#this is the first time I've drawn Amber lol

[shiki-aki]

Any ShikiAki doujinshi recc? I've only read the tentacle one

THE FACT THAT I INSTANTLY KNEW WHICH DJ YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT WHEN YOU SAID "the tentacle one" LMAOOOO I LOVE THAT ONE IT'S REALLY HOT and Shiki is just so dom in it...

ohhh but this is a really fun question, thanks for asking! I do have some personal favorite Shikiaki doujinshi, but if you have time and are really hungry for content, I also recommend checking out all the Shikiaki doujinshi here: https://myreadingmanga.info/togainu-no-chi-dj/

Anyway I do have a few that I love to reread (and I'm gonna use this as an opportunity to gush about them lol) so I'll list them here. They're not in any particular order (except for the first one which definitely takes the spot as my favorite).

Ragdoll

(I recommend you actually read this doujinshi first before reading my thoughts here because I end up spoilering it oops, SORRY HAHA. I just have so many thoughts on this doujinshi and I love talking about it!)

This is my all-time favorite Shikiaki doujinshi because it's the one that really made me take a closer look at Shikiaki and search for the nuances in Shiki's route, back when I first finished Shiki's route. I think this artist truly understood the Shikiaki dynamic and the themes in Shiki's route, and it shows in their writing. Like I can't stress how important this doujinshi is to me lol, if it wasn't for this I would have likely just dropped Shikiaki as a ship and moved on, because yes on a surface level, Shikiaki does seem very shallow; I won't deny that, but when you dig deeper, you'll find that there's so many layers to the ship? I know that sounds incredibly cliche, but hey, that's what my meta is for lmao, so that I can actually explain my thought process behind why this ship is actually quite complex.

The artist nailed it in exploring the "possession" theme in the Shikiaki dynamic and how Shiki hides his true feelings for Akira behind framing it as Akira being his possession, but Shiki is also obsessed with who Akira is as a person and values him for the traits he has. Essentially it plays with the theme of Shiki objectifying, but also humanizing Akira at the same time, and like... the contradiction is just amazing because like I said in my meta, it adds nuance and depth to characters when they act in seemingly contradictory ways.

But the doujinshi doesn't just stop there; it also touches upon Akira's characterization and the theme of him obeying his own will, which I think is important when it comes to wanting to understand ED1. It's not that Akira follows his abuser because he's in love with Shiki; he follows Shiki out of his own free will, because Shiki was the only one to truly accept him and see him for who he is, and that's why Akira will accept Shiki for who he is, even if Shiki is in a catatonic state. Also this doujinshi opened my eyes to seeing how Shiki was the one to "bring back Akira's will to live," which is definitely a point I harp on a lot in my meta lolll.

This doujinshi also made me understand Akira's character arc, with Akira appreciating the beauty of nature for what it is in ED1, and how he wants Shiki to do the same. It shows the duality between them: neither Shiki nor Akira appreciated life for what it is, or even the fact of living. Shiki was too hellbent on his goal and pursued it in a self-destructive manner, while Akira viewed life as meaningless and didn't see a reason to pursue anything in life. So at the end of their character arcs, both Akira AND Shiki need to realize the importance of living in the moment so they can finally have a fulfilling life together.

tldr: this doujinshi changed my life and it's the reason why I'm stuck in Shikiaki hell

2. Amber Sunlight Lit Up the Jade Dewdrops

(GOD THE COVER ART IS JUST GORGEOUS)

This doujinshi is drawn by the same artist who did "Ragdoll," so you already know it's gonna be good lol. I love the angst in this, but also the soft fluff. Again this artist understands the Shikiaki dynamic really well and what their brand of subtle intimacy would look like. I do think Shiki is slightly OOC here, but only because the scenario itself falls into OOC territory (Shiki catching a cold lol). Otherwise I think the artist did extremely well in still executing the idea they wanted to draw while keeping Shiki's and Akira's characterizations intact.

3. Babelist

I love this ED2 doujinshi because of how possessive Shiki is lmao, like straight up, this is what I reread whenever I want to see Shiki acting super unhinged and possessive. It's just a really good portrayal of Shiki and Akira's dynamic in ED2, with Akira being loyal to Shiki (but also trying to maintain an air of professionalism between them despite their private, intimate relationship) and Shiki giving absolutely zero fucks and just wanting to show off to everyone in the army how Akira is his lmao.

4. A3

This is the first Shikiaki doujinshi I ever read and I'm glad it was my first because it's definitely unique. It essentially weaves all 3 Akiras from the EDs together into one universe and shows what kind of dynamic Shiki has with each Akira. What I adore about this doujinshi is how it shows that, despite how different in personality each Akira is, Shiki loves all of them in the end because they're still Akira. The line at the end of the doujinshi, "You're all mine. However, the one who was captured is..." just straight up makes my heart quiver because of how Shiki-esque it is. It may look like Shiki is the one in control of the relationship because he's the dom and he "owns" Akira, but his heart was captured by Akira and he's chained by the feelings he has for Akira. Essentially just a subtle but very elegant way of showing how Akira has power over Shiki, too.

5. Inushiki

Drawn by the same artist who did "A3," this is such a heartwarming, wholesome, and fluffy doujinshi. I definitely like to reread it a lot because it's one of the few Shikiaki doujinshi that isn't downright angsty lol, it's just so domestic and cute. Also Shiki with dog ears and a tail is just... mwah. He's gorgeous <3. And of course it isn't Shiki if he's not possessive (and horny) as fuck lmao. This is the one doujinshi that I so desperately wish there was a sequel of because it's just so adorable it makes me roll around in bed T_T.

6. Lost End

This one is more on the smutty side, but the art is really good! This artist is quite well known for their TnC doujinshi (they don't only draw Shikiaki but other ships as well so yeah a bit of fun for everybody xD). My favorite part is the ending though... definitely love to see Shiki and Akira having a soft moment together (and Akira wanting to touch Shiki is just. adorable). I don't know, I just really like Shiki being soft and affectionate with Akira after he wakes up in ED1 (*¯︶¯*).

7. Evil Lova

I think you might enjoy this one in particular as it focuses on Shiki and Akira's domestic fluffy life after Shiki wakes up. It's quite short but it still shows Akira taking care of Shiki and worrying over him lol.

8. Insert

This is a direct continuation of "Evil Lova" but instead of Akira taking care of Shiki, it's Shiki being pissed that Akira is babying him, so Shiki decides to turn the tables and take care of Akira instead xD. Again it's short but it's still super fun and sweet to read about. I definitely like to headcanon that Shiki would be annoyed at Akira coddling him after he wakes up in ED1, but he understands that it's Akira's form of affection lol.

9. Black Milk

This one is a unique spin on the Dog!Akira from the Arbitro end, where Shiki manages to whisk Akira away from the Palace lmao. It leans on the smutty side but I like how the artist showed Shiki's discomfort with Akira being physically affectionate with him. Kinda emphasizes Shiki's tsundere side and how he's not used to being kissed or touched so affectionately, but he lets Akira touch him anyway <3 (and Akira remembering Shiki's name is just. aww).

10. Mill Milk

This is a direct continuation of "Black Milk." Again, leans on the smutty side, but also some humorous moments here and there lol. I really like Akira licking Shiki like a dog and Shiki allowing him to, tbh I feel like it's something we wouldn't really see in Shiki's canon route/EDs, but I totally vibe with it lol. Plus it leans into the "dog" aspect for Akira and Shiki's route is the one where the master/pet dynamic is heavily explored. (also the nipple sucking is. excellent.)

AAAAAAAAAAAA ANYWAY SORRY THIS ENDED UP BEING SO LONG WOW I didn't mean to go on a tangent and rec so many doujinshi lmao but I hope you enjoy reading them!!! and thank you again for the ask :3 sorry I have so many Shikiaki thoughts lol

[girltomboy]

Been having nice days since the days have started getting longer (not by much but I've been daylight starved for so long I can definitely perceive the change) and it's been sunny all week here. Work is also fine although we're gonna be overwhelmed again soon but I think we're managing alright. I like my routine, but I wish I had more energy to do stuff after work; I feel like I have time but I'm too drained and just need to sit for a while afterwards. Which is odd because I already sit all day, right? Even if I don't feel like taking a nap, so like I'm not totally exhausted, but mentally I feel like I need to sit.

Last night was the second night in a row in which I dreamed of my church friend (who's a mega buff gymhead punk butch now 😍) and even though I often think about her it's odd to be suddenly dreaming of her so much now, since we don't have any means of contact. She lives abroad and is a visual arts student now, and I've been hesitant to add her on social media, can't really articulate why though. However, I've had periods of time during which I felt heavily and unexplainably drawn to a potential reconnection with her. But anyway, the other night I dreamt I was with her and we were running down a village street where there were some dogs too. At some point we ended up in a stranger's house, and we somehow tricked him and locked him in one of his rooms. I was super stressed though, my backpack with personal belongings and ID was in another room, and for some reason I was too scared to come out of the room I was already in, even though the house owner was now contained. I was afraid there would be more people in the house, or that he would somehow escape. My buddy was pretty chill though, and she was plotting and scheming something I know nothing about because I don't remember much anymore lol. At some point the house owner somehow poked his leg through the door and we started trying to come up with a strategy to solve this issue, and we were getting closer and closer to the idea of straight up hurting him. That was an awful dream, I think I even woke up because of it.

Last night I had another dream involving her, this time I think she was organizing an event at church. She was nervous about something as far as I can remember, and I was trying to comfort her and make sure things are in order to ease her mind a little. An interesting detail is that in my first dream she looked the way she used to; with long amber brown hair, whereas in the second dream her look was closer to her current one, with short dark hair. And in the first dream I was the nervous/scared one, while in the second dream she was more on edge and I was the calm one.

[phoartin]

decided to do a personality swap because Reasons

[castleoflions]

Happy 24th Birthday, Chloe Elizabeth Price!

Can u believe she gets to spend the whole day being spoiled rotten by her gfs in their Brooklyn apartment??? What a lucky punk.

[genshinarchives]

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐄𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐂𝐇. 𝟏𝟓

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝟏𝟓 : 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐀𝐂𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐀 𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘 : You were once told that ignorance is a bliss, and you think that you finally understand what it means.

𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐒 : Aether, Albedo, Baizhu, Bennett, Chongyun, Dainsleif, Diluc, Kaeya, Kazuha, Osial, Razor, Venti, Xiao, Xingqiu, Zhongli

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄 : Romance, hurt/comfort, reverse harem

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 : (Y/n) gets stabbed lol

𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑'𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄 : N/A

𝐍𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐆𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝟏𝟒

"I see," Jean murmured after listening to (y/n)'s explanation, "So what you're saying is that a malevolent being from Inazuma is causing the adventurers to fall in a coma? And that the only way to wake them up is to destroy the sword that controls the red mist they might have fallen victim to?"

(Y/n) nodded from her seat in front of the Acting Grandmaster's desk. Aether, who wasn't able accompany (y/n) because of some business he needed to take care of in Inazuma, had kept his word of arranging a meeting between her and Jean - but the former wasn't expecting Kaeya, Lisa, Albedo and Eula to be present in the room as well. They were all listening to the exchange between (y/n) and their superior attentively as the topic was concerning the safety and well-being of their nation.

"It'll be hard to find the right one though because all of the swords look identical. If we put ourselves in the enemy's shoes however, it's likely that the sword we have to destroy is in their possession," (y/n) said before pausing with an uneasy look, "But going up against a demon that lives on human flesh is the same as digging your own grave, so please leave the fighting to me. Only I can survive against such a formidable opponent."

"So the black katana Kaeya and I have been destroying all this time was wasted effort?" Eula questioned, folding her arms over her chest with a frown, "Had you told us this earlier, we would have spent that time on a task that would yield better results."

"It wasn't wasted effort," (y/n) quickly replied, standing up, "Is there a map of Mondstadt that I could borrow for a moment?"

"Here you go," Lisa said, unrolling a map of the country on Jean's desk before handing her a black marker, "And a marker, just in case."

"Thank you." (Y/n) gratefully accepted the marker from the librarian and then held it out to Eula. "Please mark the locations of the swords your team had found." When Eula nodded and took the marker from her, (y/n) turned to face Kaeya. "Once Eula is done, please do the same."

"Got it," Kaeya replied, walking over to stand next to Eula. After both captains finished marking the swords' locations, they took a step back and allowed (y/n) to assess the map. Using the marker that Kaeya returned to her, she connected the x's they had drawn; to everyone's surprise, they formed a perfect circle around the village of Springvale.

Jean whispered, "This is..."

"Small settlements with little to no security are easy targets for the demon. If Kaeya and Eula hadn't destroyed the swords they found, Mondstadt will not only have to deal with comatose adventurers but also a mountain of disfigured corpses," (y/n) uttered, tracing a circle around Springvale with her index finger, "And you wouldn't even be able to prevent the villagers' deaths because of the barrier the demon is able to summon with their swords. I've experienced it first-hand; it stops humans from leaving and entering."

"If their goal was to eat humans, then what was the point of the sleeping curse the adventurers have fallen victim to?" Albedo inquired, cupping his chin, "That's the only part I don't understand. Could this demon have another motive?"

She pondered over his question. "... I'm not sure myself. It could be possible that they were being used as test subjects-"

"This is an emergency!" The door to Jean's office suddenly slammed open, revealing a frazzled Amber. She hurriedly entered the room as Jean gazed at her with wide eyes, and everyone wondered what could have reduced the usually cheerful Outrider to her panicked state. "The Adventurers' camp near Dragonspine was attacked! The adventurers there require urgent medical support!"

Before Jean could further inquire Amber about the attack, (y/n) stepped forward and said, "Forgive me for stepping over the line, but I'll be going ahead to investigate Dragonspine. Our enemy might have fled to the mountains after attacking the camp."

"Wait, you shouldn't go on your own. It's dangerous," Eula interjected, placing a hand on her chest, "At least take me with you."

"No," came (y/n)'s immediate reply. She slightly turned on her heels to meet Eula's eyes. "I will investigate alone. You should stay behind with the others and protect the city in case something bad happens to me."

"But-"

"Trust her," Albedo and Kaeya uttered simultaneously. The men proceeded to lock gazes in surprise before looking away from each other awkwardly. Eula pursed her lips as she hesitated to take their suggestion, but she eventually relented and nodded with a soft sigh. While she has no evidence to back up her judgement, her intuition was telling that (y/n) is more capable than she appears to be.

Jean was also reluctant in letting (y/n) get involved with matters that should clearly be handled by the Knights of Favonius, but if both Albedo and Kaeya trust (y/n) to get the job done, then she should also try to place some of her faith in her. After all, (y/n) is the one who seems to know the enemy they're dealing with better than anyone in the room.

"Very well. Please be careful out there, (y/n)," Jean said, smiling at her encouragingly, "May the Anemo Archon protect you."

As (y/n) exited from Jean's office, she muttered under her breath, "As if he would."

❀

Lowering herself on one knee, (y/n) carefully examined the fresh footprints in the snow. It seemed like the perpetrator had left their tracks behind on purpose, as if they wanted to be followed. This was most likely a trap, so it was a good thing that she went to Dragonspine on her own. With a long, drawn-out sigh, she rose to her feet and followed the trail, which led her deeper into the mountains; after battling hilichurls and scaling the remnants of a broken bridge, she soon stopped in front of a large icicle that was blocking the entrance of a cave. As she pressed her palm against its cool surface, she noticed that the ice had an unusual blue hue.

'It looks like I can't melt this normally...' she thought. Summoning a small sphere of red lightning, she clenched her fist and then punched the ice, the impact leaving a noticeable dent behind when she retracted her arm. She punched the ice again, and this time, cracks appeared. They began to web out as she took a step back, and the icicle eventually shattered, allowing her entry into the cave. The moment she stepped inside-

"BOM BOM BAKUDAN!"

(Y/n) faltered upon hearing Klee's excitable yell before swiftly recomposing herself. What is she doing here? Without a second thought, the Transcendant sprinted in the direction of Klee's voice and soon came across the little red knight blasting a Cryo Abyss Mage into the tenth dimension. She skidded to a stop and almost crashed into a wall as she stared at the scene in bewilderment.

"Klee?" she called, making said child spin around to face her. With a beam, Klee bounced over to the older woman before throwing herself at her legs.

"Big sister (y/n)!" she squealed, "Thank goodness you're here to save Klee!"

Unlatching her tiny arms from her legs, (y/n) then crouched down to Klee's level and placed her hands on her shoulders. "How did you get inside this domain?"

Klee placed a finger on her chin as her eyes flickered up in thought. "Klee saw a man who was hurt on the mountain earlier. It looked like he was in a lot of pain, so she held his hand and brought him here since this is where he said he wanted to rest!" She then stamped her hands on her hips and beamed at (y/n). "Aren't you proud of Klee for helping someone in need?"

(Y/n) could only stare at her with wide eyes as a feeling of dread pooled in her stomach. Who... Just who did Klee meet? She subtly scanned their surroundings, beads of cold sweat dotting her forehead. There was no way for her to confirm her suspicions, but if her intuition turned out to be correct, then that means the person Klee brought into this domain is the demon she's after... and there's a strong possibility that he's here with them, hidden from view. She then spotted a wooden table in the farthest corner of the icy cave, where she could see some papers scattered haphazardly on the surface, and slowly rose to her feet.

"Big sister (y/n)?" Klee called, blinking curiously as she watched her approach the table, the ivory snow crunching softly beneath her weight. Not knowing what else to do, the young child quietly followed her and stopped when the latter halted in her tracks. Picking up the paper at the top of the pile, (y/n) began to read the printed words.

XX/XX/XXXX

A dragon had fallen into Khaenri'ah and was found by one of our alchemists. We immediately mobilised our private soldiers to capture it before news of its descent could reach the king, but the dragon had shifted into its human form and retaliated with its Vision. It appears to be in possession of a Pyro Vision, and it also claims to be an adeptus from Liyue.

The adepti of Liyue have the most robust body structure, so we had intended to capture it alive; however, we were forced to kill it in the end. While the bad news is that we don't have a live specimen, the good news is that this mistake will not impede Khaenri'ah's technology verification.

Project: Gungnir will continue as planned.

XX/XX/XXXX

The adeptus' human form is that of a young woman. Her corpse had to be quickly transported to the research facility, where her brain will be harvested and implanted into a new, artificial body born from the Transcendant gene we were able to recreate from our extensive research as part of Project: Gungnir. Fortunately, all of the necessary steps were conducted under ten minutes - before brain death can occur. The adepti are truly blessed with a tenacious life force.

We won't fail this time. I am certain that this Gungnir will be able to handle the Voice of God and not go insane like her failed predecessors. Gungnir's birth will be the start of a new world - an escape from the perpetual cycle this world is trapped in. She will become the destroyer of the Heavenly Principles.

XX/XX/XXXX

Her Pyro Vision has lost its light. Apparently, it's connected to the user's life which is very unfortunate, because I was hoping to implant it near her heart in order to mimic an Archon's Gnosis. There is no harm in trying however.

XX/XX/XXXX

The surgery was a success. After her awakening, we performed regular blood tests and detected strong traces of Electro energy which means that her Vision must have resonated with Electro. A small concentration of Pyro energy has also been detected, and this is my theory: because her brain remembers her as a Pyro Vision user, an anomaly occurred, causing the Electro Vision to be imbued with Pyro. According to our Transcendant research, combining Electro with Pyro produces the Blaze element. Such a phenomenon is only possible because of her Transcendant gene.

We will surely create the perfect weapon to oppose Celestia.

XX/XX/XXXX

Her mental state is showing signs of deterioration. We absolutely cannot fail for the seventh time.

One of our alchemists created a powerful spell called Crestoria that will help keep her mind stable and that will also grant her advanced regenerative abilities to ensure that her body does not break down easily. In addition, the one who possesses the command seal will have full control over her and can issue orders that she cannot oppose on her own free will - should she develop any in the future. The spell can create illusory pain to impose absolute obedience on her as well.

We fused Crestoria with her physical body which left a three-petal flower tattoo on her back. It is now a part of her and cannot be removed.

Project: Gungnir is complete.

Khaenri'ah has nothing to fear now.

She dropped the paper and took a shaky step back.

What is this?

Whose notes are these?

They mentioned Gungnir... Are they referring to her?

(Y/n) gasped audibly as she struggled to process what she had just read. She didn't know what to think, what to say-

"So you've read it. Do you see now? The ugly truth about you," someone suddenly spoke up behind her, making her freeze, "You are neither a human nor a homonculus..." As she spun on her heels to face the owner of the voice, a sword plunged itself into her chest and pinned her to the table. Her eyes widened when she recognised the person hovering over her body.

"Y-you're..." she whispered, her voice trembling with shock. Klee, who had somehow moved a few metres away from them, let out a terrified scream, her large eyes ripped open in terror.

The man gave (y/n) a sinister smile as his visible red eye glowed ominously.

"You're a monster."

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝟏𝟔

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 : @smoochi-modest @kyoukaiq​ @bobaducky @laugh-like-the-moon @selinatherealname​ @otomefan @niorawr​ @phoenixdaneko @lesmouche @electr0m1ko @lucy-roo @melkxsh @love-letters-4-u​ @justlynna​​ @noodleshark420​ @xioseu​ @muzanscumslut​ @lunavixia​ @falling4fandoms​ @coco-goat-milk​ @flowwerpot​ @idealwriting​ @lnrchii​​​​​​​​​

[willowcrowned]

For your commentary ask thingy:

"Obi-Wan smiles an impish smile, something Qui-Gon has seen countless times before, but here, in the light of the amber sea, with his world slowly turning upside down, it strikes him right between the ribs, straight through his heart, and he realizes something much, much, more dangerous than that Obi-Wan is beautiful—

Qui-Gon is in love with him.

It is a strange, perilous thing to realize, all the more alluring for the impossibility of his escape. The earth has not shifted beneath his feet, the galaxy does not spin differently— not as it had when Obi-Wan was gone. There is no change except that he knows. And if that is true— if the only change is him— then he has been in love with Obi-Wan for a long, long time."

I love this passage, and it has to be my favourite fic as well!! I love everything about Before I Knew I Had Begun, but I'd love to see your DVD commentary

Also you're not the only one a little tipsy lol I'm waiting to hear back about a scholarship for my PhD 😬😬

okay first off good luck on the scholarship!!!! that's such a nerve-wracking position to be in I hope everything works out for you!! second, thank you! It's VERY weird to hear that people like that fic (though even more welcome than weird) because I really go back and forth on it all the time. It was really only meant to be a fun stress relief fic I could dump some random scene ideas and dynamics into for fun, but I ended up actually working on it in a serious enough way that I started caring genuinely about the quality, and now a year on parts of it make me cringe. It's one of those things that just happens when you grow as a writer, so there is some good in seeing how I'd do it differently now, but I've never been under the impression that it's particularly liked, which makes the experience of keeping it up a bit worse. Hearing that people like it—that there's something really enjoyable about it (even if I can't see it) and that there's a good reason to keep it attached to my account—is really good to hear.

Now on to the commentary:

As I said, this fic was really just meant to be a jumble of scenes I wrote down for fun. The inciting one—or at least the first one I had in my head—was the flashback with the eyeliner, and I'd had it since December of 2020. It was the first one I wrote down, followed shortly by the yelling Obi-Wan does when Qui-Gon comes to find him in the third scene. The yelling is where I finally got an idea of what the overarching conflict could be, and realized I had the basis of a plot. The fragment here is, of course, the climax of that plot, where the second of the two conflicts finally comes to head.

While I was writing it, I was mostly thinking about the way it needed to incorporate the already resolved conflict—the miscommunication about Obi-Wan's place in Qui-Gon's life—into his realization. The fic is about Qui-Gon's assumptions, the way he lets things get by him when he thinks he knows what's going on, so him realizing what he's been missing is supposed to display the growth that's occurred after his discussion with Obi-Wan in the third scene. Qui-Gon here knows that Obi-Wan is important to him. He knows that he wants Obi-Wan in his life. What he's missing is the specific context for that desire—that he wants Obi-Wan in a romantic and sexual capacity as well as in the deeper, more important platonic way.

One of my struggles with this climax was how easy it was, because my instincts were telling me to make it difficult, to make it long and drawn out and hard to work through. But it actually needs to be easy, because Qui-Gon has already done the work—he's just waiting on the context. The first part of that context is the realization that Obi-Wan is beautiful, that he's attracted to Obi-Wan. The snippet you've chosen is the second, logical half of that. Now that he's accepted the attraction, he can accept there's yet another dimension of his desire he's been blind to: romantic love. Like Qui-Gon says: what Obi-Wan is doing is something he's done countless times before. It's just the context of his own knowledge that's different.

The first half of the fic is about Qui-Gon shaping the world around him. The second half is about Qui-Gon understanding the world he's shaped. This here is that resolution—him finally understanding what's been going on for year's, and accepting that's what's happened.

The other big thing in my head while I was writing this bit is that Qui-Gon absolutely Had to figure out he was in love while he was being made fun of, bc that man has the most weirdly developed sense of pride I've ever seen. blame dooku, I guess.

[ravenwolfie97]

ow

[akane171]

..If there were dogs around, I'm pretty sure I'd rather touch THEM than the GRASS😂🙈

I kinda doubt it, but hey, just means they're probably having the time of their lives in real life together😉😊

...If we're in a cottage away from humanity and I don't have any other obligations, I'd easily read a few hundred fanfics a day...😅 Downloading enough for a week would be very hard 😅🙈 And what if I miss updates??😱😱😭😭

The Kangaroos are perfectly fine, don't be like that! And lol, did you draw that yourself? That's so cool 😂😂😂

Yo, I'm just writing them down before I forget it, feel free to check them out whenever you want🤷🏻‍♀️😂 Oh, btw, got another few:

-"Follow you" by Bring me the Horizon -"Die for you" by Starset

-"I found" by Amber Run

-"I see you" by Leona Lewis

-oh, and not exactly a song-song but the One Piece Opening "One Day" is very fitting for Karamel too 🙈

Both sounds good 🤔😂 Just like Karamel too, Mon being the outer space stray puppy and Kara being like a cat in being very "I want you-I want you not" 😉😉😂😂

Awwww 😍😍😍 HappyGoLucky!Mon and Grumpy!Dragon 😍😍😍 I didn't know I needed this till you brought it up, but I dooooo😍😭😍😭😍😭😍😭

🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🙈

You guess?😂😂

Ohhhh, you're really hyping me now, I'M SO EXCITED!😍😍 And lol, I hate her anyway, I doubt I can hate her anymore than I already do😅🙈 But uff, now you have me really worried for Mon-Mon again🙈🙈🙈😭 But, aww, we get a flashback?😱😍😍

Ohhh, Viking AND magical?!?! Are you trying to kill me with AWESOMENESS?!?😱😱😱😍😍😍😍😍 (I've been thinking about Viking versions of them all day thanks to you and holy crap, how badass would ShieldMaiden!Kara (kinda like Lagartha from Vikings?) be?!😍😍 I kinda wanna even draw that now😂😂)

Uhmm... Uhm... *Innocently brushes of some non-existent dirt and whistles a random tune* ...I...might have been too busy to do more than think about stuff?🙈😅 I'm still undecided on how in-depth to make "Vergissmeinnicht" 🤷🏻‍♀️😅🙈 Not sure I wanna force myself to rewatch every episode of Season 3, sooo...🙈🙈 I might also be procrastinating a bit?🙈🙈🙈

Yeah, surviving is tiring enough 😉😂

XXX

well, touching grass would be dangerous then, you know, poops.

And I was right, lol, but at least they had a wonderful day together xD

Well, you would read and the write, and download the updates once per week. Sounds good.

Sure, you say that, but that ghost that is hovering around you says something different ==' nah, pleaseeeeeeeeeeee, downloaded, my and my drawning skills

Ok, so the songs. I forgot to mention that my karamel songs work for me in two categories: 1) I feel like I want to write a fic for that song and 2)make a fan vid with karamel clips in my head while the songs is playing

"Love Story" by Taylor Swift - well, I cannot make myself interact with her music, even if it's for fics or AMVs, sorry xD one exception, Safe and Sound!

"Just a Dream" by Nelly - wow, hip hop with actual music? O.o nice in general, just... angsty?

Wings" by Birdy - nostalgic? Works for me

"Flashlight" by Jessie J -nice.

Hold on" by Chord Overstreet, - yeah, i see that TT

"Stand by You" by Rachel Platten - didn't expect gospel choir xD

"Never let me Go by Florence+the Maschine,- hmn, youtube says I already see the vid, so probably LW sent me this as a karamel song too xD

"Arcade" by Duncan Lorence, - did you just… send me naked dude? XDDD I didn;t see this coming too, lol. But a ncie song

"Lovely" by Billie Ellish, I think this is teh first time I was listening to Ellish and well, nice violin at the beginning?

"Carry You" and "War of Hearts" by Ruelle - ooooh, nice, and I already have some km ideas circling in my head

Zella Day "East of Eden" and "Compass" (hypnotic I already know, I think I have seen a fan vid for my other fave ship) - cool, she has an unique voice

"Infinity" by James Young - song for a Mxy ep? XD

-"The Night We Met" by Lord Huron - depressing xD but fitting, unfortuntelly

"Northern Downpour" by Panic!At the Disco - I think this is the first time I listen to their song too xD nice

"Atlantis" by Seafret - i was too distracted by the… awesome vid to focus on connection with karamel, sorry xD but… just wanted to point out that onec again this song is ANGSTY - i see a pattern, mate =='

"Shattered" by Trading Yesterday - angst…. again?

-"Die for you" by Starset - nice, i can see putting it into some angsty karamel fan vid… oh look, angst again!

"I found" by Amber Run - reminds me a little of RHODES and Your Soul, so yep

-"I see you" by Leona Lewis - I think I know her Bleeding Love? and ohh, song from avatar.

Yeah, that's Kara.

MAYBE I will write it. I need some big dramas for the background noise and so far I don't have them figured out, so.. And firstly I need to finish other projects =='

Well, I was thinking about Mon-El bieng The Watcher Of The Dead, some dude who helps the souls go to afterlife, someone who is bascially feared, becasue you know, DEATH, BODIES and a crow who listens to him. As for Kara, she stays with her cousins in different village that is attacked by Mon's people and accidentally she is defeated by him (she loses concious and wakes up as his slave - you know, smiliar in Vikings era, just for a year). And she is pissed off, because she is shield maiden and a cool warrior and now she needs to take care of his house that is remoted and some crazy grandpa (loves to walks naked with a chicken on his shoulder). But well, Mon is in danger, someone wants to kill him, big drama, she saves his ass but then he takes her back to her family and... i have of course a km ending aka once per year the people can get married, but for a shield maiden, she can marry a guy who defeats her in a fight and... things happen.

Let me say - MHM =='

As for Definitely... holy crap it seems I will need another chapter, kill me TT

Ok, so more songs for you.

Memories by Within Temptation (yes, i love them)

Through The Ghost by Shinedown

Roses and Carnival of Rust by Poets of the fall

Breathe by off Verona

Un break my heart by Toni Braxton (because ANGSTTTT)

Kiri by Monoral

Love me again by John Newman (as a perfect song for them when they meet AND STAY together again)

Energize me by After Forever.

Chasing Twisters by Delta Rae (EP version)

That's for now, more incoming (evil laugh)

If you celebrate it, Happy Easter Friend! :) If not, happy weekend ;D