#this is the first thing ive drawn in months LOL

[darqx]

Aren't you tired of being nice?

[wilted-xilk]

all hail father flesh

[symilk]

future mr and mrs tims on their first date 💐

[aroonescape]

wip of iii

[vjonk]

here he is!

[nickisnecromancy]

Some kind of dragon thing

[koiifiishy]

back with more eris doodlings :-) ! and more under the cut

i've decided that if he had a title like the named npcs, he'd be Eris The Defiant. also decided that if he were a npc LI with a toggable gender changer, he'd look pretty much the same as a girl just with a few cups up in the chest dept. lol - he's also still be trans, so you either get transmasc or transfemme eris, there is no cis option.

going off of this post for heights! (too lazy to draw an entirely new img - just scribbled over the height comparison models -w-) a full line up + eris amongst the taller LI's (...of whom he's already met / has interacted with in game thus far!). he's just one inch smaller than kylar haha, which im sure kylar would love. avery with eris though is LOL (stares at the other three on that height list......... that height diff... hes getting FOLDED. . .)

this chart is very messy so bear with me & the yellow i used is hard to read so ill type it out too!

Robin

mutual besties. they're basically brothers! except that robin left his confession note for eris and eris is uh.. willfully ignoring it,,, sorry robin he's not gonna take you up on that (yet lol)

img text: "if anything happens to robin (again) i'll kill everyone in this town and then myself"

Sydney

what is it about this unassuming churchboy that calls to eris... he doesnt know,, but sydney makes him happy 🥺!!

unintentionally uuuh reduing sydney's purity by being horny at him. theyre promised ok?! its fine right?!? especially bc of the fucking SLOW BURN they went through omg...

img text: "he makes this shit town bearable. BF" sydnet img text: "really adores and admires him. BF"

Kylar

um. well. your honor, he's just misunderstood..! eris kinda feeds into kylar's IssuesTM by not dissuading him. he just feels kinda sorry for him,,! this opinion Will change if/when kylar finally gets his greasy little paws on eris

he 100% realizes kylar is unhinged and the plushie gift was probs bugged somehow. still accepted it but like... he's hardly home anyway so w/e. still holds onto hope kylar can change(???)

img text: "haha. i'm in danger :^)" kylar's img text: "HAVE MY FUCKING BABIES" lol

Whitney

literally beat the shit out of each other every time they were in close proximity for like a month, until whitney's dominance meter dropped a lot. he confuses eris... does he like. have a crush and is acting like an elementary kid about it??? use your words damnit!

despite it all... doesnt hate him. eris feels like theyre probably a lot more similar than whitney's letting him (or anyone) see. sydney's mention of whitney having things going on to make him act like a little shit stuck with eris. . .

img text: "stop giving mixed messages whitney!"

Avery

the most cut and dry of them: it's just a transactional sugar relationship. except the part about the elk/fox bullshit? hello?? mr avery??? WHAT WAS THAT AVERY--?????

eris really doesnt trust avery,,, but he pays him a LOT & eris has two whole debts to pay off;; avery is only allowed to hit it from the back. . . (thanks temple for not counting that as sex ig lol!)

im iffy on the designs ive drawn for them too, i mostly have been going off of what i see the general fandom draws! theres a lot of really nice designs :> im being mindful not to fully copy anyone tho.

i also went insane and made eris a playlist - it has a lot of metal/loud songs jsyk! remains of us was specifically put on the playlist for sydney 🥹 just recently had my first run in with the ivory wraith too =D AH. TRAUMAS OBTAINED!!! very much eris' top trauma event so far!! he's resilient... so he's on the road to recovery but boy was that RUFF. robin and sydney came in super clutch with comforting him tho :")

one last thing for you all:

eris core lol

[calcium-chan]

DRAWMEGLE DUMP FROM LIKEFORVER AGO

drawmegle was this weird little website that was like omegle, except for drawing and nominally fewer nazis?? tho at launch that was a bit of an issue lol (idk the creator went on vacation right after advertising or something? oops). i got sucked into it for like a day or two and ended up drawing a bunch of stuff. ive lost some of it because there was this weird glitch that just deleted my drawings before i could save them or anything. OH WELL. thats also the reason some of these are slightly unfinished. im also going to be cropping most of these to just my side, exceptions where its funny, or the other persons art was nice or whatever. just know that these almost all had people on the other side who were also drawing their own thing. also of note, i wont be posting these in order of creation, its mostly arbitrary tbh

this first one is of haru from dorohedodo. i had just finished reading the manga about a month or so prior, and i really loved this character a lot. disregard the amogus or whatever. dorohedoro is really cool and its really special to me now. not a fan of the anime adaption but what the fuck else is new (im sorry if you like the anime, i just didnt like the style very much). Q hayashida is brilliant, and she clearly just really loves women like a lot, thank you miss Q!

next is this silly drawing of knives chau. scott pilgrim takes off had just aired, and i was slightly enamored with knives for a bit, i kin the scott pilgrim girl fucking sue me. i also drew kim, but the drawing deleted and this was the last save i had WAHOOOOOO its so fucking over. scott pilgrim takes off was obviously really really good in my opinion, and its like the perfect way to adapt an original work in my mind. uh shout outs knives or whatever.

oops shitty cowboy bebop drawing. i like this one well enough for how goofy it is. jets fucking face still kinda gets me. i love bebop a ton, but i dont think ive ever drawn the characters despite that. theyre actually a ton of fun to draw, like their shapes are all super varied and they have distinct style about them. very good cast of characters. i didnt even realize or mean to, but i kinda gave spike a fucking granny face, oops

uuuuhthese pissing dogs are really funny, they were fun to draw, and seeing peoples reactions to this one in particular was cool. having even a little bit of ability to draw on sites like this where randos are looking at your work as youre drawing it is always kind of an ego boost. like none of these drawings are really that great, but for the medium im happy with them, and having people show up and go "woah" was always really flattering and it was fun watching the other people draw and interacting with them in some limited capacity.

ggggundam bullshit. i left the other persons side this time because i thought it was kinda funny. i had been rewatching the early part of turn A gundam, and it really reminded me how fucking cool that series is? loran is like top 10 gender non conforming mech pilots (there are a surprising amount honestly). and it always kinda takes me off guard when i watch any gundam because they were just so forward thinking in a nominally "boy" coded genre. shoutouts the fucking gundam staff frfr.

@oretal joined me for these next two!

a lot of the shit in the second drawing is probably totally incomprehensible to like anyone outside of a select group. were both have that like, 3ds era nintendo brain parasite, so a lot of these are just weird obscure game characters or memes, or just straight up OCs. most of these are actually oretals little characters which have kind of entered that inside joke canon of being so ubiquitous between the two of us (and honestly i assume oretals friend group at large) that i kinda forget "glasses girl" isnt a well known character. many such cases. thank you oretal for drawing silly shit with me! i really like your drawing of james and your madotsuki yapping about blunt rotations to uboa. very cool

uuuh quick fire round of stuff i dont like how i drew but want to post anyways. the first one is my irl husband, aki from chainsaw man. i love him a lot, kinda hate this drawing tho, i think it was the first one i did? the second one is basil from omori, im a big fan of little blorbos who peep the horror, and basil is no exception. my friend got me the little vinyl figure of him for my birthday so i end up thinking about him a lot and i doodle him every now and then. very good design. the last one is kiruko from heavenly delusion. i did not have much hype going into the show after my middling feelings on summertime rendering (they were both in the news for being on disney+ for absolutely no reason). i dont remember what got me to watch it, but by the time episode 2 ended i was stuck in big time. i ended up binging the whole series in like one night and it was such a good time. the prototypical calcium show is probably somewhere between heavenly delusion and made in abyss. its a rough watch at times, but if you have this specific brainrot, its probably one of the best in its league tbh.

second to last is this drawing of vriska homestuck. i kept the other side because it was really pretty. im genuinely quite pleased witht his drawing, its not perfect but for what it is i find it visually appealing enough to like it. vriskas design is probably the best in homestuck, at least to me. its been a long time since ive read through homestuck proper, but something about these little shits sticks with you pretty much forever. actual fucking deadly brain parasites you get from dunking your head underwater in an infested pool, dead within days.

OOPS ALL KUMI CHAN! it had to be alien nine, it could only be alien nine. i love alien nine more than i love any of my blood relatives. kumi is literally me, i love this stupid fucking series so much you have no idea.

[variousqueerthings]

the ask meme for due south cause yeah! and cobra kai

thaaanks -- will do cobra kai separately!

DUE SOUTH! I'VE ONLY HAD YOU FOR (checks) TWO MONTHS? NOW? AND I HAVENT EVEN WATCHED PASSED SEASON TWO BECAUSE I AM TAKING MY SWEET TIME!!!!! BUT OHHHHHH OKOKOKOK

my favorite female character Meg!!! doubly so because I feel she's probably not popular because she's designated The Love Interest. but she's sooo "puts her under a microscope." - she's so very autism flat voice/resting bitch face coded - add to this she canonically has had issues with male superiors in the past and so her trust in men is Lowww means people around her read her as a bitch (and she is, bless her) - her interactions with fraser, especially once they begin to acknowledge there's mutual smthin going on there, are so fucking funny, because neither of them can just have conversations, it's gotta be a mix of powerplay/who-knows-what-this-is/wants to step on/wants to be stepped on nonsense and so often it's in public!!!! - she was introduced as an authority figure and pretty much has remained so all season, so a lot of her scenes aren't only about love-interest stuff, which is often where female characters fail to get fleshed out -- she's doing her own thing, and if anything, liking fraser is very very annoying to her because she's got shit to do dammit!

my favorite male character fraser and rayv come as such a set pair, argh. the things i like about fraser are the things that rayv corresponds to, the whole martyr-and-guy-who-refuses-to-let-him-be-martyr, the need to give everything and the guy who takes some of the strain, but... i do think fraser edges him out Just (not that kind of edging, stop), because in my heart of hearts, i am always drawn the most to characters who want to be used, characters who want to give every piece of themselves, and within that, characters who are very capable -- AND he fulfills the criteria for another one of my favourite character archetypes, the not-so-talked about butterfly-under-the-wheel (as i first heard @gjdraws call it) he's an atypical version of it, because usually the butterfly-under-the-wheel is partially defined by their inability, that is, they exist to create wonderment/beauty/hope in the world around them, but they don't actually have very many skills and would probably die without the far more pragmatic other characters around them. they do sometimes have a skill (see, lito in sense8) and where fraser fits is that while he has many skills, they're often impractical for survival in the specific world he's in (chicago, capitalism, Society) and his alienation with the world, his unique way of looking at it, constantly makes said world dangerous for him in ways ray has to help him with. he also sucks with money (very common in this type), is considered almost unreal in terms of attractiveness, and ofc... suffers a lot. my sweet sweet butterfly-on-the-wheel

my favorite book/season/etc feels unfair between two seasons -- i will say, i called s2 a denouement the first time i watched it and i think now im watching it slower i am far more able to see it on its own merits, without s1 hanging over it if i do a favourite amount of episodes divided by the amount of episodes in the season however and don't count the Pilot [i leave to calculate] think s2 has more of my very favourite episodes, but i think s1 is more evenly placed in quality overall. what does that tell you? idk, the Pilot's the favourite, shall we say?

my favorite episode (if its a tv show) lol um. toss up. (not counting Pilot) in no particular order: some like it red, mask, vault, north, letting go, the deal, a hawk and a handsaw

my favorite cast member going by amount of other things ive watched, it must be PG, but i have tried to mostly stay away from the cast in interviews and the like

my favorite ship relationship generally (romantic, platonic, third thing, you know the deal) is fraser and ray. like i said, they're thematically a pair, that's just what they are. but i have a reaaal need to explore meg and fraser and ray, considering the shenanigans of two people who feel various kinds of unhinged things about one emotionally somewhat oblivious (but very caring) man

a character I’d die defending gosh, this'd probably go to meg too. specifically her relevance! i think her addition in s2 is incredibly welcome and changes up the dynamics in interesting ways and if you take in her actual personality -- that is, look beyond her "just" as a love interest, she's got a whole lot of interesting foundation, fascinating speech patterns and behaviours, and chemistry with fraser (whether one wants that chemistry to be romantic/sexual is obvs subjective, but their scenes together are Good and tell us a whole lot about both of them in my opinion) i'd also defend victoria As A Scheming No-Good Villainous Person, because I think there's no need to soften her in order to make her cool, idk if that is being done, but i would die on the "her being absolutely terrible" hill is great actually (maybe i'm defending her from some of the writing not wanting to commit, despite... literally all the atrocities... she shot dief!!!??? she burnt down his dad's cabin????? she framed him and tried to send his most important person to jail??????? murder????? and you're telling me that despite all of that she wasn't manipulating him by batting her big beautiful eyes and pretending to be the victim! i desire cruel women in my life dammit!)

a character I just can’t sympathize with i mean... looks above. victoria? but i think she shouldn't be sympathetic anyway. she needs to be a bit vile, a bit fucked up, a bit possessive and destructive for my taste oh and fuck frank zuko of course

a character I grew to love 1. irene! i struggled with her on my first watch and now she's in so many of the private discussions i have about this show -- she does sadly fall right into "fridged woman for man angst" but there are more than enough bits in there + carrie anne moss' performance is absolutely stellar, that you can really feel her as a character as well -- someone trapped, searching for freedom, and nostalgic for something that was probably never going to work out even if they had been able to try it and bitter and stronger than people in the story give her credit for (and ohhhh where's that fic you wrote about her and fraser talking!) 2. frannie. i needed until s2, because s1 just... kept making her weird and stalkery and shallow in ways that i had to just, at times, mentally rewrite (her total lack of situational awareness whilst her brother is drowning in front of her only to be put upon when he's been saved and needs "her good blanket" to keep him warm is like. i simply do not see that scene). but after heaven and earth, beginning with that scene between her and ray, she changes! and you can buy someone building a fantasy and refusing to step out of it because of pain until jolted back into reality and it being a very subtly tragic thing, only to bounce back and take it on the chin. that's frannie!

my anti otp um. i guess fraser and allosexuality/alloromance. that man's relationship to these things is not normative -- he may be analysed to enjoy sex or to want romance, but textually he is so fucking leftfield with these things that if those underpinnings don't exist i can't understand him. my man was canonically asking people to describe what love is supposed to feel like as a 30+ year old man, and had had sex like... possibly once in his 20s (and the consensual aspects to it are vague) and then that same woman at one point in his 30s, who first severely emotionally blackmailed/coerced him and later threatened his life and the lives of his friends that and like. whatever happens to him whenever someone (meg, usually) pushes him around/grabs him/orders him about

hon. mention to elaine, who i feel has been slowly given less to do in s2 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[chimkin-samich]

Hi!

I have had a block for both writing and drawing for several years. I look at your works with longing in my eyes and think how wonderful it would be to draw regularly again. I was never particularly talented and had many gaps in learning to draw, but I enjoyed it. Now I don't know how to start drawing or writing. My laptop is full of unfinished stories. I have lots of ideas for drawings, but it's hard for me to get down to work.

Therefore, my question is: Do you have any advice for people who haven't drawn/written for several years and would really like to get back to it, but can't motivate themselves, have no ideas, etc.? Or quite the opposite. They have lots of ideas, but for some reason they can't draw anything?

Greetings and have a nice morning/day/evening/night!

Hello! Sorry it took so long to respond, I wanted to make sure I could respond properly to this so I thought it over a lot, I’m going to put it under a read more cuz it’s gonna get long lol

I (sly) am kinda in the same position as you at least when it comes more to art, writing ive kinda cracked the block but still trying to break through the ice, all the art on our blog is Ferals art, I only complete the line work and shading (but not always) I haven’t drawn any of my own stuff in probably a few years but I’m trying to get back into it cuz I miss it as well, I completely get the whole feeling of looking at Feral’s art and wanting to create my own but finding it so difficult to do

For the art aspect my plan is to start at square 1, start how I first starting drawing, which for me was to look up refs, animals and draw them by sight, just to get back into the groove of trying to bring back that muscle memory, maybe you started by tracing images, you could trace only the rough outlines and then shade and detail them, just something simply and easy, you probably won’t be happy with the results (I know I certainly won’t be with my own) but it’s a start

Look up things that you enjoy, draw your squad, incorrect quotes to do with ocs maybe even draw them out, try and keep it simple, you don’t need to create a masterpiece on the first day back, any attempt is a step forward even if you dislike it, try it out at least once a day everyday, a simple doodle just for fun or to exercise your muscle memory again, the first part is gonna be hard and messy, that’s totally ok! All that matters is the attempt!

For the writing aspect try and keep it simple as well, focus on making short one-shots or even just bullet point dialogues, your old unfinished writing isn’t going anywhere, when you feel comfortable enough to attempt to continue it just go for it!

I had a big gap in my writing periods and sometimes I still go a few months with out touching any of my stories, blocks happen and are normal, something that I try to get back into is read other people’s work, both to see the writing style and to get some inspiration to continue my own works

When I actually get down to actually writing my story I just dump down the story as I think it, I just keep writing even if it looks messy and grammatically incorrect to at least get the story moving and progressing. After I have the rough story down, is when I go back to correct spelling mistakes, add more details/dialogues or events in between to create a much better flow for the story

I usually do this multiple times for each fic I create, usually in between pauses (either due to blanking on ideas or just cuz I wasn’t feeling it) so whenever I reopen my doc, I just reread and add on, then I do it again one or two more times once it’s completed

I struggle a lot with perfectionism when it comes to my art and writing, and unfortunately it’s a big killer for my motivation, especially when I see others that make better works than me. I’ve been slowly unlearning that urge to make everything perfect, by just allowing myself to have messy and rough works, it’s not always going to come out how I want it but at least I got it as close as I could in the moment with my current skill level

I like to tell myself, the more I keep doing it, the more I’ll improve, and I’ll always be able to come back with more ideas and skill to remake this better than my first attempts, just because I did it doesn’t mean I can’t try to do it again

Being easier on yourself does wonders (I know easier said than done unfortunately 😭) but your practically having to relearn skills that have gotten rusty, even if you were doing great before, your gonna have to build back up to that point, it’s just like exercising a muscle ✨

I hope this was able to help! I wish you much luck in your journey back into art and writing!

[joeloverture]

hiya vetty! long term lurker first time caller here!

i hope this doesn't come off in a bad way but ive been lurking and reading your posts for awhile and i wanted to ask your experience as a plus sized person and "dating" (only if you're willing and happy to give it) how did you get comfortable enough to make the first move on your partner? as a bigger girl i rarely hear success dating stories. most men (if they're thin and in shape) are open and happy to admit they dont date plus sized women and if they do they fetishize us or try to keep us secret. is your man a big guy too because usually theyre more open to dating girls that are not stick thin

any advice is helpful and thanks in advance youre a real one!

hi honey! happy to see you in my inbox and also happy to answer <3 it’s something i grappled with often when i was younger. i regularly thought id never find any type of love or ever be sexually attractive to someone. but here we are

so first off when i met him, i was a size 18/20. i say that to contextualize it, because i am now a size 14/16, which some (or most) people consider midsize. so i know those are two very different things but i still asked him out as a size 18/20! additionally im also an hourglass (or a pear… kind of can’t tell the difference tbh but most people ive talked to about this consider me an hourglass), so more “conventional” than some other plus sized bodies. i have curves and ass and tits, basically. and to be successful in dating you do not have to have those things as a prerequisite! but that’s what was going on physically on my end.

j, ill call him, is extremely lanky and skinny lol. like he has moderately muscled arms and thicker thighs/ass but for the most part he can’t gain weight to save his damn life.

for gaining confidence, it’s genuinely a you thing. im just persistent and stubborn and have a “what’s the worst that could happen” attitude about many of my social relationships.

im a very well rounded person. i can hold conversation. i have achievements, ambitions, passions, and hobbies. im also pretty adventurous. you should always seek to find a partner that finds you attractive, but more so one that finds your soul attractive.

ive never had trouble finding a relationship simply because… well, im forward. when im drawn to someone i let it happen and refuse to let myself get in my head about any bodily insecurities. why deny myself the chance to make a connection? to have something meaningful out of this?

something as arbitrary as weight isn’t going to stop me from that.

i am also super picky about who i choose to let in. if i get bad vibes im cutting it off immediately. if someone sexualizes me because of my weight, absolutely not. if someone tells me i should lose weight, also absolutely not! commonality in personhood is so much more important than physicality.

me and j were flirty friends for probably 4-5 months before we pursued anything remotely sexual together. and that’s because of that sort of commonality. the ability to keep and maintain a connection that is meaningful.

i know it’s easy to get stuck in your head about it, but consider trying to work through any mental roadblocks about your weight in relationship to the value you hold. a partner that is worthy isn’t going to see you as a body, but rather as someone that they adore.

[jessicameleon]

i have a thing that i say wrt the pokemon fandom that's basically, everything that's new is shit but this game that came out 10 years ago is my favorite. that's the way people think it follows that pattern

the most shocking example of this has been the way gen 5 has been treated, it's like fucking revisionist history out here, it's wild. i remember back in 2013-14 when i started really joining the community at large, EVERYONE said that gen 5 was their least favorite gen, they called the designs stupid and uninspired, especially insulting vanillite and trubbish and klink and litwick. LITWICK! suddenly in like 2018ish gen 5 started to be everyones favorite. they said the story was amazing and the designs were cute and i grew up with these games its nostalgic

in 2016, i was in my senior year of high school in study hall when the sun and moon announcement trailer dropped, and i was HYPED. the games wouldn't come out until after id graduated, but it was love at first sight for me. particularly because of lillie, who i see as a trans allegory (i started hrt the same month sun and moon came out) and she ended up becoming my favorite pokemon character and one of my favorite characters of all time. in particular, i thirsted hard for moonlily. i scoured tumblr for nearly every piece of moonlily art i could find, and i reblogged them all. if you've ever drawn a piece of moonlily art, there was a good chance i was there day 1 reblogging it. moonlily was pretty popular for its time too, so there was a pretty descent amount being made as well

then, in 2018, pokemon sword and shield came out. they were good games and i liked them. but something changed in the public consciousness. suddenly, gloria and marnie DOMINATED, and pushed moonlily away. there were memes, there was art, there was animations, people loved them! and then, as people do, a few people started being really loud about how much it sucked that not all 800 pokemon would be in the game, and this one tree looked kinda bad in one prerelease screenshot, and then everyone decided sword and shield were the scum of the earth. people kept posting gloria and marnie a bit, but a lot of it ground to a halt.

now, its 2025. i have reblogged nearly every moonlily art that has been made as soon as it was posted for years now. usually that'd be once every few months, sometimes longer. but listen, something is changing. the tide is shifting in terms of enjoyment for sun and moon. back when the games came out, the public opinion was "too many cutscenes, i just mashed through them all didn't read lol i just wanted to get to the end and battle i didn't care" and lots of "lillie was so annoying she shows up and follows you around everywhere and doesn't do anything".

but anyway, i just wanna say that as someone who was here the whole time, ive been seeing new moonlily art every couple days and by several different artists and ive never been happier. i knew it was only a matter of time, since itd happen to every game eventually, but im happy that people are finally recognizing how good sun and moon are. please keep it up 💖

[silentlilyy]

can’t believe the first thing i finish in months is essentially dracula (the book) fanart. anyways here png i had to draw for a project bc it’s been a while since ive posted something that wasn’t drawn on my phone lol

(one day i’ll lock in and bring out the drawing tablet for FE fanart. one day)

[raeygina-george]

All the questions you wanna anwser

(this is from an old ask game)

1. When did you start creating art?

erm idk.... 2019 or so?

2. Do you do art in any professional capacity? (Graphic design, commissions, animation, etc.)

not yet but im planning on being an art teacher

3. What are your favorite subjects to draw? (OCs, your fan faves, etc.)

anime characters..........

4. What's your least favorite part of the body to draw, if any?

hands or really any part of the body that's in perspective

5. What piece of art are you still proud of to this day? (Show or describe)

i'm not particularly proud of any of my pieces but here are some that i still really like :) (i also really like that one mari & sunny lily of the valley piece that i'm not attaching directly bc i don't wanna trigger tag)

6. Favorite and least favorite angles/perspectives to draw?

i don't really have any... what's easiest is just straight-on, but that looks boring, so I can't realistically say it's my favorite... but if it's hard then I don't like it either.... sigh

7. Who are some artists that have inspired you?

see okay the thing is. artists that inspire me seem to always have an art style that i Can't Really Replicate. like i've seen so many of those painterly-style ethereal anime girls and pieces with the most gorgeous fucking colors ive ever seen in my life and they look SO PRETTY but i just Don't Understand Them At All 😭😭

so i'd say rixypill because recently i saw one of their art pieces and the amount of relief it brought me was insane. it was a gorgeous gorgeous art piece AND it looked like something i could realistically achieve. i didn't even really realize it but for such a long time i was trying to turn my art style into Something Completely Different and idk it just made me realize that i could make beautiful art Without having it stop being My Art

8. How would you describe your art style?

pink (with guest appearances from purple, orange, yellow, and blue)

9. What's the longest you've ever suffered from artblock?

several months

10. How do you deal with art block?

i don't <3 (I do challenges with predetermined prompts, and you can add deadlines if that helps you)

11. Have you ever drawn a meme with your OCs or canon characters from a fictional media?

yeah, i think i've made mini-animatics for like 2 vines. i don't do enough art shitposting tho

12. Ever participated in a multi-artist collaboration (3 or more) such as a multi-animator project?

i mean i did like 2 meps when i didn't understand what the fuck I was doing but i don't think those can really be counted........ i've done like art telephones and 3-person art trades but nothing really outside of that

13. What kind of art do you personally not see the appeal of, and why?

i think all art has appeal if you look hard enough

14. Do you prefer to make fan content or original content?

fan content

15. Do you/have you participated in Artfight or art trades in general?

i've done artfight in the past but i don't think i'll do it again because i'm usually really busy in july and even if i'm not i really struggle with doing anything for artfight 💀 i've done a good amount of art trades tho and if any of mutuals are interested in art trading with me feel free to ask :D

16. What was something you used to struggle to draw with confidence/ease, but have now mastered?

i don't think i've mastered anything really 😭 but i'm definitely a lot better at eyeballing colors than when i first started!!

17. Your personal favorite works of art (not made by you) are...?

there are lots of really awesome works in this world that i really like and if i didn't list like 500 different artworks i wouldn't feel like i'd answered properly so im gonna sit this one out lol

18. Do you typically use filters on your art?

yeah, i use saturation filters + gradient maps + blending modes at the end of every piece

19. What's your biggest insecurity when it comes to your artwork?

i have so many 😭 i'm in the "i hate all my art" stage of improvement rn..... aside from that, i hate that a lot of my art is so boring.... like there's not a lot of interesting perspectives or actual Meaning... that's the main reason why i made ychallenge! i want to make pieces that invoke emotion & mean something to me and aren't just there to look pretty

20. What motivates/inspires you artistically? (topics, emotions, etc)

fandoms mostly! if i was doing solely originally art i'd make maybe like one thing a year

[cosmobrain00]

alrght. ive been putting off making this post for a long time for personal reasons but i think i need to finally just get this out of the way bf I get any more questions- so:

if u r/ were a fan of my fic series/ motr im sorry to say im officially going to put it on hiatus for the foreseeable future for several reasons:

(these r all directed at motr, not the others before it)

im no longer happy w how I dealt w many things in this fic n how it's going, nor am I impressed w most of the quality of it. there's too many things i feel the need to change n it makes it extremely difficult to continue when all I want to do is rewrite the entire thing or delete motr entirely.

continuing on w this theme- I dont like the route I went when dealing w will's grief n all of the missed potential for his pov tht I wouldn't be able to get back at this point.

the potential of the plot twist tht will happen is going to be diminished bc of how I ended up writing the chapters.

it's. so. fucking. long. alrdy this series for me is extremely long n to wrap up wht ive started would take more patience n time than I have now bc of the way I decided to write this- not to mention how the length keeps distancing itself from the first work- which idk rlly how to explain to ppl but it bothers me somehow so. hm

its not just abt "taking a break" either bc I have. for 3 whole months. evrything I try to see for it either makes me upset bc I wish I could've done so much differently or it ends up being too in depth.

im struggling w at least two plot holes tht I cannot get a handle on n its extremely irritating to try to wrap up all the things I tried to start n. yeah

if u couldn't tell im extremely frustrated lol. n yes bf u say it ik this might seem abrupt considering I just posted a snippet of it, however the more I looked at it n the scene it only made me realize how much ive wasted in regards to the plot n how drawn out ive made it.

anyways, I have more reasons but these r the most glaring ones (n the most spoiler free ones) n once again I am sorry, but imo this is better than deleting it, so thts why im going to leave it. if I decide once ive sat on this for a bit to make a rewrite then we'll see how it goes, but for now im just gonna leave it alone.

ofc ty to all the lovely ppl who v graciously helped me out n took time out of their schedule to give me support, n to those who told me how much they loved it, I still do appreciate ur evry comment to this day<3

[adanaac]

Could I ask about your OC's? Specifically Ophicucus and Tsuru, I love how majestic Ophi is drawn and Tsuru fascinates me both with the concept and also how lovely you have illustrated him.

I hope you are well, and thank you again for helping me with my questions o7.

Sincerely HMAD.

oh good i get to talk about my son!!

my blorbo my beloved my babygirl he means everything to me

i made him in 2017 so hes sort of grown up with me (or i've grown up and realised things about him that i couldn't have when i was younger. i have so many complicated feelings abt this that i made a short comic about it last year)

to preface this im not a great writer dont expect good writing from me lol all i have is my personal experience and stealing tropes from stories i like

(got a lot to say so its all going under the cut. also a lot of death mention)

So. who is this dude

Tsuru (not his real name in-story, i havent come up with one im happy with), 18 years old, a ghost

he has a little sister, Ori, 15, who was meant to be my sona but then i just drew him more and like drawing him more anyway

first 2 drawings i ever did of him. he was based off natori natsume yuujinchou at this point, i dont remember why or if i even liked natori that much, but i remember distinctly hes based off him

u may have noticed he sort of looks older in my older art. this is because first of all art style drift lol but also as ive gotten older ive figured out that 18 isnt actually that old.

theres also a black haired version of him (two actually) its basically something like this ⬇️

important to know that everything about this dude is a convoluted metaphor

i lovingly summarize white tsuru as "people pleaser" and black tsuru as "nihilist prick" in my head and those are the things consistent throughout all the AU versions of him

(important differences only to me) alive tsuru doesnt act like black tsuru at all thats just his warped self perception (he also doesnt act exactly like white tsuru either)

also alive tsuru has black eyes and the shortest hair, black tsuru has blue eyes and slightly longer hair (also white tsuru is slightly taller than both of them)

if they all existed at the same time they would hate each other on sight but fortunately (unfortunately?) he is just 1 dude with issues

the general vibe is white tsuru is the "yippee floaty trickster" brand of ghost and black tsuru is the sort of ghost in horror media that stands just outside your field of view in the darkness dripping with blood

for the longest time only white haired tsuru was a "character", "black haired tsuru" existed just as his corpse at most, a footnote

but over the past 2 years ive figured that hes actually really fun to draw and play with, and in a different way than white tsuru

(wait fuck isnt this just abe trio. i do always almost accidentally draw tsuru when im trying to draw haruaki.... fuck.....)

(ive had tsuru for long enough that i just keep tacking details from my fav characters onto him.....)

halls smp

so ive been on this minecraft roleplay server called halls smp with other artists for the past 2 years, theres a new season of it every few months with a different theme each time to keep things fresh and ive just been making AU versions of tsuru for it so ive had a lot of opportunity to think about him

season 1 - halloween - jiangshi tsuru

this one is almost entirely unchanged from his base characterization because i didnt want to rp too much and also didnt know there would be future seasons at this point (also basically after the first day i gave up on being called "tsuru" bc its too hard to pronounce and everyone called me canada anyway)

same basic story, guy dies and theres now a white haired version of him (actually this is the same for all the AUs). in fact im pretty sure the black haired version of this one is exactly base alivetsuru. basically what ive been interested in exploring is different kinds of death, the events leading up to it, and what kind of person he becomes afterwards (but also in equal amounts im interested in making fun designs and playing minecraft and fucking around)

(this feels like the start of the beginners guide...)

i associate him with doves and at the time, tarot card 18: the moon, but in retrospect i now think he's card 0: the fool.

season 2 - winter - ishmael

guy who died at sea and eaten by a interdimensional whale and got isekaied. loosely conceptually based off moby dick, although i havent actually read it LOL but i did spend a week reading up on drowning and hypothermia

strangely, his death didnt create a white haired version of him, perhaps because he didnt have anything in life to give up his identity and replace it with. (and also remember the hair color doesnt actually mean dead/alive)

im only calling him ishmael now in retrospect, at the time he was just tsuru/canada

while designing him i had the biggest crisis bc i didnt want him to look to much like this old old oc i had (pic 1) but then i sucked it up and went with it anyway

i never got around to drawing it but his fingers are black from frostbite thats why he wears gloves all the time.

hes one of my favorite iterations of tsuru he looks so mad or upset all the time it makes me want to tease him, and also i think the grey skin and eyebags are very cute

i associate him with whales and tarot card 18: the moon

season 3 - golden grove - fox tsuru

honestly i think this is my favorite design of him i kinda popped off. i think im just a lot more comfortable working with warm colors. and also i associate white tsuru with foxes anyway (black tsuru is totally a catboy btw) (why is he not associated with cranes if his name is tsuru you ask?? bc cranes are hard to draw next question. he did start out based off cranes tbf, thats where the white hair and the tallness comes from)

dead fox possessing his dead human friend's body (although thats only the most literal interpretation of events; in all these iterations there's only ever been 1 person) the white tsurus are mostly interested in "moving on", whatever that means to each of them

btw my banner on this blog is him

hes sort of a set with s2 tsuru to me, mostly bc theyre the ideals that "white tsuru" and "black tsuru" hold taken to the extremes, and also theyre on opposite ends of the "hates people hates talking" and "loves to talk and mess with people" scale

anyway. hes tarot card 10: wheel of fortune to me

season 4 - wild west - mirage

the desert dragon, mirage. this is the season i started giving them actual names that arent "tsuru" and putting actual thought into the story lol previously it was just vibes-based character design. i have a short thing written about him thats meant to be the script for a comic, but i never got around to drawing it.

a sandworm-esque dragon that got tired of being a dragon and took up a passing witch's offer to give him a human form. this is all a metaphor i think. he has longer hair bc i wanted to spice things up a little

(also i consider this a form of death bc he left behind a giant sandworm/dragon skeleton somewhere in the desert)

the mirage-dragon thing comes from the shen 蜃 (which is used in the chinese word for mirage, 海市蜃楼 haishi shenlou, literally translating to "ocean city and shen's castle"). it's a clam-like dragon that produces foam that creates mirages over the ocean.

if u read "even if you slit my mouth", this is what the "shinkiro" or "shin" in recent chapters is. (i had one of those "smug because i already know all about the mythological creature a story is referencing" moments, which i also had with the four gods in yohaji bc i used to translate a game that mentioned them too)

isnt it romantic in a way? that the two places mirages are most known for happening are the ocean and the desert.

i dont have too much art of him because around this time i was uhhh (checks calendar) got back into yohaji and got consumed by it for a couple months lol (can u even blame me. it was july to september that was when like chapter 91 came out lol)

an earlier version of his design that i didnt end up using but i still really like this art

hes tarot card 9: the hermit to me

season 5 - fairytales/medieval - ophiuchus

NO FUCKING WAY YOURE NEVER GOING TO BELIEVE THIS for this one i actually ironed out what kind of people the black haired and white haired versions of him are. and also specifically this one isnt black tsuru but alive tsuru

i have a short poem thing about him, to summarize its like so many other fairytales about grateful animals granting their saviors something, but it doesnt end well for anyone

hes based off ophiuchus and asclepius of course, but also a lot of other snake stories in general, like the lindwurm and baishezhuan

to reiterate, for none of these stories do i consider there to ever actually have been 2 separate people, its always just 1 fucked up guy

i also sort of consider him to be a set with mirage, for both being serpents, and also for being "black tsuru whose personality is like white tsuru" and "white tsuru whose personality is like black tsuru", thereby codifying for myself that to him, someone who's stuck in his own head a lot, what matters most to him is his ideals, what all his actions are in pursuit of

he's tarot card 12: the hanged man to me

bonus: dnd character - alba

i also have a version of him i play for dnd, named alba to match with my party who all have color themed names. a halfling ranger who's very small and very loud. except he has amnesia and cant remember anything from before he was 12 (hes around 18 now according to him), including that he's actually a changeling who just transformed into a halfling to seem older than he is to work at a bar and nearly died in a bar fight.

(if you spend as much time fretting over semantics as me, you may note that changelings are medium sized and cannot transform into halflings which are small sized, for which my explanation is that he's been in halfling form since he was a kid, and after the amnesia he thought he actually was a halfling. this is also why his hair is white btw bc changelings have white hair. pre-amnesia in his "actual" halfling transformation he had black hair. i care too much about semantics but hey isnt dnd the semantics game anyway?)

anyway congrats alba for being the only version of tsuru that hasn't outright "died"!! if only because dnd has actual rules and i can't pull my usual death-ghost nonsense as easily!!!

hes very ship of theseus to me, all versions of him are. what makes up a person? what defines them? is it their face, their appearance, their name? their personality, their memories, their ideals? if you slowly replace each of those, one at a time, with a copy thats very similar to the original, at what point are you a different person?

as thanks for reading all of this i'll reveal what some of the metaphors are, the core of who tsuru, as a character, is to me. maybe this is fairly obvious, but all the death and personality weirdness stuff is a convoluted metaphor for depression and autism, as well as the experience of reading the things you've written years ago, seeing old photos and others talking about who you were years ago and finding that person wholly unfamiliar, that you understand the thought process of that person no more than you would a stranger's, as a result of having taken apart your identity and replaced it piece by piece with things from people you like more than yourself.

im always scared of scrutinizing tsuru too hard because he's just a weird reflection of myself, and i think i'll only be able to write a version of him thats more of a "whole person" once i figure that out for myself. the only way you see your own reflection is through a mirror after all, a flattened 2D surface.

haha this got kinda weird and depressing and personal at the end (mostly bc ive been writing this in the middle of the night, its now 4am)

after seeing my soul laid bare like this, if theres one takeaway, i think its pretty obvious why i'm so enamored by the parts of yohaji that i talk about often (huh wasnt this a post about my oc why did it become about yohaji)

oh yeah i just realised u probably also wanted to hear more about my yohaji version of tsuru specifically. honestly theres not really more to it i just like drawing him in situations. like of course the same themes apply but i just like drawing this dude thats 90% the reason hes my sona. like heres a pokemon au of him i drew recently bc i wanted to draw them as kids and also as pokemon gijinkas

anyway thats all. not really bc i could go on and on about him but this is way too long and also way too personal at this point. i think about him a disproportionate amount, i only have 2 other ocs i remotely care about and the extent of my thoughts for those guys is "i think hes fun 👍"

this has probably also been like, the 3rd most comprehensive description of tsuru that ive made, 1st being the thoughts in my head and 2nd being the past 5 years worth of DMs with my friend who i talk about tsuru with

(why was this sort of structured like the beginners guide. if youve seen the beginners guide tell me if im right or delusional. if u havent, go watch a playthrough of it, have an existential crisis, and then afterwards tell me)