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karmanticmoved · 5 years

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1-85 uwu

j esus okay

1. describe yourself.

uh,, emotional ig, dumbass, quiet, exhausted all of the time, v queer, healthy mix of feminine and masculine, insecure, and not tha t great tbh. kinda a pussy ass b itch

2. if you could go anywhere for a week all expenses paid where would it be?

idrk. maybe somewhere like a hella nice beach in another country, maybe somewhere in europe. i like travelling but i hate the travel to get there and have no money so i havent put thought into it. maybe hawaii or somewhere like that.

3. do you have siblings?

the one thats still alive is my half brother

4. what is your favorite constellation, why?

orion maybe bc i don't know a lot but i can see that one from my bedroom window even in the city n idk. its comforting. or scorpius cause i'm a scorpio

5. favorite color.

yellow, pink, or blue.

6. what kind of music do you listen to?

almost anything. whatever catches my interest.

7. favorite flower. (you can name as many as you want cause flowers are awesome)

forgot what i said last time but those

yellow carnations i think?

8. if you could do magic, what is the first spell you would learn?

maybe smth to put myself to sleep immediately bc f uCk

9. favorite childhood memory.

my summer camp memories are pretty great. also memories of my dad and i going fishing are good.

10. have you ever been cheated on?

i mean in theory i couldve been bc online relationships but no. n im polyam and have identified as such for a majority of my relationships so no.

11. if you could describe your perfect room, what would it be?

big but not too big, yknow? like big enough that it can be filled and have room to walk around and lay on the ground or whatever but not Empty. and a pretty big bed to stretch out on, n a closet in the room. multiple windows w blackout curtains so theres light but it can be blocked out. n fluffy rugs or carpeting but preferably rugs in case smth spills so we can get it out of at least Remove the rug. and probably a cat tree thing in corner for dipper. n a computer desk and actual lights that light up the whole room. but probably,, fairy lights too bc full lights too bright. and i kinda want a pink room but blue or yellow work also. a nd pride flags on the walls + posters and various other stuff bc plain walls are boring. and tons n tons of b ooks too.

12. favorite animal.

river otter

13. what was the last photo you took of?

cat

14. do you believe in soul mates?

i'm not sure. i do kinda think there are people who you will like. really really click with and who become so important in your life that they're like. apart of u yknow? but i don't think that anyone as an individual needs to keep those people in their life forever. they arent destined to stay with them, and they shouldnt force that relationship (platonic, familial, romantic, or whatever) even if they were close for years and years. screw destiny. youll have people you care about, and sometimes you have to break that bond to save yourself, and thats okay. there will be other people who can and will be just as important. that got kinda off topic skbsks. i don't think theres really like Destiny soulmates. but there could be like. soulmates in the sense of for however long we're together, we're soul bonded. even if its not forever. does that even make se nse skbsns

15. do you hang toilet paper over or under?

over is the one thats socially acceptable right

16. your go to place to eat & your favorite thing to get there.

idk theres a place near a movie theater closeish to my house and its a nice little cafe and i dont eat there bc i dont eat much in general but i get their bubble tea and i love. raspberry bubble tea w rose popping bubbles. its comfort drink.

17. do you believe everything happens for a reason?

no. sometimes shit happens for no reason, and its bullshit, but you can't reverse it, so you gotta figure out how to move on from it.

18. guilty pressures?

im assuming thats meant to be pleasures

umm,, idrk. i don't know what exactly i like that would count as a guilty pleasure so,,

19. favorite mythical creature, why?

merpeople are s o cool i fuckin. love funky aquatic pals hell yeah. maybe im just Water babey but. they're rad. dragons are also hella cool bc like dragons???? theyre scaly and prett y and can breathe fire or have wings and kill u?? also like selkies bc again. water. but i used to hear a lot of stories abt them and theyre so nea t

20. something most people don’t know about you.

i have the potential to be a huge asshole and also kinda Wish to fuckin murder someone sometimes but. i act nice most of the time anyway.

not murder murder but i can get angr y enough that i just wanna Stab smth

21. where did you grow up, what was it like?

grew up kinda near the edge of the city, still in it but not like the main city area. in western washington. it was kinda rly boring, i used to spend a lot more time outside or just by myself playing with leaves or toys or whatever. when i had friends i played make believe w them even when outside of school. so yeah. boring id say.

22. do you believe aliens exist?

sure.

23. what was your last google search?

other than names for some actors n stuff, i was looking up various star wars things

24. what did your last relationship teach you?

the one that like. ended? i guess thatd be. be careful with your own feelings and try to figure them out before jumping into anything, and also don't try to force smth that in reality isnt really working.

25. would you relocate for love?

honestly yeah

26. do you hold grudges or forgive easy?

both. it just depends on how badly i or someone i care about was hurt by it. more likely to hold a grudge if a friend was hurt by someone d eep enough to leave a lasting impact or if they don't get a genuine apology i will be 🔫🔫. or if the person keeps hurting them. even if that person is also my friend.

27. favorite book.

favorite graphic novel is bloom by kevin panetta

favorite books in general are autoboyography, more happy than not, and what if its us. all gay. i know. its okay. im a kinnie.

28. do you consider yourself an extrovert or introvert?

introvert by far

29. have you ever kept a journal, do you now?

i tried once. i probably will have to once i go see a therapist, or at least one for my Bad Thoughts

30. top 5 favorite movies.

in no particular order

little shop of horrors, love simon, coco, it (2017 and 1990), and shazam! ig? maybe others but i definitely Forgot all the shit ive watched

31. do you believe that everything happens for a reason?

32. what is your greatest fear?

definitely gotta be all of the people i love hating me and abandoning me or secretly hating me and then leaving me without saying anything. and the worst part is im always afraid its gonna happen babeyy

33. favorite alcoholic beverage.

im baby

34. most embarrassing thing you’ve done.

im embarrassed by my own existence. i don't remember the Most embarrassing thing

35. do you believe in ghosts?

not until i have proof that i can actually trust and believe in

36. what is the best and worst part of your personality?

idk ig im nice. but im also. very easily set off on certain emotions especially the bad ones which sucks like especially jealousy bc i dont wanna!! feel jealous!! tho i think that ties into my greatest fear bc my brain immediately tells me im useless to everyone and they hate me. but. sometimes i get jealous and then feel bad for that and then hate myself for all of it. bc my friends deserve to hang out w other people and care about other people im just fucking stupid babey !!

37. should you split the dinner bill?

i rly don't get why you wouldnt tbh like if u both wanna be there u should both pay. but if one person gonna pay it should be the person that asked.

38. are you a good liar?

most of the time. when it comes to my mental health i can either lie great or im literally breaking down in front of the person so

39. what keeps you up at night?

depressing thoughts. anxiety about everything. wishing i could cuddle and fall asleep w jay. sometimes i just cant sleep bc im too restless.

40. would you rather go without your phone or music?

music. i need my phone to text my friends and i Need my friends

41. do you believe in god?

what god would let the world get to the point its at. what god would allow people to do such fucked up shit.

no. i don't.

42. how do you relax when frustrated?

cry, take a nap, take a shower, listen to music, cuddle dipper

43. what’s something that offends you?

when people go "oh yeah i support gay rights but im still gonna eat at chick fil a bc its good" like i get so fucking. pissed off by that. youre not gonna fucking s ta rv e without their goddamn chicken. i know a bi person who goes there and says its okay bc they dont Directly Give Their money to Specifically anti gay organisations but im just. ugh. fucking pissed bc there are other places to get food just avoid the one place for fucks sake. their food is good it doesnt matter. its like saying yeah pewdiepie is a bad person and nazi and a racist asshole but his videos r funni haha so im gonna watch him anyway

44. favorite food

i hate myself whenever i eat food

45. if you were on a 10 hour flight and could sit and talk to any person the entire time, who would it be?

@destinedformuchmore or @pinaplelee

46. when do you feel the most confident?

never? but ig i feel confident when working on tech construction during theater tech. as long as i know what im doing.

47. what do you do in your free time?

sleep. draw. cry. play video games. talk to my friends.

48. is there anyone who has completely lost your respect

matpat did for being a dick abt neopronouns and making a transphobic joke and only apologizing when a cis person told him to. not when hundreds of trans people did. and also other jokes that are inherently offensive to various groups. a n d for making extremely not Child friendly jokes in his videos which are very much targeted towards kids. say what you will about the target audience, there are a lot of children who watch them. please stop making creepy nsfw jokes if you won't even swear, sir.

49. have you ever broken someone’s heart?

i guess so yeah. but she also broke mine first.

50. did/do you play sports in school?

i did. i don't anymore bc highschool sports are bullshit but. basketball, ultimate, and soccer.

51. when are you happiest?

talkin 2 jay prolly

52. coffee or tea?

tea

53. what is one possession you own you wouldn’t want to live without?

my binder. or my stuffed cat puppet thing ive had since i was 7

54. what is the first thing you notice about a person?

their general emotions, mostly. like if theyre in a good mood or if theyre bored or distracted or whatever. or if they seem interested in actually talking to me

55. what is your favorite season, why?

fall. my birthday, the atmosphere is nice, it's pretty, its hoodie weather.

56. what makes you laugh?

stupid little comments or jokes my friends make tend to make me laugh a lot harder than i should but jabdn

57. are you a clean or messy person?

a mix. i Cannot have some things messy or i will ksjqkd. Die but i don't make my bed too often bc its ha rd when its against 3 walls.

58. what is important for a successful relationship?

communication communication communicati

talk about ur goddamn problems n keep talking to each other.

59. what was your upcoming like?

if thats supposed to be upbringing

idk, very relaxed. pretty easygoing and kinda boring.

60. favorite holiday?

any holiday in december rly. i don't celebrate a Lot but the atmosphere and others celebrating is nice to see. i kinda wish my parents did more to embrace the jewish part in our family blike. whatever. christmas is fun.

61. what is the first thing you’d do if you won the lottery?

give half of it to my parents. and then probably use it for plane ticket

62. what’s the best pizza topping combination?

hawaiian pizza. pinapple n canadian bacon ty

63. favorite outdoor activity.

frisbee

64. how are you? honestly.

not great. i want highschool to end.

65. would you rather go camping in the woods or stay at a beach resort?

idk. camping is fun but if i get to stay at the resort for free i would rly love 2 stay at a resort tbh ive never done that

66. what is the most beautiful thing in nature?

waterfalls. or rivers or just. water in nature. and very green forests. aNd snow.

67. favorite type of candy?

none

68. if your life was a book, what would be the title?

i can and will do arson, an autobiography

69. what movie quotes do you use of a regular bases?

i quote john mulaney and whatever my obsessions are pretty regularly

70. what was cool when you were young but not cool now?

silly bandz. pokemon cards. these weird unicorn figures i collected

71. what’s the craziest conversation you have ever eves dropped on?

im mostly the one having the weird conversations

72. what’s the most interesting documentary you’ve ever watched?

i watched one about dogs and cats and their evolution which was lit

73. what’s the worst hairstyle you’ve had?

when i let the lady just go fuckin ham on my hair bc i was watching spirit that horse movie and didnt wanna stop so it was. rly bad bangs and hella short in back but not the sides

74. what do you like to cook?

whatever im hungry for. i don't have the energy to cook a lot

75. what’s the coolest animal you’ve seen in the wild?

really pretty tropical fish

76. what’s the funniest tv show you’ve ever seen?

idk. i rly like schitts creek its pretty amusing

77. do you usually follow your heart or your head?

heart at first but my head if things get bad

78. what is your favorite quote?

"i have a splitting headache and i think i'm dying. how are you?"

or a character just saying "try harder" when another failed to do smth.

this is supposed to be deep or whatever but im in a Mood

79. what’s the weirdest crush you have ever had?

once had a crush on a character in a minecraft parody lmao

80. what’s your love language?

sending shit that makes me think of them. n just. making tons of stuff for them both online and irl like bracelets.

81. do you ever feel alone?

oh yeah. all the time. im not but it feels like i am which sucks

82. ever been bullied?

yeah

83. are you usually early or late?

late bc of my parents rip

84. what kind of art do you enjoy most?

drawing, or writing. also theater.

85. what do you wish you knew more about?

i just wish i could remember everything ive learned more about. i know a lot i just forget all.

id like to know more about forensics tho

#asks #long post #friends

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sheerhope · 7 years

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extended diary thing / holy lucky streak batman

if you dont wanna hear about my bitchass personal life and you wanna continue thinking i have a good girl persona and dont have wild sex scroll past this for more joji and aesthetics ty

ladies and gents these past couple of weeks have been goddamn magical. i can’t describe it any other way. we need to count the blessings god have given us up untill this point in life bc frankly idk if i can keep track anymore

seeing people i thought i would never see: a domino effect of blessings:

alright so britbong crush who i mentioned in previous posts (if youre reading this: hi lmao) says hes gonna be a speaker at this tech thing. super dope and i’m supportive but also like “dude we’re gonna be in the same country but opposite sides smh” SO i tell my homegirl mikayla about this and shes like “no youre going you apply for scholarships and get there” and i’m like “fat chance also plane ticket and hotels” and shes like “idk do it anyways”. so i do that, apply for this scholarship, get in , room with my other homegirl fiona, and get my flight crowdfunded. how the hell this all fell into place perfectly i will never know but i thank god and also those gofundme-ers. yall make dreams come true.

thats only part one of this several-part story, comrades.

it was everything i imagined and more. i hung out with him. i talked with him, held hands with him, sang and rapped with him, hacked with him, played ping pong with him, ran all around the city and showed him the cutesy touristy things. also wild wild sex. never ever will forget that lmao. but yeah. thats just the TLDR.

day one was awk bc we were just getting to know our IRL selves but i think the peak was probably ping pong. just being a goofball with him and networking. he also held my hand in the lyft back to french montanas unforgettable and i wont forget that. okay lol

day two i actually got some damn sense and ditched the heels and wore flats. also lyfted instead of a 30 minute walk to the piers. rest of the day was hacking on this project we were working of there (cant name it bc it would prolly give away the conf and his name and im not gonna do that bc opsec af). i went to go drop off stuff at his place after. i’ll keep it SFW and simple by saying we ended up being late to a party last nigh bc we were too busy in his room lmao. that freaked me the fuck out tho bc he was on some “i just wanna be friends and see how this goes” bs and i was like “ehhhh do i really wanna hookup or just be straight up and say i don’t want anything but us for real”. ranted to some female friends about this at a party but by the time i was back at his place he was cool with making it legitimate. and i was over the moon.

day three my dude. (he got his first in&out!!!) we went to apple and cuddled on caltrain and swapped music. (i finally got my odwalla lmao) and then me and my fam went out to stanford to my long lost sister from the other coast. we left and took the train back and i shit you not there were fireworks out the window. bitch if this isnt a chickflick i don’t know what it is. then and i took my stuff from fi’s place to his place for uh... obvious reasons lmao. <insert lewd activities> i swear we tried to watch tv tho.

day four we coordinated outfits omg. idec if i sound cocky for a moment but i had the cutest ass outfit it was like a flowery dress and denim blouse okay ANYWAYS he looked amazing and like the only guy in the world to me and yeah lol <insert montage of running around doing touristy shit and looking badass. lombard, golden gate, ghiradelli, etc.>. i also tried boba for the first time which was cool. i got my sushirito and he got his frosted lemonade. we made it FB official then ran off to caltrain to show him google. imagine a cute ass couple riding around on google bikes and taking pics everywhere. that was us lol. we also had to call 911 on these people fighting but we’re gonna ignore that lmao. best night once we got back though. we had m&ms and white wine and watched video game reviews on youtube and cuddled. it was the most romantic thing ever. can’t even describe it, but i’ll never forget that moment. it was a perfect blend of #adulting but also just being childish and ourselves around eachother

day five worst day but it still was a damn good day bc i got to spend it with him. in&out for breakfast, saw sea lions, then went our separate ways for flights. we went to bart together before splitting off and i hugged him tight before he left and he comforted me saying he’d see me again, but when he got on his train and it left i legit started crying because i thought “damn this is it, i’m not going to see him again forever” which i know now is bs but like, its still a long time yknow?

overall 11/10 trip, makes me smile and tear up thinking about it. legit it was like a fairytale or movie or chickflick, every goofy moment too. (inb4 i go total white chick mode)

Other shit thats dope but not quite as dope as that:

new kitten named boots. hes p dope.

new job at summer camp in a week or so. also dope. scared bc uncertainty but who knows, could be better than expected.

startup got our app on the app store. i’d link but opsec.

maybe will snag a gig for the fall but idk yet.

but yeah life has been good to me. too good. new tech, new bf, new cat, new job, new success. I thank God honestly, this luck streak is too abnormal to be anything but that.

#personal #<3 #life is good

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viralhottopics · 7 years

Text

While You Were Offline: The Internet Cant Look Away From Kellyanne Conways Outfit

It’s happened! There is now a 45th President of the United States, and America is now officially in a Brave New World. Can you smell the change in the air? Are you ready, as Jack “King” Kirby once put it, for the world that’s coming? Unsurprisingly, the internet this week was focused on the inauguration of Donald John Trump, as if everything else didn’t really exist. But just because you watched it happen on Friday on both TV and Twitter doesn’t mean you know the whole story. As ever, there might have been things you missed. Here, as always, is where we come in. Friends, countrymen: These are the things from the last seven days that you need to know, but might have overlooked.

Kellyanne Conway, Who Are You Wearing?!

What Happened: Rule No. 1 of any big political event: Don’t upstage the guest of honor. Especially by wearing a particularly distracting outfit. Where It Blew Up: Twitter What Really Happened: Kellyanne Conway is a fascinating figure, and has been since her entry into the Trump campaign during the election. She comes across as somehow independent from, and an integral part of, Trumpworld, as if she’s always pursuing her own strange agenda that can occasionally diverge from what the new president wants. So perhaps we should have expected that Conway would show up to the inauguration in a particularly eye-catching ensemble:

Kellyanne Conway's inauguration outfit has made my eyes roll back so hard I am now in the past http://pic.twitter.com/4TZTJBN0mh

— Stephen Leng (@steveleng) January 20, 2017

But what was the inspiration for Conway’s ensemble? Twitter just couldn’t decide:

Who wore it better: Kellyanne Conway or Paddington Bear? http://pic.twitter.com/CP2M6fzLyD

— Michael Hopper (@mhopp7) January 20, 2017

what's the civil war anime Kellyanne Conway is cosplaying

— Tim Maughan (@timmaughan) January 20, 2017

Who wore it better? #KellyanneConway #InaugurationDay http://pic.twitter.com/n2DeXVB6AI

— (@OHchrYsouLa) January 20, 2017

Why does Kellyanne Conway look like the old New England Patriots logo? http://pic.twitter.com/swgdHH53v6

— Tyler Brooke (@TylerDBrooke) January 20, 2017

My aesthetic is Kellyanne Conway revolutionary war cosplay. http://pic.twitter.com/2ZohhtTR7E

— Ronan Farrow (@RonanFarrow) January 20, 2017

Kellyanne Conway's $3600 @gucci coat was designed to celebrate the city of … London. #Inauguration http://pic.twitter.com/OKC9Nr4Wdf

— Kate Bennett (@KateBennett_DC) January 20, 2017

I felt hollow & devoid of joy today until Kellyanne Conway filled & replenished my spirit with pure & unadulterated pettiness #Inauguration http://pic.twitter.com/Mu1dbU8Kl1

— Monica Rose (@MonicaRoseM) January 20, 2017

Melania is wearing Ralph Lauren. KellyAnne Conway is wearing Lady Gaga

— Kate Esquivel (@djkatekc) January 20, 2017

The Takeaway: And as if the various cosplay jokes weren’t enough, it should be pointed out that the buttons on that coat require special attention.

Is this the Kellyanne Conwway coat? https://t.co/EwfOiQvaqp http://pic.twitter.com/MT3q3Ks9BS

— Dave Itzkoff (@ditzkoff) January 20, 2017

The buttons are cats. Cats! No wonder the Internet couldn’t look away from this ‘fit.

Tweeting About Tweeting About Writing

What Happened: Donald Trump worked really, really hard on that inauguration speech, you guys. Where It Blew Up: Twitter, media reports What Really Happened: In an attempt to drive up interest in the presidential inauguration on Friday, then-President-elect Donald Trump sent out the following tweet early last week:

Writing my inaugural address at the Winter White House, Mar-a-Lago, three weeks ago. Looking forward to Friday. #Inauguration http://pic.twitter.com/S701FdTCQu

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) January 18, 2017

There is just so much in this image that’s notable, which might be what Trump himself thought before he shared it with the world. Unfortunately, the reasons why it was considered notable might have been different from what the rest of the Internet was thinking

@realDonaldTrump that is a blank piece of paper and you're holding a closed sharpie http://pic.twitter.com/ekCcH8eTXe

— Jules Suzdaltsev (@jules_su) January 18, 2017

Well, it could be worse:

Cool pic of @realDonaldTrump writing his inaugural address. http://pic.twitter.com/ycxEftY89G

— Benjamin Siemon (@BenjaminJS) January 18, 2017

Thankfully, the latest in high-tech technology of the technical kind meant that it was possible to get a preview of what Trump was writing on that notepad, if Twitter was to be believed. (Spoilers: It wasn’t.)

"Writing my inaugural address"? @realDonaldTrump doesn't need to be so shy about his sketch – V. Putin must be v. proud http://pic.twitter.com/Ktyed3wTYM

— Asa Bennett (@asabenn) January 18, 2017

@realDonaldTrump #NotMyPresident #TheResistance #conflict #Putin #Inauguration

In house security cam Mar a Lago http://pic.twitter.com/diwnpjAS3F

— Beo Bachter (@kaysintBB) January 18, 2017

Exclusive sneak peek at Trump's inauguration speech! http://pic.twitter.com/6W6ex0Ks3z

— Kara Calavera (@KaraCalavera) January 18, 2017

Exclusive: #Trump's Inauguration speech leaked! #TrumpInaugural #trumpgrammar http://pic.twitter.com/XzrXXpnjxD

— Gerry Stergiopoulos (@GerryGreek) January 18, 2017

Hell, even celebrities couldn’t resist:

A photo posted by Karl Urban (@karlurban) on Jan 18, 2017 at 2:03pm PST

The fact that social media was roasting the tweet didn’t go entirely unnoticed, but that’s not to say that the media wasn’t that desk he’s sitting at appears to belong to the receptionist at Mar-A-Lago. (Still, he really did write the speech, apparently.) The Takeaway: Also, did anyone notice that thing about Mar-A-Lago being “the Winter White House”? Is that a thing now?

Why Didn’t Kanye West Perform at the Inauguration? He Wasn’t Asked

What Happened: Considering the trouble the Trump team had in finding people to perform during the inauguration, one would think they might turn to Trump’s pal Kanye West, right? Wrong. Where It Blew Up: Twitter, media reports What Really Happened: Ahead of Friday’s big day, the question on many lips was “What the hell is going on with the musical entertainment at the inauguration?” After all, even the Bruce Springsteen band dropped out this week, following Jennifer Holliday’s pulling out after

Do u think Kanye will perform at trumps inauguration

— Kilo Tango (@Ktttttttttttttt) January 9, 2017

Ah, yes! Kanye! The man who , with a Trump spokesman saying, “He considers himself a friend of the president-elect, but it’s not the venue. The venue we have for entertainment is filled out, it’s perfect, it’s going to be typically and traditionally American, and Kanye is a great guy but we just haven’t asked him to perform.”

That statement—and, particularly, the idea that Kanye wasn’t “typically and traditionally American”— generated a lot coverage in the media, and on Twitter, too:

they have asked *everybody* to come to this sad ass inauguration but kanye aint good enough? whew. hope the cooning was worth it.

— king crissle (@crissles) January 19, 2017

Kanye not invited to play the inauguration because he isn't 'traditionally American' but they are having Michael Flatley riverdance. Okay.

— Matt Haig (@matthaig1) January 19, 2017

Wait so Kanye was just being used & played for a sucker by Trump all along? Boy, I sure hope Don wasn't doing that to any other supporters.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) January 19, 2017

trump: makes one black friend trump: you can't come to my parties tho https://t.co/JFWiHMs2H3

— sunflower queen (@christielock) January 20, 2017

The Takeaway: Of course, for some, there was a potential upside in the snub:

I hope Kanye runs on the stage and interrupts by saying Obama had the best inauguration ever! #Inauguration

— devon sawa (@DevonESawa) January 19, 2017

A Poem for Trump

What Happened: It’s rare that poetry makes the news. This story might reveal why. Where It Blew Up: Twitter, media reports What Really Happened: This one is both strange and wonderful. The Scotsman, which as the name suggests, is a Scottish newspaper, ran a report early this week about a poem written by an American writer named Joseph Charles MacKenzie celebrating Donald Trump’s rise to power from the perspective of his Scottish roots. (Trump’s mother Mary was Scottish.) The poem was well, it opens with “With purpose and strength he came down from his tower/To snatch from a tyrant his ill-gotten power,” and includes this excerpt:

“But for all his great wisdom, the braw gallant man Is matched by his children, the handsome Trump clan, And the flower of Europe, Melania the fair, Adds a luster and grace with her long flowing hair.”

That should give you an idea of the quality of the poem. Twitter was, obviously, impressed:

Disappointed Trump did not select my poem for the Inauguration:

Can you believe this Shit, because this is some shit I cannot believe.

— David Connerley Nahm (@DCNahm) January 17, 2017

I just read Trump's inauguration poem. It is possibly the worst poem I have ever read. Even as doggerel, it's HORRIBLE.

— Jennifer de Guzman (@Jennifer_deG) January 17, 2017

Trump to Inaugural Poet:

"Dude, write a poem that makes everybody remember why they hate poems."

— Airea D. Matthews (@aireadee) January 17, 2017

Pretty soon, the media started get excited. (Well, maybe horrified.) Meanwhile, the mention at one point in the poem of “hapless old harridans” in reference to women opposed to Trump got some readers particularly interested:

BRB, changing my name to "hapless harridan" https://t.co/Pnv0gYKfZc

— Ginger Justice (@SuziSteffen) January 17, 2017

I'm getting "hapless old harridan" added to my business cards. https://t.co/snPreqZuDv

— Kathleen Crowther (@Sacrobosco2013) January 17, 2017

Meanwhile, the Political Elite were somewhat confused by the whole thing:

THIS CANNOT BE TRUE PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISN'T TRUE. https://t.co/dMdj1kMO2W

— John Podhoretz (@jpodhoretz) January 17, 2017

Funny story: It wasn’t real. Or, at least, not as reported. As

Don't worry guys I wrote a REAL Scotland-inspired poem for Trump that might reflect our feelings more accurately http://pic.twitter.com/mKymZ1Gwpt

— Loris (@PygmyLoris) January 17, 2017

Meanwhile, at the Confirmation Hearings…

What Happened: Hearings for cabinet positions continued last week, offering all kinds of revelations to the general public. Including the surprise revelation of an all-new threat to school kids. Where It Blew Up: Twitter, media reports What Really Happened: But that’s enough about Friday’s shenanigans! There were, after all, other shenanigans to enjoy this week, such as the confirmation hearings for Betsy DeVos, nominated for the position of education secretary on Tuesday. Sure, plenty of people were skeptical that someone who wants public funds diverted to religious schools wouldn’t be the best person for the gig, but surely she would do a good job at her confirmation hearing, right?

Betsy DeVos refuses to say guns shouldnt be in schools. Cites grizzly bear protection.

No, for real.

— Nate Boateng (@nateboateng) January 18, 2017

"We need guns in schools to defend ourselves from grizzly bears." Thank you, @BetsyDeVos

— Lindsey Tepe (@l_tepe) January 18, 2017

wait, did Betsy DeVos really just cite GRIZZLY BEARS as a reason the federal government shouldn't keep guns out of schools?

— Tom McKay (@thetomzone) January 18, 2017

#BetsyDeVos must not know 33,000 Americans are shot and killed annually. Grizzly bears kill maybe 3 Americans annually. #DeVosHearing https://t.co/HRDdOH8KyA

— Shannon Watts (@shannonrwatts) January 18, 2017

when there are 3 deaths by grizzly bear each yr but 33,000 gun deaths and yr listening to @BetsyDeVos speak http://pic.twitter.com/4eXD4Zaq9N

— Gina Fuchs (@ginaAfuchs) January 19, 2017

OK, OK. But that’s Twitter, and Twitter hates everything. What does the rest of the world think?

Turns everyone bombed. The Takeaway: Probably this?

I think the grizzly bear would make a better Secretary of Education than Betsy DeVos #DeVosHearing

— Barack Posnanski (@tonyposnanski) January 18, 2017