#this is the only bathroom ive like Ever put effort into lmao

[xiuxxvisims]

the lornin’s have moved into an apartment downtown

[nezhcs]

what happened?

Im lazy to answer it separately so @thesexypanda-boo come here

rant ahead (mentions of panic attacks and my bitchy parents)

Uhm so basically my mom's been pissed at me the whole day. I knew she was going to shout at me its just a surprise that she waited that long lmao. Anyway it was the usual stuff you dont even come out of your room or spend time with family. I've only given you a phone and laptop cause i had to but it cant be used like that. So she'd asked me pehle what im doing in my room all day and i said reading (lie lmao) and she's like you can read out and im like but its on the laptop. Then she brought that up saying that what happened to the physical books and im like ive read them, i only bought the books that i like. (she didnt believe me cause god forbid you trust your child) and then she's like padhai ka you dont even do the p. Anytime i ask you youre like reading or hw and then she's like utthne ka bhi time nahi hai so i said that i was up at 8 today (which i was, i had a test) and i told her i had vivas and she's like idk you didnt tell me anything (again its not like she should trust me or anything /s) and i told her i'd put an alarm and she's like good do that every day for the rest of your life. Its not my duty to wake you up, i do it cause i want to (the only reason i even put an alarm cause is cause she keeps on bitching about having to wake me up) and then she asks my dad whether i spend time with him cause she's never seen it. Whatever whatever that happened and then she moves on to the work that i was supposed to be helping her with and she's like have you even done anything? Youve not shown me anything. Either send how much ever youve done or i'll get it done on my own again like ma'am do you even know that your husband basically invalidated all the work that i did that *you* approved of and told me that he'd make me do it again so excuse me if i dont feel like putting in more effort. On top of that i was suppressing a full blown panic attack like i couldnt breathe and i was gasping for air and stuff but ofc they didnt notice i mean they dont know shit about what their own daughter is feeling or what she likes or what she does. Anyway i came to my room then, panicked, deleted my tumblr and discord and then i tried studying except i was having a panic attack at the same time, i almost fainted but then i had some water and then i went to the bathroom and cried for like half an hour straight while feeling like im faking it for attention the whole time cause there are stupid voices in my head that refuse to leave me alone. I came out and tried like writing my feelings down to tell my parents except thats when my sisters came home so i never even ended up doing that.

My parents want me to spend time with family when it stopped feeling like a family for me a long time ago. All they do is invalidate my feelings and make me feel like i cant trust them and then make me feel like shit when i dont trust them. So yes everything is great, im great

[scandeniall]

wash day head canons (black!reader)

kuroo, sakusa, atsumu, iwaizumi x black f!reader

Now this is hella self indulgent for my fellow black bbys on here with 4 of my top 5 boys helping on wash day. Now reminder babies, our hair is beautiful. It doesnt matter if your 3a high porsity or 4c low porosity (like me oop). And any of these clowns would be blessed for his bby to have your hair!

Kuroo

He’ll help if you ask. You just want company? He got you. He the bf you ask to go get the scissors so you can cut the braids shorter and you actually trust him to not cut your hair.

Hes gentle when taking the braids out, not really commenting on how dirty it might be

But hes ass at the pre-poo stage

Like this mf will MISS sections

And will be like “damn thats crazy my bad” when you tell him. But it happens EVERY time 

He lets you wear one of his tshirts the first time you ever spent your wash day with him, and it just becomes your official wash day shirt

He the bf that’ll go get you food if your hungry, bc theres no way in hell youre going out with only half of your braids in

Hes sweet though and kisses you before he goes.

He’s annoying and like “let me hop in the shower w/ you” (partly to see you naked, partly bc them products smell good)

I can just see him as the type to be deadass mesmerized by shrinkage and the type to just play with the bouncy coils

Now listen, he is NOT washing my hair but he can look. He’d try work through sections but will tangle tf out of your hair

Anyways, once your’e out at this point hes tired (shit me too), so just kinda vibes out in the same room while you do your hair

Once he asked to help you post wash, and you say why not, and he go to apply product and he will be the “quarter size amount” type

“Kuroo- what are you doing with that”

“Uh about to put it in” and he look at you like DUH

“Damn my hair about to be dry af” you have to help that boy out. 

But he also the type to know how expensive hair products are bc he listens to you when you talk and is just like ????

Idk i love kuroo, he wouldnt be terrible help, but not professional helper status

Sakusa

Now listen here. This mf is NOT helping with the takedown process. He saw you do it once and saw the built up dirt and said “yeah ima head out”

Plus, he’s not about to touch all that fucking braid hair

You: Yoomi do you wanna help me-

Him- no

But alright once you're actually washed he’s better. 

Since wash day take the whole day, and if its a day where he doesnt have v-ball stuff hes more than content to just sit and turn on something for you both to watch for the day.

Your arms hurt from detangling post wash? Yeah you not about to rest your wet ass head anywhere

He hates the feel of your products, but if you ask with the right look and tone of voice (grossly sweet), he’ll take over a section with product application

Apply generously? He got you.

If the product works for his hair too, he IS the type to buy products for the both of you

Anyways back to him helping post wash/condition. Hes good at finger detangling

Yall know i hc him as having a secondary love language of touch-

Anyways on that note, at that point he’ll let you sit between his legs in front of your big ass floor mirror and yeah when he feeling extra soft and domestic, kisses on your temple

You put him on to bonnets lets be real here (he got a collection bc he washes his way more than you do LMAO)

Atsumu

Now hes USELESS

Type to tease and be like “this mean I can go out to the club without you”

He would not help your ass at all during the takedown

Once he tried (and actually tried) and almost cut your real fucking hair

“C’mon babe, I won’t do it again”

“Absolutely not”

Another “let me join you in the shower ass mf”

He’s hot so um yeah ima just get on my knees at this point. He don’t even gotta ask

“This is a good time for ya to let yer deep conditioner sit”

“Don’t tangle my hair even further” you gotta redirect his hands though

Anyways when thats done, don’t trust him with a comb near your scalp at ALL

He doesn’t mean to be rough, but this man is impatient

Hes annoying and just sits on the bathroom counter while you just going through it

The type to mess around with your products

Another boy you put on to the magic of scarves and bonnets

His shit already deep fried with that dye and he cant afford more damage

Hes headass and wants yall to have matching ones

Iwaizumi

Yeah hes the best

Whatever you want baby, he got you

You can trust him with the scissors

Once you told him about the importance of being gentle when taking the braids out and stuff, he makes a conscious effort to make sure hes gentle

You say you can’t hang out bc its wash day? Yeah he’s right there with you

He’ll gather your stuff for you if you asked. Wide tooth? He got it. Spray bottle? check

If you listen to music while you take your hair down, he’s just vibing, whether its with him helping or keeping you company

Now I hate doing my hair and would be a simp for someone who does like this, so yeah lemme get a distraction smooch

He indulges for a little bit, maybe a few little touches and gropes until

“You’re gonna complain all night if you don’t get this done today”

Then back to business

He wont hop in the shower with you unless you ask

But once you come out with your hair mask sitting and shit, he’d have a snack for yall

Scalp massages!!!!

He got the oil, the love for you and everything

He’s just the right amount of rough that it feels good, but not to where it’d damage and frizz up

Iwaizumi perfect boyfriend thank u

a/n: now this sucks and ive never written actual hq headcanons, but i dont have the brain power to write full lengths rn and this is a mess of words and i want someone to luv me and my hair LMAO. (i was gonna do akaashi bc he rounds off my top 5 but im lazy). Also idk i wanted to write something and had ZERO ideas

[likelightningafterthethunder]

Like Lightning After the Thunder: Chapter One: Damned Smile

Fic Summary:

His breath wavered as he stared into Katsuki’s eyes. He knew he could get out if he tried. He could knock Katsuki out, hope that no one else would find them, and run back into the shadows where he belonged. Katsuki may have had him pinned down but he was in Denki’s range now and it would take little effort to send a charge through Katsuki to paralyze him temporarily.

It would take barely any additional effort to kill Katsuki.

As the sparks began to charge, lighting up the air around him, Katsuki refused to back down.

–

Katsuki always knew he was destined for great things.

He didn’t think he’d have to turn his back on all he’s ever known to get there.

Rating: T

Warnings: Eventual major character death, implied/referenced child abuse, psychological trauma

Other Tags: Bakugou Katsuki/Kaminari Denki, slow burn, alternate universe - canon divergence

Read on Ao3 (links to corresponding chapter) or read below

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter | Fic navigation to read the fic on tumblr 

--

Even years later, that damn smile haunted his dreams.

There was absolutely no reason for him to still think about the event. Everything had been taken care of when it had happened― injuries were treated, authorities alerted, information secured, and a press conference to tie it all up in a big red bow. There were no loose ends, no surprise second coming, no physical reminders of what happened lingering in his daily life. Katsuki would have labeled it as done, dealt with, and no longer relevant, shoving it aside in his memory so he could focus on actual important shit.

Except his mind had different plans.

When he was lucky, he could completely forget about the event for months. Other times, his dreams would be filled with nothing but that damn smile, taunting him with its silence. He could usually predict when the dreams would come― the anniversary of the event for example― but other times, it seemed like anything could trigger the memory. He once saw a bright yellow balloon and for the rest of the day, every time he closed his eyes he saw that damned smile, never wavering despite the curses and insults Katsuki spewed.

He wanted to forget it. He wanted so desperately to forget it. For the image to erase itself from his mind, for it to take the feelings away with it. He could deal with the anger, he could always deal with the anger, but when his memory reminded him of the wave of hurt and betrayal that nearly blinded him…

When his alarm jolted him from his sleep and freed him from the smile, he couldn’t get out of bed fast enough. He woke up drenched in a cold sweat, sheets singed and smoking lightly as he unclenched his hands, and Katsuki was, for once, very relieved that not all of his sweat was explosive. He slapped the singes a few times to ensure that all of the embers were put out before heading for the bathroom, cursing under his breath as he flinched at his own reflection in the mirror.

There was nothing particularly wrong with his appearance, if you didn’t count the dark circles under his eyes from a fitful night’s sleep or his clammy skin, but after being plagued by the smile, Katsuki could barely look at himself. His reaction to the smile made him feel weak, like he couldn’t handle himself and that there was something wrong with him. It was just a smile after all. There was no reason for him to react to it like a nightmare, no reason for him to lose sleep over it or to feel overwhelmed by emotions at the thought of it.

Yet when he saw the smile and saw how the corners of his mouth were tugged a bit too tight, how his eyes were open a bit too wide, how the only shine in his eyes were the reflections of light on tears that refused to fall…

Katsuki cursed.

The icy cold shower did little to help distract him from the memory, nor did his morning run nor the steaming shower he took after. He wasn’t supposed to head into the agency today, so he didn’t have any planned beatdowns for today, and yes he probably shouldn’t be hoping for it, but part of him hoped for a sudden emergency villain so he could distract himself by focusing on beating some villain’s ass into next week.

A few hours later when his phone refused to stop buzzing, Katsuki wondered if throwing his phone across the room until it stopped would be close enough to beating villain ass to work. He reluctantly decided that talking to people so they’d leave him alone was probably less hassle to deal with than having to replace his phone and distribute his new number (even if it would give him an excuse to ghost some of these damn extras).

A few individual texts and a group text were the cause of the buzzing. As the group text’s new message count continued to rise, he figured it would be easier to respond to the individual texts first. Just in case he changed his mind about destroying the phone.

Four Eyes (Rocket Legs): Hello Bakugou, this is a reminder about the upcoming Class A reunion. As the head of the reunion committee, it is my duty to ensure an accurate headcount for the event, and I have yet to receive your response about your attendance. Please ensure to respond via the following link by this Friday at 11:59PM. [Class A 10 Year Reunion RSVP]

Four Eyes (Rocket Legs): In case you missed the previous messages regarding the reunion, the event is March 28th starting at 7PM at the Shinjuku Hotel in Musutafu. If you need to rent a room for the night or the weekend, please alert the Shinjuku Hotel staff that you are part of the Class A reunion party by next Wednesday for an event discount.

Katsuki frowned. He wasn’t exactly looking forward to the possibility of being surrounded by all of his former classmates and even less at the idea of being socially obligated to spend the entire evening with them. At least when he met up with his friends elsewhere, he could always claim needing to leave early so he could make the last train or that work needed him to come in early the next day.

He closed out of the conversation, figuring he still had a few more days to decide if he really wanted to deal with his classmates for an entire evening.

Midoriya: Hey Katsugou! I was wondering if you’re going to go to the reunion? Tenya said the deadline to RSVP is coming soon and we haven’t heard from you, so I just thought I’d check in!

Katsuki: The fuck is Katsugou?

Midoriya: Oh sorry!! Typo!!

Midoriya: Anyway, are you coming?

Katsuki closed out of the conversation and moved on to the next one.

Shitty Hair: Katsuki! Are you coming to the reunion or not dude????

Katsuki: Fuck off.

Shitty Hair: Aww dude that’s no way to talk to your best friend, you know you love me!!

Katsuki: I’m blocking you.

He did not, in fact, block him. But he did close out of Eijirou’s texts.

Save for the newest text sent directly from Eijirou, all that was left was the backlog of texts in the group text. It had kept going off while he was reading the other conversations, so Katsuki figured it meant that everyone was either off for the day or on their lunch break.

Raccoon Eyes: guys!!!!! the reunion is COMING UPPPPPP!!!!

Raccoon Eyes: i cant wait to s

Raccoon Eyes: ee all of u guys again!!

Tape Face: lmao you saw us last week

Raccoon Eyes: yes

Raccoon Eyes: an eteRNITY ago

Raccoon Eyes: and like

Raccoon Eyes: kats left early so we didnt have everyone

Raccoon Eyes: so it doesnt count

Shitty Hair: Yeah Katsuki don’t leave early next time!!

Raccoon Eyes: we just have to hold him hostage next time

Raccoon Eyes: or like

Raccoon Eyes: AMBUSH him

Tape Face: i can always tape him up

Raccoon Eyes: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES

Raccoon Eyes: tape him to the wall

Raccoon Eyes: and then like

Raccoon Eyes: steal his wallet

Raccoon Eyes: cant get on transit w no moneys

Raccoon Eyes: ei and han hold him down

Raccoon Eyes: i run to hide his wallet where he cant fi

Raccoon Eyes: nd it

Raccoon Eyes: probs keeps kats tapped to the wall all night

Raccoon Eyes: free up his arms so he can have a drink????

Tape Face: explosion palms dude

Raccoon Eyes: oh u right

Raccoon Eyes: he can just have a cup w like

Raccoon Eyes: a REALLY REALLY long straw

Raccoon Eyes: make sure u tape him up w his hands behind his back

Tape Face: you got it

Shitty Hair: He’s in this chat guys he’s going to see the plan

Raccoon Eyes: whatevs we can still totally blindside him

Raccoon Eyes: ANYWAYS

Raccoon Eyes: ure all going right?????

Tape Face: ya I rsvpd a while back

Shitty Hair: Yep!! Wouldn’t miss it for the world!

Raccoon Eyes: what about u kats

Raccoon Eyes: kats???

Raccoon Eyes: KAAAAAAAAAAAAATS

Raccoon Eyes: k

Raccoon Eyes: a

Shitty Hair: I’ll text him separately

Raccoon Eyes: t

Tape Face: he probably has this muted lmao

Raccoon Eyes: s

Raccoon Eyes: !!!!!!

Raccoon Eyes: how dare u ignore us

Raccoon Eyes: after everything weve done for u!!!!

Raccoon Eyes: thought we were ur ride or die hoes

Raccoon Eyes: dont tell me ur not going!!!!!

Raccoon Eyes: im so offended

Raccoon Eyes: how could u do this to us kats

Shitty Hair: Maybe he’s at work today?

Raccoon Eyes: boo

Raccoon Eyes: how dare he prioritize wo

Raccoon Eyes: rk over us

Raccoon Eyes: his best friends

Raccoon Eyes: the suns of his life

Raccoon Eyes: the bit of happiness in the cold

Raccoon Eyes: cold

Raccoon Eyes: cold

Tape Face: coooooooooold

Raccoon Eyes: COOOOOOOOLD

Raccoon Eyes: thing he calls a heart

Shitty Hair: Lmao

Tape Face: its got a bit of warmth

Tape Face: most of it is his temper

Raccoon Eyes: boom boom POW

Raccoon Eyes: well while we wait for kats

Raccoon Eyes: help me pick some photos for the slideshow!!

Tape Face: are you doing only UA pics or some stuff since then

Tape Face: somehow iida managed to not specify lmao

Shitty Hair: The info email was like ten pages, how did he miss it

Tape Face: idk

Raccoon Eyes: ive got plenty for both!!

Raccoon Eyes: momo said pref UA pics but some new stuff is good too

Raccoon Eyes: show how far weve come n all that

Tape Face: oh cool let me get some opinions then too

Shitty Hair: Anyone have any pics of the camping trip from second year?

Raccoon Eyes: before or after todoroki and kats’ fight turned it into a icy hot springs

Shitty Hair: Both lmao but probably before it went to hell

Raccoon Eyes: image.png

Raccoon Eyes: ofc ive got us chillin in the springs

Raccoon Eyes: well most of us

Raccoon Eyes: kats u never get in the water w us :C

Raccoon Eyes: lets go to the beach next time!!

Tape Face: hed prob boil the water w you in it if you dragged him in lmao

Tape Face: spicy acid time

Raccoon Eyes: id like to see him TRY

Shitty Hair: Don’t tempt him lmao

Raccoon Eyes: image.png

Raccoon Eyes: image.png

Raccoon Eyes: image.png

Raccoon Eyes: i got like a shit ton more

Raccoon Eyes: should i send some of THE FIGHT

Shitty Hair: Maybe not

Tape Face: yes

Tape Face: well

Tape Face: depends on how many pissed off katsuki pics youre putting in lmao

Raccoon Eyes: OH

Raccoon Eyes: OHHHH

Raccoon Eyes: OHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Tape Face: ?

Raccoon Eyes: dude

Raccoon Eyes: do u have the POMERANIAN pic

Tape Face: o shit

Tape Face: image.png

Shitty Hair: I still think Katsuki should’ve taken that pup home

Shitty Hair: They’re matching!

Tape Face: image.png

Tape Face: i also have this one

Tape Face: when she tried to bite his nose off lmao

Raccoon Eyes: kats couldve named her king explosion murder

Raccoon Eyes: or just murder

Raccoon Eyes: p sure she wouldve tried to murder kats at least o

Raccoon Eyes: nce

Tape Face: lmao she basically tried when he found her

Shitty Hair: Maybe it’s for the best that he didn’t keep the pup

Tape Face: look what i found

Tape Face: image.png

Raccoon Eyes: AWWWW YES

Raccoon Eyes: LOOK AT USSSSS

Raccoon Eyes: we look FABBBB

Shitty Hair: Is that from the dance?

Tape Face: ye

Raccoon Eyes: guys what if we recreate that pic at the reunion

Raccoon Eyes: the fits?

Raccoon Eyes: immaculate

Raccoon Eyes: the pose?

Raccoon Eyes: perfection

Tape Face: hotel?

Tape Face: trivago

Shitty Hair: I’m down for recreating some pics!

Raccoon Eyes: yessssss

Raccoon Eyes: u have no choice either kats u gotta do it

Raccoon Eyes: wherever u are

Shitty Hair: Oh he replied!!

Raccoon Eyes: SWEET

Raccoon Eyes: what he say

Shitty Hair: He said fuck off

Tape Face: as expected

Shitty Hair: Lmao he threatened to block me again

Tape Face: thought he said he was blocking you last week

Shitty Hair: Yea exactly

Raccoon Eyes: HOW RUDE

Raccoon Eyes: as punishment for not paying attention to us

Raccoon Eyes: im gonna send this

Raccoon Eyes: image.png

Tape Face: LMAO whend you make that

Shitty Hair: Is that Katsuki with a cat face and ears

Shitty Hair: Dude I don’t know if he’s going to kill you for that or for the pink hair first lmao

Raccoon Eyes: lmao made it just now

Raccoon Eyes: well MAYBE if he ANSWERED us

Katsuki: Delete it.

Tape Face: O SHIT

Tape Face: you summoned him

Raccoon Eyes: NO I WILL NOT

Katsuki: Delete it Raccoon Eyes or else I’m coming for you.

Tape Face: are you coming for the left shoes and shittin in them

Raccoon Eyes: NOOOOOOO not my shoes!!!!!!!!

Tape Face: its just the left shoes tho

Raccoon Eyes: BUT THATS MY FAVE SIDE

Katsuki: What the fuck are you two going on about?

Raccoon Eyes: DONT COME FOR M

Raccoon Eyes: Y LEFT SHOES KATS IM SORRY

Katsuki: I’m not coming for your fucking left shoes. Or any of your shoes.

Katsuki: I will be coming for you if you don’t delete that picture, though.

Raccoon Eyes: FORGIVENESS

Raccoon Eyes: I BEG

Raccoon Eyes: PLSSSSS

Katsuki: Delete the picture.

Raccoon Eyes: ugh fiiiiiiiiiine

Raccoon Eyes: its deleted

Raccoon Eyes: i wont send it to momo for the slide show

Katsuki: Good.

Raccoon Eyes: IF U COME TO THE REUNION

Katsuki: Fuck off.

Shitty Hair: C’mon Katsuki!! It’ll be fun!!

Tape Face: ya it wouldnt do if we didnt have our exploding star

Raccoon Eyes: ill send momo WORSE if u dont come

Raccoon Eyes: nd u wont know WHAT til AFTER

Raccoon Eyes: so PLSSSSSSSSSS

Raccoon Eyes: PRETTY PLSSSSSSS

Raccoon Eyes: PLS COME TO THE REUNION

Raccoon Eyes: ill spam u a lot worse if u dont show us proof of rsvp

Raccoon Eyes: pls kaaaaaaaaats

Raccoon Eyes: kaaaaaaaaats

Raccoon Eyes: k

Raccoon Eyes: a

Katsuki: Ugh fucking fine, I’ll do the RSVP now then.

Raccoon Eyes: t

Raccoon Eyes: YAY

Four Eyes (Rocket Legs): Good afternoon, Bakugou! I just wanted to confirm with you that I have received your RSVP for the Class A reunion. As a reminder, if you need to rent a room for the night or the weekend, please alert the Shinjuku Hotel staff that you are part of the Class A reunion party by next Wednesday for an event discount.

Katsuki: image.png

Katsuki: image.png

Katsuki: Four Eyes is watching the RSVP form like a fucking hawk apparently.

Raccoon Eyes: YAAAAAY URE RSVPD!!!

Shitty Hair: You know him, always dedicated to his work

Tape Face: sweet

Raccoon Eyes: are u guys getting rooms

Tape Face: yea musutafus too far for a round trip

Tape Face: esp since itll prob end late

Shitty Hair: I got one for the weekend!

Tape Face: wbu mina

Raccoon Eyes: booked a room already!!

Raccoon Eyes: kaaaaats wbu

Raccoon Eyes: u should

Raccoon Eyes: we could have a brunch or lunch or s/t thats just us

Raccoon Eyes: plsssssss kats

Katsuki: I’ll think about it.

Tape Face: better than a no lmao

Shitty Hair: If they run out of space or if you decide last second, you can room with me dude

Raccoon Eyes: awww why not a yes

Katsuki: I haven’t asked the other Four Eyes for the time off yet.

Tape Face: is this four eyes no4 or no15

Raccoon Eyes: four eyes no69

Raccoon Eyes: no wait

Raccoon Eyes: no420

Tape Face: haha blaze it

Raccoon Eyes: BLAZE IT

Shitty Hair: It’s number 7

Katsuki: Fuck you, I don’t have that many Four Eyes saved in my phone.

Shitty Hair: I’d be surprised if you had 420 contacts period dude

Raccoon Eyes: would b hilarious tho

Katsuki: Yes, it’s Four Eyes number 7.

Shitty Hair: I was right!!

Katsuki: Why would I ask any of the other Four Eyes for time off? They’re not my fucking bosses.

Tape Face: dunno

Raccoon Eyes: idk maybe ure secretly dating one a

Raccoon Eyes: nd have to confirm that its ok

Raccoon Eyes: ARE U SECRETLY DATING A FOUR EYES

Raccoon Eyes: U HAVE TO TELL US IF U ARE

Raccoon Eyes: URE LEGALLY OBLIGATED

Tape Face: o shit

Tape Face: scandalous

Katsuki: Shut the fuck up, I’m not dating anyone, secret or not.

Raccoon Eyes: thats what they all say

Katsuki: Whatever. I’m not dating anyone.

Raccoon Eyes: kats n four eyes no420 sittin in a tree

Raccoon Eyes: k

Raccoon Eyes: i

Raccoon Eyes: s

Raccoon Eyes: s

Raccoon Eyes: i

Katsuki: I’ll blow up all of your left shoes when you’re not home.

Raccoon Eyes: n

Raccoon Eyes: NO

Raccoon Eyes: IM STOPPING DONT DO IT

Shitty Hair: Hey what do you guys think of this photo

Shitty Hair: image.png

Tape Face: dude yes

Raccoon Eyes: AWWWW OUR FIRST BILLBOARDS AS PROS

Katsuki: Do we really need to send them pictures? It’s not like we fucking forgot this stuff already.

Tape Face: you can be a killjoy if you want lmao

Tape Face: im sure mina will send more than enough to cover for you

Raccoon Eyes: U BETCHA

Raccoon Eyes: image.png

Raccoon Eyes: image.png

Raccoon Eyes: image.png

Raccoon Eyes: image.png

Raccoon Eyes: image.png

Tape Face: lmao why do you have a pic of katsuki throwing ei

Shitty Hair: I still can’t believe you did that bro

Shitty Hair: WITHOUT WARNING TOO

Katsuki: I gave you plenty of fucking warning.

Shitty Hair: Saying “I’m throwing you” AS YOU’RE THROWING ME is NOT PLENTY OF WARNING DUDE

Raccoon Eyes: im always ready to document golden moments

Katsuki: Shut the fuck up. We won the training exercise so what’s it fucking matter?

Shitty Hair: YOU THREW ME!!

Katsuki: Tape Face caught you before you could get hurt.

Shitty Hair: YOU /THREW/ ME!!!!!!

Tape Face: barely caught

Katsuki: Whatever.

Raccoon Eyes: im still impressed by how eASY u made that look

Katsuki: What the fuck’s that supposed to mean?

Raccoon Eyes: o look conveniently timed distraction photo spam

Katsuki sighed as he continued the conversation, commenting here and there on the photos his friends sent for judgement. In retrospect, he probably should have tried to talk to Shion first, since there was a chance she would have denied the time off for the reunion. Although, knowing her, she would have accepted just to force Katsuki into socializing. He opened up a new text message, figuring that if Shion did decide to deny the time off, he would at least have a screenshot to send to his friends explaining the sudden change in plans.

Katsuki: I need March 28th and 29th off.

Four Eyes (Shitty Shion): Do my eyes deceive me? The great Katsuki Bakugou, asking for time off?

Four Eyes (Shitty Shion): I’m amazed! Usually I have to ask you to take the day off!

Four Eyes (Shitty Shion): Nay, not ask, but force!

Katsuki: Are you going to give it to me or not?

Four Eyes (Shitty Shion): Depends! What do you need the time off for?

Katsuki: Class reunion.

Four Eyes (Shitty Shion): Oh those are fun!

Four Eyes (Shitty Shion): Fill out the proper time off paperwork and have it on my desk by Monday. I’ll approve the time off.

Four Eyes (Shitty Shion): Just keep your phone on you in case we need you to come in for an emergency, but I’ll try not to ruin your reunion with work.

Katsuki: Thanks.

Well, so much for an easy way out.

Katsuki pinched the bridge of his nose when he noticed that his phone had already accumulated another thirty texts in the past few minutes, no doubt primarily from Mina. He scrolled through the backlog, sending a few mostly empty threats when he saw photos he did not want projected for the entire class to see, freezing when his gaze met a pair of familiar amber eyes.

Shit.

In his scramble to close out of the photo, to escape the genuine smile that somehow was more haunting than the one in his dreams, he left the group text completely. He briefly thanked his past self; he’d impulse or rage quit the group text plenty of times before that this wasn’t unusual behavior. If he was lucky, his friends wouldn’t have noticed the timing of his departure and would assume he was just fed up with the notifications or the conversation.

Shitty Hair: You okay, Katsuki?

A weak laugh escaped Katsuki’s lips as he read the newest notification. Of course Eijirou noticed.

Katsuki: I’m fine.

Shitty Hair: Okay

Shitty Hair: We don’t have to talk about it

Shitty Hair: But if you want to, I’m here dude

Shitty Hair: I’ll tell the others that you left so your phone would shut up and not to add you back yet

Katsuki: Thanks. Really.

Shitty Hair: No problem dude

Katsuki put his phone down, silently praying for the smile to leave him alone.

When he finally laid down for bed that night, he repeated the short prayer, for a peaceful night’s rest free of the smile, of the hurt, of the pain, of the guilt.

But as always, the smile came.

[waddingham]

11 and david/patrick :D

11. “Wow, you look…amazing.”

(as soon as i read this prompt it sounded 100% like sarcasm so ill bet you can guess which of these i wrote first lmao anyway !!!! any excuse for some wedding fluff!)

i.

Finally, they have a moment alone.

The entire morning has been bustling with activity; last minute this and don’t forget that. He’s ready to scream when Patrick appears in the door of his room, clearing everyone out with a single command.

David watches as his room empties out until he can finally lay eyes on Patrick.

His groom. The thought sends butterflies through his center.

Patrick crosses the room to him. They had decided on a simple light gray suit for Patrick that fit so well David couldn’t wait to take it off of him. His hair has grown out just enough to curl. He’s all put together with dark navy tie and cream rose boutonniere, topped with an aura of happiness so bright he is practically shining.

He is an absolute vision and David’s heart skips at the sight.

“Wow. Patrick, you look…wow.”

Patrick smooths his tie with one hand, the other sinking deeper into his pocket as he smiles bashfully. “May I remind you you’ve seen this suit before? You helped choose it.”

“Yes, but…this is…” David’s mouth twists as he tries to put into words how stunning he looks. “Amazing. You look amazing.”

“Thank you.” He says it softly with great fondness in his voice. “Now why aren’t you ready?”

“Because no one will leave me alone? I just need my tie and rose.” He spins around to grab his tie. When he turns back Patrick is only a step away, reaching for the tie.

“May I?” Patrick slides it from his hands and lays it over his forearm as he reaches up to lift David’s collar.

David watches Patrick’s face, intent on his task. A little crease appears between his brow as if he were touching up a Michelangelo.

David’s suit, of course, is traditional black, but the tie is pale gray to match Patrick’s suit. Patrick had suggested a dark blue boutonniere to match his tie, but David was insistent on roses and unnaturally colored flowers are, apparently, tacky and unacceptable.

Patrick finishes the tie and smooths David’s suit, then takes the cream rose and pins it to his lapel. Patrick steps back to take him in. He presses his hand to his lips as he looks at him. He smiles wide beneath his fingertips as he nods vigorously.

David strikes a dramatic pose for him and Patrick laughs.

Patrick steps to him again and takes David’s face in his hands. “I’m so glad I only have to wait –” he makes a show of looking at his watch-less wrist – “10 more minutes to marry you.”

David grins wide, “How lucky for us.”

ii.

“Wow, you look…amazing.”

“Okay. Thanks so much,” David starts to close the motel door in Patrick’s face. He must’ve gotten the story from someone, either Dad’s long-winded, self-exonerating version or Alexis’ mocking, not-very-explanatory version. Hopefully, it was Stevie’s moderately accurate version…

Patrick puts a hand out and steps in, not needing much effort to stop David’s half-hearted shut out. “Babe, relax. You’d be gorgeous in clown makeup.”

“We’re gonna bring that up right now? Really? When I look like I live in a dungeon?” Patrick suppresses a laugh. “If you think you are being supportive in this trying time of mine, the door is right there.”

Patrick drops his grocery bag on David’s bed and turns to him, gripping his hips and pulling him close. David tries to back away. “I don’t think… is this contagious?”

“No, it’s not contagious,” Patrick says. David relaxes into his embrace, letting Patrick kiss him carefully.

“What’s in the bag?” David peeks over Patrick’s shoulder.

Patrick spins and starts pulling things out. “Some poison oak soap, ice cream, Ivarest, calamine lotion.”

“Really buried the lead there. What flavor?”

Patrick lifts the calamine lotion in his hand. “Calamine.”

David just glares at him and swipes the ice cream off the bed. Moose tracks. God bless this man.

“Thank you.”

Patrick kisses his unblemished cheek. “Of course.”

iii. 

“Patrick, Patrick, Patrick,” David breathes against his lips, their noses pressed together swallowing each other’s moans, gasps, sighs.

David pulls back enough to take in Patrick’s face and the sight undoes him. Patrick is glowing, neck taut and lips parted. His eyes are dark chocolate and hooded, his brow creased.

David stops moving and Patrick whines softly, “Babe?”

“Hold on, hold on,” David lifts up and gazes down at him, breathing heavily.

“What is it? Are you okay?” Patrick presses his hand to David’s cheek.

David nods, “I’m just – you…” He takes a deep breath. “You’re amazing. You – you look amazing.”

A smile lights Patrick’s face as he pulls David down to kiss him.

iv.

“Let’s go get breakfast.”

Every week David blesses the small town tradition of stores being closed on Sundays. The first strings of sunlight are pouring through the window, spilling across Patrick’s duvet and the stray uncovered leg. They’ve both woken early and lay tangled together, watching dust motes float through the light.

David nuzzles into Patrick’s collarbone. “Should probably stay in. After last night, by the time I get myself presentable it will be dinner time.”

Patrick pulls out from beneath David to look at him, side by side. He pretends to scrutinize him from his hair to his collarbones. David rolls his eyes.

“Well,” he leans across and kisses his forehead, “after careful consideration,” then his nose, “I think you look amazing.” He closes his lips over David’s twisted grin. They both let the kiss linger, having the entire day to kill.

“I should hope so, because all of this,” gesturing to his wild hair and hickeyed neck and naked torso, “is your doing.”

Patrick grins at him. “There are literally no circumstances under which you would not be the most beautiful person on the planet. That’s just a fact of life.” The sincerity of his voice undermines the teasing smile on his face.

David is unable to hold back a million watt smile. “You’re ridiculous.”

“I’ll buy you a stack of pancakes and a chocolate croissant if you can be ready in 5 minutes.”

David squeezes his eyes shut as though the decision agonizes him. “Fine.”

Given the word, Patrick leaps up and sprints toward the bathroom yelling, “I get the bathroom first!”

“Asshole,” David calls as he rolls his face into Patrick’s pillow.

v.

David was very, very right in looking forward to shedding Patrick’s suit from his body. The sight of his groom, tie gone, shirt buttons half undone, rose still pinned to his coat is a sight to behold. “Babe,” he says, looking at him from the edge of the bed where Patrick has just sat down. “You’re my husband.”

Patrick goes a little soft. “I am,” he says, taking David’s hand. “And you are my husband.”

David sits next to him and kisses him gently, holding his face in his hands.

“It looks very good on you. The whole husband, marriage, lifetime commitment thing,” Patrick says it jokingly but he’s right; David is lit from within, smile more glorious and shameless than Patrick has ever seen.

“You should see yourself,” David says, looking him up and down appreciatively. “Amazing.”

Patrick gets even more antsy at his look, “So were we gonna consummate this marriage or –” He cuts off with a laugh when David pushes him back onto the bed.

[lesbianholster]

High school #10, bassian?

(also on the ao3)

is2g if k doesn’t stfu abt krennic’s test im gonnascream?????

Bodhi nodded from his position on the couch, shooting back areply.

Dunno who K is, but I believe you. Krennic’s a HARDASS.

He sighed, rubbing his eyes.

Ever since he left his number on the bathroom stall in hopesthat some cute guy would text him, this guy had been texting Bodhi nonstopabout his day and such. It was very endearing, and he liked being able toconverse with this guy, but at the same time, who the hell was he?Because at this point, the only things he knew about the mystery guy was that1. His best friend kept getting them into trouble (she thinks shoplifting iscool, its a disaster, fml) 2. He was on track (dk why i make myselfsuffer??? at least ive got the calves to show for it lmao) and 3. He alsohad Mr. Krennic for calculus, and apparently hated him just as much as Bodhidid.

The hum of his phone distracted him from his thoughts.

MG: my asshole friend whos at my house rn

MG: hes all like “statistically, ur not likely tosucceed”

MG: ya ok statistically im gonna shove this pencil up urass???

Bodhi snorted at the image.

B :Does he always calculate the percentages of shit?

MG: YES!!! omg its so annoying like “there's a 62% chanceof failure” stfu k

The image of Bodhi’s blond classmate snarking left and rightcame to mind.

B: Lmao. Sounds like Kayden.

MG: ya, that's him!!

Ok, then. That was the fourth fact: he knew Kayden Essex,the bored genius asshole. That left Bodhi with only one degree of separationbetween him and the mystery guy. Nice.

Bodhi felt his eyelids grow heavy. Deciding he should probablytry to get a good night’s sleep before the test from hell, he shot the guy onelast text.

B: I'm gonna try to sleep, night.

B: Try not to murder Kayden??

MG: Lmao no promises

MG: well gn & good luck 2morrow!!!

Smiling, he set down the phone and closed his eyes, lettingsleep take over him.

~~~

Despite his best efforts, Bodhi still walked into class thenext morning with a sinking feeling in his gut.

With ten minutes before class began, everyone wasmanifesting their anxiety in various ways. Luke was having a full-on anxietyattack (“I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die”), Sabine was trying to cramin that last bit of studying (math was never her strong point), while Kaydenwas getting frustrated with someone over the phone. “Just listen … well, statistically,with all the effort we put in, the odds of passing are—I'm trying to reassureyou, for heaven's sake!”

He hung up with a sigh, shoving his phone back in hispocket.

“Everything alright?” asked Bodhi nervously, fiddling withhis pencil.

Kayden shook his head. “My friend’s being stubborn aboutthis test, and it's quite irritating. I'm trying to get it through to him thatthreatening to stick a pencil up Mr. Krennic's rear end won't help his chances,but he's too busy being frustrated to listen.”

“What a shame,” he said, looking over at the door with a bitof hope. Did that mean that the mystery guy was… “Is he in this period?”

“Yes, and I'mtrying to tell him that stalling never works in the face of great obstacles—”

Just then, the door opened. A lanky, brown-haired guy walkedin, making a show of scowling at Kayden.

Wait.

Cassian was theguy? That was impossible. He was the captain of the fucking football team and400-meter record setter, for crying out loud, and there was no chance in hellthat someone as reserved and moody as him could have possibly been sending himall those energetic texts.

“Thanks a lot, Kay,”he snarled, falling into the seat next to Bodhi. Kay? Maybe there was a chance, after all…

“You’re the guy?” Bodhi blurted out before he could stophimself.

Cassian turned to look at him, with a justifiably annoyedlook on his face. “The what?”

Fuck. “Er, you know, the … the mystery guy?” Cassianlowered his brows. Shit, why couldn't hespeak like a normal person? “The guy who—you’ve been texting me all month,remember?”

Cassian continued to look confused, before his eyes flewopen in recognition. “You mean you're—”

“The number on the wall ending in 0608?” Bodhi nodded. “Erm,yeah, that's me.”

“Holy shit.” Cassian’s face broke out into a smile.

And then, he laughed.

Bodhi joined in—after all, it was kind of amazing how hemanaged to bring out Cassian’s more excitable side. They clutched at each other’sshoulders, snorting and wiping away tears.

“Wait a sec,” said Cassian, pulling away with anotherchuckle, “I just, I need to make sure it’s you, right?” Pulling out his phone,he quickly typed up a text. Within seconds, Bodhi’s phone hummed.

New message from “Mystery Guy”:

coffee later 2day?

Bodhi looked up, grinning as he nodded.

Just then, the bell rang, and Mr. Krennic walked in, backramrod straight as always.

“Alright, everyone,” he said, loud and booming and with thatannoying accent, “put your phones away, I hope you’re prepared.”

Even through his anxiety, Cassian flashed one last grin atBodhi, who winked back.

Score.

[rockwell-rocky-blog]

Lucas ‘Rocky’ Rockwell | 25 | The Calamity 

Hi what is up my doodz??? My name is Hailey, I’m 21, and this smol dog is my Rocky. Now sit back and let me tell you a lil sum sum about my boi

Basics.

I feel like Rocky is going to be a really easy person to get along with. He’s not going to be like super nice and cheery or something, but definitely not the kind of guy to just dislike people from the start. He needs a good reason to be a dick to you, and he will if given the need.

That’s why I call Rocky an asshole, because once he decides he doesn’t like you, it’s just like that for life. He doesn’t just dislike people, he hates with every fiber of his being. He’ll throw a punch without a second thought or rip you to shreds with just a few words.

I chose ‘the calamity’ because wherever Rocky goes, trouble follows. He doesn’t look for trouble, it just finds him. He has a history of drug abuse (which you’ll see below) and it ultimately destroyed his family. I see him as a person who frequently fucks up and has to figure out how to fix it.

He’s in love with Molly Mattinson, the mother of his three boys who have yet to be named at this very moment. He’s probably still going to flirt around and has been around since their break up a few years ago, but I don’t think there’s ever going to be anyone else for him in the same way he loves her.

That’s about it??? idk what else to say about his personality because I haven’t figured it out yet but yeah HMU IF YOU WANNA LOVE ON THIS BABE??? 

Childhood.

TRIGGER WARNING: PHYSICAL, SEXUAL, AND VERBAL ABUSE MENTIONED

His full name is Lucas James Rockwell III., but he exclusively goes by Rocky. It derives from his last name, and he chose to ditch his first name when he was adopted at fourteen. His father wanted to pass on the family name to his oldest son, but he didn’t stick around for very long. 

When Rocky was eight, his dad walked out on them and he never saw him again. After that, he and his three siblings were left to fend for themselves, as their alcoholic mother was no help at all. When she wasn’t passed out drunk or out on some bender she would verbally, physically, and eventually in Rocky’s case, sexually abuse them every chance she got. 

His mother, who Rocky refuses to address as anything other than ‘Tina’, began to force intimacy on him shortly after he turned ten. It became so routine, that whenever she’d get home, Rocky would just become physically ill and begin to throw up. Just the thought of his mother caused a reaction sometimes, and even to this day he still feels sick when she crosses his mind. 

It all came to an end when Rocky was in the 7th grade. He was changing out of his clothes in gym class and the coach noticed a large, painful looking bruise on the back of his thigh. Soon after, the investigation started and the Rockwell siblings lives changed forever. 

He and his older sister was placed in separate group homes, while his elementary school aged siblings were placed into foster homes together, and soon adopted by loving families. While he was able to keep contact with his sister, he hasn’t spoken to his two other siblings in years.

After living in several different group homes, Rocky was lucky enough to meet Monica and Harvey Carlin, the two people he would eventually learn to call mom and dad. They were volunteers his group home, and Harvey took a special interest in the young man. He was nearing his fourteenth birthday, and Harvey saw a lot of himself in the kid. He, too, had been abused by his parents and ended up in the same Seattle boys home he was helping out in now. He decided to be a mentor to him, teaching him things a father should teach. It was nice for him to finally have an adult in his life who seemed to care.

After about a year of being in his life, Harvey and Monica asked Rocky if he wanted to join their family. They welcomed him in with open arms, and the adoption was finalized with a party of over 100 new family members to welcome him home. 

Adolescence.

TRIGGER WARNING: DRUG ABUSE 

While Rocky was still in foster care, he met the wonderful Molly Mattinson and took almost no time falling in love with her. It took him nearly a year to officially ask her to be his girlfriend, because she was perfect and he didn’t want his past to ruin her. He was afraid that after everything he’d been through, she would decide he was too damaged to even bother. Molly became the most consistent thing in his life, and to this day he feels like he will never be able to fully thank her for that.

When he was sixteen, their worlds became intertwined forever. Rocky and Molly were having a baby. He was terrified to tell the Carlins, the family who had actually chosen him. He didn’t want to make them regret ever taking a chance on him, only two years into being under their roof and he was already knocking someone up. Of course, the ever-loving Harvey and Monica were anything but regretful. While they definitely weren’t happy, they did their best to support the young couple in every way they could through the pregnancy.

Knowing he couldn’t rely on them forever. He tried to both work and go to school, but when the baby finally came, he knew it was hopeless. It wasn’t like he was ever going to go to college, why even bother graduating? He dropped out before junior year started and began to work full time to support his family.

 About a year later, Molly was pregnant with their second child, and that is when everything started to go downhill. Between being a father and working full time, things became a little too stressful for Rocky. He was just seventeen and already paying for an apartment, a car, groceries, a baby, and now he had another one on the way. He just needed a little something to take the edge off. 

During Molly’s second pregnancy, Rocky started down the path that would eventually lose him his family. After first, it was just weed. It was always around, he’d smoked before and it wasn’t a big deal. But then it was pills. Then it was both at the same time. And then eventually he was just never sober. But hey, he had it under control, right?

After their second child was born, everything just got worse. He started getting into heavier and heavier things, his drug of choice being heroin, but eventually there wasn’t a drug he hadn’t tried. 

His first OD was when he was eighteen and the boys were still too young to remember, but it definitely wasn’t the last. In total, Rocky overdosed six times between the ages of seventeen and nineteen, all from a mix of heroin and morphine. The doctors kept warning his family that he needed to get help, and he refused treatment under any circumstance. He did not want to get better, but he knew he was losing Molly. 

In a last stitch effort to save his little family, Rocky planned the pregnancy of their third child. In his state, none of his decisions were good ones, and that included lying to his girlfriend about pulling out and soon baby number three was on his way, but it couldn’t save the relationship. 

Rocky’s last overdose happened when he was twenty one and the boys were five, four, and two, and it happened when everyone was home. He stumbled home already messed up, and quickly locked himself in the bathroom to take himself completely over the edge. It wasn’t on purpose, but two days later he woke up in the hospital with an IV drip and the news that he died that night. He had a heart attack and he was technically dead for three whole minutes. That was his wake up call. That was it. He’d finally it rock bottom. He’d almost taken a father away from his kids because he was so selfish. It was then that he knew he had to finally take care of himself. He let Molly check him into rehab the next day, and so began his road to recovery.

Adulthood.

After his three month stint in rehab, Rocky was shocked to find that Molly took their kids and moved away. He figured her lack of communication was just due to her wanting to focus on the kids and let him get better on his own. But by the time he was out, he couldn’t even blame her. He knew what he’d put her through, what he’d put their children through with his addiction. If being away from him was what she thought was best for her and the boys, he couldn’t blame her.

Rocky has been completely drug free for two years. He fell off the wagon a few times, but hasn’t touched a single drug since May 2015, and has put all of his focus on being a better person, and a better father.

I’m not proofreading any of that, I just hope it makes sense LMAO

[kkukkung]

Im crying in the school bathroom rn I seriously love wonho so much I'm in pain why is he my ideal guy in every way he's so amazing and handsome and sweet but whO CARES BEVause he don't kno me haha am I right

big mood all the time im always in pain bc he rly................ doesn’t KNOW i would let him shave off my eyebrows if he wanted 2

tardy replies as usual under the cut!

(sorted from oldest to newest)

I wouldn't even care if wonho was a high maintenance boyf tbh I'd just sit and comb his hair all day and tell him he's pretty

hdjkfh this was so long ago but i think i was mostly kidding abt him being a high maintenance bf... like he would do so much giving? but i guess the only thing he’d need is constant reassurance that his s/o loves him imo jfdhgjk... i also think he’d b someone who either doesn’t settle down ever or does it very late in his life!

annie 🌹literary queen ❤️ literally crowned with a laurel wreath! not be drum attic but this midsummer nights monsta au is so!!!! give me sistar as the four star crossed lovers then drag me to h*ll and give me this doctor faustus au i'm itching for with kihyun as faustus and k.will as mephistopheles bc i love to watch my faves s*ffer but don't let me rip until i get my much ado about nothing au with the entire cast of starship ent and a lil cameo from giriboy!

(in refence to this monsta x as shakespearean archetypes ask!) fjdshgkjs shh i lov u... why is k will as mephistopheles so Accurate esp no.mercy k will lmao. um u should write all of these? in fact if... if anyone has mx literary aus.... hmu...... i’ll n*t

another thing about that incident is that it seems like the fan doesn't think Changkyun and Jooheon undersood them?? (an extension i guess they assumed they don't understand english very well) and that's pretty problematic. it seems to me that when they didn't respond the fan assumed they didn't understand and kept repeating it, as a joke. but they literally did That to the two with the most proficient english in the group... it's rly a mess all around. it's disrespectful through and through

(in relation to that gross “d*ddy” incident from a while ago) ik i feel like some intl fans think korea is a land completely culturally and linguistically alienated/divorced from the rest of the world or something and while cultural relativism is real to some extent... the idea that koreans are completely unaware of ~outside~ things is deeply racist. like mostly white ppl think that diasphoric poc are completely Different from them? when my mum went to the states 15 years ago some ppl literally asked her if there were newspapers in china lol...

i just randomly thought of monsta x as sesame street characters mostly bc i wanna see kihyun and wonho duke it out as bert and ernie (kihyun w/ the waste paper bin on his head and wonho asking 'where's the waste paper bin' and kihyun saying 'ask me that again and look into my eyes') and also minhyuk being elmo tbh...

JKGHKJDF PLEASe!!!! when will something like this b photoshopped... minhyuk as elmo is... spot on... i remember once elmo appeared on a now-discontinued late night talk show program i used to watch when i was in primary school and he was like “elmo likes wasabi, that’s why elmo has no eyebrows” and idk why ive never been able to forget this????? very lmh. also this made me think of a monsta x muppets au n minhyuk is the pic of ass-gape kermit.... next post of mine will b monsta x as kermit reaction pics

Hyungkyun is such an under appreciated ship. Like, they just get each other so well? Why do people overlook it. ㅠ.ㅠ Do you have a moment that made you ship them? How would you describe their dynamic?

it’s bc they’re intp x intj they don’t rly... Understand each other with minimal effort/real communication lmao it’s very efficient. both quiet lil darlings who aren’t emotionally That Open but enjoy their own little space together sometimes?? their dynamic is like... they’re weird in different ways but they’re v chill together. u can tell hyungwon is super fond of changkyun like he has this Expression when ck does anything at all.... i think these two rly love each other’s personalities bc they’re both kind/gentle/peaceful types and their overall ?? vibe is just highly compatible... they’re absolute darlings... v soft together... i can’t think of a favourite moment but i rly rly love their birthday messages for each other last year like changkyun’s message for hyungwon was like “ur rly cool bruh ur rly such a great person” and hyungwon’s message for changkyun was rly... just him obviously doting on him n finding him cute jksfdhg i lov them a lot :(

soyou: i know how to make hair pretty :))) knetz: dirty fckn iljin why can't she be out there being being PRODUCTIVE in society by having babies and learning how to be a good wife for her future husband ://// smh how dare she be successful now when i'm stuck doing what society wants me to do but also anonymously attacking ppl i don't personally know on the internet bc THATS respectable the irony of ugly knetz is so transparent

The whole thing about Knetz and wonho's "scandalous" past reminded me of something. As a PSA to those people who are so insistent and pushy that idols aren't allowed to have sex/date/be anything but straight: Fuck all of you. You do not own these people, and if you really cared about them you'd be happy if they were happy. Like tbh, if anyone that famous and busy could also balance out a relationship at the same time, I'd be so happy for them. It really bugs me how all idols are supposed (1/2)(2/2) have this squeaky clean innocent image where they have to look and act a certain way and have these stupid fucking dating bans because once they don't meet up to that image their success suffers. Idols already give up so much privacy, and the last thing they need is millions of people scrutinizing every little thing they do. I don't even know where I started this rant from, but basically, GIVE IDOLS PRIVACY AND DONT JUDGE THEM FOR THEIR PASTS OR FOR BEING IN RELATIONSHIPS OR WHATEVER

yeth ty for highlighting the gross obsession w purity and productivity (like the first anon said -- a very confucian sort of ideal)... i don’t rly have anything else to add here i think. also i would fight for soyou i fact i would fight lmh who said she was his ideal type in no.mercy era... she’s rly one of my faves and the way she was slandered for the hairdressing thing was one of the most ridiculous things knets ever did lmao honestly yuk

u a kihyun stan now👀👀👀

im a @fhiz​ stan it’s the same thing tbh

ahh so i saw your tags on that jh gifset! as one of the few jh stans (or maybe there are way more than i think there are lol) i rly love his "reversal charm." he has a lot of what i lack as a person: a strong presence and a lot of confidence! i respect him so much as a person alth i rag on him a lot LMAO. sorry if this is a bit long winded but i just rly wanted to put this out there ;;

this is rly cute i lov hearing ppl talk abt their faves lovingly it rly... Heals Me. i think it’s strange how underappreciated jooheon is in this fandom especially bc he’s usually the one who catches ur eye first bc he’s so hyped by starship as being a one-in-a-million talented rapper u know? and he rly shines in mvs and no.mercy but............. y does he have the least fansites jkfhdg ?? you’re v right abt the reversal charm thing but i feel like sometimes it’s very overdone like... on lots of shows he’s asked to do aegyo when rly he should be asked to... idk... rap or dance or something?? i actually think jooheon is the most serious member of monsta x sometimes bc he seems to have a sense that he’s.. the pillar of mx if that makes sense? and that’s why he’s always pushing himself and working tirelessly like he feels very Responsible for this group, more than anyone else. idk if that makes sense!!! i love him and i want him to... unwind a bit bc sometimes he looks so stressed and tired but he still feels the need to pretend to be energetic like my heart rly hurts for him :/ this got so emo im sry i do rly love to hear that u respect him sm i love jooheon stans :(

i can see what u mean about jooheon being 1 of the most masculine. (iirc u also talked abt kihyun being that in a post a while ago) like with his face and his physique he really is striking; his body=like that slim,upside-down Y that you'd learn to draw men w/ in Anatomy 101 , but i think.. ,--not that u asked, but,, i think the jury's still out on if he's comfortable w his masculinity with the way he acts feminine lyk misogynistic comedians Can sound like dead ringers for women,? idk & i take +

(not sure if there was a 2nd part to this? there’s nothing else in my inbox so i’m sry if there was and tumblr ate it) yeth i think i meant that his demeanor is the most ~~masculine~~ whereas i think kihyun is still the most... idk... mature-masculine?? if tht makes sense, and i definitely agree w u on that second point! i didn’t think of that at the time but now that i... do... think abt it... ur right and also the way he comes back from it by putting on the >swag demeanor again in an attempt to polarise it is definitely a bit 👀👀👀 he probably doesn’t want to risk his Manly Rapper Image for real u kno? that said it’s ingrained in kpop that behaving cute --> “girly” entails that sort of “comedic” high-pitched voice + compact body language etc.... like i’m not condoning that ofc but i definitely think it’s broader than this particular case! :/ hm

maybe i'd be doing better in school if i could major in kihyunology ;~; i stan him but i def think we still don't know much about him even after all this time after debut. especially when i look at him compared to wonho who wears his heart on his sleeve (bless him i love wonho sm, gotta protect this bun at all costs!!)...but ya it just makes me wanna learn more about him like who is the real kihyun??

i want to write a kihyun meta when i have time... i feel like i Get him a bit more these days but it’s also very hard to put into words bc u kno when u kinda sorta mb get some1 but it’s a feeling rather than anything conveniently expressable gkjdhfjk.... idk if anyone wants to send in some Kihyun Thoughts + Meta feel free! :>> i don’t think he’s actually... as complex as we sometimes make him out to be lol like his behaviour is actually kind of predictable? more on his later

wait is the february comeback actually true? ugh i'm so conflicted cuz on one hand i'm excited if there's really gonna be a full length album, but i also think they need more rest but then there's the matter of getting their first win and idk i'm super psyched but i'm also worried that the boys are being overworked

i still feel like they had a comeback like yesterday lol like looking at their schedules stresses me out bc they do so much..... im glad wonho got to go to his mum’s cafe recently tho! all we can do is have faith in them rn and when it’s time... stream, buy things if ur able to, spread the news and the hype etc. i am definitely Worried abt some things like the competition they’re up against but.... gotta have faith u kno... and i feel like all active idols are kind of... permanently worked very hard but i think currently only jooheon and shownu are a bit Overloaded. also has the date been confirmed yet... it’s february already...

[verticalfrontalsomething]

I want to be petty or dead and I’m not sure which way I’m leaning right now lmao

who am I kidding I know exactly which way I’m leaning and it’s “why not both?” 

I’ve got his parents’ phone numbers too, I could call them, since he decided it was necessary to bring my parents into this shit

I’m tired I’m fucking exhausted of being The Only One Who’s Done Anything Wrong Here when one of those people (lied) took me to the er when I needed to go last christmas and, funnily enough, talked like there was shit I needed to work on but like maybe I’d be okay

and my own emotions have been rapid-cycling so fucking quickly that there’s literally only one thing I want to do at this point and it’s walk off an overpass it’s not like anyone’s going to be hurt by that, obviously I had and continue to have no redeeming qualities, regardless of anything I try to do to apologize, to make up for, to give space. apparently (since I wrote a fucking five page apology at like four in the morning when I was half asleep) I turned everything back on him and he wouldn’t let me get a fucking word in edgewise, so he called in the fucking troops so someone else who seems to think I’m only capable of being shit could join in the “kick ‘em while they’re down” party the fuckers decided to have. 

seriously at what point do you decide you’re better than someone because their brain is doing shit they don’t understand? oh, no, wait, I figured that out, nevermind.

the fucking worst part of this, the part that’s leaving me broken and destroyed and the reason I take the number of sleeping pills I take? I want this to be fixable. he told me it could be fixable. instead, he’s more or less blocked me on most of the social media stuff we followed each other on (god forbid I planned to send him a picture on facebook or anything) and the only time he’s spoken to me, he pulled his bullshit “I’ve never done anything wrong so I don’t know what you want from me” act. I can’t imagine what it’s actually like to be an outside party, watching someone you allegedly care about be torn apart by their own mind. now, yes, part of the reason I don’t get it is because he treated me like I was the only lifeline to reality he fucking had, but when shit turns around and goes the other way, things that we could’ve talked about and cleared up sooner, no, we had to take care of him first because he was clearly the only important one and I exist to be used and nothing else.

I love him. still. I’m broken, badly, but I’m trying, and I am so, so, SO FUCKING EXHAUSTED of being alive. 

someone who was a pretty fucking major part of my life has decided to show me, and tell me over and over and over again, that it’s not worth it for me to get better. anything he ever needed, all he had to do was ask. I could get vicious right now if I really wanted to, I have his parents’ phone numbers, and he made it a point to call mine and tell them I was their problem.

the only times we ever talked about shit that was wrong with me was the middle of a fight. so if there was something I needed to be told, like, for example, that my moods were cycling way too fast to be healthy and I should really talk to someone about that, or that I can be absolutely fucking vicious when I want to b - and I want to, fuck, fuck, I want to. 

this is someone I changed things about myself for. I was never quite this fucking needy with tony. I mothered him too much, I know that, it’s not like it hasn’t been discussed, but the levels I’m willing to go to for a mulligan on the last 12 months? 18 maybe? no hesitation. no doubt. if I thought it might bring him up to the hospital, I’d grab the 12″ chef’s knife or whatever it is and plunge it into my heart. fuckin’ things’ broken and useless anyway, just like the rest of me.

I’m tired of waking up in a bed I shared with someone, with the love of my life, I’m tired of stifling every violent and aggressive thought (towards myself or anyone else), and I thought, maybe for a minute, “damn, it’s nice to be good enough for someone” but I guess that couldn’t have been too much further from the truth. I don’t think you can say “I would blame myself if you killed yourself” then turn into your mother because something wasn’t exactly what you thought you were owed. almost a full year, I think that’s how long it’s been. since everything fucking fell apart on me. I went to therapy a little, to at least start, because that’s what you do, right? why would it have been just completely unreasonable to throw me a “hey you’re doing good” every once in a while? 

why is your mental health more important than mine? years, literal actual YEARS I stayed up with you, asked you to patch up wounds, walked you through talking to your parents and to him and anything else you needed. I know you’re not going to read this, why the fuck would you, but some sadistic little part of me wants you to, for you to think about it, actually think about it, and see how heavily you were leaning. this is a little bit of a childish metaphor, but do you know what happens if you take an unsteady stack of jenga blocks and push them to the side just a little? total destruction, chaos, ruin. 

I woke up nearly sobbing this morning, you want to know why? I had woken up for a minute in the middle of the night, and for some reason, I thought you were on your spot on the bed, like you weren’t close to me, but you were here. I’ve been letting my meds fuck me up (no point in keeping my brain together, if it kills me, who cares) and I woke up and I thought you were here. we didn’t talk, we just went back to sleep, until I made a move to get up and clashed hard down to the floor. probably bruised my back and my shoulders, but that told me that you weren’t there. I am broken, I’m empty, I’m not enough, I’ll never be enough, and while I absolutely do deserve to suffer for the things I’ve put you through, if you were never going to let me be better, why tell me you would? I don’t even need to talk often. just... fuck, a “hi” or a picture of the dog every once in a while or something... 

I knew I should’ve done this before christmas, now I have to wait until after my dad’s birthday in february. 

if you cared... hell, maybe I’d call he coaching line like I’m supposed to, or the 741741 text thing... 

I know I made you afraid of a monster. I’ve got half a strand of hope keeping me somewhat tethered to this reality, but that’s not going to last long. it won’t matter what I say to you because you’ll say something to her, and she’ll make me look more desperate, or say I just want what we physically had back, and that’s not it. I let myself be open with someone. we both found out how far that dark streak in me runs. you were the only thing keeping my head above water. 

and I can’t hear that I have to “do it for myself.” do you know how fucking hard that is? the friends you have, the family you have, the groups I now can’t even go to because you work there and it wouldn’t be fair for me to show up- I have nothing. I have this room that I’m in now, enough medication to do serious, serious harm... and no reason not to.

here’s what I’m going to do, just for tonight. take as many of these as I want, or think will help, put fiddler on the roof back on... and hopefully snap my fucking neck if I get up to go to the bathroom or something in the middle of the night. the best part is that nobody’s going to do anything, like maybe one person will poke at me on discord, but that’s all. a pretty sizable chunk of my inner circle (which is the only fucking circle I had to begin with) thinks I’m nothing more than a monster. thinks the only thing I can do is hurt. 

i want my morphine and i want to go to sleep that’s all i want i want the hurt to stop and nothing’s going to stop it i want it to stop i want it to stop i want it to STOP i know i’ve been a monster i’ve been abusive i yell i threaten i scream i provoke fear i’m the worst i know but i was doing better you were worth that to me that i was at least getting fucking better but who gives a shit it wasn’t fast enough for you ive never been enough i was just an easy enough foothold for you to climb 

if i hallucinate the sight of you again tonight it’s going to break me 

do i text you to tell you goodbye? you’ve already said it to me, fair’s fair, right? no, you’ll think I’m just being manipulative. trying to be controlling. I can’t see you in my dreams and wake up to an empty bed. 

you know what the worst part of this is, to me at least? I want to get better. I’m making the efforts (fuckin showed up to therapy today before realizing therapy is tomorrow), I try to watch what I say, I try to think before I open my mouth because that’s how fucking stupid i am maybe if I’m really good for long enough maybe something good will come out of it

who the fuck am i kidding the only good thing to come out of this will be that no one has to try to put the pieces back together again

if i had a bit of extra money right now i think i’d get myself one last piece of ornamentation

“I don’t wanna die, sometimes wish I’d never been born at all”

goodnight. I know you’re not reading this, but jeg elsker deg. with every shredded, broken, battered piece of my black little heart. at least you won’t miss me.

I know however many I take isn’t going to be enough to kill me but god do i fucking wish

all I ever wanted to be was enough and all i’ve ever done is let down every single person i’ve ever met, I took someone who loved me and distorted and ruined that, my family can’t even really give me reasons to hold on anymore. my mom looked like she didn’t really want to leave me here when they brought be back the other day. and i know it’s because she’s afraid but i’m so broken and so empty and so hurt I don’t want to do this anymore, I can’t, what’s the point of me suffering alone, really? why should I? all I can do is list off people who’d be better off if I was dead. family who won’t have to wait for that phone call anymore. people I’ve hurt letting out a sigh of relief that their tormentor is gone....

I’m going to take my meds and watch my movie now. I’ll post something in the morning if I make it through the night.