsibility for it.

The Gaang accepts him just as the Firebending master that Aang needs. And while it does look like Aang has forgiven him; the rest of the Gaang are sceptical about him and rightfully so.

And then we get a series of episodes where Zuko— a previous representative of the Fire Nation to these kids, helps these kids to deal with the trauma that was caused by the Fire Nation.

To Aang, becoming a firebender is a dreaded duty looming on the horizon in the near future due to his own personal history of trauma with the element. Aang, whose entire race had been wiped out when the Fire Nation had been at its strongest, whose first experience with fire ended with him burning his friend.

Zuko takes Aang on a trip that results in both of them learning the actual meaning of Firebending. That fire isn't just a representative of death and destruction. That it is life and creation too.

Aang returns with his fear of fire absolved, with a new vision of fire as an element and his bond with Zuko cemented into a strong friendship.

Then there's Sokka, who has lost his mother to the violence of the war. And soon after his father left to fight in the war. It is pretty evident that for Sokka, his father's absence plagues him more. His coping mechanism has made him supress memories of Kya to replace them with memories of Katara instead. But his coping mechanism can't do the same for Hakoda because filling the hole that Hakoda left was Sokka's responsibility.

Other than this, Sokka, whose cultural upbringing taught him that his primary duty was to protect the women in his life, feels like a failure for never being able to protect them from the war. While Katara needs no protection after her training under Pakku, he still strives his best to help Katara when she needs it. But he couldn't do the same for Kya, Yue and Suki (because he knew she was imprisoned and was counting on him to free her but there was nothing he could do about it). This issue is far less acknowledged by Sokka himself.

So, Sokka wants to embark on a solo journey to rescue Hakoda from the prison. He doesn't want to take Katara or anybody else along because of the huge risk it entails.

But Zuko willingly decides to go with him. They make it back together with not only Hakoda but Suki as well. This time, Sokka not only manages to bring his father back from the clutches of the war, he also doesn't fail the woman he wants to protect in the hour of her need.

And he was able to successfully do so because Zuko stood by him as his ride-or-die and selflessly helped him. This allowed Sokka to let go of his scepticism and accept Zuko as a trustworthy friend.

[wiseabsol]

WA Reviews “Dominion” by Aurelia le, Chapter 13: A Start

Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6383825/13/Dominion

Summary: For the Fire Nation royal siblings, love has always warred with hate. But neither the outward accomplishment of peace nor Azula’s defeat have brought the respite Zuko expected. Will his sister’s plans answer this, or only destroy them both?

Content Warnings: This story contains discussions and depictions of child abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, and incest. This story also explores the idea that Zuko’s redemption arc (and his unlearning of abuse) is not as complete as the show suggested, and that Azula is not a sociopath (with the story having a lot of sympathy for her). If that doesn’t sound like your cup of tea, I would strongly recommend steering clear of this story and my reviews of it.  

Note: Because these were originally posted as chapter reviews/commentaries, I will often be talking to the author in them (though sometimes I will also snarkily address the characters). While I’ve also tried not to spoil later events in the story in these reviews, I would strongly recommend reading through chapter 28 before reading these, just to be safe.

Now on to chapter 13!

CHAPTER 13: A START

Alright, on to chapter thirteen. Before I begin, since there have been some people in the comments expressing interest in my full reviews, they can be found at: wiseabsol (dot) tumblr (dot) com (slash) tagged (slash) dominion (percent sign) 20by (percent sign) 20aurelia (percent sign) 20le. I might also run the idea of setting up a forum for “Dominion” by Aurelia. That way, you all would have someplace to read my reviews on this website, as well as discuss the story with each other outside of the reviews section.

 On to the review. Zuko has slept past sunrise, which may be an indication of how bad a shape he’s in, since firebenders are supposed to rise with the sun (Azula, note, still rose with the sun while hospitalized). But he managed to sleep the night through without nightmares, which is progress for him. Turns out he’s achieved that by drinking a sedating tea left by Iroh.

 “The old man had even gone do far as to pretend Mai told him, to try to get Zuko to talk. It was the kind of thing Azula would do.”—Iroh and Azula are both cunning, strategic thinkers, which may be part of why she makes Iroh uncomfortable. She probably reminds him of himself when he was younger. If she’d been a boy, it’s possible that he might have tried to take Azula under his wing…but given that she was a girl, and thus had gender roles that she was supposed to conform to (hence him giving her a doll), he didn’t. That and Ozai snapped her up quickly, with Iroh soon afterwards writing her off as Ozai’s “creature.” But I wouldn’t be surprised if we later find out that part of why Iroh considered her so dangerous was because she reminded him of his younger self, rather than Ozai.

 Apparently Zuko blew up at Iroh for the deception, and said some things he shouldn’t have. Old habits die hard.

 “What his uncle couldn’t know was that there was no help for what he did.”—Yeah, sleeping with your sister is not something you can take back.

 Zuko has some manservants in the room with him, who offer him fruit, foot washing, and hot towels, which he doesn’t accept. What even is the point of being royalty if you can’t enjoy some nice things, Zuko? Though you probably don’t think you deserve nice things. As the manservants go about getting him ready, Zuko has this pleasant memory of Mai: “Mai used to put his hair up for him, when she woke at the same time as Zuko. She wasn’t much good with hair, in truth, but that hardly mattered. More often than not, it was just thinly veiled foreplay”—So they were a genuinely sweet couple at one point.

 But then it’s time to go to Squicktown: “But when he tried to recall those mornings now, it was his sister’s slim fingers that raked through his hair, her mouth that he tasted, the warmth of her skin—“—That’s gross, buddy. While we could chalk this up to being a sign of his continued obsession with Azula, it could also be a sign of trauma. Good memories triggering associations that trigger bad memories. If he was wanking off to the memory of Azula, then I’d say it was an obsession thing. As it is, it’s causing him distress, so trauma seems more likely.

 “A memory made all the more painful by having to wonder how much of that Azula did at their father’s command, those years he abused her under the guise of training….”—Sadly, I think Ozai does believe it was training. Though this is also the dude who believes that suffering is instructive.

 “With such dark thoughts as he had for company, he barely noticed the comings and goings of the palace staff anymore.”—Losing your situational awareness is not good, Zuko. Especially when you know there are people who aren’t happy with your reign.

 “Uncle thought it started shortly after Zuko was banished. She would have been eleven.”—Ugh. That is vile. Though I suspect that Ozai was grooming her before then.

 Ozai is dying from his burns. While I’m inclined to say “Good riddance,” if he dies, it means that Zuko will have committed patricide, which will cause a public outcry and earn him more enemies. Also, Azula will never forgive him for it.

 “The man lived to plague him, he knew.”—Ozai is absolutely that spiteful.

 “He remembered asking Iroh if his banishment might have been planned. If his father might have sent him away just to do that to Azula, to remove the last family member she might have turned to for defense, the last witness to his crimes. He remembered the look his uncle gave him then, when he said they may never know.”—I think it’s probable that Ozai was looking for an excuse to get rid of Zuko, just like he did with Mai and Ty Lee. He wanted to isolate Azula, but he also wanted to get Zuko out of the picture so he could make Azula first in line for the throne.

 That being said, I don’t think Ozai believed that Azula would turn to Zuko for help. The siblings were already poisoned against each other back then. I think the look Iroh gave Zuko wasn’t because he knew the answer to the question—it was because he knew that it wouldn’t have mattered whether Zuko was there or not. Ozai would have done this to Azula anyway, and given how careful they were to hide it, I don’t think Zuko would have noticed that something was wrong until the abortion. I doubt that Iroh would have noticed either, since he was so focused on Zuko. While the idea of, “If I was there, I could have done something!” is a comforting one, it’s also naïve on Zuko’s part. He was a child then, too. And given Zuko’s disposition at that age—to confront evil head on, without thinking through the potential consequences—he probably would have ended up in a much worse position than he did in canon. He would have been a security risk to Ozai—a security risk that can’t lie well. No, I think Zuko being there would have resulted in disaster. Iroh, on the other hand, might have been able to figure out a quiet solution. But he wasn’t there, and so the possibility passed.

 Iroh, in any case, left after receiving a letter from Rai, without telling Zuko the contents of said letter. Iroh says this is so Zuko can have plausible deniability, but because Zuko is in bad mental shape, he’s slipping into some paranoia about it—paranoia rather like Azula’s at the end of the series. He’s unkempt, he can’t sleep, he is wracked with self-hatred and guilt (Azula was, too, though her mind expressed it through Ursa’s hallucination). If he starts banishing people, it will probably start rumors that madness runs in the family.

 “He wondered if his uncle began to mistrust him around Azula. If he knew what you did, he would never trust you with her again, he reminded himself.”—Which would be fair of him, Zuko. But Iroh is too convinced of your goodness to suspect that you would hurt her intentionally. He was ready to handwave away you killing her as an act of self-defense.

 “And Mai would not receive the old general at her parents’ house, sparking rumors she had left the palace to avoid him, rather than her husband.”—I think because Mai knows that Iroh will side with Zuko in a conflict, and that’s not something that she wants to deal with right now. I do not blame her.

 Zuko continues to contemplate Iroh’s visit, sliding into self-pity as he thinks of how tired Iroh must be getting of him: “[Iroh] was probably just as relieved to go as Zuko was to see him away….”

 “‘It isn’t fair,’ [ . . . ] That one mistake with Azula should poison the only healthy, loving relationship he had with any blood relative. It wasn’t fair.”—Zuko thinks this, but he’s the one who is pushing Iroh away. I think he could have told Iroh a portion of the truth—that he and Azula argued, that he got angry and intentionally hurt her, and that he feels horrible about it now. I think that would shake Iroh’s faith in Zuko, but I think he would still be supportive, and would understand, finally, that Zuko still has lingering behavioral problems from Ozai’s abuse that need to be worked through. It might have opened up some routes to healing faster…though I daresay that Mai wouldn’t have been pleased with Zuko giving his uncle a sanitized version of the truth.

 Zuko’s chamberlain comes in, with a list of what sounds like some very important meetings that Zuko should go to, but Zuko has other plans for his day. He’ll still keep the meeting with the “Advisory Board for the Reformation of Asylums,” which Zuko created sometime in the last few weeks. For now, though, Zuko is going to see Mai and Lu Ten.

 We transition to Iroh meeting with Rai. Apparently, Iroh recruited her after her banishment from the Fire Nation. Rai catches Iroh up on how her time with Azula went, but feels that she could have done more for Azula. Iroh interrupts her by placing a hand on her knee—weird choice there, Iroh—and says that it was for the best that she didn’t reveal that she knew who Azula was, because, “‘She might even have killed you.’”

 Rai, though, has more faith in Azula than Iroh does: “‘No.’ The cook shook her head, surprising Iroh. ‘She makes threats when she’s under duress. And she certainly knows how to sell them [ . . . ] But she never struck me as particularly bloodthirsty, either then or now. She would avoid unnecessary violence, if only to keep a low profile.’”—Thank you, Rai!

 Rai, bless her, also dismisses Iroh’s question of whether the wounds could have been self-inflicted. I see why he would ask this, given the self-harm Azula committed in the asylum, but it does make it clear that he hasn’t seen her any time recently, after she started getting better. He then wonders if maybe the asylum had been mistreating her and covered up the signs, since his visits were announced in advance and he only ever saw her from a distance.

 Then he wonders if Zuko was the one who injured Azula—ding, ding, Iroh, you are correct! “It would go a long way toward explaining his obvious guilt, and Zuko had always been given to emotional excesses.”—No kidding. In regards to the burn, he thinks, “He could not see what purpose it had served, except to hurt her…”—CORRECT AGAIN!

 Rai, meanwhile, wonders about Azula being sent to the asylum. She thought that Azula might have been jailed or banished by Zuko instead. This ticks Iroh off: “Her brother showed her compassion,” he insists, but Rai is not convinced, since the workers at the asylum might have hurt Azula. When she expresses that, Iroh responds hotly, “‘He knew naught of this, woman,’” and breathes out flames. I’m not fond of him calling her “woman” here, because when men do that, it’s often meant to be dismissive or demeaning. The show of flames is also not cool of him. Control yourself, Iroh.

 Rai isn’t impressed by him and plans to leave, but Iroh has more questions. He asks what happened to the man who assaulted Azula, and Rai responds: “‘Dead,’ Rai told the woodplank floor, her voice barely breaking a whisper when she crossed white arms under her ample bust.”—Why are you noticing the size of her breasts, Iroh? But also, this does seem hard for Rai to talk about.

 Iroh assumes Azula killed the guy, but Rai corrects him, telling him that she did it herself. “The woman raised her eyes to his, and Iroh was reminded uncannily of his missing sister-in-law.” Oh, I hope that Ursa kills Ozai. I feel like it’s improbable that that will happen, but I want it. Also, the phrase “silk hiding steel” comes to mind here, both for Rai and Ursa.

 Rai discusses her reasons for killing Lee—both to give Azula a measure of protection and for justice—and how her own husband, Shou, abused her. “If she had been abused, of course this cook would look coldly on what she likely viewed as excuses for the abuse of Azula. Her own husband probably made her parrot lines like that, that it was an accident, she did it to herself….”—As much as I obviously empathize with Azula, I should point out that there is, theoretically, some danger in Rai doing the same. If Azula had continued to behave abusively towards others, Rai’s empathy for Azula’s suffering might have made her inclined to excuse Azula’s actions, much like Iroh currently does for Zuko. And if she’s excusing those actions, then she might have been caught off guard and hurt by Azula during their time together.

 That being said, in this case, Rai’s empathy is refreshing, and also lends itself to a more accurate reading of Azula’s character than Iroh has. Iroh, very confused by this point, asks Rai why she would go to such lengths to help his niece. As it turns out, Rai worked in the kitchens at the palace, while her husband was an imperial firebender. She couldn’t accuse him of abuse or get away from him, but when Azula started banishing people, Rai was banished before he was—and so she managed to escape and stay ahead of him all of this time.

 “‘Rai,’ he said quietly, a little concerned for her sanity at this point, ‘you must know she didn’t mean to help you. She banished her servants because she was crazy, not out if any altruistic urge.’”—It rubs me the wrong way that Iroh thinks that Rai might be crazy. There’s a part of me that wants to throw at him, “You only think that because you’ve never known what it’s like to be helpless,” but I know that’s not true. It’s not like Azulon was compassionate to Iroh or cared about his emotional needs, and losing Lu Ten would definitely have made Iroh feel helpless. Still, this grates on me, possibly because Iroh is a very privileged man and hasn’t faced the same hardships as Rai. I feel like Ursa would understand Rai, though. I don’t know if they would get along—somehow, I doubt it, since Rai has faith in Azula and Ursa does not—but I’d love to see a conversation between them someday.

 Much to Iroh’s discomfort, Rai talks about how the palace staff knew that Ozai was mistreating Azula, and hints that there were rumors about the sexual abuse, too: “Those years Prince Zuko was banished, her father kept her so close [ . . . ] She turned up all manner of strange injuries [ . . . ] and even disappeared for a week once. There were some as said he killed her. And those were the least of the rumors. [ . . . ] There was something…wrong there. [ . . . ] Everyone knew it. And no one did anything. [ . . . ] Not even me.”

 When Iroh points out that Ozai was the Fire Lord and there was nothing that she could have done, Rai is not consoled: “‘And she was a piece of work,’ Rai finished bluntly, holding his gaze. ‘I know. She was also a child, with no one to treat her like one. I thought I might be someone to look out for her, even years too late’”—God, it’s so nice to hear someone point out that no matter how cruel Azula was, she was a kid and didn’t deserve what happened to her. It’s so good to see someone want to look out for her and help her. I’ve never thought that Rai could have been an inspiration for Tam, but she’s hitting the same points, even if she’s a very different person. I wish we had more of Rai in this, but I suspect her role in the story is done by the end of this chapter.

 As their conversation winds down, Iroh reassures Rai that she did help Azula and pays her for the information. Rai urges him to help Azula, even if Azula pushes him away. “‘She really seems to hate you,’” Rai says, and I think that’s due to, A.) Ozai turning Azula against Iroh, B.) Iroh’s claim of killing the last dragon, C.) Iroh sending Azula gifts that catered more towards who Ursa wanted her to be, rather than who Azula wanted to be, and D.) Iroh choosing Zuko and telling Zuko to confront Azula and take her crown from her. Iroh says his goal is to help Azula, but he inwardly admits that he’s not sure how.

 We shift back to Zuko, who is just arriving at Mai’s place. Mai’s uncle, the warden from the Boiling Rock, is there, and isn’t happy to see Zuko. He escorts Zuko in, and there is a brief exchange with Mai’s parents, during which her mother seems to imply that Mai’s uncle better not mess things up with the Fire Lord. Once the rest of the family is gone, Tsutomu quickly establishes that if it weren’t for Mai, he’d gut Zuko, because Mai has told him everything.

 I’m not sure this was a wise call on Mai’s part—the more people who know a secret, the harder it is to keep—but I understand why she did it. She knows that her uncle is loyal to her. She knows that he doesn’t like Zuko. It would feel safe to go to him with this. That and he has contacts who could help her.

 “Zuko was glad Mai had him to support her through this. But the warden would have done his utmost to poison her against him”—You did that yourself, Zuko.

 “But then, a man who lays with his sister and tries to kill his father, what would you know about [family]?”—Woof, yeah, Zuko is a walking Greek tragedy. I’m curious about what Hu Xin did to be considered an equivalent.

 “And I’m not sure that’s something I can allow in my niece’s life, regardless of her wishes.”—Fair, but you can’t support Mai if you’re executed for committing treason and regicide, Tsutomu.

 Zuko asks if Mai’s parents know, but Tsutomu dismisses the idea: “‘They still think you fucked that waterbender.’” I am slightly amused by the confusion there, but not amused by the warden calling Katara a “nubile little savage” right afterwards. Gross and racist, Tsutomu.

 “Zuko could only stare at him, sick with the realization that Mai’s parents suspected he cheated on her, even if they didn’t know with whom. And they still treated Zuko better than their daughter.”—More evidence that monarchies and patriarchies are terrible. The warden acknowledges that, saying that Mai’s parents expect this sort of thing from a noble husband, and that they think that Mai should suck it up and make sure her son’s and her family’s futures are secure, rather than let her hurt feelings get in the way. Which the warden thinks is bullshit, and as much as I don’t like him, I agree with him.

 “‘Be the man that she deserves,’” he tells Zuko, and I’m like, “You tell him, Scary Warden.”

 Zuko goes to find Mai, who is still wearing her crown. “She wouldn’t if she meant to desert him, would she?”—Dude, she earned that. I wouldn’t give it up without a fight either. Like, I don’t like monarchies, and I’d set up a council if someone gave me a crown…but like hell if I’m giving up that crown! It’s shiny!

 Mai has been waiting for him to approach her to talk. I don’t know if I’m supposed to find the bed exchange amusing, but—Mai, come on. The bed needed to go. How could you sleep in it again knowing that Azula was raped and impregnated there? No, let it burn. Throw some oil on it while you’re at it. There’s bad juju in that mattress. I don’t think making Lu Ten in that bed erased the aura of squick. Though also, Zuko, you should have offered her a different bed. Come on, my dude.

 “‘Really?’ Mai sprang like the jaws of a trap snapping closed. ‘So you were thinking of me the whole time you were with her?’”—Yikes!

 Mai continues to press him on why he slept with Azula, with him getting “unaccountable angry that she wouldn’t just accept his explanation.” She doesn’t buy that the fight spun out of control, though that was a part of what happened. But that isn’t why it happened. Zuko reveals the ugly truth of it: “‘She made me so angry [ . . . ] I just lost control.’”—Meaning that Zuko didn’t have sex with Azula because he loved her. He did it to punish her.

 Mai then asks why Azula would sleep with Zuko, and Zuko tries to explain that it’s because Ozai abused Azula. Mai isn’t convinced by this—maybe she thinks that this is some kind of Morgana plot on Azula’s part—and doesn’t believe that Ozai would admit to the abuse, either.

 “‘He just let it slip, in a moment of anger!’” Zuko says, to which Mai responds, “‘Really? Because that sounds a lot more like you.’”—Yes. Yes, Mai, Zuko and Ozai are very similar people. Similar explosive angers, similar self-centered natures, similar disregard for Azula’s personhood. Yes, you got it in one, even if you don’t realize it yet.

 “‘You’re a fool if you think it ever happened.’”—This is so ugly. Mai, don’t be this person. Don’t be the person who thinks that the rape victim is lying.

 “‘Because I know Azula, I know how she thinks [ . . . ] She makes you feel sorry for her, you give her want she wants. You let her bend again when she starved herself, maybe you’ll give her a royal pardon when it turns out Daddy fu—’”—Mai, I don’t think you’ve ever understood Azula. Not really. Right now, you sound like all of the Azula-haters out there, who see Azula as a conniving snake, rather than a deeply troubled girl. And honestly, when did Azula ever act weak to try to get what she wanted? And why would she want this story to be spreading about her? It will make everyone look at her differently. At best, they’ll pity her; at worst, they’ll find a way to blame her for what happened, or say that it served her right, even though she was a child.

 Zuko raises a hand to strike Mai at this point, almost adding wife-beater to his sin list, but Mai intercepts him and tries to kiss and come onto him. When Zuko pushes her away, Mai asks him why he didn’t push Azula away, too—which HE SHOULD HAVE. Which he had opportunities to do! But he didn’t and he doesn’t know why.

 Mai has a theory, though: “‘It wasn’t just the fight. You wanted her. You lusted after her. Your own sister. [ . . . ] You act like you caught some disease that impaired your judgement. [ . . . ] But people don’t do what you did without feeling that way for a long time. And you never said a word to me.”—I think Mai is correct here, though this doesn’t touch on how his resentment towards and his desire to dominate Azula pushed him over the edge. I also want to sit her down and say, “He didn’t know, so he couldn’t have told you,” because I don’t think that Zuko knew on a conscious level what he felt for Azula, besides anger. Also, Mai, would him telling you have made it better, somehow?

 “‘You would never talk about her! I had no one I could talk to about her—’”—Ty Lee is glaring at you from the other side of the planet, Zuko.

 Mai accuses Zuko of raping Azula, which he denies, but Mai asserts what I’ve been saying for chapters now: “‘If she was crazy, how could she give consent?’”—Thank you, Mai! Thank you for calling him out on this!

 Mai wants to play the blame game, either having Azula or Zuko be entirely at fault for what happened. It’s not that simple, though. The truest answer here is probably Ozai—he’s the one who messed both of his children up—but at the same time, Zuko was in full control of his actions, unlike Azula. So we can’t and shouldn’t absolve him of responsibility.

 As Mai starts to cry, Zuko tries to hug her, but she pushes him away. “‘I want my husband [ . . . ] I want the man who would never do this! I want the man I trusted!’”—This reflects the pain that people feel when they find out that one of their loved ones has abused someone, except without the denial that usually comes with it. It feels impossible to reconcile the person you thought you knew and cared about with who they’ve been revealed to be. As much as I don’t like how Mai demonizes Azula, I understand and feel for her here.

 Zuko asks if this means that she won’t come back, but she clarifies that she will, with some conditions. After all, there’s Lu Ten to think of. “‘He asks for you every day.’ A tear dripped from her chin, and watching this, Zuko needed a moment to realize she was talking about their son.’”—Dude, think more about your son! You barely seem to!

 Mai’s conditions are reasonable: Talk to her before telling their son about what’s going on. Give her her own quarters. Don’t come into them unless she summons him. Keep her in the loop about the search for Azula. She’ll probably have more requests in the future, but this is a good start.

 We switch over to Aang and Katara, who are visiting Bumi in Omashu. Bumi captured Azula at one point and she escaped, which is what the pair are here to discuss with him. We get the detail that there are now bounty hunters looking for Azula, and that the people of the Fire Nation aren’t thrilled with the search.

 “[Aang] began to realize that he was not these people’s hero. He wondered if Azula might be.”—Honestly, Aang? Yeah, she is. Their princess is the youngest firebender master in centuries, she has blue fire (which could be seen as a sign of Agni’s blessing), and she conquered Ba Sing Se with only two comrades, after their most famous general failed to. Iroh and Zuko are also, technically, traitors to the Fire Nation, since they defected and helped overthrow the king. This isn’t even touching on the dismantling of the Fire Nation’s military, the trials against many of the Fire Nation’s nobles and generals, or the massive amounts of reparations that Zuko has given to the other countries. Are these things, in the broader sense, justified? Of course. The Fire Nation’s imperialist regime brought 100 years of suffering to the world, suffering that is still fresh for the other countries. But from the perspective of the people of the Fire Nation, this looks like a deep betrayal from their leaders. The fact that the economy is tanking and the crops aren’t good must look like further signs that Zuko is bringing disaster onto the realm. Of course the people would look up to Azula instead. She brought them glory. Zuko is forcing them to feel shame. It’s little wonder that they prefer her to him.

 Moving on. Bumi is apparently 117 years old now. I know that Kyoshi lived to 230, but this is still wild to me. It’s also wild that Bumi became the king of Omashu, considering that he was a commoner and is still illiterate. Not that there’s anything wrong with either of those things—I think that compassion is a much more important quality in a leader, and Bumi has that in spades—but I’m surprised that the Earth Kingdom allowed it. I have to assume his prodigious earthbending was part of what elevated him. I bet there’s a whole story there, which we’ll sadly never see.

 Katara is offended to learn that Bumi shared a meal with Azula, but Bumi reminds her that he shared a meal with them, too, when they were prisoners. “It’s the little things that count, you know, Aang [ . . . ] Never forget that.”—Bumi knows how important kindness is, and probably suspects how little of it Azula has been shown in her life.

 Bumi doesn’t buy that Azula is crazy and dismisses the danger she poses if angered: “‘Oh, all Fire Nation people are like that’”—Which is too much of a generalization for my tastes. He thinks that Iroh might be an exception, but given that Iroh breathed out flames at the suggestion that Zuko put Azula into an abusive environment, I’m not convinced.

 When Bumi compares Azula to her “prince” brother, Aang worries that he might be going senile, but Bumi gently corrects him. They then get back to business—Bumi reveals that Azula stowed away in a cargo caravan and was caught by inspectors when she fell asleep. Aang is surprised by this, but Bumi reminds him that Azula was sick during her stay in Omashu. Azula was with Bumi for two days—god, I would have loved to see that—before he let her go. Aang and Katara are shocked and ask why. Bumi confides that he’s worried that Azula’s capture and death will lead to war, since Zuko threatened as much.

 Aang and Katara don’t believe Bumi at first, with Aang going so far as to say, “‘He wouldn’t endanger [the peace] for personal concerns.’”—I’m sorry, Aang, but have you met Zuko? Family is super important to him, even if that family is dysfunctional. Katara understands, since she’s the girl who went on a revenge quest to murder her mother’s killer, but only stopped when she realized that the killer wasn’t worth damaging her soul over. But if Sokka’s life was on the line, you better believe that she would start a war for him. Katara is just as ruled by her emotions as Zuko is, and just as inclined toward dramatic gestures. Aang’s own culture works against him somewhat here, since it emphasizes the communal over blood relations (which are functionally erased, though there must have been someone keeping records of who was related to who, to avoid accidental incest). It makes it difficult for him to grasp how deep a bond with a family member can go, even one who you have a bad relationship with. Zuko and Azula are parts of each other’s identity, difficult though that is for both of them to accept.

 Bumi points out that the Earth Kingdom is part of why he didn’t turn Azula over to the Fire Nation or Aang—the Earth Kingdom is more of a collection of countries in a trench-coat, rather than a single, organized government. If Omashu defied the wishes of Ba Sing Se by turning Azula over to safety, rather than to them, the people of Omashu would pay the price. We also learn that since Bumi outed himself as a White Lotus member, he hasn’t had access to privileged information, like Azula’s trial in absentia.

 Regardless of who catches Azula, though, the Earth Kingdom sees it as a win. Either they catch and kill her and restore their honor, or Zuko shelters her from them and they can start a war over it—a war which would help them seize Fire Nation resources and recover from the occupation. Zuko has, apparently, suspended reparations to them.

 Bumi adds that a war with the Earth Kingdom would be extremely difficult to fight: “‘A continent this vast supplies almost unlimited troops, and plenty of places to hide private armies. And our chain of command is more convoluted than the 52nd Earth King’s family tree.’” The technological gap between the Fire Nation and the Earth Kingdom has also been closing since the war ended, and with the Fire Nation’s military gutted, it would be challenge for them to get an edge on the Earth Kingdom again. Overall, our heroes are in a bind, but there’s still time for them to find a way out of it. Until Azula is captured, that is—that will force the issue.

 At this point, some letters arrive. The Gaang, thinking that Azula went to Kyoshi Island to recruit Ty Lee, are relieved that Ty Le “refused.” In truth, Ty Lee would have gone with Azula, but Azula told her no, because she understands the pain that she caused Ty Lee by forcing her to choose between her friends, and doesn’t want to do that again. Zuko tells them that he’s going to Kyoshi Island himself to ask questions, and that they shouldn’t waste the trip, which they accept…but Aang is starting to feel like he can’t trust Zuko, which troubles him.

 We cut to Zuko as he arrives on the island. It turns out that Kaede actually bought that Azula and Ty Lee were fighting, and gave Ty Lee some light work to cheer her up. Zuko thinks that maybe Azula told Ty Lee everything and that’s why she’s not acting like herself. I wish that Azula had told Ty Lee, since it would be good for her to have someone in her corner who knows what happened from her perspective. But I understand why Azula didn’t say anything—it’s a memory that causes her shame, she’s used to keeping stuff like this a secret, Ty Lee might have let it slip to someone else, and it would have driven a wedge between Ty Lee and her other friends, something Azula is being careful not to do. But even so, I wish Azula had someone who knew and was supporting her in the aftermath, rather than her carrying it on her shoulders alone. But Azula isn’t used to accepting help from others, especially with things that are this sensitive.

 When Ty Lee and Zuko meet, Ty Lee says that she didn’t think that Zuko would want to see her, and Zuko contradicts this with, “‘We’re friends, aren’t we?’” I don’t think that is true, given how Zuko thinks about her and how dismissive he’s been to her in the past. Zuko tries to apologize for that, but Ty Lee is more upset about how he’s treated Azula than with how he’s treated her. Zuko gets to the point: he wants information about Azula, such as why she was crying. Ty Lee refuses to give him that info because it’s personal to Azula, which tells us that Ty Lee wouldn’t have shared what happened to Azula if Azula had told her.

 When Zuko says that he’s just trying to help Azula, Ty Lee calls bullshit. “‘You’re just trying to help yourself! She never would have ran if she thought there was any chance of you ever letting her out! But you never saw her; you wouldn’t even answer her letters! [ . . . ] Even I could tell you just dropped her there to forget about her—”—So true, Ty Lee. Especially the part about him never seeing her, which works on both a literal and figurative level.

 “‘I never forgot!” Zuko insists, but this is actually more damning. It suggests that he kept Azula there so he would always know where she was and have control over her life.

 “‘You never helped her, either [ . . . ] I know she didn’t always treat you right. I know, because she hurt me too. [ . . . ] But that’s not all she was. She’s not a monster. [ . . . ] She feels remorse, and she can repay kindness with kindness. She’s just—seen so little of that, I don’t know if she knows what it looks like anymore.’”—Clearly Ty Lee dumped most of her character creation points into Wisdom (and Dexterity). She might not be cunning, but she understands people, Azula included, much better than most of the other characters do. She has a lot of empathy, which I deeply appreciate.

 Interrupting their conversation, though, June the bounty hunter storms into the clearing, with her shirsu paralyzing Ty Lee with a lash of its tongue. And that brings us to the end of another chapter! As always, thank you for the read, Aurelia!

 Sincerely,

WiseAbsol  

[emberbent]

Book 1: Fire | Chapter 4: Family Reunion

As he did with all his students, Amrit saw Shinza as a hunk of raw marble, and as he chiseled away, he started to unearth the statue within. Her method of bending was methodical and controlled; she combined strict textbook technique with inventive application, often surprising Amrit. But as beautiful and clean as her lines were, and as sufficient as her self-defense abilities were, she still lacked the core essence of what it meant to be a firebender. After a while, her progress came to a plateau.

He kept her training at a dogged pace, and she was up to the challenge. He had to give her that much: she was persistent. But after seeming to hit a wall, they both needed a break. 

“You’re doing great,” Amrit encouraged, catching his breath at the end of the day’s session. They were both panting and covered with sweat. The smell of charred air surrounded them.

Shinza gulped down a cup of water. “But?”

Amrit sighed, taking his time with his own cup of water before finally getting down to it. “I worry. You’re doing well here, but I’m not confident that your bending won’t weaken once you leave. This heat, and being on the equator… it’s helping you, but it can also be a crutch.”

Gracefully, she bent and settled on the ground. “So how do I get stronger?”

“I think you know the answer to that,” Amrit replied, sitting across from her and looking her in the eye. “It’s been a struggle for you - I know it has. But your progress has plateaued because you still haven’t pinpointed your motivation. You need to be able to overpower your opponent with sheer force. Firebending by nature is an offensive art, and frankly, I don’t think you don’t have the resolve for it.”

He watched her. Being straightforward was something Shinza valued, but delivering such a blow to her ego wasn’t easy. Not with so much at stake, and with all of the pressure falling squarely on her shoulders.

“I know,” she replied quietly. Streaks of black soot marked her face, obscuring her freckles. Several strands of hair had come loose from her topknot and framed her face. She’d given this everything she had. “I’ve been trying. I really have.”

“I know you have,” Amrit assured her. “But I think you need a break. We’ve been training in the temple this whole time, but you’re not getting what you need here. Maybe you should do some wandering.”

“I thought it wasn’t safe for me to travel alone,” Shinza countered, thinking of Mai and Zhang and their incessant need to be glued to her side.

Amrit considered that. “I think it’ll be worth it. Besides, as far as I know, no one knows it’s you who’s the Avatar, and you’re skilled enough now that you could hold your own in a struggle.”

They were quiet for a while. Ever since the incident at the General’s Tea House, no one would let Shinza out of their sight - even Amrit, who was now realizing the value of showing his faith in her. The idea of being treated like the adult she was, to her, seemed wonderful. Then she said, “I think I know where I’m going to go.” 

Shinza boarded a ferry to Fire Fountain City the next morning. She had dressed in mainland Fire Nation clothes, which was something she’d never done before, but for the first time in her life, she looked and felt proud. Maybe she wasn’t up to Amrit’s standards yet, but she’d come so far in the months she’d been on the island. What made a knot in her stomach, though, was the worry that this trip would be a waste. What if she didn’t find what she needed here? What if she disappointed Amrit? Or worse: what if she disappointed herself?

She stepped off the ramp and headed toward the address she’d seen on envelopes her whole life: her aunt and uncle’s apartment. She’d never met them before, but from all the pictures they sent and from the stories her father had read aloud from their letters, she felt like she did. Shinza wasn’t sure how they’d take to a surprise visit, but she’d had no way of letting them know she was coming. As she passed through the town square, she came upon what gave the city its name: the fire fountain. After Fire Lord Ozai’s flame-mouthed statue had been hauled to the ground and removed, the citizens of the town, under Fire Lord Zuko’s orders, had replaced the statue with the fountain. It was meant to symbolize the Fire Nation’s turning away from its past, and it was a beautiful sight when lit at twilight. But now it was broad daylight, and it seemed so much smaller than she pictures she’d seen of it with crowds gathered around it and with its floating lanterns glowing. It was hard not to be disappointed, but she kept going until she reached the address. 

Shinza ascended the stoop and used the iron knocker to rap a couple times on the door, using the interim time to make sure not a hair was out of place. A couple seconds later, the door swung open, and a familiar face greeted her.

“Ohh!” her aunt Chiyo squealed, already holding her arms out. “Is that Little Shinza I see?”

“Hi, Aunt Chiyo,” Shinza responded, smiling through the vague discomfort of being ensnared in a monstrous hug and pulled into the apartment. The woman was much shorter than Shinza, and quite round, with a kind face and twinkling yellow eyes. She reached upward to cup Shinza’s cheeks and beamed into her niece’s face.

“Oh, what a joy!” she exclaimed. “I never thought we’d get the chance to meet you. What brings you to Fire Fountain City? Are your parents here? Oh, come in, come in! Please, make yourself comfortable. Everyone! Guess who’s here?”

Shinza found that the little apartment was full of people, all of whom she recognized, and all who had come to the living room to see her. Her uncle Akio, her cousin Kenzo, his wife Nhu, and their children, Lili and Khazan. All of them fussed over her, commenting on her physical similarity to her father, Chiyo’s brother. 

“You’re just in time for dinner,” Chiyo sounded. “Are you hungry? I made a nice roast duck for the family. Oh, how lucky you came by today, when everyone’s here!”

“Sounds wonderful,” Shinza said; Lili and Khazan, who seemed boundlessly fascinated by their cousin, pulled her into the kitchen and offered her a place to sit. Gradually, she acclimated and started to feel comfortable. “It’s so nice to see all of you. I’ve seen pictures, but it’s not the same.”

“So what brings you to town?” Akio inquired, pulling out a chair for himself. “Taking a little vacation?”

“Something like that,” Shinza replied. “I’ve been working hard, and I needed a little getaway. And I thought, you know, maybe it’d be nice to meet you all.”

“Well, it’s just wonderful to meet you,” Akio beamed. “Tell us, how are your parents? What do you do for work? What’s it like in Republic City?”

Everyone around her leaned in, eager to hear. Shinza couldn’t help but laugh. All the attention was strange, but the magnitude of love she felt in the room was something she’d never forget. “Mom and Dad are fine,” she said. “Mom’s still practicing medicine, and Dad’s been enjoying his retirement as much as he can, for how badly his leg hurts him. I, uh… I’m an artist, technically, but I do some side work as a musician. Sometimes I dance, too, and sometimes I give lessons. Republic City’s nice like that - there’s always a job to take.”

“Oh, that’s just wonderful,” gushed Chiyo. To Shinza’s relief, no one gave her a hard time for not having followed in her parents’ footsteps. Chiyo chirped, “Bird’s on! Everyone come eat. Shinza, honey, you serve yourself first.”

With full plates, they all tucked in. The kitchen was filled with lively chatter, the heavenly scent of a meal made with love, and laughter. Topics of conversation wove and changed; Shinza had managed to tune out, finding the cacophony of everyone talking to each other and over each other simultaneously a little overwhelming; so had Nhu, was sitting beside her. The woman, who appeared to be a little older than Shinza, gave her an amicable smile as they continued their meal.

“So, did you hear?” Kenzo piped up. “The new Avatar’s been located.”

“Oh? No, I hadn’t heard that,” Chiyo replied airily. “Well, I hope The Organization manages to find them and do away with them for good. I shudder to think...”

Nhu groaned. “Kenzo, what have I asked you about politics at the table?”

“Oh, honey, come on. It’s friendly conversation.”

Shinza said nothing, coolly picking out the mushrooms from her bowl and eating them first. 

“It’s not friendly, it’s incendiary,” Nhu muttered. 

Kenzo countered, “I’m tired of this. We all know the Avatar needs to be done away with. We can’t have that kind of abuse of power in our world.”

“Daddy,” Lili interjected, tugging at her father’s sleeve. “Is it true the Avatar murders babies so they can go into the Avatar state?”

Chiyo nearly choked on her roast duck.

Khazan said to his sister, “A boy in my class says his dad is in The Org, and that they’re gonna find the Avatar and murder them in the Avatar state so they’re never reincarnated.”

“Okay,” Akio boomed. “That’s enough. Nhu, sweetheart, you can’t censor people. Kenzo, don’t provoke her. Now -- Chiyo, what did you say about those sweet dumplings?”

“They’re in the fridge, dear,” Chiyo responded, happy not to engage in such a grim facet of the conversation.

“What do you think about all that, Shinza?” Kenzo said after a moment, with his father’s back turned to them in the kitchen as he searched for dessert. “What’s your stance on the Avatar?”

Shinza delicately slurped the last of her noodles, pretending to think on it. “Hadn’t really considered it,” she said casually. “There’s no such talk in Republic City. Everyone basically pretends the Avatar doesn’t exist.”

“I’ve heard different,” Chiyo piped up. “Akio’s second cousin lives in Republic City, and he says The Org has growing numbers. They’re coordinating a search effort.”

“Well,” Shinza shrugged. “I guess, whoever the Avatar is, they should prepare for the fight of their life.”

“Well said,” bellowed Akio, coming back to the table with a tray of sweet dumplings. Dessert was a much quieter affair. The children went to go play in the living room, Kenzo and Akio went to go smoke on the balcony, and Chiyo, Nhu, and Shinza cleaned the kitchen and enjoyed some quiet conversation. After the last dish was dry, Chiyo looked apologetically at Shinza. “I hope we didn’t scare you off,” she said sheepishly. “Things can get pretty lively here.”

“No bother,” lied Shinza. “It was really an honor to meet you all. I hope this won’t be the only time we get to see each other.”

Through the balcony screen, Shinza garnered little scraps of Akio’s conversation with his son. He admonished Kenzo for allowing his little boy to entertain the idea that the Avatar was a child murderer, and Kenzo argued that he’d heard rumors of it himself. Besides - after Unavaatu, what wasn’t the Avatar capable of?

“I should get going,” Shinza announced. “Aunt Chiyo, thank you so much for dinner. I’ll tell Mom and Dad you said hello.”

“Okay, sweet girl,” once more pulling in Shinza for a captive hug. “Go tell your uncle and cousins bye.”

Shinza had parted with all of her family except Nhu, who offered to walk her to the bus stop. Just being out of the cramped apartment was such a relief that the shrieking locusts of late summer didn’t bother her. Nhu was quiet and tall, like Shinza was, with dark brown hair and striking hazel eyes. Her parents had immigrated to the Fire Nation from the Foggy Swamp when she was tiny, she told Shinza. She didn’t have the luxury of visiting her relatives like Shinza did; when Nhu’s parents left their family’s neck of the swamp, they’d been so deeply disappointed that they decided they wouldn’t be welcomed back.

“That’s awful,” Shinza replied. She couldn’t imagine being cut off from her parents that way.

Nhu shrugged. “What do I care? I have my parents and Kenzo’s family, loud as they can be. And a new cousin I can talk to.”

Shinza gave a genuine smile. The two passed the fire fountain, which was being lit by two keepers, shooting little synchronized spears of fire into the lantern wicks. Emberflies wove their way in and out of the lanterns, scarcely discernible from the light of the lanterns. “I was hoping I’d get to see this before I left,” she murmured.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Nhu replied. “Almost makes you forget about all the ugliness in the world.”

“Almost,” Shinza snorted. They watched the fountain for a while and then made their way to the bus stop. Just as they approached, the Satobus that would take her back to the ferry pulled up, hissing and coughing black smoke into the street. “This is me.”

Nhu took one last look at Shinza, her intense hazel gaze finding Shinza’s warm red-brown eyes and instilling a knowing look. “Be careful,” she whispered. 

Shinza boarded the bus, taking a window seat and staring after Nhu as she hurried back down the street, eyes ever vigilant.

[bellatrixobsessed1]

I’ll Meet You At The Bottom (Part 60)

In the weeks to follow, Azula had fallen back into a sort of routine; wake up, have breakfast, firebend, address any matters that concerned her as the Fire Lord, and join Sokka as he painted away. The smell of paint was beginning to cling heavily to his room, it was no wonder he preferred to sleep in hers. She had to admit that there was more stress than she had anticipated in being the Fire Lord, even when sharing the crown with Zu-Zu. She began to find it hard to fathom actually running the nation on her own as she had so fantasized about as a girl. It hadn’t helped any that she had to make more arrests, as it would turn out, Ursa had a keen ear for the palace whispers. By the end of the first week Azula had been back, the woman had uncovered three more traitors in the guard. It was getting to the point where she and Zuko were discussing the pros and cons of getting an entirely new palace guard.

The stress was starting to show on her face, she fond herself sleepless again. Her eyes somewhat hazy with faint bags re-appearing. She confessed to letting her hair fall into a state of minor disarray that Sokka would comb through at the end of the day tsking as if his own weren’t a tad straggly. Zuko was in a very similar state, if not even more haphazard as he rushed from one end of the palace to the next. At least there was a very solid and almost impeccable sense of unity between them now.

 But there was one concern she had that her brother did not share. Especially being as he was just beginning to rekindle his relationship with Mai—the two were still in the gushy ‘I love you phase’. Azula found herself surprisingly thankful that TyLee had tagged along. She was far savvier in the way of romance than Azula. TyLee was hesitant at first, watching Azula as if she were some kind of animal that had been backed into a corner and ready to strike.  Azula couldn’t really hold it against her though, for the same reason she didn’t fault Zu-Zu for his initial weariness.  It had taken the appearance of Sokka to put TyLee at ease. Seeing him embrace her so fondly, must have alleviated some of her reluctance because at least, she tossed her arms around the Fire Lord in a way she hadn’t since they were companions. Though Azula spoke none of her concerns with Sokka in ear shot.

 “You guys are so-o-o cute.” Ty Lee squealed when he was finally off to squabble with Toph.

 “I guess.” Azula muttered, sweeping a wave of glossy black locks off of her shoulder. She pulled her legs up to her chest, leaning her weight against the wall behind her.

 “What’s wrong?” TyLee asked, “Are you worried he doesn’t like you?”

 “Oh, that’s not the problem at all.” Azula replied. It was very nearly the opposite of the problem. She had to admit that she never imagined anything serious and/or long-lasting with the man. If she were being wholly truthful, at first she thought that her love for him would have extended as far as the healing process went—that she only loved him because he had saved her. But the more time she had spent with him, the more reasons she found to care for him much further beyond that. Maybe if she had anticipated the long-term, she would have thought ahead. But the oaf had snuck up on her. “I wasn’t supposed to love him you know. That was an accident.” Was all she managed.

 “Of course it was!” TyLee clapped her hands together. “You don’t just plan on falling in love with someone.” She rolled her eyes as if that was the most obvious stamen in the world. And maybe it was. It probably was, Azula decided.

 Even so, Azula liked to go in with a plan. To know exactly what move would be made next. But she didn’t plan this—any of it—she was never given the chance. She hadn’t even planned on falling in love with him…

 .oOo.

 Sokka hoped with all of his soul that TyLee would be able to ease Azula’s mind. Ever since seeing Ozai she seemed unsurprisingly troubled. Yet she kept insisting that it had nothing at all to do with her father. No matter how much he tried he couldn’t pry the issue out of her. For some reason she regressed into bottling it up again.  She mentioned once or twice something generic about how “running the Fire Nation is difficult.” He sensed that it ran deeper than that. She was looking rather tired again but not enough to cause him any particular concern. He just feared that she would get worse.

 It was time for a new plan; he would share the last of his worries if she opened up to him.

 He made his way towards her bedroom were he found her surrounded by considerably large stacks of paper and scrolls. She was racking a hand through her hair as she flipped through a stack of them. She paused, put her paper-ruffling hand on her hip, and blew at a strand of loose hair. “Hey.” He greeted. He sat down causing the bed to dip and a few pages to scatter.

 Azula narrowed her eyes. Picking up the larges scroll she could find, she swatted him over the head. “Go pick those up!”

 “I don’t know if I feel like doing that.” He replied.

 With a huff, she got off of the bed and collected her papers. He knew she’d find some sort means to get a petty sort of vengeance later. “What’s all of that, anyways?”

 “Contracts and trading logs among other things.” She replied.

 “Contracts?”

 “I’m planning on renovating areas of the Fire Nation.” She answered. “Zu-Zu wants no part in it, he hates keeping track of the royal finances.” She set the papers aside. “What do you need?”

 “Just wanted to check on you.” He said. “I was also hoping you were still interested in the rest of the Suki story.”

 “Oh, I am. Very much.” She folded her hands in her lap.

 “Katara has mostly helped me come to terms with it, but I still wanted to tell you.” He started. “I don’t remember if I already told you, but she was pregnant.”

 “You may have mentioned that.” Azula moved closer to him.

 “I could have been a dad, Azula.” He whispered.

 “Would you have wanted that?” She asked.

 “I don’t know what kind of father I would have been…”

 “But did you want to find out?”

 “Yeah, I kind of did...” He trailed off. “I don’t know if I’d even be a good father but I still…I wish that I had the chance. Ya know?” He found himself repeating that he could have been a dad. He found that as Azula stared at him with an unusually soft gaze that it still stung. It still hurt him very much to have never known his child to be. He got to experience it in only the most ambiguous sense. That very instinctual care and love that came with touching Suki’s baby bump. A very vivid taste of what should have been. He found himself teary eyed once more. He swatted at his eyes, reminding himself very much of the woman staring quietly at him. “It’s not fair.”

 “No.” Azula agreed. “It isn’t.”

 “I never got the chance…” he repeated.

 “You act like you won’t get another.” She shrugged.

 “Do you want to be a mother?”

 .oOo.

 That truly was the question. The one that had her so quiet and so conflicted. She felt awful for Sokka, to get a touch of something so beautiful but only one touch…

Azula took Sokka’s hand in her own, for lack of anything else to do. He was eyeing her so imploringly. But she didn’t know how to answer him just then. That didn’t stop her from trying. “I guess it wouldn’t be so awful.” But the truth was she had trouble picturing herself even holding a baby, much less caring for one. She had a hard time even picturing herself carrying a child. “I don’t know that I’d make a good mother.”  She lie back down and stared at the ceiling, but not before glancing at Sokka.

 His face fell. “I think you’d be fine. As long as you don’t copy your dad.”

 “You want to be a father, don’t you?”

 He nodded.

And with that nod a healthy portion of her reluctance abated.  Still she had her fears. She traced her fingers over her still flat tummy. She truly had trouble seeing herself carrying a child. “That’s good to know.” She noted, rolling onto her side.

 “Why?” He asked.

 .oOo.

 “You’re pregnant, aren’t you?”  He asked

 “I might be.”

 His face lit up once again and he took her in his arms, holding her so tight that she muttered a word or two of protest. But he continued to hold her just as close, his fingers bunching the excess fabric of her robe. “Is that why you’ve been so quiet lately?”

 “Yes.” She murmured into his shirt and then once more and unmuffled when he loosened his grip enough for her to move. He could feel her body slacken some.

 “Did you tell anyone else?”

 “Just TyLee.” She pulled out of his embrace.

 “You’re mom is probably going to be happy! And Katara! Katara delivered a baby in the Serpent’s Pass once…”

 Azula put a finger to his lips. “Slow down, Sokka. I’m not completely sure yet.”

 But he was. He was very sure. With the news in the open he found it very obvious. A bundle of teeny signs that he had missed beforehand. The sheen of her hair, the sparkle in her eyes, and the difficult mornings. He’d seen it on Suki, he’d felt it. Ignoring the Fire Lord’s half-hearted protests he came to set his hand on her abdomen, brushing his fingers tentitivly.

 “Stop doing that,” she grumbled. “It’s weird.”

 “No it isn’t.” He disagreed but withdrew regardless. He should have anticipated her discomfort. “You’ll be fine.” He assured her, opting to rub her back instead. She always seemed to enjoy that. “When are you going to tell everyone else?”

 “When I know for sure.” She answered.

 His head was dizzy in the most delightful way. He was getting a second chance and this time he wouldn’t let anything happen to his family. He rubbed his cheek against Azula’s. He never imagined that he would call her family.

 .oOo.

 The twinkle in his eyes remained. “I know for sure.”

 It was rather soothing to hear, though she still had her concerns, Sokka at least made it sound like everything would be alright. She had put so much thought into telling him and into sorting out her own feelings on the matter. Yet, for all the dwelling she did on her the matter she still hadn’t come to a conclusion.

She felt Sokka’s touch fall on her belly again. This time she didn’t bother telling him to remove it, instead she set her hand over his and squeezed.

The truth was, she was scared.

[bellatrixobsessed1]

To Capture The Dead (Part 1)

This was going to be a one shot but now I think it’s gonna be a three-parter (maybe more). An AU where Zuko dies in the Agni Kai with Ozai. Azula doesn’t want to believe. All of the adventures from Avatar State to Crossroads still happened, but Zuko is a figment of Azula’s imagination. Iroh takes it upon himself to try to help her recover.

Also kind of an impotent note; I have 6 fics I’m going back and forth between. To decided which to continue first I’m going to factor in reviews, comments, and likes. If this one does end up spanning over three parts it’s going to be placed in that pool of fics where likes are a factor.

She remembered seeing him the night after. She remembered taunting him about the ordeal. She remembered very clearly that he told her to leave him alone and she remembered well that he had thought that she was their father coming to check on him before he left. Azula was one of the first people to see the burn mark on his eye, in fact. And days later, she had made a secret journey into the shadier parts of the Capital to see how he was doing. She had told him to change the bandages lest he got an infection. She got a kick out of his misery but she didn’t want her brother to die. She knew that it would break her if he did. She knew because it felt awkward and lonely with his chair as empty as their mothers at mealtimes. Her father was often preoccupied with matters concerning their nation so mostly she ate alone. Mostly she studied alone. She did mostly everything alone. So she was left to wonder how Zuko’s quest for the avatar was going. Not very well she suspected, it would be a long time before she saw him again. Unless she sought him out anyways. She thought of doing so on many occasions but, recalled that Iroh had acquired them a ship. It was curious, but unsurprising all at once that her uncle was so will to leave his luxurious lifestyle to accompany Zuko.

 So she was alone with her father until he called her to find Iroh...which meant she would be chasing Zuko. She thought it odd though that he only mentioned Iroh.  Iroh the fugitive traitor who had tried to assassinate Ozai for some reason or another. No wonder he had taken off with Zu-Zu. Zu-Zu who wasn’t spoken of at all, even though he was with Iroh. It might have been a good thing that their father didn’t hate Zuko enough to have her hunt him down. But she would do it anyways, it had been far too long since she’d given him a good mocking and this would be the perfect opportunity.

 She found them in a resort on the Su Oku River, a lovely place, she had to admit. She noted to herself that she would return one day if she ever got some down time. A few days of searching and interrogating lead her to a teeny rental house in the surrounding village. They of course, weren’t there when she arrived. She fretted that they may have vacated already, but  she couldn’t see Uncle Iroh leaving behind the pearly shells he had collected. So she made herself cozy, reclining in the nearest chair and inspecting each shell. How drab, she thought, poor Zu-Zu must be going out of his mind. The little things like seashells and talks on the beach held as little appeal to him as they did to her, maybe even less appeal. She’d give him something to think about. From wide open windows came a fluttering breeze that took to lifting her hair.  She supposed that it was pleasant enough to keep her company until the door fell ajar. “Hello, brother. Uncle.”

 Azula didn’t expect any warmth from Iroh, he never seemed all that fond of her, most people weren’t. But Zuko, he was a display of clashing emotions. A sprinkle of anger, a touch of hope, and a whole lot of fear. The princess smirked. Without so much as a greeting he questioned her sudden re-appearance in his life. “In my country, we exchange a pleasant hello before asking questions, have you become uncivilized so soon, Zuzu?” She got to her feet, pacing leisurely towards him.

 Iroh narrowed his eyes in confusion. He had a question for her, but whatever it was it when unvocalized. Instead he asked, “To what do we owe this honor?”

 It was vexing really, how they had no desire for small talk. She accented her irritation by snapping one of Iroh’s shells, she could see his lip twitch in irritation, though he didn’t speak up. Even if he wanted to she was already weaving her lie together; a pretty tale about assassination plots and Ozai wanting to be with his family. To Zuko she added, “Father regrets your banishment. He wants you home.” He didn’t give her the joyous reaction she had hoped for, something that filled her with pangs of annoyance. “Did you hear me? You should be happy. Excited, grateful, I just gave you great news.”

 Again Iroh looks at her as though he want to tell her something. “Your brother is…” he starts.

 But she isn’t talking to him. “Don't interrupt, Uncle!” She snapped. He always liked to cut in whenever she tried to talk to her brother. Her brother who still hadn’t acknowledged her offer, however false it was. “I still haven't heard my thank you, I'm not a messenger. I didn't have to come all this way...” she trailed off.

 Zuko muttered something, such and such about how he couldn’t believe it. Iroh stood behind her, his face twisted in fear. It didn’t matter, she had said her piece and now all she had to do was wait. “I can see you need time to take this in. I'll come to call on you tomorrow. Good evening.”

 But they never showed and they had cleared out by the time she had made her way back to the resort village. Scowling to herself, she chided herself on letting them evade her so swiftly. It was odd, Zu-Zu usually ate that kind of praise right up. Now she would have to address the village and put out a watch. Her father wouldn’t be pleased. After many days of tracking she let Lo and Li convince her that it would be well to get an extra hand or two and replace the royal procession.  She wasn’t at all opposed to reuniting with Mai and TyLee, surly they would put some of her boredom at ease. Attaining TyLee’s hand was easy enough—the girl could take a hint. Mai though, was nearly more trouble than she was worth. But she had ended up leading Azula right to the Avatar, so that hostage situation had its pay off.  She had a choice then, who she wanted to seek out more—her brother or the Avatar. The Avatar of course, was her brother’s goal. If she captured him, Zu-Zu may very well come crawling out to her. And so she pursued, finding out that—for an airbender—this Avatar wasn’t so stealthy. His bison was leaving her a fine trail, one that lead her to a ghost town. A fine place for a show down really, it was a shame that Zu-Zu couldn’t be there.

 “All right, you've caught up with me. Now, who are you and what do you want?”

 “You mean you haven't guessed? You don't see the family resemblance? Here's a hint.” She held her hand up to her eye, and in her best Zuko voice spoke, “I must find the Avatar to restore my honor!” The joke seemed completely lost on him. It was as if he hadn’t heard Zuko bellow something of the sort before. “It's okay, you can laugh. It's funny.”

 He squinted at her, “maybe if I knew your brother.” He replied.

 It was her turn to narrow her eyes. Zuko’s quest must be going worse than she thought if the Avatar didn’t even know of him yet. It was so typically embarrassing of little Zu-Zu.

 “So now what?” The Avatar inquired.

 “Now? Now, it's over, you're tired and you have no place to go. You can run, but I'll catch you.” She stated and she would. She would have him before the night was out. To her luck he declared that he wouldn’t be running. All the easier, she thought. “Do you really want to fight me?”

 The timing was so perfect; Zuko swooping in and throwing his bamboo hat to the ground. How needlessly dramatic. And he was alone too. She wondered how long he’d been stalking her, waiting to emerge. She also pondered upon the whereabouts of her Uncle and why he wasn’t with Zu-Zu. She hadn’t much time to dwell on it, the fight was about to get that much more interesting. And yet the Avatar stood more impassively than even she. Had he even acknowledged Zu-Zu’s sudden appearance? “I was wondering when you'd show up, Zuzu.”

 This time the Avatar did laugh. “Zu-Zu?” Somehow Azula felt that he was laughing at her. Not at her jib. No, at she herself. Already she was growing to dislike this boy. This boy who refused to laugh when he was supposed to and chuckled when it was out of place.

 “Back off, Azula! He's mine.” Zuko scowled. His impulsive temperament had only seemed to grow since she’d last seen him.

 Azula’s eyes wavered between he and the Avatar. “I’m not going anywhere.”

 “Clearly.” The Avatar muttered.

 She held her ground waiting for either to attack. The Avatar seemed to be stuck in the sand, but Zu-Zu didn’t disappoint. In one graceless punch of orange flame, the fight was in motion. A blur of blue and orange of dodging and ducking. And the Avatar, he was just standing around like a dolt with his mouth agape.

 “This is crazy.” He whispered to himself. Over her own fire, his foe, the same girl who’d nearly gotten him in Omashu, didn’t hear him. He had to admit, she was putting on an elegant show—he’d never seen flames of that color nor firebending so fast and elegant. Yet it was no show, the girl was truly fighting as if she had an opponent to get the better of. An opponent that wasn’t he, himself. He was thankful for it though, it took her attention from him. The girl, though completely out of sorts, was powerful, the sort he didn’t want to tangle with. He cursed his luck that she had happened upon him. It would seem that her attention was less divided than he anticipated, for the minute he tried to make his getaway, a jet of blue flames whizzed precariously close. She gave more chase, following him through a maze of crumbling buildings. He’d nearly lost her when dashing into one so deteriorated that it no longer had a roof. She’d almost fallen, but her balance was as frighteningly keen as her bending. It was bizarre, uncanny. How she was so cool and collected and yet she was fighting two people when there was only one person for her to fight.

 Azula dropped to the floor. Zu-Zu had given her quite a show, quite literally falling without a scrap of dignity, into the Avatar’s trap. That would put him out of the fight for a while. How convenient. Equally so, the Avatar had sprung his own trap. That tiny building looked so very flammable. She decided to give her theory a test and set it ablaze.  With a slice of fire she had the boy trapped beneath a heap of debris. With fingers poised to deliver the finishing blow, she gave him a smirk. A smirk that was swiftly cut off by a flow of water around her fingers. The Avatar’s companion, the waterbender, had finally made an appearance. The princess scowled, Mai and TyLee must have failed. For that she would be fighting The Avatar, three more of his friends, and Zu-Zu.

 Azula pushed her way past the waterbender only to run into the boy, her brother, Azula assumed. And that stupid boomerang. She gave him a good bolt of lightning, enough to get around him. Her victory was short in nature as the ground shifted beneath her feet. The earthbender. And then Iroh. She was being outnumbered, overwhelmed, and cornered. If they caught her then, her mission would be a complete waste. She sighed to herself, twice in a row Iroh and Zu-Zu would be escaping her, a disappointing track record. Even so, she’d make a bigger disgrace of herself if she let them snatch her away. Her best option was to talk her way out of it, to deceive.  A few slick words and a carefully placed blow was her best chance. “Well, look at this. Enemies and traitors all working together. I'm done.” She lifted her arms, to punctuate this. “I know when I'm beaten, you got me. A princess surrenders with honor.” She looked between her foes, sizing up each one with a quickness. Iroh, Iroh was the most opportune target. She lashed out in a lick of fire, relying very heavily on the shock value. When their attentions turned, she made her escape.

 Zu-Zu was going to kill her for this one.

 .oOo.

 Iroh knew then that it had been a mistake to pursue his niece. The waterbender, was generous and seemed to have no qualms about helping a firebender. She might not have been so willing if she knew just who he was. But the earthbender he had talked to, that enduring stranger, had spoken kindly of him. He had offered her tea and advice that he had hoped was taken well. She had run away from home and then from her friends, it reminded him so very much of something Zuko would have done. It tore at his heart to mention him to the girl. As the waterbender worked to alleviate his pain he thought back on the conversation.

 “People see me and think I'm weak. They want to take care of me, but I can take care of myself, by myself.” The blind girl had said after he offered to pour her a glass of tea.

“You sound like my nephew, always thinking you need to do things on your own, without anyone's support. There is nothing wrong with letting the people who love you help you. Not that I love you, I just met you.”

 “So where is your nephew?”

 “He is dead.” He hadn’t said it out loud before then. “Killed by his own father.”

 “So what are you doing out here then, old man?”

 “It’s a long story.” He admitted. “I’m a fugitive to my own nation. I tried to take the life of the man who killed my nephew. And that man sent my niece to bring me to justice.”

 “And you’re hiding from her then?” The girl asked.

 “Actually, I’ve been tracking her.”

 “Is she lost?”

 “Yes, a little bit.” He looked up, gazing more at the skyline than at the girl he was conversing with. “Her life has recently changed and she's going through very difficult times. I’m sad to say that I didn’t think it would bother her, but it did. The death of my nephew is hurting her too. I don’t think that she wants to admit that he’s gone…”

 The girl seemed confused, “so you’re following her?”

 “I know she doesn't want me around her right now, or ever. We never got along, but if she needs me, I'll be there.”

 “Your niece is very lucky, even if he doesn't know it. Thank you.”

 It was one of the most compelling conversations he’d had with someone he’d met on the road. He was thankful to have her among those helping tend to his injury. He might stay with them for some time before returning to Azula.

 Returning to Azula…

He had just told himself that going after her in the first place had been a mistake.

Yet, he wanted to be true to his words that he would be there if Azula managed to get herself into too much trouble.

 Even so, the move felt terribly placed. He felt, for one, like it would be taking the healing the waterbender had just done for granted. For another, she was now seeking out the Avatar, by all means she was dangerous. By all means, she was to an extent, an enemy if she was so willing to give the world’s last hope over to her father. But Azula was not in a particularly stable place. She had been subjected to the same abuser as her brother. She needed help, a way to get out of the tangle, and he didn’t see anyone else reaching out.

 So he would extend his hand, just as he would have done for Zuko.