#this is the reason I've been really not here except for recently haha (this and school at the start of december at least lmao)

[spockandawe]

Hello! I've been thinking about binding some danmei novels in my native language, but I don't know where to start. I found your blog recently and find it very inspiring! I was wondering if maybe you could share with me what tools and materials would be good to get started with?

Sure!!!! So, I'm on mobile and don't have links at hand, but if you go back through my bookbinding tag, there are other replies I've got about the materials for making a book specifically. The renegade publishing blog also has resource documents that walk through the bookbinding process and include links to educational materials, etc. So for here, I'll focus on the danmei side of things!

So, a fun feature about these books is that they tend to run LONG. I've seen a number of people try to take up bookbinding in google docs, and honestly, it's doing things on hard mode. For many danmei, it's basically impossible. I think my EARLIEST earliest attempt at svsss began in gdocs, and that's not a super long novel, but gdocs was choking on it. A word processor on your desktop is going to be your best bet. Personally, i invested in a microsoft office license, because it was familiar and i could afford it. But the free parallel to that will be libre office, which does basically everything word can do, with just minor differences.

On the fancy end of bookbinding software, affinity, indesign, and microsoft publisher are also names you may hear tossed around. These can do fancier, more artistic layouts, but also come with a heavier price tag. And because i had webnovels on my radar from the start, i wanted something ROBUST. I wanted to be able to dump all of the husky and his white cat shizun into a single file and work from it. And i did eventually do that! Being able to typeset a single file rather than repeat each step across several is great, especially since i tend to tweak design choices as i go.

For danmei, you're also going to want a robust printer. I have a color laser that's been an absolute beast of a machine, but a black and white laser can get you a long ways, and monochrome designs can be very elegant. You don't want an HP brand printer, their toner subscription practices are downright predatory, but Brother and Canon are names I've seen recommended highly. You probably don't want an inkjet printer, because long books take a LOT of ink. The one exception would be if you can find an affordable ink tank printer.

And the last major thing i can think of is that if your main computer is a laptop, consider typesetting with an external mouse and keyboard! Danmei novels are split into lots of short chapters, frequently split across just as many web pages, with lots of footnotes to format, and laptops are convenient but not ergonomic. Doing too much on there is just asking for a repetitive strain injury. I've done it, but often paid for my sins in pain! And your laptop keyboard may start complaining too, I'm almost certain my first typeset of mdzs was the nail in the coffin for my last laptop's keyboard, haha

I hope that helps! Best of luck to you! Ive found binding cnovels to be EXTREMELY rewarding, even though my original reason was because these things would NEVER be licensed in english 😂 I'm delighted to see people experimenting with it for other translations in other languages, I really hope it goes well for you!!!!

[asexual-society]

Just looking for some advice about how to tell my best friend I’m aroace. I was trying to find a way to ask other people in the community and found this blog so I hope it’s okay to ask. I do apologise if it’s not.

About three years ago, I tried telling her. I hinted at it, but in the end, I was too scared to actually tell her. I have two other really close friends that know, but one of them figured out I was ace before I did haha. They’re both very understanding of me due to their respective identities.

Recently, it’s been eating at me more and more. I write fanfiction and have been really wanting to explore aroace characters. We are actually co-writing a fic now and she’s one of my beta readers too. One of the characters I write the most about gives me major aroace vibes and I want to write about it and discuss with readers about it. The problem is that she reads my stuff. She’s supportive like that.

I’m just scared about her reaction is all. I don’t particularly care about what my family thinks because I have no intention of telling them. Not out of fear or anything, but for other reasons that don’t really matter at this point in my life. It’s my best mate I’m worried about :/ I don’t want her perception of me to be changed nor do I want her to start saying things like “you haven’t met the right person” or whatever.

This was long. I’m sorry 😭 I kept it anonymous because even though she doesn’t have tumblr, she knows my account and I’d rather not risk her seeing this :)

Hey Anon, I'm not gonna lie, I hate coming out. I've been putting off coming out to some people closest to me for so many years. But on the other hand! I totally understand having a hard time ripping the plaster off, and the feeling of it eating at you, so I can give you a couple of low-confrontation methods that might work in a pinch, and a couple of slightly scarier options and how to deal with them in case you're feeling brave?

You said she knows your blog but doesn't have tumblr, so you could try posting more about aroace stuff on here, or put it in your bio. That way, since she doesn't follow you, the chances of her seeing it are low enough that you have plausible deniability that you didn't think she would see it, and if she does, you were Definitely just about to tell her. Effectiveness: 3/10, she might not see it, in which case you'll be worrying about it for nothing.

A similar vibe of coming out is letting someone else do it for you. This only works if you have mutual friends, either online or irl. You don't have to be there when it happens, but I find it's less unpleasant if you are; finding out someone has outed you after the fact is for sure worse, even if you intended it to happen, but someone else offhandedly bringing it up takes the power out of your hands, which is scary in a different way, but it can technically work. Effectiveness: 5/10, it'll do, but it will not feel good. Requires mutual friends. If one of your friends is a loudmouth with no filter it might even happen organically at some point, but you can't count on it, so if you are there (even just in groupchat form) being able to steer the conversation in that direction might give you the small push you need to say it yourself, since it's way harder to just bring it up out of the blue by yourself, and also having another already supportive person present who has your back always helps. Effectiveness: 8/10, getting onto the topic might be hard, but having moral support is good. Requires mutual friends.

Similarly, you could engineer a situation where you're coming out to her and one other person who you know will be supportive (or you're already out to, if you're okay with a little deception) at the same time. She can't say anything shitty if there's someone else already there being cool about it. You don't even have to be coming out to the other person, you can just mention it while they're there (so it works the same as the above, except a little more intentional). Effectiveness: 8/10, points deducted for deception, but if it gets the job done, does it matter? Requires mutual friends.

Bargaining. Set yourself a deadline and have people to hold you accountable to do it. Effectiveness: 3/10, absolutely would not work on me, will probably not feel good, could be the kick you need to do it but only if your brain works that way.

Come out to someone else first and use the momentum to tell her right after. Works best if the first person you tell isn't close enough to you that it'll be really bad if they suck about it, but if they do suck, you can use that as a jumping off point to tell your friend (e.g. I told someone I was aroace and they said XYZ shitty thing), and you can sneak in an example of something that was hurtful that your friend will know to avoid saying. And if they don't suck about it (fingers crossed!), it could give you the confidence and boost you need to tell your friend. Effectiveness 6/10, requires you to come out twice as many times. You may be able to substitute in someone else being aphobic but not directly to you as a jumping off point instead.

You could try testing the waters by mentioning that you headcanon the character as aroace and seeing her reaction, if you haven't already, and then you can say "I sort of relate to them actually" and see where that gets you? Effectiveness: 5/10, high chance of backing out at the last minute, high uncertainty means this might be the scariest option.

If you have ways of making yourself do scary things already, do as many of those as you can, but if not, I can tell you that when I want to do something I'm low key terrified of but I know will help me in the long run, I write myself a letter to open as far in the future as I feel like (there are websites you can use for this), and I tell me-of-the-future about what I want to do and that I'm scared about it, and then I imagine them reading it and imagine how it'll be by then if I haven't done it yet, and how much better it'll be for them if I do.

Sometimes it's really hard to do things for ourselves, but imagining you're doing them for you-of-the-future gives yourself enough distance that you can convince yourself that you're actually doing it for someone else. It might also help to imagine that you of the future will be proud of you for doing it, and this is a pretty instantaneous reward situation, because you get the little kick of someone being proud of you before you do it just for deciding to do it, and then as soon as you've done it you get to be proud of yourself. Effectiveness: 8/10, high risk-high reward, will feel really good if you do it, but you have to do it.

If you're still worried about her saying specific unsupportive things, coming up with a few good responses to the most likely ones that you can use in the moment without even thinking can take some of the power away from her (or anyone else) saying them. If your friend is only attracted to one gender you can use the "how do you know you just haven't met the right [person of gender she isn't into]?" or "it hurts me that you think I don't know myself well enough/that you don't trust me to know this about myself". If someone you come out to isn't supportive you are legally allowed to be petty or guilt trip them, if they know you're not just gonna back down when they try to disagree with you, it shows you're serious, even/especially if you wouldn't normally go on the offensive like that. Effectiveness: ?/10, depends on your personality and how assertive you are, and can be difficult if you're worried about confrontation with your best friend, but it could just be what needs to be done, and is likely but not certain to get your point across.

I'm not saying all of these are good methods, but they are definitely methods that you could use. And hey, if you do it, let us know how you did it and how it went!

Best of luck, I hope you figure it out <3

~mod key

[bunglegaydogs]

Dazai's relationship with pain.

it's another Dazai rant, what the fuck did you expect

Anyways, I've always thought about this and I've been thinking about it a lot more as of recently. This one I can definitely relate to, me and pain also have a bit of a weird relationship lmao.

(Spoilers for Ch. 107, 55 Minutes, The Time I picked Up Dazai, basically just don't read if you haven't like read any of the novels or the manga or any extra content :) )

Firstly, I just wanna talk about his obvious dislike for pain (valid) and the fact that he has verbally stated on multiple occassions how much he really really does not like feeling pain, and there's such a heavy thing on how he wants a quick, easy and painless death.

It's just common knowledge that he has a strong distaste for pain, as he's announced many a time.

But what really gets me is his reactions to it.

He has none.

When Dazai is experiencing pain, he shows absolutely little to no reaction, except when it is shown for comedic relief, like during the Cannibalism Arc when they're in the back of the truck and he's like "Owowowowow don't move around so much, I'm wounded" to Atsushi and Akutaguwa. Or during season 1 when he's in the oil drum, despite him saying "I'm not at all interested in pain and suffering." "This is more a method of torture." and how much it hurts. But other times, he just has no reaction. Monotonous. Stone faced. There are certainly times when he does show how much pain he's in for very valid reason. When Fyodor gets the sniper on him, you can clearly see he's in pain. In the Azure Messenger episode whilst he's being fucking strangled against the window, we obviously see him in pain here. There are so many instances of this. But it also always just seems a bit... underexaggerated. In 55 Minutes, he gets stabbed, and whilst anyone would be like "fuck, this hurts, I've been stabbed through the chest clean through" he was smiling because he was happy, despite him not liking pain. Like??? I can't be the only one who finds it all sus can I? He literally has the most calm reactions to pain ever. In Ch. 107, he's grimacing a bit and is cracking jokes after HE JUST FELL IN A FUCKING ELEVATOR AND BROKE HIS FOOT LIKE HELLO?

The only thing I will say about this is that he looks away and clenches his jaw (I'm guessing that's what the 'clench' means, not his foot) when like assessing whether his foot is broken or not. But, not going to lie, I think that's the most emotion we've seen from him when he's in pain. In Dead Apple, he gets stabbed, and is like "haha sweet I'm dying" (common occurence fr). This is probably just a deluded and sleep-deprived rant but I can't keep this shit in any longer, it's baffling.

I also went deeper down the rabbit hole in another rant I wrote on a fucking WordPad document (that is where all of my rants start, I'm not joking) and likened Dazai to Q and their relationship with pain too. Q obviously has a very high tolerance for pain due to their ability and all, but they still have a fucking limit. They're a child. Strapping them to a tree and making it feel as if they're being sawed down about 600 times at once and stood and stepped on and chopped up is obviously not going to feel fucking great. But, they still have bizarre reactions to pain, such as (TW) having countless razorblades strapped to their arm and smiling as they lift their sleeve up to reveal it, not even batting an eye. Like, I have a really high pain tolerance, but goddamn. That shit is strange. But, they're like Dazai in that regard. During Dazai and Chuuya's first meeting, he literally beats the shit out of him.

Ah, right, okay, so I'm going to explain the three different versions of this, because there's the anime, the manga and the LN. LN of course goes into more detail, but the manga visualises it easily. The anime doesn't go too deep into it, but Chuuya is much more hostile towards Dazai in the LN/Manga.

(ngl love how Chuuya basically calls him 'cool' here, also him realising that Dazai has a personality after saying that? I can't lie, not many people would go along that line of thinking, they'd go the opposite way; I'm fucking definitely going into this in more depth in a different post but anyways)

In the LN, this is obviously their first meeting. Dazai literally fucking soars through the goddamn air, crashes through buildings and debris, rolls down a fucking hill, then gets stomped on by Chuuya. Then his deadass response, "It hurts. I don't like pain, you know." Motherfucker is stone cold. "Dazai's voice remained flat despite being attacked by the enemy and hitting the ground and buildings."

Listen, even Asagiri acknowledges it.

When Chuuya first steps on his fist, he literally is like "yeah this is fine" he literally looks at it "like it was someone else's". This motherfucker-

Also, emphasis on the "full of wounds". Chuuya is stepping on already fresh wounds and crushing them and his fucking bones beneath his foot, yet Dazai's like "mhm".

The next bit though is like finally. "Dazai sounded like he was in pain." Astute observation fr. Anyways, Chuuya fucking boots him and this is like one of the only times we see a normal reaction to pain as he "cries out". And then him "grimacing from the pain" which is once again a valid reaction. What's not valid is that despite Chuuya telling him he's prepared to kick him over and over again, and Dazai saying "yeah I don't like pain" and having a visceral reaction to being kicked like that, but still messing with him regardless knowing that it'll just end up with him in more pain. I fucking can't with this guy.

Mans got booted so hard that he fell and crashed into a fence, yet still is fucking with Chuuya and messing with him. Then, whilst he's been booted again, he STILL fucking taunts him, earning him a swift kick to the face that makes him bleed. He laughs at the pain. This is also a common reaction to pain that we see from him. Remember when Chuuya punched him in Dead Apple during the Dragon's Head Conflict and he just laughed?

Like, he's clearly in a lot of fucking pain from the last sequence of events that just occured, yet he still taunts Chuuya, and ends up getting hurt multiple times like?

Then, in the manga;

His deadpan face, not assed, no emotion.

Like, look at how violent that is. Mans literally winds his fucking leg up for that stomp, and the effect is literally "smash".

We all know how fucking violent and harsh Chuuya's kicks on. Because, despite his gravity not being able to work on Dazai, he can still build momentum to prepare for that kick against him and make is legs faster. I was reading up on how much a kick to the head would hurt/damage you the other day, and there were a lot of things saying "a kick to the torso/back/leg is scary because you need to care more about injuries than pain" and someone was saying that their friend was out of commission for fighting for a year due to a particularly fesity kick to the head that she received, and his other friend was out for six months, and that was martial arts fighting matches where they lessen their impact of their attacks so as not to severely damage their opponent. Apparently, a taekwando spinning back kick has been reported to hit at 1500lbs of force. For reference, a sledgehammer hits at just under 1000lbs of force. So, in a street fight or in a situation where the person attacking is doing so out of malicious intent, this could cause some serious fucking damage.

Yet this man bats not a single eye. He gets kicked, we clearly see him react with the "cough" and his facial reaction, but then, even whilst he's keeled over on the ground, his face returns to it's normal stoic, stoney faced reaction.

Chuuya here kicks him in the face again, and he literally just says "That hurt." with the deadest look in his eyes.

Then, when the Mafia surround him with guns and Dazai's just chilling there, motherfucker just boots him across the face again and knocks that bitch out.

He kicks him so hard that blood is fucking spilling out.

Take note of the kicks I was on about before.

THEN THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS JUST GETTING BACK UP AGAIN IN THE BACKGROUND AND HOLDING HIS FACE LIKE "Ow, that kinda hurt." LIKE NO SHIT?

Once again, absolutely fucking clocked in the torso by Chuuya's kick and is just casually explaining it.

Then, of course, in the anime;

At this point, we do see him kind of grimace before he reverts to his normal deadpan state, to be fair.

Again, stating his disapproval for pain.

Very much so a hard kick, the fucking impact just sounds scary.

You can see the damage from it, yet this motherfucker still just remains as deadpan as ever in the face of pain and adversity.

Amongst all the other differences, this is one of them. In the anime, Dazai sounds more in pain and is shown to be affected more by when Chuuya kicked him than in the manga or the LN.

In the anime, it cuts out a lot of Chuuya just beating the shit out of Dazai lmao.

Like, this entire scene just gets me like "huh?" across all the different media's. We know how strong Chuuya is now, because he's honed it in the mafia and has gotten stronger. However, we also know how strong he is here. The fact that he's the strongest in the Mafia and the most skilled martial artist just shows his sheer strength, and despite him being only fifteen here, he's still fucking powerful, with or without his ability, which we see by when each time we see him fight against Dazai and how he easily overpowers him with sheer strength alone, it's just that Dazai outsmarts him in a battle of wits.

This is most certainly not me calling Chuuya dumb or Dazai weak, it's the fucking opposite and I hate people who deny it. Chuuya is not fucking stupid, he's so smart, he's a Port Mafia executive for a reason, it's just that strength is his strong suit. Dazai is not weak, he's just not as strong as some of the most skilled martial artists in the series. Dazai is fucking strong, again, he wasn't a Port Mafia executive for nothing. He can protect himself. Anwyays, sorry, it just irks me lol.

Anyways, my point is that Chuuya is fucking powerful, in my opinion, the strongest in the series. It shouldn't really be up for debate, not only is his ability powerful, but his physical strength surpasses almost all of the characters. Physical strength alone, he could easily beat Kunikida, Hirotsu (as we've seen), and any combat based character, maybe with the exception of Fukuzawa and Odasaku, however with his ability (again, exception of Odasaku) maybe he'd stand a chance. Because Fukuzawa's ability doesn't help him in combat, it helps him to be a leader. It's just that he is exceptionally proficient in martial arts. Anyway sorry this has turned into me just swooning about how powerful Chuuya is (I still stand by the fact that he wouldn't be able to beat Odasaku, simply because he can literally see the future. However, Corruption is literally OP as fuck, so maybe Odasaku's only option would be to run. Or just wait it out. I don't know, sorry anyway-)

MY POINT IS, CHUUYA IS FUCKING STRONG.

He literally is beating the shit out of Dazai, yet the only reactions we've seen from Dazai are him grimacing, or yelling out in pain when he kicked him real hard in the torso. All other reactions are just him with a stone cold expression in his monotone ass voice.

This was a bit long winded for one scene, I'm so sorry, I just fucking love this scene sm.

Anyways, I've always found Dazai's relationship with pain exceptionally bizarre, simply because of his underwhelming reactions to it, despite him exclaiming his distate for it multiple times over the course of the series. No other character has outright gone "you know I don't like pain, right?" except him. Why? It should be a natural human reaction/instinct to not really enjoy pain, except for when you do (you know what I mean obviously I hope) and so I just get confused when he announces it, yet doesn't move an inch or show any hint or trace of emotion. Pure baffles me, and I love to look into more.

Another scene of note, is when he's captured by the Mafia. Once again, he is provoking Akutaguwa into attacking him. Why? Why the fuck? I've literally always thought this since I watched that scene for the first time; just why? Why, for a man who goes on and on about how much he hates pain, does he provoke anyone and anyone who will clearly hurt him? When he's fighting against that big dude, he once again is provoking him, despite knowing the shit he'll go through. He provokes Chuuya, Aku, Kunikida, Fyodor, like? He goes into the situation with Fyodor knowing that he'll be fucking shot. He literally (fucking redacted my god) the nurse despite having a gunshot wound? Goes into the car knowing it will crash? Saves Sigma and crashes in an elevator? Even his fucking suicide attempts like, that shit's obviously not painless despite how much he wants it to be. In the BSD Drama CD, he literally fucking hangs himself in the room? He actively seeks out pain and puts himself in these situations and has self-destructive behaviour and tendencies despite his suicide. Anyways, sorry, the scene I was on about. When he gets captured by the mafia, and is literally getting smacked the shit out of by Aku (bear in mind that we didn't see that full scene from after Aku punched him, and whoever else went there to him, or whatever else happened. What happened when Kyouka took him, when he was chained up, etc. Also, the fact that it is a place used for torture, like. Anyways) yet still provokes him. For about three or something days that motherfucker was chained up and suspended like that's gotta hurt. Yet, he still provokes absolutely everyone around him and they end up inflicting pain on him. It just like... huh?

Anyways, I have so much more to say about this, but it's quite literally 4am and it's getting lighter outside. I have so so SO much more to say on this, though.

I just say way too fucking much lmao.

This is not going to make any sense to anybody else but me and for that I am sorry, and I apologise for me not being very concise or articulate. Any questions, don't hesitate to ask me and feel free to add your own brainrot to this :)

Have a lovely day/night! Thanks for taking the timr to read this bullshit fr <333

[celticbotanart]

Been feeling under the weather these past few days (hence why I'm a bit inactive here, as per usual); so let's go for another music post~

I've recently finished the season 1 of "Constellation", highly recommend it if you are into scifi, space/astronauts and time-alternative dimension-fuckery. The show is pretty awesome, and Noomi Rapace, who plays the protagonist is also a favorite of mine (and she's killing in this role as always <3).

I won't elaborate a lot, due to personal reasons but also bc spoilers, but the finale really made an impression on me and I've been thinking a lot about it. It also reminded me a lot of a couple of songs I know with these themes of "lost in space (metaphorically and literally)", longing, loss/grief and so on, and I want to share them with y'all~

1- "Moonhearts in Space" by Tina Guo ft Serj Tankian

You were undressed With your lies, I confess But I don't want to know 'Cause we're going to space Children, let's pretend We can see everything But we can't I can make the pain go away No, you can't

For context, Tina Guo is the original cello soloist in the soundtrack of the game "Journey", which is majorly cello all over it, as the "voice" of the main character. And also yes, that Serj Tankian (vocalist of System of a Down), haha. An unlikely pair that really pays off in this collab - Tina has a very intense and emotional playing style, and Serj really goes hard with sensitive, beautiful vocals as he does <3 I love how the lyrics are "all over the place", like someone's thoughts going from one thing to another really fast~

2- "Toki no Kioku" ("Memory of Time") by Yoko Kanno

Far away, long ago Wandering lost, so alone Passing eyes, parting sighs Some pains come through Where time flows, no one knows Pulsing dreams, barely seen In skies, thoughts of love go by

This is the ending theme of an anime / 6 episode OVA called "Please, Save My Earth" - the main plot is kind of inspired by the tale of Princess Kaguya (moon beings experiencing humanity). The story of "Please Save My Earth" tells about these teens who start to have dreams from their previous lives, where all of them worked together in a space station at the moon, trying to find a way of helping Earth and humanity, longing for it. It's a very strange anime, ngl, but I found it so captivating, from the detailed 90s anime style to the mysterious, introspective narrative. The music is by Yoko Kanno (most known for her work on Cowboy Bebop's OST), and "Toki no Kioku" really reflects the somber and melancholic tone of the story. I'm linking the version with the ending credits because I think the beautiful animation adds so much to the music's experience!

3- "The First Corpse on the Moon", by Lethe

Lethe is a project featuring Tor-Helge Skei and Anna Murphy (former Eluveitie, current Cellar Darling). No lyrics here because they are nowhere to find online, and I can understand only some bits of it (I have a hard time picking up English in singing). It's enough though, cause the title is pretty self-explanatory. Out all of these songs, it's probably the song that makes me think of "Constellation" the most (if you know, you know). I've always loved Anna Murphy's vocals and how she goes for darker, more introspective themes too, and this song is no exception

[bunbunpawz]

BlackLess Jirai Kei

So recently Jirai Kei has always had options for Blackless outfits but it is the easiest to add the black to make it Jirai Kei. So lets look at how it works, kind of? I am not 100% sure on it either and I think other people might be just as lost. 1. Tunic "one piece" + shorts. The best way I've seen a blackless Jirai Kei outfit was when they wore tunic + shorts "one piece" outfits where the main clothing items either have a pattern, or are just a slick single color. You can add black to it in the form of a pattern such as :

How ever You can also for an outfit that is completely blackless (except for maybe the shoes)

All of these would be considered Jirai Kei:

As you can see the pink and gray do have a black ribbon, but the blue has a white ribbon, and lately the pink has also been coming with white accesories. It is still recognized as Jirai Kei. Heck even without the black shoes, usually a full pink and white outfit or a blue and white outfit. Example of an all blue and white Jirai Kei

I assume the reason why Blue and White has been more in Jirai Kei lately is due to the rise of the fashion of "mizuiro" or "blue and white" style. It is seperate from the Tenshi Kaiwai as it is a different type of accesories, style and vibe, the only thing that is similar is the color. Its somekind of mixture between Tenshi Kaiwai with Jirai Kei. It is one of the reasons Jirai Kei has become and umbrella fashion, such as Gyaru with Gyaru categories. I assume we are heading that way with Jirai Kei. Here is a Blue X white X pink jirai kei outfit

The blue x white is due to popularity , and the pink bow is due to the black outfits + pink bow being popular as well. Pink x White, Jirai kei?

This one could either be Ryousan Gata Or jirai kei. Seeing as the model is usually Jirai kei and you can tell by her make up and overall style she is on the jirai side, this pink x white no black outfit works really well. Pink x pink x white Jirai Kei

Again we see the tunic + shorts be the best indication of it being Jirai Kei despite having no elements of black. It seems if you can capture the vibe it can be jirai kei regardless of what colors you use.

Over all it seems that white is the new black? or maybe pink is? In anyway, I have made a mess of a post, hope that was enjoyable for someone haha some people might not agree with the no black jirai kei but it cannot be stopped and you may take it as you would.

[kasienda]

So you reblogged a post recently about how you should never give unsolicited cc on ao3 fics and I 100% agree but I want to hear your thoughts on something.

Once several months ago I read a fic where the main characters were very misogynistic and the narrative was justifying their misogyny. I went into the comments and there were a few other people who pointed out the misogyny in the work. I replied agreeing and said it was kind of uncomfortable. The author replied basically saying "don't like don't read".

Ever since then I've wondered if I was being a jerk for making that comment. Is unsolicited cc justified if the author is misogynistic? Or should I have just ignored it and moved on to a different story? I've been wanting to ask someone else for a while now but I've felt kind of guilty about it

Hey anon!!

I don’t know if I’m an authority on this topic, but I’ve actually been in similar situations, and here are my few thoughts.

1) I don’t think the rules are different when I come across stories that don’t agree with my values. And I think that criticism will still come off as rude. And I think it’s up to YOU to decide if it’s something you care about enough to not care if it’s rude or not. And if it’s something you care about then, I don’t think you need to worry about hurting that author’s feelings. It’s definitely not worth your guilt for days or longer after the fact. Like it’s a can I live with being rude? Can I live with myself for NOT saying something even if it is rude?

2) on the other hand, saying something in the comments is not really going to change anything. There’s lots of people who are prejudice in some way and that’s always going to come out in their artwork. That’s the world they live in in their head. And hearing from a stranger on the internet is not likely going to change their minds or make this person suddenly reflective and self aware.

I have learned (by making a lot of mistakes! Haha!) usually that if I’m reading a story that I don’t like because the author and I clearly have very very different values, that I’m better off just not engaging. I hit that back button. Because if I do say something, and the author responds we usually just get in a back and forth and I get all worked up and angry, and they get all worked up and angry and double down, and it’s just not worth it.

Now I have made an exception before when it felt like the writer wasn’t aware of how it was coming across, and would want to know. But even then, I don’t phrase it as criticism! I usually say something like, “omg! This is so good! I have so many feelings! I can’t believe character x didn’t respect character Y’s no!! I can’t wait for Y to kick them into the sun!” And this works because a lot of the time the author DID mean to write it that way and this comes across as me engaging with their story instead of criticizing the story! And if they didn’t intend for x to be unlikeable in that scene, well, now they know that it landed that way anyway!

I will tell you that if someone has already commented about my issue, and the author has responded defensively or reflectively, I don’t need to say anything.

It also helps me to remember that stuff I find awful is always going to exist! Always! And it being awful is not a reason for it not to exist! Because there’s someone out there who is going to find some of my stuff just as awful! (I’ve even heard from some of them!). My comments and values are not going to stop that kind of stuff from existing. I respond by creating stuff that I wish existed instead. I call that spite fic! Haha!

I also want you to know that I’ve messed up before, I’ve been rude on purpose before (usually in defense of writers, but not always), I’ve apologized for my impact before when something didn’t land as positively as intended, and I’ve not commented on stuff that I abhored before. I’ve done it all! And from that, I’ve learned how I want to engage with fic and fandom. And I have gotten to a point where I almost never comment criticism to a writer I don’t know. But it wasn’t always this way. I LEARNED that by doing it other ways and it blowing up in my face. Mistakes are awesome like that because they are the biggest opportunities to learn.

So if you take one thing from this, I hope it’s this - your guilt is not needed. If it was a mistake, learn from it and move on. But only you can decide if it was actually a mistake or not.

[summercourtship]

I had to watch a 42 min video that explained the lore of “Fallout: New Vegas” to read (I have never watched/played Fallout before, except for the TV series) your Vulpes fic! and i have to say… it’s soooo good!!!! I have never heard about Vulpes before, he definitely has a hot voice… and face… and body… (what i’m trying to say thanks for introducing him to me) I’m so excited to keep reading it and seeing how their relationship goes from there! I loved the way you managed to portray Vulpes arrogance and Ena’s quick thinking skills, her shaving her head was so personal and emotional to me bcs (for me) hair is part of my personality, so her doing that was a very clear way of showing that now, she is forced to change who she is.

Also, that part where he looks at her hair and she’s self conscious about it, reminds me of that scene in STBOTDI where the reader is checking out Edward’s hair and he’s self conscious about it! Haha… but, yeah Vulpes was probably just seeing that she had a recent hair cut and thought “Huh… that’s abnormal…” (or not… i might be just dumb)

(Oh… and… I've said this in other Ask’s... but I feel obliged to repeat, English is not my native language, so… if some sentences seem strange and without punctuation it's because of that... the fact that I'm on mobile doesn't help either… I just don’t want you to think i’m a child that doesn’t know how to write)

your dedication is insane, thank you so much. like, i'm genuinely flattered that you went through that effort just to read my lil fic <3

i definitely radicalized at least three people to paul dano's riddler through STBOTDI so if i can do the same with this fic, that would just be really funny tbh. I love Vulpes (and I also love blowing him up in game but that's neither here nor there)

It's always a journey writing new characters- I'm always afraid that I end up writing the same characters over and over again. Especially with this fic being in a POV I don't write very often, I've been very nervous about how they're coming across. Thank you for letting me know that, if nothing else, I portrayed them how I'd hoped.

I actually went about six years without getting a hair cut (from my senior year of high school to last year). Even though I didn't go anywhere near shaved head, it was a big shift (even if I knew it was ultimately for the better). While Ena knows that shaving her head is necessary for her survival, it must feel much like the 'final nail in the coffin' for her.

Vulpes is suspicious of her from the get-go, so his thoughts when he was looking at her hair were definitely somewhere along the lines of "this hair has been cut recently, what does that mean?" It's all just evidence that he's gathering for her being not who she seems. (and the reason why he hasn't done anything about it will be revealed later in the fic. also he generally needs to not act for the fic to work idk)

Your English is really good! It gets the message across and I can understand it, which is what language is for. So I'd say you're doing a pretty good job! <3333

[azrielgreen]

Hello!! I have a question (:

How does your writing process change depending on whether you're writing fic or a published novel? Does it feel freeing to be able to post pretty soon after writing? Is it hard to try and write a published work without the love and support for each chapter coming out pretty soon? (does that last sentence make sense haha) Do peoples comments on your work change the way you write the following chapters?? Oh ! has anyone ever guessed the plot twist you planned, so you purposefully changed the plot twist to be different to what they guessed?

I think if i wrote fic i'd feel quite anxious that my fan base would love one chapter but dislike the next one i post, and I'm wondering how you move through that !

I don't know if you know her, but an old fic writer i used to love, called gallaplacidia, recently deleted her entire fic and podcast collection after writing a novel (she also encouraged people to download and share them before she deleted) and i wondered if that was something you would ever do ? If you published would your fic be something you'd prefer to be hidden from your new novel audience or would you enjoy people discovering both ?

sorry for any typos, and the amount of questions haha, I adore your writing and am so interested in the way your mind and writing process works. I just think you are so incredible !!!

What beautiful questions, thank you so much! So, to start with:

The writing process for fic VS published works is admittedly a little different in that there is a more intense editing process for published stuff, at least three rounds of it, and with fic I do one master edit before posting.

Posting after writing is an absolutely gorgeous feeling, and it's lovely to have people's enthusiasm and excitement for the next chapters. It's very rewarding, but I try not to let it ever become the reason I write. It's a lovely boost and especially worth the work when people resonate deeply with it and are generous enough to share that, but I really do always write for myself. There's so much I've written that I've never shared or posted, even fic. The thrill of working on a longer series that's my OWN original works is pure joy. For me, writing without support along the way (chapter by chapter) isn't hard but I do usually work on multiple projects so there's often some source of fun interaction.

Comments never really change the way I write, except in one rare case where a commenter made an observation early on in YD and something clicked and I thought "YES! OMG YES!" for a little plot element.

I actually LOVE when people can see plot twists coming. Those are my favourite kind where there's been foreshadowing and hints. I'd never swap out a twist if someone guessed it because that would be kind of cheating, and I adore that someone read the work closely enough to see a twist coming. I'd much rather the reader sees over the characters shoulder what they can't yet. Equally, I've never changed it TO the twist someone has guessed, even when it's been extremely cool (a few Prism examples for sure, people guess the most incredible stuff) although at times I've been sorely tempted.

Yes, I know a lot of published authors are encouraged to delete their fandom works but i won't be doing that. Instead what I'll do is what I've always said; orphan them. I will eventually orphan everything as I've always done. The stories will live forever on AO3 for anyone who wants them, just without my name on them. At this point I've orphaned everything I've ever written except for ST fics. They'll go too, when I can bear to let them go, but I'd never delete them.

I think ultimately, I want people to discover what they're looking for and what they like. I'd never want anyone to feel obligated to read something of mine just because they liked one story, you know? I won't deny or hide what I've written in the lasg and will always be so proud of what I created and the fun I had while doing so. I'm Azriel Green here and the books will say the same.

Thank you again for such lovely questions! ✨️💞💜💞✨️

[incandescentflower]

bad buddy fandom getting-to-know-you meme!

a getting-to-know-you meme for people to introduce themselves in the bbs fandom by @fiercynn

note: "fanworks" are defined here as pretty much everything people create related to a fandom, including but not limited to meta/analysis/discussion, gifs, fanvids/edits/fancams, filk, fanart, fanfic, fan food, fan crafts, etc. please include this note with the meme unless you have a different definition!

name and whatever you want to share about yourself

I'm MJ. I love writing fic and talking about shows with people. I write mostly BL. I am in a few fandoms, but bbs is definitely one I'm still writing (albeit slower lately).

this is crazy long so here's a cut -

when did you watch bad buddy/join the fandom?

I started watching after episode 2 aired. The name first turned me off. I didn't actually know who Ohm or Nanon was, lol I know right? I enjoyed some Thai BLs but none had hit for me. I saw a gif set of when Pat and Pran were looking at that empty dorm and Pat grabbed Pran right by the thigh and I was like, what the hell, I have to know what is happening there. Except, they were fooling me that this was just a light, silly, flirty show and hit me with such emotional resonance that I haven't freed myself yet. I wrote my first fic at the end of November 2021 and have been writing for them ever since.

favorite ship(s)

I am Pat/Pran through and through. I like other ships too but they are the reason I'm here.

favorite character(s)

I love both Pat and Pran. I like writing more from Pat pov because honestly Pran hits a little too close to home for me. :) All the side characters are fun and that is one of the reasons I love this show - Ink/Pa especially.

favorite episode(s) - these kinds of choices are just cruel but I would say episode 11. The raw emotions throughout it just killed me.

favorite scene (s) - rooftop aside, I recently mentioned the "thanks for trying to make this silly guy happy" scene from 11 as one of my favorites of all Thai bl (it's true), besides that, the scene when Pran brings Pat the drink, Pat tries to offer to say they aren't together anymore, the way Pran initiates them holding hands under the table and the way Pran knows Pat liked his drink less sweet. My heart tugs just thinking about it. <3

one thing you would change about the show if you could

more Ink/Pa would have been so nice and also, stop teasing us P'Aof and give us Wai/Korn

what are some of your favorite fanworks made by other people?

This is absolutely impossible. This fandom has so many wonderful creators in so many ways - art, fic, meta, edits. I think some things just stuck in the brain either because they were given to me because that's what I love about fandom most - the giving - or I was struck by them as they really hit my feels about the show at the time. but this is by no means an exhaustive list and I don't even know how I'd do that.

@geonbaeeee makes all kinds of amazing art, but I loved this one because they are some of my favorite scenes.

when I think of bbs art, I always think of this series. I don't even care about weddings tbh, but I just love how all their personalities are displayed here and I do think this is exactly what Pat and Pran would want haha

@funyasm made me this wonderful mood board for bbs as gift that was a big heart hug

@creativityobsessed wrote the coolest music meta about episode 5 and I still think about it sometimes.

I've been fortunate enough to be given two really wonderful gift fics. @galauvant gifted me Family Ties with some good Jindapat siblings content and triplelovescore gifted me a crack in the foundation with some excellent Pat hurt/comfort. Both were so good at giving the heart a little twist.

(if you create fanworks) what are your favorite fanworks that you’ve made?

I would say if you've only read one work in the fandom by me it's probably Up the Ante. And I do love it, but I think honestly, my favorite might be one of my least read - "I'm here, if you want me," which I wrote in the week between episode 11 and 12 in that "you had to be there" time in the fandom. It was a "if they really did break up let's fix-it" fic. I think it could have actually been a longer AU if I had any patience at all, but I needed soothing in the moment lol. Pat's love for Pran shown in the way we all know he would give it - as self-sacrificing as possible, and Pran's love of Pat shown through his music. It just felt right.

Anyway, I have others too. Honestly, it's like trying to pick a favorite child. Fanworks are works of love and each have their reasons for why I wanted to write them and why I love them.

a song that makes you think of bbs (the ones in the show don’t count lol) ha ha, look, this show has a theme song with multiple versions, a secondary song, another song that is now an in canon Pran-written song, Pat's ourskyy song, the og trailer song, the when we were younger instrumental, when the lyrical version is also amazing, and one of my faves is Keep Coming Back to the Start which we only hear for a tiny bit at the end of episode 6, but is an awesome song. but okay, yeah, beyond that and the instrumentals, I have a whole playlist that includes these and others. many songs come from some of the amazing edits out there. anyway, that's a long answer to mention "If our Love is Wrong" by Calum Scott, which I got from this edit (yes this is a cheat to link another fanwork)

idk anything else you want us to know?

I've met some really kind people through the bbs fandom and I really appreciate them very much. <3

I know that there are definitely people who used to be in bbs fandom not tagged in someone else's posts but I am not sure who still considers themselves in it. so this is a chance to say so. :)

[thelikesoffinn]

Do you play other rpg? It would be cool to read your opinion on cullen from dragon age Inquisition ❤️❤️❤️

Ooooh no, the question I've been afraid of ever since people started asking me stuff! For now I must out myself as someone who usually doesn't really...like classic rpgs?

Now, before we throw stones - let me explain!

I do like gaming and I do that a lot, but those things that are classically recognised as your standard rpg aren't really my cup of tea most of the time because, quite frankly, I. Get. Bored.

Really, I keep trying, but I'm rarely engaged. Like, I played the witcher II and III, oblivion, guild wars 2, teso and, as a wee lass, I played Fable. (And I think I did play Dragon Age Origins and Pathfinder but that was when I was a depressed teen in survival mode, so I'm not counting those for a hot moment because I remember nothing about them 👉🏻👈🏻)

In my experience, there's often a lot of running about and "go collect THIS in THREE VILLAGES AND EIGHT HOURS OF FOREST over and then come back!" and I can't deal with that sort of unnecessary grind that does nothing but make the game longer. (Now, we don't count cozy farming games or pokemon here, aight? Those are a different category in my book.)

Especially in new-ish titles where they, quite blatantly, go "yo okay you can only go HERE if you did all the side quests on that island over there otherwise you're too weak and that little wolf overhere will absolutely decimate you".

It's hard for me to stay engaged and actually finish the game, so they never quite managed to capture my heart, which is why I, at some point, stopped looking into RPGs as a whole.

(A few exceptions that I did enjoy were VTM Bloodlines and, more recently, Hogwarts Legacy.)

I'm more into narrower games that are a bit more story focused - like Stray Gods, omfg that one was so good - and don't let me wander off for 69 hours without to collect buckwheat for the farmers cousin twice removed, hehe.

(Btw, that's also why I'm so mad at the newer assassins creed games - ESPECIALLY Odyssey and Valhalla - because I absolutely love assassins creed as a whole, but I hate that they're so huge and open-worldy these days. Like, what is so wrong about a more story focused game? Let me enjoy this for a few hours and then back tf off please.)

The whole entire reason why I got into bg3 is basically the lovely @harcove because she was sharing a lot of clips and pictures - mostly of Halsin back then, haha - and I thought that game actually looked really fun so I decided to, potentially, throw almost 70€ into the fire and trust the opinion of someone I'd never talked to and here we are I guess 👉🏻👈🏻

(Haven't regretted it. I love bg3 dearly, and it's nice to find a proper rpg I actually do enjoy!)

So, to get back to your question: Unless you want me to tell you that Sebastian Sallow is actually a sweetheart if you look past his desperation or you want me to go on a rant of how amazing Malkavians are - which they ate omfg they so 100% are - or about how Geralt z Rivii is an absolute treat for anyone into the broody type, I don't think I can do a lot of talking about other rpg's, darling, I'm sorry!

[polyamorouspunk]

hi hello I hope you're day evening etc. is going alright. sending metaphysical pancakes or sth your way if you want them and if you're up to it maybe asking for. advice. in return. though I'm strongly assuming the only solution here is ✨communication✨ but unfortunately on occasion that is scary and hard to figure out

so. my partner wants to live with me. ideally for me to move in with them. which is great! I've been sorta dreaming about that for years! all good, right?

well. the thing is. we've been planning to live together in the past. repeatedly. repeatedly and not continuously because somehow the plans were always cancelled, and hate to say it but never from my side. I don't like pointing this out to them bc it sounds like I'm holding a grudge or sth, though they always had valid reason for backing out and obviously it's better anyway for both of us if they back out if they don't feel ready rather than having to deal with a difficult-to-reverse situation like sharing a living space. but nonetheless it has happened... 3? 4? times over the last... decade or so and I'm having a hard time trusting that this time it's not gonna suddenly pulled back again which would. y'know. hurt kinda.

additionally, we've both moved into our respective flats fairly recently (2 and 1 years aho respectively), and neither is really made for 2 people. theirs would work alright if needed but I'm fairly certain we'd want/need more space sooner rather than later, and I don't really want to move all the time since it's bloody exhausting. and like... we DO have pretty different idk styles of living? they're all about pretty places and a good level of tidiness, and I'm kind of a mess with stuff everywhere and mismatched furniture and decoration bc functionality trumps style and also I collect all the stuff that I like and display it regardless of whether it objectively looks "good". meaning, and in the past we'd always agreed on this, that it'd be good if we both did have separate spaces at our disposal, so the general living space can be nice and aesthetic and they can decorate their space how they like and I can contain my chaos in my own space without bothering anyone much. except now out of the blue they seem adamant to move in together asap and get really excited about it and I HAVE explained most of this but they seem insistent on making it work somehow which is. sweet, and I do love that apparently it's become so important to not be separated from me for long, but I have a hard time trusting that as well due to uhhh our relationship history idk.

it's just. it's sweet and I should be over the moon but I can't share their optimism regarding making it work (I don't want fighting to happen bc I left my stuff lying around too much) and I can't fully trust the whole thing so now it's just them being excited and me being sort of a buzzkill and I'm not really sure how to. address. all of it

sorry this got long haha please don't feel obliged to answer or anything, and take care!

I think your feeling are totally reasonable. I’ve had a partner who would always say they were going to come over and then something always came up so I just… stopped hoping. It’s soul-crushing! I think it’s a reasonable boundary to say “listen this has been an issue in the past and every time you say you wanna move in and then back out even if you have your reasons and they are valid it still hurts me, even if it doesn’t have anything to do with me”. I’m lucky that my ex and I both had similar living styles so the idea was when we moved in together like we would function well. We pretty much already lived together on weekends, so we knew we worked out well. I think having someone stay at your place/stay at someone’s place for a few days is a great test to see how you guys live together. But yeah, as someone who is poly, I’ve always been adamant about the fact I would want my own bedroom in a polycule situation. For a lot of reasons I need my own space in a shared living area. Things like that aren’t easy, and I’m not going to say “it’s just about communicating” because while it is yes it also seems like “maybe your partner needs to work on not getting your hopes up about things like that only to back track” (aka you establishing that boundary).

[jaelijn]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Was tagged by @quordleona03, thank you! It still blows my mind we're talking, haha.

I'd like to see this spread to the B7 folk, so if you've written for B7, even if you haven't in a while, consider yourself tagged!

How many works do you have on AO3?

227 - though as ever I need to remind people that this is not the total of my fics and certainly not the total of my fanworks (I have none of my art on AO3).

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

985.865 (I always have to do math here because I'm "co-author" on a fic I did the art for. So this is my *actual* words on AO3, not what AO3 says.)

CUT because oops it got long.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

At the moment, Blake's 7 only, unless you count Drake's Venture, but then again I have no active projects on that.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

This is in no way representative because my most kudos-ed fic will probably always be said "I did the art" fic that doesn't count, and my fandoms are vastly disparate in size, so my older SPN stuff is automatically up there. But anyway - Destinies Entwined (SPN), The Kindness of Strangers (SPN), There is no sin except stupidity (Canon Holmes - this one actually crept up there! I archived it, backdating, but people seem to have found and loved it!), Fields of Gold (SPN), and finally, With Every Single Word (B7) - and with the exact same amount of kudos, Bitter Days, and Sweet (B7).

5. Do you respond to comments?

Absolutely! Sometimes it takes me a while, but yes.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

*filters works by MCD warning*... I mean I've written a lot of bleak things, but not every MCD thing is necessarily bleak - on the other hand, I am probably forgetting some angsty ones that have no MCD. Most recently, or most in my memory, are a few of the Whumptobers, which always seem to bring out the darkness: Impending Destiny is up there, as is Bitter Almonds, Death's Kiss, perhaps, though that has some measure of catharsis, A Grave Man, Poisoned Apples. Then there's Earth, Earth Sector, Greyscale... Whatever you consider angstiest, it's probably a B7 fic. If you'd asked me to pick one, it'd probably be Impending Destiny because it hurt me to write and I feel it's underappreciated.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I'm in a similar boat as Quordle - these universes are angsty. Most of SPN ones are just... kind of even, all things considered, nothing to happy and nothing too sad, same with the Holmes stories, as they are all set somewhere in the middle and I can't give an Ending if there is more canon to go (and I rarely write AUs). But when it comes to B7, I've written some incredibly sappy stuff that doesn't really have "happy endings" because it's a fluff one-shot in the first place. Longfic with the happiest ending is probably Bitter Days, and Sweet, if only because it's a happy ending PGP. I do tend to prefer bittersweet endings to "fix everything" endings though.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I've got some... strange comments, but no outright hate, no, not on fic. But I also enable comment moderation on anything that might attract things, as a precaution. It hasn't been necessary, but perhaps people don't bother if they feel they might get moderated anyway. This is not an invitation to start sending me hate!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Not really. Being ace probably has something to do with that... I've found myself writing some intimacy, non-sexual or bordering on sexual kink or "draw the curtain" sex scenes lately, but I don't really get anything out of sex in fic for smutty reasons (and for a long time disliked pairing fic because it seemed so focussed on sex). I could see myself writing something more explicit if it served a plot point, but mostly I don't feel explicit detail is necessary for character development/plot progression. Intimacy, yes. But who cares who sticks what where and where the body fluids go?

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Yes, though I wouldn't say I do it *often* - I am generally more keen on conceptual mashups (what if B7 characters were in Victorian London) than pure crossover (what if B7 characters met Holmes characters), because I tend to be interested in single fandoms at a time rather than more at once. That said, I have done them. The most out there is probably my Doctor Who / Pirates of the Caribbean crossover, Dancing Star. I vaguely recall it being for a longfic challenge, but don't remember which. I'm still fond of that one and it's not even on AO3 (yet).

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of. (Don't do this.)

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I have been asked, and I think I had a Holmes fic translated once back in the LJ days? I'm not generally against translation if it's with my explicit consent, but there are some fics where I don't feel comfortable with it, often long or very personal work or stuff that I'm still working with. It helps if I already know the translator before they come to me with translation requests.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have made attempts, yes - some never worked out, some are yet to be published, others were collabs more in the sense of "let me add a sequel to your thing" rather than true co-writing. I have done a few fic/art collabs, on either side of the line, but I don't think there's anything currently on AO3 that has been co-written, unless you count my meta with @comarum.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

I am not going to make a claim on an "all time" favourite, particularly as I still feel I only found my niche with shipping fairly recently, and there are a few... fan-favourite pairings that I never really shipped but where I'm now wondering whether I would have jumped in more readily if I had been aware that this niche existed. Also is it still a ship if the pairing is canon, or is that just enjoying the original work?

My most long-standing active ship at this point is Avon/Vila, however.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

When someone says "doubt you ever will", I always immediately think of a project or two where I get defensive about the idea that I will never ever, even though I haven't touched them in decades. They are in long-term hibernation, but I balk at the idea of them being abandoned. That said, I have a good number of Red Dwarf fics that I'll probably never polish up. Dimensions was important to me, but this is where it'll probably end. Something about that fandom doesn't work for me.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I like to think: characters, dialogue, angst and long-form fics, though of course the short things will always outnumber the long ones because they take so long to write!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Finding endings for fics that are supposed to be short. Writing characters that aren't neurodivergent. Writing characters/relationships that aren't ace, though I feel I've been getting better with that. Anything that demands I actually pay attention to the characters' gender. Homonyms.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Depends on the extensiveness. If characters are always speaking a different language, sprinkling single lines in that actual language is weird and having the entire dialogue in a language that isn't the fic's is tedious, but if a few lines of dialogue are in a different language, sure. I feel the same way about strong accents.

Besides, I'd argue that characters in my current fandom aren't speaking English (the language I write in) in the first place, but a future common tongue I call Standard, so unless I want to invent a conlang, I'm not using their actual language anyway. On the other hand, rendering other languages in English can ignore some special characteristics of that language - something I specifically think about when I write about SIGN (my concept of sign language in the B7 universe). In general, I tend to emphasise readability over accuracy.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Depends on what counts. The first things I called fic were for SGA. Never published. The first published stuff was Canon Holmes.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

This changes constantly, and I also feel like I keep developing as a writer, so there are things I was very happy with at the time that I would not write that way now. They still were a favourite once - and in the same vein, if I didn't feel any of my recent stuff were favourites, I'd be doing something wrong with the craft. Consequently, right now I am very fond of Impending Destiny and my current longfic project.

[cellsshapedlikestars]

How’s the supervisor gig going?

I'm tired haha

Basically what happened is that a supervisor stepped down and they called me and "asked" if I wanted the position and it all got dumped on me really quick after that. There's a reason I've never applied for supervisor before, because I'm not a "work is life" person and I've only recently learned how to really manage my anxiety/depression and didn't want added stress. But here I am.

Honestly the job itself is easy enough, except that ex-supervisor left me with a huge mess to clean up, a brand new person to train, and a person who has been here for six months, but it turns out she basically gave up on him like 2 weeks in and didn't give him a fair shot so I have to retrain him. She's also causing problems by never coming into the office and I've had to go in every day this week because of it. I've got a 45 minute drive each way and I'm learning new things and fixing old messes and my brain hurts.

The good news is I've managed in a week to clear up a lot of her work and even started helping the other supervisor with his (which he was behind on because it turns out he was doing the ex-supervisors work on top of his). So far he has offered to drive out to PA to hug me because I'm actually working, and our department manager told a different super that X stepping down & me taking the job was "like second Christmas", so that feels very validating. And I got a really good raise, which also helps of course.

Anyway. I haven't had much time for anything this week (I haven't gone grocery shopping & you should see the amount of take out I've ordered), but I promise I'm working on the next chapter of tmg. Maybe this weekend?

I just got home and am going to take a nap now lol

[doodle-pops]

Hii mina! Mae-duh-whores anon here if you remember me! First of all sorry for the thirst tweet ask that turned out to be a request, I really hope that wasn't annoying!

And second I read the elves reading thirst tweets posts you linked in the response and please they are so funny,, exactly how imagined they would be like !! the obliviousness yet also the awareness that they're indeed hot, yep they'd definitely react like that!

also can i just say thank you again for introducing me to silmarillion and fuelling the obsession, it's literally all I've been thinking for the past few months and honestly, loving every second of it! well except for when I'm reminded of what actually happened to all them but i try surpress that shit because who'd wanna think bout that lmao

oh also, I would like to really thank you for the underrated character event! after reading the books and fanfictions i fell in love with all those underrated characters,, i was so sad when I found out there isn't much work of them on here but im really greatful for this event! they deserve all the love!! and so far I've enjoyed all the recent fics and I hope you write more for them in the future! I honestly wish I knew how to write properly, i would have loved to participate in this event because i have so so many ideas and I can plot and everything but the actual writing and dialogue part, not my strongest suit haha

Why don't you just come here so I can just give you a massive squeeze 💕💕💕

Ah, I'm so happy that I've decided to do this event. That was my initial reason to begin with. I would say, “What if someone ended up liking these characters and came looking for content and found none or little?”, which motivated me to pursue the event, and it thrills me to learn that you're enjoying it! I don't know if I'll do this event again since the purpose was boosting their content to make them less underrated, but if they still are after all this and more, then I'll do it again 😁

As for the Silm and our favourites, if you don't think about all the horrible stiff that happened to our favourites, do you really love them? You gotta remember their pain and hurt with them, it's about creating a bond and loving them more 🥲. And remembering all the stupid stunts some of them did smh.

[sweetdreamsjeff]

dara's story...

Okay, so I've been informed that you guys do want to hear my long "how i met jeff" story (stories), so here goes.

My friend Fatin (also a subscriber) and I decided to go to a Velocity Girl show at a place called Maxwell's in Hoboken, NJ (go there if you're ever in the area-great place! wanted to move in there for awhile). A band with the name Sunny Day Real Estate was opening up for them and I clearly remember Fatin and I standing outside of Maxwell's looking at the list (they posted the list of upcoming shows on the outside double doors) to see who was going to open up for VG now that we had the tix, and laughing at the name because it sounded so funny! Sunny Day Real Estate! Haha!

Well, we were excited for the show anyway (we were-or at least I was-obsessed with going to as many shows as possible and seeing any band that I'd barely heard of). I was doing a 'zine at the time with my writings and poetry which had my name and address on them. I brought a camera to the show so I could take pix for the next issue of my 'zine which I had decided to make less personal and more music related b/c no one wrote to me (well not no one as you will see). So I went into the show and was won over by the amazing SDRE! I didn't even want to see VG after that (well, actually I did b/c I was curious to see them live). I couldn't believe how the band just hypnotised me! I understood sex, drugs and rock & roll, or I had thought I did, but I had just been thinking of it in a Mick Jagger and Madonna wink wink type of sexuality. I was amazed by how this band had just so much sexuality to them that was not forced. It very much had to do with a love of music on theri part and a love of performance. They were definitely the type of band that I think get off from performing. So I took a lot of pictures, especially of the lead singer just because he was also quite amazing, he was right in front of me, and yes, because he was (and still is) gorgeous.

Well, they ended and VG came on (actually i sat next to Sarah Shannon on the stage for like 5 minutes and couldn't think of a single thing to say-still thinking of SDRE I think) and then they were done (not even half as amazing as SDRE-sorry). I talked to Jeremy a bunch afterwards b/c this girl named Lizzy started talking to me b/c she wanted to get copies of the pix I was taking and so I was talking to him "for her." Well after I talked to him, and Dan and Nate And William (Wm. is a flirt but really cute in person and very funny to watch while drumming-look at all the faces he makes) I went outside the concert hall (there's a restaurant there too) and started talking to some guy along with my friend when who should I spy not ten feet away but Juliana Hatfield. So I went over to talk to her. I wasn't like "wow!" b/c I had just met Evan D. recently at a signing (so cheesy I know, but hey I couldn't resist. He signed a picture I drew of him. We were the first to see him with buzzed hair. Real reason it was buzzzed? He and a friend got drunk and decided to buzz his hair-May 17 was the day of that signing, the day before he went to Cali for the MTV Beach thing)) and I actually disliked Juliana a lot at that point b/c she had recently been on the cover of Spin (long hair, white background) and she had said that she knew of no girls that could play guitar well and my feminism was offended. So I went up to her with the attitude of "oh well, another famous person to add to my collection." She was nice though and she took my 'zine and I asked her if she was here to see VG and she said "No, SDRE." Well, that was about it. Imagine my surprise when one day my mom hands me my mail and the return address says J. Hatfield. No, I'm not kidding. She asked me for copies of the pix of Jeremy which I sent to her and she wrote a lovely little note in reference to my 'zine. Suckered! I liked her now! (I also reread that article and she said "...except Bonnie Raitt, who was the female I had been thinking of, and the only female I could think of so my feminism wasn't offended anymore as much as shocked at the truthfulness of the statement). So I gladly sent her the not-so-great pix (forgot the flash at home-oops) and a letter. She did write back a thank you note. So when I found out she was having a show on June 2nd, 1995, at Roseland Ballroom (in NYC) I got tickets and so did Fatin. Last minute (and I really mean last minute), I called and asked for a back-stage ticket and she gave me one!! I guess it was a return favor. (I forgot to ask for one for Fatin but more on that later). I was ecstatic.

Oh yeah, opening for her was this guy named Jeff Buckley whose picture I had seen on the cover of this really thick magazine whose name I can't remember (not something that's a well-known magazine), and Fatin had told me about him so I was curious and excited to see him too. We got to the show and I stood on line (Fatin with me) for the backstage pass and who should happen to be just a few people behind me but Mr. Dando himself who I had a big crush on at that time (it was b/c Kathleen Hanna of Bikini Kill, the only other one to write me back about my 'zine after I met her after a Rock For Choice show and got backstage to ask her to speak to the newlly formed Gender Equities club at my school and gave her my 'zine too, sent me a 'zine that she was doing then -I think- about her love of Evan Dando and why and other things in her life that I won't mention). Fatin told me to go up to him but I couldn't and I didn't want to lose my place in line. Besides, if he was going to be backstage and I was too, we'd get to talk later.

So we went through the line and (the ticket guy was the same guy who had been at another show that I had free tix to but had forgotten my ID but had let me in anyway so this time I showed him my ID and said "see, I wasn't lying!") went inside, and I went to the platform stage for those with backstage passes and poor Fatin was on the side (I'm so sorry Fatin!) I watched Jeff's show and liked it but I wasn't totally paying attention to it b/c some women invited me to sit in a seat until their friends got back, and one of those friends was Janet Billig (she used to manage Nirvana, Hole, Evan, Smashing Pumpkins and signed them all-I think. She's now Vice-President of Atlantic Records at 29 and she's the one who Courtney Love said at one of her shows a couple of years ago, -paraphrasing here- "Don't fuck with Janet Billig cuz I'll have to fuck with you!" or something like that. There was an article about her in Spin I believe like 3 years ago - it was on my friend's wall), so I was really excited and nervous because this blond woman had come over and I had thought it was Janet so I kept switching my attention between her and Jeff (wasn't Janet by the way).

At the break between bands I went to the bathroom which was backstage (ran into Lewis Largent who used to host 120 Minutes before Matt Pinfield, who I had met at a previous show. Really really nice guy but very shy. He remembered me though!). Well, everyone went downstairs too, so that was weird and cool. I don't remeber this period to well but I do remember seeing Jules before she went on. After the bathroom I got on the corner of the side stage platform (can't really describe it sorry, but it was a very good spot to see the show) and danced through Jules entire set with my new friend Cristy (who looked a bit like Jules and was from Texas and her boyfriend who looked like Thurston Moore and worked at Reprise). After the set and before the encore I went back to the pit where Jules had just come off stage (was very easy then-they have since closed up that area :0( ) and watched her and Evan cutely give each other a big smooch (no tongue. by the way, Evan had a girlfriend who was tall and had brown hair and glasses and I think was his girlfriend. Sorry she wasn't the groupie type and not Mia Kirshner with whom Evan had just gone to her (MK's) opening for that movie she was in where she played a stripper who dressed in school girl outfits who this guy became obsessed with. haven't seen that girl -not MK- since) before Jules went back on for the encore.

After the show I wheedled the guard to let Fatin come backstage (right before that who should I knock into but PAUL MCCARTNEY!! and HIS WIFE! NO JOKE!!) even without a pass, and they let her. I was planning on taking her to meet him b/c I knew it would make her REALLY happy.

Well, we found Jeff looking passed out and sweating right by the stairs off the platform that go towards the backstage but not in the downstairs backstage part sitting on the floor drinking a water bottle and talking to some girl standing up. I said "Good show" he said "Thanks" and then I asked him if he knew where Jules was and he said probably downstairs. I said thanks and we left. Fatin couldn't say anything (I don't think) and at that moment I decided he was pretty cute and talented and I liked him too. Oy vey. Well, we went downstairs and looked for Jules and she told me about SDRE being on the Batman Soundtrack and I gave her my new 'zine issue and she said thanks and went back to talking to her friends. She is very shy and not too comfortable with people she doesn't know, but when she's with her friends she's really comfortable it seems and outgoing and fun. Well, Fatin and I floated around like lost (if you don't know anyone in the biz- and I do mean the business side of it, it can be really uncomfortable and boring) souls, although I talked to Tanya Donnelly (wearing a very cute and cool outfit I remember. Very nice WOMAN, 5 feet tall just like me). I then remember going over to wear Jeff was talking to some chicks with Fatin and we talked to him, standing not two feet from him. He was flirting completely. He gave me a water bottle (he was drinking one too and I asked him where he got it and he just handed me one. I had forgotten that Fatin and I had bought one earlier but oh well, I'll take a water bottle from Jeff anytime, even if I'm drowning), and I lit a cigarette (Newport). He said "Ooh, Menthol" and shared the cigarette with me!! A little later Evan Dando came by and wanted a cigarette and looked to Jeff who looked at and pointed to me and I gave Evan a cigarette and lit it for him off of mine! It was a miracle I seriously believe that I actually lit the cigarette and not something else! Hell, with Jeff and Evan standing around paying atttention to you, wouldn't you have missed? I didn't thank g-d!)

Well Evan left us and he said something really weird like "yeah, i pretended i just did coke" or something like that. don't quote me on that ok? (Evan has a really weird sense of humor. You know that sense of humor where you know you should say something in response but you just aren't on that wavelength yet and you just don't get where they are coming from -much like my sense of humor, which is a big part of the reason that Fatin and I became friends- well that's what Evan's sense of humor is like). The other two women who were hanging in our little circle I don't remember much except one who was tall, thin, black, and looked REALLY familiar, but I still don't know where from! No she wasn't a model (although Melissa auf der Maur was there too - and flirting a bit with Jeff or trying to be near him so no Courtney didn't lie that she had a crush on him - and I knew she looked really familiar but I couldn't figure it out where I knew her from so I thought she was a model till it dawned on me who it was). Well, this particular girl had a broken arm and I asked her how it happened and our Jeff quiped "Masturbating accident." Heehee. He's got a great sense of humor I think.

Well, guess what happened just after that? The clock struck 12:30am (Fatin and I both had Achievement tests to take the next morning!! argh! so we had to be out of there by 12:30) and my MOM came down!! No joke (unfortunately)!! You should have seen the look on Jeff's face when he saw her (and mine!) We had to leave and so I like turned and grabbed his arm with my hand behind my back and said (somewhat jokingly) "No! Don't make me go!" And so we left. I don't blush but I sure as hell was after that (well, it wasn't as bad as when my dad came looking for me after the Pearl Jam show-but that's a whole 'nother story!). Oh, my mom told me later that when she tried to get in (we had agreed to meet at the front doors but they were locked so my 'rents went around to the back doors where a shitload of kids were standing outside with guards and a security block thing, and the guards originally wouldn't let my mom in but then she said that she had a sixteen year old in there -whoa! I was 16!?!? forgot about that!- who had to take the SAT's tomorrow and he let her in - why?!?! - to the jealousy of all the kids outside! When she went downstairs, somebody looked at her and said "uh oh party's over" and my mom replied "do I look that much like a mom?" to which they then replied "uh huh!"). Then we went home and I've been unhappily ever after ever since. Until Lollapalooza.....

But that's Part 2 of the "How I Met Jeff Story" which I'm going to have to write another time because I've been happily procrastinating for way too long now. The last of the name-dropping of that night is that I think Eric Erlandson was there too but not with Drew and only for a short time if he was.

write me if you have any comments, questions, etc.

love to everybody, dara

[lifeswack]

I made a small analysis on the recent drdt episode!

(heres the link to the google doc: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1jvUy2txjIYfixGA_ortVeSpr1457b5GHb5hsH78vP8A/edit#heading=h.vp6z4l5f7buz ) and now heres what i have so far

insane literature girl (david) analysis

Peeps i used:

 @nsmiaumiau,@moonzeiw

the link to my notes, its very scrambled so beware: 

The Morse code at 4:21 translates to:

"You still believed in me despite everything I've done, but that's just a fantasy isn't it? I simply chose to believe you did. Afterall I'm incapable of being somebody without you

That morse code and the scene at 2:24 are bothreferring to xander, the one at 2:24 is obvious, you can even see david referring to xander as “important” this fact alone could solidify that the person david is referring to at 4:24 is xander however there are still a few more people who it could be 

The reason both instances HAVE to refer to Xander is that David was never really close to anyone else. The only two people it could have possibly been are Hu and Arei, but through a process of elimination, we can rule out Hu since she's still alive. Even if you say Hu no longer respects david, While the Morse code at 4:21 uses past tense, it's safe to say Hu was never very close to David in the first place. Now, let's talk about Arei. She's a bit harder to debunk, but she's also eliminated for the same reason. Arei was only on good terms with David for about a day and a half, and that time was spent focused on her. Additionally, David wouldn't really feel like himself around Arei due to her vulgar and foul mouth, constantly berating everyone she knows. Although she may have changed slightly, she remained aggressive. However, to give Arei some credit, she knew David's secret, but I'm eliminating her as a possibility anyway. Xander is the only person we have confirmation (from 2:24) of being important to David. David even stated that Xander was a sort of role model to him, as Xander represented everything David pretended to be. But I do believe they were genuinely close; I mean, come on, guys, the bromance is there!

Before I present my own theories, let's debunk a theory:

 that David manipulated or asked Xander to kill Teruko. I find this possibility plainly impossible (haha, Tsumugi reference). David is well aware of the consequences of murder and was genuinely distraught and upset when Xander died. Moreover, I don't believe David was the one who said "I have to kill Teruko Tawaki" at the beginning of DRDT; it is widely accepted to be Xander, but I have my own issues with the Xander theory.

Once again, huge thanks to @nsmiaumiau – she, he, they???? – for being a tremendous help throughout this.

The video contains word searches for every character except David, with text aligning to each character. Although some don't seem to match perfectly, we can use the descriptions as our best bet to assign the numbers to characters. Many of them appear nonsensical, like Hu's crossword being "???: Go and cry," Julia's being "Do it like that lets live together!" and Nico's being "even if you try to think idk!!! (Lmao)." I noticed that these texts are either sarcastic or ominous. Let's take Nico's, for instance; it's very sarcastic and oddly worded, so I'll try to make it less headache-inducing: 

some of the word searches mention this mysterious (????) person, and it could either refer to David himself or the red-haired girl who keeps appearing. I'll do my best to make sense of everyone's crossword and figure out their significance.

Crossword analysis

(desclaimer despite coming tpo the conclusion these are davids thoughts i still analayze some of them as random strings of text and not thoughts)

1. Xander - His crossword is odd, saying "I have no idea if it counts (the world of abnormal sentient dance)." All of these make my head hurt, and this one takes the cake, but it does bring up the word "sentient," which I find interesting. Since I've already deduced these are David's thoughts, I'm going to have to look at it from that lens. The part "I have no idea if it counts" is what intrigues me. Like I said before, the Morse code at 4:21 is referring to Xander, so it might be David saying "I have no idea if Xander cares"??? It's definitely a shot in the dark, but I'm doing my best, okay!! The phrase "(abnormal sentient dance)" could be interpreted in several ways. I see it as an odd conversation, think of it as the phrase "the conversation has a mind of its own" – add "abnormal," and it would be akin to an odd conversation or if you add "dance," an odd situation.

2. Rose - Her crossword states "I think, therefore I am": This phrase is a famous philosophical statement attributed to the French philosopher René Descartes. In Latin, it is "Cogito, ergo sum." The phrase expresses the idea that the act of thinking itself proves one's existence. It's a foundational element in Descartes' philosophy and is often seen as a starting point for understanding one's own existence and consciousness.

"(confused)": The addition of "(confused)" after the famous philosophical statement adds an intriguing twist. It suggests that even though Rose acknowledges her existence through her thoughts, she experiences confusion or uncertainty about her identity or reality. The inclusion of this word creates an interesting contrast between certainty (thinking) and doubt (confusion).

3. Charles - The phrase "if you doubt" further proves that Charles is not one to accept things without scrutiny. This trait is vital in chemistry, as it involves testing hypotheses and theories through experimentation and analysis.

The second part of the crossword, "brittle things are broken," indicates Charles' knowledge of material properties, including fragility and how certain substances react under specific conditions. As an expert chemist, he understands the importance of understanding the characteristics of different substances to handle them safely and predict their behavior accurately. But that's just a literal analysis. In Charles's own words, "are you really gonna take that at face value?" So if I were to be crazy and analyze this, I would probably think this is referring to people. Maybe Charles doubted his brother at a certain point in time, and it led to his brother's death? :33

5. Arei - I think it's partially straightforward. The last time Arei got any major screen time was before she died. She cried to David about how she wanted to change and be a good person, questioning why Eden was allowed to be a good person without anyone taking advantage of her. Additionally, she was constantly harassed, assaulted, and verbally abused by her sisters, which resulted in her crying. This is likely what the crossword is referring to.

6. Ace - His crossword says, "'Right now, why do you go insane?'" Again, fairly straightforward. If I had to take a guess, it would be from how malnourished our poor boy is. His motive secret literally was "your body's falling apart, and yet you still refuse to eat." He's probably starving, and some of it is just because he's a hot-headed asshole.

7. Arturo’s is “mind exercises 1 2 3 4!” which confuses me just as much as xanders confuses me, if it were any other maybe i could have come up with something but this really just dosent fit him, he’s a cosmetic surgeon not a psychiatrist, since we know very little about Arturo im assuming this has something to do with his obsession with J, perhaps he finds J’s situation mentally stimulating?

8. Since julias the visual affects artist the part where it says “do it like that” maybee its referencing her more creative side an a way for things to go her way?

The second part, "let's live together," is intriguing and could imply several things. It might suggest her wish for harmony and collaboration in the theater world, emphasizing the importance of teamwork to create a successful production. Alternatively, it might hint at her vulnerability and a desire for deeper connections with others, as she tends to appear tough on the outside but is sensitive on the inside.

Considering her disdain for actors, the phrase "let's live together" might also indicate her longing for a community where egos and spotlight-hogging behavior are minimized, promoting a more supportive and cohesive environment in the theatrical world.

9. I think i already explained what i think of nicos crossword but ill explain again for you dimwits! (haha miu reference)  it's very sarcastic and oddly worded, so i tried to make it less head ace inducing but heres my raw unfiltered analysis “even if i try to think, idk! (lmao)” i think its still david being sarcastic, and he’s referring to one specific moment, when nico tried to kill ace, davids telling him he didint think and that even if he did think he’d be too blinded by rage